Poll-

[...................]

Are you over 36 and not particularly interested in making friends with mothers who are 28 and younger?

[Danestress]

I really try to have friends in different age groups. I do have a friend who just turned 28 (I'm 40) and she's probably my youngest friend, but I have no adversion to more. I also have much older friends. Sometimes I have more in common with women nearer to me in age, but I guess commonality isn't the only criteria, in my mind, for friendship.

[Jennifer in NH]

I'm 43, but since my oldest child is still only 7, most of the mothers i know who have children around the ages of my kids are much younger..no idea if they are under 28 or not. i never ask and I am really bad at guessing!

[Colleen]

Are you over 36 and not particularly interested in making friends with mothers who are 28 and younger?

 

How did you happen upon the ages 36 and 28? Are you asking in general if mothers who are a bit more mature (age-wise) and/or have older children prefer friendships with women who are at a similar stage in life? My friends' ages cover a wide range ~ and in some cases, I don't even know their ages. I voted "other", btw.

[Alice]

I am 36 and have women friends of all ages. We have 8 women in our tiny (75 members at most) church who are pregnant this year. Many are young first time moms so I'm actually starting a new Mom's book study/fellowship group in May.

 

I'm not sure where your question is coming from, but I do know that I have really really appreciated the friendship of women who are older than me. And although I hate thinking of myself as "older" at 36, I know that I do have experiences that hopefully younger women and moms can benefit from. (And often I find that I benefit from their younger/different perspective also.)

[Oakblossoms]

I didn't answer the poll. But, I'm 31 and most people think I'm about 10 years younger. I guess I don't act like a grown up:tongue_smilie: My female acquaintances and friends are of a wide age range. I just prefer married with children. I have some single friends and it's often hard to hang out with them.

 

So many people are having children when they are older that I'm often the one with the older children. I would prefer our children are a compatible age and that the mother is similar to me. I don't care about her age.

[JFSinIL]

I'm almost 49 ....everyone around here with kids my age is at least 10 years younger. The 28-yr-olds are young enough to be my kids (had I had kids early enough ;) I have neighbors two doors down whose son is 1 year behind mine in highschool. The dad JUST celebrated his 30th b'day!!!!!!!!!

 

I am imaging all you wtm'ers as also 48 and with kids my age. Do not destroy my illusion!

 

JFS the Deluded One.

[Remudamom]

Eeks! My friend that I hang out the most with is 19 years younger than me.

[Sarah in FL]

I'm 41 with a 3 month old baby (and 4 other kids ranging in age from 8 to 14). I am friendly with the other moms of babies at church (and there are quite a few of us), but the reality is I don't really have time to do baby playdates, etc. with the younger moms. I'd love to, but with homeschooling and all the older kids' activities, I'm just not able to.

 

Like some others said, I enjoy relationships with women of all ages, but do find myself mostly with others in my stage of life.

 

Sarah

[Mamagistra]

Age means little to me, though I still awaken most days believing that I'm 19. :D

[Crissy]

I voted other because I am much more interested whether or not I like her than a friend's age. The age range of our children, or other commonalities don't matter so much, either. What would we have to talk about if we were exactly alike?

[GailV]

I am imaging all you wtm'ers as also 48 and with kids my age. Do not destroy my illusion!

 

JFS the Deluded One.

 

This sounds so much like me. Everyone here is my age, but taller and with better hair. Please don't bother to tell me otherwise.

 

I had my older dd at age 35. So, I hung out with other moms who also had toddlers, no matter the age of the mom.

 

These days I have no idea what age group I'm hanging around with. We're in some things with adults our age, but all their kids are way older, so it's sticky to get together with them since they don't have to worry about babysitters. And other social things, well, I just don't think about how old the other adults are. It's just not on my radar.

 

One nice thing about my online friendships is that a lot of times age isn't a factor, since it's hard to determine. Y'all have no idea what grey hair I have, and that the skin along my chin line is starting to sag, and I have no idea that you DON'T have grey hair and saggy skin (or that my voice is really, really grating). I'm grateful that I get to "know" people that I might not have otherwise had a chance to hang out with.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

but members of my "homeschooling moms" group are all much older than 28 - I think the youngest is 40. My younger friends share other interests with me.

 

I'll have to think about why that is. Interesting question.

[Tutor]

I will be 36 next month, so I hope that it is okay that I answered. :D

 

I put "Other" because i honestly have no idea how old any of my friends are. Friends I've known since high school I know ages of because we're all about the same age, but friends since I've left college, no clue. I know when their birthdays are, but it never occurs to me to ask them their age or tell them mine unless it is relevant to a specific conversation. Interests, life experiences, diversity, circumstances, geography and other random things seem to dictate who I become friends with. My best friend and I met because our husbands went to a conference together and have the same first name. Seriously, that's how they started talking and ended up introducing the wives to each other one day and she and I have been best friends ever since. :001_smile: I have a ballpark idea of how old she is, but I don't know exactly.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Age means little to me, though I still awaken most days believing that I'm 19. :D

 

Yes! That's me. I'm pretty ageless in my dreams, for example. Sometimes I'm still in high school. I have friends of all ages, and it usually have very little to do with age, kids/no kids, marital status, even gender.

[Tess in the Burbs]

I am 35 so not quite old enough for your poll :tongue_smilie:

 

One of my close friends is now 41 and her other best friend will be 30 this year. I know they have been friends for at least 5 years. BUT the younger one has older kids...so the friendship worked well. sure the younger one was YOUNG, but she could give advice on kids to the older one!

 

I think it depends on the mom and whether you enjoy her company. I have always enjoyed my older friends for their wisdom and patience. And I am sure glad when I was 28 they didn't dismiss me for being 'young'. some people are more mature than their 'age'.

[Snickerdoodle]

I have friends of all ages. I find this question bizarre.

[Doran]

I voted "Other". I wish you'd included an option for being over 36 (why that age, anyhow?) and WANTING, or at least not specifically avoiding or being shocked by the idea of becoming friends with someone almost 10 years younger. Friendship is not age dependant, in my world.

[J'Marie]

Gosh I have friends of varying ages, sometimes I realize i am closer to their childrens age than their or vs versa....

j'marie

[Susan in TX]

I really don't have much opportunity or time for friendships at this point in my life but I have found that the friendships I do have tend to be with women who have children the same age as my younger kids. I'm 39, had my first child when I was 20 and I'm expecting another baby in June so I definately don't fit in with the Mom's I know who have teenagers. They are all about ten years older than me, and they have just teenagers...it's a different world. So I think I'd probably have more in common with a 28 year old, and these days I feel more like a 28 year old than a 39 year old anyway.

 

The funny thing is that when I was younger and my older children were little, all of my friends who had kids the same age as mine were at least 10 years older than me.

 

Susan in TX

[Jenny in Atl]

Age means little to me, though I still awaken most days believing that I'm 19. :D

 

ditto... well, till I actually try to get out of the bed. :tongue_smilie:

I love having friends of all ages, young and old!

[lovemyboys]

Age means little to me, though I still awaken most days believing that I'm 19. :D

 

 

So, age does mean little to me, I certainly don't "feel" mine! I love having friendships with kids and great-grandmas and all inbetween. Each friendship has a unique perspective and value, it's precious on its own without being in some narrow guidelines of which group or age we "should" be friends with. kwim?

 

So, I voted "other."

[abbeyej]

I'm surprised by your question, Sandra. Have you had trouble finding friends among older women?

 

I was also (I suppose still am) a much younger mom than most in my locale/socio-economic-educational bracket. Since I've had children, most of my female friends have been 8-20 years older than me. And quite often, they don't know my age until I reveal it (by expressing ignorance of some movie that came out before I could write my name, etc). They just assume I look young -- or, then again, maybe I just look 10 years older than I am and need to find a better moisturizer. ;)

 

I haven't found age to be an issue in my circles at all.

[abbeyej]

I'm pretty ageless in my dreams, for example. Sometimes I'm still in high school.

 

Uh, Pam? Aren't those called "nightmares"? :D

[elegantlion]

I'm almost 41 (how the Heck did that happen) and my ds is 10. Most of my friends are in their 30's just beause that is who I hang out with.

 

My dh is older and as a couple it's sometimes hard to hang out with younger families. My dh is focused on retirement and their dh might be still heavily invested in their job.

 

I don't really care how old or young someone is, I don't card anyone to hang out.

 

I do find as my dh gets older and his arthritis gets worse we have more in common with my parents. :D

[Karen sn]

Age means little to me, though I still awaken most days believing that I'm 19. :D

 

My boyfriend thinks of me as a "younger woman" - he is 40, I am 35!

But everyone thinks I look to be in my 20's.

I forget how old I am most days.

"Age schmage," is what I say.

[Melissa in NC]

I am 40 and my friends range from 30 to 45. Our age is irrelevent. What is important is what we have in common, our kids.

[Andie]

Age means little to me, though I still awaken most days believing that I'm 19. :D

 

Except, in my delusion, I hover around 17/18. I hope you're not too old to hang out with me, now. ;)

[5kidsforME]

I voted other because I am much more interested whether or not I like her than a friend's age. The age range of our children, or other commonalities don't matter so much, either. What would we have to talk about if we were exactly alike?

 

This is why I chose other. :iagree:

[claussenpc]

Same here, I am 43 and most of the HS mothers I know have children the same age or older than mine.

Age is not the issue for me. Personality, interests, and life priorities are what define whether I persue or avoid developing a relationship with someone.

[5kidsforME]

Are you over 36 and not particularly interested in making friends with mothers who are 28 and younger?

 

What was your answer? :001_smile:

[Melissa in FL]

I'm forty, and I would say most of my friends are much younger than me. Dh and I had kids later, my youngest is 4, so we have to have friends of all ages. Many people I know who have a 4 yr old are in thier late 20's or early 30's. I would say we have a mix of friends all ages. Actually, I don't know the ages of most of my friends, I don't think it matters.

Melissa

[Harriet Vane]

If there is a meeting of the minds and hearts, I am glad to have that person as my friend. I don't really see why age would have anything to do with it.

[Andie]

I'm turning 35 this summer, so I don't quite qualify.

 

I do remember, though, being a very young mom of two and three kids and feeling out of place with many moms of kids the same ages as mine -- many of them were 5 or even 10 years older than me. Actually, that's not quite right. I didn't feel out of place at all. *Others* were constantly commenting on my age, asking if they were my siblings, etc., so it became uncomfortable for me. (Don't get that sibling question with this second "set"...LOL) But that's the only time age has been something I've noticed, really.

 

I've always seemed to gravitate toward people older than me, but as others have said, age isn't a factor in "picking" friends. It's common interests and a warped enough sense of humor that I need. And a chocolate enabler. :-)

[Audrey]

Are you over 36 and not particularly interested in making friends with mothers who are 28 and younger?

 

 

There's a big difference between physical age and mental age. I prefer mature company, no matter the physical years they have behind them. ;)

[amy g.]

I'll be 42 this summer, and I love my friends of all ages.

 

I don't even care what age their kids are!

[myfunnybunch]

I don't ask how old people are before I befriend them because I don't think it matters.

 

That said, I do find that typically the friends that I "click" with more easily are around my own age/life stage. (I'm 41.)

 

Now that I think of it, I just now realized that in regards to one of my dearest friends, someone I've known for three years, I have NO idea how old she is.

 

Cat

[Joanne]

I'll be the first, and perhaps only. I'm 42.

 

I'll happily have a level of relationship with people of all ages. Some of my "poker buds" are quite young.

 

But real, close friends? They are all late 30's and up. There are seasons of life, with kids, marriage, aging bodies, focus, etc. I would not feel a close bond of friendship with women in the 20's and early 30's stage of life. It's not that I'd say Oh! We can't be friends, you are 27! But it probably just wouldn't progress into friendship.

[Philothea]

This thread makes me sad and happy at the same time.

 

For one, it is very hard for me to make friends. I usually tend to like friends who have the same theological position as us. They are mostly older but have children the same age as mine. It is kind of sad, but we're never invited to the birthday parties or the cookouts. This could be one of the reasons why.

 

I'm glad that some of older ladies are open to giving us younger ones a chance to be friends with them. I personally don't think twice about having friends older than me (mid 20's).

[mcconnellboys]

I'm almost 48, but still have a ten year old. I do things with mothers who have children who are still pre-school age and mothers of teens (I also have a teen). I'm not good at guessing age and don't generally ever ask someone their age. I don't really care about age. If we are capable of having interesting conversation, I don't really care how old/young a person is..... I would think interests/intellect are more important than age....

[Mrs Mungo]

I am 35 and am friends with women both much younger and much older than I am.

[WTMindy]

Age doesn't matter to me, it is more if we have things in common. I don't have a lot of time to invest in new relationships, but I'm open if one comes up-no matter what the age!

[5kidsforME]

This is why I chose other. :iagree:

 

I guess I should have read the question! I am 32 so I should not have answered.

[homeschoolmom]

:D

Age means little to me, though I still awaken most days believing that I'm 19. :D

 

 

What she said.

[Mom4Jesus]

For me age is just a number. Since we are eternal beings, age really doesn't matter (for most things of course). I'm thankful for whatever friends God brings into my life and am not at all concerned about age. I'm 44, but had friends in church that were 20 somethings for awhile when I was in MOPS. I have a dear friend now who is probably 70+, I've never asked her age. On top of that the Bible says that the older women should teach the younger ones (i believe it goes both ways though too on various issues). We're just supposed to love people anyway, whatever age. I also enjoy getting different perspective on things.

[Holly IN]

I am 35 and I have friends of all ages. Most of my very close friends are in their 40's though due to the fact that we have the same ages of kids.

 

I have some (something 20's ) friends as well but not as much.

 

Holly

[SnowWhite]

Like Snickerdoodle, I find the question bizarre. My friends range from ladies older than my mother to young women who are newly married. It has more to do with a meeting of the minds than age. It makes me sad that many of the "younger moms" at church pass *us* over for invitations, perhaps believing I'm an old fuddy duddy.:001_huh:

[PrairieAir]

I almost picked the second to last option. It's not really that I'm too busy or that I don't want close friends, I just have never had many close friends. I have friends I really like a lot, but I don't know if you could say they are close. We don't get together and braid each other's hair or anything:lol: I enjoy people, but I also enjoy my personal space and quiet time alone. Looking back through my life, I don't think I've ever had anyone I considered anywhere near as close as dh. He really is my best friend. Many of our good friends are our parents' age or older. I enjoy the company of some of the older dc's friends and some of our older friends' kids (in their 20s) as well. I don't think age makes much difference for me. I think I just have trouble letting people all the way in.

----

BTW, I am almost 37. The older friends I mentioned are in their 50s and 60s. I also really enjoy spending time with one of dh's grandmothers. She is 75 and there is so much to learn from her. One of dh's cousins is 26, and she is one of my favorite people in the world. We don't spend a lot of time together since we are both busy, but I always love being with her and her two young children.

[3lilreds in NC]

I've found that at least at my church, younger moms seem to be more interested in being friends with other younger moms, and not so much seeking friendships with older moms (I can't believe I qualify, because I belong to the "What? I'm not 19? Club, but I'm really almost 37). There are women seeking playgroups for ONLY their toddlers - no older kids allowed.

 

I have been blessed with friends of all ages. I know moms who are at a similar stage, and I know younger moms and older moms. I don't care how old you are, as long as we can enjoy being together. I *love* being friends with people who have BTDT and can tell me that my children have not really been possessed by aliens, and that "this too shall pass." It's nice to be able to reassure moms of younger kids of the same thing, from time to time. And, it's so wonderful to meet someone with similar interests, I don't ask their age.

 

BTW, I'm still looking for a fellow headbanger friend. It would be good if you also liked Chinese food. :D

[Kelli in TN]

If someone can put up with me and my weirdness why would I even care what their age is? I found the question odd.