Do you work hard to avoid being overweight or obese?

[Ann.without.an.e]

Another thread has me thinking.....

I fight tooth and nail for my weight to fall in the upper end of normal on the BMI chart because my body so desperately wants to be severely overweight.  Sometimes I can't even keep it that low. If I continue to eat healthy but slack on really watching my intake or stop exercising then I pack on weight fast. As my mama always said....life ain't fair. It sucks, it isn't fun. I feel like so many others around me are either naturally thin-to-average sized or they embrace being large and make condemning comments about my efforts ("is it really worth it?"). I guess if I could somehow obtain an ideal body in the process then others would consider my efforts as valuable.  Sometimes I feel like I just work way too hard for my size. 

 

This is MY choice but I do not judge those who are in my position and choose not to fight it.

I must either eat strict paleo/whole 30 OR track every morsel that goes into my mouth.
I need to hit it hard with weights and cardio for about 1-1.5 hours a day, 4-5 days a week.

Why? When I let the weight creep up I am uncomfortable. I can hardly breathe and life is just harder. I don't like the feeling and tiredness it brings. It really isn't about vanity for me.

I'm curious to hear from others who battle this issue. What measures do you take to keep from being overweight (food or exercise related)? Why is it worth it for you to fight this battle?

Edited May 10, 2016 by Attolia

[SparklyUnicorn]

No..which is why I'm overweight.

 

But yeah I wonder this sort of thing a lot. How hard to people have to work at this in general?

 

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

No..which is why I'm overweight.

 

But yeah I wonder this sort of thing a lot. How hard to people have to work at this in general?

 

I think it has to do with genetics and for me genetics is a bitch 😂

Edited May 9, 2016 by Attolia

[Kim in Appalachia]

My dh does.  He runs, on average, between 25-30 miles a week, and he tracks what he eats.  If he doesn't he starts to gain.  He is no where near heavy, but I have seen him put weight on very quickly.  It's genetics and yes, it stinks.  

 

And  :grouphug: .  

[ktgrok]

I can gain 5 lbs in a  weekend and it will take a month to lose it. I fight and fight hard. 
And that's AFTER weight loss surgery!

[hornblower]

I choose to reframe this as not hard but just as reality. 

I have a stocky build - not naturally willowy or wiry.  I have a body type that if indulged, turns plump. Left plump for too long, it turns to all out overweight or obese. Many people in my family who do not pay attn to diet & exercise, end up fat.  

I choose not to go down that path. It's part of my life, part of who I am, to not go down that route. 

It's as hard as being curious, being a lifelong learner, being engaged in current events, attempting to understand politics and economics & participating in "the great conversation".  Sure, life is all hard sometimes.

I don't really have any expectations of it being easy. 
 

[hornblower]

Also, I like to console myself that I'm the product of many generations of a very good evolutionary strategy. 

I'm an 'easy keeper' - small amounts of food keep me full & running. That was important for many thousands of years.  In case of famine, I have a great advantage :D 

[Peaceful Isle]

Oh my goodness, yes.

 

I have never been the skinny girl. I am, right now, only ten pounds above my bmi, and wear about a size 12. I work really hard at staying under 160. If I slack off a tiny bit, up the scale goes in a big way. Definately a hard thing for me. :(

[Ali in OR]

I do have to be mindful. I learned last year that I can't just eat what I want without tracking. Weight does come on more easily than it comes off. But I don't think I have to go to unusual measures--tracking what I eat, avoiding sweets most days, exercising most days (30 min on treadmill, 10 min weights/strength training) seems to be doing the job.

[Ali in OR]

Also, I like to console myself that I'm the product of many generations of a very good evolutionary strategy. 

 

I'm an 'easy keeper' - small amounts of food keep me full & running. That was important for many thousands of years.  In case of famine, I have a great advantage :D

 

My dad used to say that he'd last the longest in the lifeboat!

[umsami]

It's always been a struggle for me.  I never had that carefree time, even in childhood, where I could eat what I wanted.  I've always been on a diet of some sort.  One of my kids inherited my bad fortune, the other three are O.K.  I feel for the one who did, because he actually eats more healthfully than his siblings.  I tell him he'll be better off long term, but I ache for him.

[SparklyUnicorn]

When I was working hard at it, that involved 2 hours a day 6 days a week at a gym, and eating very little.  I was thin and in very good shape.  But then I also had plenty of time and only myself to take care of. 

 

The running joke here is I'm too short for my weight.  A doctor might as well say it that way because losing weight is about as likely as gaining height.

 

 

[Murphy101]

The older I'm getting the more work it is. I never gave my weight the slightest thought until I hit 36 and then it was like some genetic switch flipped and my body was trying to make up for all the previous years.

 

It's not fair, but it beats feeling like crap every day. And even on the days when I thought I felt okay, I'm learning I had really just gotten used to feeling like crap. So a good day had slowly just become feeling normally crappy and a bad day was feeling a lot worse than that.

 

I'm gaining a ton of weight with this pregnancy and yep... Miserable side effects are kicking in. I'm trying to beat off the weight and the fatigue, but it's like climbing Mt Everest every single day.

Edited May 9, 2016 by Murphy101

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't feel like crap at all. 

[Joker]

I do. Dh doesn't. He's in his mid forties and can still eat like a teenager. He also rarely exercises anymore. At his last physical, all his numbers were perfect and they actually said they wanted him to gain five pounds. Uggghhh.

[Murphy101]

I don't feel like crap at all.

*shrug* Okay. Good for you.

 

I found I was more tired, my joints and indigestion were aggravated more often, I couldn't go things I'd been able to do before or I couldn't do them without suffering for it later. Like go down the slide at the playground with my infant or toddler. Long hikes. I couldn't just get down on the floor and play with my baby and I couldn't just stand up from doing so. I had to ease down and use furntiture to get up. A lot of things I attributed to the general aches and pains of just getting older disappeared when I lost weight. And I didn't think I felt like crap until I started to feel better. Feeling like crap had slowly bc so normal that I didn't even think of it as anything but just my normal good status.

 

If you don't have any of that, great.

[SparklyUnicorn]

*shrug* Okay. Good for you.

 

I found I was more tired, my joints and indigestion were aggravated more often, I couldn't go things I'd been able to do before or I couldn't do them without suffering for it later. Like go down the slide at the playground with my infant or toddler. Long hikes. I couldn't just get down on the floor and play with my baby and I couldn't just stand up from doing so. I had to ease down and use furntiture to get up. A lot of things I attributed to the general aches and pains of just getting older disappeared when I lost weight. And I didn't think I felt like crap until I started to feel better. Feeling like crap had slowly bc so normal that I didn't even think of it as anything but just my normal good status.

 

If you don't have any of that, great.

 

Well it probably also explains why I'm not more motivated.  I suffer more when feeling deprived all the time than not depriving myself all of the time. 

[Soror]

I work harder than some and less than others. With thyroid disease it can be a bit of a roller coaster. It can be hard not to be resentful. Some times I fail but I try to keep a focus on feeling healthy. My options are to eat whatever and be lazy and feel like crap or eat well and be active and feel better. All in all, feeling better is a lot easier then just doing whatever and feeling horrible. I came to this very simple and obvious conclusion this year, life is not fair or easy. We all have different struggles. I'm working on gratitude for that which I do have!

[Murphy101]

Well it probably also explains why I'm not more motivated. I suffer more when feeling deprived all the time than not depriving myself all of the time.

That's why I think whole30 worked for me. I could eat when I felt hungry, it just needed to be compliant. So yeah, sometimes I was real cranky bc I just wanted a chocolate cookie and a glass of wine dammit. But for the most part, if I felt hungry or just wanted to eat something, I could as long as it was compliant. Because yeah, a person isn't going to live the rest of their life denying themselves food.

 

I can't do the whole weigh the food and count the calories and points and so on. Ugh. I have a life here. I need to be able to see the food, is it okay or not, and then eat the food. Simple worked for me.

 

Right now it is not bc I swear this baby only wants junk food. My dh made homemade compliant taco salad for me this weekend bc I've been craving it for a week and one whiff sent me hurling. Son brings home cheap nachos with that can't have ever actually been cheese on chips that will probably outlast the apocalypse and I ate the whole platter for him bc it was the first thing all day that the smell didn't make me queasy so I was beyond hungry. Baby was in heaven. Ugh.

[Guest]

Yes, I work hard daily.

[GinaPagnato]

Over the course of my adult life I have gained and lost the same 50 pounds at 3 separate times. I plan to NEVER have to do that again.

 

I have always struggled with my weight. Once I hit puberty I started to gain. I didn't eat any differently than my friends, so far as I can remember, but I was always chubby and I hated it.

 

As I got older, had babies and health problems, I gained weight. A non-functioning thyroid and menopause made things worse. I had to work SO hard to lose the weight, but I have maintained for the last 3 years. Maintaining is actually harder for me than losing. I have to be in the zone mentally and aware of everything I eat or else I'll gain, slowly but surely.

 

For me to keep off the weight, I do the following:

 

1) Weigh myself several times a week

2) Watch my intake very closely

3) Vigorous exercise 5-6 days a week, for close to an hour

 

Most of my reasons and motivation for staying thin is health related, but I won't lie. Vanity plays an important role for me. I much prefer the way I look when I'm this weight. Clothes shopping is easier because styles are cuter and more flattering, at least where I shop. And I actually enjoy shopping, though I don't have much time to do it.

 

I am determined to not gain the weight back ever again. I've finally learned how to keep it down, and I plan to continue doing it!

 

 

[madteaparty]

Don't even.

[Laura Corin]

Yes.  I exercise every day for at least 40 minutes, usually much more (40 minutes of walking at lunchtime and again in the evening, or 40 minutes of walking and then an hour at a yoga class).  The vet is very happy with my dog's fitness.  I don't watch much television and I come here in odd moments - when I drink a cup of tea after work, or during breakfast or lunch.  I keep a strict eye on my weight and act as soon as it gets beyond my comfortable range.

Edited May 9, 2016 by Laura Corin

[Carrie12345]

If "work hard" means "make myself miserable", then no.  (Disclaimer: I'm 10lbs overweight right now, and I'm REALLY not working hard.)

I do have to put in a lot of mental energy and a fair amount of physical energy into remaining not-obese and being/getting out of overweight, and I can't quite call that *easy.  But it doesn't make me miserable.  I enjoy it once I get going.

 

And I don't have a model's body even when I'm not overweight.  That is not a physical possibility for me, or for most people.

[LMD]

Yep. I'm busting my butt at the moment to lose. 5 years of not being careful and stress eating added waaaaaay too much weight. I'm about a third of the way to my goal and just had a break day for mother's day - a reward for hitting 10kg lost.

I have also come to the realisation that I cannot just relax with food everyday. I am just not strong enough to stop when it's sensible. So it's off the menu completely unless I make a special occasion exception.

 

I actually didn't even really enjoy the sweets I ate on mother's day, the sugar cravings are gone. The salad I made was much more appetising. Maybe I can eat like that...

 

But dh and I do get sick of watching everything and it begins to feel like you're not living. Especially for him, he works at a chocolate factory!

[Ann.without.an.e]

Yep. I'm busting my butt at the moment to lose. 5 years of not being careful and stress eating added waaaaaay too much weight. I'm about a third of the way to my goal and just had a break day for mother's day - a reward for hitting 10kg lost.

I have also come to the realisation that I cannot just relax with food everyday. I am just not strong enough to stop when it's sensible. So it's off the menu completely unless I make a special occasion exception.

 

I actually didn't even really enjoy the sweets I ate on mother's day, the sugar cravings are gone. The salad I made was much more appetising. Maybe I can eat like that...

 

But dh and I do get sick of watching everything and it begins to feel like you're not living. Especially for him, he works at a chocolate factory!

 

Works at a chocolate factory 😫 Oh the torture :/

[Guest]

It is not very hard for me. I do have to be mindful about what I eat, how much, and how much I move/what kind of exercise. But it doesn't feel like a constant battle.

I'm a bit on the puddin' side right now because I have not exercised intentionally in a few months.

[JustEm]

Well this is the first time in my life I've ever been obese, although I have been overweight most of my adult life. My biggest problem is the crazy hormonal change during my pregnancies. I gain a ridiculous amount during pregnancy even while eating well and exercising until labor starts. Then I can't lose weight for a year while breastfeeding. Once I'm done breastfeeding the weight melts off but maintaining is hard. The exercise is easy but eating mindfully is not at all. I love all things sweet so I have to really stay aware of my eating patterns or else I overeat without realizing.

 

Currently, I'm back on my path of losing baby weight, 2 kids worth since I never weaned one before getting pregnant with the next. I've lost roughly 20 lbs since weaning in February. I've got about another 50 to go.

[Jean in Newcastle]

. . . because people who are overweight or obese just didn't work hard enough to begin with?

 

Just as it is hard for people to lose weight once they are already overweight or obese, there are health problems and situations that make it so that people do become overweight or obese no matter how hard they try not to be. 

[Guest]

. . . because people who are overweight or obese just didn't work hard enough to begin with?

 

Just as it is hard for people to lose weight once they are already overweight or obese, there are health problems and situations that make it so that people do become overweight or obese no matter how hard they try not to be.

Yes ma'am - you nailed why I hate these discussions.

 

That's exactly why I said I worked very hard. It doesn't mean I've succeeded. And in some ways I worked less hard at 160 pounds than now, at 250-ish. It wasn't my effort or willpower that changed, but my body chemistry.

 

Of course, I could just be a lazier, weaker person who is bad for eating when hungry and resting when I have no energy... I just love it when people moralize and 'splain why they're thin and I'm not. Hard work isn't actually the difference, or I'd have never lost a person worth of weight to begin with.

 

*sigh*

Edited May 9, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Ann.without.an.e]

. . . because people who are overweight or obese just didn't work hard enough to begin with?

 

Just as it is hard for people to lose weight once they are already overweight or obese, there are health problems and situations that make it so that people do become overweight or obese no matter how hard they try not to be.

 

I have a thyroid problem and I work and eat like I'm a size 0 or an athlete and my weight fluctuates like mad - between upper normal to out of the normal range to obese at times. There are times when I work and gain anyway. I'm pretty sure I was clear that this wasn't supposed to be a judgement on size or how hard someone works but just a discussion on what we do to try to fight bulge (for those of of us where it is such a battle) and why we even take the effort. I was hopeful for some encouragement. I'm at a point right now where I just want to quit so bad but I will regret it, I know. Please, please don't try to turn this into something it isn't.

[PeachyDoodle]

I choose to reframe this as not hard but just as reality. 

 

I have a stocky build - not naturally willowy or wiry.  I have a body type that if indulged, turns plump. Left plump for too long, it turns to all out overweight or obese. Many people in my family who do not pay attn to diet & exercise, end up fat.  

 

I choose not to go down that path. It's part of my life, part of who I am, to not go down that route. 

 

It's as hard as being curious, being a lifelong learner, being engaged in current events, attempting to understand politics and economics & participating in "the great conversation".  Sure, life is all hard sometimes.

 

I don't really have any expectations of it being easy. 

 

 

Yep. I do work hard. I choose to look at it as part of my life, just as I look at laundry and cooking and the other things I have to do but don't necessarily want to.

 

Not that there aren't days that I cry because it's so hard for me and seems so easy for others. Because it seems so unfair that I work like a dog and I'm still overweight.

 

I watch what I eat closely and hit the gym for heavy cardio and weights for at least 60 minutes, 5-6 days per week. DH also has to fight his weight intensely, which is both a blessing and a curse. It's good to have someone that understands. It's bad when we both hit the skids at the same time. Things go downhill REAL fast.

 

We are experimenting with intermittent fasting  and seeing some progress with that. It would be nice if we could find something that would allow us to have an occasional slip up or cheat day without massive setbacks.

 

I FEEL so much better now that I am in shape, so that helps keep me going when things get rough.

[Pawz4me]

I suspect by most people's standards I work at it very hard.

 

But I've been doing it for so long I don't even notice any more.  It's just . . .  normal life.

 

The things I do/don't do --

 

I weigh every day and track the trend with two different apps.  'Cause one's not enough, ya know!

 

I always keep a running tally of calories consumed going in my head.  Not totally accurate to the calorie, but pretty darn close.

 

Other than coffee with a bit of half and half and Splenda (which is my splurge) I have a hard-and-fast rule of never consuming beverages that contain calories.

 

When I"m at home I weigh almost everything I eat on a food scale.  Especially salty, crunchy food that's SO easy for me to overeat.

 

I have dessert or a sweet maybe three times a year.  That's guesstimating high.  Thankfully I don't have a sweet tooth, so that's not really hard.

 

There are probably lots of other things I do that I don't even realize I'm doing just because I've done them for so long.

 

I do all those things to keep my weight in check because I do feel a lot better when it's at a good place.  Also due to my thyroid--weight creep is one of the first signs my numbers are off, so I keep a tight check on everything so I'll know if the scale starts edging up and I haven't been eating anything unusual I need to go in for a check.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Pawz4me

[Ann.without.an.e]

Yes ma'am - you nailed why I hate these discussions.

 

That's exactly why I said I worked very hard. It doesn't mean I've succeeded. And in some ways I worked less hard at 160 pounds than now, at 250-ish. It wasn't my effort or willpower that changed, but my body chemistry.

 

Of course, I could just be a lazier, weaker person who is bad for eating when hungry and resting when I have no energy... I just love it when people moralize and 'splain why they're thin and I'm not. Hard work isn't actually the difference, or I'd have never lost a person worth of weight to begin with.

 

*sigh*

 

Ummm...I'm not thin.

That was the point. Some people say it isn't worth the effort to work so hard when I don't look like it 😂😫

[SKL]

It used to be ridiculously easy for me.

 

RIght now I would need to have a lot of discipline to get back to my ideal weight (I'm not way above, it, but it's not moving the way I want it to).  I still keep telling myself that I'm going to do it and I do for two or three days - and then I eat something fattening.  :P

[Guest]

It's not worth it for how you look. You cannot control the scale. What you can control and cultivate are your habits and choices and make ones that fit you and make you feel good. If I never lose another pound but enjoy good health and better energy for what I do? Great. That's my goal. I want to lose the weight again. It's exhausting to carry around another person 24/7. But if I continue eating well and taking care of myself and remain fat? It's better than the alternative.

 

I can be healthy and fat/thinner/roller coastering or sick and fatter. It's not a hard choice. But I'm also not going to kill myself and burn myself out to try and lose a few measly pounds. I've done that before and my body is still rebelling for it.

[Katy]

I'm not working hard at the moment.  I just ate more than half a medium pizza for dinner.

 

But yes, ever since I went on prednisone my natural set point is obese.  I can diet, lose weight, exercise for hours every day, but I am miserably hungry if I'm not fat.  It only happened after months of that drug.

[Ann.without.an.e]

I'm not working hard at the moment.  I just ate more than half a medium pizza for dinner.

 

But yes, ever since I went on prednisone my natural set point is obese.  I can diet, lose weight, exercise for hours every day, but I am miserably hungry if I'm not fat.  It only happened after months of that drug.

 

 

Prednisone is awful...like seriously the worst combination of feeling like you are starving but gaining weight.  I hate this for you :/

Edited May 10, 2016 by Attolia

[wendy not in HI]

Also, I like to console myself that I'm the product of many generations of a very good evolutionary strategy. 

 

I'm an 'easy keeper' - small amounts of food keep me full & running. That was important for many thousands of years.  In case of famine, I have a great advantage :D

 

I was thinking "easy keeper" too, when I read the OP.  Yep!  I don't need much food to live on, and would probably come through a famine and still be chubby (if surviving on wheat or grains.)

 

Yep.  I'm working on it.  Even when I'm over weight, I'm still working on it.  I feel like I've been dieting nonstop for the last 20 years.  Some times dieting works.  Sometimes it doesn't.  I've been chubby and I've been smaller.  I feel like there is a strong hormone/insulin/something? component for me.

 

I recently lost 40 pounds doing Medifast. (Just got to my goal weight about 3 weeks ago!!) It feels great to be back to my "real" size.  In the past, I have lost 20 pounds after two different kids and kept the weight off for years.  Then it stopped working and I gained and gained for about 6 years...  I could lose a little but I couldn't get past a certain point and could put the weight back on in about 3 days.

 

I am currently transitioning off of Medifast and plan to eat Paleo for basically the rest of my life.  With maybe a treat on my birthday?? Maybe?  Bread and sugar call to me and I can't just have a little... I intend to weight daily, keep the weight off, and go back to Medifast at the first sign of re-gain.  

 

I wish I tried this diet about 5 years ago... But it's not like I wasn't trying: weight watchers, THM, 5:2, etc. Did them all... sometimes at the same time... It is a mistake to think that someone who is over-weight isn't working on it or worried about it... (so unfair!!)

[GinaPagnato]

It's not worth it for how you look. You cannot control the scale. What you can control and cultivate are your habits and choices and make ones that fit you and make you feel good. If I never lose another pound but enjoy good health and better energy for what I do? Great. That's my goal. I want to lose the weight again. It's exhausting to carry around another person 24/7. But if I continue eating well and taking care of myself and remain fat? It's better than the alternative.

 

I can be healthy and fat/thinner/roller coastering or sick and fatter. It's not a hard choice. But I'm also not going to kill myself and burn myself out to try and lose a few measly pounds. I've done that before and my body is still rebelling for it.

 

Well, maybe not for you.

 

But, for many (myself included), being overweight and not liking how I looked was a huge reason that I started my weight loss.

 

I never felt bad (as in, crappy) when I was overweight, although I wasn't obese, so maybe that's why. But I knew my health depended in part on keeping my weight down, for a variety of reasons. So, yes, good and important reasons. But sometimes, you just get motivated by more visceral reasons, like the way you look. And for me personally, that played a role and continues to play a role. No shame in that!

[SemiSweet]

I could've written your post. I have to work very hard and it's just getting worse with age. I have about a 25 pound range that I seem to bounce all over in, I've gotten a little lower and a little higher, but even on the low end I'm still about 10 pounds over a healthy BMI, but it's mostly fine with me because I feel like I look great. I have to work out 5-6 days a week, not just walking, and either track and stay around 1200-1500 calories or do Whole 30. It's incredibly frustrating, and I'm on an upswing again and very down about it. I'll never not have to work for it.

[Soror]

I think it is like anything people define hard differently. I eat a whole food diet and am active- doing both intense and low intensity exercise for several hours a week. I enjoy the exercise and the food so those things don't seem hard. What is hard is when I'm doing those things and my body randomly gains weight(like when my thyroid is out of whack). My weight is inching down after my last thyroid crash, so it isn't bad because there is progress, and I don't do starvation diets- I keep a very small calorie deficit.

 

I know some people deal with that all the time- years on end- working and working for no tangible results, that is hard. TBH most people that I know that are thin put work into it but I think it is a totally different kind of work when you're obese and have health issues, just like it was way easier for me before my thyroid went crazy- although I still did the things listed(ate good food, exercised, kept track of my weight, etc) I can't even pretend it is the same. Just the time duration alone- if you have to lose weight for a few months to get to your ideal weight vs a year or more it is a heck of a lot harder. A lot of us can do something for a few months a lot easier than we can for a year.

 

All of those things are why I answered I work than some and less than others. Keeping thin isn't effortless by any means but I'm sure not working as hard as some.

[wintermom]

Yes, I've worked hard at staying physically active and eating healthy my whole life. Luckily, I have a natural desire to be active and enjoy lots of different physical activities. I also really dislike the feeling of pain I get when I'm inactive for too long. I've got a sweet tooth and I also love salty snacks, and I've had to do lots of cutting out certain foods and try to eat more fruits and veggies, and just generally less food overall. 

 

I also live in a climate that for 6 months of the year is usually below 0 degrees F with lots of snow, and the other 6 months pleasant to be outdoors. I definitely fluctuate weight with the seasons.

 

I try to control what I can (exercise, food intake), and just deal with what I can't (hormones, aging, on-going minor health issues).  I've gotten lucky with some genes and less lucky with others. There are some things, like hips and knees, that are ticking time bombs just waiting to wear down. Hopefully when that time comes, I'll have a generally healthy body to deal with it.

 

 

[Spryte]

I'm not working hard at the moment. I just ate more than half a medium pizza for dinner.

 

But yes, ever since I went on prednisone my natural set point is obese. I can diet, lose weight, exercise for hours every day, but I am miserably hungry if I'm not fat. It only happened after months of that drug.

Right there with you. I'm on steroids daily. Have been for years. Constantly hungry. That, plus thyroid and some other issues. Ugh.

 

Weight wasn't an issue before these meds and the thyroid thing. Now I can eat next to nothing plus exercise like a fiend - and I'll hold steady or maybe drop a teensy bit. It's discouraging. But stop exercising or eat a bit more - and I gain slowly. Eat a bit more without exercising - all bets are off.

 

So, just to maintain - I have to work at it. Losing is another ball of agony. I mean wax.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Spryte

[Guest]

Well, maybe not for you.

 

But, for many (myself included), being overweight and not liking how I looked was a huge reason that I started my weight loss.

 

I never felt bad (as in, crappy) when I was overweight, although I wasn't obese, so maybe that's why. But I knew my health depended in part on keeping my weight down, for a variety of reasons. So, yes, good and important reasons. But sometimes, you just get motivated by more visceral reasons, like the way you look. And for me personally, that played a role and continues to play a role. No shame in that!

I'm speaking as someone who has struggled with weight and body image for years, morbid obesity, worked and fought my way down to a beautiful and healthy weight, and watched my body crash and destroy itself and the whole thing slip away in just outside of a year. I went from 145 to 250 in 17 months. It took me nearly seven years to get from 257 to that lovely 145. I look terrible and don't feel great either.

 

I've spent nearly a decade now fighting my biology. My cravings. My habits. My feelings. The damn scale. The dress size. I've fought constantly to be even a healthy overweight woman, because to get there has taken massive and sustained effort, not to mention the lengths to get down to 'normal' so I could be insurable, or not get mooed at walking down the street. I'm 5'2" and carrying the weight of a healthy adult woman on top of my frame. Two people, constantly 24/7. Every window and mirror I pass reminds me yet again of my failure to beat my carcass into submission. Worse, after always being the fat kid and the fat chick and the fat wife and the fat mommy (but I have such a beautiful face!) I got to have a taste of being thin. Clothing looking good and feeling comfortable. Seeing the bitter contrast in how people treat me at one weight instead of another. I've been lovely and visible and now am invisible again in the space of one pregnancy and infanthood.

 

I tell you today, as someone who has fought this most of my life and intensely the last eight years (and I'm not that old, damnit) that doing this for your looks is ALL well and good until your body doesn't give you a choice. Having been that success and felt the difference only to helplessly watch it slide away as my body shut itself down was unspeakably painful. I've spent the last ten months trying harder than ever to beat my new scenario. I have my clothes and my makeup and in my head I'm still that cute, normal sized woman who looked so good. But then I pass a reflective surface, spend yet another day logging every single bite and eating so perfectly, and watch the scale bounce. Or increase. And I battle feeling like the biggest, ugliest, fattest failure the world has ever seen. And trust me, they do see. Everyone who knows me knows how hard I worked and how long. And they've watched it slip away so fast it gave them whiplash.

 

So as that person, the one who has fought this since childhood and was super morbidly obese as a teen on my friggin wedding day. Who dieted through birthdays and Christmases and pregnancies and clawed my way down so I could feel beautiful and comfortable in my skin and be the mom my kids deserves to have. As that person? I have to tell you that just wanting to look a certain way isn't enough to will away every circumstance of time and biology that might come your way. I wanted it and got it. I still want it and can't get it for anything short of mutilating my own digestive tract. And even then, no guarantees.

 

My answer is the result of life and grief and processing over my reality. A desire, however strong, to look good, can't be the only motivator I have when I cannot CONTROL that variable. I can't make my body lose weight. Not anymore. I've tried and succeeded and then wildly failed in one smooth shot. I've blogged it for years with photos if you're interested.

 

I agree appearance is a powerful factor. I tell you with tears how much I wanted to be healthy and normal. Not even especially thin, but not this disfiguring obese fleshy suit I'm stuck in every day either. The one where I can barely haul it and a kid up the stairs without being winded because I have another adult woman on my back constantly. I wanted it so badly and I still do. But wanting it isn't enough and when these things happen you must have a guiding ethos deeper than a scale you cannot control as your motivation to care for yourself and love yourself. It is an ugly and painful thing to have something you value as much as your looks slip away and be left feeling completely helpful and a total failure.

 

I'm there. And doing it for your health and being OKAY with never shedding another pound has to be a component of any program that feeds both body and soul. Because your looks are only enough until that horrible day when they aren't.

 

That's where I'm coming from. I hope you never have to be on this side of chronic illness, medications, and persistent and pernicious obesity.

Edited May 10, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Guest]

To the OP - you've been given excellent suggestions and I second many of them. No hard feelings over the thread or the ideas. But if fighting stops working or you just plain get tired I simply have to trumpet the deep value of working on your goals and outlook about the situation instead of just an action plan for changing it. Mental work is the more important battle of weight management - and that was the reason I lost and didn't regain for quite awhile initially. Those changes to life habits and reflexive choices are what help got maintain the body you've earned.

 

If at some point the weight becomes unchangeable, though, there is still plenty of work to be done on your attitude and revising your goals. It's not hopeless even if the scale never budges again. Despite how bleak and emotional my last post sounds please know that I'm glad I did it the first time and refuse to ever give up trying to be my best. I just had to change how I defined 'best' to work with my reality. As a pregnant, chronically ill mama who never had the best biological deck, just sticking to my daily plan and making good choices is a successful day for me. Most of the time I feel good about myself just because I know I'm working hard and it could be so much worse if I stopped trying and gave up. But for my own health and well being I was forced to redefine what I considered success or I'd hate myself constantly.

 

And quite frankly, we ALL deserve better than that. Self loathing and constantly feeling like a failure does nothing but hurt me - and my pants size still doesn't budge.

 

I wish you the very best :)

[Pawz4me]

An interesting related article, just because so many of you have mentioned exercise.

 

At this point in my life I'm more inclined to focus on simply moving a lot during the day and getting a bit of strength training (mostly from simple body weight stuff right now) rather than driving myself nuts trying to get in tons of hard cardio.

[Ann.without.an.e]

An interesting related article, just because so many of you have mentioned exercise.

 

At this point in my life I'm more inclined to focus on simply moving a lot during the day and getting a bit of strength training (mostly from simple body weight stuff right now) rather than driving myself nuts trying to get in tons of hard cardio.

 

"If you embark on a weight-loss journey that involves both adding exercise and cutting calories, Montclair's Diana Thomas warned not to count those calories burned in physical activity toward extra eating.

"Pretend you didn't exercise at all," she said. "You will most likely compensate anyway so think of exercising just for health improvement but not for weight loss."

 

Interesting thought.  I often do eat back a portion of my exercise calories and I've wondered about nixing that.  Thanks for sharing.

[Epicurean]

It's probably because you aren't as insulin sensitive as other people. As a scientist says in this article, when it comes to gaining weight, carbohydrates drive insulin drives weight gain.

 

The Scientist and the Stairmaster

http://nymag.com/news/sports/38001/

 

You could get fasting glucose test from your doctor to determine if you are insulin resistant. The two main ways of managing it are paleo/keto/Atkins (which you already figured out) or taking a drug called Metformin.

[Ausmumof3]

I think everyone has to work a little bit to some degree. Probably the only ones I know who don't have some medically restricted diet like gluten free or something. Those who are successful longterm seem to have a combination of slimmer genetics anyway and finding something that helps them exercise without it being hard - something that's enjoyable or part of their routine that fits easily.