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retiredHSmom

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About retiredHSmom

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    on to the next adventure
  • Birthday 11/27/1971

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    Virginia

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  1. I am a high school classroom teacher with a student with an IEP for OCD and a mom of a kid with several OCD. My student has 50% extended time and the freedom to go to her counselor's office whenever needed. As a mother of a child with severe OCD, there have been a few times when I could tell that my student was struggling with on OCD obsession but she has never requested to leave and never used her extended time. As a mother I would say that as you lean what your daughters obsession/compulsions are you will be able to decide what accommodations she might need. My daughter was never affected academically by her OCD. Looking back she began exhibiting signs of OCD around age 7, she was homeschooled k-8th grade, went to college after 8th grade, graduated from college at 18, began a math Phd at 19, was diagnosed with OCD at 20, left the math Phd at 20 and began a special ed masters graduated with her masters at 21, and now teaches adapted curriculum in a high school. She is currently 23. Her OCD manifests primarily as contamination OCD but with food rather than germs as the contaminant. She obsesses that her hands that she has washed many times have food particles on them still and that they will rub her eyes and get them in her eye and something horrible will happen. She cannot stand to be touched with "dirty" hands. She also deals with obsessions about "evenness" One shoe is tied tighter than the other, someone touched one arm but didn't touch the other... She has a lower level of scrupulosity, and a lower level of "harm" OCD. (obsession that she may accidentally hurt/kill someone or herself. The gold standard of treatment is ERP, basically doing the thing that you are afraid to do and avoid the compulsion to "fix or undo it" until your brain realizes that nothing horrible will happen. She was absolutely incapable of ERP until we found a med combination that lowered her OCD obessions/compulsons to a level that allowed her to fight back. as a result of her food related OCD she has had 4 relapses of anorexia, but her meds and then ERP have changed so much. She is very successfully employed, has great friends and is engaged to be married. Most people will never know that she has OCD, her friends know and are used to her little oddities, her fiancé is amazing with her. Last week they went on a hike and she was stressed about a work situation so her OCD was on high alert. She stopped 4 times in about 1/4 mile to retie her shoes so they were even. He finally stopped and said "If I tie them, they can't be uneven" and knelt down to tie her shoes. She said they were still uneven but she could handle it and had a great hike. A lot of words to say that she may need accommodations for school and she may not. You will learn a lot in the next few months and that may help you to decide. Good luck, it can be a wild ride but there is hope. Feel free to PM me if you have questions.
  2. My daughter is a working mechanical engineer who graduated from our homeschool with no AP classes. She had DE calculus her senior year in HS. He doesn't need Java or Statistcs to become an engineer. I teach engineering and physics in a Catholic High School. We, as a nation, are killing our kids with stress over college. All of our "do what you love" and "perfect fit" college have them convinced that there is one right (successful) path through life and they are terrified that they are going to mess up and their life will be ruined. Insist that he drop one AP. He needs some time each day to just read a book that he enjoys or watch the sun go down. I taught all three of my children to schedule their time starting in about 6th grade. For about three years I have them a daily schedule that I made each morning. It accounted for every hour of their day including eating meals, helping with dishes, school, ECs and free time. Starting in high school we wrote it together. Then they wrote it and submitted it to me for approval. When my 20 yo son was home from college for christmas break, I gave him a week of free time and then we discussed his plans for the day every morning before I left for work. All of my kids are gifted with no EF issues or LDs. Scaffolding is how they learn life skills.
  3. Good morning. I would like to provide some hope. 14 years ago my nephew was born at 26 weeks 1 day. He was so tiny and delicate. Today he is a high school freshman. He is healthy and neurotypical in every way. It is possible. I will keep praying.
  4. I started using Banktivity (I think it is Mac only) and I really like it. Their sync seems to work really well. The software is not a subscription but the bank connect is.
  5. Absouloutely ask the priest and get a dispensation. I am a conservative Catholic and attend a conservative Catholic parish and received a dispensation for Lenten fasting when I was team eating with my daughter who was in treatment for anorexia.
  6. When you are contagious sick or legitimately cannot get to mass. Not "don't want to" or "its inconvenient" but cannot get there.
  7. Last year I started teaching physics at a local catholic high school as my post-homeschooling career. I made my students write a formal lab report each quarter and in both the 3rd and 4th quarter I received lab reports exactly like this. It wasn't like they were copied and pasted from somewhere but rather like they had been copied and pasted and run through a thesaurus. The words were correct on the surface but the gradiations of meaning were totally wrong. I spent way too much time on the internet searching for a website or program that did this but I couldn't find anything. I went and talked to our English teachers and they didn't have any clue what had happened either but I was sure. And now it looks like I was right.
  8. I would be very concerned that your daughter has anorexia. My daughter has anorexia and is in the middle of recovery from her 3rd relapse. She started off with a very restrictive diet and, yep refused to eat healthy fruits and vegetables because she was afraid she would "binge" on them. She was eating 300 calories max on week days and 500 on weekends. Anorexia causes all these problems. When you stop eating (and 1000 calories a day does not count as eating) your body stops producing the enzymes needed to digest food. When you start again it takes months for these symptoms to disappear. Someone mentioned upthread that recovery eating is 3000+ calories a day. That has been true all three times for us. My daughter reached that threshold in about March and she is still dealing with gas, bloating, water retention and stomach pain after every meal. She usually experiences nausea about 15 minutes after eating when her blood sugar starts to rise. Her blood sugar was so low that she had a seizure and from October until March she started shaking every time her blood sugar dropped which was about every two hours. Gas-x and miralax are our friends. Anorexia is NOT glamorous. These are also symptoms of malnutrition. One year ago this week, I came back from a two week long training class to find that my daughter hadn't eaten anything at all during the week for the last two weeks, she only ate on weekends and the was a max of 300 calories. She had lost 50 ponds. She was freezing all the time and wore a sweater through our humid Virginia summer, her hair was falling out and she took multiple naps a day. We were on relapse number 3. Today she weighs 40 pounds more, she is happy. She is still scared of many foods and situations. She sees her therapist twice a week and her dietician once a week. Get good ones that are known for eating disorders. They won't take insurance, none of the good ones do. I file out of network claims. It is expensive but it is saving my daughter's life. Said gently, find a new doctor. Walk away from the special diet. People with a predisposition to eating disorders cannot eat restrictive diets, especially early in recovery. Excluding any food group gives their brain "permission" to restrict. Your daughter needs to eat carbs, and fat and protein and sugar. She needs to eat 3000+ calories a day and she needs doctors and support staff tat understand that.
  9. My family member currently has four different providers, an EMDR therapist, a psychologist, a dietician and a psychiatrist. All are specialists on their field, very well known and respected in our area and non are listed on psychology today. We found ours by word of mouth.
  10. The EMDR Institute has a "find a clinician" link on their website
  11. Judgemental much? Yep, its all fat peoples' fault for being so stupid. And sugar is not addictive. The study that said it was, yeah they hadn't fed the rats for 12 hours and then gave them a choice of cocaine or sugar. One is non-nutritive. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/aug/25/is-sugar-really-as-addictive-as-cocaine-scientists-row-over-effect-on-body-and-brain https://www.psychiatry.cam.ac.uk/blog/2016/07/21/sugar-addictive-probably-not-say-cambridge-neuroscientists/
  12. There was a consensus on fat in the 80's and 90's and consensus on cholesterol too. I remember hearing on the news, that no one should eat more than one egg a week. We are now beginning to realize that fat isn't so bad and that most people filled the place fats had held with sugar. Eggs are no longer vilified either. I do not believe the "consensus" No food is bad or evil, especially if it is not made in a lab. Food is not moral or immoral.
  13. I second this. A loved one did have a suicide attempt due to unresolved trauma (PTSD), after 2, 12-week sessions of EMDR over the last 18 month I can honestly say that it has saved her life.
  14. This is the only thing that needs to be said on this topic, ever. I live with a loved one who struggles with anorexia and I am so tired of hearing everyone and their brother have an opinion about what anyone eats. I am tired of hearing that 1200-1500 calories a day is reasonable for women. Go read about the Minnesota Starvation Experiments. Food choices are NOT moral choices. Food has no morality. The diet industry is evil and is preying on our insecurities. Follow the money. Free yourself, buy this book.
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