Anybody else NOT doing Mother's Day?

[regentrude]

We do not celebrate Mother's Day in our family. When I grew up, the holiday did not exist where I am from. Also, I dislike the notion that DH and kids do something for me just because there is a multi billion dollar industry drumming into their heads that "today is the day".

I much prefer spontaneous appreciation.

 

So, today, DD is riding horses, DS playing on his computer, and DH and I went on a little hike and had lunch together. MDay was not mentioned.

 

Are we the only ones?

(Oh, I should add that the same sentiment applies to Valentines Day and we have agreed to ignore it... don't need overpriced roses on 2/14- it counts more if DH thinks of it all by himself :001_smile:

[Snickerdoodle]

 

Are we the only ones?

No.

[cathmom]

We're not doing really anything that I know of. Dh and I are both injured. My mother is visiting, and this morning she took the older dc to church, and now she is running some errands with them. They did bring me a Mother's Day balloon though.

[kama]

Nah we aren't doing anything either. Well.. I am using it as an excuse to buy myself a book I wanted but I probably would have done that anyway.;)

[missiemick]

You are not alone -- we don't do Mother's Day either (or V-Day) for much the same reasons.

[LBS]

Wow, I'm reading other threads and LOTS of moms expect and receive a lot. I loved the homemade cards, with slips of paper promising chores to be done. I loved the burned breakfasts in bed. When the kids were younger. Now that kids are 21, 19, 15, I'm tickled they just remembered. They're extra sweet today, and will go anywhere or do anything I ask. One day of slaves, cool!

 

I waver between hating the Hallmark created tizzy, and liking that moms get some reverence and recognition. I made my Cub Scouts do something nice, every year, and I talk to my Scouts about it, now.

 

I finally got my husband to NOT spend big $$ on lots of cards. What a waste. It took me many, many years to train him to NOT get me surprise gifts, so that is never a problem, but, yeah, some thought.....helping the kids get something for me, or doing something for me....well, they do for Father's Day, but within a limit.

 

Its just not as big a deal to me, though. I miss my mom. I stopped doing big dinners for mother-in-law a couple years after I became a mom.

 

I'm sitting here, typing, which is not very celebratory. I better go get those kids onto those "free" chores.

 

Happy Mother's Day to all, observing or not.

[Desert Rat]

We don't do Valentine's Day, either. We do observe Mother's Day but not with gifts and such. We have a homemade meal with my mom and usually I get a card plus the kids homemade ones.

[Joker]

We don't make a big deal about it but it is mentioned. This year dh and dds brought me home flowers (which dh brings home at least 2x month anyway) and balloons. They all made me a card since I prefer those to store bought. We don't do big extended family things or meals and our day is pretty much a normal Sunday.

[jenL]

We do not do Valentine's Day, but we do recognize Mother's Day. It's not full of gifts, although the boys did get me a pair of earrings that dh said was super-on-sale. Rather, today, they make sure I relax, don't do chores, and don't have to cook. I'll take it for one day! :001_smile:

 

I am expected to send my mother and grand-mother something every year. They do believe it must be honored with "stuff".

[Ester Maria]

:seeya:

[Melanie]

No, you're not the only one. We don't acknowledge mother's day, father's day, or Valentine's day. I think my husband did something for my very first mother's day, but I can't remember what it was.

[Anita in NC]

We don't do anything either. I usually don't mention to people that we don't do anything because I get accused of being a grouch.

 

Today is just another ordinary day. I don't need Hallmark holiday to know I'm loved and appreciated.

 

We also don't do Valentines, Father's Day, Easter or the other typical holidays either. They just aren't important to any of us.

[kewb]

We don't do anyhting over the top. My kids love the idea of Mother's Day. This year my dd sent me om a scavenger hunt for the card she made me and ds made me breakfast in bed. This is the first yeaer he did it all by himself. He was so proud. Then I spent the afternoon puttering in the yard. Dh is cooking dinner. The perfect Mother's Day.

 

Dh and I do not exchange gifts for Valentine's Day, either. We do get a heart shaped pizza with I Love You spelled out in Pepperoni from a local pizzeria every year. Dh started that when the kids were little and they look forward to it every year.

[*Inna*]

You are not alone -- we don't do Mother's Day either (or V-Day) for much the same reasons.

:iagree:

[BakersDozen]

Every Sunday of the year my dh makes breakfast, lunch and dinner. I get to take a nap or do whatever I want. So Mother's Day is no different as far as activities go.

 

Even if I didn't get those luxuries every Sunday we wouldn't celebrate Mother's Day for the same reasons as OP. My dc may make some homemade cards but it is of their own volition, not because they are told to. Other than that, nothing going on here and I love it. :)

[sparrow]

I recently found out about the 5 Love Languages (I know. I must live under a rock.) and discovered that I'm an Acts of Service kind of gal. My husband knows the way to my heart.....he built a new home for our chickens. Best Mother's Day ever :D. My kids made cards for me and picked some violets outside. We'll have ice cream and watch the Amazing Race finale tonight. I'm actually working at our business right now, so nothing special for MD.

 

My husband and I don't exchange gifts for Christmas or Valentine's Day either.

 

The thing that is terrible about not being a "gifty" kind of person, is that it often doesn't cross my mind to get others gifts. A lot of people really like gifts and I feel awful when they get me things and I didn't think to get them something :tongue_smilie:.

[nmoira]

We usually go out for sushi the following weekend; it's a good excuse to indulge. :D

 

Otherwise, we celebrate birthdays and Christmas. That's it. DH always ruins my birthday (long story, and he's generally terrific otherwise), so this year I threw myself a surprise party the weekend before, but the surprise was on him. :tongue_smilie: A good time was had by all.

[Negin]

No and we don't do Valentine's or pretty much any Hallmark day either. I don't like multi billion dollar industries telling me when and how to celebrate.

Dh and I feel exactly the same way.

Dd usually makes something nice for me - a card and/or she sews something, but otherwise, it's a regular day for us.

We LOVE birthdays and anniversaries, however. Anniversaries are a family celebration for us and we always have a cake with the right number of candles on it. We call it our Family Birthday.

[mcconnellboys]

If my children choose to make/give me something on this day, then that is fine. If they don't, that is fine with me, too. We typically eat out together on the weekends, so doing it on Mother's Day is not anything out of the ordinary for a typical weekend.

 

I've never spent tons of money on Valentine's day, either. I get them some treats, but not a huge amount of junk food. They make me a card. I'm not paying and don't want them to pay $5 + for a greeting card of any type - Yikes! Likewise, why pay $30 (up to $60) for roses or other flowers that are $10 any other time of year? It's simply ridiculous....

[freetobeme]

can i just say that after today, i hope we never celebrate again?

that is all. :crying:

[rafiki]

.

[Julie Smith]

We usually skip Valentines and Grandparents Day, but stay small for Mothers and Dads Day. Homemade cards, notes, favorite treat that type of thing, I was blown away this weekend with the iPad, my current computer is approaching a decade old and not very reliable, so this was really "needed" and happens to be Mothers Day.

 

We told our kids that today is know as Mothers Day. My dh made a nice breakfast, but he does that usually once on the weekend. I do think it's important for them to know that today is know as Mother's Day so that if someone mentions it they know what that someone is talking about.

[annandatje]

The kids tell me that they love me. Sometimes I get a homemade card (the best kind), a letter or a poem. One daughter and her partner invited me to church but I declined. Focusing on doing my own backed up laundry. My husband brought home roses last night and Hagen Daas coffee ice cream, but not because of Mother's Day.

[MaMa2005]

It's just another day around here. I do get a Happy Mother's Day greeting from DS and DH and sweet phone calls from my older DS and DD, but that is it. No cards, not gifts, etc. We look at it as a made up holiday. I am, as other posters have said, amazed at what some moms have posted on FB that they have gotten for Mother's Day.

[creekland]

We celebrate these things, but in our way, not the traditional commercial way. Hubby and the boys made me a small card and bought me a fresh pineapple since I like them but hardly ever buy them for ourselves. They wrapped it in old newspaper. I picked out a dinner they will cook tonight (we had chick peas and rice for lunch - a sometimes traditional after church lunch for us). I picked a show we watched on TV. Then we went out and did a hiking geocache at a park - again my choice of activity and place.

 

They are seeing to it that I don't have to do any chores today.

 

It's nigh onto perfect as far as Mother's Day for me is concerned.

 

They absolutely KNOW I'd be furious if they bought a card or gave me the traditional gifts of cut flowers, jewelry, or chocolate. I'm not the gift-giving type - not now or Valentine's Day.

[Joyofsixreboot]

We don't do holidays much. The kids might make something at church. That's it.

[LifeLovePassion]

We do not do Valentine's Day, but we do recognize Mother's Day. It's not full of gifts, although the boys did get me a pair of earrings that dh said was super-on-sale. Rather, today, they make sure I relax, don't do chores, and don't have to cook. I'll take it for one day! :001_smile:

 

I am expected to send my mother and grand-mother something every year. They do believe it must be honored with "stuff".

I think you are my long lost sister.

[sheryl]

Well, in general I agree. On the one hand, it seems "nice", but it is a man-made special day. The same applies to Father's Day, Valentine's, Secretary's Day, Boss Day, Grandparents Day, etc. These were created to "feed" more greenbacks into some already deep pockets by those that came up with the ideas.

 

Now, I don't want to seem cynical though. Unfortunately, Christmas and Easter are also man-made.

 

I appreciate being recognized, but I don't need a day for it. My dh compliments me often. My dd takes notes and offers compliments on occassion. The same for kind words spoken by dd and I towards my dh.

 

On the other hand, for people who have strained relationships this may provide an open door for communication in a safe way.......buying that card and sending it to the Mom/Dad who is estranged from their adult children.

[Mama2Many4]

We do not do Valentine's Day, but we do recognize Mother's Day. It's not full of gifts, although the boys did get me a pair of earrings that dh said was super-on-sale. Rather, today, they make sure I relax, don't do chores, and don't have to cook. I'll take it for one day! :001_smile:

 

I am expected to send my mother and grand-mother something every year. They do believe it must be honored with "stuff".

 

This is what we do to.

[ciyates]

My DH's birthday is either on Mother's day or right around that time depending on how it falls so we always go out to eat. We have never done store bought cards (well sometimes when the DH is in trouble :D) For me the best part of mother's day is I get control of the remote which today means a Project Runway marathon. While we don't make a big deal of it, we do acknowledge it. We also do the same for the Father's day.

[Mom22ns]

We do Mother's Day and I love it! There are no gifts. No one buys anything, even a card. Dd made me a card, Ds did a mother's day animation on the computer. Dd got up early and made muffins so I wouldn't have to fix breakfast before church. After church dh went to help his mom with her computer and dd went to gymnastics. I gardened for 3 hours and had a great time. Then I picked up dd and we tried a new recipe "Bread and Butter Spinach", it was delicious. Dh & Ds cleaned up. Dd has brownies baking for dessert. After dessert, we'll read or play games. The kids will let me choose our entertainment, but the important thing is we'll hang out together.

 

Mother's Day isn't about spending money, it is about expressing love. My family does a great job!

[Chris in VA]

We do, but this year, my son ate dinner (barely) with us, but didn't even say I love you. It hurt more than the year I visited him in juvenile detention on Mother's Day.

 

My dd, on the other hand, copied out a lovely poem for me.

 

Her love is like an island

 

In life's ocean, vast and wide,

 

A peaceful, quiet shelter

 

From the wind, and rain and tide.

 

'Tis bound on the north by Hope,

 

By Patience on the west,

 

By tender Counsel on the south,

 

And on the east by Rest

 

Above it like a beacon light

 

Shine faith, and truth, and prayer;

 

And through the changing scenes of life,

 

I find a haven there.

 

I hope I can look back on this day, and see it only as a shadow, cast out by the light of love.

[Mejane]

Dh cooked dinner and we took a family hike. That's it. I forbade them from buying me a card or anything else. I really dislike these holidays, too.

[UmMusa]

Hi there! We do not even mention the day. To us it's not a holiday. I cook and clean and have as much fun as I would on any other Sunday.

[Beth in OH]

Now that kids are 21, 19, 15, I'm tickled they just remembered.

 

This is me :001_smile: Dd in college out of town, and dd at boarding school called to talk for awhile. I loved it! Dd #1 is turning 21 tomorrow, so she came home from her campus apartment across town so I could fix her a b-day dinner and she could do laundry. :D Oh--she also posted a funny Mother's Day wish on my facebook wall. I loved that, too.

 

Mother's Day has never been a gift giving holiday in my home, just a time to remember to say "thanks." In fact, I simply called my own mom and talked for awhile to say Happy Mother's Day.

[Peela]

I dont have a problem with Mothers Day but it's no big deal either. Only my son remembered- he is usually the one who forgets but he made me something in woodwork at school (which he forgot to bring home). My dh and dd got back from overseas on Mothers Day so it wasn't on their mind. A few friends and my parents both said Happy Mothers Day to me.

 

I think its too easy to get cynical about such notions as Mothers Day, but its not such a bad idea for people to remember to appreciate their mothers. Its too easy to forget in the busyness of life. I phoned my mum and chatted for an hour. I sent an ecard to my dad's wife which touched her heart. It doesnt take much to reach out and touch someone's life- why not on Mothers Day? But we don't make a big deal and if you don't want to do it, don't do it- but its what you make out of it that matters, not what others make out of it, or how it has been commercialised. I didnt spend a cent, but I gave my time and appreciation. Life passes quickly and you never know when you will never have a chance to express love towards loved ones again.

[Aquinas Academy]

For me, mother's day is just another day of motherhood. This year DD 7 and DD 13 made me a bracelet, and DH picked me a boquet of wildflowers. He's also cooking dinner tonight. If DH or any of my kids bought me something I'd be shocked. I'm not a very consumeristic person and I don't like being told I need to spend money to make people happy. A few homemade gifts is more than enough for me.

We don't really celebrate father's day either. Our Valentine's day is more about St. Valentine than chocolate and cards.

[Farmgirl70]

Well, we do. Here's how today went. My dh and dd called to say they love me and wish me Happy Mother's Day (they are in NY for a friend's wedding and some dad/daughter time in NYC--I'm delighted that they're there together). My 16 yo ds made waffles with strawberries on top and coffee for breakfast while my 14 yo ds helped him. We ate together and talked. My 14 yo had a theater performance today and as I've already been at 3 of his shows this weekend, I did not go. I took myself to a spinning and yarn store that I've wanted to visit. We're all home again now so we'll have dinner together. I called my mom to tell her I love her and spent time yesterday with my MIL. I feel loved and appreciated and I treasure the time with my kids. That's all. No gift necessary. (I did buy myself a magazine today : ).

[Miss Marple]

We do not celebrate Mother's Day in our family. When I grew up, the holiday did not exist where I am from. Also, I dislike the notion that DH and kids do something for me just because there is a multi billion dollar industry drumming into their heads that "today is the day".

I much prefer spontaneous appreciation.

 

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: But I realize that the young ladies my sons marry may have other expectations ;). Therefore, we do make a point of acknowledging the day so that they can get into the habit. I'm not big on gifts. I'd rather they do something nice for me like clean the car, plant some flowers/shrubs, etc. I prefer to be honored all the time :D

[sthompson]

We get cards and a hanging basket of flowers for our moms. Visit with them for a while and the whole thing seems completly obligatory! We invited the MIL for dinner (can't with mine since she has other children in town) and she declined because she needed to clean the car. So why does she make a big deal out of it in the first place :glare:?

 

For me we don't do anything. We see it as a halmark holiday just like fathers day, sweetest day and valentines day. Big money maker and we don't indulge. I also prefer "spontaneous appreciation".

[GypsieFamily]

I recently found out about the 5 Love Languages (I know. I must live under a rock.) and discovered that I'm an Acts of Service kind of gal. My husband knows the way to my heart.....he built a new home for our chickens. Best Mother's Day ever :D. My kids made cards for me and picked some violets outside. We'll have ice cream and watch the Amazing Race finale tonight. I'm actually working at our business right now, so nothing special for MD.

 

My husband and I don't exchange gifts for Christmas or Valentine's Day either.

 

The thing that is terrible about not being a "gifty" kind of person, is that it often doesn't cross my mind to get others gifts. A lot of people really like gifts and I feel awful when they get me things and I didn't think to get them something :tongue_smilie:.

 

I could have written this post. I don't get Mother's Day or Valentines Day. We just don't do them. But this year my kids are at a 1-roomed school for a few weeks so they were all excited about MDay. In the end, I was really pleased as they gave me a home made card each, and a container full of little pieces of paper promising chores. I loved this, but if they had spent money I would have been disappointed.

[Lolly]

Well, the kids and I cleaned the screened porch. And, dh cooked dinner. Hot dogs :tongue_smilie:. I do not like them. :tongue_smilie:

[Janie Grace]

We do not do Valentine's Day, but we do recognize Mother's Day. It's not full of gifts, although the boys did get me a pair of earrings that dh said was super-on-sale. Rather, today, they make sure I relax, don't do chores, and don't have to cook. I'll take it for one day! :001_smile:

 

 

This is us, and I *love* it! (Actually dh buys me a gift, too!)

[HistoryMom]

We do celebrate, but low key, no purchases. Breakfast of my choosing, homemade cards, etc. A phone call to my mom. DS5 did make me stop opening his milk bottle at lunch: "You're not supposed to work today. I'll ask Daddy to do it." He also made me a beaded bracelet with our initials on it. Sweet!

 

Wikipedia says this: "One of the early calls to celebrate a Mother's Day in the United States was the "Mother's Day Proclamation" by Julia Ward Howe. Written in 1870, it was a pacifist reaction to the carnage of the American Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War. The Proclamation was tied to Howe's feminist belief that women had a responsibility to shape their societies at the political level. In the years after the Mother's Day Proclamation, Ann Jarvis founded five Mothers' Day Work Clubs to improve sanitary and health conditions. In 1907, two years after Ann Jarvis' death, her daughter Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother and began a campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the US. Although she was successful in 1914, she was already disappointed with its commericalization by the 1920s."

 

My take-away: I should spend the day taking political action and volunteering. And definitely no presents! :)

[Attila the Honey]

We are very low-key, also. We did go out to lunch to my favorite Indian buffet, but other than that we just spent the day together at home. Dh cleaned the kitchen. :001_tt1:

 

I am probably outing myself as a total weirdo, but my favorite part of Mother's Day is going to the flower warehouse dumpster the following night and getting tons of free roses and potted gerbera daisies. Last year dh went alone and when I woke up the next morning he had put 18 dozen long stemmed roses in every vase and container he could find. I am going tonight with friends!

[lulubelle]

We made it a family day as well. My husband and I do not exchange gifts on mother/father day, V-day, birthdays or Christmas. It just didn't seem to make sense for us. Our need for gifts (via the 5 Love Languages) is low. We basically get some of the things we need/want throughout the year. It can really be stressful to go and find a gift and have it end up being something the other person does not like. My husband can be very picky. Although, I did get a great anniversary gift 2 years ago. I hinted around for it for several years! I've just planted the seed for something else I would like and maybe I'll get that in a few years.

[Tullia]

:iagree::iagree::iagree: But I realize that the young ladies my sons marry may have other expectations ;). Therefore, we do make a point of acknowledging the day so that they can get into the habit. I'm not big on gifts. I'd rather they do something nice for me like clean the car, plant some flowers/shrubs, etc. I prefer to be honored all the time :D

 

:iagree:with this and think about most holidays in a similar way. IMO, any day worth commemorating deserves more than a single,emotionally charged day. I expect my opinions come partly from having friends and family members who build great expectations for the perfect holiday, and who are usually let down because life doesn't meet expectations.

 

I think, too, that the commercialized hype can be hurtful for people who may associate holidays with bad memories. I try to find middle ground by honoring the way other people choose to celebrate special days, but also try to keep things low-key to respect the feelings of people who may find a holiday more sad than happy.

[Denisemomof4]

We have a nice day mainly for the kids. My oldest ds always had ideas of what he wanted to do for MD, FD, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. It made him feel SO good to do for us. Now dd11 is the same. She would NOT have been happy if we didn't have a special day yesterday.

 

I came from a very materialistic family so gifts and money DON'T impress me AT ALL. I'm far more impressed with a bird feeder than I would be with a piece of jewelry, or any other expensive gift. I have more diamonds and jewelry than I need and I told dh not to get me anymore.

 

Dd11 and I were at Pier One recently and she took dh to pick out some stuff I liked and wrapped them all. She was SO excited she could barely contain herself. The long, drawn out hug from ds19 was special beyond words. Ds15 and dd8 are rather self absorbed so it didn't occur to them to do anything, and that was fine too. Didn't hurt my feelings.

 

We spent the day in the White Mountains going to my favorite gift shops. I got nothing at them (a first! But one item I want will be back next month so I'll make the 2 hour drive to get it, and also stock up on treats for dh for FD next month. We saw/bought some AWESOME treats up there!!!) but when we went to an ice cream parlor I bought a Lucille Ball Vitavittavegamin (sp?) wall thermometer and was BEYOND thrilled to find it!:lol: We ended with a picnic and bottle of wine overlooking Mt. Washington. We watched a moose drink out of a pond. We watched the clouds come and go, the mountain's snow sparkling beneath the sunshine. It was PERFECT.

 

Every restaurant we passed had long wait lines. I told dh to NEVER take me out to eat on MD.

 

It was a perfect day. Simple and enjoyable...... no bells and whistles. Just the way I like it.;)

[Cinder]

We acknowledge MD but minimalize it here. We went out for dinner Sat night, but we would have done so anyway. Sunday, dh and the boys made pancakes and bacon for dinner. I don't usually cook on Sunday anyway. I usually clean the kitchen, so I loaded the dishwasher but dh did all the handwash items. No cards or flowers--I don't like those and dh knows it so he doesn't feel guilty anymore about not getting those.

 

We also don't celebrate Valentine's Day. Or Grandparents Day. Or Administrative Assistant Day. Or Sweetest Day (whatever that's supposed to be).

[Denisemomof4]

by the way, last year was perfect, too. Dh helped me to clean up the garden beds and plant new flowers. :001_smile: We had scallops for dinner, my favorite.

 

I see nothing wrong with taking a day to do as mom wants, but I no longer feel the pressure to buy big expensive gifts now that my parents are gone. I'll never forget the "pitiful" look I got from my parents when I boasted about the new bird feeder dh got me years ago. I knew how thoughtful a gift it was, and it was a REAL special one! My parents pitied me for not getting a several thousand dollar piece of jewelry that I didn't want or need.