Placement testing for charter school. Results: I'm a failure.

[nrg]

I have not read this entire thread.

 

This "testing" situation  and report of the results does not look anything like a valid, professional assessment done by educators with an understanding of child development. You are traumatized by your visit to this school.

 

SO...the failure is not yours; it is theirs. Do you want your children to be a part of this? I understand that this seemed to be an appropriate option for you; does it still seem that way? Now that you have witnessed how things are done here, if you were to take the children back for a reassessment, would you want them to attend this school?

 

You have dodged a bullet.

 

Hug your beautiful children and be grateful that they are not accustomed to such treatment.

[redsquirrel]

I'd take a deep breath here. Test taking is a skill that your kids not have yet. It doesn't mean they don't know anything; just that they were blindsided by a type of test they had no experience taking.

 

My next thought is, how do you know your local school is awful? I ask because I once put my daughter in a school that some homeschoolers told me for years was "awful." It wasn't "the best" school in our county. They would never send their kids there. Blah blah blah. I was so nervous when I enrolled my daughter. It turned out to be a lovely experience. They were nice and professional. They took DDs homeschooling credits from her first semester of 9th grade at home.

 

Her school was very racially and economically diverse. I soon learned that she was getting the same quality of education SHE'D be getting at "the best" school, but the overall test scores of the student body were effected by the diversity of the population. The material was the same. The teachers were just as qualified and inspired as any. Since some of the kids were poor, or English wasn't their first language, or they lived through whatever home situation causes an individual student to score less on standardized tests, the scores for the entire school looked lower than the school in the neighborhood with much less diversity. My daughter thrived. Her scores were competitive with those in "the best" school and I'm so glad she had the opportunity to form diverse friendships and grow up with a social conscience and awareness that I didn't form until well into adulthood.

 

I say don't listen to anybody. Go to the school. Talk to the principal and teachers. Get a feel for what type of people/educators they are, and THEN make the decision for yourself. Heck, you can try it for a semester and change your mind if you want, but I'd give it a try to see how it works for your individual children. You can't rely on averaged test scores or gossip to get that information.

 

That is so true!  My neighborhood elementary school is the "worst" one in the city. No it's not, it's the poorest, there is a difference. My younger child needed years of speech, OT and PT and I had to walk around the corner to the elementary school almost every day for four years (sometimes more than once in the same day) for him to get his therapy sessions.  I sat in a chair outside the therapy rooms (all in different places in the school) and got to see what what went on. You can learn a lot sitting in the hallway of a school for four years. Sometimes I was sitting right outside the main office so I got to see a lot of what was happening there as well.

 

For being the 'worst' school I sure did see an awful lot of good education and happy kids. I saw a lot of very professional and caring people doing their job. I saw custodians who knew every single kid by name, I saw a school secretary who knew the often complicated home situation of every single kid. I saw a school with a very obvious mission to make every kid feel safe and like school was totally dependable, even when their homes were not. Is it the best school ever? No, but I don't know any that are.  And I have friends whose kids went there, and sometimes it wasn't always the most comfortable fit for their kids. But,the education their kids got there K-5 was just fine.

 

 

[TXBeth]

Did you have an interview with Mr. Mathew? If not, I would call and insist on an appointment with him. Take the kids with you. Tell him everything you said here, and see what he says. Maybe the girls really are behind, or maybe homeschooling is really best, but I wouldn't give up. We almost turned away because of the horrible people skills of the receptionist, but after meeting with Mr. Mathew we felt much, much better.

I don't understand why an incoming first grader of the appropriate age had to take a placement test? My rising 6th grader had to take one because we had no recent test results and she is only 10. Mr. Mathew actually looked it over with her and talked about the math problems she got wrong. One of them she had misunderstood the question, and the other he explained the concept to her.

[6packofun]

An example is that my almost 6 yo was told to write as many numbers as she could in a row up to 100 and only wrote the number 1.

 

She 100 percent knows how to count. This test was completely unexpected. They were hungry and taken off guard. We thought we were dropping papers an leaving.

 

I don't know what to think. I just feel like a big fat, no options failure right now. I am basically ruining my kids lives.

 

OK, think about this.  YOU could come up with questions to more properly discern if your kid knows her numbers 1-100!  Were you allowed to ask any follow-up questions or did they tell you what you'd need to work on for them to retake later?

 

Is this a brick and mortar charter school or an online charter school?  (Is the latter an option?  I'm not saying there won't be a placement test but maybe there's more time to prep the kids on what to expect...)  Sorry, I'm not sure of your situation so scrub this idea if I'm off base!

[bettyandbob]

Only you can know what your dc are doing and what they are learning.

 

You've had several threads that talk about your depression and financial problems. I may have missed it, but I don't recall you talking about what you do with your kids. You don't have to tell me what you do. There are plenty of kids learning things through games, physical activity, chores with mom and dad, or simple trips to the zoo and library with mom reading aloud.

 

The thing is I'm getting a one sided view because I've only seen the depression and financial troubles. When my kids were young I was briefly involved in a homeschool play ground meet up that included two families with severely depressed moms. Other families told these women it was ok they weren't doing anything formal with their kids, just put in a Magic School Bus video and that will be more educational than public school for a day. Clearly these people had never really looked at public school. I do know one of moms did put her ds in school for high school. One of the families put their ds in public he several years later. The lost years of no basic skills (reading, math) were really bad for him.

 

Anyway, I think you need to look at what you do with your dc carefully and answer if you are actually working towards a big picture goal. If you are, then keep going on the path you are on.

 

If you can't answer the question, then maybe you need to visit the public school and actually find out what happens in the classroom. Also talk to your neighbors who have dc in the school. Ask their dc what they liked about school. You keep saying you won't consider PS, but you haven't given it a serious look. As another poster said elementary school is completely different than middle or high school. Again it's just a visit. Such a visit may give you ideas for what you really want to do at home.

[Jaybee]

Pinkmint, you have said repeatedly that you really want to homeschool, but you basically just don't feel like you can handle it right now. So let's get practical. Yes, start dealing with the depression, of course. Then:

 

For the ages of your kids, you basically need phonics/reading instruction and math. If you are giving them a good solid foundation in that, it will go far. That can take 45 minutes to an hour. Maybe even a half hour some days. 

 

If there is a library you can use, get books of a variety of types. Maybe each time you go, check out a book for each day of each type: 1 nature/science, 1 history/social studies/community, 1 picture book or fun/interesting read-aloud. Or even just 2 or 3 of each type for the week.

 

Then if you have a TV/DVD player, check out some children's documentaries, music videos, sign language, or whatever interests them. These can be used when you feel overwhelmed, need a break, need rewards/bribes ;) , etc.

 

This will cover the basics. You can add toys, art projects, cooking projects, etc., if you want to and feel like it, but the main thing is the reading and math for a little while each day. It doesn't have to be complicated or time consuming. 

 

Do you have basic materials? Do you need phonics or math curriculum? I can't remember if you have a decent library nearby, or if there is a safe place to play outside anywhere near your home. If so, take advantage of it. If not, then let the Hive know what basics you need as for as curriculum and read-alouds.

[DawnM]

My now 18 year old was 10 and went to take a test at the public school to enter 4th grade. When they went to check on him 15 min later he had his head on the desk and was crying. He had done none of it.

 

Don't beat yourself up, they are young, there is no "far behind" at this age in my book.

[TravelingChris]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[OneStepAtATime]

Sometimes I kinda wish my kids were the stereotypical homeschoolers that are impressing everyone with their reading fluently at age 2 and applying to medical school at age 7. Maybe then I could be impressed with what homeschooling is doing for them and fend off the haters who want to prove that what I'm doing at home isn't working and isn't real education.

 

They are just your average neurotypical kids who would rather play dinosaurs and watch silly videos than read and write.

As others have said, actually most homeschooled kids are NOT reading fluently at 2.  Truly.  Read through all the zillions of threads where parents are asking for help because their child is not reading at 4...or 5...or 6...or 7...or 8...or older... 

 

Kids learn at different rates.  Some need more time.  Some need more explicit instruction.  Some are gifted.  Some are average.  Some are below average.  Some are gifted in one area and below average in another.   Some won't be reading until they are pre-teens but are exceedingly bright and will thrive in other areas.  We are human beings, not tires being manufactured in a plant.

 

As has been said over and over and over the "assessment" the school did is garbage.  It is less than useless, it is harmful.  Chuck it out your mental window.  Take a deep breath then try to figure out where you want to go with homeschooling right now.  

 

Do your own assessment.  

 

1.  Can your 7 year old decode consonant vowel consonant words pretty easily (CVC)?  If so, then great.  Keep going with what you have been doing.  If not, then maybe ElizabethB's free materials would be helpful for using with the 7 year old to get them reading.  She posts on WTM and is a very nice person.  She can help.

 

2.  Does your 7 year old have a sense of quantity?  Fairly strong subitization skills?  If so, great, keep doing what you are doing.  If not, then maybe work on those skills with a bit more targeted instruction.  Lots of great resources to solidify those skills.

 

And so on...

 

Look at what is really happening with your kids, not what some really poorly thought out and implemented ineffective assessment through a school that does not know your children tossed at them at the last minute.

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[ktgrok]

Am I the only one sitting here thinking, that as an ADULT I would refuse to write out the number 1-100 in one sitting? It's a ridiculous thing to do and would make my hand cramp up and my brain go numb. Maybe I'm a failure, lol. 

[Alessandra]

:grouphug:

 

For those with "behind" kids, I want to share my ds's story. He was almost 6 for K--his is a November birthday. So in September, we got out the phonics book (and I have taught MANY kids to read, at home and in a classroom) and some simple math activities. We tried. We tried for 3 days, and I closed the books and said, "Go play with Daddy." He learned to run power drills. He learned to drive a tractor and the feed truck. He learned out to fence and plow snow. He fed the calves, broke the ice, gathered eggs, and milked. He skied, a lot. He swam. And after Christmas, we broke out the phonics book again. And he was reading fluently in a few weeks. We basically did K in January, and 1st grade in February, and on and on. By the end of his K year, he was reading chapter books. He's now at Colorado School of Mines, on a full-ride AFROTC scholarship, working as an IT professional for an air monitoring company, having finished his field training this summer, and will be a flight commander in the fall.

 

My kids would have failed the bottle and the baby test, (though I did have one reading fluently at 4) and I did have one fail the parts of the body test. They asked her to show her ankle, and she didn't want to take her tights down. She was horrified at the thought, not having occurred to her that she could just point THROUGH the tights! She failed the catching the ball test. She would STILL fail the catching the ball test, even though she's a professional musician. Heck, my next one would have failed the ball test if I'd been stupid enough to get her tested. As she's now teaching Navy pilots to fly the most advanced helicopter ever designed, I think she has her motor skills well under control. :lol:

 

When I spoke to the Spec Ed director (my boss), he suggested with my oldest who had "failed" so many tests that she work on her swimming, take ballet, and learn to ski!

 

Go get help with your depression, and know that the school blindsided your kids.

Sounds like this

 

michael filmmaker finland school

 

https://youtu.be/WVCTqgrFIPs

Edited July 26, 2016 by Alessandra

[SparklyUnicorn]

Am I the only one sitting here thinking, that as an ADULT I would refuse to write out the number 1-100 in one sitting? It's a ridiculous thing to do and would make my hand cramp up and my brain go numb. Maybe I'm a failure, lol. 

 

If I transplanted my current attitude into my younger self I'd do a lot worse than that.  LOL 

 

Someone could say the numbers in a minute or two.  Writing that out...talk about dumb. 

[eternalsummer]

You can assess your children yourself pretty easily at this age.  Can the rising 3rd grader (or 2nd grader?) read?  Can s/he write the numbers to 100 and add and subtract? (not saying memorized facts, but the concept of adding and subtraction)  

 

How far *can* the almost-6 year old write the numbers, in a non-stress situation?  

 

 

There is a huge difference between what a kid can actually do and what that same kid can do in a very stressful situation; the test you should be looking at is what your kids actually know and can do, not whether they can perform in high-stress situations.

[Frances]

At 6 I bet my mathy kid would not have written many numbers down because he would have been overwhelmed with all of that writing. That is a lot of writing. And since we did a lot of one on one stuff he didn't need to do as much writing. I would never have said here write down all the numbers from 1 - 100. That's a ridiculous assignment. He took his first college level math course starting at 13. What would they have told me at that point? He is hopelessly behind in math because he won't write the numbers 1 -100. Stupid!

Exactly! At five, having number sense is far more important than being able to write numbers. My son loved being the banker for Monopoly at the age and handled all of the associated math mentally, but getting him to write anything would have been a disaster.

[eternalsummer]

I agree that the writing of numbers to 100 seems like a lot of unnecessary work but not that the substitute test is whether the kid can say the numbers to 100.  My memory (brief) of DC's K testing is that what they were teaching and testing was the writing of numbers as much as the sequence of them.

[amsunshine]

I'm fairly certain it is not expected here for kids to be able to write all the numbers from 1 to 100 in one sitting even at the END of K.  My son (whose 9th birthday is coming up Aug 3... making me wonder when your daughter's is), who is way advanced, could not have done that then and might struggle now (At the end of 3rd grade) -- because of the amount of writing. Not the numbers.

 

Having a child write all numbers from 1 to 100 is not a typical kindergarten skill.  Right before I pulled my 1st grader out of ps 1st grade, I was a volunteer in her classroom.  The vast majority of those 1st grade kids could not even count to 100, let alone write the numbers to 100.  And that was a supposedly well-performing public school.

[bettyandbob]

I want to say the charter school testing sounds terrible and likely means it is not a good school for the OP. I just think the OP has not told us a lot about her dc and what they do. She doesn't need to tell us more about them. However, I think with the missing information it's hard to figure out the appropriate direction to suggest to the OP.

[pinkmint]

The thing is I'm getting a one sided view because I've only seen the depression and financial troubles. 

 

I think the impression I leave here probably does not show the whole picture. I tend to express my struggles a lot. I am like that in real life too but there's much more to it than just that in real life. I think I probably need to be less "expressive" about my troubles. I don't know. 

 

Anyway, we have what I would consider to be adequate resources to homeschool and I don't think letting them watch Magic Schoolbus episodes is homeschool. 

 

I think I have depression colored glasses on right now. I am going to make dealing with that a priority. I also need to figure out why I care so much what other people (this lady today) think about me, deal with that, and work on being confident and okay with what I'm doing and why. 

 

I think homeschool is looking better by the minute after today. I just need to fortify myself to handle it. When we were talking to 7 yo DS yesterday about the possibility of school one of the first things he asked is "Will I be able to play?" The kid may be "severely behind" according to this lady, but he makes custom Lego creations that I, as a grown adult, would not even know where to start in how to build. Not saying playing Legos is curriculum or whatever, it just fits with what others have said and what I personally happen to believe too. Play is of the utmost importance in learning, and that's part of what we've done a good job cultivating here at home. It's something of value no matter what these contrived, stressful 2 hour tests show about my small children. 

[umsami]

DS3 entered public Kindy last year in February.  He was 5, and will be 6 this August.  There were three seven year olds and a whole bunch of six year olds in his class.  He was behind, to them, when we got there, because they'd been drilling on Fry words since day one.   We had been going through 100EZ and then AAR at our own pace.  We were doing fine, but I wasn't stressing/pushing sight words.  By the end of the year, DS3 had caught up.  He didn't enjoy the process, though, however he did.  His teacher said he obviously had a good background and was read to a lot because of how fast he caught up.  But yes, he would have failed an entrance exam miserably.

 

Don't beat yourself up.  Your kids are not behind by any normal standard.  They may be behind in this new Kindy is 1st grade model, but they're not.  And nobody can behind for entering Kindy. I don't care what she told you.

Edited July 26, 2016 by umsami

[SKL]

Yeah, I don't know if my kid could have written 1-100 at almost 6yo, because I never asked her to, because why would I??   Anything that could be learned via that test could be learned by a much shorter test of writing, combined with a few oral questions and tasks with manipulatives.

[catz]

My kid did write 1-100 in kindergarten.  But they did it as a project in groups of 10.  They wrote 1-10 on little cards and glued to a poster board.  And added numbers as they went along over time.  They never sat down and just wrote them out straight.  That's pretty nuts. 

 

A good evaluator would approach a young child like "can you count?"  "how high can you count?"  "Can I hear you count?"  "Wow - can you write any of those numbers?"   And make it much less threatening and daunting, and much more conversational.

Edited July 26, 2016 by WoolySocks

[Guest]

A very, very good point. I just moved from an area with a very strong, very beloved charter program. Those charters look amazing next to the public schools, but when I dug deeper, it quickly became clear that they were "better" because they kept all but the easy students out (yes, there were a few exceptions, but those charter schools were bragging on their programs for LD kids, not bragging on their rather poor test scores. Those of us with not NT kids value that.). My oldest couldn't have gotten in to any of those "excellent" schools because their tests would have ruled him out.

 

It's called "cream-skimming."

 

It's one of the reasons people get up in arms about charter schools in their districts, run by the public system.  If it is public, it is public.  

 

My son went to a cream-skimming private school.  I had mixed feelings about it, but I figure private is private and we paid through the nose for it on top of our taxes.  But public is public and it ought to be PUBLIC.

 

I'm a fan of a lot of things about charter schools, mostly related to local control and focused and unified curriculum.  But I am NOT in favor of public-schools being able to cream-skim.

[Guest]

Am I the only one sitting here thinking, that as an ADULT I would refuse to write out the number 1-100 in one sitting? It's a ridiculous thing to do and would make my hand cramp up and my brain go numb. Maybe I'm a failure, lol.

No, you aren't the only one. I was thinking the same thing.

[SKL]

It's called "cream-skimming."

 

It's one of the reasons people get up in arms about charter schools in their districts, run by the public system.  If it is public, it is public.  

 

My son went to a cream-skimming private school.  I had mixed feelings about it, but I figure private is private and we paid through the nose for it on top of our taxes.  But public is public and it ought to be PUBLIC.

 

I'm a fan of a lot of things about charter schools, mostly related to local control and focused and unified curriculum.  But I am NOT in favor of public-schools being able to cream-skim.

 

I suspect my kids' school does this sneakily.  This year the two lowest-performing children in my kids' class are not returning.  Hmm.  With one kid on the high-maintenance side (needs tutoring, extra time, etc.) it makes me nervous.

 

[Haiku]

I think I have depression colored glasses on right now. 

 

My oldest, who is now an adult, has depression. Before she was treated for it (when she was a teenager), in her view everything was horrible. Every small setback was a tragedy. Every minor annoyance paralyzed her. 

 

I won't say that treatment fixed everything, but she is a functional person who is mostly able to pursue her goals and manage her life.

 

If you are suffering from depression, getting treatment is the first priority. I agree with whomever upthread said that nothing will get better until your depression is treated.

 

Aside from that, this "placement" or "readiness" test sounds like a sham, and I wouldn't give it another thought.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I think the impression I leave here probably does not show the whole picture. I tend to express my struggles a lot. I am like that in real life too but there's much more to it than just that in real life. I think I probably need to be less "expressive" about my troubles. I don't know. 

 

Anyway, we have what I would consider to be adequate resources to homeschool and I don't think letting them watch Magic Schoolbus episodes is homeschool. 

 

I think I have depression colored glasses on right now. I am going to make dealing with that a priority. I also need to figure out why I care so much what other people (this lady today) think about me, deal with that, and work on being confident and okay with what I'm doing and why. 

 

I think homeschool is looking better by the minute after today. I just need to fortify myself to handle it. When we were talking to 7 yo DS yesterday about the possibility of school one of the first things he asked is "Will I be able to play?" The kid may be "severely behind" according to this lady, but he makes custom Lego creations that I, as a grown adult, would not even know where to start in how to build. Not saying playing Legos is curriculum or whatever, it just fits with what others have said and what I personally happen to believe too. Play is of the utmost importance in learning, and that's part of what we've done a good job cultivating here at home. It's something of value no matter what these contrived, stressful 2 hour tests show about my small children. 

 

I sometimes wonder how I come across.  I feel like people might think I'm a hot mess half the time.  I'm pessimistic.  I crap on people's suggestions.  I worry about everything.  I mean really....  I have had some very very hairy moments over the years.  This past year was probably one of the worst years I've had with homeschooling.  I seriously wanted to give up.  I still do.  I've been doing this for good grief 10 years now and I'm sometimes just burnt to a crisp. 

 

I guess I just pick myself up and dust myself off and keep going. 

 

I don't know the whole picture, but I've encountered some very nutty homeschoolers and you do not register on the nutter's scale.  Having little kids is hard.  Being depressed is hard.  Worrying about money is hard.  Probably many of us here have had all these issues at one time or another.  You know, I once met a homeschooler who turned out to be harboring dead dogs in her house.  So ya know....  You are pretty boring and normal! 

 

I suck at Legos. 

[heartlikealion]

Am I the only one sitting here thinking, that as an ADULT I would refuse to write out the number 1-100 in one sitting? It's a ridiculous thing to do and would make my hand cramp up and my brain go numb. Maybe I'm a failure, lol. 

 

 

:iagree:

[goldberry]

You haven't had time to ruin your kids lives. They will be fine. 

 

 

A 7 year old simply can't be THAT "far behind" unless there are significant developmental delays. I mean, really, its SEVEN. 

 

 

 

. At 5 and 7 there simply is no "being behind". There is a huge, wide curve of abilities at this ages 

 

 

I agree with all that.  No one can be "so far behind" at 5 and 7.  That is just ridiculous.

[38carrots]

You're falling into the same trap the public schools are bound up in right now, which is measuring intelligence and ability by academics alone, specifically by the 3Rs as defined by School Standards 2016. (They're doing it because this is quantifiable through standardized tests, or so it's believed. Why are you doing it?)

 

Several people in this thread have said it, but I'll say it again, anyway: children who get to play and explore and be silly are coming out ahead these days, because their every thought is not commandeered by stressful, developmentally inappropriate expectations on their lives.

 

I have a couple of those genius hs'ers who make people think I must be doing this right, who are high school and college aged now. Guess what they were doing at ages 5 and 7? Reading early, yes. Learning math easily, yes. Not that anyone even observed those processes; we studied at home! But mostly they were climbing trees and playing cowboys. They were children without school stress. That was the gift of homeschooling.

 

Yes to the bolded, BUT...it was't even a proper test of their academics! It was a joke of a test. A 30 minute assessment of a hungry, unprepared child? You're kidding me.

 

[38carrots]

I think the impression I leave here probably does not show the whole picture. I tend to express my struggles a lot. I am like that in real life too but there's much more to it than just that in real life. I think I probably need to be less "expressive" about my troubles. I don't know. 

 

Anyway, we have what I would consider to be adequate resources to homeschool and I don't think letting them watch Magic Schoolbus episodes is homeschool. 

 

I think I have depression colored glasses on right now. I am going to make dealing with that a priority. I also need to figure out why I care so much what other people (this lady today) think about me, deal with that, and work on being confident and okay with what I'm doing and why. 

 

I think homeschool is looking better by the minute after today. I just need to fortify myself to handle it. When we were talking to 7 yo DS yesterday about the possibility of school one of the first things he asked is "Will I be able to play?" The kid may be "severely behind" according to this lady, but he makes custom Lego creations that I, as a grown adult, would not even know where to start in how to build. Not saying playing Legos is curriculum or whatever, it just fits with what others have said and what I personally happen to believe too. Play is of the utmost importance in learning, and that's part of what we've done a good job cultivating here at home. It's something of value no matter what these contrived, stressful 2 hour tests show about my small children. 

 

Magic Schoolbus is AMAZING for learning! It is engaging, creative and exuberant. If you had to learn a new topic, would you rather do it via a "curriculum" or an engaging video presentation that made facts stick to your brain and inspired you to learn more? My 13 year old *still* occasionally watches Arthur and tells her younger siblings that it is an amazing show for learning (social studies.) I don't know why we tend to put Magic Schoolbus etc down, it is absolutely perfect.

 

Lego is AMAZING for learning. Don't put yourself and your children down. There are amazing resources that seem "easy" or "playful" or not serious enough and they encourage and inspire learning.

 

You really don't need to justify your choices, you don't need to "play school" and have a curriculum at their ages. You could, if you and your children loved it and it was easy and fun. If it stresses you out, there's really no point, and no, they won't be "behind", period.

 

Hang in there. Do what you love. Do what your babies love. :grouphug:

 

 

 

 

[TechWife]

And am I really going to start my kids in their very first school setting already "behind" and being labeled as "not where they should be"? Older than their classmates etc and being reminded of their inadequacy?

 

I think kids have to be taught those attitudes. They don't come up with them on their own. They are starting right where they should be, period. If they both need to start in K, that's fine, that's right where they should be. If one starts in K and the other starts in first or second grade, that's fine, that's right where they should be. It is very common for kids to be six years old entering kindergarten now, I don't think they will be significantly older than their classmates. Your children are not "inadequate." They should never be told that, nor "reminded" of that, ever. 

[TechWife]

First things first:  Are you being treated for your depression?  You need to get your own oxygen mask on, so to speak.  The depression is going to color everything related to how you perceive and deal with everything in your situation.  

 

 

 

 

This, 1000 times, this! 

SaveSave

[Liz CA]

Sometimes I kinda wish my kids were the stereotypical homeschoolers that are impressing everyone with their reading fluently at age 2 and applying to medical school at age 7. Maybe then I could be impressed with what homeschooling is doing for them and fend off the haters who want to prove that what I'm doing at home isn't working and isn't real education.

 

They are just your average neurotypical kids who would rather play dinosaurs and watch silly videos than read and write.

 

It occurs to me that you were blindsided - and this happens to all of us at times. Under different circumstances you probably would have said: "It's not a good time now for testing. I have my toddler with me and the kids are hungry and expecting lunch. We need to schedule a different time for it."

 

Once you get help for the depression, you will be able to put this incident in its proper frame of reference and not use it to beat yourself up for one more second.

[Arcadia]

You need to avoid the naysayers in your life too while you seek treatment for depression. The naysayers just compound the homeschooling and financial issues for you.

[AmandaVT]

I agree with everyone else that your kids didn't get a proper assessment. And I wanted to add my  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

We took DS to K screening the spring before his K year. The teacher played with him - they played rhyming games, they played with blocks. She talked to him and read him a book. He loved to count at the time and also loved nothing more than to show off that skill - at no point did she ask him to write down numbers. At one point, she asked him how high he could count, but there was no writing. It was gentle and un-intimidating and I think that's how a school screening should be.  

 

You haven't failed your kids. That school failed at their assessments.

[ErinE]

Words of encouragement. The school gave one of my children a test at the start of the school year, and she tested poorly. There was talk of remediation, putting her in a lower grade, etc. I pushed back, hard. Six months later, she took the same test, slightly higher level, and scored well enough to be accepted into their accelerated program. I had her for four years, the school, six months. Did she really gain that much knowledge in those six months? No.

 

When we talked about it later, she said she didn't understand the first test or the instructions she was given. The second time around, since she was used to the expectations, she scored better.

[AimeeM]

Your school aged kids are 7 and 5. That they are on kindergarten levels is NOT a failure - that's hardly behind, if at all. There is so much room for personalities, pacing, and learning styles at those ages. 

[zoobie]

Am I the only one sitting here thinking, that as an ADULT I would refuse to write out the number 1-100 in one sitting? It's a ridiculous thing to do and would make my hand cramp up and my brain go numb. Maybe I'm a failure, lol. 

 

Or start doodling. One of mine might have done it in Roman numerals just...because... Or written literally "1 to 100." Sigh.

[OneStepAtATime]

Your school aged kids are 7 and 5. That they are on kindergarten levels is NOT a failure - that's hardly behind, if at all. There is so much room for personalities, pacing, and learning styles at those ages. 

And the assessment didn't actually test anything useful for truly determining where they are, as far as I can tell.  The test was very poorly administered but it also appears to have been very poorly constructed, too.  I also assume the person administering the test has no clue how to actually assess a child since they failed to recognize how poor the test and the testing environment was.

[MomatHWTK]

You aren't going to get out of your current situation(s) until you are able to overcome the negativity caused by the depression. Everything you mention ends with a "not acceptable" or a "can't." This isn't a reasonable, rational, or logical response to challenges--it is a depression response. 

 

If a seven-year-old watches educational videos, he or she has learned something. My advice for someone not bound by depression would be that rather than craft a plan you can't accomplish and then declare failure you should accept a plan that can work, and begin working toward improvement. The depression has you in a cycle of self-defeat.

 

My six-year-old can't write at all. But he can do simple multiplication and knows what atoms and molecules are. He knows that the current U.S. flag design is different than the one used in 1776 and occasionally reads the headlines in the WSJ. We use LOTS of videos, electronic learning and any other resources work. I don't have an "unacceptable" list based on what others think but only "works for my family." 

 

If some options are absolutely impermissible under any circumstances, then eliminate only those options and consider everything else.

If you cannot stop putting up roadblocks at every turn, understand that it is your mental condition and not the circumstances that are preventing progress. 

Find out what resources are available to treat the depression and get it taken care of. Otherwise, everything else will continue to be a problem.

 

:grouphug:

 

[bettyandbob]

Magic Schoolbus is AMAZING for learning! It is engaging, creative and exuberant. If you had to learn a new topic, would you rather do it via a "curriculum" or an engaging video presentation that made facts stick to your brain and inspired you to learn more? My 13 year old *still* occasionally watches Arthur and tells her younger siblings that it is an amazing show for learning (social studies.) I don't know why we tend to put Magic Schoolbus etc down, it is absolutely perfect.

 

 

I brought MSB. I actually think MSB is great for what it is. My point was watching an MSB video or equivalent is not school if that's all you do. I have been around people who tried to say that was enough to call school and the results are not good. Now watching MSB and following up with activities based the principles in the video that can be a serious amount of science and learning. But random daily edutainment without focus is not that great.

 

The OP seemed to understand what I was saying and she knows what she is focusing on with her kids. I'm sure it can be great if she can find a way to get healthy too.

[redsquirrel]

OP, I don't think finding this upsetting is 'caring too much what other people think'. I personally am pretty good at brushing off people with a bad attitude. But, this would be a difficult for anyone without a bulletproof ego to dismiss easily.  I think what you have gone through would have me day drinking and I don't struggle with depression. 

 

So, do what you need to do to reassure yourself you and your kids are ok. Yes, I think it is perfect and absolutely the right thing for you to do to deal with your depression...but I would say that to you no matter the circumstance. You are a mother and your kids depend on you to have everything in the game, and I am of the opinion that you have to deal with such things just as much as any other medical condition.

 

But this was a gut punch. Be gentle with yourself. And  don't punish yourself further for your natural and appropriate response.  This is going to feel like crap for a while.  But don't make any huge decisions based on fear. Nothing good will come of that. When those ugly voices start speaking in your ear, just remember the things that have been said here and try get your self back to a better place, ok?

 

If you really, really want to, you can pay 30$ to have your oldest take the CAT test once at the beginning of the school year and another 30$ to have her/him take again at the end of the year. You compare the two scores and it will measure academic growth over the year. It is only testing language skills and math. I'm not convinced it's the best use of time, but it might make you feel better in June or whenever you end your school year.  I'm not saying you should, just that stuff like that is out there for you to use.

 

[ktgrok]

I brought MSB. I actually think MSB is great for what it is. My point was watching an MSB video or equivalent is not school if that's all you do. I have been around people who tried to say that was enough to call school and the results are not good. Now watching MSB and following up with activities based the principles in the video that can be a serious amount of science and learning. But random daily edutainment without focus is not that great.

 

The OP seemed to understand what I was saying and she knows what she is focusing on with her kids. I'm sure it can be great if she can find a way to get healthy too.

 

Actually for a little kid, I think Magic School Bus with no follow up is plenty for that day's science work. In the early grades, mind you, not for a 6th grader. 

[maize]

The writing numbers test really was ridiculous. I'm not sure I have ever seen my six year old write a single number.

 

He figured out 5x11 though this morning, I only had to prompt him by asking if he could figure out what 5x10 was.

[LMD]

Um, my son turns 6 in a week and a half and I'm sure he can't write all the numbers to 100. He could possibly verbally count them but you'd probably get a couple of extra runs through the 60s and 70s lol.

He is not behind, in fact he's quite bright. But in a situation like that - stranger taking them to a different room and testing them - he'd probably just flip out and forget his own name.

I agree with pp that it sounds like you dodged a bullet. You don't need to beg these people to condescend to teach your precious children, eff that. Those aren't people to trust.

 

I know you're really struggling at the moment and I can't imagine what a kick in the teeth this must have felt like. Can you give your kids a little test at home, NOT to prove anything to the school, but to reassure yourself and boost your confidence?

 

I'm really sorry. It totally sucks when the hits just keep coming.

[Guest]

I'm sorry. I have had a similar experience and, yeah, it made me feel like a failure. And that was after having already had one child who was several grade levels advanced...it just made me think, "Well, terrific. I did a bang-up job with one child and totally bombed on another."

 

That isn't the truth, though.

 

And FWIW, taking tests is itself a skill that requires practice. My kid bombed a test that was anticipated. I can't imagine how poorly he would have done if it were spung on him.

[Janeway]

You need to know how and what they tested them on before you assume they are correct. And can their own kids pass these tests?

 

Our local public schools were giving tests to kids who had been home schoolers. They mostly did this to make an example of the kids. They put a bunch of stuff on the tests that no public schooler could pass. They also included stuff that was not on the TEKs. 

 

Forget that charter school. You know what you know. Move on from them. I seriously doubt your children are behind like that.

[Janeway]

An example is that my almost 6 yo was told to write as many numbers as she could in a row up to 100 and only wrote the number 1.

 

She 100 percent knows how to count. This test was completely unexpected. They were hungry and taken off guard. We thought we were dropping papers an leaving.

 

I don't know what to think. I just feel like a big fat, no options failure right now. I am basically ruining my kids lives.

I think you were bulldozed. 

[Janeway]

Thanks so much everyone.

 

Like I said before, I really do want to homeschool. Stuff like this is a good argument for homeschooling even. I don't even like the idea of every kid needing top know exactly xy and z by exactly a certain age. I just fear I'm doing a poor job of it and of course today's incident doesn't do anything for my confidence.

 

Maybe I'll just try getting medicated again for the depression for the time being and do my best to homeschool.

I take Deplin. I have MTHFR. Maybe you could look in to that? Anti-depressants have never worked on me. The Deplin has. Google it.

[Little Nyssa]

But who was the person giving you these results? If it was an administrator, who was snarky and discouraging- don't take that as necessarily the tone of the teachers. We've had wonderful teachers throughout PS, which I would never have guessed from the front office.

Also "so far behind" to me means four or five years behind... But we're talking here about 1 year, right? Or maybe even a few months? Don't let that get you down.