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About retiredHSmom

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    on to the next adventure
  • Birthday 11/27/1971

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  1. It seems reasonable for the style of gaming that DnD entails. That said, it wouldn't have been compatible with our family life style when our kids were that age. (approx 5 years ago). 2 of my now-young adult children play DnD and they meet weekly for about 4 hours, which would have been a better fit for our family lifestyle when they were younger
  2. I read yesterday that 30% of US military members who are eligible have refused it and the article (CNN) went on to explain that 30% is pretty typical everywhere. I read an CNN article several months ago that 40% of FDNY planned to refuse it. So it may just be human nature
  3. My family is very conversant with trauma and PTSD. One of my daughters has PTSD from an emotionally/sexually abusive relationship. She was tremendously helped by EMDR therapy and her therapist got my SIL in with a tremendous EMDR therapist who isn't actually accepting new clients. So we are all hopeful on that front. My husband and I suggested a private, small wedding and were informed by the groom that wasn't an option. He views a wedding as a community event. A public announcement of his love and commitment to his wife. He has been very active in the planning of the wedding and has info
  4. Maybe what I am not articulating well, is how to make SIL feel better on the day of the wedding? He made the choices he made and they are the right choices (he currently has PTSD from his treatment and has panic attacks when he thinks about his family) but he still misses his family, especially his younger siblings. I'm trying to figure out how to make the absence of one entire side of the wedding party less obvious on the day of the wedding.
  5. Thank You, this is exactly what we have all been feeling. Your guidelines for an invitation are exactly what my FSIL has articulated. The reality is that they will never happen. His mom is the main abuser and the dad is, frankly, a hostage that has given in to the whims of his wife. When son tried to set out very simple boundries is December, "If you begin to yell at me, I will hang up until we can talk calmly". They refused. They lay all blame on my daughter and claim that she is emotionally manipulating their son. They banned her from their home. He hasn't spoken to them since. We do
  6. Do you mean, not even invite the bride's family? We have a great relationship with my FSIL. He actually lives with us. He was a 5th year senior in college when COVID struck and college students had to return home. He is the 4th child out of 11 and his parents literally had no room at home. My daughter had moved out so we had a spare room and he moved in with us. He didn't get an apartment right away because he is Army reservist, he graduated from college in May and then left in July for 5 months of army training. When he got back from training he had 5 months until the wedding. we live
  7. The wedding is in June. Frankly, I am hoping that the EMDR helps enough the he is willing to at least invite his parents to the wedding. I don't hold any particular love for them but I think that they need to be invited if there is any hope of a future relationship. I don't feel like we owe anyone relationship, especially if they abused us, but his father has Parkinson's and he has 6 younger siblings and he may want to be part of their lives some day. For the photos, I think that are just going to focus on the "new family" aspect and not do "the bride with her family" photos. Maybe some
  8. Very long story but my future son-in-law confronted his parents about ongoing emotional abuse around Christmas. He tried to lay out boundries and they flipped out on him, demeaning and belittling him (yet again). Then they went to the priest who was handling the marriage preparation and led him to refuse to marry the couple. FSIL cut ties with them in January, moved parishes and set a new wedding date. He refuses to invite his family to the wedding. I am not surprised and support him in this decision (he keeps having panic attacks when he thinks of dealing with them) He is in therapy and
  9. I work in a catholic high school in that same county (Fairfax county). We have been in the classroom in a hybrid situation (half the students each day) since August. We have 5 teachers that have been teaching remotely with a proctor in the classroom for that whole time. It has worked well. One of the teachers is the art teacher (she has MS). Her proctor was an art teacher in an elementary school and the situation has worked out really well. On of the other teachers is over 65 and teaches physics and engineering. Her proctor has handled all her labs and class projects with the assistance of t
  10. I have done both. I used Navy RIT dye to dye a linen skirt. I feel that is most effective to do it in a pot of simmering water on the stove. The washing machine method didn't get as dark. My washing machine fared just fine. I washed a lot of white towels next and they all came out white.
  11. sometimes I just wear eye shadow primer. Very neutral but looks "made up" somehow.
  12. Yes, long story, but I found an easy solution that worked for me. I love roller coasters and always go on them all. April 2019 I took my physics class to the amusement park and rode them all. Felt great. Went to bed feeling fine. When I woke up in the morning and got up, the world spun so badly that I almost fell and I threw up three times. I was fine as long as I was sitting, standing or laying but getting up from laying was awful. I read that crystals in your inner ear can be dislodged and cause this and a doctor can manipulate them back in to place using exercises. After three
  13. And you deserve a day off.
  14. I did not say that is not contagious; clearly it is, otherwise no one would be sick. However some research seems to indicate that about 80% of all people who are infected don't infect anyone else (https://uofuhealth.utah.edu/newsroom/news/2020/08/household-covid19.php) I was relating my personal experience which is backed up by my further experience in my extended family and at school. My 18 year old nephew tested positive (asymptomatic) in April. He was isolated for 10 days and neither his parents or 3 younger brothers got it from him. Everyone in the family tested negative
  15. I am sorry, I should have made clear that we all isolated immediately and all got tested at 5 days and again at 10 days and no one else ever experienced symptoms or tested positive. I am not assuming that no one else got it.
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