Moxie Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Not even clean but just pick shit up without drama. So done. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I feel your pain. A couple of months ago I finally threw all of dd's stuff into her closet because I was sick of literally wading through it to put her clothes away. I didn't let her have it back for a good month and threatened to do it again if she didn't keep her shit picked up. She's doing a lot better keeping her room clean now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I hear you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaniemom Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I just lost my temper about the same thing today. Wish I had a solution for us all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Glad I'm not the only one, I'm about to take out dd2's toys and throw most of dd1's the damn fire pit!!!! At this point i swear dd2 picks up after herself better than dd1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I always think that chore buy-back bucket looks interesting, but then one has to implement it. *store kids items you picked up in a big basket and if they want it back they have to do a chore. I'm assuming if items are left in bucket long enough they get Konmaried because they weren't loved enough to be worked for. Lol. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Sing it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I always think that chore buy-back bucket looks interesting, but then one has to implement it. *store kids items you picked up in a big basket and if they want it back they have to do a chore. I'm assuming if items are left in bucket long enough they get Konmaried because they weren't loved enough to be worked for. Lol. What about shoes, jackets, wet towels and dirty unders??? Not sure my kids would work for their underwear. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomtoCandJ Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 What about shoes, jackets, wet towels and dirty unders??? Not sure my kids would work for their underwear.Yeah... Dd1 would prefer to be naked so that wouldn't work even though she does need clothes for school and her other activities 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 But...I wonder what I could get them to do to earn back their Wii controllers??? Power wash the driveway? Paint the shutters?? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Huh. Must be universal fed-up-with-kids-not-keeping-stuff-cleaned-up time. The two youngest boys share a room. It is always a pit. DD#2, DH, and I have gone in upteen times & picked it up, sorted things, and organized it for them. They can never keep it clean. Part of the problem is that they have SO MANY TOYS. The boys worked for two days & got 10 small Walmart plastic bags of (mostly) paper cleaned out. DH & I decided to tag-team clean the rest of their room today after lunch. It was amazing. My trunk is full of toys to give away. Two trash barrels are full. I have an entire batch of laundry just of dirty clothes (mostly socks, unders, & shorts) we found inside toy bags/boxes & under the bed. Their toy bins went from four to one. They can see almost all their toys at a glance, have plenty of space on their floor to play, and have both the walk-in closet floor & under the bed space for 'imagination zones.' Strangest thing happened before dinner -- My youngest thanked me for throwing away (or giving away) so many toys because he's thrilled with his wide-open room with only a small number of toys. We'll see how well it stays organized. (We've found more of their stuff scattered all over the house, so there is more to do.) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I started writing a list Thursday... no playing with friends on weekends until the list is done. My 7-year-old knocks out the list Thursday and plays Fridays with friends. The older ones are still learning time management skills. But at least the consequences are clear and time-limited. If a kid has a planned weekend play time, they have to get the jobs done Thursday/early Friday. I'm still scaffolding. I don't make them clean the room during the week (unless I can't walk across it) but they are required to vacuum weekly, so that requires at least once a week cleaning. Emily 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdrinca Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Word. I keep having this conversation with my older two: "Look, you're going to have to pick this stuff up. And you clearly don't enjoy it. So, you can do it quickly and be done with it, or you can take FOREVER and use up your time doing something you don't like." DD7 is finally seeing the light... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Seriously. I want to throw everything away. Even markers, paper, glue sticks, crayons. Why is it all thrown all over the floor???? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 daily cleaning instead of weekly cleaning has helped a bit here. The bedroom and dishwasher is done every morning, the lounge and play rooms every evening. A little bit every day has been more manageable and less of an argument. But, obviously, that doesn't work for everything... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Seriously. I want to throw everything away. Even markers, paper, glue sticks, crayons. Why is it all thrown all over the floor???? And pencils!! My children must believe that a pencil on the floor is contaminated or no longer effective as a writing utensil because they will just leave it there and get a new one from the jar. I picked up 7 pencils under the table one day!! Kids are the worst thing, ever!!! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
countrygal Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 All these threads about how you can't throw out 'other' peoples stuff... well that ain't workin for my kids!!! None of them will part with anything and grandparents won't stop giving them anything!!! SO - Dh and I are sending them to grandma's for a day soon and we are picking what is kept and getting rid of the rest. I have 5 kids and can't do it with them here because they scream and cry over every little stinking paper-whatever project or broken toy. I guess they'll have to go to therapy as adults but this is my house and if you can't pick up your stuff, you aren't allowed to have stuff. It's consuming my life. (Thanks for letting me rant!) 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 daily cleaning instead of weekly cleaning has helped a bit here. The bedroom and dishwasher is done every morning, the lounge and play rooms every evening. A little bit every day has been more manageable and less of an argument. But, obviously, that doesn't work for everything...Oh, we clean daily and it's not helping. Boo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Yep. There might have been a mommy tantrum here this week about picking things up. Oops. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I am with you 100000000%!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I no longer have little kids, so toys are gone. It does help. But they still make messes. They don't pick up dishes they use or clothing they wash (right now oldest has a pile of clothing right out of the dryer that is just sitting on the sofa. This is day 4 of that. It goes on and on. Husbands are to blame too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I don't care so much about the bedrooms because I can just close the door. My younger girls spread their mess around the house. When one area gets too cluttered to play they just move on to the next room. My basement is a disaster and the school room is unusable. They are into crafting these days so it's mostly bits of paper & cardboard, empty glue containers, pencils, markers, you name it. I do break down and help them clean because it's overwhelming for an adult but they don't want to throw anything away! I used to have bins and containers for all of the toys but they would dump those out and then end up breaking the container. :glare: I have donated so many toys and try to tell the grandparents that they don't need any more toys. It's a never ending struggle here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I let the kids' bedrooms get messy when I could no longer navigate the stairs due to pregnancy. By the time I was able to see the rooms again, I about lost my mind and I swore never again. I have a weekly cleaning schedule and I do my best to stick to it. We have a cleaning period before bedtime (about 15 minutes) where toys are picked up, clothes are put away, and books are re-shelved. I help which I think cuts down on the complaints. If the kids do complain, I join in. "Why am I picking up this toy? It's not mine. Why am I picking up this pencil? I didn't use it. We're family. We help each other out." My kids have enough clothes for a little over a week. After missing laundry day twice in a row, they now listen when I tell them to put their dirty clothes in the hamper. I vacuum every week now and the kids are warned the night before: Whatever is on the floor is mine. I've hauled out massive trash bags of junk. I've relented and I don't throw out the important stuff, but paper, pencils, crayons, glue, play makeup. All gone. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingaway Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Having to buy back things was what finally helped my messie do better. There were several times when, after several warnings, I came and scooped all the mess into big bags. I would throw the obvious trash away, and then announce I was having a sale. I insisted that socks and underwear be bought back. Prices were very low, but it still added up. If she didn't have money, she could do a chore. My girl hated this, but she also told me once that she liked her room so much better afterwards. It also helped her sort out what toys she was ready to part with. I also learned to be more minimalist in buying her clothes and toys. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 What about shoes, jackets, wet towels and dirty unders??? Not sure my kids would work for their underwear. You would be surprised. I told mine that their dirty underwear and school uniforms were the first thing they had to earn back. And oh by the way you have to do your own laundry if you run out because of the amount I took because they were on your floor. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Did you make a rule that underwear had to purchased first? How did you enforce that rule? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I love this thread. I feel like I've found My People... 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThursdayNext Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 All these threads about how you can't throw out 'other' peoples stuff... well that ain't workin for my kids!!! None of them will part with anything and grandparents won't stop giving them anything!!! SO - Dh and I are sending them to grandma's for a day soon and we are picking what is kept and getting rid of the rest. I have 5 kids and can't do it with them here because they scream and cry over every little stinking paper-whatever project or broken toy. I guess they'll have to go to therapy as adults but this is my house and if you can't pick up your stuff, you aren't allowed to have stuff. It's consuming my life. (Thanks for letting me rant!) We are far from having a handle on this. But what helped me was to buy the bigger kids each a clear plastic bin that fits under the bed. So anything that looks like garbage to Mom, or doesn't have a home, must fit in the bin. I usually give just one warning now, then go into the room throwing crap away. It doesn't help with clothes, toys, etc that I want to keep, but for all the tiny junk- jewelry, crafts, plastic whatever, papers it is so helpful. I don't feel mean throwing away someone's treasures, as there is one, and only one, acceptable place for them to be. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I HAVE YOUR ANSWER, PEOPLE!!! Read on! This was me a few months ago; well, about my 12 yo. My 18 yo is disorganized and messy, but at least her stuff is contained; my 15 yo's room could be a display for the Container Store; she is an inspiration to us all. But my 12yo son--yowza; he is (WAS!) so clueless. Anyway, my solution: WE GOT A PUPPY! And we learned that unless you want Hank to chew up your stuff, you'd better keep it off of the floor and, now that he's bigger, off of the tables. My son's floor is spotless now because Hank sleeps in his room. The school room floor is pencil-free for the first time EVER! You are so welcome. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Did you make a rule that underwear had to purchased first? How did you enforce that rule? I did (although my kid has so much underwear it was his school uniforms and the 23 socks stuffed under his bed were more problematic). I gave him several chores that could be done that day (wash dishes piled in sink, clean bathroom, unload dishwasher, that sort of thing). Didn't want to do that? He could give me $5 (or whatever amount) to buy back certain items (money is a big motivator for this child). He got the idea quickly. He is also older (13 at the time) so I told him if he wasn't interested in chores/had no money he could always wash the remaining uniform he had every night if that was how he wanted to spend his limited free time. Or he could go to school with a smelly, dirty uniform. The consequences there being he could get in trouble at school and/or the girls would think he was gross. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3 ladybugs Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I am developing something that is helping with my boys. It started with my son not wanting to do school, but has progressed to helping clean. It isn't 100%, but I am seeing an improvement. If I get time today I will post it on my blog, as my MIL wants to learn more about it. When I do I will post a link on this thread. Oh and this is working with my 2 year old as well as my 7 year old. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThursdayNext Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I lost it once and threatened to pack ALL the toys into the attic. My daughter surprised me by saying, " Yes, then we won't have to spend so much time cleaning up. We can play with sticks and rocks, and I can make my own doll out of cornhusks." We tried a nearly toy free month. There was one category of toy for each child kept out (stuffed animals, trains, play food). Also surprising is that it did not keep the floors uncluttered. They had blankets and pillows everywhere. Ropes from the garage for fishing, traps, leashes were always underfoot. They invented costumes from their clothes. They made games and stacked towers from things they scavenged from the recycling bin. They made things out of paper and tried to bring rocks in the house. And since we didn't pack books away, books were as usual on every surface of the house. Even with less they will still make a mess. With toys, we did learn that it works best for us to keep things organized, so they can play with that thing easily. We have friends that just throw everything into one big toy box, but a kid has to empty it again to find what he wants. Also, more than 50% of toys are in the attic, rotated when the kids ask. I'm thinking of cutting maybe 40% right before the next big consignment sale, to make room for new things. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Ugh. I so feel you. The drama when I ask them to pick something up is ridiculous. They cry "it's not pick up day!" I have started saying "it's not throw your jacket on the floor day" or "it's not leave your clothes in the bathroom day". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Ugh. I so feel you. The drama when I ask them to pick something up is ridiculous. They cry "it's not pick up day!" I have started saying "it's not throw your jacket on the floor day" or "it's not leave your clothes in the bathroom day". Every day is pick up day. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Every day is pick up day. Oh, yes. But saying that just leads to hysterics. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Every day is pick up day. And then 5 seconds later... It's Sisyphus and the wheel. I want my own guest house. No kids, no husband, and my favorite cat. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Oh, yes. But saying that just leads to hysterics. And then 5 seconds later... It's Sisyphus and the wheel. I want my own guest house. No kids, no husband, and my favorite cat. I don't disagree! Which is why pick up is right before everyone is in bed. It doesn't always work though. Waking up the next morning to find someone has messed up your neatened house is unpleasant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Jessica* Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Screen time is all 3 of my kids' currency, so if they want screen time after school they have to pick up to my standards before doing so. It works fairly well. My standards aren't too high, though, so you all might still think my house is a disaster! lol 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I don't disagree! Which is why pick up is right before everyone is in bed. It doesn't always work though. Waking up the next morning to find someone has messed up your neatened house is unpleasant. Our pick up time is before meals. Having it 3 times a day means less stuff to pick up. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeontheprairie Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I HAVE YOUR ANSWER, PEOPLE!!! Read on! This was me a few months ago; well, about my 12 yo. My 18 yo is disorganized and messy, but at least her stuff is contained; my 15 yo's room could be a display for the Container Store; she is an inspiration to us all. But my 12yo son--yowza; he is (WAS!) so clueless. Anyway, my solution: WE GOT A PUPPY! And we learned that unless you want Hank to chew up your stuff, you'd better keep it off of the floor and, now that he's bigger, off of the tables. My son's floor is spotless now because Hank sleeps in his room. The school room floor is pencil-free for the first time EVER! You are so welcome. I have puppy fever, and my DH says not now. (With really good reasons). maybe I need to train the kids to be really messy for a couple weeks (sorry, we are currently having the problems listed in this thread-but I've btdt) and then pitch this is a solution to all our problems :-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Okay, I'm a freak, but this worked. I got so fed up, I started calling the offending kid, pointing at the dirty dish, sock, toy, etc. and chanting "Loathsome!" in my best cone head voice until they picked it up and put it in its spot. Not only did it work, it was fun for me. There's nothing like being a whiny, annoying person when you're feeling disgruntled. They couldn't really say anything, they knew they were in the wrong. I was so annoying that I haven't had to do that for a while... Passive aggressive parenting at its finest! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Inviting people over works. DD will do a pretty good job of picking up when she has friends coming over who will see her dirty underwear :). We average having a friend come here at least once a week-very intentionally! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I HAVE YOUR ANSWER, PEOPLE!!! Read on! This was me a few months ago; well, about my 12 yo. My 18 yo is disorganized and messy, but at least her stuff is contained; my 15 yo's room could be a display for the Container Store; she is an inspiration to us all. But my 12yo son--yowza; he is (WAS!) so clueless. Anyway, my solution: WE GOT A PUPPY! And we learned that unless you want Hank to chew up your stuff, you'd better keep it off of the floor and, now that he's bigger, off of the tables. My son's floor is spotless now because Hank sleeps in his room. The school room floor is pencil-free for the first time EVER! You are so welcome. We adopted a paper shredding cat :). For some reason books, notebooks, drawings, and sketchbooks stopped being left around everywhere. I kind of wish I could teach her to shred DD's laundry.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Jessica* Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 When I posted earlier I meant to add something. Putting a lot of toys away and rotating works, sort of. Sometimes when your 4yo wants to build with blocks and they aren't in the current rotation she might empty your pantry and build cities with canned goods and boxes, and crayon people might reside there. Apparently the only way to have a tidy house when you have young children is to be a minimalist, and even to never have a fully stocked pantry. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knoxinsox Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I hear ya!! The only thing that works on my kids is losing their media. Games, TV, Netflix, movies. I had to make it drastic enough to make it work though. I ask, they blow it off, they lose a day. Every time. So if I have to ask 4 times in a day or they mouth off, every single incident is 1 day lost. At one point, my son had lost a month of his media. I just get tired of the disobedience, the mouthing off, and the messy rooms. I shouldn't have to yell or lose my temper. And yes, I have sent the remotes and game controllers to work with my husband. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2ndGenHomeschooler Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 Preach it... I was fuming yesterday trying to clean and seeing piles everywhere. I'd go to put something away and find that closets/drawers/shelves or other storage areas were also destroyed making it impossible to put things away correctly. I need to get back to KonMari-ing. I also need to pick up the kids' stuff and make them pay me or work for it to get it back. It's ridiculous the amount of time we spend cleaning and looking for missing items. I swear we could be finished with school in half the time if they would just put their things away in their box when they're done - like I say to repeatedly. Instead, I spend half the morning listening to "I can't find my math book", Where is my rough draft?", and "I lost my pencil." I don't think we've had a week of karate yet where I haven't had to spend time helping someone find something. And my husband is just as bad as the kids... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 We have a rule that no new toy, craft, or game can be taken out until supplies from the previous activity are put away. It works well for us. We make exceptions (if asked) for elaborate projects still in progress. I admit to still picking up my child's dirty clothes, though. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I started confiscating stuff after an initial warning. I just pick it up and put in my closet. When kids remember the item and want it back they must pay either with goods or labor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I don't like when people call items they live with sh!t. If it is sh!t, why do you have it? If it isn't sh!t, don't call it that. It seems so ungrateful and not a message to give to kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted November 6, 2015 Share Posted November 6, 2015 I don't like when people call items they live with sh!t. If it is sh!t, why do you have it? If it isn't sh!t, don't call it that. It seems so ungrateful and not a message to give to kids. Don't you know that YOUR stuff is "stuff" and OTHER people's stuff is "sh!t"... Thank you, George Carlin... ;) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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