How do I become more frugal?

[Mimm]

Or perhaps my question is better worded: How do frugal people think?

 

I understand the behaviors I need to adopt, basically, buy less crap. Stop spending money. But how do I change the way I think about stuff and money? At any given time I can walk around with a list of things I "need" to buy. Sometimes these things are actual needs... my 13 year old needs more winter clothes. And sometimes these things are just wants. And my house is just full of stuff. I hate having so much stuff around and I want to purge some of the clutter but I keep acquiring more.

 

So if you're frugal, tell me how you think. When you think of something that would be nice to have... What do you do? Talk yourself out of it? Realize you have no place to put it? Think about how much it costs and how you'd rather have the money than the thing? How do you draw the line between wants and needs?

[regentrude]

So if you're frugal, tell me how you think. When you think of something that would be nice to have... What do you do? Talk yourself out of it? Realize you have no place to put it? Think about how much it costs and how you'd rather have the money than the thing? How do you draw the line between wants and needs?

Before I am acquiring an item, I am thinking about:

Why do I want this? What about it is appealing to me? (If it's just that it's cheap, that is an insufficient reason)

Where will I put it?

How often will I use it? Is it worth storing it the rest of the time? (The answer is usually "no" for seasonal stuff like Christmas dishes)

 

What am I currently using that serves this purpose? How is the new thing better? Will I get rid of the old thing and use the new one instead? Will I want to keep the old one? (In which case, I often decide against acquiring the new item)

 

I think having less stuff is a mindset that has not necessarily to do with money but with the attitude about material possessions. So, thinking about the cost is not the deciding factor to me, because lots of stuff is very cheap.

 

Line between wants and needs is, of course, always blurry. I do not need multiple summer dresses or pairs of sandals - I want them. OTOH, I did need a new purse because my old one was literally falling apart.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting (and owning) things beyond the bare necessities - as long as one can afford it. What I find important is that the new item truly brings me joy. So, I think simply being mindful about purchases goes a long way.

[Sherry in OH]

Your 13 year old needs more winter clothing. 

 

Frugal: look at the existing clothing and determine what else is needed.  Jeans, size xx, 1 pair, Dockers/dress pants, size xx, navy, etc.  Then go buy just those items.

 

Not-frugal: go to store, shirts are on sale.  Buy five.  Get home and realize that child has plenty of shirts but needs pants and socks.  Make second trip to store to get those items, also buy more shirts because they are still on sale and you aren’t sure that the ones at home will match the new pants.

[merry gardens]

Instead of "My daughter needs more winter clothes" be more specific. "My daughter needs a warm sweater, a pair of pants and 2 pair of wooly socks". (Or whatever specific items she needs.) "More" could lead you to buy too much yet still not have what you need.

[elegantlion]

I started by only carrying cash. It's easier to see where your money went when you pay with cash. If you're out for the day and know you want to stop for lunch, you know you can only spend x amount shopping. I also didn't pick up extras, even a magazine, without thinking about it. I used to push my cart around the store for longer than necessary while I debated about an item. 

 

When you're used to spending, it's hard to stop the momentum. Don't expect the shift to happen overnight and it's a bit like stopping a bad habit, there are some pangs that eventually go away. 

 

I window shop online and have an idea of what I want before I go out. 

 

I keep lists of items I need, items I want and prioritize. I've done that with my winter wardrobe this year - which I needed because I'm out of the house more for my school. 

 

I also made rules about bringing stuff into the house. If one item comes in, a like item must leave. 

 

There is a minimalist living social group here you could join. Minimalist doesn't mean living starkly, it's more about living intentionally. There are some good ideas and links in the group. 

[merry gardens]

Also try to practice the "one in, one out" theory of aquiring goods. Instead of thinking "Where am I going to put this?" think "What would I need to get rid of if I bought this?"

 

That philosophy keeps the "stuff" to a manageable level. Usually we buy stuff because we like the way it looks, but if you bring it home and it clutters up the place, then you don't really like how it looks in your house. Take it back. Or throw out, sell or give something away to make room for it.

 

Don't easily let go of items that are functional. Postpone replacing items until it's really neccesary.

[Hikin' Mama]

I think far too many people don't truly distinguish between needs and wants. Not saying this is you, but I see many people justifying their spending as a "need" when it truly is not. For example, most people I know "need" a smart phone. I still don't have one (I can afford it, but don't want it), and I can guarantee you that in 47 years I have not yet needed it. I know a businessman with a handful of businesses that still has not had a smart phone, yet is quite successful in what he does.

 

All you smart phone users, don't get uptight, that was just the first example to enter my incredibly snot-filled head. (I'm sick. Ick!)

 

Another thing I do is put away, in an online account where it isn't super easy to access, the amount I want to save. Then I try to live on the rest. It is easier to discern needs from wants when you are working with less money.

 

Now, like Regentrude, I buy things I don't need , but want, and I don't feel the need to justify them. For instance, I just bought two pair of running shoes for a total of $265. I love to run and walk and hike (I will use these shoes for all those activities) and they greatly enrich my life. What doesn't enrich my life is extra stuff I have to organize and dust and tell my other family members to put away. Another thing that doesn't enrich my life is cable TV, which would probably cause me to sit and watch and get sucked into shows way too much. So I've never had it. YMMV These are just examples from my life.

 

So I guess I would say I ask myself how much value I'm really going to get for my purchase. I also ask myself if there is somewhere I can get it for cheaper. I buy many things at the thrift store, like one of the first times the whole family was going to fly, I hit the thrift stores and found carry-on sized luggage for $4-6 each. Boo ya! I wanted a jogging stroller to use to take my granddaughter on walks and found one for $15. Craigslist is a good place, too. I looked high and low before I found two used kayaks and paddles. I had wanted them for 2 years, but waited until I found the deal.

 

Okay, enough of my rambling. A great website that I think someone here recommended is Mr. Money Mustache. I love it! He has lots of great info.

 

Best of luck!

[VeganCupcake]

I am just on the path to frugality, but one thing that's helped me is allocating each dollar of our monthly income to something--whether that's savings, groceries, clothing, or spending money for me or DH. There is no money without a specific responsibility. Then, I have to prioritize the best way to spend that money. Sure, I could take money from the home maintenance category to buy something fun for myself, but then I remember that, for example, several of our appliances are about 7 to 10 years old, so they may need to be replaced in the next year. 

 

The bank account looks like it has all this extra money in it this way, but I know that money has a responsibility to cover future needs.

[sassenach]

I never buy anything the first time I think to buy it. I only make pre-planned purchases. Example, I was walking into old navy this week to get ds a hoodie. I also knew that dd needs a heavy winter coat. I got ds the hoodie, checked to see if the winter coats were on sale. They were, so I grabbed a coat for her. I saw some shirts on sale that I might like. I walked away. I had no plans on buying myself clothing. I can get by on what I have.

 

I talk myself out of most purchases. If I can live without that item in between the time I first saw it and whenever I might make it back to the store, I probably don't really need it.

 

I don't window shop. Online or in person.

 

Good luck!

[Jane in NC]

I am not sure if the question that the OP is asking is one about frugality or how to achieve less clutter.  It is true that the latter may lead to the former--but not necessarily.

 

Frugality almost seems to be a personality trait.  When I had my first job out of grad school, I had a choice:  do I buy all the stuff that I couldn't afford while a poor student or do I fund a retirement account?  Of course, these are not mutually exclusive, but it was more important for me to fund retirement and build general savings than replace the old couch or buy a new car.

 

My sister views herself as "frugal" because she is a bargain shopper.  It doesn't matter if she already has three winter coats in fine condition; she'll get another one if it is a deal.

 

I have reached a point in life where I am approaching purchases more thoughtfully (as Elegant Lion suggests).  There is one particular store that I like and the clothes there tend to fit me well and be flattering.  They send a monthly catalog and various incentives to shop (coupons).  I never go into the store cold.  I think about my needs (buying a ponte knit pencil skirt was my latest purchase).  I thought about coordinating pieces and shoes.

 

Growing children can be another issue though. I would regularly shop the sales at Kohls or Target for pants when he was a young lad. Growth spurts sometimes meant that he was only wearing a particular size or length for a short period of time.  Also, teens often want certain styles or colors.  Can you enlist your teen to view shopping as a game?  We can buy jeans and a hoodie for this price or buy jeans and a hoodie here while still having money for the movies or a family game.

 

Modeling good financial habits will help your kids in the long run.

[Carol in Cal.]

1.  Never buy on impulse except at cheap garage sales

2.  Never pay full price for anything except utilities

3.  Don't go around thinking about what you want.  Go around thinking of your longterm goal and how nice it will be, whether that is having your house paid off or retiring or being able to fund a missionary or paying for college.  Then the other stuff doesn't look so attractive.

4. When a true need shows up, shop around for a long time.

5.  Make a game out of figuring out how to spend less on things you really can't do without, like cars for instance.

[Mergath]

It helps to wait a while- a good month, not just a couple days- and reevaluate how much you still want it.  The things that are passing whims tend not to seem all that necessary, but if I still badly want something after a month, there's a good chance it really will make my life easier.  

[gardenmom5]

some people spend money to meet a psychological need.  they like the 'rush' from buying stuff.  those people are actually helped to spend less by taking antidepressants. (or similar).  my mil is a prime example.

 

I realized I would buy things as a compromise - but not be happy with the compromised item, so I'd look for something else.  it was worth it to me to only buy the item with which I'd actually be happy. and cheaper in the long run.

[gardenmom5]

 

 

My sister views herself as "frugal" because she is a bargain shopper.  It doesn't matter if she already has three winter coats in fine condition; she'll get another one if it is a deal.

 

 

 

three elephants for a $1 is not a bargain . . . . . . just sayin'.

 

[kewb]

First step for me was identifying need vs want.

We are a "cash on the barrel" family. If we don't have the cash available we do not buy the item.

I tend to wait for most purchases. For example, I see a sweater I like but I will wait for it to go on sale. Usually by the time it goes on sale I no longer want it.

There is no magic bullet. For me, it was a process.

[cjzimmer1]

I definitely stop to think about what I will do with item before buying it.  Especially anything that is nonconsumable.  For instance I see a craft type item on sale (if it's not on sale I won't even consider it).  I think about what's involved to make it, whether or not my 3 girls can do it by themselves or will they need help, what will they do with it when it's finished.  If it's something they can do themselves and would make a nice gift then I might get it for them.  If I have do do a lot of helping or it will end up as extra clutter in my house than no.  For instance my girls would LOVE a rainbow loom.  But I know we will end up with 3000 rubberbands on the floor and none of the relatives will appreciate a rubberband bracelet. WHich means they would never really leave the house. Nope not coming home.  One girl wanted red, white and blue perler beads.  She made American themed ornaments and handed them out to the veterans at the special service our church holds to honor veterans.  Yep no problem buying those and bringing them home even though I know have to find a place to store the extras.  Neither qualified as a need but one served a specific purpose but the other did not.

 

Same principle with clothes,  I hate clothes shopping (which in itself saves tons of money).  I don't buy anything unless we see a need for a specific item.  I have 3 girls who love shoes but with 8 in the family we have no room for extra shoes.  They get one pair of tennis shoes, one pair of boots, one pair of sandals and 1 pair of dress shoes in a color that will compliment most things.  We don't buy specially coordinating shoes that only go with one or two outfits.  Too much money and space would be wasted on something that isn't used much.  But on my list I have child who needs new dress shoes.  Old ones are getting tight but not outgrown yet.  We've looked one place found some okay choices but not great choices.  So she is still wearing the  slightly tight shoes till  we have time to look elsewhere.  So we make do with the less than perfect option we have rather than buying another will get us by item because with the second option we would still end needing to go buy yet another thing to end up with the right fit in the end.

 

Anything I buy has to serve a specific purpose.  I don't buy things because they are nice to have.  Now I might see something in the store and think "oh that would be nice" but I wouldn't buy it then.  If I came home and thought about it and realized it could save me time, fill a specific organizational need, or otherwise be a big blessing to my life I might go back and get it.  If I'm storing my utensils in a plastic bag because I have no drawer space than if it's a cute canister to hold utensils neatly on the countertop, that would make my life easier and qualifies as a necessary purchase but if I already have all my utensils in a drawer than no I don't need something on my countertop that does the same thing.

 

Also I have found then when I spend a significant amount of time doing deep cleaning, I discovering that my desire to buy anything is even further reduced.  I put all that effort in and then I want to enjoy my empty clean spaces not fill them back up.

 

But basically it's really comes down to evaluate why you are purchasing and item, and once it's determined as a true need then trying to fill that need as economically as possible.

 

[Pawz4me]

Or perhaps my question is better worded: How do frugal people think?

 

I understand the behaviors I need to adopt, basically, buy less crap. Stop spending money. But how do I change the way I think about stuff and money? At any given time I can walk around with a list of things I "need" to buy. Sometimes these things are actual needs... my 13 year old needs more winter clothes. And sometimes these things are just wants. And my house is just full of stuff. I hate having so much stuff around and I want to purge some of the clutter but I keep acquiring more.

 

So if you're frugal, tell me how you think. When you think of something that would be nice to have... What do you do? Talk yourself out of it? Realize you have no place to put it? Think about how much it costs and how you'd rather have the money than the thing? How do you draw the line between wants and needs?

 

Are you really trying to be more frugal, or more of a minimalist?

 

I consider myself a minimalist, but frugal I am not.  If I need or really want something I get it w/o much thought to comparison shopping.  So it's probably a very good thing that I'm a minimalist. ;)

 

I think whether you're trying to be one or the other matters some.

[Guest]

Or perhaps my question is better worded: How do frugal people think?

 

I understand the behaviors I need to adopt, basically, buy less crap. Stop spending money. But how do I change the way I think about stuff and money? At any given time I can walk around with a list of things I "need" to buy. Sometimes these things are actual needs... my 13 year old needs more winter clothes. And sometimes these things are just wants. And my house is just full of stuff. I hate having so much stuff around and I want to purge some of the clutter but I keep acquiring more.

 

So if you're frugal, tell me how you think. When you think of something that would be nice to have... What do you do? Talk yourself out of it? Realize you have no place to put it? Think about how much it costs and how you'd rather have the money than the thing? How do you draw the line between wants and needs?

When I think of something that would be nice to have, I go through a very extensive thought process of criteria. I am also slow to act on buying something, which tremendously helps reduce unnecessary buying. Here are things I ask myself:

 

How long will this thing be useful/pleasing to me? What is its life-cycle?

Is there something else I have already that can do this job? Is there an alternate way I can gain this benefit without buying the thing?

How will I get rid of this thing when it is no longer useful?

Where will this thing live in my home?

What materials does this thing use? (Because I also care about trash and waste.)

 

Some of this is simply in how you define yourself, as with anything in life. I do not define myself as a "spender." I don't view myself as a person who has to have fancy things, newest things, expensive things. If my old cell phone still works, that is good enough; I don't need a brand-new iPhone to be happy. I am happier seeing how long I can make something last, how un-wasteful I can be, how well I can repurpose something.

 

Honestly, I don't think I ever "talk myself out of buying things," even though that is often the end result. IOW, I don't chastise myself mentally, saying, "Don't spend! You can't spend!" I just tell myself why I don't really want to spend.

[Garga]

I spent 100 hours this summer decluttering the attic and main part of the house. I didn't clear out the basement or shed as I'll need lots of DH's input in those areas.

 

I found that after spending 100 hours in the hot attic or going through all the closets and drawers mercilessly getting rid of about 40% of what we own (not counting furniture) there's no way I want to bring in more stuff.

 

Perhaps the place for you to start is to do some serious decluttering. For the first time ever, every single item in my home has a purpose and a place to be stored. Cleaning is so easy. Perhaps if you put in the time to look over every item you own and got rid of 40% of it, you wouldn't be so fast to bring more in. That's what's happened to me. I remember the work of hauling all that stuff out of the house. No way am I ready to bring more in just to have to haul it back out in a few years.

 

Here are some examples. I have 4 people in my house, so I kept only 8 bath towels. We use them a few times between washing. No one needs more than 2 a week. Before I decluttered, I had a good 20 bath towels, but most of them were getting old and holey. I took them to a local animal shelter.

 

I kept 10 kitchen towels and washrags. I use a new one each day so that gives me 10 days before I run out. I could possibly get by with 7, but sometimes I just don't have enough laundry in the basket.

 

I bought the boys clothing. 2 jeans, 1 sweat, 1 church pant. 3 church shirts, 7 casual shirts. 1 boots, 1 sneakers, and 1 nice shoes but only for the boy who likes nice shoes. The other is happy with sneakers at church. Total of 4 pants and 10 shirts and 2 shoes each for the entire winter. Their drawers aren't piled high with clothes. It's easy to put everything away. Everything can be matched with everything else.

 

Basically, I got rid of anything that was extra. Even if I could have "used it one day." Remember, I was merciless in my decluttering. All the stuff was sucking the life out of me. I'd rather have fun buying something I need later than having to wade through all this stuff that I might "use some day." If I need it some day (and I might not), I'll worry about it on that day and buy it then.

 

Now that my house is clear and it's easy to clean, I don't want new things at all. I look at items and think, "Oh, how adorable!" but then go through the list others have mentioned (where will I put it, what will I have to remove, etc,) and I find myself content to admire the object in the store and then leave it there.

[kubiac]

Stage your home for living. Start by permanently removing a third of your stuff.

 

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/stage-your-home-for-living/

 

 

 

Do a trash audit if you really want to get a sense of how much waste passes through your life. Fighting waste DOES save money, because it's a mindset change and you streamline and you smarten up. ;)

 

https://www.stlouis-mo.gov/government/departments/street/refuse/recycle/home-waste-audit.cfm

 

 

Try a no-spend week to remind yourself how much stuff you already have. We get blind to stuff we see every day ("I have no clothes!" "We're out of food!") and a no-spend week really brings things into focus.

 

http://dontwastethecrumbs.com/2014/10/4-life-lessons-learned-from-30-days-without-spending-money/

 

 

ALSO:

 

* If someone is giving you a free lunch, the real product is YOU. Be careful what you accept that's "free."

* CONTROVERSIAL: Coupons are a trick.

* Stay out of the stores. Stay out of the malls. Cancel the catalogs. Unsubscribe from the mailing lists. Just TURN OFF the commercial broadcasts in your life.

* When you buy something new, the price you pay is probably 1/3 marketing costs, 1/3 packaging and transport, 1/3 actual value. Refuse to pay for marketing and packaging.

* Buy used and save the difference.

* Don't buy depreciating assets. I'm not talking about oil wells and REITs level assets. Every possession in your life is on your family's balance sheet. When you die and someone has to get rid of your stuff, will anyone want any of it? Or is it all just garbage that hasn't been thrown away yet?

* If you read no other "frugal" literature, read The Millionaire Next Door by Tom Stanley.

[Desert Strawberry]

1. Stop going to the store. Choose a shopping day. Wait until it comes. If you forget what you "needed", you didn't need it.

 

2. Ask yourself if you can live without it. Is it necessary? Do you already have something that does this job? How are you accomplishing this task now? 

 

3. Ask yourself if you can make, do, or substitute something you already have. You don't need butter if you can use olive oil instead. You don't need spaghetti sauce if you have tomatoes and seasonings. You don't need glue sticks if you have bottles of white glue. You don't need a gimmicky chopper if you have a knife. You don't need a new shirt if you can sew a button on the old one. 

 

4. Eliminate the clutter you already have. There's a lot of discussion in the minimalist group about this. Having too much stuff gets in the way of using what you have. Clutter breeds more clutter. 

 

 

[hornblower]

I think it's important to identify WHY you want to be frugal. Frugality isn't a goal in itself IMO. Being a scroogey money hoarder isn't a virtue :)

But, if you want to get out of debt, or you're saving for a trip, or an education, or retirement, or a new home, or a new car, or just because you'd like to have a bank account with a big cushion in it for your peace of mind.... all those things are legitimate goals & knowing what your goal is & why you're choosing to be smart with your money can provide the motivation for new spending habits.

Stay out of the mall, no going in just to look around, no window shopping. Only go when you know you need something specific.

Stay off pinterest, cancel catalogues and magazines which promote consumption. I refuse delivery of the local papers because they're just wrappers for flyers.
Don't watch commercial tv.  Turn off ads on radio etc.  If you don't know about it, you won't be wanting it.
 

Have a budget for everything & keep track of spending.

Bigger items get put on a list & then we do keep an eye out for sales etc. Sometimes things get put on a list & linger there for a while & then months later we decide we don't want the item after all.

If you're having a hard time with buying only pre-planned, budgeted items, budget in 'crazy' money - could be a small amount or a big amount but this is your money for the week (or month) that you can spend on a book or a coffee or a t-shirt or a dinner out or whatever....
 

But generally: no impulse shopping. For me this means that stick to buying groceries at stores that only sell groceries. I tried shopping at Costco etc & I think it's a money suck. You go to buy 7 dinners & 7 lunches for 4 people & come out with a t-shirt, a package of socks and patio furniture. Stores like that encourage way too much impulse buying.

I do let myself go crazy in the fruit & vegetable section of the grocery store :D  We're allowed to impulse buy anything in that section, regardless of price.

[Laura Corin]

I do think that I was brought up to consider frugality to be a virtue in itself.  Frugality in this sense means avoiding waste, rather than hoarding money for its own sake.  My mother is very frugal, but she likes to have that money saved so that she can help people out when they need it.  She's on a low income, but she was able to give one of her grandchildren a little money towards a deposit on a house.

 

I tend to buy things to replace other things that are worn out.  That doesn't mean that I don't get things I like: I do, but usually because the previous versions are worn out.  So at the end of last winter, I looked at my two flannel shirts and realised that they were looking very worn around the collar and cuffs.  I relegated them to the gardening clothes section, and bought two new warm shirts from the end-of-season Lands' End clearance.  I had fun buying them: a beautiful cobalt corduroy and a purple-and-blue flannel.  But they were essentially replacements.  I don't tend to buy 'extra' things unless circumstances change: when I got a job, I bought a wardrobe for that.  When I had a week's worth of clothes for work, I stopped buying until the clothes started to look less smart, then replaced.  I rarely buy clothes full price - the adults don't grow so I can buy at the end of the previous year's season; I can usually make a pretty good guess about what size the children will be wearing too.  As I have two boys, any decent clothes are kept for the second.

 

The same with household things: my big mixer broke, so I considered how much I actually used it, and replaced it with a hand-held model that does all I need.  If I see a gadget, I think hard about what it would replace, or whether circumstances have led to needing something different.  Usually they haven't.  If it's something for which I have no practical need but I would like, I put it on my Christmas or birthday list for my husband to choose from.

 

ETA: food.  I don't go to the shop with a list, but I only buy meat on sale (I have price points in my head for different kinds of protein).  I tend to shop at Aldi for most things, then go up the road to a standard grocery store for anything that they don't carry.  They are within a couple of hundred yards of each other, so I do it all in one trip.  I buy some things frozen rather than fresh because they are a much better deal: fish, and sliced bell peppers are the big ones.

 

Heating: we keep the thermostat low (13 to 15 degrees C/55 to 59 degrees F) and wear lots of clothes.  My standard winter indoor wear is lined trousers, wool socks, camisole, turtle neck, fleece and sometimes down vest.  We have a wood burning stove in the sitting room (our own wood) so that room is closer to 20 degrees C/68 degrees F.

 

L

[IfIOnly]

I'm seriously frugal. We have no debt. I can share some things.

 

1. Vehicle: We only have one. My dh takes the bus to work when I need or van.  We have full coverage insurance though because replacing our van would put us in debt.  Even when a bus was not an option for dh, I would take him to work when I wanted the van or he would carpool.  We bought our van used ,but it's in great shape. We looked, waited, and found it for $5,000 cash. 

 

2. Home: We live in smaller homes but not too small. Less electricity, less rent, less financial stress. 

 

3. Stuff: I don't spend money on things we don't need. Well, I have bought some decor for my home from Craigslist and Walmart (oh, and allposters.com for a few Monet prints and walmart frames like this one:http://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-24x36-Wide-Poster-Frame-Black-2pk/17284443 ) but have spent very little on things. I almost exclusively by used on Craigslist: desks, furniture, toys, everything!. I just bought a beautiful wool rug there for my living room. I get compliments all the time on my home! It's not cluttered, but cute. We do not celebrate holidays with gift giving but memories and family fun and yummy food.  My kids each get $100 for their birthdays. They have all kinds of sports gear, toys, etc. from thrift stores and CL as we find them: skateboards, rolled blades, scooters, sports gear like tennis, baseball, soccer, so, so much fun stuff.

 

4. Phone: I don't have a cell phone. My choice. We have great internet service and an Ooma home phone. I spend $30 a month total for these services. My husband's cell is paid from by his boss. 

 

5. Insurance: Anything we can't afford to replace is insured: phone, rental, car. We are committed to medical insurance though there has been times we've had to go without. Right now we qualify for state medical so we're doing that, but otherwise we'd be back with
Samaritan Ministries. 

 

6. Clothes: Used except key pieces that just need to be bought new or are hard to find used. My kids all have Keen sandals that we by new because they last forever and can be passed on nicely. Stuff like that.  I found my 12 year old 5 pairs of like new, name brand jeans at thrift stores. I haven't had success with my 10 year old though, so I bought his new. CL is awesome for coats, shoes, snow gear, etc.

 

7. Food: I could write a book. We bought a boat of CL for $300 (awesome boat with 2 motors...we watched and waited for a great deal!) The boys go fishing with Dad for rec. and to provide fish for the family. We live near lots of lakes and rivers that are unpolluted. We raise rabbits.

 

 

[IfIOnly]

Oh, comparison shopping: Always. I can buy bell peppers for half the price at one store vs. Costco, and I know where everything I buy is the best price.

[Chris in VA]

Find out why you spend, and you will find your motivation for becoming frugal.

[Mimm]

I am not sure if the question that the OP is asking is one about frugality or how to achieve less clutter.  It is true that the latter may lead to the former--but not necessarily.

 

Frugality almost seems to be a personality trait.

 

I'm wanting to simply acquire less stuff but I seem to always want more stuff. But I don't like having so much stuff around. It's a stuff problem and a clutter problem and a money problem all rolled into one. :)

 

It helps to wait a while- a good month, not just a couple days- and reevaluate how much you still want it.  The things that are passing whims tend not to seem all that necessary, but if I still badly want something after a month, there's a good chance it really will make my life easier.  

 

Waiting before purchasing is a very good idea. There have been many times I wanted something and couldn't afford it so I said I'd get it at some point in the future, but by the time that point came, I no longer wanted it. :)

 

Are you really trying to be more frugal, or more of a minimalist?

 

I consider myself a minimalist, but frugal I am not.  If I need or really want something I get it w/o much thought to comparison shopping.  So it's probably a very good thing that I'm a minimalist. ;)

 

I think whether you're trying to be one or the other matters some.

 

Perhaps more of a minimalist? I suppose? I've seen extreme minimalism and it's not appealing to me, but I want to be intentional about every purchase. I want to not get something unless I will use it and love it. I'm tired of having things around that I don't use, don't want and don't love. My husband is resistant to me getting rid of things so I have to sneak them out of the house sometimes. He wants us to keep a toaster oven. We almost never use it, we have a toaster, an oven and a microwave and it's simply not worth the space it takes up in our kitchen but for some reason, it's this big point of contention between us. I finally moved it out of the kitchen and told him that if we don't miss it by the end of the year, it's gone. He sighed and agreed.

 

Didn't mean to get on that tangent. Thanks for all the replies. I'm interested in the thought process that people go through before spending money because I think I spend money fairly thoughtlessly and spontaneously. We're in the position to be paying off some debt this coming year and I desperately want to and need to change some habits.

[SamanthaCarter]

I am a minimalist, but I don't consider myself to be terribly frugal. That's because I often let needs become emergencies, and so then I'm forced to pay full price. I really dislike shopping and then when people say never pay full price, I feel guilty and dislike it even more. It's a downward spiral. Trying to work on this!

[73349]

To me, the essence of the frugal mindset is this: The default is to refrain from spending. The next best thing is to spend as little as will be satisfactory to meet the need.

 

So a growing 13YO needs winter clothes. Presumably this needs to be taken care of in the next few weeks. All right, what exactly, and how many of each thing? Since your 13YO may be nearing adult size, these may be pieces that will need to last several years. How much space and what kind of care will these things need? (I don't picture a teen loving the idea of having to hand-wash a heavy sweater in cold water, for example. New clothes are no good at the bottom of the hamper.)

 

And then, how to get the items. Are any nice hand-me-downs available in the home already? If not, what about a secondhand shop like Goodwill or Plato's Closet? If it's necessary to buy new, what store(s) will have items that are a great value? (For example, Kohl's with a sale/coupon may get you a better deal than Target without.)

 

We're fortunate here that I can get a lot of DS's clothes, at least for a few more sizes, at a consignment sale that takes place twice a year. To be frugal, I have to buy enough clothes to last at least until the next sale, and I have to go in knowing what he already has in each size so I don't buy too much. Right now I'm wearing a blazer from Goodwill myself; I paid around $3 for it about ten years ago--saving myself $50 by not going to the mall first. It still looks new.

[Chris in VA]

I think some people attach meaning to their stuff. Perhaps the toaster oven represents something to your dh.

 

I would tell you the Story of The Pool Table, but it would take too much time to type out. :lol:

 

Suffice it to say, we have one that almost never gets used, and we will continue to have one because it represents "success" to dh, even though he knows that's silly and a "tape" from his youth. I give him that one because he puts up with my silliness, too, and it's not that big a deal. (Even though it's a "big" deal and I sure would like that space... :laugh: )

[IfIOnly]

I am a minimalist, as well. We invested in a bunch of Gorilla shelves from Costco, and everything that doesn't get used regularly goes on a garage shelf usually in a plastic bin that's clearly labeled so it can be found and put away easily. So that toaster oven would be going in the garage/out of the kitchen, as well. Winter clothes, baby gear, all go in the garage if it's not getting used. I have a bin in my entry closet for stuff to take to the thrift store as I'm constantly filling. Well, I would say used to be constantly filling! My house takes no time to clean even if it's a sty (I'm a neat/clean freak, but if I take even OND day off it can go from company ready to CPS call worthy :)) because I've gotten rid of so much!  Plus, I've trained my kids to clean, so in about a half hour or so the house is sparkling again. But that's 'nother post. :)

[Saddlemomma]

I haven't read the other replies, but this is how I became frugal...

 

Before becoming a Christian and married to my now wonderful husband of 14 years, I was very different person.  I spent money on frivolous things -- especially for my oldest DD.  I didn't consider needs vs. wants, and neither did my then DH.  We didn't think too much about credit cards and figured, with the low payments, we could stay on top of things.  Fingerhut and Popular Club (remember those?) were my best friends.

 

Then my marriage, unbeknownst to me, was fraying at the edges.  DH started drinking more; bills were piling up; things were going wrong with our very old house which needed to be fixed (roof, bathroom floor because tub and sink were falling through, etc),   At the time I worked at a bank and I started to get collection calls (I actually worked in the Loan Workout Dept) and this was very embarrassing to me.  I didn't handle the finances; DH did. 

 

Then, just as the crushing bills were becoming too much, I came into some money when a distant relative died.  I asked DH for the bills,  took that $60M and paid off all the credit cards, fixed the bathroom, and bought a used vehicle outright because my old one was on its last legs.  The only thing we had left was DH's car bill and the mortgage.  I felt free.  Unfortunately, so did DH.  He took off with a young girl.

 

I was now faced with maintaining our large, old home on just my income and very little savings.  I immediately put the house up for sale and started selling my collection of knickknacks (of which I had quite a few). The whole situation taught me a HUGE lesson about debt!

 

When I met my current DH, he told me his nickname was "Cheapy G".  Boy was that accurate.  He took me into a whole new realm of frugality.  "Waste not, want not" is his motto.  You see, he lost his father at the age of 4.  His mom had to support him and his four siblings on an income derived from babysitting and social security.  They had nothing and made do with thrift shops, donations, and their own ingenuity.  To this day, he and his siblings are extremely self-reliant.  They are jacks of all trades and masters of some.  My DH can look at something on the internet and then figure out how build it himself. He can do carpentry work, basic electrical and plumbing repairs/jobs, etc.  All of them are extremely artistic as well.

 

DH has taught me much about needs vs. wants.  We have no mortgage, no car payment, and only one credit card.  If something is put on the card, we pay it off within the month so we don't get hit with interest.  We just have his income and a little stipend for me from part-time babysitting which I use to purchase our homeschool materials. 

 

I no longer even think about knickknacks.  I see them as dust collectors, and I hate to dust.  We don't have the usual clutter either, and I can't stand to see clutter.  Now, since I don't work outside the home and live on a 50-acre farm, I wear my clothes until they literally fall apart and can't be patched anymore.  I have a few nice things for church, but other than that, I get clothes at the local thrift shops.  Everything I purchase goes through a rigorous "need vs. want" decision-making process.  It's quite hilarious how long I'll hem and haw about buying something.  Most of the time I deem the object as not really necessary or figure DH can make it cheaper and therefore it's not worth the cost.

 

DH laughs at me now and thinks I may surpass him as "Cheapy G"

 

 

[Garga]

Oh, another thing I heard about money and spending and saving and it rang true to me.

 

For people like me, saving money and making do with what we have is a thrill. It's a game to me. I enjoy it wholeheartedly. I do not feel deprived in any way when I say "no" to a purchase or put back something on a shelf that I kinda like.

 

But for other people, the way I live is terrible. It's a sign of failure in their eyes. Seeing something nice that they like and saying "no" to it means they can't provide for themselves or their family.

 

I am naturally the first way. Well, maybe not naturally, but I was raised that way so I'm content to be that way.

 

But some people are raised that if you can't get the little extras in life, like the fancy steak or the sweater for full price in October because you didn't buy a sweater for half off last spring, then that means you can't take care of yourself and have failed.

 

I know a man who was raised in terrible poverty and when he was on his own with his kids he made a point of denying them nothing. Now that his kids have grown they're good people and aren't spoiled, but they do think that if they see something they would like or need, they should just pick it up and get it right away. The idea of shopping around or saying "no" to themselves isn't something they even think about. They are respectful of how I live, but they don't always "get" me.

 

So...you may have to consider how you feel about being frugal. Are you like me? Is it a fun game and you love it? Or does it make you feel icky inside, like you're failing in some way?

[HS Mom in NC]

How long have I done without this?

Why can't I continue to get along without it?

How have I gotten by without it so far?

Has how I've gotten by without it changed?

How would someone in a 3rd world country manage without it?

How would my great grandmother who raised 7 children during the Great Depression as a single parent manage to do without it?

How would someone who chose to live minimally manage to do without it?

Is there a significantly less expensive alternative to this?

Is buying and having this worth more to me than the peace of mind that comes withpaying off debt and saving for my older years?

If all these other things were so worth it, why am I replacing them with this new thing?

Am I wanting to buy this because I'm bored or trying to distract myself from some unpleasant aspect of my life?

Am I being selfish or greedy?  Materialistic or frivolous?  If I am, is this a pattern with me or an exception? What do I need to address in myself if it's a pattern?

Is buying stuff an attempt to fill a spiritual or relationship void in my life?

Am I having an impulse control problem?

[Mergath]

 

Then, just as the crushing bills were becoming too much, I came into some money when a distant relative died.  I asked DH for the bills,  took that $60M and paid off all the credit cards, fixed the bathroom, and bought a used vehicle outright because my old one was on its last legs. 

 

 

:blink:   You must have had a LOT of credit cards... lol.

[Guest]

Before I am acquiring an item, I am thinking about:

Why do I want this? What about it is appealing to me? (If it's just that it's cheap, that is an insufficient reason)

Where will I put it?

How often will I use it? Is it worth storing it the rest of the time? (The answer is usually "no" for seasonal stuff like Christmas dishes)

 

What am I currently using that serves this purpose? How is the new thing better? Will I get rid of the old thing and use the new one instead? Will I want to keep the old one? (In which case, I often decide against acquiring the new item)

 

I think having less stuff is a mindset that has not necessarily to do with money but with the attitude about material possessions. So, thinking about the cost is not the deciding factor to me, because lots of stuff is very cheap.

 

Line between wants and needs is, of course, always blurry. I do not need multiple summer dresses or pairs of sandals - I want them. OTOH, I did need a new purse because my old one was literally falling apart.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting (and owning) things beyond the bare necessities - as long as one can afford it. What I find important is that the new item truly brings me joy. So, I think simply being mindful about purchases goes a long way.

 

THIS and a couple more things:  walk away.  If you really really want or need it, it will be worth the trip back to get it.  I can't tell you how much money I have saved just because I forgot about the stupid item or because it wasn't worth the trip back.  

 

Figure out where you are going to store it, what is there now, where you are going to put THAT...and so on.  

Ask how much time/money it will take to maintain the item.  Does an item require dry-cleaning?  You really are just renting that piece of clothing.  Is that silver item super pretty?  Good, because you'll enjoy looking at it for the 20 minutes it takes to clean it every 2 months.  That sort of thing.  :0)

[Mimm]

Oh, comparison shopping: Always. I can buy bell peppers for half the price at one store vs. Costco, and I know where everything I buy is the best price.

 

I'm really terrible at remembering what I've paid for something. I couldn't tell you how much I pay for bell peppers so I'm not really sure if the price has gone up or down or anything. I don't get the newspaper so I'm not good at shopping sales. This is one area I could get a lot better in.

 

I think it's important to identify WHY you want to be frugal. Frugality isn't a goal in itself IMO. Being a scroogey money hoarder isn't a virtue :)

 

But, if you want to get out of debt, or you're saving for a trip, or an education, or retirement, or a new home, or a new car, or just because you'd like to have a bank account with a big cushion in it for your peace of mind.... all those things are legitimate goals & knowing what your goal is & why you're choosing to be smart with your money can provide the motivation for new spending habits.

 

Stay out of the mall, no going in just to look around, no window shopping. Only go when you know you need something specific.

Stay off pinterest, cancel catalogues and magazines which promote consumption. I refuse delivery of the local papers because they're just wrappers for flyers.

Don't watch commercial tv.  Turn off ads on radio etc.  If you don't know about it, you won't be wanting it.

 

 

Getting out of debt is my main motivation.  I don't go to the mall and I live within walking distance of one. :) When I go, I run in, get exactly what I went for, and leave. I hate mall shopping. I do go onto pinterest but it doesn't seem to lead to much spending. More variety in food we make but that's about it. I don't have magazines or catalogues. Probably the biggest thing that leads to spending for me is "window shopping" at Amazon. Which leads to real shopping. So that's bad. 

[Jennifer132]

I try to make purchases based on how useful the product is to me. If I think I'll use it long term, then it's worth the money. If not, then I try to refrain from buying it.

 

I like shopping online, because I can put things in my cart and consider buying them for as long as I want. This helps avoid splurging, at least for me. I know it probably could have the opposite affect on other people.

 

I don't buy things that have no real USE. Like bows for wrapped presents, pretty stationary (plain paper works just as well), knick knacks, cheap toys of low quality, etc. but I don't mind spending money on something nice that I will use, like say, an expensive dehydrator or a set of wooden blocks.

 

I buy used. Used books, used clothing, used winter coats, used toys, if they are nice.

 

I make things that I could otherwise pay more to buy, like bread, yogurt, granola, almond milk, almond flour, smoothies, etc. this frees us money for other things I can't or don't want to make.

[Ottakee]

I agree with figuring out what your ds really NEEDS..........likely it is not 8 pairs of jeans if you have your own laundry at home.  Depending on your lifestyle he might need only 3-4 or 5.  If you have a good thrift store or higher end consignment shop you might be able to find him some great jeans for a fraction of the cost of new at the mall.

 

Try to plan ahead for purchases.  It can be harder with a teen but if by late winter you realize that ds will need a new coat, boots, gloves and 2 hoodies for next winter that is when you check out the clearance sales and buy them for 75% off then instead of waiting until Nov. to buy the winter gear.

 

Getting rid of clutter and excess would be a great way to start as well.  You can either donate it all just to get it out of the house and be done quickly or you can try to sell some of the bigger items/collectables etc. on Craig's list, ebay, local facebook page, etc.

[SamanthaCarter]

For a massive decluttering, maybe plan a future date which you will devote to purging the place where you store extra stuff (attic/garage/basement). Then between now and then, purge the house, room by room, so that all of the rooms have been combed through by the time the big storage purging comes around. That will buy you some time for the things you're not quite sure whether to keep or toss. If you store it, you'll revisit it later. 

[KungFuPanda]

Cultivate a disdain for shopping and stuff. I save a lot of money just because I hate to shop and I don't want to find a place for stuff. When clothes shopping, hit the thrift stores first. They have stuff with tags there! They have barely used stuff there. You can put a real dent in your clothing budget by staying out of the mall. Eating at home saves a ton of money. Always have an easy, emergency meal on hand so you won't be tempted by take-out. Learn to cook instead of buying prepared stuff . . . stay on the outside of the store (except the baking aisle). Turn down your thermostat and consolidate driving trips.

[La Condessa]

The frugal mindset is "I want that" does not equal "I am considering buying that". When I see something I like/want, I don't go through a checklist to determine whether I should buy it. If it's not on the mental list of items I have predetermined we need, it doesn't even occur to me to buy it.

[IfIOnly]

I spent 100 hours this summer decluttering the attic and main part of the house. I didn't clear out the basement or shed as I'll need lots of DH's input in those areas.

 

I found that after spending 100 hours in the hot attic or going through all the closets and drawers mercilessly getting rid of about 40% of what we own (not counting furniture) there's no way I want to bring in more stuff.

 

Perhaps the place for you to start is to do some serious decluttering. For the first time ever, every single item in my home has a purpose and a place to be stored. Cleaning is so easy. Perhaps if you put in the time to look over every item you own and got rid of 40% of it, you wouldn't be so fast to bring more in. That's what's happened to me. I remember the work of hauling all that stuff out of the house. No way am I ready to bring more in just to have to haul it back out in a few years.

 

Here are some examples. I have 4 people in my house, so I kept only 8 bath towels. We use them a few times between washing. No one needs more than 2 a week. Before I decluttered, I had a good 20 bath towels, but most of them were getting old and holey. I took them to a local animal shelter.

 

I kept 10 kitchen towels and washrags. I use a new one each day so that gives me 10 days before I run out. I could possibly get by with 7, but sometimes I just don't have enough laundry in the basket.

 

I bought the boys clothing. 2 jeans, 1 sweat, 1 church pant. 3 church shirts, 7 casual shirts. 1 boots, 1 sneakers, and 1 nice shoes but only for the boy who likes nice shoes. The other is happy with sneakers at church. Total of 4 pants and 10 shirts and 2 shoes each for the entire winter. Their drawers aren't piled high with clothes. It's easy to put everything away. Everything can be matched with everything else.

 

Basically, I got rid of anything that was extra. Even if I could have "used it one day." Remember, I was merciless in my decluttering. All the stuff was sucking the life out of me. I'd rather have fun buying something I need later than having to wade through all this stuff that I might "use some day." If I need it some day (and I might not), I'll worry about it on that day and buy it then.

 

Now that my house is clear and it's easy to clean, I don't want new things at all. I look at items and think, "Oh, how adorable!" but then go through the list others have mentioned (where will I put it, what will I have to remove, etc,) and I find myself content to admire the object in the store and then leave it there.

 

Oh, I love how you thought out in numbers clothing needs! Paring down everyone's clothes has made my life so much simpler. My kids do sneakers and jeans for church, so we can get away with less. If a wedding or something fancy comes up then I'm scrambling though.  :)

[cave canem]

 Plus, I've trained my kids to clean, so in about a half hour or so the house is sparkling again. But that's 'nother post. :)

That's the post I want to see!

[Carolinagirl1]

I am naturally frugal. Spending money makes me feel guilty. I feel much better saving money and watching it grow. In the back of my mind, I am always worried that there will come a day when I will need it, so I stash money away and don't bother it. When I want something, for instance - a blender - I will save and research it to death before I buy and then I will buy the best I can find - a Vitamix, for instance. If I'm going to spend money, I get the best quality I can find so I won't have to toss it and buy another any time soon. For clothing, I mostly wear classics or just t-shirts and blue jeans, so my wardrobe is limited. I have only what I need. Any time I have had debt, I've paid as much as I can on my bills to get them paid off quicker. For me, it is just the way I am - I feel guilty spending money.

[fairfarmhand]

Stop. 

 

Wait until you've thought it through before buying.

 

Use cash for many purchases.

 

Think in terms of how much you REALLY need. If you don't need a particular thing, stay out of stores. Don't buy groceries in places like Walmart if you can. Just browsing the clearance aisles can add $$$ to the budget.

 

We keep Amazon wishlists of stuff we'd like. Sometimes we go back and purge them because we've decided we don't need it. We send relatives to the wishlist to buy for birthdays and Christmas.

 

If Amazon is a trip up for you, put stuff in the shopping cart and wait 1 week before you click buy.

[Scarlett]

Your 13 year old needs more winter clothing.

 

Frugal: look at the existing clothing and determine what else is needed. Jeans, size xx, 1 pair, Dockers/dress pants, size xx, navy, etc. Then go buy just those items.

 

Not-frugal: go to store, shirts are on sale. Buy five. Get home and realize that child has plenty of shirts but needs pants and socks. Make second trip to store to get those items, also buy more shirts because they are still on sale and you aren’t sure that the ones at home will match the new pants.

Yes. This. My ds14 needed new winter clothes. But he is still growing so fast I really limit what I buy. So I took him shopping specifically for 2 pairs of jeans and 4 shirts ( 2 t shirts, 2 long sleeved all coordinating so they could be layered and mixed and matched.) I think I did end up buying 3 pairs of jeans because the sale was really good....but basically I just stick to a plan.

[Scarlett]

Don't go to the store---that's my magical secret. The less I go to the store, the less stuff I buy, the less stuff comes into my house. I go to the grocery store once a week. Other than that, I try to avoid shopping unless there is something specific needed. This past week was heavier than usual. Dh needed a new winter coat, cats needed food and litter, and dd needed dance shorts (a specific request from her instructor).

 

Aside from that, dh and I both have rarely used pay as you go cell phones and no cable TV. One happy outcome that's come from the no cable is the kids want less stuff for Christmas because they aren't seeing commercials on Nickelodeon or Disney telling them what they should want.

I agree staying out of stores is a secret. A friend of mine who is as frugal as me asked me to go shopping with her the other day. We went to the mall. We both were in desperate need of clothes...I literaly wore my patched jeans to buy new jeans.

 

I have to take a friend shopping or I won't buy anything. I will try on clothes and talk myself out of buying. It almost makes me sick....I wish I could relax just a little.

[Jane in NC]

This is a case where YMMV.  Using credit cards instead of cash can be beneficial for some of us. I do not spend any more, but earn some sort of perk (cash back, airline miles, etc.)

 

But obviously a consumer needs to understand if the use of cash or a card will affect her spending.

[regentrude]

This is a case where YMMV.  Using credit cards instead of cash can be beneficial for some of us. I do not spend any more, but earn some sort of perk (cash back, airline miles, etc.)

 

But obviously a consumer needs to understand if the use of cash or a card will affect her spending.

 

This. We pay absolutely everything we can with our credit card which we pay off every month.

This creates a comprehensive record of all our spending, plus gives us airline miles which we can use to fly for free :-)

Financially, it is more sensible than paying cash (assuming one has enough self control).

And it is great for our credit score.