S/O of S/O of define frumpy

[Joyofsixreboot]

So those of you who report being dressed frumpily ( is that a word?) why? Just comfortable for the weekend? Feeling sick or working out? Don't care? I buy most of my clothes second hand or deep discount and still do not dress in a frumpy way. No mom jeans or shapeless potato sacks. I seriously wonder when I see someone who has on say a poorly fitting t-shirt and baggy jeans and horrible white athletic shoes why he/she picked that outfit. Better jeans, a fitted tee and flats or sandals are just as easy. Inquiring minds want to know.

[HSmomof2]

I'm not always frumpy, but currently most of my non frumpy clothes do not fit. I don't want to spend money on larger clothes and am working on losing weight. So, my yoga pants collection is what I'm in most days, unless I'm working or at church.

[Trish]

So those of you who report being dressed frumpily ( is that a word?) why? Just comfortable for the weekend? Feeling sick or working out? Don't care? I but most of my clothes second hand or deep discount and still do not dress in a frumpy way. No mom jeans or shapeless potato sacks. I seriously wonder when I see someone who has on say a poorly fitting t-shirt and baggy jeans and horrible white athletic shoes why he/she picked that outfit. Better jeans a fitted tee and flats or sandals are just as easy. Inquiring minds want to know.

 

My white athletic shoes are HORRIBLE? They go with everything! Almost.

 

My DH wears white ones too.

 

Everyone must think we're a frumpy couple!

 

It's okay, I clean up real nice.

 

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Because I don't know how to dress my current shape so I wear what's currently comfortable.

[Jenny in Florida]

Because I am fat and not especially attractive even when I'm not. So, there is utterly no point expending one iota of effort or money to look anything other than frumpy. I might as well be comfortable.

 

I mean, I'm clean and wearing a bra and my hair is brushed and pinned up fairly neatly. When I leave the house, I do try to make sure that my clothing doesn't have holes or stains, but the most I'm ever going to achieve is "not embarrassing." To me, frumpy isn't embarrassing, just who I am.

[unsinkable]

My white athletic shoes are HORRIBLE? They go with everything! Almost.

 

My DH wears white ones too.

 

Everyone must think we're a frumpy couple!

 

It's okay, I clean up real nice.

 

I don't think they are horrible. I do wear "sneakers" but I don't wear white or mostly white because my feet are so big and I think white sneakers make my feet look even bigger.

[Farrar]

I don't think of myself as frumpy, but I started to after reading that thread...  Hm.

[SproutMamaK]

I dress frumpy unless I'm going out of the house, simply because it's more comfortable.

[Changed]

Comfort. Not caring. Trying to hide fat. Hate shopping.

[unsinkable]

Comfort. Not caring. Trying to hide fat. Hate shopping.

Yep. Yep. Oh-so-yep. Very yep.

[elegantlion]

I hate jeans, and today I rearranged furniture, so frumpy it is. Shoes are rarely worn in the house. My favorite fitted T-shirt is my Batman one. Yesterday was yard work so I had black workout pants with a navy tank (the clashing darks) highlighted by a hot pink exercise bra. I wore white tennis that have grass stains. It's my weekend to be klassy with a k, hey, I've been very productive otherwise.

[Farrar]

But who doesn't try to hide fat?  Skinny little celebrities try to hide their fat!  Most of America is trying to hide its fat.  Are we ALL frumpy?

[Joyofsixreboot]

Because I am fat and not especially attractive even when I'm not. So, there is utterly no point expending one iota of effort or money to look anything other than frumpy. I might as well be comfortable.

 

I mean, I'm clean and wearing a bra and my hair is brushed and pinned up fairly neatly. When I leave the house, I do try to make sure that my clothing doesn't have holes or stains, but the most I'm ever going to achieve is "not embarrassing." To me, frumpy isn't embarrassing, just who I am.

Well, I'm not particularly attractive either but I feel I'm like a package. Even if great stuff is crammed in that lumpy bag I'm going to check out the package with a bow first. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of cut up tees and cut off shorts I work on the lawn in and yoga pants for comfy days at home but don't understand not feeling a little pretty. I intellectually get I'm a 51 yo mother of 7 with way curly hair but in my head I'm a polyvore style page.

[retiredHSmom]

Two summers ago I would have been frumpy, today I am not.  I dressed that way because I wasn't happy with my body, didn't feel like I had the money to spend on nicer clothes and really didn't even know where to shop.  I had five or six pairs of solid color shorts from old navy and a bunch of solid colored v neck t-shirts from old navy, most of my shirts were stretched out and many had small stains on them.  One weekend we were out shopping for a new watch for my husband and he pointed out that it just looked weird for us to be looking at very expensive watches in nice jewelry stores with me dressed like that.

 

I decided that it was time to do better.  So I went shopping, after a long miserable day I had exactly 2 new skirts I liked and no shorts.  I was miserable but m husband loved then new skirts and commented on how nice I looked.  So did everyone else.  I went out on a second trip and once again found no shorts.  

 

The problem is that I have a huge apron flap of skin from pregnancy.  So I have to buy shorts about 2 sizes larger than I would really need and then they are baggy in the behind and legs.  I also have no behind at all.  Skirts hide all that.  I finally realized that I look better and am more comfortable in skirts and dresses and when I realized that shopping became fun.

 

 I also buy a lot of clothes online.  I buy way more than I will ever keep ad try them on in the comfort of my home and then return what I don't want.  I do a lot of clearance shopping too. That means that I may peruse the websites on a daily basis and buy a lot of items. I only keep what I love. Those two tricks have made all the difference in the world.  I have a nice wardrobe that I feel great wearing.  I do have three pairs of shorts but they are definitely not my favorite thing to wear.

[trulycrabby]

I am rather thin but still manage to be frumpy. :o

[Jenny in Florida]

I intellectually get I'm a 51 yo mother of 7 with way curly hair but in my head I'm a polyvore style page.

 

That may be the difference. Even when I was significantly younger and at my most attractive, I always felt frumpy. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am frumpy because I am an apple.  There are very few styles of clothing that really look good on this body shape, in my opinion.  I also don't really care as long as I'm clean and am fairly neat.  I have enough discomfort in my life and don't want to suffer for fashion.  

[bolt.]

It takes effort and something of an "eye" to do fashion well.

 

Sure, people with an "eye" report their easy way of finding inexpensive stylish pieces that are comfy too... But that's like an athlete that thinks ice skating is as easy as walking: to her it is, but to many people it's not.

 

I do like to look nice, bug it's not going to rise up my ladder of priorities very quickly. I'm good with "not embarrassing" as a daily goal.

 

When I buy clothes, I vasilate: do I want to go to the time and trouble if shopping well, or do I just want to cover myself in a cheap, easy way and be done with it?

 

I also fear failure. If you try to get good stuff, spend time, spend money, and think you've rocked something... But then, say you see a photo, or someone mentions it, or your tastes change, and you look back and say, "How dumb was that? What was I thinking?" -- You tend to want to make safe choices for a whole.

 

And footwear is a whole 'nother major connundrum. I won't make my feet sore for any reason less important (or longer in duration) than date night or a special function, and I can't bring myself to top $70 for a pair of shoes. I end up in runners most of the time. If I could solve it, I would.

[forty-two]

I used to be frumpy and now I at least try not to be frumpy (no idea if I *succeed* but at least I try ;)). My frumpiest stages were a combo of not caring, not knowing what to do if I had decided to care, and body image issues. The worst one added on being overweight and depressed to the mix - I had no energy to care even if I'd wanted to.

 

As I lost the weight, came out of the depression, and became more confident about my body, I started to care more. It's been a matter of baby steps, and my standards are low - jeans and a cami, where both fit well, is my dressing to go out :lol: - but hey, I *try* now (and it's an improvement on baby jeans and stretched out camis, and the decidedly frumpy denim skirt I wore when I was overweight and hated how pants looked on me). And I do think my clothes fit and flatter me, even if they aren't anything special style-wise. (Hair wise I wear a giant bun, which I put up nicely each morning (in not-caring days I threw it up without bothering to comb it) - people complement me, so I think it works for me even if its not "in style" ;).).

 

Possibly I doth protest too much :lol:. The caring is still a work in progress ;).

[Pawz4me]

Clean and neat I care about. I don't really understand caring about frumpiness. I care more about my own comfort and convenience than what anyone else thinks about whether my shirt is fitted enough or too loose.

[Wheres Toto]

Well, right now I'm wearing a loose old t-shirt of dh's, and a pair of sweat pants because it's what I'm going to wear to bed.

 

I would say I'm definitely leaning toward frumpy on the weekends.  I wore almost knee-length blue jean shorts with the rolled up hem, and a sleeveless polo shirt out to the lake today because they fit on over my bathing suit.  I think the polo might have had a spot on it because it was in my drawer not in my closet with work clothes.  I didn't intend to keep it on the whole time because I thought I'd be swimming.  Instead I ended up meeting a bunch of new people and hanging out on the beach.  Whoops. 

 

Jeans, jean shorts, or sweats with logo t-shirts (my new Pink Floyd is one of my favorites) is my usual weekend wardrobe except for church.  Black slides in the summer, Uggs in the winter, grey/blue/pink high top sneakers (that I've had at least 5 years) if I'm doing a lot of walking or it's raining/too cold or wrong time of year for slides/too warm or wrong time of year for Uggs.

 

Church is skirts, usually mid-calf length slightly bohemian style with solid colored t-shirts and cardigans.  To work I wear jeans (black or dark blue, no rips, no stains), the same solid colored t-shirts and cardigan usually. Some of the cardigans are baggy, sometimes I wear my really old black Eddie Bauer slides that I also wear to the beach and everywhere else all summer (they are closed toe) but I also keep two pairs of flats - black and brown - in a drawer in my desk to wear.  I also have a pair of white sneakers that I leave at work to wear when I walk at lunchtime.

 

My hair is long layers and bangs that I wear pulled back in a ponytail 90% of the time because it frizzes awfully, and to keep it out of my way.   I can't have short hair because it would be sticking out every which way without a lot of time and product put into it and I accepted a long time ago that it's just not going to happen.

 

I think I fit most of the definitions of frumpy in the other thread  :lol:

 

Reasons:  I'm fat but very oddly shaped - small boobs, large waist/hips/thighs.  It's very hard to find fitted clothes that will fit in all areas and I can't afford to have things custom made.  

Comfort - I find non-fussy clothes much more comfortable.  I don't want to spend all day tucking a shirt back in, pulling it down or adjusting a skirt whenever I stand up.  Sneakers are much more comfortable than even flats, IMO/IME.

 

I have recently started wearing better bras and it does help me look less blobby.  I'm not sure about less frumpy.

 

[OneStepAtATime]

I do not usually like the feel of anything but soft cotton, although sometimes a blend isn't bad.  I just have always preferred cotton t-shirts, blue jeans and tennis shoes or sandles.  Nice blouses and dresses etc. tend to get ruined when you spontaneously climb a tree or jump in the mud, etc.  I hated having to worry about ruining my clothes so if the material stains easily or tears easily or has to be washed in cold to keep from shrinking, etc. I just won't wear it on a daily basis.

[Χά�ων]

I do not care. 

 

But.

After I had DS I got really sick and gained a lot of weight. My dressy work clothes no longer fit and are a decade+ out of style. 

Now I am losing weight and everything is baggy on me. Since the weight loss is continuing I am not going to invest in nicer or new clothing until the weight loss slows. And if my weight loss continues until I reach my ideal weight I will just wear DS's current clothes. He is a giant.

 

[Jenny in Florida]

 Nice blouses and dresses etc. tend to get ruined when you spontaneously climb a tree or jump in the mud, etc.  I hated having to worry about ruining my clothes so if the material stains easily or tears easily or has to be washed in cold to keep from shrinking, etc. I just won't wear it on a daily basis.

 

And, see, I wonder about this kind of thing, too. My days of climbing trees and jumping in mud are pretty much over. However, my days involve doing dishes (which I can't seem to manage without splashing myself) and wiping counters (sometimes with bleach, which I also always manage to splash onto my shirt), cooking, cleaning up after three pets, etc. I drive my son around town with a dog sitting on my lap. Sometimes, when I have to wait for him at his dance studio for a couple of hours, the dog and I decide to go for a walk in the park, which is a whole lot more comfortable when I'm wearing my comfy shorts and a t-shirt than it is in a cute outfit I have to worry about sweating in.

 

It is very, very rare that I get to the end of a day (or even the middle of the afternoon) without slopping something on myself, which doesn't matter a lot if I can just toss the floppy t-shirt in the hamper and grab another. 

[Caroline]

I don't think of myself as frumpy, but I started to after reading that thread... Hm.

Me, too.

[mirth]

 I firmly believe that those featured in People of Walmart are the unfortunate patients of some kind of cut rate, fly-by-night cognitive behavorial therapy for Dorian Gray Syndrome.

[Tohru]

So those of you who report being dressed frumpily ( is that a word?) why? Just comfortable for the weekend? Feeling sick or working out? Don't care? I buy most of my clothes second hand or deep discount and still do not dress in a frumpy way. No mom jeans or shapeless potato sacks. I seriously wonder when I see someone who has on say a poorly fitting t-shirt and baggy jeans and horrible white athletic shoes why he/she picked that outfit. Better jeans, a fitted tee and flats or sandals are just as easy. Inquiring minds want to know.

 

It never crosses your mind that they simply can not afford any more/better clothes?  Seriously.  Maybe you can afford to shop at thrift stores, but some people are so broke or poor that they rely on church handouts to dress themselves and their family. 

 

Rather than judging another's physical appearance, perhaps it would be better to find compassion.

 

[momacacia]

I think I'm only a little frumpy sometimes. I'd buy better, more expensive clothes if I were thinner but it would also then have to take the time/energy to shop (and I hate shopping). The shopping would usually be in the evening without the kids when I am usually tired and fried from the day. And weekends I like to spend with the family all together.

 

I know that people who have great wardrobes spend a good deal of time shopping. It's not where I want to put my time right now.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I dress frumpy unless I'm going out of the house, simply because it's more comfortable.

 

This.  And because for the past few years, I've been over the highest weight that I can stand for myself.

[8circles]

Because I am fat and not especially attractive even when I'm not. So, there is utterly no point expending one iota of effort or money to look anything other than frumpy. I might as well be comfortable.

 

I mean, I'm clean and wearing a bra and my hair is brushed and pinned up fairly neatly. When I leave the house, I do try to make sure that my clothing doesn't have holes or stains, but the most I'm ever going to achieve is "not embarrassing." To me, frumpy isn't embarrassing, just who I am.

 

Forgive me if I'm overstepping, Jenny.  But i makes me sad to hear you say these things about yourself.  I know you've said you are OK with not being pretty but I feel sad to hear it.  You are one of the most beautiful posters on this board and I have no doubt that that inner beauty shows through on your outside.  

[SKL]

I like the way jeans feel, but only if they are not tight.  I HATE tight fitting clothes.  They mess with my circulation and ruin my day.

 

I like to cover up.  OK for my face and 3/4 of my arms to show, but that's all I care to share.  I also like life to be simple and carefree.  What could be easier to wear than loose-fitting cotton T-shirt?

 

I do not want to wear anything that would attract attention.  When I go out I don't want to be noticed.  I want to get some fresh air and sunshine and exercise, but other than that I want to be alone or focus on my kids most of the time.

 

I have fat feet that get sore easily.  I have to be very careful about what shoes I buy.  Often the only walking shoes that work for me are white.  Too bad if some people don't like it.

 

I don't understand why some people give a rat's arse what other people are wearing.  I mean, unless I'm attending your wedding, why do you care?  I manage to ignore people who wear low necklines and shorty shorts over chubby thighs and lots of other things that I could question if I was so inclined.

 

Thing is, I'm dressing for me, not for anyone else.  If an occasion calls for me to dress for someone else, then I rise to the occasion.

[Reefgazer]

Some days I'm frumpy, some days I'm not; it's random.  I wear what's comfortable and my level of frumpiness/non-frumpiness isn't where I choose to spend my energy, time, or money.  There are more important things in life.

[Kathryn]

Because I care way more about comfort and being cheap than what others think about my wardrobe for everyday wear. I'm a jeans, t-shirt, and athletic shoes or flip flops girl. My t-shirts are stretched out and probably stained and/or faded. I'm okay with that.

[City Mouse]

I spent almost twenty years working in jobs where I had to get "dressed up" every day. I absolutely love that I work from home now and can wear pjs if I want to. I do usually put on Jeans and a t shirt most days.

I have bad feet and really have to wear athletic shoes with my inserts or my feet will hurt big time.

[Guest]

But who doesn't try to hide fat? Skinny little celebrities try to hide their fat! Most of America is trying to hide its fat. Are we ALL frumpy?

No. I am at this moment wearing a great, non-frumpy top that nevertheless, hides (a bit of) fat. There are fabrics that cling to every roll. Those do favors for nobody at all.

[Lieutenant Stranger]

Because I am fat and not especially attractive even when I'm not. So, there is utterly no point expending one iota of effort or money to look anything other than frumpy. I might as well be comfortable.

 

 

 

Awww, this makes me sad! You've got to be your own biggest cheering section. We all have good + bad points-- you just have to focus on the good ones!

[elegantlion]

Honestly, I spent years with a horrible body image. I still don't like the parts of my body that will never change (length of my legs and arms, giant surgical scar that obliterated my once flat abs), but I've become more accepting of who I am. Dressing up doesn't enhance that. I'm generally not a slouch when I leave the house, but live in an area that is fairly casual. I can wear capris and go to the store without shaving my legs and not feel badly. 

 

I'm more concerned with the fit of a garment than the fashion consideration of it. I have a style (not frumpy) that I can pull off without too much effort, that's me. I spent years wearing office dress attire for a job, then business casual, before that it was white scrubs for a job. I also spent another few years wearing black for a volunteer position that required that dress code. For the last few years, it's been me-dress-code time. This fall I'll start my second year of college, my first year on campus. I'm 47 and need those sensible shoes for walking. I found a pair of stylish boots that are better. I don't want to look 47 as I walk around the campus. I'm not going to be wearing sweats with "Go Griffs" on the butt either. This summer is about comfort. 

 

I've also downsized my wardrobe considerably, so what's left is what I love and fits well, less angst about getting dressed. Comfort was the top reason to keep something. 

 

 

[maize]

Clothes don't interest me, fashion doesn't interest me, if the clothes are decently clean I figure I'm good to go.

 

Shrug.

 

I don't pay much attention to clothes on other people either, though I would probably notice if they wore none...

[Joker]

I just don't care. Seriously. I dress for comfort. I am happy and so is dh so I don't get why anyone else would care. Sometimes I'm sure I am frumpy and others maybe not but I'm not dressing to make the general public feel okay about my appearance.

[Serenade]

I don't understand why some people give a rat's arse what other people are wearing.  I mean, unless I'm attending your wedding, why do you care?  I manage to ignore people who wear low necklines and shorty shorts over chubby thighs and lots of other things that I could question if I was so inclined.

Especially like

[Just Another Jen]

Well, today I drove from Waco to San Antonio after spending two nights in hotels in order to attend my son's college freshman orientation, then arrived back home to a house that is under extreme renovation, only to rush back to our camper to throw together both my son's birthday party and father's day celebration before watching the Spurs take the NBA championship. I've been a bit too preoccupied with life today to worry about my appearance.

 

 

In the past I was way to busy to worry about what I looked like. Its a luxury- really. Also living out in the sticks I wouldn't see anyone besides family except at the store or Church. So I wore tshirts, shorts, jeans, sweats. Since last Fall I've been trying to dress better. I still dress down at home cause its what I'm used too. I have bought new clothes and look fairly good I think- except now that I have the time to dress better I don't like how I look. I wish I hadn't wasted all those skinny me years hiding nothing behind long sweatshirts. Now I have a big belly flap that is never going away. Sigh. 

[Belacqua]

I think the potentially frumpy can be saved by even the tiniest detail. I saw a woman at the library wearing what might be considered a frumpy outfit (mid-calf denim skirt, loose-fitting t-shirt, unstyled hair), but she also wore the most marvelous, bright green combat boots. Completely changed her look.

[SKL]

I'm old enough to be a great-grandmother.  I'm content that I still have my original hair and can shop in the Ladies (not Plus) section.  I'm also thrilled that I can still go out for walks on these tired feet.  That's good enough for me.

 

Another thing to consider is that some of us have sensory issues and it really is uncomfortable to wear certain fabrics, textures, styles, even if other people feel comfortable in them.

[NASDAQ]

It's weird to think that someone is looking at my shoes and wondering why I'm wearing them. I honestly do not remember the last time I noticed someone else's shoes, at least, the shoes of a person I didn't birth.

[Guest]

Umm why are white athletic shoes bad??? I guess I must be frumpy. But then I have no fashion sense and really don't care. I buy what I like and it is mostly for comfort. Why wear those sandals or cute shoes when they make my feet hurt??? Forget it. And what is cute? Depends on whom you ask. I much prefer to buy what I like or my husband likes. I could care less about anyone else.. I have no idea if I am frumpy or not and I don't care. I mostly wear my tennis shoes because they are comfortable.

White sneaks are not usually great-looking. Of course, if you don't care then - there you go. I have sandals and cute shoes that do not hurt my feet. I definitely do not think it looks cute when a woman is hobbling around with a grimace because her shoes, while pretty, hurt her feet. I choose shoes (and clothing) based on what I like, but white athletic shoes are not them.

[Soror]

I'm totally not a fashion expert but I think I look reasonably nice. I do not however dress in uncomfortable clothes at home or when out. At home I wear whatever as I prefer not to ruin nice clothes between the kids, cooking, cleaning, and outside work I often get messy. Out and about I generally wear jeans that fit me decently and a fitted shirt, usually with some kind of flats. I nearly always wear cotton. I live in a fairly casual area so the standard is less here. I sometimes like to wear skirts and often feel too dressed up when I do, although I do anyway as I like feeling nice. Perhaps the real fashionistas feel I look terrible but meh I have my own style I love and it isn't always what everyone likes, I go more by how well it fits me and can be either modern, retros-50ish, or bohemian. These days I'm limited as I only have a few basic clothes that fit as I gained some weight but when I lose weight I'm stocking the closet again!

[regentrude]

I have to dress up for work five days a week because I stand in front of 100+ people who are actually looking at me.

So yes, when I get to change out of my work clothes, I wear mom jeans, lose shirts, comfortable shoes, or lose dresses in the summer.

I can not stand tight fitting pants and hate pants that sit at the hip because they tend to slide whenever I bend - jeans that sit at the waist stay put and are comfortable. I dislike the feeling of tight fitting clothes.  I have a foot condition and have to wear orthotics as much as possible, so it's athletic shoes or hiking shoes for me as soon as I get out of the dressy shoes I wear for work which are bad for my feet and cause pain.

I do not care one little bit that you consider me frumpy. At mid-fourties, I am old enough that being comfortable and pain free trumps looking fashionable for random strangers.

Btw, I do not dress to "hide fat". I am not overweight and am reasonably athletic, so my frumpy looks rather good in comparison.

[SKL]

I think the potentially frumpy can be saved by even the tiniest detail. I saw a woman at the library wearing what might be considered a frumpy outfit (mid-calf denim skirt, loose-fitting t-shirt, unstyled hair), but she also wore the most marvelous, bright green combat boots. Completely changed her look.

 

So in the opinion of some people, white athletic shoes are ugly but bright green combat boots are marvelous.

 

To each her own, but I would not be caught in bright green combat boots under any circumstances.

 

I'm sorry my white shoes offend many of you.  I never realized it before but ya know what, I'm not going to toss the shoes.  I'm going to keep wearing them until they are worn out, as originally planned, but now I will wonder who is looking at them in disdain.

[Jenny in Florida]

Awww, this makes me sad! You've got to be your own biggest cheering section. We all have good + bad points-- you just have to focus on the good ones!

 

But . . . why?

 

Only people who are competing need a cheering section, and my life is not a competition.

 

Realistically, no, I don't have any particularly "good points" physically. There is not one of my features worthy of focusing on or emphasizing. So, I choose to dress down in hopes of being ignored.

[MercyA]

 I firmly believe that those featured in People of Walmart are the unfortunate patients of some kind of cut rate, fly-by-night cognitive behavorial therapy for Dorian Gray Syndrome.

 

It's incredibly unkind to mock people's appearance.  I'm not easily offended, but that website is just cruel.