Things I am NOT doing this year

[SKL]

Oh, as for crafts ... I used to have the kids do those years ago.  Cute little ornaments with their photo inserted, etc.  I didn't get the impression that anyone was thrilled to receive them, and frankly I don't have time for them.  :P  If one of us was especially crafty, I could see it, but we aren't.

[Guest]

I'm not baking cookies. I enjoy baking generally. I have good memories of baking Christmas cookies. But it's been a rough few months and I'm feeling pretty unappreciated due to general attitudes and lack of cooperation, so I decided that this is one area in which Mom doesn't have to put herself out for everyone. I sort of feel bad about it. But not bad enough to do it.

Oh, amen and amen! My birthday is coming up and the fake appreciation for 12 hours makes me nuts. Hugs to you!

[chiguirre]

I outsourced tree decoration to Trinqueta and Geezle and they did an excellent job. We'll be in an AirBNB in Miami this year and I'm not going to cook. We'll buy a prepared lechon, hallacas, pan de jamon, etc. All I'll make is a nice salad. I'm looking forward to not stressing over Christmas and New Year's dinners.

[regentrude]

I particularly dislike the whole 'once a year friends' cards. If I do not see you or speak to you or write to you in a full 12 months, why are we keeping in touch ? It becomes about obligation, not genuine expressions of warmth. 

I don't really care what your (general) family has been doing this last year if we are not actually in relationship.

 

I see many of my good friends only once a year, when I travel home. And it is magical how we just pick up where we left off the year before - it feels, as if we had never been separated. The connection is still there, so we do have a relationship, even though we only touch base infrequently.

I realize that when a person is leaving, the ones who remain behind carry on as usual and are not as acutely aware that somebody left as the person who did the leaving. It was hard for me to acknowledge at first; now I am just grateful that when we do meet, we can go back right to our friendship - even though there is an ocean between us for the rest of the year.

And the funny thing is: friends who live in the same city may not have seen each other all year, but meet again at my annual party I have when I am back home and enjoy each other's company as well ;)

 

So, I still feel close to them. That's why I write everybody a letter at Christmas. Because I, too, am involved in my life here, work and family, and am no longer diligent about keeping in touch on a regular basis. But I still want them in my life.

Edited December 6, 2016 by regentrude

[Alicia64]

My out-of-state sister doesn't homeschool and lives on two (I'm pretty sure) solid incomes. She spends a lot on my kids and seems to want me to reciprocate. We live on one income.

 

I've actually tried to keep up with her gift giving, but I have five kids to buy for -- plus my own two boys. I can't a fortune on all of the cousins.

 

So this year -- like last -- I'm giving the cousins magazine subscriptions. I also take a hard copy, attach a hot chocolate package and mail that for them to open on Xmas. Mailing isn't cheap either.

 

I'm sure my sister thinks I'm a cheap-o.

 

Oh well.

 

Alley

[Hilltopmom]

We're listing our house, getting it ready to show, pack, & move.

Not decorating anything due to that.

 

Teens chose not to do holiday shows & plays this year, happy bout that.

 

Adopting our toddler finally next week (he's been with us since birth), so will do some sort of adoption Xmas get together just with immediate family.

 

Not doing photo ( or any) cards this year, our 7 year old passed away this spring & I just don't want to write a " we lost a kid & gained a kid" letter, so we're also skipping adoption announcements which we've always done for our last adoptions.

 

Teens don't want anything & little kids don't know about the gift thing really, so we're putting most of our $ into the house closing & adoption fees

[Valley Girl]

Oh, amen and amen! My birthday is coming up and the fake appreciation for 12 hours makes me nuts. Hugs to you!

 

Back at you, Moxie! Have a happy birthday.

[TranquilMind]

I am not sending Christmas cards. Want to see my kids? Find me on FB! I'm done spending time and money on things people will throw away.

 

I'm not doing homemade gifts. I don't have time and most people would rather have a $10 Panera card anyway.

 

I'm not giving as many gifts. I'll still do end of the school year gifts but I'm not getting a Christmas gift for all the teachers, coaches, etc. that my 5 kids have.

 

All those little touches my kids never notice? Nope, done. One year the kids each got special wrapping paper. Not one of them noticed and it was a pain in the behind for me. No themes, no stressing about things matching. Done.

 

I'm done spending 6 weeks or more of my life trying to make this one day perfect. A week after it happens, I'm the only one that remembers.

 

Feel free to add yours.

 

I think I am the last person who still sends Christmas cards.  My SIL, who is older, did text me yesterday and say she got mine so she is sending me one. 

It's a dying thing and that's too bad.  I have happy memories of seeing my mom arrange them in patterns when I was a child. 

If I made anything, I would totally give that.  I would much appreciate that. 

 

My kids always notice that I did special groupings or used special wrapping for their gifts, but maybe I have fewer kids than you do, or they are just older. They didn't use to notice. 

 

You really are not the only one who remembers.  Your mom (if you still are blessed enough to have one) will never forget, just as you won't. 

 

[Spryte]

Reading through the thread, I am beginning to understand why I no longer receive cards. It's a bit sad to be on the receiving end of other people's simplifications, sigh.

Do those of you who cut out cards also not enjoy receiving them? Am I kidding myself when I think that me writing letters brings joy to the recipients?

I said no cards, but that was an overstatement. I send return cards for any we receive. But I no longer send a stack of 100 cards at once. I just can't. But doing it this way is easy. As they come in, I write out a card and mail it. I did one today. We still receive about 30 cards each year.

[thessa516]

I think I am the last person who still sends Christmas cards.  My SIL, who is older, did text me yesterday and say she got mine so she is sending me one. 

It's a dying thing and that's too bad.  I have happy memories of seeing my mom arrange them in patterns when I was a child. 

 

 

I'll send Christmas cards with you. I don't write a letter and most of the times I only include a simple holiday sentiment, but I love Christmas cards all the same. My grandma would arrange the cards in the middle of the dining room table. I have fond memories of looking through the cards. I love getting the cards in the mail.

[Kassia]

In the end, all Christmas cards get thrown out anyway. And most are given out of a sense of obligation. So, i prefer to just not participate in the whole rigamarole.

 

 

I don't throw out the photo cards and I keep some cards with personal messages in them.  

 

I know they are not for everyone, but receiving Christmas cards from certain people makes me very happy.  Obviously, the ones sent out of obligation are meaningless to me, but others mean a lot.  Just today I received one from a friend I don't know well and I was so touched that she included me on her Christmas card list.  She has a beautiful family and sent a photo card with a newsletter and I was absolutely thrilled - it made my day and I told her so.

Edited December 7, 2016 by Erica H

[regentrude]

And this, I just spent a week in FILs house after he passed away the day after thanksgiving. We, meaning SIL and I, threw out a lot of cards and notes.

 

But doesn't the fact that he kept them all show that, to him, they were valuable?

[Melissa B]

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards!

 

However, I cook very little, bake nothing, make nothing homemade and give very few gifts in general.

 

Even though we live in the south, I also like Christmas lights. I let my kids put them out in our yard and we all enjoy seeing the lights throughout the town.

[dirty ethel rackham]

December is hard for me.  Seasonal Affective Disorder.  No energy, depressed, but want something joyful but don't have the energy to make it happen.  In the past years we have cut back quite a bit.  My mom died 7 years ago in December and with her passing, most of my connections to family unraveled. 

 

No outdoor lights.  I love the brightness, but I can't put that on dh when I have so little energy for celebrating holidays.

 

Minimal baking.  Maybe 1 type of cookies as nostalgia for dh.  Dd may try to make potica (an ethnic tradition for dh), but the family who has been coaching her will not be doing it since they just had a huge family wedding. 

 

Not visiting anyone.  This one breaks my heart.  I was so looking forward to celebrating with my family ... something we did every year but sort of fell apart after my mom died.  One of my family members is hosting and is able to use points for hotel rooms.  And this is near dh's brother as well. But, K is refusing to go and we can't leave them for 2 days and I don't want to separate my family this year.  So we are staying home. 

 

Not sure about Christmas cards this year.  I did find a stash of cards that I bought on sale after Christmas one year.  I used to send out a fun picture card and letter.  But, K does not want their picture taken anymore and absolutely forbids us from sharing any pictures.  Plus, our news is pretty depressing.  K is home with no job and not in school.  (Stable on meds, but we have a very tenuous relationship.)  I do like getting cards, but I have less patience for the braggy or overly religious newsletters (all your problems will be solved if your faith was as good as ours "Praise Jesus!"  I'm still pretty PO'd at God about what is happening in my family so I hate these preachy letters. 

 

Minimal Christmas music.  K is home almost all the time and hates Christmas music. 

 

Minimal decorations.  I need to declutter but don't have the energy.  We will put up a tree, but probably when K is out of the house. 

 

No caroling.  The group that used to carol at the nursing home every Christmas eve has fallen apart.  The family that kept that tradition going for 20 years has stopped doing it.  I wanted to keep it going, but we just had too many crises and I just can't make it happen.  If it happened in July,, yeah, i could make it happen. 

 

No fancy wrapping.  I used to work in wrap and pack at a hoity department store and got really good at pretty packages.  I used to go all out.  Now, I search last minute for a gift bag and tissue. 

 

If it weren't for dh and dd, there wouldn't be much of a Christmas around here.   I just hope we can do something other than be buried in our phones this year.

[Barb_]

Reading through the thread, I am beginning to understand why I no longer receive cards. It's a bit sad to be on the receiving end of other people's simplifications, sigh.

Do those of you who cut out cards also not enjoy receiving them? Am I kidding myself when I think that me writing letters brings joy to the recipients?

I miss receiving cards and displaying them but not enough to start sending them again. Most were just a quick signature or a form letter anyway.

[jjeepa]

I don't throw out the photo cards and I keep some cards with personal messages in them.  

 

I know they are not for everyone, but receiving Christmas cards from certain people makes me very happy.  Obviously, the ones sent out of obligation are meaningless to me, but others mean a lot.  Just today I received one from a friend I don't know well and I was so touched that she included me on her Christmas card list.  She has a beautiful family and sent a photo card with a newsletter and I was absolutely thrilled - it made my day and I told her so.

 

I don't throw out the photo cards and letters either.  We've moved 5 times in our marriage and I really enjoy seeing pictures of our friends from far away places and reading about their lives, even if I already know about most of it.  I also enjoy receiving them from friends close by.  I didn't count last yet, but we do still receive quite a few.  

 

I also enjoy sending our own cards out.  We do a little photo shoot with an inexpensive camera and look for good deals on digital cards.  It does take a bit of time to address all the envelopes, but I do it listening to Christmas music and it gets me in the holiday spirit.  I'm weird  :001_smile:

 

I've cut way back on many other things.  No gift exchange between the 13 cousins as was done in the past.  No gifts outside the immediate family except for MIL and FIL, but those are standard/tradition now so it's easy - a Shutterfly calendar of the kids, which they love, and chocolate, which they also love.  

 

No travel.  In-laws are 3000 miles away.  It's just too expensive and too chaotic for us to travel in Dec.  We stopped that years ago and it's been fantastic to be at home.  We get together during the summer instead.  All good.  

 

No excessive baking.  Dd makes a few batches of her favorite things (I can't eat sugar so it's all her) and that makes dh and ds happy.  Thankful she's old enough to take that on now.

 

No crazy calendar.  I've become very careful about how I manage our time during the holiday season and that's helped tremendously.

 

My mom passed away in July and so this will be our first Christmas without her.  We used to spend much of the holiday with her.  Trying to give us all plenty of time to reminisce and grieve.  

Edited December 7, 2016 by jjeepa

[SKL]

I'm down to about 20-25 Christmas cards these days, though I will probably add a few (my kids' pen pals) this year.

 

People drop off my list if I no longer feel like we mutually care for each other.  There is no time limit.  I send cards to people I haven't otherwise communicated with in years.  And not everyone I do communicate with gets a card.

[theelfqueen]

I hand make and hand address my holiday cards. I love them.

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Corbster98]

We're listing our house, getting it ready to show, pack, & move.

Not decorating anything due to that.

 

Teens chose not to do holiday shows & plays this year, happy bout that.

 

Adopting our toddler finally next week (he's been with us since birth), so will do some sort of adoption Xmas get together just with immediate family.

 

Not doing photo ( or any) cards this year, our 7 year old passed away this spring & I just don't want to write a " we lost a kid & gained a kid" letter, so we're also skipping adoption announcements which we've always done for our last adoptions.

 

Teens don't want anything & little kids don't know about the gift thing really, so we're putting most of our $ into the house closing & adoption fees

I am so sorry for your loss. Yay for your adoption of your toddler! How bittersweet all of the feelings must be. 

Hugs Momma  :grouphug:

Edited December 7, 2016 by allySW

[Corbster98]

I am doing almost the bare minimums this Christmas season. We live in NC and my husband is leaving for his new Army post in Alaska in February and then heading off for a 9 month deployment soon after. I have a son leaving for college this coming summer ( :crying: )... all while my 13 yo and I are making the 4000+ mile drive to Alaska in June. Mom moved in with us after my Dad died in 2013 and she is not moving with us so we need to get her moved into her own place this Spring. I have a house to get ready and put on the market before we leave for Alaska.... and I homeschool my 13yo son. I am more than overwhelmed this year with so many CHANGES. 

 

So... we have a tree up with lights- and that is IT. I am not doing ornaments or decorating anything in the house. 

I bought everything online mostly and am not doing the crazy in store shopping. 

I am NOT making homemade gift bags for people complete with tons of homemade breads, treats and cookies. 

I don't do Christmas cards and we never receive any from people anymore anyway. 

The in- laws live only a few hours away from us and they have put in no EFFORT to see us or our boys since we were stationed here 4.5 years ago ( the closest we have lived to them in 12 years)... so I am putting in no effort to remember them this season. 

And I am not making a huge meal as I did for my family/ extended family for Thanksgiving. Nope, I want to enjoy this Christmas so a spread of appetizers it is and then I can sit down and enjoy my STEELERS game!!!

[HS Mom in NC]

 

Not doing photo ( or any) cards this year, our 7 year old passed away this spring & I just don't want to write a " we lost a kid & gained a kid" letter, so we're also skipping adoption announcements which we've always done for our last adoptions.

 

 

 

I'm so very sorry about the passing of your child.  I'm so very happy for you finalizing the adoption.

 

[El...]

:grouphug: for Hilltopmom

[Reefgazer]

I send about 30 cards per year, but get only a few from others.  I love sending and receiving cards, especially the ones with notes/family newsletters in them.  I think it's sad people don't like to send traditional cards anymore.

Reading through the thread, I am beginning to understand why I no longer receive cards. It's a bit sad to be on the receiving end of other people's simplifications, sigh.

Do those of you who cut out cards also not enjoy receiving them? Am I kidding myself when I think that me writing letters brings joy to the recipients? 

 

[Kassia]

:grouphug: For Hilltopmom

[wintermom]

 

This is also our first Christmas without Legos or Nerf in about fifteen years. :(

 

I think we're in the same boat here, too. I'm going to miss the Legos, but the Nerf bullets are still flying around (just no news guns).

[Evergreen State Sue]

I refuse to buy gift cards anymore.  If I can't find a gift that is special for the people on my list, I'll give cash in a card so that they can use it in any store, I have it handy, and it never expires.

 

On behalf of those of us who hate gift cards - thank you!  I do child care and some of the moms gave treats and cards.  I am truly very thankful, but a couple of the moms gave gift cards to Starbucks.  I don't drink coffee.  I know they have other stuff there, but I would have much preferred the $5 in cash.  I love the kiddos, but I'm really doing it for the money.  (I guess I really needed to say this - thanks for opportunity!)

[jjeepa]

Hilltopmom, wonderful adoption news and so sorry for your loss.  :grouphug:

[SparklyUnicorn]

On behalf of those of us who hate gift cards - thank you!  I do child care and some of the moms gave treats and cards.  I am truly very thankful, but a couple of the moms gave gift cards to Starbucks.  I don't drink coffee.  I know they have other stuff there, but I would have much preferred the $5 in cash.  I love the kiddos, but I'm really doing it for the money.  (I guess I really needed to say this - thanks for opportunity!)

 

Yeah I always think if the person does not go there regularly then they will have to go there AND spend more than $5 because it's impossible to spend exactly $5.  This is a magical concept for stores and restaurants.  Not so much as a gift.

 

If it really is to a store you know they go to regularly (grocery store, dept store, on-line store) then it's probably much appreciated.  But with a teacher, etc. people don't tend to know those details. 

[Garga]

Reading through the thread, I am beginning to understand why I no longer receive cards. It's a bit sad to be on the receiving end of other people's simplifications, sigh.

Do those of you who cut out cards also not enjoy receiving them? Am I kidding myself when I think that me writing letters brings joy to the recipients?

I love getting cards. I love getting the picture ones. I especially love ones with notes in them.

 

I will keep the picture ones and set them out every year in a basket and have fun going through them and seeing how people have changed. I keep any newsletters or cards with notes inside. I also keep any cards that I found especially nice to look at--the ones that are like little pieces of art or just struck my fancy.

 

In January, I will toss the ones that aren't photos, don't have notes, or whose design on the front didn't strike my fancy.

 

But it's a selfish love because I haven't sent out cards in over 15 years. I get fewer each year, either because other people don't send them, or because they weed me off their list since I don't reciprocate. I used to love doing cards, and then had kids and just didn't have it in me anymore.

 

 

As far as what I'm not doing this year....I'm doing everything. The only difference is that I'm spreading it out over a looooong time. We used to put up the tree, decorate it, and decorate the rest of the house in one day. Well, we started on the day after Thanksgiving and I'm just finishing with decorating right now. (Taking a break from it.). We lived in a bit of mess and chaos these past two weeks, but it was ok. I'd rather have the mess and do the decorating a little bit at a time than to kill ourselves on one day. It's been nicer and each part of the process has been enjoyable this time around.

 

So, we'll still make our paper snowflakes and our ugly graham-cracker house and make treats, but we'll spread it out over a longer period of time and live with clutter. It'll all go away in January. I'm ok with clutter this year.

 

 

ETA: Our Christmas traditions are pretty simple and easy to carry out, so I don't feel a need to cut back on them. We have always eaten out with the family on Christmas eve, so that's easy. We get Chinese on Christmas day--easy, we order almost all the gifts online--easy, the stockings haven't ever been a big deal--easy, decorations, baking, a few crafty things (paper snowflakes or glitter on pinecones)--easy, easy, easy. Thankfully, I never started any traditions that were too onerous in the first place.

Edited December 8, 2016 by Garga

[Garga]

We're listing our house, getting it ready to show, pack, & move.

Not decorating anything due to that.

 

Teens chose not to do holiday shows & plays this year, happy bout that.

 

Adopting our toddler finally next week (he's been with us since birth), so will do some sort of adoption Xmas get together just with immediate family.

 

Not doing photo ( or any) cards this year, our 7 year old passed away this spring & I just don't want to write a " we lost a kid & gained a kid" letter, so we're also skipping adoption announcements which we've always done for our last adoptions.

 

Teens don't want anything & little kids don't know about the gift thing really, so we're putting most of our $ into the house closing & adoption fees

 

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet, dear, precious one. If only there were words that could comfort.

[Jenny in Florida]

I could make a long list of the things I'm not doing this year, but the header would be:

 

Feeling Christmas-y.

 

I keep trying to kick myself into gear -- I've been mainlining bad holiday movies on Netflix and Hulu, and we spent yesterday at Epcot, where we managed to catch the Candlelight Processional and the holiday version of Illuminations -- but I keep slipping back into ennui.

[Jenny in Florida]

Not doing photo ( or any) cards this year, our 7 year old passed away this spring & I just don't want to write a " we lost a kid & gained a kid" letter, so we're also skipping adoption announcements which we've always done for our last adoptions.

 

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you a season of peace.

[Momto6inIN]

Reading through the thread, I am beginning to understand why I no longer receive cards. It's a bit sad to be on the receiving end of other people's simplifications, sigh.

Do those of you who cut out cards also not enjoy receiving them? Am I kidding myself when I think that me writing letters brings joy to the recipients? 

 

I both send and receive hundreds of pictures/letters at Christmas. Most of the ones I receive are simply pictures, but I love seeing how the kids (and adults lol) have grown/changed in the past year. I am friends with some of these people on facebook, but not all. Some I see every week but I still like getting their pictures in the mail :)

 

I send a newsy letter full of what we've been up to the past year along with a family picture, and I've received numerous sincere comments over the years about how much people enjoy reading it.

 

So keep sending if it brings you joy!

[Guest]

I LOVE receiving Christmas cards and have been very sad about the trend away from cards. I send out 50 cards. Last year, I did not get half that many. Honestly? I'm dropping people off my list if they aren't sending cards (not talking about people like my great aunt or whomever, but my peers and friends).

 

I am on FB, but a card is simply different. It does say, "You mean enough to me that I'm going to some extra effort to show I care about keeping you in my life."

 

For whatever reason, I am ramping up all Christmas-related things this year after a few low years where there was just too much going on to deal with it. DD has already told me she is looking forward to baking cookies when she gets home from college. :)

[PinkTulip]

I love sending and receiving Christmas cards, and have saved all of the picture cards for years.

 

But this year, I am NOT having my in-laws stay at my house for 17 days, as they have done for the last 23 years. It has ruined my relationship with them, and this year it's not happening. I feel such a sense of freedom this year!

[HomeMum]

No generic cards. They end up in the trash within minutes. Such a waste of paper. I usually make my own and try to include a relevant 4x6 on the front.

[Kari C in SC]

I throw them away too. It's a ME problem though. I think my kiddos are beautiful, but there's never anything in the budget for professional photography (or a good camera). I throw them away out of sheer jealousy for not having my own nice pictures. <blush>

I took some pretty darn good pics with my iPhone, edited them on the phone with the standard edit options. Then I bought a groupon for 50 Staples photo cards for $14 (25 for $8). Super easy and not expensive.

[Kari C in SC]

I think I am the last person who still sends Christmas cards. My SIL, who is older, did text me yesterday and say she got mine so she is sending me one.

It's a dying thing and that's too bad. I have happy memories of seeing my mom arrange them in patterns when I was a child.

If I made anything, I would totally give that. I would much appreciate that.

 

My kids always notice that I did special groupings or used special wrapping for their gifts, but maybe I have fewer kids than you do, or they are just older. They didn't use to notice.

 

You really are not the only one who remembers. Your mom (if you still are blessed enough to have one) will never forget, just as you won't.

 

I've been sending Christmas cards and letters for 26 years. People always ask when my letter is coming. Yes, I'm on Facebook. Yes, people see my kids and hear my stuff. I'm still sending cards. I wish I got more. It's exciting to get a little "gift" in the mail.

 

I'm also baking cookies, making fudge go give to my friends, and all sorts of other corny stuff that may or may not be remembered. My niece was visiting in April. She was telling her babies about he cookies I make at Christmas and how she always looked forward to getting to my house to get one. There were days that I might have said nobody noticed the baking or wrapping or cards, but on an April evening more than a decade since my niece used to visit me as a teen - she was telling her babies about those darn cookies. So, yes, I will still do some of that stuff because it just might really matter to someone.

[Baseball mom]

Reading through the thread, I am beginning to understand why I no longer receive cards. It's a bit sad to be on the receiving end of other people's simplifications, sigh.

Do those of you who cut out cards also not enjoy receiving them? Am I kidding myself when I think that me writing letters brings joy to the recipients?

I love to receive cards, photos & letters. I display them until I take down Christmas decorations. The last few years after I take them down I tape them to cardstock and put in a binder.

[DawnM]

I am planning to do very little actually shopping in stores. Online or cash for my kids. They can buy it after Christmas.

 

My 12 year old put up the decorations.

 

I normally put together some gifts for friends. In the past I have made bath bombs or bath salts and put them in mason jars and pretty ribbons. I don't think I will do any of that this year.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I haven't done this stuff for years. Zero people noticed. I did ask the kids specifically what they like. The answers were all pretty easy-2 specific treats, the smell of the trees, a local light display, a pre-fab gingerbread house to put candy on and the leg lamp. They even said we didn't have to decorate the tree. The lights and smell would do 😀

Edited December 9, 2016 by joyofsix

[Tess in the Burbs]

So the expensive wreaths I sent to the in-laws....  only the great grandma called to say thanks.  We haven't heard from MIL/FIL since October when DH called them.  So I feel better I didn't waste time figuring out a real gift or gift card.  And if we don't hear something from them by Christmas I won't even do a wreath next year.  We flew out and visited them this year, but they haven't called us since.  I am putting all my efforts into people I know and love and am loved back.

[mommyoffive]

I haven't done this stuff for years. Zero people noticed. I did ask the kids specifically what they like. The answers were all pretty easy-2 specific treats, the smell of the trees, a local light display, a pre-fab gingerbread house to put candy on and the leg lamp. They even said we didn't have to decorate the tree. The lights and smell would do 😀

 

Um I love that you have a Leg Lamp!

 

[Random]

We did the newsie letters for years, as I love to get them. We didn't for a few years, after Ed's death. I just couldn't figure out a way to write them without saying: yeah, dd is not getting married. Ed died. Yeah, we managed to keep her alive another year. We went back to them a few years later, when things weren't so bleak. But I can't figure out how to write one this year: yeah, this might be dh's last Christmas. The cattle market tanked. Dh hasn't been able to find a real job. Dd graduated but hasn't been able to find a real job. Sil had a heart attack. The dog died. One horse died. We still don't have the conservation easement. Dd had surgery. Well, you get the idea. So, maybe next year. 

 

Just a note to say that I would still like to receive this letter, if it were written to me.  That's kind of the point...I want to know how my friends are, and I want to be 'with' them in their struggles, not just their joys.

 

Best wishes to you, Margaret.  I'm sorry things are so hard right now.

[IsabelC]

We used to spend hours designing, printing, and preparing Xmas cards, until one year we decided not to do it any more. We went from sending out at least 60 cards to sending out none. By the following year, the cards we received were down to about four (not counting cards from businesses we'd used).  So that means that the vast majority of  people who had been sending us cards were only doing so because we sent them cards. Make of that what you will...

Edited December 10, 2016 by IsabelC

[DawnM]

There is so much I am not doing this year:

 

Did not decorate (12 year old put up a few things.)

Will not be making my bath salts

Wil not be buying much

Not busting my tail to get to 3 different parties scheduled on the same night

will not even wrap (18 year old volunteered!)

[Guest]

Reading through the thread, I am beginning to understand why I no longer receive cards. It's a bit sad to be on the receiving end of other people's simplifications, sigh.

Do those of you who cut out cards also not enjoy receiving them? Am I kidding myself when I think that me writing letters brings joy to the recipients?

It's complicated. I write the family Christmas letter and don't enjoy doing it, but I do love the compliments I get and know how many people look forward to getting one from us. So despite being a gazillions weeks pregnant I'm still doing it as I do every year, it's pretty much a public service st this point to all the people I don't talk to or see as regularly as I'd like because I eschew Facebook. And my husband likes having us send one out.

 

But do I do it for my own joy? Heck no. Like so many things in life it's really just work but benefits others, so I suck it up.

Edited December 10, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Kari C in SC]

Not doing photo ( or any) cards this year, our 7 year old passed away this spring & I just don't want to write a " we lost a kid & gained a kid" letter, so we're also skipping adoption announcements which we've always done for our last adoptions.

First, I'm sending you hugs. My 21 year old son was killed in a car accident in 2010. I completely understand not wanting to do cards. I struggled with that. The only reason I forced myself to push though it was because I had been sending cards, pics, and a letter since he was born and I still had a 5 year old and 11 year old. So, I somehow got through. I asked my kids how they wanted to include their brother in our family picture. My dd suggested using his big, obnoxious Jack Skellington hat because he was wearing that in our last family picture together at Disney. And so, now, our official family pictures always include his hat. I also write a memory of him for his spot in our Christmas letter. I know healing is raw and personal. And it is okay to skip stuff or stop all together. Be extra kind to yourself. I am sending you prayers that I always pray - for strength and peace. Edited December 11, 2016 by Kari C in SC

[ktgrok]

I'll send Christmas cards with you. I don't write a letter and most of the times I only include a simple holiday sentiment, but I love Christmas cards all the same. My grandma would arrange the cards in the middle of the dining room table. I have fond memories of looking through the cards. I love getting the cards in the mail.

 

I love them too :)

[Kassia]

First, I'm sending you hugs. My 21 year old sone was killed in a car accident in 2010. I completely understand not wanting to do cards. I struggled with that. The only reason I forced myself to push though it was because I had been sending cards, pics, and a letter since he was born and I still had a 5 year old and 11 year old. So, I somehow got through. I asked my kids how they wanted to include their brother in our family picture. My dad suggested using his big, obnoxious Jack Skellington hat because he was wearing that in our last family picture together at Disney. And so, now, our official family pictures always include his hat. I also write a memory of him for his spot in our Christmas letter. I know healing is raw and personal. And it is okay to skip stuff or stop all together. Be extra kind to yourself. I am sending you prayers that I always pray - for strength and peace.

 

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son.  It's wonderful how you include him in your Christmas traditions.   :grouphug: