Nature Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 We were invited over to a friends house for dinner and were asked to be there at 4:30. Dinner was not served until 8 pm! We were starving. If we have people over for dinner, I usually serve it within a 1/2 hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 If I would have been invited to dinner getting together at 4:30 I would have expected dinner to be served at 6 to 6:30. 8 seems incredibly late, especially if kids were involved. But serving at 5 would have felt rushed to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I try to serve within 1/2 hour of people arriving. Generally, if it's going to be longer than that I'll have appetizers (punch, chips, crackers & cheese) available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I try to serve within 1/2 hour of people arriving. Generally, if it's going to be longer than that I'll have appetizers (punch, chips, crackers & cheese) available. :iagree:This is pretty much what I do too. If I invite them over early, I have appetizers and beverages out. Dinner might be 1-1 1/2 hrs after they've arrived, if I've provided ample appetizers. Closer to an hour, unless I've messed up my timing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I said "immediately" because 10 - 15 min. was not an option. I would not wait as long as 30 min. but after people had a chance to remove wraps and to greet each other, we'd move into the dining room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I would have appetizers available immediately, and serve at a stated time or so. Like: Come by at 4:30; we'll be eating dinner around 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) Wow. I'm gobsmacked. I cannot imagine that. When I invite people to dinner, and it's just dinner, I pretty much have everything ready to go. ETA: Instead of having munchies before, I like to serve demitasse in the living room after. No one does demitasse any more, so it's more fun to do it that way. Also, I get to use my cute demitasse set and little bitty spoons and all, lol. Edited May 30, 2011 by Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I try to serve within 1/2 hour of people arriving. Generally, if it's going to be longer than that I'll have appetizers (punch, chips, crackers & cheese) available. I would have appetizers available immediately, and serve at a stated time or so. Like: Come by at 4:30; we'll be eating dinner around 6. :iagree: These two together are the way we do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 For a 4:30 get together, I'd have appetizers and plan to eat dinner around 6pm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 If I would have been invited to dinner getting together at 4:30 I would have expected dinner to be served at 6 to 6:30. 8 seems incredibly late, especially if kids were involved. But serving at 5 would have felt rushed to me. Ok - I would definitely put out some appetizers in this case though just for the record. That's pretty standard operating procedure in these parts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I would have appetizers available immediately, and serve at a stated time or so. Like: Come by at 4:30; we'll be eating dinner around 6. Same here. This is especially true for casual get-togethers like cookouts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 That is ridiculous! I would expect to eat no later than 6pm if I were invited for dinner and asked to come at 4:30. Dawn We were invited over to a friends house for dinner and were asked to be there at 4:30. Dinner was not served until 8 pm! We were starving. If we have people over for dinner, I usually serve it within a 1/2 hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 If we were gathering at 4:30, I would have snacks ready to go and dinner would be set no later than 6. If this were a more formal dinner with less acquainted guests, I would have invited them to be there at 5:30 instead and serve within 15 minutes of arrival. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amey311 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Did something go crazily wrong? As someone who has TWICE tried to cook a sizeable piece of meat (once a beef roast, once a chicken) on "broil" (because I forgot to switch that knob back to bake) and it ended up taking at least double the length of time, I can understand the huge gap in time if it were clear something had gone wrong. If I'd invited you to dinner, though, and realized I'd screwed up, I would've been offering salad, crackers and cheese, veggies and dip, etc in the interim. Sort of "I'm really sorry, something isn't going well. I apologize for the delay. Here are some nibbles for right now." For most things, if you were arriving at 430 and dinner wasn't until 8, you'd see your hosts working in the kitchen, wouldn't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
learningmama Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Most definitely within 1/2 hour. I've always tried to have most of the food ready before the guests arrival time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I voted an hour. People tend to come about 5-10 minutes after the arranged time. Then we usually offer something to drink with some type of munchie and get to visiting. This usually goes on for at least 30 minutes so by the time I get the food on the table and we're all seated it's been at least 45 minutes and could be an hour after the invite time. The only time I had anything happen like you mentioned was one year for Thanksgiving. My sister lived in Idaho at the time and we were staying with her for the holiday. She invited another couple over for dinner as well and I think the agreed upon time was probably around 5:00. Well something happened, never have figured out what, but the turkey took a LONG time to cook. We were sitting around playing Trivial Pursuit and munching. She kept going to check on the dinner and would come back and say she thought it would be another half an hour. We didn't end up eating until about 9:00 or something crazy like that! Thankfully we didn't have kids and neither did the other couple. My sister apologized repeatedly. Thanksgiving is usually at our house now and we all laugh about it every year. Could your hostess have had something strange happen as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brindee Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) I try to serve within 1/2 hour of people arriving. Generally, if it's going to be longer than that I'll have appetizers (punch, chips, crackers & cheese) available. I would have appetizers available immediately, and serve at a stated time or so. Like: Come by at 4:30; we'll be eating dinner around 6. :iagree: These two together are the way we do it.:iagree: That's how we do it too, so I voted depends. Edited May 30, 2011 by Brindee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Anywhere from immediately to half an hour. If it is not immediately ready, I set out snacky foods. That is crazy to have someone over for 3 1/2 hours and not feed them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Wow, that is strange. I voted 1/2 hour. I think most people would be arriving hungry on purpose, and would not appreciate having to wait too long to eat. I'd serve (and expect at someone else's) munchies/appetizers if the main course isn't going to be for awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 We eat pretty much right away and expect to eat right away when we go over to some one else's house - at least within 15-20 minutes. I'd never heard of making people wait when you invited them over until I met dh. His mom and that side of the family make every one wait an hour or so before eating. Now I figure it's only 'white' people that make you wait. lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 For a 4:30 get together, I'd have appetizers and plan to eat dinner around 6pm. :iagree: I voted 'depends'. In my family, you show up to visit for several hrs before the meal. To show up a half hour before food hits the table would be considered incredibly rude. I usually tell ppl I'm inviting when supper will be for, and then, 'anytime you want to be here after xpm would be great'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I like it when we're served dinner w/i a half hour at someone's house, and that's what I do. It's nice to give them a few minutes to settle in, and then we eat. I like to linger after the meal is done. Plus it gives you time to rebuild an appetite for dessert! Are the people in the OP from another culture? We have a lot of threads about Mexican (or fill-in-the-blank culture)parties where you aren't supposed to even show up for a good 2 hours after the start time...and the party goes on until the wee hour of the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I said half an hour because I would invite them about half an hour before I intended to serve dinner- but chances are we would move straight to the dining room to chat and get comfortable anyway. I do not handle waiting for meals very well, either. Something in me gets kind of desperate if I dont get my meal when I expect it- I think its a blood sugar thing. We eat dinner somewhere between 5.30 and 6.30 so by 8 I would be ready to eat the tablecloth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tearose Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I voted 1 hr, though it is probably somewhere between 30 min to an hour usually. I serve a variety of appetizers--usually a cheese plate, a meat (salami) plate, plus 1-2 special appetizers. We also start on wine then, and it's nice to have some leisurely time to talk and nibble in the living room first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 :iagree:I voted 'depends'. In my family, you show up to visit for several hrs before the meal. To show up a half hour before food hits the table would be considered incredibly rude. I usually tell ppl I'm inviting when supper will be for, and then, 'anytime you want to be here after xpm would be great'. But, you know, going to visit family is more about the visiting than than the meal. There's a difference between going over to the family home and being invited *to dinner* at a friend's home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nature Posted May 31, 2011 Author Share Posted May 31, 2011 Did something go crazily wrong? For most things, if you were arriving at 430 and dinner wasn't until 8, you'd see your hosts working in the kitchen, wouldn't you? No, nothing went wrong that I could tell. They made chicken and were with us until about 7:30 when the wife excused herself to get dinner prepared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 We have friends who serve about three hours after you arrive. We have other friends who serve about 30 minutes after one arrives. We tend to serve about 30 minutes after the guests arrive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 But, you know, going to visit family is more about the visiting than than the meal. There's a difference between going over to the family home and being invited *to dinner* at a friend's home. No, that was the expectation of ANYONE invited to my parents for dinner. Anyone that showed up a half hour before a meal would never have been invited again. Or left a half hr after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Good heavens! For that long of a wait, I would have enjoyed the show from the fire department for what surely must have been a kitchen fire! For a more "formal" type of dinner (rarely *ever* done here ::giggle::) we would be eating within a half hour. With casual family gatherings (almost every weekend) we generally eat within an hour or so with munchies available the whole time. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 No, that was the expectation of ANYONE invited to my parents for dinner. Anyone that showed up a half hour before a meal would never have been invited again. Or left a half hr after. So guests invited to your parents house are expected to come for several hours before dinner and also stay for several hours after dinner, when they were only invited to dinner? Is that typical where your parents live? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I usually plan for thirty minutes to an hour after guests arrive. I like to have time to finish up things and not feel too rushed. During that time, I would serve beverages, serve appetizers, and give everyone a chance to chat a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I voted an hour, hour and half - but it depends, really. Assuming you mean something more formal, we usually invite guests about an hour before we intend to actually eat, but it is also "expected" that guests will be somewhat late, so the actual hour between their arrival and food can mean even later than the stated time. It is not past two hours, though. When our guests come and accomodate, they normally get an aperitivo and talk some. Sometimes we have pre-antipasto appetizers, especially if children are involved (though we normally do not have small children over), but not always because it is just nice to get a little hungry in the anticipation of the meal, so aperitivo usually consists only of drinks. :) Then we get to the table for a small antipasto - which is still not about eating but about "socializing", it is a little more than a decoration and not expected that people will eat a lot of it - and this can be anything from 10 minutes to an hour LOL, depending on the dynamic of the table. And then the "actual meal" begins (up to an hour, I suppose), after which we chat some more or whatnot, and after a small break there is a dessert / caffe (if not late). So, for example, if I invited you over at 6, we would get to antipasto at about 7:30, to main meal at about 8, to dessert at about 9, 9:30, and you would be "expected" to leave about an hour after dessert was served - so overall, it is about 4-5 hour adventure. :tongue_smilie: If it is something VERY informal, the whole thing goes more quickly and there is usually no formal antipasto LOL. So, I don't know, I invite you at 6, you actually come by 6:30, we start eating some 30-40ish minutes after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TexasRachel Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 DH and I fight about this all the time. I think if we invite someone over, especially if they have work or school the next day, then we eat immediately. That way they can stay and talk later however long they feel comfortable. but he wants to talk and then eat whenever. There's times when if he's in charge (BBQ) he's just starting to get the meal ready when they show up. I think if the meal isn't going to be ready until later, state so when you invite them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 No, that was the expectation of ANYONE invited to my parents for dinner. Anyone that showed up a half hour before a meal would never have been invited again. I'm thinking most people were fine with that :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 I want to go to to Ester Maria's for an evening meal. It sounds simply lovely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Was it intentional? I know when we have people over I always intend to eat within 30-60 minutes. If I know it will be longer or people will be coming in at varying times I provide nibbles. That said, I once had a total disaster because I ran to pick up my mil for the luncheon. Yeah, she invited a church member in for a cup of tea. They proceeded to drink their tea at the most agonisingly slow pace, eat nibbles, chat, discuss the news. Chat more about the sermon, etc. I was freaking out internally big time. When her friend left my dh all most picked up his mum and tucked her in our car. :lol: She asked what the big rush was.. :glare: By the time we got back to our house the rest of the guests were WAITING outside the house and the food was NOT cooking as it should have been. I was mortified. Upside? It was family and they understood. We nibbled on SOME of the sides while the main cooked. However, it did little to appease my embarrassment. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Depends. 4:30 would be drinks and appetizers, then dinner around 6:30-7. Perhaps 8 if we had lots of food out. The bigger question is why were there no appetizers out? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 So guests invited to your parents house are expected to come for several hours before dinner and also stay for several hours after dinner, when they were only invited to dinner? Is that typical where your parents live? I honestly don't know if it is typical or not. Having someone over for dinner was an afternoon into late evening affair. Its what was normal growing up. Inviting someone for dinner was all about the visiting, not the meal. The food was always fantastic, don't get me wrong, but it was the company, not the eating that was the intention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I usually serve dinner within 30 minutes. I have been in the odd situation before where we were invited for dinner, and after 2 hours I actually cooked the dinner. The hostess was in such a muddle that she couldn't seem to get anything started. She was an old friend of my mother's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I said "immediately." It would generally be within 10-15 minutes after they arrive. If I wanted them to come over at 4:30, then we wouldn't eat right away, but I'd let them know that in advance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 We were invited over to a friends house for dinner and were asked to be there at 4:30. Dinner was not served until 8 pm! We were starving. If we have people over for dinner, I usually serve it within a 1/2 hour. I voted an hour. Generally, I serve drinks and hors d'oeuvres first and then make some time for chit-chat, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 (edited) I honestly don't know if it is typical or not. Having someone over for dinner was an afternoon into late evening affair. Its what was normal growing up. Inviting someone for dinner was all about the visiting, not the meal. The food was always fantastic, don't get me wrong, but it was the company, not the eating that was the intention. This is my experience as well. I was brought up that a dinner invitation was about spending some time with someone. It was not a dine and dash quickie affair. That's why I voted for an hour before serving dinner -- because there are drinks and hors d'oeuvres to be served while you visit a bit before sitting down to the meal. Then there is coffee or after-dinner drinks and dessert to be had, and more visiting, of course. I would feel a little hurt and kind of used if people came to dinner just to eat and leave. :sad: ETA: But... where I live now, it is some kind of strict iron-fisted rule that supper is at 6pm. Personally, I think that is just wrong, but since that is what is expected, I serve supper at 6-ish depending on how the conversation over hors d'oeuvres wanders. It has happened that I once served supper at about 10 minutes after 6 and I have still not ever heard the end of how "very late" we dine. :001_rolleyes: That continues to hurt my feelings as a hostess. I have to wonder if I was expected to leave the room in the middle of her stories to go get supper on the table. Edited June 1, 2011 by Audrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 This is my experience as well. I was brought up that a dinner invitation was about spending some time with someone. It was not a dine and dash quickie affair. That's why I voted for an hour before serving dinner -- because there are drinks and hors d'oeuvres to be served while you visit a bit before sitting down to the meal. Then there is coffee or after-dinner drinks and dessert to be had, and more visiting, of course. I would feel a little hurt and kind of used if people came to dinner just to eat and leave. :sad: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 This is my experience as well. I was brought up that a dinner invitation was about spending some time with someone. It was not a dine and dash quickie affair. That's why I voted for an hour before serving dinner -- because there are drinks and hors d'oeuvres to be served while you visit a bit before sitting down to the meal. Then there is coffee or after-dinner drinks and dessert to be had, and more visiting, of course. I would feel a little hurt and kind of used if people came to dinner just to eat and leave. :sad: :iagree: This has been our experience as well. If there are appetizers out, I actually don't mind late dinner at all if good conversation is to be had! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 (edited) :iagree: This has been our experience as well. If there are appetizers out, I actually don't mind late dinner at all if good conversation is to be had! I think that may be the key difference in the OP's experience, too. I think if the hostess had provided some hors d'oeuvres, then everyone would have been happy to visit. The later meal time might not have been much of an issue if they had some nibbles ahead of time. Edited June 1, 2011 by Audrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I would feel a little hurt and kind of used if people came to dinner just to eat and leave. :sad: Part of my experience has been due to how old my kids were. Now that my youngest is 9, I would expect that my kids would have more capacity for visitors to visit longer. Also- I'm afraid that in my case, I can only last for about 2 hours before I start to get just exhausted. (I actually fell asleep mid sentence when visiting with one very close friend). So I'm afraid that we have more of a eat and visit for a while but not too long policy. It is important to me to be able to actually entertain and visit with my friends even if it is with limitations. But without those limitations, I would love a long visit before and after dinner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cat Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 8pm is way late! that's getting close to bed time! I would want to be leaving by then!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I usually ask guests what time they like to eat, since we invite families with children. We always have nibbles out for adults, but most parents don't want their kids filling up before the main course is served. I'll let my kids eat veggies and sometimes olives or a few chips before a meal. If someone were to invite us over at 4:30 and not plan to serve dinner until 8, it would be a disaster! My kids would be clamoring for dinner by 6 or 6:30 and probably be crying by 7, if they hadn't eaten. I guess it would only be a problem the first time, by the second time I'd know to feed my kids before going.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 I would expect to be served around normal dinner time - somewhere between 5:30 and 6:30. If it was to be later, I would expect to have been served snacks. When I invite people over for dinner, I do tell them what time we are "open for visiting" and what time we will be serving dinner. If I wasn't served by 7, I think I would probably have needed to leave. Low blood sugar first manifests itself as a total snit - not too socially acceptable, KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted June 1, 2011 Share Posted June 1, 2011 It depends on if that's all we're doing, who it is, etc. People I'm close to, we're likely celebrating a holiday or playing a long involved board game. Although, in that case, I'd serve dinner, but I wouldn't call it "having people over for dinner." If your case was just dinner, as it sounds, I'd plan to have it on the table w/in 1/2 an hour or so of arrival, but I might not be that on time. OR, when I invited them, I might say, "If you want to come early, say 4:30, we can hang out, play games, chat, & then have dinner." Still, I'd be planning 6ish, not 8ish. Not that I've never served dinner that late (or later), just that I didn't *plan* to do so. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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