Kids who sneak food

[plain jane]

I'm wondering if this is within the realm or "normal" or if this would be an issue.

 

I try to find a balance in our lives when it comes to what the kids eat.  A lot of them have allergies so that really limits their choices to begin with.  During winter months, I admit that I do limit sugar intake both for immune system and also behaviour.  The kids know this and we talk about why.  On top of severe food allergies, I also have one who reacts very poorly with red dye.  Neither of my parents have a sweet tooth so I grew up not having dessert often and as a result, it's not something we have often either. It not something I think of unless we have company come over.

 

An ongoing issue here is that snack food disappears.  I never see it being eaten, but it disappears and nobody will own up to it being them.  I don't ask in anger, I'm just truly curious who is eating it and what I can do to curb this a bit.  Stuff like the chocolate chips that I buy for baking.  I'll go to make chocolate chip pancakes (I do so once or twice a week) or muffins and the bag is almost empty when it was full the week prior.  Or, all of a sudden ½ the halloween candy in the closet is gone or the box of chocolates that I was given by a friend for Christmas is ½ empty when I had only eaten 1.  I bought marshmallows for a science project and intended to make Rice Crispy squares out of the remainder but when I grabbed the bag, there were two left.  Yet, nobody will own up to eating them. We had put all our Christmas candy in a bowl and we were going to have some slowly over a few weeks rather than all at once (the kids as a group suggested this).  Well, I forgot about it for a couple weeks and when I went back to give some out to them all, it was all gone. :(   This is the sort of thing that happens. I think I know who it is but when I've confronted them in a non-confrontational manner they acted all offended and they got all angry with me for accusing them.

 

When I bake cookies or muffins, they go in a tin and the kids are welcome to help themselves whenever.  This goes for whatever fruits and vegetables are on the counter.

 

I guess I am a bit frustrated that my baking materials disappear so quickly and without my knowing.  We live a ways out of town so it is often days later before I can get in to buy what I need to bake or make treats.  But maybe because we don't have cookies and goodies around a lot that's what the kids see as treats?

 

Do you think that it is an issue of sorts that food is disappearing like this?  I'll be honest that it bothers me, but here's why:  I typically put the chocolate chips or candies up on the top shelf because my little kids (3, 5) will eat them non stop if they have access to them all the time.  I'm not opposed to them having sweets and candy from time to time but we all know how little kids binge.  So, I know it's one of my older kids.  But when the older kids sneak food that I don't know they are eating then the little kids never get anything.  Like the marshmallows- somebody ate them all and the little kids never even got to eat one.  I'm a bit tired of hiding food in my own house.  It's not that I even want to hide food, but I do need some of it to be there when I need it.  I also think it can lead to unhealthy eating habits if one of my kids feels they need to sneak all this food.

 

Do your kids eat all your baking stuff and goodies? I could use a bit of insight from other parents here.

 

 

[scrapbookbuzz]

I have one kid who does. And when I find wrappers in her room, I remind her, "Ants!"

But I also tell her that she doesn't need to sneak food. If she wants to eat it, eat it.

Because I will always find out.

[plain jane]

I have another thought....that they are all eating a little bit, and even sharing it with the little ones. 

 

Also, do you have a spouse?  In our house, my DH is one of the biggest problems. 

 

 

Yes, I've considered him. haha  But he denies it.  I hope HE'S not the one lying to me. :( 

[Mothersweets]

I'm hoping for some answers as this is happening at my house, too. It is super frustrating and disappointing. 

[Tanaqui]

When I was a child, we used to visit my grandmother in Belgium every year. One year, my sister figured out she could just take the chocolate, the good Cote d'Or chocolate, and eat a bar every day and she'd never figure it out. (In her defense, she scrupulously shared her ill-gotten gains with me.) Well, eventually my grandmother did figure it out and locked the cabinet. And we never went back to Belgium. (Turns out this is because of both my grandparents getting cancer that year, but for over a decade I legitimately believed it was because of the chocolate! Put me on the straight and narrow, I can assure you!) It's a stage. Kids outgrow this, and if you can't figure out which one is doing it you can't discipline it away any faster.

 

I have two extremely practical suggestions. The first is to just get a lockbox and put anything you don't want eaten in there. It's stupid, but life is a lot happier when you don't have to worry about the fact that one or more of your kids is gorging on your baking supplies.

 

The second is stop buying baking goods except on the very day or, at most, one day before you intend to bake. Which means you would always bake within one day of doing your grocery run.

 

You can't watch them every second, and you can't punish only the one who is sneaking because you don't know which child it is. So seriously, an ounce of prevention is what is called for here.

 

From where I'm sitting, human children sneaking baking supplies (been there, done that) is not really any different from them telling appallingly stupid lies "Yes, I brushed my teeth, I have no idea why they're still orange!" or using bad language when upset, or from kittens climbing your leg, or from puppies chewing up your shoes. You can get all worked up about it, or you can work around it. In the long run, this stage takes as long as it takes and then it's over. It's just easier and more peaceful to avoid the situation than to try to discipline it away.

[happi duck]

Would putting an "ask first!" note on stuff like this help?

[manicmum81]

I used to have a big issue with DS8 (almost 9) taking food when I wasn't around. This was when he was around 6 or 7 years old. He would get up super early before the rest of the house woke up and I would find food missing, wrappers stuffed in places. He had no reason to steal, my kids have always been more than well fed but it was like a compulsive need to do it for quite some time. He always seemed to be hungry. I was concerned for a time that something else might be going on but as he got older the food went missing less often until last year he stopped altogether.

 

He would always own up to taking the food as he cant lie and it wasn't always junk food, fruit went missing too. I don't know if it was an immaturity thing or what but none of my other children took food like this. I mean, we had the odd cookie go missing but not a daily raid like him lol.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It's the weirdest thing, but my kids always ask for food even though I have told them they don't have to.  With the exception of something I might want set aside (which I announce) I don't expect anyone to ask me for food and they do every time.

 

So, I'm no help! 

 

 

[Lady Marmalade]

Another thought... Do you have teen girls?  My kids both have sweet tooths, but when she is pms'ing, My Girl will eat anything that even remotely resembles a sweet treat.  So now I keep her from eating the baking supplies by stopping at World Market and picking up a few special bars that are just for her. 

[Tanaqui]

Would putting an "ask first!" note on stuff like this help?

 

That's not a half-bad idea. I presume her kids aren't maliciously eating the chocolate chips because they like seeing their mother cry or anything like that, so a reminder could do a world of good.

 

Or, you know I mentioned lockboxes? We had a similar problem here with petty theft of cash to buy junk food. I'm still not sure which child it was, but I have my suspicions. Solution? All cash now goes in a sealed envelope with the total written on the outside. The envelope is only opened while I am actually buying something, and then it goes in a new envelope. No losses since that point - the act of ripping open the envelope is itself enough of a reminder that they can't get away with this to deter theft. A manila envelope ought to hold quite a large amount of chocolate chips and the like.

 

(This is somewhat more serious than candy theft, and I also instituted a new rule of "no bringing junk food in the house or you're both grounded, I don't want to hear that it was your sister, stop throwing each other under the bus". I've assured them that it's a temporary measure, but until I'm convinced the habit is well and truly broken, every time I see a bag of chips or a bottle of soda I think "Where the heck did they get the money to buy that!?" and worry. No good for my blood pressure. Besides, they had an equally awful habit of tossing their wrappers behind the couch, and ick.)

[marbel]

We have had that problem off and on.   It turned out that "people" thought that food in the kitchen cupboard for up for grabs, while food in the "pantry" (really just a shelf in the laundry room) was off limits.   So, now I keep a mason jar of cheap chocolate chips in the kitchen cupboard.  I understand the need for the occasional handful of chocolate.  But my stash for baking, etc., is on the pantry shelf which is just as accessible as the kitchen cupboard, physically, but somehow has a psychological barrier around it.  

 

Probably not helpful at all to you.

 

Can you tell them not to eat anything [from a specific shelf or other area] because it is being saved for a purpose and it is to their benefit to allow that to happen?

[plain jane]

It's the weirdest thing, but my kids always ask for food even though I have told them they don't have to.  With the exception of something I might want set aside (which I announce) I don't expect anyone to ask me for food and they do every time.

 

So, I'm no help! 

 

Mine do too.  All the time, for everything.  One will get the idea they want an apple and ask.  So then the next one asks.  And the next.  And the next. And the next.  I tell them, please just go get it, you don't need to ask.  But then there's my mystery food stealer.  I really don't get it.

[plain jane]

I'm just happy to hear that we are not the only household this happens in.  I feared that maybe I was doing something really wrong.

 

I'll just make sure I have extras of things and let it go.  I would appreciate a nod if my stash is getting low.  It really is disappointing to everyone when we all think there's Christmas chocolate left and really it's been gone for weeks.  I could have bought more, you know? But hey, it's true, if this is the worst I deal with then that's a pretty good thing. :)

[Guest]

Here's my suggestion: put a heart-shaped candy box in the pantry and fill it with gold-foil-wrapped beef bouillon cubes. The food sneaker might find this was a bad gamble. ;)

[prairiewindmomma]

This is a common challenge.

 

Buy a lock box, or hide the things if leaving gentle notes doesn't work.

 

When I buy special things, I tend to buy two--we eat one as a treat, and then I leave a note that xyz item is for something that I'm making later on. My 4 yo doesn't always understand this, though, so I put the chocolate chips in the back of the freezer.

[Petrichor]

My DS at 5 definitely could have(and did!) climbed up to the highest shelf to sneak sweets if he knew they were there. And at 7yrs he still wouldn't tell me without a LOT of probing if he was guilty of X.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Mine do too.  All the time, for everything.  One will get the idea they want an apple and ask.  So then the next one asks.  And the next.  And the next. And the next.  I tell them, please just go get it, you don't need to ask.  But then there's my mystery food stealer.  I really don't get it.

 

Hmm...that is mysterious. 

[marbel]

Mine do too.  All the time, for everything.  One will get the idea they want an apple and ask.  So then the next one asks.  And the next.  And the next. And the next.  I tell them, please just go get it, you don't need to ask.  But then there's my mystery food stealer.  I really don't get it.

 

Wait up, I'm confused.  I'm sure I'm missing something and having a reading comprehension problem, but I can't figure it out.

 

You tell the kids they don't have to ask for food.   So, if you tell them they don't have to ask for food, why are you considering it "sneaking?"    Or is there a specific set of food they are allowed to eat without asking, and no other?  And someone is sneaking the other, disallowed food?  If so, is that clear to them?   

 

I do get having some food that is off limits. When we are having company, and I've got something planned, it's going to make me angry if someone eats a critical ingredient.  (Chocolate is often a critical ingredient. :-) )  But certain cheeses I might pick up, or drinks, might be off limits because it's for a specific purpose.  But it's clear to everyone what they may and may not eat.  

[Ausmumof3]

Hmmm. I'm my house that would probably be me. Do you have a reasonable range of snacks that they are allowed to just eat whenever? I tend to find we do best with junk type food if we only buy it when we want to consume it. Again, mostly because of me ...

[unsinkable]

I'm wondering if this is within the realm or "normal" or if this would be an issue.

 

I try to find a balance in our lives when it comes to what the kids eat. A lot of them have allergies so that really limits their choices to begin with. During winter months, I admit that I do limit sugar intake both for immune system and also behaviour. The kids know this and we talk about why. On top of severe food allergies, I also have one who reacts very poorly with red dye. Neither of my parents have a sweet tooth so I grew up not having dessert often and as a result, it's not something we have often either. It not something I think of unless we have company come over.

 

An ongoing issue here is that snack food disappears. I never see it being eaten, but it disappears and nobody will own up to it being them. I don't ask in anger, I'm just truly curious who is eating it and what I can do to curb this a bit. Stuff like the chocolate chips that I buy for baking. I'll go to make chocolate chip pancakes (I do so once or twice a week) or muffins and the bag is almost empty when it was full the week prior. Or, all of a sudden ½ the halloween candy in the closet is gone or the box of chocolates that I was given by a friend for Christmas is ½ empty when I had only eaten 1. I bought marshmallows for a science project and intended to make Rice Crispy squares out of the remainder but when I grabbed the bag, there were two left. Yet, nobody will own up to eating them. We had put all our Christmas candy in a bowl and we were going to have some slowly over a few weeks rather than all at once (the kids as a group suggested this). Well, I forgot about it for a couple weeks and when I went back to give some out to them all, it was all gone. :( This is the sort of thing that happens. I think I know who it is but when I've confronted them in a non-confrontational manner they acted all offended and they got all angry with me for accusing them.

 

When I bake cookies or muffins, they go in a tin and the kids are welcome to help themselves whenever. This goes for whatever fruits and vegetables are on the counter.

 

I guess I am a bit frustrated that my baking materials disappear so quickly and without my knowing. We live a ways out of town so it is often days later before I can get in to buy what I need to bake or make treats. But maybe because we don't have cookies and goodies around a lot that's what the kids see as treats?

 

Do you think that it is an issue of sorts that food is disappearing like this? I'll be honest that it bothers me, but here's why: I typically put the chocolate chips or candies up on the top shelf because my little kids (3, 5) will eat them non stop if they have access to them all the time. I'm not opposed to them having sweets and candy from time to time but we all know how little kids binge. So, I know it's one of my older kids. But when the older kids sneak food that I don't know they are eating then the little kids never get anything. Like the marshmallows- somebody ate them all and the little kids never even got to eat one. I'm a bit tired of hiding food in my own house. It's not that I even want to hide food, but I do need some of it to be there when I need it. I also think it can lead to unhealthy eating habits if one of my kids feels they need to sneak all this food.

 

Do your kids eat all your baking stuff and goodies? I could use a bit of insight from other parents here.

No, this isn't normal for my family. It might be normal in the culture of food you created for your home.

 

One of the biggest lines that jumped out at me is: "we all know how little kids binge."

 

I am not familiar with that. I've had little kids, (and big kids!) go thru growth spurts where they are hungrier and eat more than they previously did. I wouldn't use the word "binge" with preschool aged kids to describe it.

 

Binge is an odd word to use with such little kids. Your post is filled with loaded words, IMO.

 

I would be very concerned that the culture of food in your home has your children lying to you about eating.

[foxbridgeacademy]

It's the weirdest thing, but my kids always ask for food even though I have told them they don't have to.  With the exception of something I might want set aside (which I announce) I don't expect anyone to ask me for food and they do every time.

 

So, I'm no help! 

:iagree:  This is how we are too. If it's something I need I tell them when I bring it home.... "I bought Choc. chips, don't eat them they're for the cookies" but then they expect me to actually make the cookies. :glare: But then they go and ask if they can eat things.... I'm not sure if they're being polite or if they're worried they'll get food poisoning from something that's been in there way to long.

 

 

 

*In our house there is no such thing as "stealing". What's ours is theirs, DH and I work very hard, and it's not for us (we'd be bums on the beach if we didn't have kids).

[Catwoman]

I am less concerned about the missing food than I am by the fact that no one will admit to taking it. That doesn't make sense to me if they know they won't get into trouble if they simply say that they ate it.

 

One thing I don't understand is that you don't want to open the cabinet and discover that someone ate all of the chocolate chips, yet you seemingly don't tell the kids not to touch the chocolate chips because you need them for pancakes or muffins.

 

I'm confused. As usual. :)

[City Mouse]

My DD went through a period of sneaking, although it was chips not sweets. The biggest issues is that she would eat the food that was planned for her brother's lunch. No matter what I tried, she just could not stop. She has known impulse control issues in other areas as well.

I had to stop buying the offending foods. I bought substitute foods such pretzels and tortilla chips that were not as tempting.

 

So I agree with just not buying sweets for a while unless they will be consumed immediately with everyone. That might help break the habit.

[maize]

I went into a major growth spurt around age 10 and was constantly hungry and craving sweets.

 

Once I stopped growing the cravings disappeared.

[FO4UR]

Put the suspect in charge of baking the sweets.

 

Make it one of her family duties, and cheerfully take it seriously. It will be a healthy change in more than one way.

 

My kids don't sneak food. They do a lot of cooking and baking on their own. Preparing the food is part of enjoying it for them.

 

Sneaking creates an unhealthy dynamic for the child. I'd curb that asap by assigning more control and responsibility.

 

Pick a recipe. Make a list. Shop. Bake. Clean up. All on the child. It is satisfying, and the choc chips will stop disappearing.

[StephanieZ]

Totally normal. All three of my kids will do that. They own up to it, but they don't/won't get in trouble for it. 

 

I'd suggest not asking anymore, as obviously, they're lying, and that's bad. The eating junk is just normal. The habit of lying is normal, too, but not a good thing. So, for sure, I'd stop asking, as that's just asking for lies at this point. 

 

My kids won't get (much) grief from me unless it's some specific thing I've just bought for a specific dish, in which case I clearly tell them . ..  and have been known to hide the bag and/or put a big label on it with death threats to anyone who eats it and with explanation of what it is for . . . When I made candies last weekend for Valentine's, I put the tray for the party in the "extra" fridge wrapped tightly with plastic and with a big label across the top "DO NOT TOUCH!!!! FOR PARTY!!" and left all the "free range" ones in the regular fridge . . . I did this because I have learned from experience, lol. 

 

I moan a bit when they've eaten 5# bag of chips in a month and I haven't seen ANY baking evidence of proper use, lol. But, I don't get angry about it. I more whine a little in a light hearted way, and I DO try to get them to put things on the grocery list when they're eating up staples. (Chocolate is a staple, right!?!)

 

I've learned to buy HUGE bags of chocolate chips (at Sam's), and I remember to pick up another bag when the current bag has been opened, as we go through a bag in a couple months, and I never want to run out. I have an entire chocolate DRAWER (and it's large and deep) in the kitchen, lol. Holds about 20# of various chocolates plus some baking sugars, lol. Even so, I know that if I'm planning on baking a bunch, I better check the quantities left ahead of time and resupply. I just assume that if I haven't seen the supply within a few days, I better buy more. I use about 1/2 bag of mini chocolate chips per pancake batch, but I buy 4-6 bags at a time anytime we get at all low . . .

 

Today, by dd's computer in the kitchen, I found a marshmallow bag with THREE left (hadn't been opened, bought them for s'mores that didn't get made, tried to put them in an inconspicuous corner of the pantry for later . . . not inconspicuous enough, lol.

 

Nearly weekly, I find a paper towel or bowl of chocolate chips by the same computer . . .

 

So, anyway, I'd suggest buying chocolate in larger quantities. :) And, label anything you REALLY don't want them to eat. (We live 20 min from the nearest grocery, so it's really a hassle if we're out of something and I really need/want to make it right then.) 

 

 

Edited February 17, 2017 by StephanieZ

[Zinnia]

I have one kid who does. And when I find wrappers in her room, I remind her, "Ants!"

But I also tell her that she doesn't need to sneak food. If she wants to eat it, eat it.

Because I will always find out.

 

We have this exact scenario.  Except I remind, "rats!"   :D

 

It hasn't curbed the behavior one single bit, though.

 

OP, I find it frustrating, too.  I have taken to not buying treats very often of even the slightest variety.  And when I do, I buy enough (and plan for) it to be eaten in one or two sittings.  The one thing that they have not eaten is the glass bottle cokes that my dad gets me every Christmas.  I lurve these, and I stretch the six out all year round.  I try to have the last one in October or November.  This makes my children insane (can't you just drink them already?  Why are you saving them?), but I keep them out of sight/out of mind, and I think the opening of the bottle is enough deterrent.  

Edited February 17, 2017 by Zinnia

[happi duck]

Sugar is my downfall *but* I don't like chocolate chips on their own. Even if I buy "fancy" brands they are not in danger of being eaten outside of being contained within a recipe.

 

I am in shock that anyone would want to eat them.

 

My kids also ask about food even though they never needed to... weirdos! ;)

[Catwoman]

Totally normal. All three of my kids will do that. They own up to it, but they don't/won't get in trouble for it.

 

I'd suggest not asking anymore, as obviously, they're lying, and that's bad. The eating junk is just normal. The habit of lying is normal, too, but not a good thing. So, for sure, I'd stop asking, as that's just asking for lies at this point.

 

My kids won't get (much) grief from me unless it's some specific thing I've just bought for a specific dish, in which case I clearly tell them . .. and have been known to hide the bag and/or put a big label on it with death threats to anyone who eats it and with explanation of what it is for . . . When I made candies last weekend for Valentine's, I put the tray for the party in the "extra" fridge wrapped tightly with plastic and with a big label across the top "DO NOT TOUCH!!!! FOR PARTY!!" and left all the "free range" ones in the regular fridge . . . I did this because I have learned from experience, lol.

 

I moan a bit when they've eaten 5# bag of chips in a month and I haven't seen ANY baking evidence of proper use, lol. But, I don't get angry about it. I more whine a little in a light hearted way, and I DO try to get them to put things on the grocery list when they're eating up staples. (Chocolate is a staple, right!?!)

 

I've learned to buy HUGE bags of chocolate chips (at Sam's), and I remember to pick up another bag when the current bag has been opened, as we go through a bag in a couple months, and I never want to run out. I have an entire chocolate DRAWER (and it's large and deep) in the kitchen, lol. Holds about 20# of various chocolates plus some baking sugars, lol. Even so, I know that if I'm planning on baking a bunch, I better check the quantities left ahead of time and resupply. I just assume that if I haven't seen the supply within a few days, I better buy more. I use about 1/2 bag of mini chocolate chips per pancake batch, but I buy 4-6 bags at a time anytime we get at all low . . .

 

Today, by dd's computer in the kitchen, I found a marshmallow bag with THREE left (hadn't been opened, bought them for s'mores that didn't get made, tried to put them in an inconspicuous corner of the pantry for later . . . not inconspicuous enough, lol.

 

Nearly weekly, I find a paper towel or bowl of chocolate chips by the same computer . . .

 

So, anyway, I'd suggest buying chocolate in larger quantities. :) And, label anything you REALLY don't want them to eat. (We live 20 min from the nearest grocery, so it's really a hassle if we're out of something and I really need/want to make it right then.)

I don't think the habit of lying is normal, nor do I think it's acceptable. I also think the OP should be able to ask who ate the food without worrying that she will be asking for lies. The kids shouldn't be lying about who ate the food. If a child lied to me about food, I would be concerned that he might be lying about other things as well.

 

I do like your idea of labeling the food that she doesn't want them to eat, so there will be no question about what is available for snacking and what the OP needs for meals or baking.

[kiwik]

It would be an issue here but I come from a background where you never helped yourself to food unless it was growing on a tree or in the garden or was an agreed thing.  I am guessing I will come up with some arrangement for what the kids can help themselves to when they are at high school but at the moment not before.

 

eta.  This is not to say I never did just that I felt very guilty if I did help myself to an extra biscuit or something.

Edited February 17, 2017 by kiwik

[workingmom]

 

I'm just happy to hear that we are not the only household this happens in. I feared that maybe I was doing something really wrong.

 

Wow I'm so relieved you started this thread.

[TechWife]

I don't understand the concept of stealing food that is in your own house. It seems like an unhealthy dynamic to me. If someone ate the chocolate chips, then they ate the chocolate chips, they didn't steal them. In our home food doesn't belong to any one person. It s there for everyone.

 

I agree with another poster on the "binging" comment. I have never heard of a preschooler binging, nor do most people of any age make a habit of binging. If you truly have a child with this problem, then I suggest you work with a nutritionist to find a healthy balance in the foods you have available in your home. It is possible that the foods you have aren't meeting the nutritional needs of one or more of your children.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I think I'm in the slight minority here, but I am someone who wants to find food where I left it and would definitely put this in the discipline category.  The food "belongs" to the whole family the same way my DH's salary "belongs" to the whole family.  It is used to all of our benefit, but it is distributed by the adults.    

 

I have absolutely zero doubts that my kids are getting adequate calories throughout the day.  

 

It is my understanding that it is a very "European" thing for kids to not snack constantly.  At any rate, it's something I've adopted in our family and it works just fine.  We have a hot breakfast, a generous lunch, and a healthy dinner.   We also have afternoon snack, which is a "formal sit-down" fourth meal.  Afternoon snack involves fruit, some kind of protein usually, and a small sweet of some kind or another. Sometimes it will be a homemade baked good and I'll forego the fruit and protein.  

 

If the sneaking were happening in my house, I'd start by talking (in a non-confrontational way) that these items are ear-marked for recipes and not up for grabs.  I'd point out that taking just one is as much disobedience as taking the whole package, and I'd tell them I'd be putting a sticky note on all the ear-marked items and that hungry kids were welcome to have fruit or a slice of cheese.  I might make them watch a documentary about the evils of sugar.  lol  

 

If that didn't work, I'd treat it as a discipline issue, and, although I'll probably be flamed for saying it, I would probably punish the group if no one was willing to admit guilt.  Punish might include- no snack time sweet for a week, extra chores, etc.  

 

I also liked someone's suggestion to get the perpetrator involved in the baking so that they "own" the process and see the advantage of leaving the baked goods be.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

I think I'm in the slight minority here, but I am someone who wants to find food where I left it and would definitely put this in the discipline category.  The food "belongs" to the whole family the same way my DH's salary "belongs" to the whole family.  It is used to all of our benefit, but it is distributed by the adults.    

 

I have absolutely zero doubts that my kids are getting adequate calories throughout the day.  

 

It is my understanding that it is a very "European" thing for kids to not snack constantly.  At any rate, it's something I've adopted in our family and it works just fine.  We have a hot breakfast, a generous lunch, and a healthy dinner.   We also have afternoon snack, which is a "formal sit-down" fourth meal.  Afternoon snack involves fruit, some kind of protein usually, and a small sweet of some kind or another. Sometimes it will be a homemade baked good and I'll forego the fruit and protein.  

 

If the sneaking were happening in my house, I'd start by talking (in a non-confrontational way) that these items are ear-marked for recipes and not up for grabs.  I'd point out that taking just one is as much disobedience as taking the whole package, and I'd tell them I'd be putting a sticky note on all the ear-marked items and that hungry kids were welcome to have fruit or a slice of cheese.  I might make them watch a documentary about the evils of sugar.  lol  

 

If that didn't work, I'd treat it as a discipline issue, and, although I'll probably be flamed for saying it, I would probably punish the group if no one was willing to admit guilt.  Punish might include- no snack time sweet for a week, extra chores, etc.  

 

I also liked someone's suggestion to get the perpetrator involved in the baking so that they "own" the process and see the advantage of leaving the baked goods be.  

 

There is no blanket statement one can make about Europeans.  Except maybe that they are human.  My in-laws snack constantly.  CONSTANTLY. 

 

Sorry...I get a little sore when people claim Europeans are SO MUCH DIFFERENT and we are all just a bunch of lawless weirdos here.  So so not true! 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

There is no blanket statement one can make about Europeans.  Except maybe that they are human.  My in-laws snack constantly.  CONSTANTLY. 

 

Sorry...I get a little sore when people claim Europeans are SO MUCH DIFFERENT and we are all just a bunch of lawless weirdos here.  So so not true! 

 

 

Sorry, haha, generalizations are never a great idea.  However, it is certainly my observation in the (many) families I know here in Switzerland.  

[maize]

There is no blanket statement one can make about Europeans. Except maybe that they are human. My in-laws snack constantly. CONSTANTLY.

 

Sorry...I get a little sore when people claim Europeans are SO MUCH DIFFERENT and we are all just a bunch of lawless weirdos here. So so not true!

Agree!

 

There've been a number of books out in North America about how superior French child rearing is, one of the things lauded is that French kids eat whatever they are offered and don't snack.

 

Having spent years among French kids in French schools in France, I call BS on that claim. At school at least, they eat only what they like of those famous hot lunch meals, and the vast majority have snacks and candy in their pockets and back packs that they happily munch on between classes.

[fairfarmhand]

I think I'm in the slight minority here, but I am someone who wants to find food where I left it and would definitely put this in the discipline category.  The food "belongs" to the whole family the same way my DH's salary "belongs" to the whole family.  It is used to all of our benefit, but it is distributed by the adults.    

 

I have absolutely zero doubts that my kids are getting adequate calories throughout the day.  

 

It is my understanding that it is a very "European" thing for kids to not snack constantly.  At any rate, it's something I've adopted in our family and it works just fine.  We have a hot breakfast, a generous lunch, and a healthy dinner.   We also have afternoon snack, which is a "formal sit-down" fourth meal.  Afternoon snack involves fruit, some kind of protein usually, and a small sweet of some kind or another. Sometimes it will be a homemade baked good and I'll forego the fruit and protein.  

 

If the sneaking were happening in my house, I'd start by talking (in a non-confrontational way) that these items are ear-marked for recipes and not up for grabs.  I'd point out that taking just one is as much disobedience as taking the whole package, and I'd tell them I'd be putting a sticky note on all the ear-marked items and that hungry kids were welcome to have fruit or a slice of cheese.  I might make them watch a documentary about the evils of sugar.  lol  

 

If that didn't work, I'd treat it as a discipline issue, and, although I'll probably be flamed for saying it, I would probably punish the group if no one was willing to admit guilt.  Punish might include- no snack time sweet for a week, extra chores, etc.  

 

I also liked someone's suggestion to get the perpetrator involved in the baking so that they "own" the process and see the advantage of leaving the baked goods be.  

 

I would sit everyone down and talk about the problem, quickly and succintly. Then I'd buy a bag of chip not intended for baking alongside my bag of chocolate chips for baking. I'd show them "This is for baking." Then I'd divide up the extra bag into snack sized portions for the kids. Each bag would be labeled and I'd put the littles' bags where I could get them. The deal is though, if you eat yours before the week is up, there will be no more.

 

I'd also mention that if mom's bag for baking continues to disappear, there will be no more treats.

[unsinkable]

I don't think the habit of lying is normal, nor do I think it's acceptable. I also think the OP should be able to ask who ate the food without worrying that she will be asking for lies. The kids shouldn't be lying about who ate the food. If a child lied to me about food, I would be concerned that he might be lying about other things as well.

 

I do like your idea of labeling the food that she doesn't want them to eat, so there will be no question about what is available for snacking and what the OP needs for meals or baking.

I'm with you. I don't think the habit of lying is normal, either.

 

Some dynamic has been created with food that the kid(s) deny eating food they've eaten. Why would that be "normal?"

 

I know I've asked, "Has anyone seen the..." fill in blank with food, whether it be an ingredient, or a snack or (very often) a leftover.

 

If my family all said they didn't eat the leftover Chipotle, I'm going to be on a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in the area...I want that leftover chicken rice bowl!! It wouldn't be fair to let me look for something they know is gone.

[fairfarmhand]

I don't understand the concept of stealing food that is in your own house. It seems like an unhealthy dynamic to me. If someone ate the chocolate chips, then they ate the chocolate chips, they didn't steal them. In our home food doesn't belong to any one person. It s there for everyone.

 

I agree with another poster on the "binging" comment. I have never heard of a preschooler binging, nor do most people of any age make a habit of binging. If you truly have a child with this problem, then I suggest you work with a nutritionist to find a healthy balance in the foods you have available in your home. It is possible that the foods you have aren't meeting the nutritional needs of one or more of your children.

 

I have a normal healthy kid who loved the sensation of eating. I had to monitor her because she would eat so much she'd throw up. If I didn't, she'd make herself sick. When we'd go visit a family member, they would feed her as much as she wanted of whatever she wanted. She'd throw up there a lot, because this family member insisted that "She will stop when she gets full!"

 

For my kid, it was that she was very out of touch with her body. She'd focus so much on what she was doing (the pleasure of eating) that she wasn't aware of a too full tummy. IT was like this with a lot of things, pottying, (didn't realize the need was urgent until it was too late) wasn't aware that she was over tired, she just felt grumpy, totally normal kid, but just very out of touch with herself, lacking self awareness.

 

She grew out of it around the age of 12 or so. No nutritionist needed. Just lagging skills in certain areas. Very bright in many areas, lagging in others.

 

None of my other kids had this problem, so it's not a family dynamic around food.

[amyx4]

I don't know if what we do will help you but in my house, if you empty something, you need to bring me the container so I can add it to my shopping list. I started this in desperation when the kids where too little to write on my shopping list. So instead of putting the last empty box of cereal in the recycle bin they were instructed to put it next to the coffee maker.  I have a small love affair with my coffee maker but you can designated any spot that works for you.

 

Now, they pretty much do it for anything. Want new socks? Bring me a pile of old ones with holes! Want more construction paper? Bring me the empty package. Contact solution, shaving cream, paper towels. Today, I woke up to an empty container of baking powder next to my coffee maker. 

 

With lots of kids and living not too close to the stores it has helped save my sanity.

Edited February 17, 2017 by amyx4

[SKL]

I have one kid who does. And when I find wrappers in her room, I remind her, "Ants!"

But I also tell her that she doesn't need to sneak food. If she wants to eat it, eat it.

Because I will always find out.

 

Same here.  Nowadays I really don't limit it but I ask them to keep it in the kitchen.  I have noticed a reduction in candy / wrappers in the bedroom finally (after 5 years of dealing with this problem).

 

I also have a brother who used to steal and sneak sugary treats.  No idea how or when or if that ever ended.

 

To the question whether this is an issue - my jury is out on that.  I treated it like a problem for years, because my kid's behavior was affected by the sugar.  Her self-control seems to have improved enough that I leave it up to her if she wants to eat sugar or not.  It is probably not the best thing, but it's not the worst thing either.

 

We did have a few incidents of outright stealing from others outside the family.  Whether that was my fault for limiting sweets at home, I'm not sure.  :/

[SKL]

I don't know if what we do will help you but in my house, if you empty something, you need to bring me the container so I can add it to my shopping list. I started this in desperation when the kids where too little to write on my shopping list. So instead of putting the last empty box of cereal in the recycle bin they were instructed to put it next to the coffee maker.  I have a small love affair with my coffee maker but you can designated any spot that works for you.

 

Now, they pretty much do it for anything. Want new socks? Bring me a pile of old ones with holes! Want more construction paper? Bring me the empty package. Contact solution, shaving cream, paper towels. Today, I woke up to an empty container of baking powder next to my coffee maker. 

 

With lots of kids and living not too close to the stores it has helped save my sanity.

 

Same here - and I always thank them for telling me right away - even if I would have preferred that they didn't eat/use/rip the stuff.  :)

 

[SKL]

As for what to do about stuff being gone when you go to bake, I would make my kids use their free time to go to the store and replace the stuff.  :)

[TABmom]

I want to comment on "little kids don't binge". Mine absolutely would if I let them. If there are cookies, candy, cupcakes- my kids will eat until they are gone. I know not ALL kids do this- but it can't be THAT uncommon. There are plenty of things my kids can help themselves to- cheese sticks, fruit, veggies, pb&j, but sugar is not in that category for us. If my kids were sneaking sugar, it would be obvious, because they wouldn't be eating anything else.

[Farrar]

If you can afford to get extra, I think that's what I'd do. I know it's not great for kids to binge or go overboard - I do think many little kids will overindulge if not given limits or not used to having limits. I know some kids who only ever get the tiniest bit of snack or sweet foods and when they start at someone else's house they do not know how to stop. But if they have sweet tooths, I think it's better for them to practice some restraint and moderation, but that means having some access routinely.

 

I think what you want is for them to get in the habit of asking for things in the cabinet (as opposed to things like the fruit and veggies that are always out and available). So I'd talk to them, emphasize the need to ask, then quietly buy more chocolate chips and be semi-generous about giving them like four or five chocolate chips when they ask assuming it's not constant. That shouldn't deplete the supply too soon. And if you see them disappearing faster, then that's a few talk.

[SKL]

I want to comment on "little kids don't binge". Mine absolutely would if I let them. If there are cookies, candy, cupcakes- my kids will eat until they are gone. I know not ALL kids do this- but it can't be THAT uncommon. There are plenty of things my kids can help themselves to- cheese sticks, fruit, veggies, pb&j, but sugar is not in that category for us. If my kids were sneaking sugar, it would be obvious, because they wouldn't be eating anything else.

 

I have one daughter who would eat as much as she was allowed as a baby, and even now will binge on certain things.  Not usually sugar in her case, but she's been known to eat a whole package (like 10 pieces) of buffalo chicken (covered in sour cream) for a snack.  :/  Every so often she will do something like that, randomly.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I would sit everyone down and talk about the problem, quickly and succintly. Then I'd buy a bag of chip not intended for baking alongside my bag of chocolate chips for baking. I'd show them "This is for baking." Then I'd divide up the extra bag into snack sized portions for the kids. Each bag would be labeled and I'd put the littles' bags where I could get them. The deal is though, if you eat yours before the week is up, there will be no more.

 

I'd also mention that if mom's bag for baking continues to disappear, there will be no more treats.

 

This is a great idea.  This is how we do Halloween candy as well.  We combine the haul, each kid gets to pick out X number of candies for their individual ziplock bag, the other's go to the break room at daddy's work.  I then tell them they can eat the candy whenever they want, so long as it's gone in 2 weeks.  

[amy g.]

My kids ask before eating anything. They don't snack much at all. In the den we have bowls of candy left over from their Christmas stockings and even some from Halloween. About every two weeks, someone asks me if they can have a piece of candy after lunch.

 

In the dining room there are cupcakes my Dd made for Valentine's Day. They ate one with dinner that night, but no one has touched them since. I'm going to tell them that what doesn't get eaten today gets thrown away so it doesn't start molding.

 

I do keep chocolate chips in the freezer for my teenager. I think she only eats them when she has PMS. Dh also eats them if he has skipped lunch and is starving. I try to make sure we always have 2 bags so if I want some for math counters or baking them we have them.

 

If one of my kids started snacking or "sneaking food" I would look at what they are eating for meals. Are they getting enough protein and fat to sustain them to the next meal, or are they eating foods that are going to raise their blood sugar then send them into a crash.

 

Yesterday, my 7 year old asked if she could have an apple after History. I looked at the time, and it was 3:00 pm. I hadn't even made lunch yet. No wonder she was hungry!

 

I do find the concepts of binging and sneaking and locking up food to be foreign.

[fairfarmhand]

 

I do find the concepts of binging and sneaking and locking up food to be foreign.

 

Growing up, we would not have ever helped ourselves to something without asking. Our family was on an extremely tight budget. While we had enough, that was exactly what we had...no extra. If one family member over indulged, that meant that other family members had to do without.

 

My dh's family was the same.

 

My family is not quite that tight on food budget, but there are certain things that I don't want people to help themselves to without asking. We live 25 minutes from where I typically shop and if things get used up, I don't like having to make another trip out.

 

I do plan our meals so there is enough, in fact, plenty of food for everyone to fill up on nutritious things. But if a child would rather not eat additional veggies at dinner, I don't want them helping themselves to my baking items when the munchies hit an hour or two later. That's just annoying!

[Anne in CA]

There is no blanket statement one can make about Europeans.  Except maybe that they are human.  My in-laws snack constantly.  CONSTANTLY. 

 

Sorry...I get a little sore when people claim Europeans are SO MUCH DIFFERENT and we are all just a bunch of lawless weirdos here.  So so not true! 

LOL, the thing about this that makes me laugh is that Europeans are so moderate in the alcohol consumption because it is not forbidden from a young age. This is just not true according to sooo many Europeans that I have worked with and the Europeans who have married into dh's family. Dh's BIL from Denmark says that he had a class trip to Paris the year he was 16. The class trip was to last a week and the reason for the trip was French immersion so the teacher simply let all the kids do whatever they wanted. The legal drinking age in France was 16 and more than half of the class simply got drunk for a week and stayed drunk, lol.