Poll: The real one :) How many siblings... are you close??

[SonshineLearner]

Variables... gonna see how I can do this :)

 

With families having as many kids as they can... or only having one or two... how it works out for most families... after their kids are grown...

 

Of course, I'm sure that it's easy to think that we're raising our children differently... and they'll all wanna be best buds.... But, I'm thinking... If you have kids... forever... and never get to "drink in" their cuteness... because you're thinking of having the next... Course... perhaps.... that's my bias... and I know... Each one is precious... and there's not one that you would "send back".

 

Just curious.... My brother and I... well... we're not close.... I love him... but just nothing in common except for parents ;(

[m0mmaBuck]

I'm the youngest of 6 and my oldest brother is 21 years my senior. In spite of age and distance, we are all still very close. The entire family (mom, siblings and spouses, their children (and spouses where applicable), their childrens' children) gets together a minimum of once per month (minus the few of us for whom distance is prohibitive). The women do an annual girls' trip. The guys do an annual camping trip. We are one big, happy family.

[elegantlion]

My only sibling, a sister, is 2 1/2 years older than me. She doesn't live close and we rarely communicate and never really talk. Even as children we were never close, we've never had a heart to heart sisterly talk. We have no semblance of a sibling relationship at all. Our personalities clash.

Edited January 15, 2011 by elegantlion

[staceyobu]

Wait. I think you need to change the poll to reflect if the close/not close answers are from big or small sibling sets.

[Just Robyn]

1 sibling - not very close. I wish we were closer, but he's just not very sociable (and coming from me that makes him sound like a hermit).

[Farrar]

Yeah, I don't know that you can correlate the information from this one if you want to know if larger groups of sibs are closer than smaller groups...

 

I'm much closer to two of my step-sibs right now... :(

[mommyagain]

I have 3 bio siblings and 3 step-siblings. I'm not at all close to bio and pretty close to one of the step-siblings.

[Night Elf]

I have one older sister and we are not close at all. She is 6 years older than me and was jealous when I was born. I don't think she ever got over it. It is a long and sad story from there.

 

I didn't even tell her about my mammogram and biopsy. Maybe my mom did, considering my sister had breast cancer and is about to come off her 5-year medication. Dunno. *shrug*

[Mejane]

What, no "other"? ;)

 

I have two but am only close to one. How do I answer?

[TN Mama]

I have one sister who is 3 1/2 years younger and we're very close. (I voted 9-10.) I have several steps, but we were older when our parents married and while we get along, we just don't see each other often.

 

My sister and I talk on the phone almost daily and sometimes several times a day. We're as different as day and night in look as well as personality, but I turn to her most after dh and she to me. We often laugh about what would happen if outsiders were able to listen to our phone conversations... Might be frightening. We finish each other's sentences, laugh uncontrollably and have our own language.

 

ETA: Sister lives in the same state, but about 3 hours away - same town as our mom. We see each other every other month or so.

Edited January 15, 2011 by TN Mama

[Daisy]

Two siblings.

 

I'm not sure how to answer how close we are. I said 3-4.

 

We don't live near each other. They live in AL and NJ and I'm in CA. We have our own lives. We talk on the phone most major holidays (Christmas, Easter) and we are FB together (although we don't really interact much). It has been between 5 and 8 years since I've seen either of them.

 

We don't have animosity towards each other, but we are not really chummy.

[RebeccaS]

I am #3 of 4. My brothers are 7 and 10 years older than me. So, by the time I have actual memories of them, they were teens. We are not very close now. We aren't hostile, just not close. My sister is 2.5 years younger than me. We were super close growing up, but time marches on and we live 1500 miles apart. We both got married around the same time, but I had kids right away and she didn't. Our lives were going in different directions. Now, she is pregnant with her 3rd. We are much closer than we used to be, though not like when we were kids.

 

So, I answered 3 sibs, 1-2 for my brothers and 7-8 for my lil sis.

[Ravin]

Well, I put 5+ siblings and not very close. I have 1 sister in MN, the rest in TX and I'm in AZ...distance plus all of us struggling financially means we mostly stay in touch via Facebook. The littles are younger than DD, and some of the ones in the middle joined the family after I was in the service and I never really got to know them, though some are still close to my mom and 1 is particularly close to my older sister. My younger sisters are twins and quite close, they talk more than I do with either of them anyway. The twin in TX does her best to keep everyone connected, the one in MN is the official Birthday Reminder Person. I'd spend quite a bit of time with my sisters if I lived near them, though.

[Ginevra]

I understand the question, but I don't think it correlates so simply. There are big families that are close, big that are not, small that are close, small that are not...it just doesn't work out in a simple pattern.

 

I grew up with 4 sibs (3 now; one died). I am not very close to them. Our family didn't foster closeness and IMO, that is the main reason we are not close.

 

DH has 5 sibs and they are very close. I'm closer with my SILs than I am with my own sisters. Dh's parents and other members of the family have fostered the closeness and IMO, that is the main reason we are close.

[extendedforecast]

I have two brothers, and we're all five years apart. I'm not terribly close to them, because we have different lifestyles and I live away from home. That said, when I go home, we pick up where we left off, without any awkwardness whatsoever. We communicate in between, but not on any regular basis. I;m much closer to my female cousins, because I can relate to them much more. They were/are like the sisters I never had growing up.

[Closeacademy]

You needed an other. I have 2 half siblings and one won't have anything to do with us because her step-father adopted her and my brother was born after I was in my mid-20s. I think we get along well but I am more of an approving aunt than a big sister. Hopefully, as he gets older we will become closer.:001_smile:

[dirty ethel rackham]

I have 5 siblings. Not all that close. Their kids are older and we have very little in common. Now that my mom is gone, we have very little to keep us together. I am not a big drinker and everyone else likes to tie one on. We are granola, they are better-eating-through-chemicals. We are very child and family focused - they are children-are-a-competitive-sport or "children have to fit into my life". We homeschool, they celebrate when their kids go to school. We live in a modest house, they all live in big houses (whether they can afford them or not.)

[kwickimom]

I have 6 siblings and we are very, very close. I am 17 years older than the youngest and we are as close as any of the others.

 

I am sad that there are not that many people that are that close to their siblings

[SilverMoonlight]

I had one sibling, an older brother seven years my senior. He passed away last July.

 

I sort of needed an "other" for the 'how close are you' part, as he had a brain tumor when he was two and as a result of that and a few strokes was profoundly & severely retarded. So it was not your normal sibling relationship, but I love(d) him tremendously, and one of the few words he was able to say when he was younger before he lost all ability to talk was La-La, which was what he called me - and he often reached out with his non-paralyzed hand to touch me, so I believe he loved me too.

[Ginevra]

We are granola, they are better-eating-through-chemicals.

:w00t::smilielol5: What a great line!

[kristavws]

I have 1-brother, and we are very close. We live across the country from each other, and usually talk on the phone at least 2 times a week.

 

Krista

[amy g.]

I have two siblings and we are very very close. My husband has seven siblings and they are close too. Every week, he has lunch with his brother who is fifteen years older.

 

I don't think it is about family size or child spacing, but about what your values are instead.

 

I think my children are already close. My fourteen year old had a friend over this weekend. I warned his twelve year old sister to leave them alone and not to be a pest. my son said,"I don't see how her playing with us is a problem."

 

I thought lightning might strike next.

[Shawna in Texas]

I have 3 sisters. One is 4 years younger than me and we are very close. She lives about 5 hours away, but we talk once or twice a day and text quite a bit. We weren't close at all growing up, but when she got pregnant with her first (I had a 1 yo at the time), we started talking more. For perspective, I'm 34, she's 30 and mom had us when she was really young.

 

Our parents divorced when we were 13 and 9 and established other relationships, so I have another sister who is 16 (dad's child). We aren't close. She's pretty wild and thinks I'm a prude and that my oldest is deprived of the real world. She only calls me when she wants to use me as the 'cool' big sister. When I tell her she can't spend the weekend with her boyfriend here, she won't talk to me for a few months.

 

I have another sister who is 15 (mom's child). We are fairly close. She's about 2 years older than my oldest and they've always been really close. Best friends even.

[snickelfritz]

I didn't vote about closeness. I have 3 siblings. My oldest sister is 12 years older and we are very close. We talk at least a few times a week, often more. My brother was 8 years older and he died when I was in college. My youngest sister is 15 months younger and we aren't close at all. We go months without talking. So, when people agonize over large age spacings meaning the kids won't be close.... I just chuckle to myself.

[Crissy]

2 living siblings (sisters), 7-8 on the closeness scale.

Our brother died 18 years ago. He and I were both still young, I was single and got along very will with his new wife. We three were 9-10 on the closeness scale.

[KidsHappen]

I have three siblings, all younger brothers. I am not very close at all with the first two but extremely close to the youngest one.

[HappyatHome]

Four siblings. Two sisters, very very close. And two brothers, very close as well, but in different ways.

 

The five of us are six years apart. So very close in age too.

[DawnM]

I have no siblings....so I can't vote.

 

DH has 4 siblings and we aren't close to any of them!

 

Dawn

[Debbie in OR]

Two brothers, only one living though. He is two years younger and quite possibly the wisest and best person I have ever known. I dearly love him...we are as close as brother/sister could be, I would guess.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

I was going to vote for my husband since I don't have any sibs myself. He has three siblings and is completely estranged from all of them. So, I could have voted 3,0 but that wasn't a choice and

 

ahem

 

no obligatory other?

[Mynyel]

I have three sisters and we talk all the time, same for my parents. We have wonderful relationships that I count as a high blessing. I am hoping to instill this in my kids. My dh doesn't have that kind of relationship with his family at all.

[6packofun]

I have 3 siblings (one is a half-brother) and I'm the oldest by 4 years, 6 years and 16 years. I'm a Christian, they are not; I have children and none of them is married yet. I think part of our lack of closeness has to do with our childhood combined with the spacing AND how different our life paths are. There are NO hard feelings between any of us and we get along great the few times a year that we see one another. We just don't seek each other out to spend more time together or grow the relationship. We're all very different.

[Mommee & Baba]

I have 5 other siblings and I'm only close to 1 on the scale of 7-8. I don't talk to my other siblings but maybe once a year; if that.

[pooh bear]

I have a 21 yo sister, and a 16 yo brother. They are not related to each other.

 

I am not close to either of them. In fact, if they were walking down the street, I would not recognize either of them.

 

When I left England my sister was 10 and my brother was 6. I have not spoken to my Mom in all that time, so therefore have not spoken to my sister. I speak to my dad every now and then, may be 4 times a year, but the conversation never turns to my brother.

 

I many way I still see myself as an only child.

[Melissa in Australia]

I am the oldest of 8. one brother and I are very close 10, we even know when the other is about to ring. sort of telepathy. 1 at about 8, 4 at around 5 and 2 at 2 not close at all.

[Laurie4b]

I had one sibling, an older brother seven years my senior. He passed away last July.

 

I sort of needed an "other" for the 'how close are you' part, as he had a brain tumor when he was two and as a result of that and a few strokes was profoundly & severely retarded. So it was not your normal sibling relationship, but I love(d) him tremendously, and one of the few words he was able to say when he was younger before he lost all ability to talk was La-La, which was what he called me - and he often reached out with his non-paralyzed hand to touch me, so I believe he loved me too.

 

:grouphug:

[sadiegirl]

We are not on speaking terms which is extremely troubling to my parents. It is not by choice on my part but unfortunately my brother has chosen this relationship. I wish for something different with him but it has been this way for about 10 years so I doubt that he will want more. I am envious of others who have a close relationship with siblings.

[Laurie4b]

dh has 4 siblings and is pretty close to them. They would all "be there" for each other if needed. We however, live outside the area that everyone else does, so we only see everyone once or twice a year.

 

I have two sisters and am not close to either. Neither of them has close women friends; both have demanding partners. It's just hard to connect to them--I don't think either has girlfriend skills nor desires closeness with female peers. Both are close to my mother, talking with her every day. ( I talk with my mother every 2-3 weeks unless she is having problems of some sort and then I talk with her more often.) My youngest sister and I were 10 years apart but lost a lot of the closeness of our relationship when my father remarried a woman with two sons. Little sis thought having two handsome brothers was super cool. I no longer lived at home. Essentially, her "family" is now those step-brothers ,my father, step-mother, and mother. My other sister and I are not part of that Brady Bunch crew. So for me and my sibs, it's a combination of personality and impacts of divorce.

 

I really, really hope my sons are close. It would make me sad if they don't relate to each other.

[amyable]

1 brother, 6 years older than me. I voted that we are in the 3-4 range for closeness, but honestly it's probably lower. I only voted "high" because it's not really anything either of us did or didn't do, we just never had anything in common, and we are both quiet people. We live several states away from each other so don't visit often. If he needed me I'd be right there for him, but on a daily basis there is very little back and forth relationship.

[BigMamaBird]

I have one sibling, a brother. I voted we're a 5. We're not particularly close, he even infuriates me sometimes. But we can get along most of the time. My dh and his sisters have a wonderful relationship and it saddens me that I don't have siblings with whom I can say I really and truly love. I often feel cheated that I don't have a sister.

[mommaduck]

I have nine siblings. I couldn't answer the "closeness" scale because we need an "other". My relationship with each varies from no-contact to super-close.

Edited January 16, 2011 by mommaduck

[BakersDozen]

There were four in our family and no, we are not close at.all. Our parents did not instill in us (until it was too late) that family comes first. We spent more time away from our home at friend's houses than with our siblings. When we were with our siblings we fought and our parents had no clue how to heart-train us.

 

We are together as a family almost 100% of the time. We school, work and play as a family with rare exception. My dh's idea of having a day off on Saturday is to be with his kids; I never go to the store without a few in tow and I love it. We eat every meal together and we have a blast during that meal. Our "littles" get sibling time throughout the day and worship their older siblings. Our older dc ask me every.single.day if I'm sure I'm not pg and when I say, "No" they demand to know when there will be another baby. :)

 

I don't know if this will last but so far my children and my family are everything I never had yet always wanted. All of my dc may not be best friends when they grow up yet it won't be for lack of effort on my part and I highly doubt it will be because I had kids "forever", lol. ;)

 

Quote:

If you have kids... forever... and never get to "drink in" their cuteness...

My mom "drank in" my younger sister's cuteness, did babywearing, had the most time with my sister...and my sister is evil (truly, she is). She was the absolute worst kid/teen I've known and hates all of us. Maybe my mom needed to have one or two more kids rather than "drink in" my sister's cuteness, lol.

 

(copied from my response in the first poll!)

[HRAAB]

I have one younger sibling, and we are not close. Never have been, and sadly, I don't think we ever will be. I wish I had more siblings because I think that would improve the chances of having a close relationship with one of them. Especially now that my parents are gone, I would love to have a sibling with whom I could share all the memories, someone who would understand.

[Melora in NC]

Two siblings. I voted 3-4 for my brother. We get along great when we talk or get together, but we don't live close and can go for many, many months without a phone call or e-mail. My sister chose to cut herself off from the family and I haven't spoken with her in a couple years.

[Denisemomof4]

I had one sibling, an older brother seven years my senior. He passed away last July.

 

I sort of needed an "other" for the 'how close are you' part, as he had a brain tumor when he was two and as a result of that and a few strokes was profoundly & severely retarded. So it was not your normal sibling relationship, but I love(d) him tremendously, and one of the few words he was able to say when he was younger before he lost all ability to talk was La-La, which was what he called me - and he often reached out with his non-paralyzed hand to touch me, so I believe he loved me too.

 

 

 

:crying: thank you for sharing that. How touching and tragic, how beautiful and sad. I'm sorry he's gone now.

[Mama Geek]

I have 1 younger brother. I missed putting in how close we are. We talk about once a week and usually not about anything that matters. He is 6 years younger than me and we have very different values.

[TheApprentice]

I voted for very close. My 2 sisters and I have actually gotten closer as we have gotten older. No real problems to begin with, it was more the age gap early on, but now that gap has "closed" a bit. More commonality in our lives.

[Remudamom]

I am one of five, and we all get along. Somewhere between the last two choices. I talk to my sisters more, but when we all get together it's a blast. But they all live in AL, so I don't get to see them often.

[GypsieFamily]

I can't answer as you had no 0 siblings and I have none.

[Denisemomof4]

I have two siblings. I'm sort of close to my brother, and my sister and I don't talk. She's just too difficult to have a relationship with. It's sad because dh and I have no extended family, really, but to invite another try with a relationship with my sister would sacrifice a peaceful life. No thanks.