what's the dumbest thing you've ever heard?

[gardenmom5]

this came across my FB.  I want to laugh - and I want to despair people are this stupid.   thunk.

 

[HomeAgain]

Most lately - I complained to our pest guy that ants were nesting beneath our stone patio and coming up between the pavers.  He texted back that I should just plant more grass there. Uh, no.  Thanks. 
Second best was the mom who led a hike that was covered in poison ivy and when approached with the concern over it, replied "In Jesus' name, the plant won't hurt you."  I explained that's not how it works and was told, "If you believe enough, it does!"

[Zebra]

I was talking to a salesman, and I said that our property values had recently gone up because the city had reevaluated everyone, and had now decided we were too close to the ocean.   And the salesman said, "How did they move your house closer to the water?"

I thought he was kidding.   

   

[SKL]

Probably the time someone asked if my brother and I were identical twins.  (He is 3.5 years older AND the opposite sex.)

[catz]

I've heard so many dumb things or non-accurate assumptions related to the college admissions process we just went through I just wouldn't even know where to start.  Including info directly from colleges and/or faculty members.  

[desertflower]

I used to work at a gift shop in an aquarium and the gift shop is the way out. Someone asked me where are the fishes? 🤣😂

[MaBelle]

My little sister complaining about our mom's quirks.  They are exactly. the. same.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

Probably the time someone asked if my brother and I were identical twins.  (He is 3.5 years older AND the opposite sex.)

I can do you one better than that in the same vein: when I was in high school, a girl named Michelle, who was one of a boy-girl twin set, tried to tell others in the class that a scar on her arm was from where she and her twin were separated at birth. So, she was saying she was a conjoined twin of the opposite sex. Der. 

[Guest]

Well, there was a recent conversation I had with someone who was complaining about all the taxes we pay, who said huffily, “WHAT do I get from all the taxes I pay? What benefit do I get?” 

I said, “National defense, for starters,” knowing she was very pro-military. “Roads. Parks. Libraries. The public beach. Toilets at the public beach...” 

[gardenmom5]

1 hour ago, HomeAgain said:

Most lately - I complained to our pest guy that ants were nesting beneath our stone patio and coming up between the pavers.  He texted back that I should just plant more grass there. Uh, no.  Thanks. 
Second best was the mom who led a hike that was covered in poison ivy and when approached with the concern over it, replied "In Jesus' name, the plant won't hurt you."  I explained that's not how it works and was told, "If you believe enough, it does!"

so, when Jesus gave her a brain (he expects her to use) - did she just give it back or something?

a friend for some reason - ended up doing an overnight/hike? to where the scouts would do their overnight snow camps....  she's a very experienced hiker.  she told them they can't camp there in the winter.  "oh, we always do.  it's a great spot." - it's an avalanche chute.

1 hour ago, Zebra said:

I was talking to a salesman, and I said that our property values had recently gone up because the city had reevaluated everyone, and had now decided we were too close to the ocean.   And the salesman said, "How did they move your house closer to the water?"

I thought he was kidding.   

   

dh and a client were talking about the chaos around 2012 election.  asked how she was going to get away from it, she said she was going to move to another planet.  she was serious.   

1 hour ago, HeighHo said:

This week its a person who went to a private college who believes that an engineer cannot tutor math or arithmetic effectively and only people who have a teaching license can.  🙄  She had a music ed degree and license and assumes that is enough proficiency, and so did the non namebrand afterschool place that hired her to tutor.  I didn't point out the lack of critical thinking, as she is still paying off her loans, 7 years out, and that with a very well paying teaching job that leaves her plenty of time to use her supposedly superior math and critical thinking skills to freelance for something that pays more than ten an hour.  It just makes you thankful for your own good education, Khan, and the excellent people available via internet (when you don't have the health or time to DIY).  

I had that same conversation with an older professional tutor.  "you can't *know enough* to tutor in more than one subject.". she made it sound like she was "less than" that others could.
2dd was working as a tutor that year.  she has undergrad degrees in chemistry (so- calculus and physics) and biology, plus is fluent in Spanish (and  French).  she had one student she kept after she started grad school because she enjoyed the girl so much.

and as the parent of an engineer - they can certainly tutor physics as well as math. - he didn't do well with how math was taught in school. he went through the entire khan program into calculus in order to start his mech eng. program. (so there's my blurb for how great khan is for math.)

my friend switched from teaching Spanish to math, and the problem parent at the school started screeching. (the admin were appreciative when they put their little darling, who could do no wrong, into a private school.) friend's degrees are in math....

and music degrees... bwahahaha.  dh has a nephew with three.  his high school drop out little brother makes more than him.  of course - he got into computers and does quite well.  actually it's sad - he fancies himself a composer - but his music is completely discordant.  right up there with fingernails on a chalkboard.

I appreciate one family I know - they permit double majors.  one music - and one something that will pay the bills!  starting with the dad - love to hear him play piano. he has finance degrees too.

33 minutes ago, Quill said:

I can do you one better than that in the same vein: when I was in high school, a girl named Michelle, who was one of a boy-girl twin set, tried to tell others in the class that a scar on her arm was from where she and her twin were separated at birth. So, she was saying she was a conjoined twin of the opposite sex. Der. 

was she serious?  or pulling people's leg?

I have joked 2dd and 1ds are my "twins" - because they're so much alike. 1/2" difference in height, same coloring, same build, similar personality, both stem majors with/seeking advanced degrees.  (most) people know they're 3 1/2 years apart.  they could be cast as viola and Sebastian. 😄

I have also had the conversation with older ladies that identical twins don't run in families.....and then having to explain the difference between identical and fraternal.

[gardenmom5]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

Probably the time someone asked if my brother and I were identical twins.  (He is 3.5 years older AND the opposite sex.)

do you actually look alike?  you could play viola and Sebastian.

2 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said:

I've heard so many dumb things or non-accurate assumptions related to the college admissions process we just went through I just wouldn't even know where to start.  Including info directly from colleges and/or faculty members.  

I wonder how much is because of the college admissions scandal.

[Momto6inIN]

I got a prescription filled at Wal-Mart (not my usual place for Rx) for my littlest DD who is just 2 months old so it was in a syringe. The label said 6.25 mL as the dosage, and the pharmacist patiently told me, "You give her 6 and a quarter milliliters. That's just a little more than 6" and helpfully showed me where the line on the syringe is just above the 6. 😛 Um, yes, thank you, I am proficient at 2nd grade math actually.

I wasn't sure if that was a reflection of how stupid I look or of how clueless most of the customers are 🤣

[DesertBlossom]

That's why a stick shift is called a millenial anti-theft device. 😉

[gardenmom5]

5 minutes ago, DesertBlossom said:

That's why a stick shift is called a millenial anti-theft device. 😉

I've met a lot of middle age people who can't drive one.

1ds complained bitterly I made him learn to drive on one... but he can, even if he never drives another.

[gardenmom5]

31 minutes ago, Momto6inIN said:

I got a prescription filled at Wal-Mart (not my usual place for Rx) for my littlest DD who is just 2 months old so it was in a syringe. The label said 6.25 mL as the dosage, and the pharmacist patiently told me, "You give her 6 and a quarter milliliters. That's just a little more than 6" and helpfully showed me where the line on the syringe is just above the 6. 😛 Um, yes, thank you, I am proficient at 2nd grade math actually.

I wasn't sure if that was a reflection of how stupid I look or of how clueless most of the customers are 🤣

dd corrected a DOCTOR/nurse about that....in a hospital.  (after the order came in - she sent it back saying it would kill the patient and for them to redo their math.)

[Guest]

2 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

was she serious?  or pulling people's leg?

I have joked 2dd and 1ds are my "twins" - because they're so much alike. 1/2" difference in height, same coloring, same build, similar personality, both stem majors with/seeking advanced degrees.  (most) people know they're 3 1/2 years apart.  they could be cast as viola and Sebastian. 😄

I have also had the conversation with older ladies that identical twins don't run in families.....and then having to explain the difference between identical and fraternal.

She said it like she was serious. Other kids were believing her. I was like, “uuuuhhh, that’s impossible.” 

[Selkie]

I was chatting with another mom about the bad storm that was headed our way. She said that her husband wasn't worried about it because, according to him, bad weather doesn't cross the Mississippi. It just stops and doesn't go any further. Yeahhh, despite all evidence to the contrary... The scary thing is that her husband is a medical doctor.😮

And dh has a close family member who is a very accomplished scientist, yet believes that black coffee makes you fat. This came up when he and dh were discussing the care of an elderly, infirm relative who has many health problems related to his weight. Dh said that it would be a good idea to cut back on the amount of junk food and fried food that said relative was eating, but scientist insisted it wasn't the food, but the black coffee he drinks that had caused his weight problem. No cream, no sugar, just black coffee...🤷‍♀️

[SKL]

My ex-boss and secretary were both in a tizzy one day.  Secretary had mentioned to boss that her twin sister's birthday was the same day as hers.  Boss jokingly said, "really?  I had no idea," meaning, "yeah, that's obvious since you're twins."  Secretary thought he was serious and went on to explain that being twins means you are born at the same time and thus have the same birthday. 

Later, both came to me separately to tell me how pathetically dumb the other one was.

My challenge that day was to keep a straight face.

[Scarlett]

When I asked an employee of a business if he was on the north or south side of the hwy and he told me 'well, it depends on which direction you are coming from.'

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

When I asked an employee of a business if he was on the north or south side of the hwy and he told me 'well, it depends on which direction you are coming from.'

I remember that! 

[Corraleno]

DD was briefly a member of a Girl Scout troop for homeschoolers, and one of the mom's organized an activity for a badge about animals, which seemed to be waaaay below the age level of the girls in the troop (it involved sorting little plastic animals, like something you'd see in a Montessori preschool!). Anyway, at one point the discussion turned to snakes and this mom was absolutely adamant that snakes were invertebrates. When a few kids (including DD) pushed back and insisted that snakes were vertebrates, just like lizards, she became increasingly frustrated and upset, insisting that since snakes are shaped like worms and "move just like them" (which is totally untrue, but whatever), snakes and worms are both invertebrates. As the girls continued to argue, she finally blurted out "How could a snake even wiggle if it had a big ol' bone right down the middle of it??!!"

Apparently the only mental image she could come up with for a vertebrate snake had a single long bone, like a femur, running from head to tail. 😳

[lavender's green]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

My ex-boss and secretary were both in a tizzy one day.  Secretary had mentioned to boss that her twin sister's birthday was the same day as hers.  Boss jokingly said, "really?  I had no idea," meaning, "yeah, that's obvious since you're twins."  Secretary thought he was serious and went on to explain that being twins means you are born at the same time and thus have the same birthday. 

Later, both came to me separately to tell me how pathetically dumb the other one was.

My challenge that day was to keep a straight face.

My dad got in huge trouble in their first year of marriage for remembering Mom's twin's birthday (they were co-workers and my parents met through my aunt), but not hers.

[gardenmom5]

29 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

I was helping to run the small animal show in town one day for the Cattlewomen. My duck laid an egg, and I knew with the stress, she'd eat it in front of the kids. I didn't want that to happen, so I put it up, on the closest flat surface, which just happened to be a rabbit cage (the duck pen didn't have a top). Ps teacher, in all seriousness said, "I didn't know rabbits laid eggs!" Right, you're CLEARLY qualified to teach kindergarten! Head smack!

I bought some stuff from a woman on craigslist who lived outside town.  She had chickens, so gave me some fresh eggs.   When I mentioned I grew up in a horsey area, and people had chickens. she shared her story of a city slicker coworker. 

Cw visited her with children,  and she gave them eggs.   A month later. cw asks when the eggs will hatch.   "I don't have a rooster".  Cw doesn't understand the relationship,  since she has eggs.  Cw bought an incubator. 

She sent them to the grange, as they had baby chicks.

[lmrich]

That if I am allergic to dairy that I am allergic to eggs. (I get a lot of people are) but this woman insisted that I could not eggs since I am allergic to dairy. I explained to her that eggs come from a bird and milk from a mammal - they are not the same thing. She continued to argue with me that eggs and dairy are the same. She. would. not. stop. 

[TABmom]

2 hours ago, Quill said:

She said it like she was serious. Other kids were believing her. I was like, “uuuuhhh, that’s impossible.” 

I'm sure this girl was just trying to get people to believe something ridiculous. 

[LucyStoner]

The woman on the radio who was complaining about wildlife crossings.  She wanted to know why they didn't just have the animals cross where there were traffic lights and stop signs for cars.  Uh, elk and deer can't read signs, mkay lady?  

[hjffkj]

14 minutes ago, LucyStoner said:

The woman on the radio who was complaining about wildlife crossings.  She wanted to know why they didn't just have the animals cross where there were traffic lights and stop signs for cars.  Uh, elk and deer can't read signs, mkay lady?  

hehe, I clearly remember when I was 5 or 6 seeing an animal crossing sign and thinking, "how would the animal know to cross there."  That thought only stuck for a minute or so before I realized it was for humans to be aware.  I felt so stupid and that moment is ingrained in my memory because for months I would just start laughing at myself when I saw those signs.

[gardenmom5]

1 hour ago, lmrich said:

That if I am allergic to dairy that I am allergic to eggs. (I get a lot of people are) but this woman insisted that I could not eggs since I am allergic to dairy. I explained to her that eggs come from a bird and milk from a mammal - they are not the same thing. She continued to argue with me that eggs and dairy are the same. She. would. not. stop. 

there are many people who think eggs are dairy.  that one is pretty common anyway.

[Angie in VA]

1 hour ago, Corraleno said:

DD was briefly a member of a Girl Scout troop for homeschoolers, and one of the mom's organized an activity for a badge about animals, which seemed to be waaaay below the age level of the girls in the troop (it involved sorting little plastic animals, like something you'd see in a Montessori preschool!). Anyway, at one point the discussion turned to snakes and this mom was absolutely adamant that snakes were invertebrates. When a few kids (including DD) pushed back and insisted that snakes were vertebrates, just like lizards, she became increasingly frustrated and upset, insisting that since snakes are shaped like worms and "move just like them" (which is totally untrue, but whatever), snakes and worms are both invertebrates. As the girls continued to argue, she finally blurted out "How could a snake even wiggle if it had a big ol' bone right down the middle of it??!!"

Apparently the only mental image she could come up with for a vertebrate snake had a single long bone, like a femur, running from head to tail. 😳

 

Anyone else wish dmmetler's dd were in that group to hear that?

If she were, it would be great if all of us boardies were there too. I imagine gasps and scooting back of chairs to give her room. I also imagine dmmetler's dd, arms up at her sides, palms facing us, as if to say, "I've got this." 

Edited July 12, 2019 by Angie in VA

[Tanaqui]

The kids once stayed over with their grandmother when they were little, and when they came back they told me, as they were getting ready to take a bath, that Grandma had said that if water gets in your ears it goes right to your brain.

The words "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard" popped out of my mouth before I could stop them, but in my defense, it was and still is.

[math teacher]

People (including adults) who used to say you shouldn't peel vegetables because all the vitamins are right under the skin. To be clear, I don't normally peel most vegetables, but this was something I heard growing up.

[Wheres Toto]

2 hours ago, Corraleno said:

DD was briefly a member of a Girl Scout troop for homeschoolers, and one of the mom's organized an activity for a badge about animals, which seemed to be waaaay below the age level of the girls in the troop (it involved sorting little plastic animals, like something you'd see in a Montessori preschool!). Anyway, at one point the discussion turned to snakes and this mom was absolutely adamant that snakes were invertebrates. When a few kids (including DD) pushed back and insisted that snakes were vertebrates, just like lizards, she became increasingly frustrated and upset, insisting that since snakes are shaped like worms and "move just like them" (which is totally untrue, but whatever), snakes and worms are both invertebrates. As the girls continued to argue, she finally blurted out "How could a snake even wiggle if it had a big ol' bone right down the middle of it??!!"

Apparently the only mental image she could come up with for a vertebrate snake had a single long bone, like a femur, running from head to tail. 😳

Did she think people were invertebrates because we can bend over?  

I used to have people ask me if my kids were twins all the time.  They are 2 years apart and ds has always been at least 4-6 inches taller than dd.  They did look alike though.  Twice someone asked me if they were identical twins and I just didn't know what to say to that.  

I'm sure if I thought about it long enough I could probably come up with a ton of examples.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Angie in VA said:

 

Anyone else wish dmmetler's dd were in that group to hear that?

If she were, it would be great if all of us boardies were there too. I imagine gasps and scooting back of chairs to give her room. I also imagine dmmetler's dd, arms up at her sides, palms facing us, as if to say, "I've got this." 

DD’s comment is that “it’s a logical conclusion, but they have multiple bones, just all in a line” (teaching kids has taught her a lot more restraint :).

[gardenmom5]

43 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

We have chickens and it has truly been stunning to realize how little the general population understand about chicken eggs, fertilization and chicks. I think they think the chicken lays the egg with the chick fully formed in it and it hatches that day. There is a serious disconnect in this world between people and food sources! Apparently more public schools need the eggs in an incubator project in elementary, and again in high school. 

I remember when my boys were in elementary - they did a salmon hatchery thing.  they did get some up to fry stage.  then went and toured the UW dept that does that.  watching them corral the salmon (draining the pond - just east of a fish ladder - they were in), then harvesting the milk and the row - before touring the facility where they had tray after tray of developing salmon eggs.

 

eta: I mentioned to my mother I was thinking of getting some chickens for fresh eggs.  she absolutely shuddered and mumbled "oh, chickens".  her parents both grew up on farms, and her early life was on a farm.  then visiting aunts and uncles on their farms every summer...

Edited July 12, 2019 by gardenmom5

[SKL]

4 hours ago, Corraleno said:

DD was briefly a member of a Girl Scout troop for homeschoolers, and one of the mom's organized an activity for a badge about animals, which seemed to be waaaay below the age level of the girls in the troop (it involved sorting little plastic animals, like something you'd see in a Montessori preschool!). Anyway, at one point the discussion turned to snakes and this mom was absolutely adamant that snakes were invertebrates. When a few kids (including DD) pushed back and insisted that snakes were vertebrates, just like lizards, she became increasingly frustrated and upset, insisting that since snakes are shaped like worms and "move just like them" (which is totally untrue, but whatever), snakes and worms are both invertebrates. As the girls continued to argue, she finally blurted out "How could a snake even wiggle if it had a big ol' bone right down the middle of it??!!"

Apparently the only mental image she could come up with for a vertebrate snake had a single long bone, like a femur, running from head to tail. 😳

This reminds me - the same person who asked if I was my brother's identical twin - her kid (primary school age) asked her what a "spine" was.  She answered, "that's the bone in your back."  I have always wondered whether she thought the spine was one single bone.  Or maybe she thought a school-aged kid was too dumb to understand that there are a number of bones in one's spine.  Either way I found it a bit disturbing.

[Corraleno]

Oh, I thought of two more — which, sadly, occurred in the context of the same homeschooled Girl Scout troop (hence the aforementioned brevity of our membership).

We went on a hike in a nature preserve, which included a stop at the visitor center for a talk by a volunteer who was a relative of one of the troop moms. At one point she asked the kids to name warm-blooded animals and when someone said "turkey" she laughed and said "no, turkeys are birds and birds are cold-blooded." I said "um, sorry to interrupt, but birds are definitely warm-blooded," and she looked really confused and said "but only mammals are warm-blooded, that's what makes them mammals." 😳

On another hike, one of the moms pointed to the berries on a juniper tree and told the girls that there are 300 calories in every berry, so an animal like a bear or deer "only needs to eat, like, 10 berries and that's 3000 calories and that's all they need for a whole day!" I said that didn't sound possible, even with the densest, most high-calorie fat, you couldn't pack 300 calories into a tiny berry like that, but she was adamant that she had "looked it up" and juniper berries were definitely 300 calories each. Googled it when I got home: they are 3 calories. No, a deer can't survive the winter eating 10 berries a day. 🙄

 

1 hour ago, Where's Toto? said:

Did she think people were invertebrates because we can bend over?  

I did wonder how much she understood about human anatomy since the concept of a "spine" seemed to completely elude her!

 

 

Edited July 12, 2019 by Corraleno

[SKL]

14 minutes ago, Paradox5 said:

Years ago when my kids had food allergies, we went to Sonic where I ordered hot dogs without the buns. The kid asked me why so I explained the situation. He looks me right in the eye and says, "Bread doesn't have wheat in it." Yes, yes it does. 

This reminds me of the time I asked if a dessert had any chocolate "in, on, or around it."  The waitress assured me it did not.  She served the dessert and I asked what that brown powdery stuff was.  "Oh that isn't chocolate, it's cocoa ....  Wait a minute ....  Oh I'm SO SORRY!!"

[Garga]

10 hours ago, Quill said:

Well, there was a recent conversation I had with someone who was complaining about all the taxes we pay, who said huffily, “WHAT do I get from all the taxes I pay? What benefit do I get?” 

I said, “National defense, for starters,” knowing she was very pro-military. “Roads. Parks. Libraries. The public beach. Toilets at the public beach...” 

“What have the Romans ever done for us?”  “Aqueducts...sanitation...roads,..irrigation...medication...education...public baths...public order....peace.”  “Yeah...But apart from that...what have the Romans ever done for us??”

7 hours ago, gardenmom5 said:

I've met a lot of middle age people who can't drive one.

1ds complained bitterly I made him learn to drive on one... but he can, even if he never drives another.

 

I’m 46 and can’t drive one and don’t want to drive one.  I hate stick shifts.  Tried learning a number of times and have decided I’m just not going to.

 

6 hours ago, Quill said:

She said it like she was serious. Other kids were believing her. I was like, “uuuuhhh, that’s impossible.” 

 

I’ll bet her family told her that as a joke, and she fell for it and probably earnestly believed it.

2 hours ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

We have chickens and it has truly been stunning to realize how little the general population understand about chicken eggs, fertilization and chicks. I think they think the chicken lays the egg with the chick fully formed in it and it hatches that day. There is a serious disconnect in this world between people and food sources! Apparently more public schools need the eggs in an incubator project in elementary, and again in high school. 

 

Huh.  Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t actually know how the rooster fertilizes the egg.  I know the eggs start off as we see them when we crack them open when we get them from the store, and then a rooster somehow magically fertilizes them, and after some amount of time the chicks grow, and then over a period of time (hours/days?), the chicks hatch.

How does that rooster fertilize the eggs?!  Off to google.

 

ETA:  Wait...they mate first??  I HAD NO IDEA!!!!  This is what comes from growing up in the ‘burbs.  

Edited July 12, 2019 by Garga

[Corraleno]

2 minutes ago, Garga said:

Huh.  Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t actually know how the rooster fertilizes the egg.  I know the eggs start off on the inside  as we see them when we crack them open, and then a rooster somehow magically fertilizes them, and after some amount of time the chicks grow, and then over a period of time (hours/days), the chicks hatch.

How does that rooster fertilize the eggs?!  Off to google.

Don't you make eggs every month, regardless of whether you've interacted with a "rooster"? Same principle.  😉

[SKL]

3 minutes ago, Garga said:

I’ll bet her family told her that as a joke, and she fell for it and probably earnestly believed it. 

We should have another thread about things gullible people we know have believed. 

Like my one sister really believed that a watermelon was going to grow in her stomach because she ate the seeds.

My little sister once believed that the sound of a whisper could travel in one ear and out the other.  She would put her hand over the person's other ear when whispering a secret.  (I must admit I told her that lie.)

[Garga]

3 minutes ago, Corraleno said:

Don't you make eggs every month, regardless of whether you've interacted with a "rooster"? Same principle.  😉

Yes, but I had no idea they mated.  I honestly thought that the rooster somehow did something to the already hatched egg.  

Probably something my mother told me when I was tiny and she didn’t want to explain exactly what the birds and the bees did.  

And in my defense, I was public schooled.  😜

 

Edited July 12, 2019 by Garga

[Garga]

5 minutes ago, SKL said:

We should have another thread about things gullible people we know have believed. 

Like my one sister really believed that a watermelon was going to grow in her stomach because she ate the seeds.

My little sister once believed that the sound of a whisper could travel in one ear and out the other.  She would put her hand over the person's other ear when whispering a secret.  (I must admit I told her that lie.)

 

When I was 16, an adult coworker told me about Dr. Schwartz who was an introverted astronaut.  He volunteered to go on a mission in a space shuttle that would head off to space and never come back. He’d just live on it until he died of old age and he’d keep the ship going and send back space information to NASA.  He had volunteered because he liked being alone so much and was happy to go.  I fully believed him.

After about an hour, he told me he was joking.

But I went home and told my mother’s 40-something year old friend about Dr. Schwartz, and she also believed it.  I told her the truth the next day.

So...guess we were both pretty gullible.  

[purpleowl]

We took our kids to a science museum in another city one time. They had lifelike animal...paintings? statues? I don't remember, but one of them was some sort of water bird, which DD#1 was interested in at the time. I didn't see a label, so I asked an employee I saw nearby what kind of bird it was.

Her: "Hmm...I'm not really sure, but I think it's a goose."
Me (realizing that she's not going to give me anything more specific): "Oh, a goose. Okay, thanks."
Her: "Yeah. Or maybe a mongoose."

She was completely serious, bless her heart. I managed to keep a straight face while I thanked her and ushered the kids into a different room, then I did the silent laughter thing. 

[Corraleno]

5 minutes ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

She didn’t tell you because the birds are violent!!! Bird sex is seriously unromantic. Chickens are bad and ducks are even worse. That was super fun to explain to the kids. “Why is the rooster tackling all of our chickens all the time Mommy?” 

#askyourDad

When I used to keep chickens I was told that there are "rapist roosters" and "courting roosters" and you should generally cull the first type. When I kept Auracanas, we had to cull every rooster we had because they were so bad and the poor hens were being mutilated.😢 But I never had a single problem my Black Australorps, and my very favorite chicken ever was this HUGE magnificent iridescent black rooster who just was sweetest, most polite guy. He would eat out of my hand and was so gentle and protective of his girls. I loved that bird!

Ducks though!   😳

[gardenmom5]

26 minutes ago, Garga said:

 

’m 46 and can’t drive one and don’t want to drive one.  I hate stick shifts.  Tried learning a number of times and have decided I’m just not going to.

 

but they're so much fun to drive.....  I learned to drive on a '75 celica.  I miss it...

[rebcoola]

When we first moved to Wisconsin we tried to buy beer one night. Got to the cashier said we couldn’t because it was to late.  DH asks “is that state law?” She responds “ I think it’s Wisconsin law”..... I so wanted to ask what is Wisconsin.

[happypamama]

Walking through the site of the Gettysburg Address when my oldest two were 10 and 7, we passed a group of 20 somethings, American-looking and sounding (so, not likely foreigners to whom I might give a pass).  As we passed by, I heard one of the girls in the group say, "Wait. Lee fought for the Confederates?!?"  She was truly shocked.  My kids were so appalled. 

[Melissa in Australia]

5 hours ago, Where's Toto? said:

 

I used to have people ask me if my kids were twins all the time.  They are 2 years apart and ds has always been at least 4-6 inches taller than dd.  They did look alike though.  Twice someone asked me if they were identical twins and I just didn't know what to say to that.  

I'm sure if I thought about it long enough I could probably come up with a ton of examples.

I have had people try and tell me that my twins are  just playing twins because they are dressed the same... um.. they are twins.

they look incredibly similar as well 

[Melissa in Australia]

2 hours ago, Corraleno said:

When I used to keep chickens I was told that there are "rapist roosters" and "courting roosters" and you should generally cull the first type. When I kept Auracanas, we had to cull every rooster we had because they were so bad and the poor hens were being mutilated.😢 But I never had a single problem my Black Australorps, and my very favorite chicken ever was this HUGE magnificent iridescent black rooster who just was sweetest, most polite guy. He would eat out of my hand and was so gentle and protective of his girls. I loved that bird!

Ducks though!   😳

drakes are sex maniacs . the are awful

[gardenmom5]

7 minutes ago, Paradox5 said:

My dad taught me on a 1987/88 Ford Festiva with no power steering! He bought it right after we came back from the Netherlands. I was with him. He walks in, smacks the sales guy's desk and asked, "What's the cheapest thing you have on the lot with AC?" and bought it! My two younger brothers could lift that car and move it when they were macho teens. I don't miss it.

Dh had a Saturn sedan for a couple years that was stick a shift. We finally traded it in after he developed pain in his wrist and knee from driving it. That and he left the windows down for a week in the airport parking lot while he was on a business trip. It rained. It's Houston. The car became The Mold Mobile. Bye-bye! He had a VW Golf back in Scotland. Manuals are still standard there. 

1dd is still laughing about how her boss (a control freak) had to go 40 miles away from the airport to find an automatic transmission for a rental car.