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Everything posted by retiredHSmom

  1. It seems reasonable for the style of gaming that DnD entails. That said, it wouldn't have been compatible with our family life style when our kids were that age. (approx 5 years ago). 2 of my now-young adult children play DnD and they meet weekly for about 4 hours, which would have been a better fit for our family lifestyle when they were younger
  2. I read yesterday that 30% of US military members who are eligible have refused it and the article (CNN) went on to explain that 30% is pretty typical everywhere. I read an CNN article several months ago that 40% of FDNY planned to refuse it. So it may just be human nature
  3. My family is very conversant with trauma and PTSD. One of my daughters has PTSD from an emotionally/sexually abusive relationship. She was tremendously helped by EMDR therapy and her therapist got my SIL in with a tremendous EMDR therapist who isn't actually accepting new clients. So we are all hopeful on that front. My husband and I suggested a private, small wedding and were informed by the groom that wasn't an option. He views a wedding as a community event. A public announcement of his love and commitment to his wife. He has been very active in the planning of the wedding and has info
  4. Maybe what I am not articulating well, is how to make SIL feel better on the day of the wedding? He made the choices he made and they are the right choices (he currently has PTSD from his treatment and has panic attacks when he thinks about his family) but he still misses his family, especially his younger siblings. I'm trying to figure out how to make the absence of one entire side of the wedding party less obvious on the day of the wedding.
  5. Thank You, this is exactly what we have all been feeling. Your guidelines for an invitation are exactly what my FSIL has articulated. The reality is that they will never happen. His mom is the main abuser and the dad is, frankly, a hostage that has given in to the whims of his wife. When son tried to set out very simple boundries is December, "If you begin to yell at me, I will hang up until we can talk calmly". They refused. They lay all blame on my daughter and claim that she is emotionally manipulating their son. They banned her from their home. He hasn't spoken to them since. We do
  6. Do you mean, not even invite the bride's family? We have a great relationship with my FSIL. He actually lives with us. He was a 5th year senior in college when COVID struck and college students had to return home. He is the 4th child out of 11 and his parents literally had no room at home. My daughter had moved out so we had a spare room and he moved in with us. He didn't get an apartment right away because he is Army reservist, he graduated from college in May and then left in July for 5 months of army training. When he got back from training he had 5 months until the wedding. we live
  7. The wedding is in June. Frankly, I am hoping that the EMDR helps enough the he is willing to at least invite his parents to the wedding. I don't hold any particular love for them but I think that they need to be invited if there is any hope of a future relationship. I don't feel like we owe anyone relationship, especially if they abused us, but his father has Parkinson's and he has 6 younger siblings and he may want to be part of their lives some day. For the photos, I think that are just going to focus on the "new family" aspect and not do "the bride with her family" photos. Maybe some
  8. Very long story but my future son-in-law confronted his parents about ongoing emotional abuse around Christmas. He tried to lay out boundries and they flipped out on him, demeaning and belittling him (yet again). Then they went to the priest who was handling the marriage preparation and led him to refuse to marry the couple. FSIL cut ties with them in January, moved parishes and set a new wedding date. He refuses to invite his family to the wedding. I am not surprised and support him in this decision (he keeps having panic attacks when he thinks of dealing with them) He is in therapy and
  9. I work in a catholic high school in that same county (Fairfax county). We have been in the classroom in a hybrid situation (half the students each day) since August. We have 5 teachers that have been teaching remotely with a proctor in the classroom for that whole time. It has worked well. One of the teachers is the art teacher (she has MS). Her proctor was an art teacher in an elementary school and the situation has worked out really well. On of the other teachers is over 65 and teaches physics and engineering. Her proctor has handled all her labs and class projects with the assistance of t
  10. I have done both. I used Navy RIT dye to dye a linen skirt. I feel that is most effective to do it in a pot of simmering water on the stove. The washing machine method didn't get as dark. My washing machine fared just fine. I washed a lot of white towels next and they all came out white.
  11. sometimes I just wear eye shadow primer. Very neutral but looks "made up" somehow.
  12. Yes, long story, but I found an easy solution that worked for me. I love roller coasters and always go on them all. April 2019 I took my physics class to the amusement park and rode them all. Felt great. Went to bed feeling fine. When I woke up in the morning and got up, the world spun so badly that I almost fell and I threw up three times. I was fine as long as I was sitting, standing or laying but getting up from laying was awful. I read that crystals in your inner ear can be dislodged and cause this and a doctor can manipulate them back in to place using exercises. After three
  13. And you deserve a day off.
  14. I did not say that is not contagious; clearly it is, otherwise no one would be sick. However some research seems to indicate that about 80% of all people who are infected don't infect anyone else (https://uofuhealth.utah.edu/newsroom/news/2020/08/household-covid19.php) I was relating my personal experience which is backed up by my further experience in my extended family and at school. My 18 year old nephew tested positive (asymptomatic) in April. He was isolated for 10 days and neither his parents or 3 younger brothers got it from him. Everyone in the family tested negative
  15. I am sorry, I should have made clear that we all isolated immediately and all got tested at 5 days and again at 10 days and no one else ever experienced symptoms or tested positive. I am not assuming that no one else got it.
  16. I say go volunteer. My 23 year old daughter lost sense of small and tested positive. She lives with my 72 year old parents, she cooks for them and socializes with the all the time. Her fiancé lives with us. She and I work in a high school and carpool to work together (without masks). She is a special ed teacher and is with 6 feet of her students all day (masked). No one got it from her. No students, not my parents, not the finance. Not my husband, son or I. If you develop a symptom. stop immediately and get tested.
  17. These apricot chocolate muffins are perfect. Everyone loves them. Printing: Choco-Apricot Muffins - gtslaton - Plan to Eat.pdf
  18. My church is traditional catholic. My daughter likes to say that if the song was written after 1915 we don't sing it. The midnight mass is usually gorgeous. We have a very tall choir loft far from the congragation and have had a schola singing our masses since about June. No one else rings just the school but it is beautiful. Anyway, they will be livestreaming the midnight mass this year an we live in the Washington DC area so the time might even be convenient for you. https://straymonds.org
  19. Hey, in my 20 years of homeschooling, I taught myself something! I searched and found the answer. Olactif I think my daughter will enjoy it!
  20. A few months ago someone mentioned the name of a perfume subscription box. It had larger sample of several small manufacturers/indie-type perfumes. The name of the box was unusual too. I want to get one as a gift but cannot remember the name. Please remind me!
  21. my oldest daughter just bought a caique. He is not weaned yet and can't leave the aviary so she comes to stay at our house snd visit him every weekend. She can take him home the first weekend in August and the after that they will both spend one weekend a month with us.
  22. Thank you all for your thoughts. Unfortunately, my daughter is aware that I hate the idea of her calling her future MIL, mom. She did ask me directly but she knew before she asked, beginning her conversation with "I am so stressed, everyone expects me to call Mrs. H "mom" when we get married but I don't want to and I know that you will hate it" I assured her that while I did hate the idea, that I am an adult and will adapt, I know that her use of the name doesn't detract from our relationship or history. She brought the conversation up with my mom and that lead to the concept of
  23. Well, I married at 20 and called my inlaws by their first names. We didn't live particularly close to either my parents or my inlaws.
  24. My daughter is engaged to be married next June. She is marrying a young man from our homeschool group that she has known since she was nine. We are very happy about the marriage. I invited my future SIL to call me by my first name when he and my daughter started dating in January. He's an adult and I expect to have an adult relationship with him. My daughter recently revealed that his mom expects to be called Mrs. LastName until they are married and then expects my daughter to call her mom. My gut reaction was "hell, no! That's my name. She doesn't deserve that name!" The top
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