Preschool: Yay or Nay

[Celia]

Just wanting to hear some thoughts on this. Please explain your choice.

 

Thanks!

[Parrothead]

The board has mellowed me. Three years ago I thought things like preschool and day care as necessary evils where I would never put my child.

 

My thoughts have changed.

 

 

• If it is good for the child. Maybe he has crazy parents.
  
• If it is good for the parent. Maybe they have a crazy child.
  
• If it is financially necessary. Someone has to pay for the Prozac.
  

 

 

Then maybe preschool isn't so evil after all.

 

 

Hopefully my humor has not offended anyone.

[Sevilla]

Most children enjoy it and it is a lot of fun with many different activities. I rarely think preschool is *detrimental* as long as it has caring teachers and is a well-run program. The arts/crafts, different toys, little friends to see, getting out of the house etc... are a nice part of the week for a lot of families.

 

However, we do not send our DC to preschool b/c of time and money priorities - there are other things that we'd rather spend our time and money doing at this point and I don't feel it would provide enough additional benefit to make the sacrifiices worth it :).

[Swirl]

Preschool outside the home or homeschool preschool?

[Pegasus]

I said yes but wanted to qualify my answer. Preschool can be beneficial to the family. Sometimes it's nice to have the preschooler happily occupied elsewhere so those at home can better focus. We used 3-hours of preschool for 4-days a week for our 4-year-olds. They loved it and it was amazing what got done at home during those few hours.

 

I would NOT insist on preschool for a child that didn't like it. I don't think it so much benefits the participating child as sometimes benefits the family. I certainly don't think a child with a loving family is at a detriment to skip attending preschool.

 

Pegasus

[jplain]

Assuming you mean out-of-home preschool, I chose other. I think it depends both on the child and on the preschool. Both my kids have gone to play-based preschools, and then they start homeschooling.

 

I loved the co-op (parent participation) preschool my older daughter attended. It was a lovely environment, and it wasn't unusual for homeschooling families to choose to belong. Then we moved. I'm less in love with the traditional preschool my younger daughter now attends, but she loves it so I tolerate it. Barely.

[MissKNG]

I don't know. I didn't go to preschool and I turned out fine as did my brother and sister. There are pros and cons and I guess it's just a very individual choice.

[Audrey]

Just wanting to hear some thoughts on this. Please explain your choice.

 

Thanks!

 

I think pre-school just sets an earlier stage for conformist thinking. For some, that is an acceptable goal. For me, that is anathema.

[Giraffe]

I also assumed outside-the-home preschool.

 

I voted Yay, but should have said "Depends on the Child." It's been wonderful for DD. She attends a Montessori school and has grown so much the past few months. As an only child who has moved around a lot in her short life, she didn't have many friends and being new to this area I had no idea where to start. Preschool has made her so much more social, outgoing, and curious.

 

But that's just us. It really does depend on the child. My nieces and nephews are so happy at home that I can't imagine any of them in an outside preschool or school for that matter. I've heard of kids who just weren't ready for preschool, and kids that had issues in preschool - sensitivity, noise, bullying. I watch for sensitivity in DD - she's got some issues and her teacher knows of them and watches too. So far, so good. Montessori is a good fit for her - independent work in a group setting, not too loud, not too quiet. Just right.

[renmew]

I voted "other," because I think it depends on the family, the kid, and the preschool. Everyone should decide on a case-by-case basis.

[NanceXToo]

That's so hard to put a yes or no answer to. There are things about it I can see as being beneficial for certain children. And I don't just mean ones with bad parents or bad homes, I mean some kids would truly ENJOY going to preschool.

 

But there are aspects I do think could be detrimental... or at least not beneficial, too.

 

I really thought long and hard about whether to send my son to preschool- not for learning, because I didn't think anyone could teach him anything in preschool that I couldn't... but just for the experience, to be with the other kids, to do group activities, to free me up for homeschooling my older and doing outings that a younger would make more, well, difficult...

 

...but in the end, I just didn't want to give him up. I kept him home with me and I'm glad I did.

 

(10 y/o dd did go to preschool...but then again, she went to public school for a few years after that, too. At the time, homeschooling had never even crossed my mind. In hindsight I wish I hadn't sent her away from home every day so young the way I did... but, then again, she really DID enjoy preschool and really loved going.)

Edited January 1, 2011 by NanceXToo

[Rosie_0801]

I think pre-school just sets an earlier stage for conformist thinking. For some, that is an acceptable goal. For me, that is anathema.

 

 

Yeah, that's mostly why I'm not sending my eldest. I probably won't send number two either, but I'll find out the reason why not when he's older ;) It might be this one, or it might be coz I'll be too lazy to bother. I'm tipping for not wanting to send him because he'll finally be civilised enough to take to the places dd and I can't go yet because of him!

 

Rosie

[nukeswife]

I voted other. None of my kids have been to preschool for any extended period. My oldest never went, my dd went for 2 weeks when she was 2.5. She asked to go, so we tried it, on a 2 day a week basis, and by the 2nd week she just didn't want to go anymore. She didn't like what they were doing and we had more fun at home. My youngest son only went for 2 days and it was because we were visiting family over Thanksgiving and it was cold as all get out in IA, so my dh's Aunt who runs the local church preschool offered to pick him up (he was 4) and take him for the day just to give him some fun stuff to do during the day when my inlaws were at work and there really wasn't anything else to do. He had fun but said he didn't want to do it everyday.

[Spy Car]

My son, my wife, and I had a marvelous experience as part of a coop nursery school. It was an extremely enriching experience for my child. And he (and we) made great friends that are still part of our lives and I expect these relationships to be strong for many years to come.

 

Nursery school was a very positive experience for this family.

 

Bill

[Bird Girl]

Both of my kids loved the play-based preschool they attended. There was no conformist thinking, so I'm not sure where that idea comes from. They had several hours each day to negotiate with peers, play with toys we didn't have at home, do messy art projects, and go on field trips. It was fantastic. When my DD began homeschooling, we did all her schoolwork during the time that her little brother was at his school, so I didn't have to occupy a bored four-year-old while my second-grader and I did academic stuff. They're both at home now, but we're expecting #3, and if it works with our schedule, I'll probably send that little one to preschool, too.

[sleepymommy]

I think it depends on the child and parent.

 

I'm not artsy and like that my kid can do all that arts and crafts type of stuff at school. Last year, ds4 stayed home with me and I bought all these crafty things to do with him thinking that if I had everything I would do it.

 

I did not.

 

So it works better for me. He enjoys having a little independence too. He was always under his brother's shadow and I noticed his confidence lessen a bit because he would say things like "I'm too little for that". His brother could ride a bike, he couldn't, his brother could read, he couldn't, his brother could go to co-op classes, he couldn't, etc.

 

It's been nice for him this year, he doesn't think he's "too little" anymore and he's made a lot of friends. He was mostly just tagging along on his brother's playdates before.

 

So, I don't think it's a bad thing, it just depends on the family and the child.

[Celia]

Preschool outside the home or homeschool preschool?

 

I'm sorry - I meant outside the home

[phathui5]

I think preschool can be good for children who don't live in an environment where they are getting academic or social enrichment.

[Laura in CA]

My son, my wife, and I had a marvelous experience as part of a coop nursery school. It was an extremely enriching experience for my child. And he (and we) made great friends that are still part of our lives and I expect these relationships to be strong for many years to come.

 

Nursery school was a very positive experience for this family.

 

:iagree:

 

I voted "yea" also, b/c our experience was much like Bill's. It was a 2-hour (Tues. & Thurs.) co-op run by our town rec department, within walking distance of our home. My son & I made some great friends. It's also, by the way, where we met our first real live homeschoolers :001_smile: At first I thought they were nuts, but we eventually came over to the "dark side" :D

 

~Laura

[Rosie_0801]

Both of my kids loved the play-based preschool they attended. There was no conformist thinking, so I'm not sure where that idea comes from.

 

I went to a play based pre-school myself, and was the annoying little bundle who didn't want to say "May I leave the table?" because it sounded silly and "Can I?" was just as polite and was understood to mean the same thing. "Of course you can, but no you may not" was playing mind games in my four year old opinion. And I was the little rebel who refused to put lemon into her marmalade because she didn't like lemon.

 

So yeah, conformist thinking exists in play-based preschools :lol:

 

Rosie- who liked preschool and was quite well behaved otherwise :tongue_smilie:

[Parrothead]

I went to a play based pre-school myself, and was the annoying little bundle who didn't want to say "May I leave the table?" because it sounded silly and "Can I?" was just as polite and was understood to mean the same thing. "Of course you can, but no you may not" was playing mind games in my four year old opinion. And I was the little rebel who refused to put lemon into her marmalade because she didn't like lemon.

 

So yeah, conformist thinking exists in play-based preschools :lol:

 

Rosie- who liked preschool and was quite well behaved otherwise :tongue_smilie:

You have issues, don't you? :lol:

[RoundAbout]

If I could find a good play based preschool nearby like this one featured here at Let the Children Play, I would do it in a heartbeat. However, I'm not really interested in paying a lot of money or dealing with the hassle of commuting several mornings a week to have my son be part of the NCLB (No Child Left Behind) machine that pushes early sight reading and worksheets. Since we will homeschool he also doesn't need to be taught how to stand in line or raise his hand to go to the bathroom. My 4 yo DS is on the rowdy side and has the usual boy-aversion to sit down type work like coloring and writing and I don't think he would do well in most preschool environments.

 

Instead of preschool we do stuff like library story time, a weekly hiking-with-kids group, bicycle a ton (he regularly does 10-20 mile rides on an attachment bike with us), dig in the dirt, go on field trips to the zoo/aquarium, and a little bit of preschool-at-home work. I really try to avoid lessons, classes, sports, or anything that requires us to commit to being someplace every week, there's plenty of time for that when he's older.

 

I believe studies show that kids from disadvantaged backgrounds benefit from attending formal preschool, but in an average home with attentive, literate adults, most kids are going to learn their colors and numbers, and how to color and cut without too much trouble.

[Mommy22alyns]

I voted that it depends on the child. Becca went to 2 years of Mother's Day Out preschool (2 days/week) and loved it. She really thrived there. I put Sylvia in the same place and she lasted 4 months before declining to return and asking for "homeschool preschool." :001_smile:

[dirty ethel rackham]

I put other because I think it depends on lots of factors. In a learning rich home, I say preschool is unnecessary and sometimes harmful. What I mean by learning rich - a print rich environment with lots of books, magazines, etc, lots of gross motor and fine motor play, interaction with others, inquiry, adults that talk with them and listen, etc. I think most homes with engaged parents can be learning rich.

 

However, in learning deprived homes, preschool may be a benefit. That is originally where preschool came from - helping those with disadvantaged home environments catch up. A learning deprived home is one where adults are not engaged with the children, there is very little reading material for the children, screen time is a substitute for activity and engagement. It can be endemic or it can be just a season.

 

There was a season when I was concerned that my home was "learning deprived" - especially after my daughter was born and I was just plain tired and not as engaged in learning as I was with my older ones at that age. But a friend helped me do an inventory of what we were doing. She attended Sunday school and the Bible Study kids program while I did my Bible study. Also, my older kids did provide much of the stimulation (reading to her and playing with her) that I felt I was not providing. Plus, she tagged along to many of my older kids activities thus benefitting from other younger siblings as well as just joining in where she could.

[lionfamily1999]

I voted yes. My middle child is the only one that has attended a preschool, but dd, ds and I have all "done" preschool. I think it's beneficial, because I believe that three and four are the right ages for children to start learning counting, the alphabet, time, and all those other simple skills. I do not mean to say that every child should attend a preschool, hsing preschool is great too :D

[catz]

Both my kids attended preschool. And it was a good experience for both. I did prefer the tiny co-op preschool with just 20 kids in 2 rooms where we presonally knew each child and family. The whole thing was open ended and creative and no one was pigeon holed.

 

I think pre-school just sets an earlier stage for conformist thinking. For some, that is an acceptable goal. For me, that is anathema.

 

 

Hmmm ... this was very much my experience when my child attended 2 years of PS as a profoundly gifted k & 1st grader. But preschool - not at all. In particular I think both schools taught my kids quite a bit about social interactions - honoring themselves and their own feelings while respecting the needs, space, and feelings of others. Both my kids absolutely loved it and neither would fit well into your standard PS classroom. Not to mention, it was never over 8 hours a week and class sizes were very small. I would mention my kids are generally extroverted.

 

Edited to say - I voted for other. I think it depends on the child AND the parents needs.

Edited January 2, 2011 by kck

[Ravin]

I put other, because family circumstances, more than the individual child, is the determinant for me. DS will likely go to preschool at the child care facility at our university; DD went there my last semester of college an really liked it, it was a good experience all around. Since I will be in law school through DS's preschool years, he'll likely go, probably 2 days a week if we can schedule it that way. Until he's old enough for the center we'll likely use the same in-home childcare provider DD went to as a baby.

[Impish]

I said no.

 

Preschools just don't abound around here. The only time I see 'Preschool' is usually attached to a daycare.

 

 

So, no, in that case I'm not interested. I guess I don't see a huge difference btwn sending a child to kindergarten or preschool.

[JennyD]

I think that preschool generally sounds quite lovely. However, all of the preschools in my neighborhood are stunningly expensive (as in, 4yo programs are between $12,000 and $29,000 per year), have relatively long hours, and involve time-consuming and highly competitive application processes that begin the Labor Day of the year before the child would begin.

 

So no preschool here. But if we lived somewhere else, we might well have gone down that road.

[my2boysteacher]

I suppose it seems logical if your child will be attending public school. ;)

 

However, I'm of the extremely old-fashioned mind set that children should be home with their mamas.

I taught in a couple different pre-schools before I had my children- a catholic pre-school, a montessori pre-school, and a daycare/pre-school.

I never saw anything in any of the schools that I couldn't give my children here, at home. Or want to, for that matter. :D They play with each other, their cousins, friends at church and story time. We create a literature rich environment and spend a lot of time exploring our neighborhood, and beyond.

In my mind, pre-school is teaching them the skills they need for public (or private) school like raising your hand, standing in line, asking permission to go potty, etc.

Just my .02 worth.

[Kimberly in IN]

I voted depends on the child. All 4 of my dc attended preschool for some of the time and each child enjoyed their time. It WAS NOT neccesary, just a benefit. If it had been inconvenient, too much $, etc. we would not have participated. I/we looked at each child and what would benefit them, not a cookie cutter approach. Different programs, differing amount of time spent in preschool, etc was our approach. There are so many factors involved, I can't imagine how there is one answer that would be correct for each family or for each child.

[SonshineLearner]

Good for the mom! :)

[Mejane]

I chose depends on the child. My daughter didn't need it, but loved it. My son did need it, but hated it. Ime, all the things kids now learn in pre-K, we used to learn in K; if they need to go it's just to keep up with the accelerated pace of today's educational system.

[Osmosis Mom]

I think pre-school just sets an earlier stage for conformist thinking. For some, that is an acceptable goal. For me, that is anathema.

 

Exactly why I chose to not send ds to the EI-slot he got offered in the "excellent" public school. Visited for one hour and could just not stand the following of the rules and having to wait with hands folded etc. etc. Bleech.

[SnowWhite]

I chose "No", because I believe it is more beneficial for children to spend time with their parent(s) than in preschool. The preschool years are THE most crucial times, IMO, for parents to impart their character training.

[Emilylou]

I voted depends on the child. Our state has a 5 day a week, 1/2 day program through the public school. It is free, your child gets in by the lottery system.

 

My DS was picked but I didn't send him. My DD was picked and went. She loved it, but was ready to come home after the year for K at home. She loved the social part of it, she had a wonderful teacher. She really needed it for some social fine tuning (sharing ect) :) I was OK with the whole thing ONLY because I knew she would be homeschooled for K and it was FREE. I would have never paid for them to go to preschool.

[Jan in SC]

My boys loved preschool. It was a sweet little church preschool for a couple of mornings a week. They were willing to do the very messy crafts that I avoid.

 

Nothing is sweeter than a church preschool Christmas program!

[lionfamily1999]

Hmmm, am I the only one that thought that hsing preschool counted in this???

[tantechell]

I agree that sometimes it is good to have a preschoooler otherwise occupied, if the family can afford it, a good private preschool is fine...for a day or two a week,but I personally would not send any of ours to a public school kindergarten, Audry said it perfectly!!!

[easyasxyz]

I think it depends on the child and the family. Our son has gone to private preschool for several mornings a week, and has enjoyed it on that limited basis. I like it because he can play with other kids his age since most of his peers are in preschool (not home with mom) in our community. I don't think he needs it at all since we do lots of learning and fun stuff at home too. I'm not sure if/when I'll send his two younger sisters, largely b/c of cost.

[In the Rain]

I put other because I think it depends on lots of factors. In a learning rich home, I say preschool is unnecessary and sometimes harmful. What I mean by learning rich - a print rich environment with lots of books, magazines, etc, lots of gross motor and fine motor play, interaction with others, inquiry, adults that talk with them and listen, etc. I think most homes with engaged parents can be learning rich.

 

However, in learning deprived homes, preschool may be a benefit. That is originally where preschool came from - helping those with disadvantaged home environments catch up. A learning deprived home is one where adults are not engaged with the children, there is very little reading material for the children, screen time is a substitute for activity and engagement. It can be endemic or it can be just a season.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I have no doubt that most kids love preschool, but I think it is better for them to be home, as long as the home is not a deprived environment. I think my elementary aged kids would have a lot of fun in school too. The same reasons dh and I chose to homeschool now applied to the preschool years as well.

[Whereneverever]

Depends on the child. My oldest was so needy and intense and on all the time that I needed the year of preschool she went to so I could have some hours of meeting all of #2s needs. I never thought we'd do preschool, but we needed it for that season.

[Cindyg]

We had a really good experience in preschool for three years from age four to six. This was before I decided to homeschool, and it was very easy to slip into homeschool after that.

 

My son had some developmental issues (shyness, late talker, no interest in other kids, wouldn't hold a pencil, stuff like that) and the carefully-selected preschool was very helpful in bringing him along.

 

We read so many posts on this board about how to get the preschoolers out of your hair. It is so nice to have them in an environment especially designed for them, where THEY are the important thing that's going on, not the one in the way.

 

So, it depends on the situation.

 

I am certainly NOT in favor of government mandated preschool for everyone!

[sewingmama]

I voted 'depend on the child"

 

If you have a "crazy" child and no family support or babysitters it may be very beneficial for the emotional health of the mother to be able to take time out.

 

Secondly I live in a poor socio-economic area - there are many,many cases where it the circumstances of the child mean preschool is a much better place to be then at home.

 

My 4yo goes to preschool -3 mornings a week. It is play based - they don't focus on academics at all - just play, arts and crafts and stories and singing. The reason I put her in was because we live in a rural area with little opportunity for appropriate socialisation. There are no neigbourhood kids for my children to play with, at our church my kids are the youngest kids by a few years there are no other children their age and my DD has two younger brothers and no sisters and her cousins live in other States. She desperately wanted some little girls her own age to play and around here pre-school was the only place for her to meet them.

 

I plan to put my 3yo in preschool as soon as he turns 4 - he is not as social as his sister and could get by without close aged playmates - but he is totally excited about all the activities at preschool that he sees his sister doing and I don't have the heart to say no to him when I said yes to his sister and he really wants to go.

 

I have no idea if I will send my baby (17 months now) to preschool - I guess it depends how noisy he is while I try to homeschool the older two LOL.

 

I agree with PP - I would not send a child who did not want to go

[Ellie]

That dc enjoy preschool doesn't mean it's really good for them.

[jld]

Would you like to elaborate on that, Ellie?

[texasmama]

I sent my three youngest kids to preschool. My youngest dd went to preschool (on a part time basis) for the first two years I homeschooled my boys. She loved it, and I was able to ease into homeschooling without a 2 or 3 year old. (I know many moms do it with younger kids - I was relieved to have just the boys to focus on.) My three yougest kids all attended a small, church-run preschool which was wonderful. It was a wonderful experience for all three of them and I don't regret it.:001_smile:

[CLHCO]

That dc enjoy preschool doesn't mean it's really good for them.

 

:iagree:

My older two daughters loved it, it was a great Montessori preschool, and I thought they were very privileged at the time to go to such a great preschool. I worked there part time to help afford the best preschool in town.

 

I have to say, it was not only unnecessary in the long run, but I did have to undo some thinking when we started to homeschool - both an authority of mom (the assumption that their teacher's way of doing things was better than mine because, after all, I sent them to learn from her), and dependency on friends to what is a cool behavior. Although they were six when I started homeshooling, some patterns were starting in this direction that I never had to deal with in their younger siblings who did not attend.

 

That said, I can see how a parent would have different goals for a child where what I wrote above wouldn't matter, and under some circumstances, preschool can be a better alternative for children who are otherwise terribly disadvantaged at home, as well as a difference in how some preschools are run. I understand that a few are still just "fun a couple days a week", but those are getting more rare. The preschool my daughters went to was 5 days a week and taught with specific goals, not just playing, even though it was in a Montessori style.

 

I am going to go against the bulk of the thread and admit I still voted "no", because I *personally* don't think it's beneficial in the current most common format that "prepares" students for institutionalized settings, believing myself that children are better off gaining their identity within a family. To the second point, children who are disadvantaged make it only the lesser of two unfortunate circumstances, not suddenly a "good" thing.

[Ellie]

Would you like to elaborate on that, Ellie?

It was just a thought. Some people say preschool is good for their dc because the dc enjoy it, but it's possible that the dc are learning behaviors that are not good. Interacting with parents/grandparents and older siblings is better for the littles than being around other littles and adults who are not related to them.

 

JMHO, of course. :-)

[Tap]

Depends on the child.

 

DD4 loves preschool. I love that she goes to preschool because she is so much happier when she is going there. We aim for a few days a week but part of that is daycare because I am at work. They do 'preschool' for a few hours in the a.m. and then the rest of the day is both structured/unstructured play.

 

I don't think that it is necessary for most kids but for kids like her, it definitely helps with Everyone's sanity.

 

She is the type of kid who is constantly in motion. She likes to be kept busy and I just can't meet that demand.

 

I really wish she had a sibling her age to play with, but my other kids are a bit too old for her to 'buddy around' with.