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Just to solve a disagreement....


Luanne
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I don't understand why someone would do that.  Nor can I fathom in what universe it would be considered flirting by anyone over the age of 5.  Goofing around, possibly.  Doing it to tick someone off, probable.

Edited by kewb
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Then why would someone who is my friend want to anger me? I don't fathom why anyone over the age of 14 would do this unless it was to their significant other.

 

 

Did you express to your friend that you didn't like it?  

 

It sounds like something my XH would do....one time when we were separated ds told me that his dad had put a slice of watermelon down a young woman's pants.  She was a neighbor in his apartment complex..years later they briefly dated.  

 

Weird. Inappropriate.  Probably flirting.  

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I don't understand this. Why would it anger you? Is the man your significant other?

I'm not Luanne but I think it was in response to the previous poster who said it was probably done to "tick someone off". Slang for annoy.

 

I think there's a fine line between fun and flirting and it's better to walk well on the safe side personally. But that's only opinion and it would depend on the friendship.

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I agree with these: 

 

I think there's a fine line between fun and flirting and it's better to walk well on the safe side personally. But that's only opinion and it would depend on the friendship.

Fine line between fun and flirting.  Maybe in a park setting I can see the original scenario.  In the workplace, absolutely not.  

 

Age difference, power difference, touching someone's clothing. Not appropriate unless between close friends.

I'd add close family to this too.  I can see my brother in law doing this to me.  We enjoy laughing, watching comedians and goofing off.  (The three of us: BIL, husband and me.)  My other brother in law is very serious and we don't have that kind of relationship. 

 

Depends on the players. I would do that to my dad, or husband, or son, or possibly BIL if we were in the middle of a silly fight or something. We've had marshmallow gun, water balloon, Nerf wars where when you run out of ammunition you get desperate. LOL.

 

YES!  We have had water balloon fights, nerf wars, silly string wars, etc.  Outside of a relationship close and familiar enough to do that, I'd call it flirting... 

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The 27 year old I am referring to is a friend of my daughter. The man she did this to is someone I have feelings for and she is aware of that fact.

 

Possibly flirting, but it still depends. Is she very close to this person? I might have with close guy friends in college without any flirty intent, but that was so very long ago! LOL. She may also have feelings for him.If you're not in a relationship with him, all's fair I suppose.

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Pulling at another person's clothing is almost always a violation of personal space, unless you're a Quarterback or a wrestler.

 

I remember one time when I was a teenager, I was joking around and playing goofily with my friend and her brother. But a line got crossed when he grabbed some french fries off a plate and stuck them down the front of my shirt. I still remeber how upset that made me and how defensive my friend was over her brother's behaviour.

 

I'm sort of envisioning this event in the OP happening similarly, so yes, to me, it sounds like a person taking liberties with touching someone's mate.

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The 27 year old I am referring to is a friend of my daughter. The man she did this to is someone I have feelings for and she is aware of that fact.

 

Unless you think she was doing it on purpose just to bother you, I don't think you really have any standing to be mad. I mean, feel what you feel, but she didn't actually do anything to you. It's between her and him, and if he didn't mind then it's no one else's business. I agree with the others, though, that it sounds like a slightly weird and immature thing to do (unless they have a playful brother/sister relationship where that is normal for them).

 

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The 27 year old I am referring to is a friend of my daughter. The man she did this to is someone I have feelings for and she is aware of that fact.

 

If the feelings go both ways, then did he tell her to "cut it out"? Really, though, she's probably just immature and was goofing off. Without knowing the whole context of the situation, it's hard to say if it's flirting.

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She claims she has no interest in being anything but a friend to him. He has told both her and me that he has no interest in her. He's never said how he feels about me.

 

I think this falls under possibly flirting.  I wouldn't be offended though.  No one has any level of commitment.  

 

Sidenote: This is why I mainly hung out with guys in school.  

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She claims she has no interest in being anything but a friend to him. He has told both her and me that he has no interest in her. He's never said how he feels about me.

 

I'd say that it sounds like goofing off........ and is a bit bizarre if they aren't close friends....... and some people do flirt even if they aren't trying to get into a relationship. Try not to over-analyze it........... If you aren't in a relationship with him beyond friends and want to be, then ask him out....... nothing wrong with that...........

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Is it flirting for a female to take a paper towel, wad it up, and put it down the back of a man's shirt?

 

Wat?

 

Why would someone do that?

 

It sounds like something a sister would do to her little brother when asked to clean the bathroom with him or something.

 

Teasing is often flirting among adults. So unless this was a sibling thing or a medical thing, I guess so, but weird.

Edited by Tsuga
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I guess I think it might well be flirting, although it's a pretty immature version of the practice. 

 

But I also think that human beings aren't anyone else's property. As someone else said, you don't get to call dibs on a person just because you have feelings for him and expect that no one else will ever flirt with him. He's an adult. If he isn't interested in her or doesn't like her behavior, it's up to him to tell her so.

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It's very poor flirting, but yes... if you're touching and grabbing at someone's clothes then it's an attempt at being more intimate with them.  I'm surprised this is a 27 year old.  Sound more like a 7 year old's idea of flirting.

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If this happens to be the friend of your daughter's that the two of you are, if I recall correctly with, living with, I would really try hard to be the bigger person and let it go. It would certainly annoy me deeply, but is it worth being right if it causes fights with roommates?

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I think it is ridiculous to believe you can control what someone else does with regard to another adult. If you think it is your man and don't want her around him, don't bring him to her house. Or maybe hang a tag around his neck so everyone knows you are in charge of who gets to touch or talk to him. 

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