What was your image of homeschooling and what is your reality?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I wanted to homeschool my kids even before I was married and had kids. I had this image of saintly but energetic children who narrated perfectly, loved nature study (with intricately accurate nature notebooks done in watercolor), were accomplished musicians, and done lots of crafts side by side with me in the lazy afternoons. My reality is pretty nice (but not saintly) and energetic kids who love to read but not narrate, love to play outdoors but not record the experience, and have to be forced to practice for a measly 15 minutes. My daughter would love to do lots of crafts side by side with me but my afternoon is anything but lazy and I don't have time! My son would rather escape into to virtual world of the computer. I was thinking "Where did I go wrong?" But now I'm thinking perhaps I just had the wrong image all along.

[joannqn]

I've always wished my kids would find this stuff as interesting as I do. I have part of that in my son, though it seems my daughter finds nothing of interest.

[Impish]

Perfect Stepford wives with their perfect Stepford children.

 

Hence, the name of my blog :lol:

[4everHis]

I wanted to homeschool my kids even before I was married and had kids. I had this image of saintly but energetic children who narrated perfectly, loved nature study (with intricately accurate nature notebooks done in watercolor), were accomplished musicians, and done lots of crafts side by side with me in the lazy afternoons. My reality is pretty nice (but not saintly) and energetic kids who love to read but not narrate, love to play outdoors but not record the experience, and have to be forced to practice for a measly 15 minutes. My daughter would love to do lots of crafts side by side with me but my afternoon is anything but lazy and I don't have time! My son would rather escape into to virtual world of the computer. I was thinking "Where did I go wrong?" But now I'm thinking perhaps I just had the wrong image all along.

 

 

pretty much I had your dreams, my reality is pretty opposite. The one thing I can say. . .they are learning. . . alot. Just not what I thought or how I thought. Of course marriage was the same way. . . the 'dream' was different than my reality but in most ways it's BETTER than I thought. It bothered me way more in the early years of homeschooling that my dreams were not my reality. .. now? not so much.

[JudoMom]

I thought we'd be done by noon every day :lol:.

[Random]

I wanted to homeschool since I was in high school. It had nothing to do with religion, although now it does.

 

My image was of two kids who were extremely smart and energetic. We would be out doing things all of the time and spend a fraction of our time on bookwork. I imagined we would all get along.

 

My reality has been one of four very wiggly, messy, destructive kids. The oldest is extremely strong willed and would rather sulk in his room all. day. long. than complete 10 math problems. My second has health issues. My kids fight with each other all of the time and we have zero friends. We hardly ever leave the house to do stuff because money is so tight, and they're not that smart! :rofl:

[plain jane]

I didn't have visions of saintly children or anything like that, but I did imagine that it would be a heckuvalot easier to homeschool with this many kids than it really is.

 

I figured my littles would play with blocks or finger paint or do playdough while we did projects or schooling, instead of insisting on my attention or asking me to take out paint only to be done 5 min. later and need a clean up.

 

I imagined being able to actually go on a nature walk and enjoy nature without little ones crying that they have to use the potty (in the middle of nowhere, yet not far enough away from other people that they can just use nature :tongue_smilie:).

 

I imagined myself having more patience than I do with my kids' shortcomings. :o

 

I actually thought I would enjoy doing crafts rather than shuddering inside everytime I get prepped to do one. We do do them, I just don't enjoy them nearly as much as the *idea* of them.

 

I even thought we'd eat meals at regular times like regular families. :lol: Ha. Most days we're eating lunch at 2, which means dinner is after 7pm, which means, breakfast is... well, you get the point. :tongue_smilie:

 

Oh, I could go on and on... but alas, we had a finger painting explosion and my free time has now been cut short in lieu of bath time. ;)

[Flux]

I knew I wanted to homeschool well before marriage and kids, too. I guess back then I envisioned myself with much more energy (Because I had it then!) to do it all. My kids are young and while (of course) we've been educating them all along, this was our first year doing K. What I couldn't have anticipated was that the summer before we were to start (2010) I had some kind of an autoimmune issue/bad reaction to prescription drugs (no one has figured it out yet) that left me completely unable to care for myself and bed-ridden in extreme pain for nearly 3 months. I now feel like a grandma trying to keep up with these 2 gremlins!

 

But one of the good things to come of all this: Being in bed and unable to move gave me plenty of time to acquire my TWTM Forums addiction! I don't know what I would do without the combined knowledge of everyone here!:001_wub:

[AngelBee]

Timely question!

 

Today my ideal and my reality have totally collided. :(

[Desert Strawberry]

My imaginary kids were older and more closely spaced than my real kids. I imagined us all sitting in the living room, snuggled cozily on the sofas, reading to each other. In that regard, we're not far off. I just jumped over the being pregnant, nursing babies, screaming toddlers, destructive preschoolers and distracted young ones. We're a few years in and I am still in ALL those stages. Yawn.

[kalanamak]

But now I'm thinking perhaps I just had the wrong image all along.

 

 

I remember my mother, once really pushed by my resistance, saying I was so lazy my "bones would turn to mush". I grew up to be the workaholic she was, but it didn't "hit" me until I was 26. Then: Katie Bar The Door!

[Sara in AZ]

I'm also one that knew I wanted to homeschool before I even got married or had children. By trade I'm a musician, and I envisioned how perfect it would be to be home schooling my children during school hours so that I could still keep up an active studio in the afternoon. Ha, ha, ha! That was sure silly of me. Did I think I was going to have a full time maid and cook and chauffer or something? Think again, self! Seriously, though, I try to remember how lucky I am to be home with my children, teaching them and a couple of piano students on the side. I pretty much have everything I ever wanted....I just had no idea how much work it was all going to be!

[Sun]

Ah, yes, the idyllic homeschool life I imagined: an interested child who works through the academics quickly, leaving us lots of free time in the afternoon for leisurely time spent doing crafts and reading by the fire. Then my DH would of course come home to a happy family in a clean house with the comforting smells of dinner simmering on the stove.

 

Yeah, you can guess how accurate that image turned out to be!

[silliness7]

I wanted to homeschool my kids even before I was married and had kids. I had this image of saintly but energetic children who narrated perfectly, loved nature study (with intricately accurate nature notebooks done in watercolor), were accomplished musicians, and done lots of crafts side by side with me in the lazy afternoons. My reality is pretty nice (but not saintly) and energetic kids who love to read but not narrate, love to play outdoors but not record the experience, and have to be forced to practice for a measly 15 minutes. My daughter would love to do lots of crafts side by side with me but my afternoon is anything but lazy and I don't have time! My son would rather escape into to virtual world of the computer. I was thinking "Where did I go wrong?" But now I'm thinking perhaps I just had the wrong image all along.

 

Wow!! I can so relate to your post, especially the nature study part. HA! I had such grand ideas. I'm the only one who ever makes entries in my nature notebook and the last entry was probably 6 years ago. :tongue_smilie: My dc are not nearly as outdoorsy as I would like. I think partly because we have a very, very small yard. I also thought we would be very crafty. I love to do crafts. My boys hated crafts and I hate the mess. Who knew?

 

I will add that I also had a vision of my dc being best friends. Ds#2 and Ds #3 are fairly good pals, but the other than that...ugh...the bickering and the strife. Not at all what I pictured.

[DawnM]

My kids were going to be the Sonlight cover kids.....getting all excited because "the box" arrived. I would have to stop them from reading all the books before Christmas because they would be voracious readers who couldn't get enough of reading. They would certainly be several grade levels above their actual grade in reading and most other subjects.

:tongue_smilie:

 

My reality is: UGHs when I ask them to read, one is reading below grade level and I have to cut out books because they moan and groan about "having to read so much!"

 

I fight them to get off the computer games and electronics are my nemesis. And my kids don't WANT to learn!

 

Dawn

[BakersDozen]

My original idea: Fun, fun, fun. For every subject. Absolutely no textbooks (those were EVIL, or so I'd been told, and "real" homeschoolers didn't use them :glare:). Unit studies, hands-on learning. Start at 8, be done by 11. No homework or weekend work. Kids who loved to learn.

 

The reality: Some subjects are fun but even the fun subjects don't always involve fun activities. Textbooks are fabulous and rich with subject matter plus provide a solid foundation for what is being learned. No unit studies. We start at 8 and finish at 3:30. Homework happens quite often (thankfully not in great amounts) as does weekend work. Kids aren't up at the crack of dawn eagerly waiting to learn and even when dawn has long come and gone they aren't as enthusiastic as I'd once thought they would be.

 

I actually prefer the reality. The original plan (which I had for a few years when all my "students" were little was fun yet exhausting and time consuming. The reality is attainable and so far I'm OK with the results.

[regentrude]

I am in the (lucky?) position not to have had an image. Homeschooling was never on the radar - until my kids hit Middle school and it was just not tolerable. So I guess, I had no preconceived notions ;-)

When I started, I thought I'd do a lot more actual teaching. I also thought hands-on activities would be fun.

As it turns out, my children much prefer to work independently and abhor anything "fun" or "hands on".

[Rosie_0801]

Well I assumed my daughter would be conversing in full sentences by now and be on her way to being bilingual in English and Auslan. I thought we'd sit on the couch reading books together. She'll listen to me read when she's doing puzzles or colouring in and as a bed time story to fall asleep to.

 

I didn't know the dvd player would get so much use. I think I'm just wimpy. :001_huh:

 

And the boy? Well I didn't imagine he'd spend hours sitting in a pile of grass clippings, but I'm grateful he does that outside. :lol:

 

Rosie

[pdalley]

It started way before home school was on the radar. I loved to read as a child. My idea of a perfect hot Saturday in the south was to walk to the local library and browse the shelves. I found so many good books that way.

 

I just knew when I had kids they'd love to read and I could share all those wonderful books with them. I read to them in the womb, I read to them when they were small and then as soon as they could get away from me they'd run when I reached for a book. :glare:

 

So off they went to public school and it turned into a disaster and I thought - great! They'll come home and they'll learn here easily because I can control the environment and I discovered TWTM and thought - great! I'll give my kids the education that I never and would have loved.

 

wrong....

 

The reality is that they love work books. I have been able to slowly transition them to TOG but I have to use Evaluations and make worksheets. My youngest I can only get to do computerized school and I agonize at least twice a quarter if he's getting enough information.

 

They read for information. They are Aspies and that's just the way it is. So I mostly educate myself and school them the way they learn the best.

[m0mmaBuck]

I had no preconceived notion of what HS'ing would be because I had no plans to homeschool. I started HS'ing by default. I already knew my son didn't like to read but loved history, exjoyed math and science but despised LA's, and tolerated the arts in small doses. What surprised me was how hard it is to switch off the teacher role and just be Mom.

[FO4UR]

My mom bought dd6 some Johanna Bluedorn books for her B-day. They are lovely books, and signed by Johanna special just for dd. One of those books is entitled "My Mommy, My Teacher." That is my ideal.

 

#1 - We live in suburbia, not on a farm.

 

#2 - Daddy works too much and in odd shifts so that when we see him, he's dog-tired. Consequently, *I* don't have time to do all I want to do.

 

#3 - We don't have pets.

 

#4 - I find myself raising my voice, chasing down an unruly 4yo, and forgetting to do something with the quiet and compliant one...the Mommy in the book seems like she's always perfect...sigh!

 

#5 - The mess! If I am ever absent here for a few days in a row, I'm buried alive under my childrens' messes. Please send help.:tongue_smilie:

 

Regardless, dd6 loves that book...so all is not lost...

[Rivka]

I thought we would be super relaxed, with lots of organic learning experiences and plenty of time outside, just exploring in the state parks. Because in my fantasy life I had somehow gotten rid of my job. :lol:

 

Instead, we are having to be extremely efficient about getting school done quickly in the morning on the days I work. My kids still have plenty of relaxed play/read/explore/discover time... with their nanny.

[iona]

less tears, stress, yelling, t.v., laziness, anger, mediocrity,

more laughter, peace, loving words, books, discipline, kindness and excellence

and that's just me:tongue_smilie:

[Elizabeth in WA]

I am pretty sure I never envisioned wanting to run away from home (at least once every day.) :auto: The children, on the other hand, don't ever seem to want to leave. My 15 year old is entirely indifferent to getting a driver's license, and even actively opposed to evening driver's ed classes so he could get a permit early. He only goes to any outside activities because I insist. :glare:

 

On the whole though, other than the aforementioned daily desire to run away, the reality is ... actually pretty good. :lol:

[lionfamily1999]

Scary bleached skin children (ala Adam's Family) that spoke strange english and could not understand 'regular' people

 

Turns out we're shockingly normal and the children have not started a cult or seem even slightly interested in the corn fields.

 

:lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Scary bleached skin children (ala Adam's Family) that spoke strange english and could not understand 'regular' people

 

Turns out we're shockingly normal and the children have not started a cult or seem even slightly interested in the corn fields.

 

:lol:

 

You're the only one of us who turned out much better than your preconceived notions!:D

[lionfamily1999]

You're the only one of us who turned out much better than your preconceived notions!:D

We started because we had no other valid choice :lol: We were both scared the kids would suddenly become creepy (us too). Thank heavens we were wrong......... Er, well, we're odd, but not the way we expected ;)

[MrsBasil]

Before I had DS, I had visions of homeschooling a large family. Lots of kids who all got along well enough to do some projects together and have lots of fun on our couple of acres.

 

This pregnancy will be my last for health reasons and we live in the suburbs.

 

I haven't started homeschooling, but for some odd reason I hang around here anyway. Right now I imagine that my kids will enjoy being homeschooled, have friends, and I'll have the time and energy to keep the house clean and make dinner.

[La Condessa]

Is it all right if I post, too? Mine are still little, so we haven't started yet. But here's my 'perfect picture':

 

You know the picture on the cover of the most recent WTM, of the excited little girl reading the book on her smiling mother's lap? That's my dream homeschool--that excitement in each of my kids for every subject. Oh, and they all are best friends with their siblings, clean up after themselves, and are ridiculously well rounded in life skills, music and art, physical abilities, etc. as well as academic subjects.

 

Oh, yeah, and my husband magically decided to put forth the effort to speak Spanish to them, so they're bilingual, too.

[FlockOfSillies]

Nobody told me I'd be spending an hour a day closing up folding chairs.

[Heather in Neverland]

My "image" of homeschooling was the old front cover of the Five in a Row manual. Wish I had a pic.

 

My "reality" is a hot mess sometimes.

[Peela]

One of the images I had was of having plenty of time to take the kids to the beach, the zoo etc regularly (things that I actually love to do myself and loved to do with them). I missed them when they were at school and had a real grief that I had lost them somehow.

But when we started homeschooling it turned out...I was too busy researching homeschooling, and then getting a morning routine of school happening. I became an obsessed woman. Taking a day off to go to the beach seemed frivolous! Although we did have "educational" homeschool group days at the zoo. (I took it all rather seriously).

We did have more time for fun things too, but the kids wanted to play with other kids- thats the truth- more than me. So I had to accept that and find them playmates and playdates.

 

The biggest joy for me has always been a love of sharing books with them and reading to and with them.

Edited April 7, 2011 by Peela

[hsmom]

My image of homeschooling was having children who enjoyed learning, exploring, reading, etc. You know smooth, easy, perfection. lol

 

Reality one word would be CHAOS!

[Ester Maria]

I originally did not plan to homeschool, only to afterschool lightly (even though I did not know about the term back then :tongue_smilie:, it was something that I thought "normal"), but we ended up homeschooling...

 

I was horrified, at the beginning, that I would have to do anything artsy, craftsy, hands-on, fun, colorful, etc. I was scared of all the nature study, projects, "wasting" time at zoos and child-friendly museums. I thought I would be bored to death and impatiently waiting for them to hit upper middle school to start doing "real" school with them. I feared they would end up speaking horrible English :lol:, and then in other moments I feared their Italian would not be sophisticated enough. I had grim visions of my children growing into postmodernists. Most of all, I thought it would be a chore for me. I feared chaos. I thought, right at the beginning, that there was no way that could possibly work out on the long run.

 

Turns out... The apple does not fall far from the tree. ;)

The girls completely blew me away with their propensity to abstract thought at an early age, with their concentration skills when guided and approached nicely, with how "seriously" they can learn very young, with their PREFERENCE towards ex cathedra, "academic" approach rather than modern pedagogy of moving around and chaos. I found them to be a lot more interesting company than many adults I know. I found that I was having so much fun (in what other people would probably view as drudgery LOL). They laugh at my English and have no accent. They abhor "fun", "hands-on" exploration, nature study, zoos, animals, postmodernism, group work (they prefer each their independent studies with minimal mixing), colorful contentless curricula, co-operation of any kind with any other homeschoolers, and they're extremely strong academically.

 

They are a bit too independent for my perfect picture, though. I was concerned about art before too, but meanwhile they found their forms of expression too.

I also did not know how dynamics would change with a little one in the house - I imagined I would snuggle with her all day while the older two would diligently do their work, instead of kidnapping her from me all. the. time.

I also imagined more read-alouds and stuff like that, which we do not really do. Or less bickering between the two of them (but they are getting better in the recent years).

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Crafty Mathy Mom]

Fantasy: Crafts, nature study complete with journals, field trips, working together, reading great books aloud with classical music in the background, rows of WTM style binders filled with illustrated narrations

 

Reality: Exhaustion, ADHD, battles of wills, lost books, screaming and fighting among the siblings, trashed house, whining over doing any type of school work

 

OK, I'm depressed now.

[Jean in Newcastle]

OK, I'm depressed now.

 

Ack! Don't get depressed! We're all in the same boat. . . go back and look at the realities of the rest of us.

[Dawn in OH]

Perfect Stepford wives with their perfect Stepford children.

 

 

 

I think that's an accurate description for me also. I also had this idea that the kids would wake up eager to learn and going running to the table. They would be enthusiastic, energetic and curious. They would be above grade level in all subjects.

 

I had no idea there would be kicking, screaming, stalling, and bad attitudes.

[Night Elf]

I didn't even know about homeschooling when I first heard about it. I thought the only people who didn't send their kids to school were uber-rich people who hired a team of tutors.

 

I went through phases jumping through so many methods and curriculum that we never felt settled. With each change, I had a vision of how I expected it to work out. I spent lots of time feeling disappointed. The worst experience was trying Sonlight 3 times. I wanted it to work!!! I really wanted it!! But my kids are definitely not literature-based learners. Our last SL try was 2006 and when I sent it back for a refund (their awesome 18 week guarantee), my DH said I could never, ever try again.

 

It took 8 years of homeschooling to find what really worked--traditional school at home. I am not happy with this reality. Most of the time, it is very boring. This is not what I expect homeschooling to look like.

[pdalley]

Fantasy: Crafts, nature study complete with journals, field trips, working together, reading great books aloud with classical music in the background, rows of WTM style binders filled with illustrated narrations

 

Reality: Exhaustion, ADHD, battles of wills, lost books, screaming and fighting among the siblings, trashed house, whining over doing any type of school work

 

OK, I'm depressed now.

 

Please don't be. Do what I do. I laugh. A lot.

 

I know from experience that it was worse for mine when they were in ps. I had to get them from school - tearful, exhausted and frustrated - and had to start in on homework that took hours.

 

:grouphug:

[Aubrey]

Image: Abeka textbooks

 

Reality: men in kilts

 

:svengo: :lol:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Image: Abeka textbooks

 

Reality: men in kilts

 

:svengo: :lol:

 

:smilielol5: Your homeschool must be a lot more fun than ours. . .

[Guest tscarlet]

I was home schooled on and off when I was a kid, and I swore I would never home school my kids (for the sole reason that I was isolated, had no friends, and was really really weird).

 

So here I am, with 4 kids, 2 in school, and each step of the way we keep evaluating what's best. My dd (oldest, now 7) was reading by 3 1/2, so by the time she "should" have started kindergarten, she would have been bored out of her mind in PS. We do the k12 curriculum, and it works really well for us. The kids DO love to learn, my ds (5) BEGS to do history, they love to read and be read to, and love to do experiments. Yes we have problems with attitudes and behavior, but don't all kids? My husband teaches them science, they always max out the limit of how many books they can check out from the library, and they do lots of independent projects like playing store, building forts, and planning secret clubs.

 

They have great friendships, both with other HS kids as well as those in PS. They are happy, confident, full of enthusiasm, fantastic kids and I am finally feeling really thankful to be able to home school. This IS working for us, even though I thought it never could. Yes, there is a lot to juggle with a 22-month old and 3 month old, in addition to all the cooking, cleaning, etc. But I don't think I'm going to look back on these years and feel that they were wasted.

[PrincessBride]

I knew I wanted to homeschool when I was expecting my oldest. What really looks different is that I thought I would teach EVERYTHING without exception! Somehow I would learn to play the piano, so I could teach them. Somehow I would get better computer skills so I could teach those too. I would learn to love arts and crafts so we would do lots of those.

 

REALITY: I am so thankful for our wonderful piano teacher, it has been worth every penny! They have learned so much. They take art classes thru the library when we can afford the time and money. I (gasp) even utilize some public school resources for band and computers for my older two. We co op for General Science right now, and sharing the labs with another mom has been fantastic.

 

I also would never have believed that we would have 7 kids, but I wouldn't have missed all this craziness for anything. :)

[Embassy]

Reality:

 

Dive bombs onto my back and ds's lap from my toddler while he is reading to me.

Having to stop in the middle of a lesson to change a diaper.

Working on delayed motor skills for PE

A constant doodler who doesn't like to leave a portion of his paper free from writing, drawing, or scribbles.

A messy house.

Dealing with negative comments from those who don't homeschool.

Children that didn't neatly fit into the skill levels for one grade.

 

 

Dreams are always better than reality. It is these days that we will look back on with longing though. I love homeschooling:001_smile::001_smile:

 

ETA: Just after I posted this I heard a bang in the kitchen. They jelly jar fell on the floor :tongue_smilie:

Edited April 8, 2011 by Wehomeschool

[ScoutTN]

I imagined myself having more patience than I do with my kids' shortcomings. :o

 

 

This.

[mama2cntrykids]

I just jumped over the being pregnant, nursing babies, screaming toddlers, destructive preschoolers and distracted young ones. We're a few years in and I am still in ALL those stages. Yawn.

I can ****soooo**** relate to this!

[JenniferB]

Every time I read a homeschooling help book I had a new saintly vision of my homeschool. Each and every one of those visions failed, and I no longer read homeschool help books. I'm trying to live in the reality that there's no perfect homeschool. Each year is different, and I just try to meet the educational needs of my kids year by year, child by child now. Yeah, kinda boring. :(

[2squared]

Before I had DS, I had visions of homeschooling a large family. Lots of kids who all got along well enough to do some projects together and have lots of fun on our couple of acres.

 

I should be more thankful for what I have. Your vision is my reality, and it really is such a sweet vision.

 

I just jumped over the being pregnant, nursing babies, screaming toddlers, destructive preschoolers and distracted young ones. We're a few years in and I am still in ALL those stages. Yawn.

 

Yeah, me too. I often wish those stages away. Why won't those littles just grow up? Then I look at my olders and wonder where the time went. The grass is always greener, isn't it?

[Satori]

I thought it would be harder. Since I only have one daughter who loves homeschoolling, it's been easier than expected. /duck

 

I must admit I envisioned my child would teach herself to read and we'd be reading happily together all afternoon. While she loves being read to, she could care less about reading on her own.