JAWM-PreK

[DawnM]

So the PreK where 5 year old goes......

JUST sent home a spirit week flyer.   We have NONE of the things needed.....I will see what I can pull together on Sun but I am not spending a large amount of $$ on these items!

JUST communicated last night that there is a lunch for parents on Wed of this coming week.   The school is almost 30 min. away and the luncheon is in the middle of their day so no way to combine drop off/pick up, AND I cannot take off Wed AND we are going to pick up college boy that day.....we should just not send him to school, right?   

FRUSTRATION!

Edited December 10, 2022 by DawnM

[Katy]

Ugh that stinks. DD4’s pre-k does the same thing. My theory is that they use the same calendar for every December and they know you can’t find anything now because of the pandemic, but that still doesn’t excuse no notice, especially for the lunch.  

On Thursday DH said, “Oh, try the farm store” after I took kids to two big box stores and the mall looking for more holiday gear. Sure enough, there were adult sized Santa hats there. 

IDK about Wednesday. I guess I’d ask the teacher what percentage of parents show up. Ours are still on Covid security so we’re not invited to stuff like that.

[DawnM]

22 minutes ago, Katy said:

Ugh that stinks. DD4’s pre-k does the same thing. My theory is that they use the same calendar for every December and they know you can’t find anything now because of the pandemic, but that still doesn’t excuse no notice, especially for the lunch.  

On Thursday DH said, “Oh, try the farm store” after I took kids to two big box stores and the mall looking for more holiday gear. Sure enough, there were adult sized Santa hats there. 

IDK about Wednesday. I guess I’d ask the teacher what percentage of parents show up. Ours are still on Covid security so we’re not invited to stuff like that.

I actually just bought a Santa hat, but it is adult sized.   He is 5.   I doubt he can fit it, but we will see.

Days:   Holiday socks, holiday headgear of some sort, candy cane costume of some sort, and ugly sweater day.   There is one more but I can't remember it at the moment.

I will hit the thrift store Sunday but today is full with our family holiday party that is 2 hours each way and we leave at 9am and usually don't get home until evening sometime.   

 

 

[Innisfree]

I completely agree about needing reasonable notice. Really, events like those ought to be on a school calendar available from the beginning of the year, but at least ten days or two weeks or so of notice is needed.

If going to the luncheon would work if it could be combined with picking the child up, I’d just bring him home afterwards. It’s pre-k. He can miss the afternoon. But it sounds like the luncheon just won’t work for you that day, so yes, if he’d be unhappy about your missing the event, I might just keep him home. I might ask the teacher if special stuff has been planned for the occasion, given the time of year. Will the kids be performing in some way, or something he’d be sad to miss?

[KungFuPanda]

Raid your Christmas decorations and just pin stuff onto what he owns. Holiday hat can be an ornament pinned to a hat he owns. Holiday socks is a bell pinned to socks. Ugly sweater is anything pinned to his sweater. Candy cane is any striped t-shirt or any white tshirt with red tape on it. Don’t buy anything he won’t wear again. Let him help. I’d probably keep him home on luncheon day if I couldn’t make it, but if I couldn’t make it then odds are keeping him home wouldn’t be an option.   

[DawnM]

17 minutes ago, Innisfree said:

I completely agree about needing reasonable notice. Really, events like those ought to be on a school calendar available from the beginning of the year, but at least ten days or two weeks or so of notice is needed.

If going to the luncheon would work if it could be combined with picking the child up, I’d just bring him home afterwards. It’s pre-k. He can miss the afternoon. But it sounds like the luncheon just won’t work for you that day, so yes, if he’d be unhappy about your missing the event, I might just keep him home. I might ask the teacher if special stuff has been planned for the occasion, given the time of year. Will the kids be performing in some way, or something he’d be sad to miss?

As far as I can see, there is no performance.   And taking him at 7:30 and then going back at 10:30 or 11 for a luncheon isn't going to happen.   We live almost 30 min. away.   My husband takes him.   He works from home.   

[DawnM]

10 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

Raid your Christmas decorations and just pin stuff onto what he owns. Holiday hat can be an ornament pinned to a hat he owns. Holiday socks is a bell pinned to socks. Ugly sweater is anything pinned to his sweater. Candy cane is any striped t-shirt or any white tshirt with red tape on it. Don’t buy anything he won’t wear again. Let him help. I’d probably keep him home on luncheon day if I couldn’t make it, but if I couldn’t make it then odds are keeping him home wouldn’t be an option.   

Yes, keeping him home is an option.   DH works from home and I have a 24 year old who lives at home who can help.

[Innisfree]

Just now, DawnM said:

As far as I can see, there is no performance.   And taking him at 7:30 and then going back at 10:30 or 11 for a luncheon isn't going to happen.   We live almost 30 min. away.   My husband takes him.   He works from home.   

Yeah, I’d skip it. He can have a day at home.

[Hilltopmom]

I never participate in spirit week stuff as a teacher because I think it’s not fair to kids who can’t afford it or families who it’s just too much to pull together.
My own kids have one Xmas t shirt they wear for any and all Xmas themed dress up days including the concert show. Less than half the students participate usually.

 

[regentrude]

School events in the middle of the day are thoughtless. Not every parent has the privilege of taking time off, and this would really irritate me.

Just keep him home. It's preK, so not like missing a day matters.

Edited December 10, 2022 by regentrude

[MercyA]

I cannot believe that schools think all parents have the time, energy, and money to gather things up for Spirit Day. People are clueless sometimes. 😞

If the kids want to wear holiday stuff, let them decide to do so on their own.

Sorry, Dawn! 

[City Mouse]

As a teacher of young kids, I always hated the family lunch days. Not all parents/grandparents/uncles/ whatever can attend, and there were always children in tears. As a parent and a teacher, I did not have the luxury of leaving work to go to such events during the school day. It always frustrated me to know that my own kid was probably one of the ones crying. So, yes, I would keep him home if you can.

[Kassia]

I agree with the others. That's way too much stress on you for Pre-K!  

[lmrich]

I have often thought the   same thing  as a teacher -  how would I take time off from my school duing the craziest month to  run to  my kids' school to  see a  quick play? But then again, as a teacher - I don't get paid to come back at night to help my  students with  their  performance... 

Glad  I homeschooled😃

[Faith-manor]

It is ridiculous to host parent intensive activities during the day on a work day. Do not feel sad about being unable to make it.

I would be very frustrated about the lack of reasonable notice about all of these things.

If you need to make that adult hat fit your little guy, you can turn the hat inside out, and use a hot glue gun to stuff the hat with poly fiberfil and secure it with dots of glue so if his hat falls off, it doesn't all come tumbling out. If you don't have any stuffing, you can disembowel an old stuffed animal or pillow that you are willing to sacrifice.

[Jann in TX]

Totally understand.  Last week we had ONE day (actually text went out after 8pm the night before) that students needed to wear pink (not for any specific reason other than color of the day).

My GS3 doesn't really have anything pink (not one of his favorite colors since another boy in his class told him that pink was for girls!).  I did find a "Pink Floyd" t-shirt of his and sent him to school in that.

Good news is that his Pre-K teachers don't push the 'spirit' days too much.  Parents do get a 2nd daily photo if students participate in the spirit day but other than that the kids can wear what they wear and it is no big deal.

I did find one of GS's shirts that has a pink dinosaur on it-- will keep that one in mind if another 'pink' day comes around.

 

 

[catz]

I think the late notice is annoying.  Especially for something like "parent's lunch".  I feel like that should be on a calendar issued at the beginning of the year.  

That said I also think it's fine if participation doesn't work for whatever reason.  My kids went to PK and my oldest went to K and 1st at a B&M school and sometimes we were able to participate in stuff like this and sometimes we weren't and I didn't lose sleep over it either way.  Our teachers never made a big deal over it.  I'm sure he won't be the only one.

I wouldn't spend a penny on spirit day stuff unless it's stuff that would easily roll into a regular wardrobe and I was shopping anyway.  

[Emba]

I am right here agreeing with you. I hate, hate, hate it when my kids’ schools act like I have nothing better to do with my time than run around complying with last minute requests that would have been no trouble if they’d just sent it out a few days earlier.  
 

attendance isn’t compulsory for pre-k, right? So I wouldn’t send him when it doesn’t work out with other things your family needs to do.  I mean, not have him skipping on a regular basis, but once in awhile shouldn’t hurt.

[rebcoola]

I wouldn't send him for the luncheon so annoying.  Spirit week shouldn't happen in December there is too much already going on.  I agree with not buying anything we just jury rig out of stuff we already have.

[kbutton]

3 hours ago, regentrude said:

School events in the middle of the day are thoughtless. Not every parent has the privilege of taking time off, and this would really irritate me.

Just keep him home. It's preK, so not like missing a day matters.

Yes and no…our family has a parent with shifts all hours of the day. Sometimes days work better, but none of it works without communicating ahead of time!

We are having issues with lots of last minute stuff too, and we did sometimes when our older one was in school K-2. There is WAY too much assuming that parents talk to each other (how? It’s a car drop off!), or if you have a high schooler that you already know the informal school calendar (1/3 of the high schoolers don’t attend prior to high school). 

[sweet2ndchance]

When ds went to public pre-k it was the same way. Little to no notice about things and no consideration given to parents who can't or do not want to participate in things during the day. I kept ds home if I thought he would be upset about not participating or me not being able to be there for things.

Even now that he is in public school again, it's hit or miss if he actually makes it home with all the notices and things. They have the ability to group text parents, I know because they have done it for some things. If it is important like reminders for days off and early releases, why not send a text to make sure parents get the message?

[Elizabeth86]

5 hours ago, Innisfree said:

Yeah, I’d skip it. He can have a day at home.

Me too!

[Terabith]

I'm teaching preschool this year, and I personally hate things like spirit days and all the days like reindeer days or ugly Christmas sweater days or whatever.  In our house, rarely do the people asked to participate in such things own an appropriate item of clothing, and we either have to feel left out or look like a grinch for not playing along or go out and try to find something at the last minute.  I mean, I can see how an adult might wind up with an ugly Christmas sweater (though I don't have one), but a four year old?  

So, I'm not doing them.  My preschool kids are 2 and 3.  They don't really "get" Christmas.  It's a church related preschool, and I'm hammering on Christmas being Jesus's birthday and the Biblical Christmas story with very few mentions of Santa or reindeer or cultural traditions, because I find the whole mixing of stories to be super confusing.  And they don't remember Christmas from last year.  They won't really understand Christmas until after it occurs.  So, we're making gifts to give their parents, and I'll give them a gift, and we are practicing songs for our Christmas program and reading Bible Christmas picture books and playing with our Nativity set.  But I don't have a classroom elf (heck no), and I'm not doing eight million special days and things.  

They don't really LIKE doing the special things.  They find it confusing and overstimulating and don't like our schedule being different.  But I'm getting pushback from some parents who feel like I'm not festive enough.  

But also, our parents are working.  We ask them to take time off the last day of school before break for the program, but I think asking them to bring in stuff or come in for special snacks or what not feels disrespectful to their schedules.  There's already been a lot of that kind of thing between Halloween and Thanksgiving activities. 

[QueenCat]

The flip side is that when teachers are expected to attend activities or hold parent/teachers at night or off hours, they are not paid extra. And that means that their children are not having dinner, etc. with them. And if they're a single parent, they have to find someone to watch the kids. The last school I taught at handled it pretty well. For example, Meet the Teacher was during the day, the Open House was at night. Parents were inconvenienced for one, teachers for the other. Teachers often missed their own child's Open House, which is where the teachers talk to the parents about their classroom, the school, etc. PTO meetings were held during the day during odd numbered months and in the evening during even numbered months. 

 

[Boymama5]

Right there with you. I think we’re in the 3rd or 4th spirit week for DSs high school. Really?!?!  One week I could justify grabbing things for but at this point I just give him the side eye. He can buy his own things. 
 

As for your DS, I’d keep him home with your DH and other child. Maybe the 24 yo can have a fun lunch at home with him that day in place of what would be missed.   

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, QueenCat said:

The flip side is that when teachers are expected to attend activities or hold parent/teachers at night or off hours, they are not paid extra. And that means that their children are not having dinner, etc. with them. And if they're a single parent, they have to find someone to watch the kids. The last school I taught at handled it pretty well. For example, Meet the Teacher was during the day, the Open House was at night. Parents were inconvenienced for one, teachers for the other. Teachers often missed their own child's Open House, which is where the teachers talk to the parents about their classroom, the school, etc. PTO meetings were held during the day during odd numbered months and in the evening during even numbered months. 

You do know I work in a school?    And this is year 23 of me working in a public school?  I took 10 years off in the middle for my kids but am back in public education.

I am attending a parent/teacher conference Mon and going in late to my own job/school.   

[Clarita]

I would just skip the days. I was always the student without the things; it definitely felt bad in elementary. I didn't blame my parents for it because why would we have boxes and closet full of random things like ugly sweaters and colored hairspray.

I get that it can be fun for some kids, but the rest of us just feel like party poopers.

Ditto for the luncheon. 

1 hour ago, QueenCat said:

The flip side is that when teachers are expected to attend activities or hold parent/teachers at night or off hours, they are not paid extra. And that means that their children are not having dinner, etc. with them.

Let's blame the real culprit here which is the employer not paying their employee for their work. Instead of the parents who just can't make it happen. 

[wathe]

This stuff also makes me nuts.

We make do with what we have on hand.

What I would probably do:

Santa hat: nip the band at the back with a few stitches to fit child's head,   

Ugly sweater: attach decorations to an existing sweater.  Do the same for with old socks for sock day.

Candy cane outfit:  hot glue some small candy canes to an old shirt.  Or fake ones.  

Even better, use the christmas crafts that the child has (probably) been  bringing home as the  bling for the outfits.

[Scarlett]

1 hour ago, Clarita said:

I would just skip the days. I was always the student without the things; it definitely felt bad in elementary. I didn't blame my parents for it because why would we have boxes and closet full of random things like ugly sweaters and colored hairspray.

I get that it can be fun for some kids, but the rest of us just feel like party poopers.

Ditto for the luncheon. 

Let's blame the real culprit here which is the employer not paying their employee for their work. Instead of the parents who just can't make it happen. 

Or how about JW kids who don’t celebrate Christmas.  

[Scarlett]

@Dawn I JAWY.  Keep him home from the luncheon.  

[Melissa in Australia]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Or how about JW kids who don’t celebrate Christmas.  

Here kinders don't do Christmas. They either have to celebrate the special days of every religion or none. The country is too multicultural to just single out one particular religious event

[QueenCat]

15 hours ago, DawnM said:

You do know I work in a school?    And this is year 23 of me working in a public school?  I took 10 years off in the middle for my kids but am back in public education.

I am attending a parent/teacher conference Mon and going in late to my own job/school.   

I do know that. This was more of a general comment in relation to other comments. I was also showing how my last school balanced some things. 

[Drama Llama]

13 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Here kinders don't do Christmas. They either have to celebrate the special days of every religion or none. The country is too multicultural to just single out one particular religious event

Does Australia not have church based schools?

In most parts of America there are no free preschools, except for kids with disabilities or who are low income.  So many churches and synagogues run preschools that include a religious component.

[73349]

I totally AWY. I sent DS to 2 years of preschool and was horrified at how often I was given things to come up with on short notice--often a note coming home on Tuesday with a list of something we did not own to bring or wear on Thursday. And I was like, Do you know why I send this child to preschool? So I can get things done while he's gone, not so he comes home with more for me to do!

[Melissa Louise]

6 hours ago, BandH said:

Does Australia not have church based schools?

In most parts of America there are no free preschools, except for kids with disabilities or who are low income.  So many churches and synagogues run preschools that include a religious component.

We have church based preschools, and yes, they do celebrate Christmas.

 

 

[Melissa in Australia]

7 hours ago, BandH said:

Does Australia not have church based schools?

In most parts of America there are no free preschools, except for kids with disabilities or who are low income.  So many churches and synagogues run preschools that include a religious component.

Most schools are government schools, including preschools that are heavily subsidized and almost free for low income people . Church based ones are considered private and they are pricy. And in most rural areas there aren't the options of religious private preschools.

Edited December 11, 2022 by Melissa in Australia

[Melissa Louise]

In my city, church based preschools were the inexpensive option, offering a sliding scale fee.

There was no government preschool in mine or surrounding suburbs. It differs by location, clearly.

 

[SKL]

I couldn't answer earlier, but man.

You don't have to do any of those things, now or in the future.  Those things used to get me all flustered, but at some point I decided that it was just not important.  If my kids wanted to get creative and come up with something, then great.  Otherwise, nbd.

Better not get me started about all the special clothes needed for choir programs etc. (usually a plain t-shirt in a color we would never buy), field trips (khaki pants or jeans that my kids will never wear again), donation requests that require multiple grocery runs within the work week (not easy when you're a single mom and your kids are too little to leave alone), Donuts with Dad (when you're a single mom), and on and on.

You might want to start acquiring a few cheap thrift store items for future festivities, but really, don't worry if your kid doesn't have something for every event.

About the parent lunch, since your dh works at home and there's another adult around, could one of the do the lunch or pick up the child before lunch?  If not, no biggie for your son to just stay home.

[DawnM]

19 hours ago, SKL said:

I couldn't answer earlier, but man.

You don't have to do any of those things, now or in the future.  Those things used to get me all flustered, but at some point I decided that it was just not important.  If my kids wanted to get creative and come up with something, then great.  Otherwise, nbd.

Better not get me started about all the special clothes needed for choir programs etc. (usually a plain t-shirt in a color we would never buy), field trips (khaki pants or jeans that my kids will never wear again), donation requests that require multiple grocery runs within the work week (not easy when you're a single mom and your kids are too little to leave alone), Donuts with Dad (when you're a single mom), and on and on.

You might want to start acquiring a few cheap thrift store items for future festivities, but really, don't worry if your kid doesn't have something for every event.

About the parent lunch, since your dh works at home and there's another adult around, could one of the do the lunch or pick up the child before lunch?  If not, no biggie for your son to just stay home.

No, it is an HOUR r/t each time we go to the school and back, so going at 7, get back at 8, turn right back around at 10.....no way for DH to get work done at all.   And I am not home and oldest son doesn't drive.

[DawnM]

21 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

Most schools are government schools, including preschools that are heavily subsidized and almost free for low income people . Church based ones are considered private and they are pricy. And in most rural areas there aren't the options of religious private preschools.

 

20 hours ago, Melissa Louise said:

In my city, church based preschools were the inexpensive option, offering a sliding scale fee.

There was no government preschool in mine or surrounding suburbs. It differs by location, clearly.

 

 

It is the same here for the most part.   This is a Pre-K public school, but even though we are not low income, he qualifies because of his previous foster care status and because he has medicaid.

[vonfirmath]

On 12/10/2022 at 6:28 AM, DawnM said:

I actually just bought a Santa hat, but it is adult sized.   He is 5.   I doubt he can fit it, but we will see.

Days:   Holiday socks, holiday headgear of some sort, candy cane costume of some sort, and ugly sweater day.   There is one more but I can't remember it at the moment.

I will hit the thrift store Sunday but today is full with our family holiday party that is 2 hours each way and we leave at 9am and usually don't get home until evening sometime.   

 

 

When we got these, we'd often make them up at home

Do you have a headband? Use construction paper to make antlers.

Tape strips of red paper to a white shirt

Put bells on socks.

 

Etc