Poll: Words you're not allowed to say... or allowed...

[SonshineLearner]

Ok, So, I got kinda ticked last night... after my husband... again... was shouting "Shut your Pie Hole" to my daughter. I ended up deciding that I'd make a poster of all the words that our family COULD say... that I think are just crass. I actually was joking that we could all just start saying these words all the time. BUT, for special... we can say "Shut your Pumpkin Pie Hole this month."

 

In my family growing up, we couldn't say: Butt, Fart, Shut-Up, Pie-Hole, Crap, or anything that sounded "crass" to my mom and dad. They also didn't curse, so of course they never said anything that was a curse word. (My dad only said a couple of words like "Flub":)

 

I'm sure I can't think of all the words/phrases... less than cursing, but more than what I was allowed..

 

What is your family allowed to say? (And, I understand.... all famiies are just different :)

[JenneinCA]

Pie Hole?

 

What is a pie hole? A mouth?

[kalanamak]

Pie Hole?

 

What is a pie hole? A mouth?

 

where do you put your pies?

[littlebug42]

The only one really on the list that I really forbid is shut up as I just feel it is disrespectful. I imaging shut your pie hole would fall into the category but no one has ever tried that one.

 

I am currently working on diminishing the use of the word crap but unfortunately, I tend to say it as I have eliminated the "f" word from my vocabulary and crap has kind of taken its place. I am working on it with my girls and myself though.

[JenneinCA]

Yes, a mouth.

 

But why would it be a bad thing?

[CAMom]

Well, I finally convinced my 5 year old to quit saying "da*n it" when he was frustrated. I wonder where he heard that.:blushing:

[extendedforecast]

Well I just messed up your poll because I can't read, apparently. I thought it said, "Which words CAN'T you say?"

Those words are shut up, crap, the pie hole one, plus words like stupid, moron, dork, idiot, etc.

[Aggie]

Yes, a mouth.

 

But why would it be a bad thing?

 

IMO, it's not the phrase itself, but it's usually spoken with complete disrespect.

 

I prefer a gentle, "be quite" to "shut (anything)". Just personal preference.:001_smile:

[Aggie]

Well, I finally convinced my 5 year old to quit saying "da*n it" when he was frustrated. I wonder where he heard that.:blushing:

:lol:

 

When dc were 2 and 3, our Christmas tree was HUGE. So big that we had to tie it up. Before we got it tied up, though, I went into the living room to see the tree had fallen down. But I only saw one dd. I thought the 2yo was under the tree, got scared, and yelled, "$h1t!!"

 

For months afterwards, every time something fell, 3yodd would say, "thit.":blushing:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't encourage any of those words - even from myself because I don't think they are respectful of the people you are talking to. But I've used them on occasion and I wouldn't discipline my kids for using them or anything like that. But my kids don't tend to use them because we don't tend to use them for the most part.

[sbgrace]

Well, I've got a "thing" about speaking respectfully and many of those sound disrespectful. Of course anything can be said with a tone or underlying attitude of disregard for the other person. Still, at their base level many (and especially the shut...ones) are disrespectful and wouldn't fly here.

[nmoira]

Oops.. I got my vote backwards. We don't say "Shut up" or variations thereof, but the others are OK. We focus more on tone and intent than on individual words.

[myfunnybunch]

Well, I finally convinced my 5 year old to quit saying "da*n it" when he was frustrated. I wonder where he heard that.:blushing:

 

Mine too. Sigh.... I said it ONCE. ONCE!

 

Cat

[Hannah]

I agree that anything that is said disrespectfully is not acceptable.

The actual words don't matter as much as the tone and intention of what is being said.

[Miss Sherry]

Ok, So, I got kinda ticked last night... after my husband... again... was shouting "Shut your Pie Hole" to my daughter. I ended up deciding that I'd make a poster of all the words that our family COULD say... that I think are just crass. I actually was joking that we could all just start saying these words all the time. BUT, for special... we can say "Shut your Pumpkin Pie Hole this month."

 

In my family growing up, we couldn't say: Butt, Fart, Shut-Up, Pie-Hole, Crap, or anything that sounded "crass" to my mom and dad. They also didn't curse, so of course they never said anything that was a curse word. (My dad only said a couple of words like "Flub":)

 

I'm sure I can't think of all the words/phrases... less than cursing, but more than what I was allowed..

 

What is your family allowed to say? (And, I understand.... all famiies are just different :)

While I was growing up just about ANY word that sounded even a little crass was not allowed to be said by my Mom. I lived with just my Dad for several years and he was a little more lenient but not by much. It has been an adjustment to be around my husbands looser style of using crass language and even after all of these years it still makes me cringe but I try not to say anything about it for the most part.

I do not like to hear my children use curse words.

[Parrothead]

We don't say "shut up" or "shut your pie hole."

[Carrie12345]

Dh and I say whatever we want :tongue_smilie:, and the kids aren't explicitly forbidden from saying any of the above, except for maybe 'crap'. For some reason, that one gets me if it's coming out of their pie holes. ;) (BTW, I don't think they know that one. I don't think it's a big deal, but I sure won't go out of my way to teach it to them!)

 

I have been trying to break my 8yo of the "dang it" habit, but mostly because she says it in such a way that it almost always sounds like "**** it", and I wouldn't want others to think that's what she's saying.

[nono]

I must be the only mother on WTM that doesn't mind "Shut up." It is only said here in ANGER and FRUSTRATION when someone is annoying another to death with their incessant yammering! Lest you think that I am only talking about my children, I can yammer with the best of them. :)

 

It also probably stems from everyone in this household having acute hearing, while somehow being immune to their own volume.

 

That being said, it is used infrequently. It's saved for when one of us is at the end of our rope, and when one reaches that point, the others respect that we've transgressed them enough for the phrase to come out and we get silent!

 

Any of the other words on your list aren't used, unless someone is making a joke. Like the day we all walked out of the house and a skunk had just skunked something. As we stood on the porch, my dd said to the dog, "Hey dog, did you just fart?" That's OK in my book...but she can't ever use it in regular conversation around here.

[Pamela H in Texas]

We generally don't say fart, but "pooter" and it is said pretty regularly (we're free with bodily functions and discussion of such at home; everyone is careful in public). Fart isn't off-limits, but it's just rarely said.

 

The only person you can say "shut up" to is the dog though. I don't care if a 10yo tells a dog to shut up.

 

Honestly, we've never put a rule to any of those words though (or actually, any others). The only rule in our home has been RESPECT: respect of others, respect of self, respect of property. Because of that, those things and worst because off-limits without rules because 1) usually it's a situation where if you were being respectful, you could have expressed yourself better and 2) because since some people in public consider them off-limits, it's disrespectful to use them around them. So yes, we consider certain words and their substitutions "bad words" and my kids have even said, "I'm not allowed to say that."

 

I have to say that *I* think hearing substitutions from a kid's mouth is nasty. I did decide when my kids were itty bitty (like 3 and newborn) that I didn't want my kids talking like that after hearing my stepdaughter (who had been adopted by her maternal grandparents so we weren't raising in any way) using substitutes in just about every sentence, often a couple per sentence. YUCK! So HAD my kids not been soooooooooo into watching what they said, I most certainly would have curbed it, limited it, or forbidden it.

Edited October 24, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[angela in ohio]

From you list, only fart and shut your pie-hole are allowed in our home. We also say butt, which scandalizes some. The rest are very, very seriously opposed in our home.

 

Shut up is not allowed for children, and is used very, very infrequently. It is the "big gun." If that comes out of momma or daddy's mouth, everyone knows it means something serious.

 

We have a lot of made up exclamations and threats of fake/cartoon violence. "Shut your pie-hole" falls into that realm. I use the same technique my father did (some have told me it's Southern) of turning whatever they are fighting over, complaining about, etc. into a verb and threatening them with it ("Well, I'm going to cookie the both of you if you don't stop fighting over it.")

[Old Dominion Heather]

I messed up the poll, too. Misread the question as words you CAN'T say.

 

I don't like the boys to tell each other to shut up, but I don't think I'd punish for it. I would probably intevene at that point though.

[MissKNG]

In my family growing up, we couldn't say: Butt, Fart, Shut-Up, Pie-Hole, Crap, or anything that sounded "crass" to my mom and dad.

 

I was raised the same way!!! We had alternate words for things (fart = whooper, butt = reary).

 

I also don't let my girls say words that sound "crass" either. We say toot and hiney. And I use quiet or settle down instead of shut up.

[elegantlion]

Really in our house, shut your pie hole is the only one I've never heard. We try not to use shut up, unless it's in a Stacey London sort of way.

 

I tend not to filter words. My ds has heard he cuss, I've heard my dh cuss. IMO there's a difference between saying those words in the moment or towards an event, or using them against other people. We try to deal with the prevailing attitude in which the word was spoken, not the word itself.

[NanceXToo]

I discourage my kids from saying "shut up." None of us have EVER used the pie hole phrase anyway lol.

 

I will let them say "darn" but not dam*.

 

They can say "heck" but not "hell."

 

I won't let them say "oh Jesus!" or anything like that (we're not Christian btw) but they can say "Jeeze/Geez!"

 

They can say "butt" but not the "A word."

 

No cursing.

 

They can't say "crap" (although the other day my almost 5 y/o did say "Alexa left a crap in the toilet!" and I had to say, "Ben! Don't say that word!" followed by "Alexa! Will you learn to FLUSH THE TOILET ALREADY?!")

 

:)

[dripdripsplat]

They can't say "crap" (although the other day my almost 5 y/o did say "Alexa left a crap in the toilet!" and I had to say, "Ben! Don't say that word!" followed by "Alexa! Will you learn to FLUSH THE TOILET ALREADY?!")

 

:)

 

:lol: Hilarious!

 

I think the only word my kids get away with is "poop", but they sure do use it ad nauseaum sometimes.

[BigMamaBird]

We're allowed Dang, Geez and Heck.

 

My family does have some original sayings though. "What the cat hair?" and "Oh frog feathers!" are some of the favorites.

[FO4UR]

It's a generational thing here. My mom wasn't allowed to say "toot"...she let us say "toot," but not "fart." What is the difference??? idk

 

I make generalized rules...we don't talk about bathroom issues unless you need to go/can't go or otherwise have a biological reason to be speaking of such things. So when my 7yo announces, "I farted" with a proud look of joy I reply with a "Do you need to sit on the potty?"...which using the word "potty" and asking such a toddler-ish question gets my point across that only babies get attention for their bathroom habits.

 

I do talk about how some words are stronger than others, and it's unwise to say them. Some words, like a22, were at one time only referring to donkeys but now mean something totally different. I let them use the word when reading Milo Winter's Aesop fables for ex, but not in everyday language.

 

It's good to teach kids to have a filter on their mouths...exactly what words are acceptable varies.

[LarlaB]

Pie Hole?

 

What is a pie hole? A mouth?

 

 

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- pie. :D

[Jenny in Atl]

Odd one out here... no words were/are off limits, but there is always a time & a place, and learning that is the hard part. My folks were liberal with language, and I've raised my kiddos the same. I just stress trying to find an artful word to use in mixed company, when angry or frustrated.

[stripe]

For months afterwards, every time something fell, 3yodd would say, "thit.":blushing:

My mother was a bit startled to hear one of my kids say "fork" because the child didn't pronounce the R very forcefully. Ahem.

 

I was discussing toilet humor with my mother, who suggested it was hilarious because it was "taboo." I asked -- where's the taboo? Someone's always talking about bathroom stuff around here. I wish it were taboo!

[Supertechmom]

I must be the only mother on WTM that doesn't mind "Shut up." It is only said here in ANGER and FRUSTRATION when someone is annoying another to death with their incessant yammering! Lest you think that I am only talking about my children, I can yammer with the best of them. :)

 

It also probably stems from everyone in this household having acute hearing, while somehow being immune to their own volume.

 

That being said, it is used infrequently. It's saved for when one of us is at the end of our rope, and when one reaches that point, the others respect that we've transgressed them enough for the phrase to come out and we get silent!

 

Any of the other words on your list aren't used, unless someone is making a joke. Like the day we all walked out of the house and a skunk had just skunked something. As we stood on the porch, my dd said to the dog, "Hey dog, did you just fart?" That's OK in my book...but she can't ever use it in regular conversation around here.

 

Really in our house, shut your pie hole is the only one I've never heard. We try not to use shut up, unless it's in a Stacey London sort of way.

 

I tend not to filter words. My ds has heard he cuss, I've heard my dh cuss. IMO there's a difference between saying those words in the moment or towards an event, or using them against other people. We try to deal with the prevailing attitude in which the word was spoken, not the word itself.

 

Odd one out here... no words were/are off limits, but there is always a time & a place, and learning that is the hard part. My folks were liberal with language, and I've raised my kiddos the same. I just stress trying to find an artful word to use in mixed company, when angry or frustrated.

 

:iagree:

I'm the same. To me, it's the tone of use, not the word. Oh Cr@p! Means the same as Oh S#$t AND the famous "John Brown",, "Dang it and host of other substitutions. The tone behind them is all the same.

 

Disrespectful is disrespectful no matter how "innocent" the phrase. We try really hard to teach our kids WHEN the words are correct and are not. Not a list of forbidden words. The words themselves have a place/time where they are acceptable.

[Daisy]

I don't encourage any of those words - even from myself because I don't think they are respectful of the people you are talking to. But I've used them on occasion and I wouldn't discipline my kids for using them or anything like that. But my kids don't tend to use them because we don't tend to use them for the most part.

 

This! :iagree: Though I would make my children apologize for saying shut up or shut your pie hole to each other because it is rude.

 

And I'm a lot more likely to type WTHeck then I am to say it in real life. LOL. Guess I'm just not used to hearing it.

[Farrar]

Of this list, fart is a word that describes an action. I don't know a better word for it. It's a normal (if annoying) fact of life that occasionally must be addressed, so I see no problem with it as a word.

 

Shut up is something that's directed at another person and is generally disrespectful. I won't say it's never been said, but I'd rather it not be.

 

The rest are words said in frustration or anger. They're generally not directed at anyone so they don't bother me... though I don't know that my kids say them much. I don't find them especially crude either - I know some older people do, but it's hard for me to get fussed about a word like "darn" or "crap." Besides, I think people need a word or two for expressing annoyance. Kids are no different.

[Mandy in TN]

Dh and I say whatever we want :tongue_smilie:, and the kids aren't explicitly forbidden from saying any of the above

This would be us with a period at the end.

 

I must be the only mother on WTM that doesn't mind "Shut up."

I am here to assure you that you are not.;)

 

I tend not to filter words. My ds has heard he cuss, I've heard my dh cuss. IMO there's a difference between saying those words in the moment or towards an event, or using them against other people. We try to deal with the prevailing attitude in which the word was spoken, not the word itself.

Here you go. :iagree:Well said.

 

Odd one out here... no words were/are off limits, but there is always a time & a place, and learning that is the hard part. My folks were liberal with language, and I've raised my kiddos the same. I just stress trying to find an artful word to use in mixed company, when angry or frustrated.

Shakespeare is great for these. That can actually be a selling point for Shakespeare. Read more Shakespeare to learn really entertaining ways to profess anger and injury and to learn to point out bad behavior with higher vocabulary, sarcasm, and a subtlety that alludes little ears. LOL (Also, while a simple you're being a butthead from a sibling will seldom be productive, a well-delivered Shakespearean insult is (in addition to laughter) more likely to produce a change in behavior.

 

Mandy

[elise1mds]

I refuse to forbid any language on the basis that my children are contrary and WILL say it if it's forbidden. That being said, I don't like it when my son throws the word crap around for no good reason, which he likes to do. If I hear it more than a couple times a day, he starts getting in trouble for it. 'Shut up' is also used only in extreme frustration here, so it doesn't get used often, and even then a good 'LOOK' from me is typically enough to get the kids to change their tune to, "Will you PLEASE be quiet???" The rest of them don't bug me in the least. I guess I'm sort of somewhere between conservative and liberal. I don't really plan to forbid cussing when they get to be that age, either, though again I plan to limit it to appropriate situations. Might as well let the kids be themselves. I cuss on occasion and so does DH, and I refuse to be hypocritical. :)

[Willow]

Stupid.

[mytwomonkeys]

Well, I finally convinced my 5 year old to quit saying "da*n it" when he was frustrated. I wonder where he heard that.:blushing:

 

 

oh my gosh, my little boy (age 6) went through a da*m it phase too. my husband and i don't cuss at all, and i about died when i heard him saying this! i still have no idea where he learned it, but he's finally passed it now.

 

as for language, i'm sure there are words i can't stand probably. but i tend to focus more-so on my child's attitude than a specific word. if their attitude is nasty, then it doesn't matter what their saying because it is going to come across as ugly, ykwim?

Edited October 24, 2010 by mytwomonkeys

[Teachin'Mine]

Well I just messed up your poll because I can't read, apparently. I thought it said, "Which words CAN'T you say?"

Those words are shut up, crap, the pie hole one, plus words like stupid, moron, dork, idiot, etc.

 

Oh no - me too!!! :tongue_smilie: No wonder all the other choices had way more votes. :lol:

[Teachin'Mine]

:lol:

 

When dc were 2 and 3, our Christmas tree was HUGE. So big that we had to tie it up. Before we got it tied up, though, I went into the living room to see the tree had fallen down. But I only saw one dd. I thought the 2yo was under the tree, got scared, and yelled, "$h1t!!"

 

For months afterwards, every time something fell, 3yodd would say, "thit.":blushing:

 

:lol:

[Storm Bay]

Although shut up was forbidden to us when I was growing up and we passed wind (didn't even know the word fart for many years!!!) we do use those terms in our house. Yes, they are crass. No, I don't like them. However, as perimenopause progressed toward the menopausal years my teen habit of swearing started rearing its ugly head at certain times of the month. It's very hard to outlaw fart & shut up if harsher words sometimes come out of my mouth (and I APOLOGIZE for it.) I do use that as a teachable moment to share that it's better to never start swearing, because it can come back to plague even long after you think you've quit.

 

The interesting thing is that I normally don't swear and even my OBGyn doesn't use words like duh or fart in front of me because he's good at reading people & figures I'm not someone to use them. Sadly, duh has come back since my girls have started using it.

 

All of this said, once my eldest is in ps I plan to work on language around here. She's going as soon as we can get her in (thats from a post on the high school forum).

[JoJosMom]

This is a timely thread for me. Just last week I was working on my computer while my DD8 was working on her spelling. All was quiet until she blurted out, "Dam." Aghast, I turned around and asked, "WHAT did you say?" She looked at me, puzzled, and said "Dam. You know, a beaver's house. I couldn't remember at first." Then she asked, "What's so funny?"

 

So, to answer the OP, generally we try to keep it pretty clean around here. Which is necessary because Mama has a filthy mind!:blushing:

[Imprimis]

I don't like to hear "shut up," "shut your pie hole." I find those phrases very rude and I try to encourage my kids not to use them.

 

The words heck, crap, and most of the others on your list don't really bother me.

[Night Elf]

I voted for all of them, even other to cover words that aren't on that list. I personally don't have a problem with any of those, though I've never heard anyone outside of tv say 'shut your piehole'. Maybe that's a regional thing?

 

And what's wrong with geez? Gosh, I'm probably a person that would be heavily censored if those words are taboo. I grew up with my mom saying 'h*ll's bells' alot. I would just laugh and wonder why h*ll would have bells?? :tongue_smilie:

[katilac]

Ok, So, I got kinda ticked last night... after my husband... again... was shouting "Shut your Pie Hole" to my daughter.

 

Ask your dh to consider how he wants his dd to remember him when she grows up. My dad was known to use that same phrase, and I remember it well, with much anger and resentment. It's such a belittling phrase, imo, particularly if dd isn't allowed to use it back. Would he be angry if she told him to shut his pie hole? If so, why?

[lovetobehome]

I am trying to eradicate "darn it!" from MY vocabulary.

On a funny note, I taught my children never to use the word 'stupid.' My children commented to someone the other day that their child had used "The Bad S word" and you can imagine what they thought!

My children have never heard the REAL bad s word. Or many of the other 'bad' words. One of the perks of homeschooling.

[Renee in NC]

Odd one out here... no words were/are off limits, but there is always a time & a place, and learning that is the hard part. My folks were liberal with language, and I've raised my kiddos the same. I just stress trying to find an artful word to use in mixed company, when angry or frustrated.

 

Like:

 

Unintelligent Burro

Richard Cranium

Bovine Excrement

Gamefish Excrement

 

These are just some of the "artful words" my dh and oldest ds have come up with.

[MicheleinMN]

I need a re-do on the poll too, because I also read it as what are you NOT allowed to say...and therefore I voted incorrectly!

 

Most of the those listed are on our NOT allowed list in this house, but mom and dad do break the rules occasionally, as do the older teens, but usually in jest, not when mad or in normal conversation.