Oh my goodness!! What a lot of responses! I haven't been able to read them yet...I'm going to have to carve out a chunk of time to sit and read them all. I posted last night in a crisis moment and wow, you ladies responded! Thank you to everyone. So, I've had a night's sleep, and here are my quick thoughts now... I'm hoping that once the dust settles from all the drama this weekend between Dh and I, that the new system will work out pretty well. I'll never be "perfect" or "spotless," but I'll try my best to keep it decently clean like I've always done, and he's okay with that. (For the record, I think it's fairly decent most of the time, a total wreck sometimes, and super perfect just before company comes, lol). I think I'm guilty of assuming the worst about his expectations.:blushing: I know he really does want it picked up all the time, cause he grew up in a very clean house. But, his mom had only two kids in ps, and they were 6 years apart!:glare: It's just hard because the in-laws live 5 minutes away, and SIL lives next door (with no kids)...so I feel like the crazy hsing wacko with four kids and a lived-in house. I need to really work on not comparing myself with them. I want to go visit other homeschoolers. Any takers?? :001_smile: Dh and I had another good talk this morning because I need to know what he wants so we can live together peaceably. :lol: Clean house or hs? He said he wants both and he thinks we can do it. He just wants a clean house with everything in its place so our house can be peaceful. He wants to have lots of time to go do fun things, not be stuck at home cleaning. I want that, too (obviously). He wants me to have good routines and habits in place, and for the kids to help more. I really try. I can make a schedule, but life is good at interrupting it. But, I can try harder. I've been getting up at 6 every morning and showering at night, so that's a big help. Just this morning he helped start breakfast while I nursed the baby, and he cleaned up all the breakfast dishes and started the dishwasher while I vacuumed and the kids picked up a pile of their stuff. We were rocking and ready to start school by 8:30! Yay! I didn't ask him to or expect him to, he just jumped in. I think maybe that now he doesn't feel that he has to do it, or is expected to do it, or even should do it, then he totally won't mind pitching in and helping whenever he has a chance. And I won't feel hurt if he can't help since I won't have the expectation that he will. Clear as mud? And he'll feel that he can go ahead and get to all the projects we want to do, cause the house stuff isn't his responsibility any more. So, ok, I gotta get back at it. I saw that Faithe started a s/o about housekeeping. I gotta go back and read all the helpful advice you ladies gave me! If I want to keep hsing, I don't want to drown in housework. This is two full-time jobs. Who has an awesome motto I can remember? Maybe this one? "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming." I think I need to start another thread to remind myself of the reasons WHY I even want to hs in the first place so I'll have more motivation.

We had a whole lot of talking about it this weekend, and I'm shocked to find that it seems like he really does want the clean house more than anything. I'm trying to figure out exactly what his expectations are. Communication can be hard sometimes, but from what he has said I think that the minimum he wants is this: dishes kept up, kitchen floor swept after each meal, downstairs vacuumed daily, laundry caught up and put away, beds made, toys and stuff picked up from every surface in the house (including downstairs, kids' rooms, toy room, our room, hallway). It doesn't seem unreasonable...it's what I would like, too...I guess I'm just not a good housekeeper. Yikes. That list doesn't even include things like dusting or washing the windows occasionally. After a hard day of school I feel pretty drained, and it's hard to get a lot done in the afternoon, esp, if we're gone. He really wants to eat dinner by 5, which helps us get the kids to bed on time. But I often have a hard time getting it done by then. Ack!! I need some serious time management skills. I certainly did NOT learn them from my mother. :banghead:!

I haven't read all the replies, but there is kitty caps. They're little fingernail covers you glue on kitty's nails so she can't scratch. Obviously, only for indoor kitties. My SIL is using them for her three cats, and so far, so good. One cat ripped them off but apparently she rips off her toenails routinely.:confused::confused: I'm going to be trying them, too. I'm afraid for my couches and accidental scratches on the kids. She bought hers at amazon, but there are also websites devoted to them, like kittycaps.com. HTH!

I wonder if I can keep it up. How is it possible to do this and keep up on the dishes, laundry, and housework and stay sane?? My Dh was helping out a lot around the house as well as working, and I really appreciated it. He wants a spotless house...and even with his help...the kids can trash it in about 5 minutes. I feel a lot of pressure from him to keep it perfectly clean, though I don't think he means to make me feel pressured. He says it doesn't have to be "perfect"....but yeah, pretty much or close to it. He says it's a slippery slope if it gets messy. It is REALLY hard (nearly impossible) to get these kids to pick up after themselves. But Mom needs improvement, too. I WANT a clean house...but cleaning has got to be my least favorite activity. I feel like I'm constantly working without much to show for it. If I could just be a tornado cleaner like Dh, it would be fine. But he's the hare and I'm the s.l.o.w. tortoise. We've always homeschooled, and we had always planned on it...but I really had no idea how much work it is. I guess it's harder because Ds7 hates schoolwork SO much. He really hates his phonics and language workbooks and doing his math worksheets. His attitude and drama is very draining. I think he might be ADD because he's so distractable, and DS5 might be aspergers. We'll be testing soon. Add to that my crazy two year old, and I'm :willy_nilly: They do much better with a strict routine, and once I add something, it's hard to change it. I just started memorizing poetry with them in the morning, and they work on copying it over the week and that's going really well. If I could do more copywork and less workbooks, maybe?? Anyway, this weekend Dh had had enough, and won't be helping inside the house at all anymore. He was super stressed to the breaking point. He'll do the outside and the garage and clean the cars for me, but everything else (cleaning, dishes, laundry, schooling, paying bills) is my responsibility.:scared: Though he has helped a tad bit here and there, and he does help with the kids. He really is a good husband. So I feel like I'm drowning. I don't want to be depressed and bitter...I don't want to hate my life. I wanted to be the cheerful homeschooling mom who loved her kids and loved life...yadda yadda...the whole charlotte mason mom with her kids outside in their fabulously-close-to-nature backyard painting with dry brushes. I'm writing this because I'm feeling a lot of pressure from the in-laws to put the oldest in ps. I'd have to keep hsing Ds5 since he probably could never cope in ps, at least not yet. Though I really don't know how Ds7 would do in ps...he's very social, talkative, hyper, and distractable. We wanted to homeschool for religious and academic reasons. The ps here is very poor and private school is out of our reach. They're saying that life would just be so much easier if I didn't hs. Why not get rid of any burdens I don't have to have? I just want to know...do you veteran homeschoolers with four kids really have a handle on it all? Am I just a hs failure, or is this hard for you, too? How do you do it all? Truly, how clean are your houses? Do you cook three good meals a day?? Thanks so much if you read all this. Sorry for all my rambling. Please be gentle. I'm feeling pretty fragile right now...I just want to know if I should keep on with this or not. And I do know about flylady...I'm a flylady failure, too. :tongue_smilie:

:grouphug: I'm in the same boat. :glare:

Ours (all four of them) have always come if they can. The only time my father-in-law has missed is if he's out of state hunting. I would be very surprised if they didn't come.

I still just can't believe she acted like that after the kindness you showed her in emailing her the menu and the list of ingredients, preparing it all from scratch, and accomodating her needs. I deeply sympathize with those who have dietary restrictions, but I would have had no idea what to cook. You were so kind and gracious, and you were able to put together a very healthy, delicious meal. Mmm...I love a good steak and grilled veggies!!:drool5: I'm so glad your hubby is on your side and said she can't come back!

:iagree: I'm so sorry you had such an awful guest! I would have LOVED to come and eat your delicious meal and hang out with you. She must be completely crazy...that was beyond rude. What a slap in the face!! The nerve!!

Siiiighh...it sounds lovely! I wish... as I go turn on my A/C in my sweltering house. Yuck. We never even had winter here.

We had meat-less spinach spaghetti tonight...and I actually had the time to saute onions and celery with the spinach before adding the jar of sauce. Siiigh...after a tough day of school with bad attitudes, making dinner can be hard. But I just discovered the joys of fresh spinach! I can stick that stuff in almost anything! And then, voila! The kids had a veggie! Yay me! :lol:

I agree...I think this sounds like a good reason to try it. If you can afford it, and don't mind giving up one day a week, then you'll probably love it just for the chance to connect with others. I hope you do enjoy the community if you decide to join!

This is us, too. DS7 hates all schoolwork, and tells me so. I struggle with him so much. The only thing he likes is listening to read-alouds. He's always been able to listen to good books for a long time. Actually, DS5 LOVED schoolwork, loved letters and numbers, and tagged along with everthing DS7 did...until he copied DS7's bad attitude.:mad: He idolizes his older brother in everything. Sometimes I have to remind him to put away the groaning, cause I know that inside he really does enjoy it. :lol: That kid just eats up workbooks with a spoon. Especially shiny new workbooks.

What a neat idea! I would never have thought of this! Thanks! Not sure how it would work with the nursing baby and her naptime, but I think I'd like to try it a little. I've always thought the boys would be too distracted. I think my biggest problem would be trying to keep the baby from getting sunburned.

I don't know...I've been wondering this myself. :bigear:

What can I do for exercise? Pretty much anything that doesn't involve sitting on the couch. But, I'm not really an expert on it.

Ballet--the final heartbreak Oooh, is that on Netflix?? (sorry...I just couldn't help myself!!)

Feeling like I am approaching a crossroads Two roads diverged in a yellow wood...

SIL, Brother, & 4 kids camped out in your living room for a week? Egads! Is that who those people are?? I was about to call the cops!

How far is your commute to and from your child's public/private school? Down one flight of stairs and about ten steps beyond that...whew...it's a workout!

Are shorts for women a no-no? I'm not sure on that, but underwear is definitely a yes-yes.

I agree with this. Our church's policy is the same as your previous policy...it works great. I would talk to the director or write a letter, but if it didn't change we would leave. That just sounds like a horrible way to run the children's program. What a joke.

Hi! :seeya: I've read your blog post before, too! I so appreciated it! I just saw your post after I posted mine. I can so agree with this! I took a lot of time to review the CC memory work at home, which took away any time we had for our own history and science. I felt that if we didn't memorize the material, then I was wasting my money. But if I tried to keep up with the weekly material and really base my curriculum around it, it was waaayy too rushed. I couldn't find a middle ground. If we didn't practice at home, then when they played review games in class, my kids wouldn't know any of it, and I didn't want them to feel left out. But it took A LOT of time. I was doing my own US history, but the baby/move really interrupted us and so I still feel behind. If we do it next year, I want to do SOTW 1, learn the timeline and history songs, but just not worry about it matching up. Any info learned would be bonus. Almost all of the other parents didn't do any CC review work at home, except those going for MM, but I just couldn't fathom this after spending so much money on it. But, I wanted to have the time to do our own stuff, too.

I was thinking about it all night...and if we can afford it, I think we'll do it again. Whew...if we can get in, now, that is, and convince hubby. I just know how much my oldest needs the social time. I hear homeschoolers talk about how much socializing they get in sports, clubs, activities, etc. And I'm so jealous! We just can't afford several outside activities, and I'd be exhausted trying to do it. I'm joining the charter so they can pay for karate lessons and another enrichment day once a month. DS 7 was in CC, plus baseball, AWANA, Sunday School, Kids Choir (when they have it), and whatever other play dates we can arrange...but it's not enough for him. He would love to be with 30 other kids all day. He can go and go and not get tired. CC was a built-in social time for him...a very expensive one with tons of academic benefits. We're in a local hs group, but with a new baby and a move this year we haven't done as many field trips/activities as usual. Plus, a park day isn't the same as the dynamic of a CC classroom, where you REALLY work on the classroom social skills. Sometimes I feel guilty that I can't afford all the extracurricular stuff. It's hard because, at least in our our area, everyone would love to do playdates and park days, but everyone is just too dang busy. Always always busy. No one has time to get together and play very often. Or if they can, I'm busy that day! Lol. I might do the other co-op in our area since isn't as expensive as CC, but it requires the parents to teach several times, and with DS 5's needs I can't do that. I have to be with him at all times. And CC provides so much each week (the fine arts, science, songs, presentation, and a chance for someone else to be the teacher). Ok, sorry, I'm just thinking out loud here. Maybe someone else can relate to my rambling. :lol:

Yup, I feel the same way. I even started a thread awhile ago asking the same question. :001_smile: I keep going back and forth, and I really need to decide! It really is just the money and the huge time commitment that are holding me back. We enjoyed it, but there was such a feeling of freedom when we ended this year. Ours met on Tuesday, and it was such a disruption to the school week. Also, my 5 year old might have undiagnosed special needs. I'm going to have him checked out soon. He just can't function well in a group, and I had to be on him like stink on poo every moment during CC...as well as take care of my new baby. It was exhausting. It was hard trying to nurse in the classroom when dads were there, too...I couldn't leave him to go nurse her in the nursery. Of course, next year she won't be nursing as much. We're joining a charter school this year, which I'm excited about (yay money!!), but it means that I have to keep up on providing the history and science stuff. So, CC was a safety net for those things. Then I think of what the kids got out of it. They know the history songs, presidents song (which they sing constantly), the states & capitals, the timeline, and most of the skip counting songs. They had exposure to the fine arts, science concepts, and all the other grammar. They made friends, had GREAT teachers, lots of fun and games. I mean, they were playing candy land, musical chairs, follow the leader, etc etc, and that is just so much more fun in a big group. My oldest is such an extrovert and thrived on it. But, CC is so intensive. Do I like all the memory work? No. Do I want to have to accomodate and spend so much time reviewing? No. Ack! Can't make up my mind. So I guess I'm no help at all. :tongue_smilie:

That is so disturbing...I wish I hadn't looked at it. How horrible.:crying: