Going back to church

[Storygirl]

Would anyone like to discuss what this is like for you?

We have not been attending church during the pandemic, but have been watching it online. We are very connected with our small group, which meets on Sundays after the service and discusses the message. Until now, our small group has been on Zoom, but we are returning in person tomorrow. This is because those of us who chose to be vaccinated are now two-plus weeks past the second shot.

Unfortunately, there is at least one couple in our group that has mentioned they are not getting the vaccine. And there are others that I'm not sure about, but they have not been as cautious (some have been attending church in person), so I'm sure there are others who are avoiding the vaccine. Also unfortunately, this week our governor dropped the mask mandate. Our small group meets in a classroom, and there may be 12 or more people who come.

I'm not entirely comfortable with meeting with a group of people who have mixed vaccination status, but DH and I are planning to go tomorrow to see how things go. We are both vaccinated, and our kids are all vaccinated (except DD15 has only had one shot so far). We are leaving the kids at home tomorrow, and we will watch the church service online and will only go to our small group in person, as a way of dipping our toes into the water.

We haven't been 100% pleased with the way our church has handled things during the pandemic, and we are certain there will be plenty of unmasked, unvaccinated people there. But unless we plan to stay away from church forever, we need to get comfortable with reentering at some point.

Is anyone else returning to church soon? How are you dealing with it, logistically? And how are you dealing with it emotionally, if you have been disappointed with your church in some ways over the past year?

Edited May 15, 2021 by Storygirl

[Matryoshka]

My church has been virtual this whole time.  We did have one outdoor service in September (our 'welcome back' service), and one of the two Easter services was also outdoors, and we're having another June 6th.  Services were streamed from at home to much more recently (past month?), as the numbers have gone down, from inside the sanctuary - so there are a few people in there at once, but just the minister and a couple of deacons.

Then we go on summer break (yep, this is how we roll...)  we do have services in the summer, but they are lay-led and very sparsely attended.  Not sure what's going to happen with those?  I am thinking we will likely have enough vaxxed people here in the fall that, assuming there are no new scary vaccine-eluding variants, we could resume in-person services in the fall, probably also streamed for the more reluctant or vulnerable, now that we've figured out the technology.  I do wonder about choir - if the whole choir is fully vaxxed, should be okay??

[Syllieann]

We went back (me, dh, kids over 8. )in late March after I was able to confirm that masking and distancing was happening and local rates dropped below 20/100k/day.  At that point it was mostly older folks who were probably fully vaccinated.  People were spaced way further than 6'- probably 10-15.  My parents, whom we saw frequently throughout the pandemic, were also fully vax by then so I no longer needed to be concerned about accidentally passing something to them.  At some point in there we started bringing the then-7 year old along too.  Anyway, it was a pretty easy return.  We skipped Easter because we thought there would be too many people and I don't love the idea of someone being turned away because we were there.

Since then attendance has crept back up and a couple weeks ago they started congregational singing (masked) again.  There are now enough people that it's 6' spacing.  People have grown more lax over the past month though.  Sometimes someone will remove their mask to cough or sneeze.  After a disgusting incident last week with someone who removed his mask, we decided dh will stay home with the kids and watch on tv until they are all vaccinated.  I plan to attend the Sunday evening Mass, which has the smallest attendance.  DH and I are fully vax, but the kids are not.  My oldest is 12 and will probably get vaccinated in about 6 weeks if nothing concerning shows up before then.  At that point I'll start taking him while dh continues to stay with the youngers.

Edited May 15, 2021 by Syllieann

[73349]

I think we will go back once DS is fully vaxed (in about 6 weeks), but I would prefer to maintain masking: we are still nowhere near herd immunity in my state & I still have symptoms from catching it the first time (14 months ago).

[kokotg]

We haven't been back in person and won't until late summer at least...my 8 year old's Sunday school is still meeting over Zoom, so there's no reasonable way for him to do that and us to go back in person. And I'm not sure if I'm comfortable bringing him (or my 15 year old who just had his first shot) to the indoor services yet anyway. We'll be out of town from mid June to August, so I've figured there was no reason to start back up in person before that; I'm hopeful that things will be looking good in August and we'll be ready to go back. 

[JennyD]

My DH is planning to go back to synagogue on Monday for the first time in over a year.  It will be a relatively small group of people, all masked and distanced, and likely all vaccinated.  

I'll go back when all the kids can go, which won't be until DS10 is fully vaxxed.  The older two will go with DH once they are fully vaccinated in 5 weeks.

 

[SKL]

I am hoping we can go back once my kids are considered "fully vaxed," which would be in the 3rd week of June.

Meanwhile, I will be watching to see how our church responds to the changes in CDC advice and the lifting of the state requirements.

It's none of my business who is and isn't vaxed in our church.  (The church is not anti-vax, so this would be an individual matter.)  Therefore I am not sure how comfortable I am attending with elderly people.  Mask or no mask, really, because in an hour-long church service with talking and singing, there is going to be breath exchanged.  But I can't wait forever to return.  No matter how long I wait, it won't be long enough to ensure that no germs can possibly be exchanged.  So I guess I need to think more about it.  Thankfully I have time to ponder it.

[Ellie]

My church has been meeting in person since last May. Lots of physical distancing and stuff. Most things will be back to "normal" this Sunday, although there will be sections on the sides where physical distancing is still practiced. Masks are still required for all at this point. Communion only with the Body of Christ and not also the Blood.

Couldn't happen soon enough for me. Or Mr. Ellie. Neither of us has plans at this time to be vaccinated as we don't believe the current inoculations are safe.

Flame away.

[Resilient]

We have been meeting indoors masked and distanced since last June.  Of 120 regulars, one COVID case, not connected to the meeting.  

Why not ask your religious director for actual data like this?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am going in person tomorrow for the first time in over a year.  I trust in my vaccine and my mask so even if I am around unvaxed and/or unmasked people I feel pretty safe.  It helps that I go to a tiny church though.  The group present will still be under 20 people spread out and I happen to know that 90% of them are vaccinated, not because anyone is quizzing anyone but because in such a small group, people have volunteered the information when they've gotten the vaccine. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Amira]

I live in a place with almost no vaccines available and we're on the rising side of our third wave.  My particular church congregation has had better access to vaccines but it's still below 50%.  Dh and I are fully vaxed and ds will get his first shot in a couple of days.  The building we meet in isn't large enough to allow distancing if everyone shows up for church.  Masking is still required.  They're doing a very short service without any singing that's also on zoom.  I honestly can't see a reason to show up at church.  I'd rather leave space for distancing for those who really need to be there, plus churches are only supposed to be at 25% capacity here.  So we watch on zoom and have been pushing to keep that option available.  We all take turns sharing a message each week and I did it yesterday over zoom.  Personally, I feel like keeping the zoom option is important even after the pandemic is over because there are so many reasons why people can't/shouldn't be at church but want to participate.  It doesn't have to be seen as a lesser option.  In fact, since I hate public speaking, it was so much easier for me to speak over zoom rather than in person.  I was able to share my message more effectively over zoom.  Between zoom and whatsapp and being with people outside, I feel connected to my church.

[ktgrok]

I've been back a few times, after I was fully vaccinated. Masked and distanced. Limited capacity. The diocese says they are reviewing CDC guidelines right now. 

 I don't take the kids, as they are not vaccinated and when you are in the same room for over an hour, singing, even masked you will have germs moving around. 

[maize]

3 hours ago, Amira said:

I live in a place with almost no vaccines available and we're on the rising side of our third wave.  My particular church congregation has had better access to vaccines but it's still below 50%.  Dh and I are fully vaxed and ds will get his first shot in a couple of days.  The building we meet in isn't large enough to allow distancing if everyone shows up for church.  Masking is still required.  They're doing a very short service without any singing that's also on zoom.  I honestly can't see a reason to show up at church.  I'd rather leave space for distancing for those who really need to be there, plus churches are only supposed to be at 25% capacity here.  So we watch on zoom and have been pushing to keep that option available.  We all take turns sharing a message each week and I did it yesterday over zoom.  Personally, I feel like keeping the zoom option is important even after the pandemic is over because there are so many reasons why people can't/shouldn't be at church but want to participate.  It doesn't have to be seen as a lesser option.  In fact, since I hate public speaking, it was so much easier for me to speak over zoom rather than in person.  I was able to share my message more effectively over zoom.  Between zoom and whatsapp and being with people outside, I feel connected to my church.

Our local bishop has mentioned repeatedly that he hopes broadcasting the service over zoom or similar will remain an option long term. There are always a few people who can't make it to church in person.

[kbutton]

We need to church shop via online services. Our church hasn't been up front about much of what they are doing--the website says one thing, but people do another. They seem to be very keen on the idea that we need to hear from them via sermon, so they have an online service and online devotionals, but they don't have anything that includes people as part of a group at all. No Zoom studies, etc. It's all one way, or you have to show up in person. We have had online sermons for a long time for those who have to miss or can't attend regularly, but they changed it all for Covid. It's now pre-recorded, the music is some kind of polished music video thing (close shots of musicians and singers, recorded and edited with all kinds of strange camera angles), not at all like the singing in person, and the sermon is delivered without an audience, sometimes just at a desk in some kind of artificial environment (you can't identify the room the sermon is delivered in, the background is all blue light). You can text someone live at the end of the service if you want to respond (like an altar call). The youth group hammered away at saying they were distancing and wearing masks, but my DH and kids tried to attend outdoors once and had to stay far away from the group because they were doing neither of those things. Pictures in the meantime have validated that few mask and there is virtually no distancing. 

What people have said on FB is very discouraging. 

I haven't felt connected to the church or the majority of its paranoid members (the worst have been unfollowed on FB) for a long time; I spend most Sundays in a funk, TBH. 

[happi duck]

2 hours ago, maize said:

Our local bishop has mentioned repeatedly that he hopes broadcasting the service over zoom or similar will remain an option long term. There are always a few people who can't make it to church in person.

We've been zoom only since March 2020 and it's been great!  We're keeping it moving forward *but* people keep saying "zoom" and "live stream" interchangeably.  They're not the same!  I'm hoping for zoom because it isn't just watching.

[Jean in Newcastle]

6 hours ago, Amira said:

I live in a place with almost no vaccines available and we're on the rising side of our third wave.  My particular church congregation has had better access to vaccines but it's still below 50%.  Dh and I are fully vaxed and ds will get his first shot in a couple of days.  The building we meet in isn't large enough to allow distancing if everyone shows up for church.  Masking is still required.  They're doing a very short service without any singing that's also on zoom.  I honestly can't see a reason to show up at church.  I'd rather leave space for distancing for those who really need to be there, plus churches are only supposed to be at 25% capacity here.  So we watch on zoom and have been pushing to keep that option available.  We all take turns sharing a message each week and I did it yesterday over zoom.  Personally, I feel like keeping the zoom option is important even after the pandemic is over because there are so many reasons why people can't/shouldn't be at church but want to participate.  It doesn't have to be seen as a lesser option.  In fact, since I hate public speaking, it was so much easier for me to speak over zoom rather than in person.  I was able to share my message more effectively over zoom.  Between zoom and whatsapp and being with people outside, I feel connected to my church.

Our church attendance has gone up with the pandemic because of the ability to add an online option.  It will be continuing and I am glad.  I am one of those who can't always attend due to pain and fatigue and this is a great benefit to me. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I remembered how to get to church!  Someone just asked if I would prefer if they mask also. Which I appreciate the courtesy. But it’s ok if they don’t. I am vaxed plus wearing a mask myself.   

[gardenmom5]

It has varied by area - I just spent two weeks in Texas with 2dd.  they are now having their 2nd hour class - but almost everyone wears a mask even though the mask mandate was previously dropped.  (I went to a lot of places where people were still wearing masks.)

we're returning to our 2nd hour in June.  Zoom is still an option for those who aren't comfortable.  And last time I was at church here, everyone was wearing a mask and will be continuing so far as I know.

[kbutton]

2 hours ago, happi duck said:

We're keeping it moving forward *but* people keep saying "zoom" and "live stream" interchangeably.  They're not the same!  I'm hoping for zoom because it isn't just watching.

YES!!! QFT. They are not the same. We don't even get live stream. We get pre-recording but streamed at a specific time (but you can access it later), and the canned version is "special" for the pandemic. It's not even what they used to put on the website (recording of a live service) before the pandemic. 

Zoom would be so cool. Even just a Zoom Bible study. 

[TCB]

4 hours ago, kbutton said:

We need to church shop via online services. Our church hasn't been up front about much of what they are doing--the website says one thing, but people do another. They seem to be very keen on the idea that we need to hear from them via sermon, so they have an online service and online devotionals, but they don't have anything that includes people as part of a group at all. No Zoom studies, etc. It's all one way, or you have to show up in person. We have had online sermons for a long time for those who have to miss or can't attend regularly, but they changed it all for Covid. It's now pre-recorded, the music is some kind of polished music video thing (close shots of musicians and singers, recorded and edited with all kinds of strange camera angles), not at all like the singing in person, and the sermon is delivered without an audience, sometimes just at a desk in some kind of artificial environment (you can't identify the room the sermon is delivered in, the background is all blue light). You can text someone live at the end of the service if you want to respond (like an altar call). The youth group hammered away at saying they were distancing and wearing masks, but my DH and kids tried to attend outdoors once and had to stay far away from the group because they were doing neither of those things. Pictures in the meantime have validated that few mask and there is virtually no distancing. 

What people have said on FB is very discouraging. 

I haven't felt connected to the church or the majority of its paranoid members (the worst have been unfollowed on FB) for a long time; I spend most Sundays in a funk, TBH. 

Sorry. I know this feeling also. I don’t know how to find a new church either. I’m fairly sure most of the churches around here have behaved in the same way. I’m hoping that maybe going somewhere where I don’t explicitly know how they’ve behaved will make it easier to move forward, but I don’t know. My faith in God has not suffered throughout this time, but my confidence in the local church is virtually nonexistent now. Really not sure what the best next move is.

[kbutton]

5 minutes ago, TCB said:

Sorry. I know this feeling also. I don’t know how to find a new church either. I’m fairly sure most of the churches around here have behaved in the same way. I’m hoping that maybe going somewhere where I don’t explicitly know how they’ve behaved will make it easier to move forward, but I don’t know. My faith in God has not suffered throughout this time, but my confidence in the local church is virtually nonexistent now. Really not sure what the best next move is.

Hugs.

My faith is somewhat shaken--it's hard to combat ugly messages that suggest I am looney-toons. I grew up in an area with a lot of fundamentalism (way more benign than the Duggar thread!) while not being very fundamentalist, and I navigated that fairly well, but I am realizing that hearing one thing and believing another is not something I want to continue to do lifelong. It takes a huge toll. 

[happi duck]

7 minutes ago, kbutton said:

Hugs.

My faith is somewhat shaken--it's hard to combat ugly messages that suggest I am looney-toons. I grew up in an area with a lot of fundamentalism (way more benign than the Duggar thread!) while not being very fundamentalist, and I navigated that fairly well, but I am realizing that hearing one thing and believing another is not something I want to continue to do lifelong. It takes a huge toll. 

Hearing one thing and believing another does take a toll.  I'm in a better place now but my past life of trying to navigate that still affects me.

(hugs)

[matrips]

We’ve been back since last August- masked and every other pew roped off.  Probably several hundred people each service.  They sanitize in between.  And youth group is masked and meets in a larger room than they used to.  So far it seems to be fine, and I hope they stay that way for a good while.  Not looking forward to being all crowded together again.

[Ditto]

We haven't been back yet.  Trying to figure out when to return is harder than I thought it would be.   Our church has handled things perfectly so far and I have been both happy and relieved with their response.   Now that my state has ditched the mask mandate and almost all social distancing guidelines I will be watching to see what our church does.  As of their e-newletter Friday they were continuing to maintain social distancing and had changed to make masks optional (if you are vaccinated).    At this point I think I am just going to watch for a few weeks (or longer) and see how things play out before we go back.   I don't want to be close in proximity to others and I am not at all comfortable being around unmasked people.   As things open up I am finding that I am still very scared and very wary of returning to "life".   

[Syllieann]

I'm just going to update my previous post because today they announced that there will be no more masks or distancing required of anyone regardless of vaccination status beginning next Saturday.  Guess what next Saturday is?  It was supposed to be my son's First Communion.  Guess who's not going anymore?  And now I have to tell all my vaccinated family members not to bother coming because my kid won't be there.  I was fighting back tears.  I can't believe they are doing this to the children.  So many kids went a year without school and with little social contact, we're talking more than 10% of my kid's life.  Birthday parties, playdates, and theme parks were off the table, but now that the adults are vaccinated, oh well, f* the kids, and here's twenty trillion in debt too.  

[Danae]

19 minutes ago, Syllieann said:

I'm just going to update my previous post because today they announced that there will be no more masks or distancing required of anyone regardless of vaccination status beginning next Saturday.  Guess what next Saturday is?  It was supposed to be my son's First Communion.  Guess who's not going anymore?  And now I have to tell all my vaccinated family members not to bother coming because my kid won't be there.  I was fighting back tears.  I can't believe they are doing this to the children.  So many kids went a year without school and with little social contact, we're talking more than 10% of my kid's life.  Birthday parties, playdates, and theme parks were off the table, but now that the adults are vaccinated, oh well, f* the kids, and here's twenty trillion in debt too.  

I am so sorry.  

[dsmith]

Dh had been going when cases were low, stopped when they went higher and just started back last week. He goes to the earliest Mass at 8 am, which only had about 50 people pre-covid. He doesn't go up for communion as social distancing seems to fly out the window and people take their masks off before their turn. Our state mask mandate hasn't changed, so everyone is masked and at the least every other pew is blocked. He also goes to a rosary group one night a week, very distanced and only about 5 -9 people in the smaller chapel, but still plenty of room to spread out. 

[TCB]

8 hours ago, kbutton said:

Hugs.

My faith is somewhat shaken--it's hard to combat ugly messages that suggest I am looney-toons. I grew up in an area with a lot of fundamentalism (way more benign than the Duggar thread!) while not being very fundamentalist, and I navigated that fairly well, but I am realizing that hearing one thing and believing another is not something I want to continue to do lifelong. It takes a huge toll. 

I’m sorry, it is really difficult. I feel like I completely don’t fit in. In some ways, though, it has been somewhat freeing to me. I have never been able to wholeheartedly leap into some of the things my local church believed, and it has always caused some cognitive dissonance for me. Somehow, seeing the whacky way they have been about Covid, I now realize that they are not necessarily correct about some other things, and I no longer feel pressure to accept them. These things are really just secondary issues, but I have felt internal conflict in the past, because I have not been able to buy into them.

[Storygirl]

So there were people wearing masks at church today (our first time back). But only in the halls. In the classrooms, masks came off. Why? I don't know. DH and I were the last ones to enter the classroom, and he took his mask off right away, so I was the only one masked. I sat and pondered it for quite a while. I'm fully vaccinated, as is DH. We know some of the couples have gotten their shots, because they have shared that info, but I don't know about everyone. I know for sure that the couple sitting across the table from me has not gotten the vaccine.

Our state has said, since the CDC removed the mask recommendation for fully vaccinated people, that the state guidance will follow the CDC. The church has been requiring masks, but not enforcing it (and the worship team sings without masks, and there is congregational singing -- they never stopped that). They didn't send out a message that masks would no longer be required, yet people were taking them off. Since it was our group's first time back in person, I don't know if the classes have been taking masks off every week, all along, or if they just started today, after the new CDC guidance.

No matter what, the couple that I know is not vaccinated should have been wearing masks. It really bothered me that they were not. We have another couple in our group that has recently recovered from their household having Covid plus pneumonia, and our group took them meals for three weeks, because the parents were both too sick to cook. So the people in our group should, in my opinion, understand the need to be careful.

I worry that unvaccinated church goers (in general, not just those at my church) are going to start spreading Covid more amongst themselves, now that they feel free to take their masks off.

I'm not overly worried about getting Covid myself, but I know there is a chance of a breakthrough infection, so I would say that my concern level is not zero, despite my vaccination.

It was really nice to see everyone in person again. I wish that I had not felt conflicted about the circumstances.

Oh, we watched the main church service online, before going to the building for our small group, because I'm still not comfortable with the singing, or with being with a larger group of people.

Edited May 17, 2021 by Storygirl

[Storygirl]

22 hours ago, Resilient said:

We have been meeting indoors masked and distanced since last June.  Of 120 regulars, one COVID case, not connected to the meeting.  

Why not ask your religious director for actual data like this?

I'm not sure whether you are posing this question to me, as the OP, or just in general. There is no mechanism in place for congregants at our church to report to church staff whether they have had Covid, so our church will not have the kind of data yours does.

[Resilient]

1 hour ago, Storygirl said:

I'm not sure whether you are posing this question to me, as the OP, or just in general. There is no mechanism in place for congregants at our church to report to church staff whether they have had Covid, so our church will not have the kind of data yours does.

Fair enough.  Our religious director is well aware of what is happening in the lives of the people in our community and so he would have this information.  My own experience does not reflect the experience of others, and I forgot that this is not the case for everyone.  Would that it were.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Many of the people I know who think that Covid is no big deal will not say if they get it.  I know this because they hem and haw and say that they were sick with "something" and then much later they admit that it was Covid.  (And no, I am not asking.  I just let people volunteer what information they want to volunteer.)  There may well be others who haven't said anything at all about illness and unless I were taking note of how often I were seeing them at church (and I'm not - not even as a pastor's wife) then I wouldn't know since people have to miss from time to time for all sorts of reasons. 

[Tenaj]

In a strange and ironic twist of life, I am in trouble now at church because I didn't wear a mask yesterday despite the fact that I am fully vaccinated.  Our church has been masking since the state mandate started - I think it was in July.  Our family was masking from the time we started back meeting in person last June so before it was a mandate.  Our state dropped the mandate for vaccinated people,   so yesterday, I didn't wear my mask and today on fb have discovered that I am accused of being divisive in our church because those who are not vaccinated had to still wear a mask.  I'm done!  So done!  I know some of you might not agree with me about not wearing a mask but the situation is that we are a very small congregation and are very well-spaced out.  I play the piano for our services and am completely by myself in one corner for the majority of the service.  

For most of the year, I have been ostracized because I insisted we wear masks and follow the state mandates in a different situation (not church) and we were the only family involved following the mandates.  Now I'm in trouble for following the mandates for the opposite reason.

I'll be masking now until  . . . forever?  Because no matter what I do, I'm wrong. . .

[happi duck]

2 hours ago, JanOH said:

In a strange and ironic twist of life, I am in trouble now at church because I didn't wear a mask yesterday despite the fact that I am fully vaccinated.  Our church has been masking since the state mandate started - I think it was in July.  Our family was masking from the time we started back meeting in person last June so before it was a mandate.  Our state dropped the mandate for vaccinated people,   so yesterday, I didn't wear my mask and today on fb have discovered that I am accused of being divisive in our church because those who are not vaccinated had to still wear a mask.  I'm done!  So done!  I know some of you might not agree with me about not wearing a mask but the situation is that we are a very small congregation and are very well-spaced out.  I play the piano for our services and am completely by myself in one corner for the majority of the service.  

For most of the year, I have been ostracized because I insisted we wear masks and follow the state mandates in a different situation (not church) and we were the only family involved following the mandates.  Now I'm in trouble for following the mandates for the opposite reason.

I'll be masking now until  . . . forever?  Because no matter what I do, I'm wrong. . .

I'm sorry to hear people were jerky to you.  Our diocese still has a mask mandate and the CDC announcement specified that it did not overrule local mandates.  I'm guessing your church didn't lift their rule.  I don't understand why someone didn't let you know!

I'm hoping our diocese does keep the mask mandate.

[J-rap]

Our church has really shown its true colors this past year, and not just related to Covid.  (A number of major events have taken place in our metro area!)  I know the leadership has worked extraordinarily hard to continually brings its message down to:  How can we best love/care for the most vulnerable in a Christ-like way?  That's what it uses as its compass.  It has been very beautiful, actually, and through its increasing online communities and groups, its congregation has grown to include people from all around the country and the world.  

It did start in-person services two weeks ago, although we haven't gone yet.  I'm certain that the vast majority of people there will have been vaccinated if they can because of the strong message the church has.  (Because if you don't agree with its various somewhat radical messages you wouldn't be going there in the first place!)  Masks are still required in the church, and distancing takes place between family groups, etc.  Gathering before and after the services are outside only.  Reservations are required so that they can keep the numbers down, for now.  (And add services if necessary.)

That said, if our church were not quite like that but still had a humble, other-oriented attitude, even if people individually weren't always vaxing and were still trying to find their way through various "theories," I'd probably still stick it out.  (I do know of churches like that...  Where it's really a mixed group of politics, vaccination views, and so forth, but they're still wanting to err on the side of caution and kindness and require masks, etc., and the church leadership does not have an arrogant "You can't take away our rights" message.)

The church is dedicated to becoming a hybrid church now, where it will continue to have events and groups and ways to be involved virtually as well as its in-person activities.  My own small group consists completely of people from other states, except me.  Which is funny, because our family only started going to the church in person when we first moved here about 6 months before the pandemic started (although we've listened to its sermons online for years).   So...now this small group is my closest group of friends through the church even though I may never see any of them in person!  🙂  

P.S.  I should add that we don't have children at home anymore, and I know that all makes a difference.  Our church really worked hard to keep up all of their youth groups "online" but they were also the first groups to start meeting again in person.  (Masked and outside, of course.  :)) 

Also, our metro area still has mask mandates despite the changes nationally.

 

 

[Tenaj]

51 minutes ago, happi duck said:

I'm sorry to hear people were jerky to you.  Our diocese still has a mask mandate and the CDC announcement specified that it did not overrule local mandates.  I'm guessing your church didn't lift their rule.  I don't understand why someone didn't let you know!

I'm hoping our diocese does keep the mask mandate.

This is a really, really small church!  When we walked in yesterday, our pastor greeted us and I asked what we were going to do.  He looked at my dh (a deacon) and shrugged and said we were following local mandates as always which meant any one who was vaccinated doesn't need to mask.

So it's a few anti-vaccine ladies who are annoyed.

[TCB]

1 hour ago, J-rap said:

Our church has really shown its true colors this past year, and not just related to Covid.  (A number of major events have taken place in our metro area!)  I know the leadership has worked extraordinarily hard to continually brings its message down to:  How can we best love/care for the most vulnerable in a Christ-like way?  That's what it uses as its compass.  It has been very beautiful, actually, and through its increasing online communities and groups, its congregation has grown to include people from all around the country and the world.  

It did start in-person services two weeks ago, although we haven't gone yet.  I'm certain that the vast majority of people there will have been vaccinated if they can because of the strong message the church has.  (Because if you don't agree with its various somewhat radical messages you wouldn't be going there in the first place!)  Masks are still required in the church, and distancing takes place between family groups, etc.  Gathering before and after the services are outside only.  Reservations are required so that they can keep the numbers down, for now.  (And add services if necessary.)

That said, if our church were not quite like that but still had a humble, other-oriented attitude, even if people individually weren't always vaxing and were still trying to find their way through various "theories," I'd probably still stick it out.  (I do know of churches like that...  Where it's really a mixed group of politics, vaccination views, and so forth, but they're still wanting to err on the side of caution and kindness and require masks, etc., and the church leadership does not have an arrogant "You can't take away our rights" message.)

The church is dedicated to becoming a hybrid church now, where it will continue to have events and groups and ways to be involved virtually as well as its in-person activities.  My own small group consists completely of people from other states, except me.  Which is funny, because our family only started going to the church in person when we first moved here about 6 months before the pandemic started (although we've listened to its sermons online for years).   So...now this small group is my closest group of friends through the church even though I may never see any of them in person!  🙂  

P.S.  I should add that we don't have children at home anymore, and I know that all makes a difference.  Our church really worked hard to keep up all of their youth groups "online" but they were also the first groups to start meeting again in person.  (Masked and outside, of course.  :)) 

Also, our metro area still has mask mandates despite the changes nationally.

 

 

That sounds like a wonderful church! Would you mind saying what denomination it is? I know churches vary, within denominations, but my dd and I are looking around for a church so I would like to see if there are any like yours in my area. The church we used to attend pretty much falls into the “You can’t take away my rights” category.

[KSera]

15 hours ago, Syllieann said:

I'm just going to update my previous post because today they announced that there will be no more masks or distancing required of anyone regardless of vaccination status beginning next Saturday.  Guess what next Saturday is?  It was supposed to be my son's First Communion.  Guess who's not going anymore?  And now I have to tell all my vaccinated family members not to bother coming because my kid won't be there.  I was fighting back tears.  I can't believe they are doing this to the children.  So many kids went a year without school and with little social contact, we're talking more than 10% of my kid's life.  Birthday parties, playdates, and theme parks were off the table, but now that the adults are vaccinated, oh well, f* the kids, and here's twenty trillion in debt too.  

I’m so sorry about this! Is there any chance you could talk with them to see if they could keep mitigation measures in place one more week so kids don’t have to miss their first communions? That just isn’t right at all 😢. 

[kbutton]

13 hours ago, TCB said:

I’m sorry, it is really difficult. I feel like I completely don’t fit in. In some ways, though, it has been somewhat freeing to me. I have never been able to wholeheartedly leap into some of the things my local church believed, and it has always caused some cognitive dissonance for me. Somehow, seeing the whacky way they have been about Covid, I now realize that they are not necessarily correct about some other things, and I no longer feel pressure to accept them. These things are really just secondary issues, but I have felt internal conflict in the past, because I have not been able to buy into them.

That is an upside! I have a few things like that as well. I just don't see that on Sunday. I just want to take Sunday out of the weekly lineup until we magically have a new church we love, lol! I am in a funk every Sunday.

9 hours ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Many of the people I know who think that Covid is no big deal will not say if they get it.  I know this because they hem and haw and say that they were sick with "something" and then much later they admit that it was Covid.  (And no, I am not asking.  I just let people volunteer what information they want to volunteer.)  There may well be others who haven't said anything at all about illness and unless I were taking note of how often I were seeing them at church (and I'm not - not even as a pastor's wife) then I wouldn't know since people have to miss from time to time for all sorts of reasons. 

I have heard some hemming and hawing, but I think here, people will say they were sick, but only to others who are likeminded. Or, they will say it now to reassure people that they have some level of immunity--they say it like it will make people feel more safe around them. 

[barnwife]

@Syllieann
I am sorry you are dealing with that. 

FWIW, we just went to Mass as a family since this began (I went last weekend to a special Confirmation Mass) this weekend. We did so because we wanted to baptize our baby and have DD make her First Holy Communion while the godparents were visiting. While church was full, every other pew was still roped off. Also, the rate of masking was higher than I hoped for. Our bishop strongly encourages masking in places without orders now. 

I don't think we will go again in person for a bit longer though. It just feels like a sacrifice that I can make and so I should do so.

That being said, any chance your priest would say a private Mass for the FHC? (Our priest is totally willing to do so.)

Blah...this pandemic breaks my heart in so many ways. A big one for me is the way it has been handled in many churches, particulary Christian churches (soley because as a Catholic Christian I don't think we need any more reasons for people to think badly of us). 

[Syllieann]

17 minutes ago, KSera said:

I’m so sorry about this! Is there any chance you could talk with them to see if they could keep mitigation measures in place one more week so kids don’t have to miss their first communions? That just isn’t right at all 😢. 

I sent an email to the DRE about it and she scheduled a meeting with the priest for tomorrow to discuss it.  I don't have high hopes.  It is coming down from the archbishop and the priest was just placed here last summer.

[Syllieann]

2 minutes ago, barnwife said:

@Syllieann
I am sorry you are dealing with that. 

FWIW, we just went to Mass as a family since this began (I went last weekend to a special Confirmation Mass) this weekend. We did so because we wanted to baptize our baby and have DD make her First Holy Communion while the godparents were visiting. While church was full, every other pew was still roped off. Also, the rate of masking was higher than I hoped for. Our bishop strongly encourages masking in places without orders now. 

I don't think we will go again in person for a bit longer though. It just feels like a sacrifice that I can make and so I should do so.

That being said, any chance your priest would say a private Mass for the FHC? (Our priest is totally willing to do so.)

Blah...this pandemic breaks my heart in so many ways. A big one for me is the way it has been handled in many churches, particulary Christian churches (soley because as a Catholic Christian I don't think we need any more reasons for people to think badly of us). 

Yes, we will either do it privately or have ds wait outside (he should still be able to hear) and have the priest bring communion out.

[J-rap]

43 minutes ago, TCB said:

That sounds like a wonderful church! Would you mind saying what denomination it is? I know churches vary, within denominations, but my dd and I are looking around for a church so I would like to see if there are any like yours in my area. The church we used to attend pretty much falls into the “You can’t take away my rights” category.

Years ago I believe it was part of the Baptist General Conference, until it split off in 2008 when it refused to get involved in certain politics.  Since then, it has called itself non-denominational, but in more recent years it's begun aligning itself with aspects of the Anabaptist movement.

I know it's also part of the "Jesus Collective" (https://jesuscollective.com), which I think is fairly new but is a group that's trying to bring together like-minded churches.  I think right now it's focusing more on leadership, but I've heard that eventually they hope to expand to being able to recommend like-minded churches across the country.  (Actually I haven't checked out the site in a while, but have a look!  Perhaps some of this stuff is already happening.)

Edited May 17, 2021 by J-rap

[Tina]

We have been back at church for several months.  Still sitting by family in every other pew.  This last Sunday most were still masking. 

 

My small group started back meeting in garages a few months back without masks, and even had a potluck a few weeks ago.  We're not asking who has and who hasn't and are comfortable back together.  Perhaps you'd like your small group to start by meeting outside seated apart?

[mom@shiloh]

We began meeting again in person last May with some masking and distancing. Much of that is now going away. We have not had a single case of transmission at our church. 

[AngelaR]

On 5/16/2021 at 12:58 PM, TCB said:

Sorry. I know this feeling also. I don’t know how to find a new church either. I’m fairly sure most of the churches around here have behaved in the same way. I’m hoping that maybe going somewhere where I don’t explicitly know how they’ve behaved will make it easier to move forward, but I don’t know. My faith in God has not suffered throughout this time, but my confidence in the local church is virtually nonexistent now. Really not sure what the best next move is.

I’m there too!  My children really need the social interaction. But I’m so disillusioned with the American church right now. 

[kbutton]

https://religionnews.com/2021/05/19/meet-the-friendly-neighbor-epidemiologist-encouraging-her-fellow-christians-to-get-vaccinated/?fbclid=IwAR3Z37sC8bUVnfoZJBZHwpg1oIyvJ85FTWnxSYwaRA4qTp262eZ1mlHKTLY

Nice article about an epidemiologist/pastor's wife and how things have panned out during the pandemic for her with fellow believers. 

Quote

But threats and pushback have also followed — all but one from her fellow Christians. She has been sent pictures of guns, handwritten letters about the “mark of the beast” and the End Times, messages telling her she should leave the preaching to her husband or telling her she is going to hell.

Quote

Smith said she believes Friendly Neighbor Epidemiologist has taken off the way it has because her experience of the pandemic has been the same as so many other Christians’ experiences. Her Facebook page has given a voice to those who believed wearing a mask was a way to “love thy neighbor” — her mantra for the past year.

She’s heard all the same arguments and conspiracy theories they have. She and her husband even left their church this past year, she said.

“I think there were a lot of people like me that had to make a decision: Were they OK with what they saw unearthed in 2020? A lot of people left their churches, a lot of people left faith in general. There’s just an entire population of Christians that are homeless now,” she said.

But, Smith said, she’s come out the other side. She’s found a new Baptist church that shares her view of what it means to “love thy neighbor” and offers a bit of quiet at a time that feels anything but. In 2021, she said, she wants to share with other Christians that’s possible for them, too.