Things someone said on this board that helped or made an impression on you.

[J-rap]

I sometimes think of things people have said on this board, even little things, that helped me or just made an impression on me.  Maybe it was a long time ago and probably I don't even remember who said it, but I thought it would be fun to list some of those things here.  And who knows, maybe the person it is being attributed to will read it and know that what they said was helpful!

 

For example, I remember there was one time I was trying to decide if it was safe to thaw something, eat part of it, freeze what was left, thaw it again, add part of it to some stew I was making, and freeze the rest.  I got all kinds of answers, but then someone just bluntly said something like, "Why in the world is this so important to you that you would even WANT to do that!"  haha   So I tossed it.  

 

And another time I was concerned about my college-aged daughter not getting or even being interested in getting her driver's license, and many people answered by saying something like, "So what?  It doesn't matter.  If it's important to her at some point, she'll get it."  So that's the attitude I took.   (And she did finally get it a couple months ago, at age 21!  She still rarely drives though.)

 

Well, there have been far more things than that, some that were more serious and personal, but these are some more light-hearted ones that come to mind.  

Edited October 11, 2016 by J-rap

[Eagle]

"It's a marathon, not a sprint."

 

I think of this advice quite often. It helps me to take the long view and not get caught up in trivial day-to-day concerns (oh no, we missed a day of spelling!).

 

"Teach the child you have."

 

If something isn't working, I have no problem switching things around. The "best on paper" curriculum may not work for us, and that's ok. We'll find something else that does.

[Tap]

Disclaimer: I am very hard to offend.  You would just about have to hit me over the head with a brick, to hurt my feelings.  I am a very logical person and tend to only hear the most obvious meaning of what people say vs. the simpler nuances of language.  Many people have told me that I think more like a stereotypical guy than a girl. I'm ok with that.  LOL (Like I said, i don't easily get offended).  A problem with thinking this way, is that I never understood the hidden meanings or parallels in literature. Unless they were glaringly obvious and I was told what the parallel was, I would sit in English class very confused as those around me discussed the topic. 

 

One thing I have learned here, is how some people are really hurt by those nuances of conversation.  I am fairly blunt so I have been working to train myself to look for where people might get offended before I speak.  It is hard for me, because I really don't understand why some people take things more personally than they are obviously intended, but that doesn't matter.  I want to make others comfortable so I am trying to change.  

 

A real life example:  A young coworker was running to the store for drinks on a hot day and asked if anyone wanted something. Several people asked for drinks and I (with a kind tone of voice) said something like "would you brink me a Coke, here is the money for it." She didn't bring me a drink back, because I didn't say "please".   For some reason, the lack of 'please' really ticked her off.   Around our house, if you need the salt at the dinner table, you can just ask for the salt with a nice tone of voice.  If we are in public my kids have been trained to use Please no matter what they are asking for, or how they ask for it. Simply due to her getting very upset about something that would have never, ever occurred to me to be so offensive. 

[BooksandBoys]

Snip

 

A real life example: A young coworker was running to the store for drinks on a hot day and asked if anyone wanted something. Several people asked for drinks and I (with a kind tone of voice) said something like "would you brink me a Coke, here is the money for it." She didn't bring me a drink back, because I didn't say "please". For some reason, the lack of 'please' really ticked her off. Around our house, if you need the salt at the dinner table, you can just ask for the salt with a nice tone of voice. If we are in public my kids have been trained to use Please no matter what they are asking for, or how they ask for it. Simply due to her getting very upset about something that would have never, ever occurred to me to be so offensive.

That is shockingly rude.

The coworker's behavior, not yours.

May I encourage you to not use this coworker as a measurement of whether you are being "polite enough."

[Jaybee]

So many things. I can look around and see a number of purchases that have been influenced by WTM boards. But probably the most helpful has been the "Teach the child you have" quote. I wanted a different path. (More classical, Latin, etc.) It wasn't what my kids needed. The positive side of that is that now I am beginning to see a real blossoming in my kids still at home; not according to my agenda, but according to their own giftings and interests.

[MysteryJen]

I lurked on this board when it was the old, old one with dial up, but didn't start posting until a few years ago. The college board ladies are extremely helpful and the Learning Challenges ladiies are so wise and compassionate.

Diane (from Utah-a long time poster) was so clear about having to do the work everyday, that homeschooling was serious business and work and I took that to heart.

"The best curriculum is the one that gets done." helped me to focus on what was working, and that if it was working with my kids then that was what we did.

 

I love this board with its huge diversity of opinion and life experience.

 

[maize]

That is shockingly rude.

The coworker's behavior, not yours.

May I encourage you to not use this coworker as a measurement of whether you are being "polite enough."

I agree with this, the coworker was rude, you were not.

[Carol in Cal.]

I'm feeling all glowy inside for coming up with the 'Teach the child you have' advice!  Thank you!

 

And the complete version is, 'Teach the child you have, not some theoretical child that you read about in a book.'

[Guest]

.

Edited September 9, 2020 by Æthelthryth the Texan

[6packofun]

I think more than one person over the years has said that their aim, different from most public schools, is to provide a narrow and deep educational experience for their children, not shallow and wide.  Meaning, instead of trying to cover hundreds of topics in a once-over fashion to check off as "done" and just the basics about those topics, we should want to find what interests our child and go deeply into those areas to encourage learning.  

 

There is a place for shallow and wide on occasion, too, I believe, but overall, I feel much less guilty about delving into what my kids and I *want* to learn about sometimes instead of just meeting someone else's standards and requirements. It was a refreshing take that I appreciated and still do!

[freesia]

My favorite's are:

Teach the child on the couch (the version of "the child you have" that sticks with me).  So, so, important for Type A me with my Type B firstborn.

 

The best curriculum is the one that gets done.  Absolutely transformational. This one allowed me to let go of some of my standards and discover that curriculum that did not delight me was perfect and the best for two of my children. I still shake my head at this.

[MyLittleBears]

My favorite's are:

Teach the child on the couch (the version of "the child you have" that sticks with me).  So, so, important for Type A me with my Type B firstborn.

 

The best curriculum is the one that gets done.  Absolutely transformational. This one allowed me to let go of some of my standards and discover that curriculum that did not delight me was perfect and the best for two of my children. I still shake my head at this.

 

 

This!

[SKL]

I'm sure there are many, but I'm bad at remembering.

 

One thing I remember from another blog though:  "don't punish the disability."  I try to remind myself that my reactions need to take into account the way my kids are wired.  Mine don't have serious disabilities, but even relatively little things - like being very irritable when blood sugar is low, or being forgetful - can be worked around if I remember *before* things go south.  It makes life a lot more peaceful.  :)

[mathnerd]

InstantPot - cannot remember who talked about that first on this board - but, I have one and use it every day and it makes my life a lot better (and my family's life too).

 

For parenting: "It is a marathon, not a sprint" has helped me put things in perspective (I have a family member who passes unsolicited, stinging criticism for even the smallest of setbacks we have and it used to hurt a lot - but, then, I remind myself that I am not sprinting to the finish line and that I am on the right track and that I will finish the marathon successfully and I feel at peace).

[MyLittleBears]

 

Get neuropsychology evaluations. This transformed my ds life and opened many doors!

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dab rum behind each ear and put on your big girl panties - Remudamom

 

Develop rhino skin - Peekaboo  (this isn't quite right but I know that she had rhino skin and it has helped me to get some too.)

 

Pass the bean dip - Joanne

 

Be the duck - I'm afraid that I can't remember who this came from

[school17777]

There was a thread about splurges to help you keep up with the house or something like that while homeschooling. Someone mentioned they didn't mind paying for clorox type wipes to keep the kitchen and bathroom counters clean. After reading that, I bought the wipes guilt-free because it was worth my time for the premade wipes rather than using cloths that need to be washed afterwards (still do that for bigger cleaning). I was buying the wipes before that, but I felt guilty about it.

Edited October 13, 2016 by school17777

[SparklyUnicorn]

everything is better with bacon...

 

oh wait, I think i said that.

 

:laugh:

 

But seriously, lots and lots of things.  Too many to name because there is probably something daily. 

 

[MyLittleBears]

everything is better with bacon...

 

oh wait, I think i said that.

 

:laugh:

 

But seriously, lots and lots of things. Too many to name because there is probably something daily.

Everything is better with bacon( in our case it has it has to be nitrate free) and for the record my boys get a kick out of the dancing bacon whenever they walk past me when reading your posts!

[idnib]

Another person chiming in for "the best curriculum is the one that gets done" suggestion. This allowed me to ditch things I loved but which were not working as well as I wanted for my kids. (MCT I'm looking at you.)

 

"Homeschooling is a job." This allowed me to really see how much work and responsibility it is and make sure we keep moving forward. And that it's okay to be tired at the end of the day and make an easy dinner.

 

And basically all other Jane in NC, Nan, and Tibbie suggestions.

Edited October 11, 2016 by idnib

[Guest]

This is probably just my gutter sense of humor coming out, but my life would not be the same without the first TeA thread, in which Nicole coined the euphemism. Also, the one about "removing carpet in the TeA room" that I think Sun started. Humor that arises organically is just the BEST!

 

I agree that "teach the child you have..." And "the best curriculum is the one that gets done" are homeschooling gold. Nan in Mass has written posts that I printed out and saved; she is SO wise. I am very much a box-checker by nature, but her advice helped me see that there is a place for NOT box-checking. Spy Car had some good advice about "making" my son complete a sport; his was not the popular opinion, but he was right for a number of reasons.

 

I have a Speed Queen and an InstantPot because of this board.

 

Also, this is not exactly the same thing, but I am so happy I have had opportunities to meet some regional boardies IRL!

[QueenCat]

This is probably just my gutter sense of humor coming out, but my life would not be the same without the first TeA thread, in which Nicole coined the euphemism. Also, the one about "removing carpet in the TeA room" that I think Sun started. Humor that arises organically is just the BEST!

 

 

 

Every time I see a t-shirt or meme about tea or books, I think of the Hive.

[MyLittleBears]

This is probably just my gutter sense of humor coming out, but my life would not be the same without the first TeA thread, in which Nicole coined the euphemism. Also, the one about "removing carpet in the TeA room" that I think Sun started. Humor that arises organically is just the BEST!

 

I agree that "teach the child you have..." And "the best curriculum is the one that gets done" are homeschooling gold. Nan in Mass has written posts that I printed out and saved; she is SO wise. I am very much a box-checker by nature, but her advice helped me see that there is a place for NOT box-checking. Spy Car had some good advice about "making" my son complete a sport; his was not the popular opinion, but he was right for a number of reasons.

 

 

 

I have a Speed Queen and an InstantPot because of this board.

 

Also, this is not exactly the same thing, but I am so happy I have had opportunities to meet some regional boardies IRL!

 

I'm jealous. I want a speed queen. Waaah!

Edited October 11, 2016 by MyLittleBears

[gardenmom5]

two subjects that have made a difference in my life, and I don't think I would have been aware of them otherwise:

 

mother's with narcisstic personality disorder

stopthethyroidmadness, optimum thyroid numbers (NOT just tsh) and hypothyroidism.

[WoolC]

I've spent a lot of time reading here over the past couple of years though I don't post often. I find this board invaluable for getting insight into others perspectives on so many issues. It has broadened my empathy and understanding so much. I've especially learned a lot from the religious discussions. Posts from MercyA are often inspiring and full of wisdom.

 

Reading about other posters' in-laws and family issues has helped me to set boundaries and recognize issues with my own in-laws clearly.

 

And chiming in with everyone else, "teach the child you have" is something I remind myself of regularly when I get carried away reading educational philosophy!

[Nan in Mass]

Lisa told me to come down out of the trees. That somehow pinned down a particularly useless type of panic that I get sometimes. Now I can recognize it and do something more productive when I land there. Usually grin.

 

Joan in Geneva told me to use a history book from France (in French) for youngest,s high school history. I certainly would not have thought of that on my own. Or been able to pull it off without her help.

 

Ester Maria, Correlano (might have the vowels out of order sigh), Joan in Geneva, Cleo, and some others helped me to see how to improve on my own very poor public school education. I knew my education was poor but really needed the comparison to Europe and the explanation of what true research is and what is taught in grad school in order to see what I needed to do to improve.

 

Brenda told me to use Singapore Primary Math. That was life changing.

 

Somebody told me to teach my youngest as though he were on the spectrum, whether he was or not. He,s not. At least no more than the rest of us. But the suggestion worked really well. Part of that suggestion involved making him be really specific about how he wanted to be taught various things (he was in his teens). Which was more good advice. It also involved giving up trying to get certain types of writing and analysis out of him. More good advice.

 

Colleen forced me to figure out the why's of TWTM, which let me do a much better job implementing it.

 

The people on the accelerated board helped me figure out how to flex homeschooling to just about the max for our family.

 

Jane in NC solved numerous problems for me and generally cheered me up.

 

Brenda in MA saved us tens of thousands of dollars. : )

 

The Book-a-Week people have gotten me through the end of homeschooling.

 

And I,m probably forgetting lots of other people...

 

Nan

Edited October 12, 2016 by Nan in Mass

[G5052]

I've been here for 15 years, probably more, so it's hard to remember. My youngest graduates in June.

 

One is something to the effect that the curriculum that gets it done for you in an effective manner is better than the latest and greatest. And it's OK to use something that's a 90% fit and call it a day. At one point I was going crazy with Tapestry of Grace, trying to put it together each week and keep up. We switched to Sonlight and ditched a few books here-and-there, but mostly it was great. I didn't have to worry about what to do next with history and literature. As we got into high school, I outsourced more, and it was lovely to hear that it's OK not to do it all yourself.

 

I knew a decade ago that I had a narcissistic mother, but this is the only place where I know others in that situation. 

 

All of the transcript and college information has been invaluable. For our outsourcing in high school, personal recommendations for online classes made a big difference. I would have never known about Lukeion or PA Homeschoolers otherwise.

 

More recently y'all convinced me to get an Instant Pot. I waffled all summer and bought one as a back-to-school present for myself. I'm in love. I made curry in it tonight.

Edited October 12, 2016 by G5052

[thessa516]

Quiver's Cinnamon Rolls   :drool5:

 

I first heard of Sarah Mackenzie's Read Aloud Revival here. Reading aloud became a staple in our home.

 

There was a thread titled "Why You Should Work on TWTM Skills" started by Nan in Mass that absolutely helped me to see the forest when I couldn't find it for the trees.

 

The Morning Basket - we no longer use a morning basket, but it was a crucial element in our homeschool for many years.

 

 

 

 

SaveSave

[Okra]

Someone here told me about Barkeeper's Friend to clean my Stainless Steel pots and pans.  Thank you!

 

And, another person taught me how to use my cast iron skillet correctly.  :)

 

 

[idnib]

Lisa told me to come down out of the trees. That somehow pinned down a particularly useless type of panic that I get sometimes. Now I can recognize it and do something more productive when I land there. Usually grin.

 

Joan in Geneva told me to use a history book from France (in French) for youngest,s high school history. I certainly would not have thought of that on my own. Or been able to pull it off without her help.

 

Ester Maria, Correlano (might have the vowels out of order sigh), Joan in Geneva, Cleo, and some others helped me to see how to improve on my own very poor public school education. I knew my education was poor but really needed the comparison to Europe and the explanation of what true research is and what is taught in grad school in order to see what I needed to do to improve.

 

Brenda told me to use Singapore Primary Math. That was life changing.

 

Somebody told me to teach my youngest as though he were on the spectrum, whether he was or not. He,s not. At least no more than the rest of us. But the suggestion worked really well. Part of that suggestion involved making him be really specific about how he wanted to be taught various things (he was in his teens). Which was more good advice. It also involved giving up trying to get certain types of writing and analysis out of him. More good advice.

 

Colleen forced me to figure out the why's of TWTM, which let me do a much better job implementing it.

 

The people on the accelerated board helped me figure out how to flex homeschooling to just about the max for our family.

 

Jane in NC solved numerous problems for me and generally cheered me up.

 

Brenda in MA saved us tens of thousands of dollars. : )

 

The Book-a-Week people have gotten me through the end of homeschooling.

 

And I,m probably forgetting lots of other people...

 

Nan

 

 

I'm forgetting people too. Ester Maria really changed a lot of the ways I think about what it means to be educated, and I still miss her. 

[eternalsummer]

Someone said once, after relating how her parents (mother?) had abused her as a child, that what parents who are abusive don't realize is that one day their child will be free to go and will just walk away and never look back.

 

Somehow that stuck with me - I don't think I'm an abusive parent but I do have better and worse days in my relationships with the kids, and on the worse days I remember that statement and am kinder than I would otherwise be because of it.

 

 

[eternalsummer]

omg and the skillet thing!  Someone here said that you don't put in the oil until after the pan is already hot -that's how you keep things from sticking.  I never knew!  Everything I cooked stuck!

[EmilyGF]

I few years back I started a thread asking people to explain to me, from personal experience only, how someone who is poor thinks. I'm upper middle class and have generally always been, so my struggling friends IRL were acting in ways that were very foreign to me, but I didn't feel comfortable asking prying questions. The answers were really eye opening and useful. They fundamentally changed the way I interact with my friends who are struggling with a steady income stream. 

 

I really appreciate the variety of viewpoints that show up on these boards. Lots of people from very different backgrounds. 

 

Emily

[SproutMamaK]

In a very general sense, reading everyone's stories and seeing so many different stories and viewpoints has made me see people as, well, people. People that I otherwise probably would have thought of as too different from me or wondered why they weren't talking, or not know what to say, etc, I know think "oh, that's just like [random poster] I should [do whatever works]!" instead of just not engaging due to discomfort.

In a more specific sense, the advice to "not compare your work in progress to someone else's highlight reel" has made life a lot less stressful.

[heartlikealion]

Seen many times on this board and something I think of sometimes. "Not my circus, not my monkeys." :laugh:

 

When I was debating about what to do with breastfeeding and some people suggested just going ahead and getting the hospital grade electric pump rental. It was a total game changer and if I hadn't listened I think I would have just given up since dd was tongue/lip tied and in the beginning there was no easy way to breastfeed her (even after surgeries things weren't quite right). I rented that pump for I don't know how many months despite dh's original objections (thinking it would be a waste of money). In fact, it saved us money because we supplemented with a very expensive formula.

 

When people say there's a season for this or that. Sometimes it makes certain stages easier.

 

When Homeschool Mom in AZ gave some advice and I said I'd tried some of that and she told me I couldn't cherry pick from the list LOL.

[eternalsummer]

oh yes, not my circus not my monkeys, that one I use a lot!  Also "eat that frog"

[purplejackmama]

Oh every day you amazing folks open my eyes, teach my mind and enrich my life. A lot of the nuggets I've learned have already been mentioned but here's a few that have stuck out over time.

 

Tibbie has talked me off the ledge many a time when I think my son is going to be a complete life failure. For the record, he's not. :)

 

Quill taught me how to properly clean a bathroom, so embarrassed that I never really knew how.

 

Recently, Margaret in CO went above and beyond to give me Colorado ideas for my family. Our trip has been great thanks to her suggestions.

 

So many posters have given me insight into ideologies, values, and lifestyles much different than mine. I'm better for the things I've read.

[Anne in CA]

I have learned a lot about the way other people view religion and other topics that can be "religious" to a person. I really would never have figured out certain points of view on my own, but after seeing enough conversations go certain unpreventable directions, I have more insight into why that happens. Over time I have become more liberal AND conservative based on thinking through questions that I had to ask myself based on these boards.

[DesertBlossom]

omg and the skillet thing! Someone here said that you don't put in the oil until after the pan is already hot -that's how you keep things from sticking. I never knew! Everything I cooked stuck!

Wait. What!?

[mamiof5]

Wait. What!?

Ditto. What?? How didn't I know this??

[mamiof5]

No idea for how long I've been around here, but truly enjoy just reading stuff, whatever it might be. Parenting threads are always interesting, marriage, family ones etc, just helps to read different perspectives.

 

Specific messages? I have a bad memory, so I don't remember a whole lot of stuff. "Pass the bean dip" always comes to mind. Also, someone said "I can only do so much. I give the Lord my 5 loaves and 2 fish, and He is in control of what he can accomplish with them"... recently I have been thinking about this almost on a daily basis, if not more than daily. I have also used it to give advice to some of our kids. That really stuck with me.

 

I'm always grateful for the "recommendations" threads I have started. Coffee cups, knives, Amazon prime, RC cars, etc. After the coffee cup one we ended with 3 cups which we love. And knives, love our knives! I think of the hive when I take my coffee somewhere, or use our knives... usually more than once a day 😂.

 

Let's don't talk shopping. Quite a few "hive influenced" purchases. Most recent? Some sort of hot glove with blue stripes. Love it!

 

Someone's oatmeal recipe. Mrs Mungo's I believe?? Yum!!!

 

Talking recipes... someone mentioned above cinnamon rolls...does anyone have the recipe for that?

[Catalytic]

A post of Spryte's about probiotics has made a huge difference in my gut, I'm incredibly thankful for it.  (And I tried to PM her thanks a while back, but it didn't go through...didn't think about a thread!)

[trulycrabby]

When I was at the end of my rope with ds12's inability to focus yet was very against the use of adhd meds, I listened to the folks here who stated that taking the meds truly helped their kids. So, ds12 was tested, diagnosed as strongly adhd, and successfully treated with focalin.

[EmseB]

I remember a post here that was something to the effect of "just do school", and it was about schooling through/around hard times.  I remember the person saying something about how no, you don't have to bring school books to the funeral home when your grandma dies, but yes, you have to get back at it and do school.

 

It helped me when we went through a family crisis of sorts as I am prone to giving myself and a lot of excuses.

 

Along those lines, I don't participate in the daily tackle threads, but I do appreciate them as it gives me motivation to know that others are out there tackling things!

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I remember a post here that was something to the effect of "just do school", and it was about schooling through/around hard times. I remember the person saying something about how no, you don't have to bring school books to the funeral home when your grandma dies, but yes, you have to get back at it and do school.

 

It helped me when we went through a family crisis of sorts as I am prone to giving myself and a lot of excuses.

 

Along those lines, I don't participate in the daily tackle threads, but I do appreciate them as it gives me motivation to know that others are out there tackling things!

I remember that thread. I think it was Joanne.

[Guest]

Well, well, well....I googled for some of the above referenced Nan in Mass threads I've never read and low and behold some other very interesting threads came up in the search. The stuff I missed around here......I thought things could get rowdy now. Apparently I missed out on the Wild West days. And this was only a few results! :)

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/tags/forums/well-trained%2Bmind%2B101/

Edited October 12, 2016 by texasmom33

[kewb]

Pass the bean dip. - Joanne. This applies to many areas in life. A helpful phrase.

Edited October 12, 2016 by kewb

[Kareni]

I've been reading these boards since pre-2000 (and remember all the Y2K fears and how the date in early 2000 was actually in the early 1900s).  I learned a lot from those who were already here who made me believe that I could homeschool and who helped when I started in 2002.  I wish I could remember names.  Now that my daughter has graduated from homeschooling and college, I'm still here reading, laughing, learning, and trying to help others when I can.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Guest]

When we learned that my son is intellectually disabled, it was the special needs forum that helped me through my emotions. I try to give back in return when a newbie gets the same diagnosis. It's frightening to get such a diagnosis, and it's nice to have someone who has walked through it take your hand and tell you that it's going to be okay.

[Guest]

I just thought of another one. That I don't have to boil the water before adding the pasta!