If you go to someone's house with an infant...

[MrsBasil]

Kinda' horrified right now - I'd never ask a host if I could go into their bedroom for any reason. And to put a baby on THEIR BED? No way. Ever.

 

I put babies down to nap in a sling, their car-seat, or on my coat in a corner of the room we are socializing in.

 

Also, just have to note that I always feel sorry for moms who ask for a space to feed babies, as if it is some sort of horrible secret.

 

It seems silly to feel sorry for moms who ask for space, plenty of women prefer a private or semi private space to nurse for reasons that have nothing to do with embarrassment or feeling like nursing is a "horrible secret".

 

I had a baby who was so easily distracted that even someone turning a a ceiling fan on caused her to stop eating. It was easier to nurse with as few distractions as possible. I wasn't ashamed, just weary.

[MrsBasil]

I usually asked for a bathroom or something if I was out with a baby and I was usually directed to a bedroom or something. Typically though, I got so much attention for preferring not to nurse my distractible baby I public that I stopped going places until I weaned her.

 

I never asked to for a place to put a baby down, I just wore or held them.

[KungFuPanda]

I would assume a nursing mother might need privacy to nurse, a place to change the baby, and a quiet place to put him down for a nap. I'd prep a place just in case and if this required heroic effort, I'd probably kick myself for letting things get that bad in the first place. I have no issues with public nursing, but diaper changes and appetizers don't go together. Even if the diaper is "just wet" not everyone appreciates the smell of urine. Also, my babies always hit an age where they got too distracted to nurse in family chaos and it was more efficient to take a private break and get it over with.

[JessReplanted]

I have asked for a private place to nurse more than once. If I had to, I would go nurse in the car. If I had a nursing mother over for a mixed gathering then I wouldn't be surprised if she asked for a place to nurse.

[KungFuPanda]

I'm beginning to think that I'm one of the very few people who have a calm, quiet home whose babies got used to sleeping in that environment. Past the newborn phase, both of my babies would have slept better and longer in an out-of-the-way room.

[medawyn]

I'm in the middle of the baby years, so I always have a place for someone to nurse if they prefer privacy, a place to change a baby, and usually a spare place to put a baby (pack n play or our crib or what have you).  I never expect someone to ask me ahead of time, but that's because everyone knows I'm in the middle of the baby years myself, so I'm just as likely to be nursing on the sofa with them!  (Or in the kitchen, or in the baby's room if we're in the crazy-distracted phase or pretty much wherever.)

 

That being said, I rarely ask for a place to nurse when I'm out, unless I think the host would be more comfortable if I was someplace private (my DH's elderly relatives come to mind).  Baby always stays with me in a wrap or a SSC, unless I'm at a good friend's house or I'm staying someplace in an overnight situation.

 

I did have to explain to DH that our master bedroom is a private space.  He's big on house tours, and I've finally convinced him the master does NOT have to be on the house tour, with the possible exception of a "welcome to our new house" party.  Besides just the idea that it is our private space, I'm usually getting ready the last thing before guests come over.  The bathroom is never company ready!  And if I happen to fling a bra over the bed when I decide to change shirts, I don't want to have to worry about who will be wandering through on a "tour".  Therefore, I would never be expected to use someone else's bedroom for any reason, really.

[medawyn]

I'm beginning to think that I'm one of the very few people who have a calm, quiet home whose babies got used to sleeping in that environment. Past the newborn phase, both of my babies would have slept better and longer in an out-of-the-way room.

 

Honestly, I just don't do a lot of outings when we're in the "can't miss nap, can't sleep anywhere too noisy" phase.  Baby sleep is sacred! 

[bolt.]

Maybe I'm dense, but huh?

I think maybe I'm the odd one on this.

 

When I invite a person and their baby to my home, I consider them two people, two guests.

 

A lot of people are talking about what the baby needs/wants as if it was something the woman needs/wants: The woman is the guest, what she needs/wants for her baby matters. It's good hosting to offer the woman those things.

 

That seems odd to me, because clearly (to me) the woman didn't bring the baby as an uninvited gathering-crasher. I see myself as having invited the baby too -- so I think about how best to be a hostess *to a baby* not just to a woman 'with a baby'.

 

The baby is a guest. What the baby needs/wants matters to the host. It's good manners for the host to prepare to offer things in keeping with the predictable needs/wants of a baby.

 

Example: I don't think I've prepared "a place to put the baby down" (for the woman) but "a place to have a good nap" for the baby.

 

It amounts to the same thing in practical terms, but it sounds different to me, semantically. It intrigues me. I'm intrigued to notice the difference, and wonder about language patterns, and wonder how I speak casually about these things, and whether it reflects my ideals or not... Etc. I'm probably just tired.

Edited December 18, 2015 by bolt.

[J-rap]

 

 

Yes, most men are turned on by breasts, even if the woman is breastfeeding.

 

 

Hmmm, I wouldn't guess that most men are turned on by the breasts of a woman breastfeeding!  That just seems kind of weird to me!

 

[J-rap]

Unless it was an all day event, or a long, late night event, I don't think it would occur to me to ask if there would be a private room where the baby could sleep.  As far as nursing, there's always a private spot somewhere, isn't there?  Even spur of the moment? 

 

But if it were something like a 3-hour evening affair, I wouldn't assume that the house would have a private room for my baby to nap.  I mean, if my baby was tired and it just worked out that there was a room, fine.  If not, fine.  I usually didn't go places with my babies though if I knew they'd need to sleep, unless it was to my own parents' home or in-laws.

[KungFuPanda]

Honestly, I just don't do a lot of outings when we're in the "can't miss nap, can't sleep anywhere too noisy" phase. Baby sleep is sacred!

Mostly, yes, but avoiding social events for all the years that both my kids napped was impossible. An available room for toddler napping made the event better for everyone involved.

[zoobie]

I find it interesting how many of you 'invite someone with a baby' -- am I the only one who thinks that I'm inviting the baby (himself or herself)?

Unless it's a baby party, not really. Most newborns aren't very interesting. I don't plan baby games or baby food. ;)

[TechWife]

I'm beginning to think that I'm one of the very few people who have a calm, quiet home whose babies got used to sleeping in that environment. Past the newborn phase, both of my babies would have slept better and longer in an out-of-the-way room.

This was our home during the baby years!

[Incognito]

Where I live it seems to be a relatively normal thing to do - I've had a couple of babies lay on my bed, and I've gone to a quiet room to nurse (babies nurse better that way (mine did - DISTRACTIONS), and I sure hope I was never causing a problem for my host.  People are welcome to nurse in the gathering or find a quiet place.  Usually that is just a different room, but bedrooms are fine too.  

[zoobie]

Kinda' horrified right now - I'd never ask a host if I could go into their bedroom for any reason. And to put a baby on THEIR BED? No way. Ever.

 

I put babies down to nap in a sling, their car-seat, or on my coat in a corner of the room we are socializing in.

 

Also, just have to note that I always feel sorry for moms who ask for a space to feed babies, as if it is some sort of horrible secret.

I've now nursed 4 babies alllll over the place. When I've asked for a private space, it's usually because there isn't much seating compatible for nursing, and even after a zillion years of this, I can't nurse standing up. My 3rd had a bunch of issues, and it was easier if I could nurse her in a quiet spot. If there wasn't one in a semi-public area, I just went to my car where I kept a nursing pillow. I have never thought of it as a horrible secret, but even if I were extraordinarily modest, shouldn't I be entitled to a little respect for my choices instead of pity? That's such a strange thing to condemn women for. Being a new mom is hard enough. Maybe she doesn't want to be bare from the neck down in public if she has THAT kid. Maybe she has to use a SNS. Maybe baby needs quiet. Maybe MOM needs quiet. Give a lady a break! :)

[Tsuga]

Hmmm, I wouldn't guess that most men are turned on by the breasts of a woman breastfeeding!  That just seems kind of weird to me!

 

 

I don't think it's particularly exciting--I would just guess that the average guy, if he happened upon a breast in the wild, say, would be like "Oh! Boob! Cool!" and then realize she was breastfeeding and politely find something else to look at.

 

I don't think it is normal to be aroused by breastfeeding, but I don't think that's what bldsmama's friend was talking about, either.

 

I just meant, I don't care if you're a boob guy, what straight man isn't, it doesn't mean that sneaking a peek is in any way normal.

[TechWife]

Even as a child I fell asleep at other houses while the parents were having a get together in another area of the house. I woke up the next day in my own bed, where my father had carried me. I don think it's odd at all for a parent to put a child down to sleep at a friends house, infant or not.

[KungFuPanda]

I think maybe I'm the odd one on this.

 

When I invite a person and their baby to my home, I consider them two people, two guests.

 

A lot of people are talking about what the baby needs/wants as if it was something the woman needs/wants: The woman is the guest, what she needs/wants for her baby matters. It's good hosting to offer the woman those things.

 

That seems odd to me, because clearly (to me) the woman didn't bring the baby as an uninvited gathering-crasher. I see myself as having invited the baby too -- so I think about how best to be a hostess *to a baby* not just to a woman 'with a baby'.

 

The baby is a guest. What the baby needs/wants matters to the host. It's good manners for the host to prepare to offer things in keeping with the predictable needs/wants of a baby.

 

Example: I don't think I've prepared "a place to put the baby down" (for the woman) but "a place to have a good nap" for the baby.

 

It amounts to the same thing in practical terms, but it sounds different to me, semantically. It intrigues me. I'm intrigued to notice the difference, and wonder about language patterns, and wonder how I speak casually about these things, and whether it reflects my ideals or not... Etc. I'm probably just tired.

I call foul. Unless you'd ever invite the baby without the mother this seem disingenuous. That baby is coming because he's connected to that mother. They're a package deal and the mother is the primary guest. If the mother had other plans you wouldn't offer to host the baby during your party.

 

It IS just semantics and I'm apparently unreasonably argumentative when I'm sleepy. :-D

[HS Mom in NC]

I nursed the baby wherever I was in private or in public.  I wore my babies in a sling or laid them on the floor near me on a blanket when they slept. I've never had anyone ask to nurse privately in my house and I've had a lot of nursing moms over.

 

The only time I asked for a private room was when I was re-lactating for my youngest who was still in Korea.  I had to pump every 2 hours during waking hours and pumps are awkward, so I asked for a private room then, but that's not a typical situation.

[Catwoman]

Wow. Sorry ladeez, this one's taken.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[foxbridgeacademy]

I believe every mother has the right to nurse her baby where she pleases covered or not.  That said I would want to have nursed baby in private (shy) and even have had a quiet place to put him for a short nap (don't like leaving very long).  I don't think I would have warned hostess because I know I wouldn't care where I nursed him messy or not.  This is all hypothetical because as far as I remember we never went anywhere with babies that wasn't family, I'm kind of anti-social.

 

ETA: I also think my babies were "that kid".  They could not nurse if anyone was talking, they hated blankets over their heads, DD had to have my shirt pulled down not lifted up otherwise she played with the shirt and I'd end up completely exposed.  And maybe TMI but we always ended up with milk everywhere (I think I could have fed triplets with no problems). So a private space was required but it could have been anywhere that was semi-comfortable and I would have been happy.

Edited December 18, 2015 by foxbridgeacademy

[Guest todioson]

it is reasonable to assume they may need a private room

[Junie]

I find it interesting how many of you 'invite someone with a baby' -- am I the only one who thinks that I'm inviting the baby (himself or herself)?

 

 

I think maybe I'm the odd one on this.

 

When I invite a person and their baby to my home, I consider them two people, two guests.

 

A lot of people are talking about what the baby needs/wants as if it was something the woman needs/wants: The woman is the guest, what she needs/wants for her baby matters. It's good hosting to offer the woman those things.

 

That seems odd to me, because clearly (to me) the woman didn't bring the baby as an uninvited gathering-crasher. I see myself as having invited the baby too -- so I think about how best to be a hostess *to a baby* not just to a woman 'with a baby'.

 

The baby is a guest. What the baby needs/wants matters to the host. It's good manners for the host to prepare to offer things in keeping with the predictable needs/wants of a baby.

 

Example: I don't think I've prepared "a place to put the baby down" (for the woman) but "a place to have a good nap" for the baby.

 

It amounts to the same thing in practical terms, but it sounds different to me, semantically. It intrigues me. I'm intrigued to notice the difference, and wonder about language patterns, and wonder how I speak casually about these things, and whether it reflects my ideals or not... Etc. I'm probably just tired.

 

I'm a semantics person, too.

 

An example I can think of would be an adult ladies' Bible study or a bridal shower -- some event that children are not generally invited to.  The baby comes along because the mom was invited.  The baby (hopefully) is welcome, but not necessarily invited.

[Garga]

My baby wouldn't nurse in a noisy room. He'd pop off and turn his head around to see what was going on and milk would be everywhere. So I needed a quite place to nurse.

 

I wouldn't have thought too much ahead of time to ask for a place. I'd figure I'd just find a private place. After this post, I realize that was probably stressful for some people I visited, if they hadn't tidied.

 

At that stage in life, I didn't care if I saw someone else's mess. My house was always a mess because of the baby. I feel better when I see other people's mess because the clean home we present to people is often a sham and it's a silly game we all play. (This doesn't include those people who genuinely are clean all the time.)

 

This cleanliness is next to godliness thing is a Victorian hangup and it really needs to GO. Tired of it!

[gardenmom5]

if I have guests with nursing infants, i generally have somewhere they can nurse, lay down, or change diapers - with instructions messy diapers go in the outside trash.  (I had one person who'd change in the middle of the room. um, no thanks.)

 

that said  - you don't know what the situation might be.  I attended a luncheon in someone's home shortly after my mother died (most people didn't know) - but still before christmas.  I needed the distraction, and for things to "be normal."  at one point, I did need a place to be alone to gather myself. (I did end up missing other things.)

[Aiden]

I wasn't able to nurse my daughter, so feeding wasn't an issue--I'd whip out the bottle and usually end up passing her off to the first person who asked if they could feed her. She also would sleep best in someone's arms. I never anticipated needing a private room for anything, so I didn't ask ahead of time.

 

I would ask the hostess where she preferred I change the baby's diaper--some said that anywhere was fine, so I'd just whip out the mat and do it in an unobtrusive corner of the room. Most directed me to a guest bedroom.

 

My daughter did have a couple of meltdowns due to noise at parties, though, and I appreciated it when the host offered a spare bedroom as a quiet place where my husband and I could take turns holding and soothing her while the other enjoyed the party.

 

Most of my friends are older than me and well past their baby days. I'm not sure that I've hosted a party where guests had babies. However, if I did, I'd do the same as the hosts I appreciated during my daughter's babyhood--have a space available if needed, even if it weren't as clean as the rest of the house.

[Laura Corin]

Honestly, it would never have occurred to me to mention this beforehand, and none of my friends ever announced something like this. I would not have thought twice about the request to nurse in my bedroom or lay the baby down. If the bedroom is not spotless, I am sure a young mother won't care.

ETA: I never put my babies down in somebody's bedroom. That's what slings are for. For that matter, I never nursed in a secluded room either - I stayed with the other company. So did all of my friends.

 

I remember asking to go to a quiet room once to breastfeed.  Calvin was a month old and I was at a Burns Night party.  The place was crammed with happy people and there was nowhere to sit where someone wasn't going to bump into me.

 

I was very happy to be allowed to go and sit in the host's untidy bedroom - it didn't occur to me that it would be pristine.  There was a nice accidental-mutual-exposure moment  when the host's adult brother came into the room to change out of his kilt, so that he could pass it to his twin who needed it the next day.  I was not breastfeeding discreetly, and Scots do not wear anything under their kilts.  It was all fine.

Edited December 18, 2015 by Laura Corin

[Melissa in Australia]

I haven't read all the posts.

I live in breast feeding friendly country. I breastfeed all of my children ( bio ones). If I needed to feed them I fed them wherever I was. if that was in someone's kitchen, on a park bench, wherever. And after my fist I didn't even bother to cover up. My kids hated being covered and would stop feeding and whip it off. I find it kind of strange that Americans are so funny about breastfeeding

[Melissa in Australia]

Oh and the only reaction I have ever had from men is a few older men who have rushed off to get  me water as they remember their wives needed water while breastfeeding

[Elfknitter.#]

I have to just say, Wow. Nursing in bathrooms? At private homes? Really?

 

Never a suggested option or choice FOR MY FAMILY. (Note the all caps portion before you wish to argue, please.)

 

We were the first of our friends with 1, then 2, and much later, 3 kids. Of our social group, there's one other couple with a now 3 month old child. Our kids are 12, 10, and 4 years old.

 

So yes, we did ask because as childless people, (and I speak to this group only) they were the stereotypical childless people. They are "aunts" and "uncles", but even aunts and uncles have learning curves. So we wanted insure for our kids that accomodations could be made. If not, depending on the engagement, other arrangements would be made. So, "Yeah, bring your kids!" Umm, they need a quiet spot to nurse and nap. This is a late night holiday party. I would love to go but polite pass. For all involved, it would be better if we kept them home because of teething/sickness/ so other made up reason that uses the kids as our excuse.. How bout we get together on X day for coffee or lunch or whatever?"

 

Yep. Parenthood.

Edited December 18, 2015 by Elfknitter.#

[marbel]

Unless it was an all day event, or a long, late night event, I don't think it would occur to me to ask if there would be a private room where the baby could sleep.  As far as nursing, there's always a private spot somewhere, isn't there?  Even spur of the moment? 

 

But if it were something like a 3-hour evening affair, I wouldn't assume that the house would have a private room for my baby to nap.  I mean, if my baby was tired and it just worked out that there was a room, fine.  If not, fine.  I usually didn't go places with my babies though if I knew they'd need to sleep, unless it was to my own parents' home or in-laws.

 

I wouldn't assume people with small houses and large families, maybe a pet that needs to be kept away from guests, has a private space. I'm thinking of some large gatherings we've had here and trying to think what space I'd have for a bit of privacy.   I don't even have room for a chair in my bedroom so even if I didn't mind someone seeing the mess they'd have to sit on the (possibly unmade) bed which can't be comfy for nursing. 

 

I will have to sharpen up though for future get-togethers!

[ktgrok]

I'd worry about a baby rolling off a bed, but I've had every single one of my kids roll off a bed at some point. Yes, I'm a  very slow learner. Sigh. 

 

I have gone into a different room to get my baby to sleep before, in a loud party environment at my moms house. But that's my mom's house, so I think maybe that's different. I ended up laying down on a blanket on the floor and nursing him to sleep there. couldn't roll off the floor. 

 

I have no issues nursing in public, but there have been times I've asked to use a quiet room because I'm trying to nurse the baby to sleep and the noise/commotion is keeping him awake. Then once asleep I just carry baby or wear in a sling/carrier. But normally just carry. 

 

I have also asked for a private area just because I myself am tired of the commotion, lol and nursing the baby is a good excuse to have a few quiet minutes away from everyone. 

[Carrie12345]

I don't really host things, but it wouldn't occur to me to "prep" an extra room b/c I've never used one, myself.

Okay, not entirely true. I've used an extra room in my aunt's house during an especially big party, but we're close enough that I could just tell her I was going upstairs and knew it'd be fine.

 

I would be mortified if asked, because my bedroom (and loft) are where things go to hide. We don't have any other secluded spaces.

 

[carriede]

I've asked and been accommodated.

 

For nursing, I don't mind feeding under 3 mo in a "public" place, but older than that and my babies are WAY too distracted to nurse well, even if they're hungry. So, I'll say something like, "I'd like to nurse Baby. Is there a place you'd prefer I go?" And usually it IS the master bedroom, even if it isn't clean - and I don't mind if it isn't.

 

For a nap, I'll ask if there's a quiet room I can put the baby down in. Then I'll put my changing pad and a blanket on the FLOOR and lay my baby on that - never a bed unless the kid is old enough and I'm visiting with family.

 

It's hard enough to convince myself to go to events when I have a young, nursing baby - so if I'm there and the baby wants to sleep, I'd like to be able to put the baby DOWN so I can actually participate in said event.

 

There are plenty of things like Mom's Nights Out that I can't participate in because of babies, so I hope that anyone who invites me over would offer some grace for my restrictions and accommodate a baby they know is coming along. If not, I'm pretty much stuck at home.

[BlsdMama]

I wouldn't assume people with small houses and large families, maybe a pet that needs to be kept away from guests, has a private space. I'm thinking of some large gatherings we've had here and trying to think what space I'd have for a bit of privacy.   I don't even have room for a chair in my bedroom so even if I didn't mind someone seeing the mess they'd have to sit on the (possibly unmade) bed which can't be comfy for nursing. 

 

I will have to sharpen up though for future get-togethers!

 

 

Large families have quiet spots too, lol. ;)  I'd take an unmade bed in a heartbeat over a crowded room, especially if other young children are at a function.  I don't love to be the center of attention.  And while I'm always game for an educational opportunity :D usually not with my shirt up.  

 

Maybe I'm the odd one out but I like to at least feign a little modesty and my kids weren't ones to nurse with a blanket and often that included my shirt touching their face.  Some of them I was more diligent with to teach to nurse modestly and others I let caution fly into the wind... Either way it's basic common courtesy, IMO, to allow a guest nurse in private if that's her wish.  And a bathroom?  Um no.  That is *not* being thoughtful.

[BlsdMama]

Wow. Sorry ladeez, this one's taken.

 

Right?  Honestly, (shudder) it made this mama really paranoid.  Ew.  And I have to say, previous to this little privy conversation I was all for public nursing - not flaunting, but you know, reasonable nursing.  This made me one very modest mama in a hurry.  Just ew.

[BlsdMama]

What I do not get is why would someone tell you this?  It seems more like they are worried about their husband seeing some boob because of jealousy or weirdness. 

 

No idea, it was in a close-knit online forum, so she shared during a breastfeeding conversation.  If I remember right, my next opportunity to nurse publicly was McDonald's.  I actually did use a blanket, lol.

Edited December 18, 2015 by BlsdMama

[Kathryn]

My babies have always been way too distracted to NIP as infants. I have asked to use a private room to nurse at parties at people's houses twice. I did not ask for a specific room or to lay the baby down. I've been offered to do so at family members' houses, but my babies only sleep at home or in the car apparently.

[momacacia]

I would definitely ask, for me and my baby's sake if nothing else. We recently went to good friends who also have a baby and ours napped in his pack n play in the master bedroom, but these are good friends. I had no expectation that would be a possibility. Otherwise I'd take along my professional baby holder husband who could hold and walk baby for a nap if needed and there was no other place for baby. I just have no expectation that we can go I to private areas of homes without being invited or asking ahead of time. A bathroom, family room, kitchen would be open but not much more.

[marbel]

Large families have quiet spots too, lol. ;)  I'd take an unmade bed in a heartbeat over a crowded room, especially if other young children are at a function.  I don't love to be the center of attention.  And while I'm always game for an educational opportunity :D usually not with my shirt up.  

 

<snip>

 

Actually, I have a small family but also a small house with no extra space and other than bedrooms, no private space if there is a largeish gathering. Stupid floor plan, overexcitable dog... it's just not that simple for everyone.   And there is no way I'd offer someone my unmade bed to sit on. Ewww.  I'd take 5 minutes to at least take care of that.  But after reading this thread, I'll be better prepared in future.

 

[FO4UR]

If I had a nursing momma coming over, I'd consider it reasonable for her to want to nurse in a quiet room.  I'd also consider it reasonable for her to nurse in the same room with everyone else.

 

I've had a child or two who wouldn't settle down to nurse/nap if they were in a noisy room, so I understand.  I wouldn't leave baby on the bed though.  Once asleep, I'd pass baby off to the nearest friend in need of a "baby-fix."  (baby fix = need to hold a sweet baby and then pass off to the mother when crying)  I thought "Pass the Baby" was a favorite holiday sport in every town. 

 

 

[Chris in VA]

I guess it's kind to offer a private space, sure.

 

But I would never expect a mom to nurse in a bathroom. YUCK. You guys must wash bathroom floors more than I do. I wouldn't even change a baby in one of my bathrooms, and certainly not on the floor.

 

I thought it interesting that a previous poster said people don't bring in their carseats in Australia! Ours are more of a carrying device, along with a carseat, for infants. The bigger ones, no. It's the best place for napping, IME. No chance for rolling off a bed, no germs from laying baby down on a stripped down bed (another yuck--some people don't wear undies to bed--I wouldn't want baby sleeping on that), and the car seat/carrier can be placed in a separate room if needed. Bigger kids would need something else.

 

I guess my tiny babies could sleep about anywhere in their carseats; it's not like I took toddlers to late night parties or to homes when it was naptime anyway.

[UCF612]

I've never had anyone ask to use our bedroom.  Most just nurse where they are, sometimes with a cover.  Napping baby goes into carseat/sling/someone's arms.  I nursed both my boys and don't remember ever asking to go into someone's bedroom.  It would never occur to me.   I think I might have laid my boys down in cribs if the family had a baby also but that was very very rare even.  ETA: But I also never recall attending or hosting anything big enough for it to be an issue.  Most events were just close friends who a majority had babies around the same age so we were all in the same boat.

Edited December 18, 2015 by UCF612

[Caclcoca]

I would not think of this.  Our bedroom is the dumping ground when people come over.  Everything gets thrown in there to clean up the living areas.  Also we have a cat that doesn't like people that gets put in our room.  There is no way I would open that door for anyone.  I could find a private place for a baby to nurse (if that was needed), but I am not sure that we could find a quiet place to put a sleeping baby.  I know I should clean my room, but it is way down on the priority list.

[Samm]

I'd be uncomfortable with putting an infant on a bed and just leaving the baby alone in the room.  Weird things could happen, and I wouldn't accomodate that request in my house.  I was at a party at a giant house recently, think rooms upon rooms upon multiple floors, sort of house.  There was pass-the-sleeping-baby and more than enough people willing to hold the baby who also had his lay-flat stroller there.

[texasmama]

Hmmm, I wouldn't guess that most men are turned on by the breasts of a woman breastfeeding!  That just seems kind of weird to me!

 

My dh is very uncomfortable when he sees women nursing in front of him or in public.  Maybe he needs to "get over it" or whatever, but I promise it is no turn-on for him.  He is part of the reason I spent a lot of time  nursing privately when others were present, though I did nurse at many a restaurant and other places.  I know that many men in our circle are not comfortable with watching a woman nurse in front of them, and I'm just trying to feed the baby, not make a social statement.  Heck, none of the women in his family nursed at all, not grandma, not mom, not sister, not sister-in-law.  They were all wildly uncomfortable with me nursing in front of them. Sigh.  I did it anyway in front of them, covering up, because that is just weird.  And no, I'm not going to "get the baby on the bottle" so you can feed him/her.  No wonder dh was so uncomfortable with me nursing in public.

 

Also, people keep mentioning the master bedroom as the private place to nurse.  I would probably offer a kid bedroom.  It might be neater and it would be less intimate/personal than my bedroom.

[Guest]

I bottle feed, but i just had a friend here nursing and that kid was eatting ALL the time! I would have never seen her if she needed a private space to nurse!

[Arctic Bunny]

This is why I have a child who keeps his bedroom neat and makes his bed on his own. And he has the ensuite bathroom. So much easier than having people see MY room, lol.

[Carrie12345]

This is why I have a child who keeps his bedroom neat and makes his bed on his own. And he has the ensuite bathroom. So much easier than having people see MY room, lol.

 

If I had a party at my house, (and, really, I'm not going to, because there's just not enough space, never mind baby needs,) kids are almost guaranteed to be playing in the kids' rooms.

[Daria]

This is why I have a child who keeps his bedroom neat and makes his bed on his own. And he has the ensuite bathroom. So much easier than having people see MY room, lol.

 

Where do you get such a child?  I would like one of my own!