Delivering children to university?

[Laura Corin]

I'm trying to work out how we should do this.  The universities that Calvin has chosen are six or seven hours away by car, so we would probably drive down, stay overnight, then deliver him the next day.  He won't want us to hang around after that.

 

I'm trying to work out what to do about Hobbes.  He will want to go.  I'm not sure that Calvin will want him to be there, just because he will be being 'grown up' and won't want his kid brother around.  Part of me thinks that's fine - it's his day and he should be able to organise it as he wishes.  And he certainly won't be around when Hobbes goes off to university.  But I don't know if it's right to exclude H.  I can definitely arrange for him to stay with a friend.

 

We do have a get-out: we have always been really strict about not missing school, and the drop-off is likely to be in Hobbes' school term.  But I don't know.

 

C may not want me around either - I've become a crier as the years have gone on.  I can't help it, I just cry really easily.  And he may want to avoid that.  Which I can understand.

 

What have you done?

 

L

[In The Great White North]

SInce the school was a 3-day drive away, I put them on a plane.  Fortunately, they weren't allowed to bring everything they owned.

[marbel]

I have not done this yet, but I think I would send my husband to do the dropoff.  I'm a crier too; I would cry when I'd drop my kid off for a weekend Scout camp.  It wasn't worry that something would happen to him, it was just weird mommyness on my part.  (Actually I think part of it was stress relief because getting ready for camp was so stinkin' complicated and stressful.) 

 

Of course the bad part of that is, no one to spell the driver.  There seems to be  no easy solution!

[bettyandbob]

I flew with oldest. We couldn't buy plane tickets for everyone. We both just took a carry on and went to Target the next day. If oldest was driving distance, we would probably still do it with only one parent--but that is the due to the nature of his personality.

 

I suspect youngest will go with us to drop off dd. They have a very close relationship and he has disabilities, so he would need to know she didn't just disappear. The only reason we would not all go would be lack of space in the vehicle.

 

Back in the late 70s I went with each of my siblings to drop them off at college (and unload stuff, and carry up several flights of stairs). We had a giant station wagon and I was the youngest. No sibling came to drop me off. I remember my mom cried at drop off for both my brother and sister. She didn't seem to be able to drive away fast enough and did not cry when she left me (she denies this).

[FaithManor]

DD was a commuter to U of Mi so I don't have any experience to fall back on, but what we have planned for ds is to take him without his brothers. I'm going to try very hard not to get teary eyed because I don't want to rain on his parade. It's his day and it will be very exciting so I'm going to focus on that. If there is any chance that I think I'm not going to keep emotional control, I'm going to send dh without me.

 

My dad took me to school on the same day my little sister - the big surprise - left for kindergarten! So, I only had one parent with me. Dad had some paperwork he needed to do for his business as soon as he got back, so he didn't linger. He carried my stuff up the stairs, plugged the fridge into the wall and made sure it was operating properly, took me to the registrar's office to get my class and book lists, went to the bookstore and paid for my books, kissed me on the cheek, waved and drove off. It took maybe 3 hrs. tops and only that because the line at the bookstore was very long. Mom told me later that he choked up a little in the car on the way home. I was thankful mom was with my sister because she was crying HARD just waving to me as I left the home driveway. I think it would have been worse if she had accompanied me to campus.

 

 

[Hoggirl]

Ds has no siblings, but friends who have done this have always driven without the younger siblings. Their feelings were that they didn't want anything distracting from the older child's "day," so to speak. Additionally, more people in the car + more stuff for those people in the car = less space for the college students stuff. So, there was a practical reason as well.

[regentrude]

We will be facing this in September. DD's school is 6-7 hours drive away. If it were a single day to drop off, we'd drive up early in the morning and back at night. But they do an orientation weekend,  and if they have activities for parents on both days, we will stay overnight.

 

We simply leave DS at home. I see no need for him to come along, he won't want to anyway, and he is perfectly capable of, and happy to be, spending a weekend on his own if the fridge is full. Space in the car will be at premium, so why bring along an extra person who is not directly involved in the event?

[Gwen in VA]

Both dh and I do the drop-off. I want to see the kid's room, I want to meet the roommate and the RA, and I want to be part of that moment in their lives.

 

BTW, I have seen more grown men cry during drop-off than at any other moment in my life. It is definitely a kleenex-filled time. My pastor was telling me that he, as the younger brother, ended up doing the five hour drive home after dropping off his older brother at college because his parents were crying too hard to drive! (And he also  said that that was the only time he has ever seen his dad cry!)

 

It tends to be a tear-filled moment, and I don't think fear of crying should keep you from being there to give him that last hug.

[Muttichen]

We always take the whole family.  We drive up the day before and spend the night.  We move the freshman in, do whatever "stuff" there is to do, and say our goodbyes.

[retiredHSmom]

We took the whole family.  It was nice to see what their home would look like. I am a very visual person.  Both my daughters were eager to show off their new home to their siblings.  There is nothing that exemplifies the spirit of "I am grown up" more than showing off your new room and surroundings to the younger sibling that has to return home to mom and dad's house.

[Ivey]

Ds19's school is only about three hours away, and we wanted his first day to be about meeting other new students, not about saying goodbye to his family, so the younger boys and I stayed at home. Dh and Ds drove up early in the morning, checked into his dorm, then went out to lunch. When they got back to the dorm after walking around the campus for a bit, some boys from Ds's floor invited him to go out for pizza, so he and Dh said a quick goodbye, and Dh was home in time for dinner. 

[Kareni]

My husband and I flew out with our daughter when she started college.  While I had previously been on the campus with my daughter, it was my husband's first opportunity; he wanted to both send her off and to see what the campus looked like.  That visit helped later when our daughter would talk about being at the library or cafeteria or .... 

 

 

My husband and I took the opportunity to travel home by train.  This was a cross country trip that my husband had always dreamed of taking.

 

It's possible that my husband was a tad more teary eyed than I was.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Kathy in Richmond]

In our family, it's one of those moments that we like to share together.

 

We all made the 12 hour trip to drop off our son for his first year. He's a minimalist as far as packing stuff, so there was plenty of room left for all of us in the van. His college assigns temporary quarters for pre-orientation, so he had no dorm room to organize nor roommates to meet, but it was still fun to explore his new campus, have a few last meals together, and say our goodbyes.

 

Four years later, my daughter decided to attend school on the opposite coast. She & I had tons of fun taking a 10 day sight-seeing road trip out west together. Our ds was already living near her campus, and dh flew out to be there for move-in, too, so we all made it once again. We did get to help her set up her dorm room and meet her new hallmates and RA that time. We said our good-byes at the end of the afternoon. Dh's cousin, who lives nearby, had us over at the end of the day, and served us kleenex and wine...he and his wife had already been through the process! Dh and I then enjoyed a cross country drive back home, just the two of us. :001_smile:

[8filltheheart]

Dh took our oldest. I think he will be taking youngest ds as well. I am so much in the picture during their education and dh isn't. Going to college is a step into manhood. I am also a big ball of blubber these days. I start crying over the stupidest things. Dh and ds can have special male bonding time for drop off. We are not letting ds take a car to school initially, so we will probably make a family trip there after a few weeks and take all of his little siblings with us. We will whisk him off to a park for a picnic and just hang out for some family time. We did something similar when our 2nd oldest dd turned 9 during oldest ds's freshman yr. She will be turning 16 this yr, so we might just do something like that again. If we do it that way, younger siblings can see the room and campus and since it is a fun day, I am less likely to blubber.

[creekland]

Our whole family has gone.  Definitely no regrets - and tears were all around at the very end to be honest.  When we left, the "rest" of us started our "new" life with a trip back.

[LizzyBee]

The first time we took my oldest, dh and I both went, along with dd's boyfriend. We made arrangements for the other girls to stay with friends. Since then, sometimes I go, sometimes dh goes, and sometimes the other girls go. But for the beginning and end of semester, dh always goes because he's the only one of us who is big enough to carry her fridge and heavier boxes.

 

Our second daughter will start college in August, and dh and I will both definitely go. Oldest goes back to school first, so she won't go, and youngest will probably not go because she will have school that day.  (We're wrapping up homeschooling and youngest will start school for the first time in July.)

[MysteryJen]

We have three big out-of-town swim meets in a row and then a few days before orientation, so for finances sake, dh will fly out with ds1 and I will stay home. It seems a good dad sort of moment with him. 

 

I am excited to see him move into a new adventure.

[madteaparty]

Well, no matter what you do it seems you won't please everyone so please yourself.  :laugh:

 

A very sound policy for all occasions.

To the OP, I do not know, my DS is only 10, but there is no way I miss dropping him off. The indignity of my tears is the least of his burdens ;) I may concede at the younger sibling, but even there. Really, it's one day. He can bear it.

[Pawz4me]

DH and I will both take DS to his university.  It's only a 75 minute drive, so not exactly a big deal.  Youngest DS may or may not come.  It depends on whether move-in day is Friday or Saturday.  If Friday youngest will have school, so definitely won't go.  If it's Saturday we'll let him decide whether he wants to come or not.  DS is taking his car, so we'll go in two vehicles and have plenty of room for stuff and passengers.  Since DS is so close and will have a vehicle, it'll be very easy for him to come home or us to pop down and see him, so I don't anticipate a ton of tears.  But who knows?

[Nan in Mass]

This is something we do as a family. Transitions go better with lots of support here. The student himself is usually very anxious about arriving trailing parents and siblings, but then discovers that everyone else is similarly encumbered and as reality sets in, is not unhappy to be settled in. I unpack while student gets to know roommates, dad exchanges contact info and gets to know the other parents, and brothers explore, then we find laundry and dining areas together and do the family activities. All three have been too distracted to want to think about which drawer to dump the socks in and despite any declarations on the way, wind up asking me to do most of it. I think it is important for younger brothers to see where older one is now and for the student to have memories of his family in the new place. I need that, too. New beginnings are all very well but I want mine to know that they are part of the family no matter where they live. (Like the rest of the world : ) ) In my family, this is part of how we do this.

 

Nan

[readwithem]

My dd spent last year at Oxford, dh had a business trip in the UK that coincided with the end of Trinity term so we scooped up dd and best friend and spent a week in Wales.  As we were leaving, we saw lots of families with younger siblings in tow packing up cars with dorm stuff.  I realize it's not the same as drop off, but just wanted you to know many folk appeared to solve "what to do with younger siblings" issue with bringing them along.

That said, I would defer to C & H about what they want to do.  If Calvin wants Hobbes to come, and Hobbes wants to be there, I would bring him.  Think of it as an early college visit :D  Also I would assure Calvin that he will see lots of other families in the same situation.

[Tokyomarie]

We generally do events like this as a family, but that said, different circumstances and phases in life for the family has meant different drop-offs for each child:

 

Dd#1: Small college, just under 2.5 hrs drive, had family activities during the first 2 days of orientation. With 2 younger sibs in tow, we drove her up and participated in the family activities along with moving dd into her room. Dh helped her set her bed up as a loft.

 

Dd#2: Medium sized state university, 1.5 hrs drive away. Orientation and course registration took place 2.5 months before drop-off. I went with her to orientation and participated in the parent portion. I had planned for the family to go together for drop-off but had an unplanned surgery two days before and couldn't go. Dh drove her down and helped her get set up.

 

Ds: Smaller state university, 10 hrs drive (in the same state!). Drop-off weekend happens just before student orientation and includes some family activities. Daughters live out-of-state now, so dh & I will drive up together with ds, and spend 3 days in the area. Probably hike together the first day, move ds in the second day, and attend family activities the 3rd. On the morning of the 4th day, dh & I will begin our new life as empty nesters!

[Laura Corin]

My dd spent last year at Oxford, dh had a business trip in the UK that coincided with the end of Trinity term so we scooped up dd and best friend and spent a week in Wales.  As we were leaving, we saw lots of families with younger siblings in tow packing up cars with dorm stuff.  I realize it's not the same as drop off, but just wanted you to know many folk appeared to solve "what to do with younger siblings" issue with bringing them along.

That said, I would defer to C & H about what they want to do.  If Calvin wants Hobbes to come, and Hobbes wants to be there, I would bring him.  Think of it as an early college visit :D  Also I would assure Calvin that he will see lots of other families in the same situation.

 

Thanks.  We are not sure yet whether he will go to Oxford or Warwick, but it's probably a similar scene.

 

L

[cathmom]

When my oldest went to college, my husband took him because I had just given birth two weeks before lol!

[dirty ethel rackham]

We had debated about taking oldest to college.  They had a full 3-day orientation and had activities for siblings.  It would have been great for dd - lots of age-appropriate stuff for her to do.  But, ds was 16 at the time and the stuff they had planned for him was totally lame.  So they stayed home (and we didn't have to pay for a dog sitter.)  I had hoped that dh and I could have treated it like a weekend away for us, but I was so exhausted (physically and emotionally) that I just slept at the end of the day.  We didn't see ds that much during the day, but I do feel that the orientation was very helpful for us as parents - it helped me feel comfortable about leaving him there and helped me deal with the separation better.  I held it together for him and saved the tears for the ride back home. 

 

For ds18, I am not sure what we are going to do in the fall.  Dd is not quite old enough to stay by herself.  But, she is going to high school part-time and ds leaves after the schools here start (quarter system for his college.)  So, she will probably stay home.  But, I have to say that it is hard being the one left at home.  The child leaving is going to something.  Those remaining have the hole not filled in by new and exciting stuff. 

[Lolly]

With dd21, just she, dh, and I went to move her in. The other kids had other stuff they were doing during that time. WIth the dd19s, ds went with us. I was really glad to have him to help carry all that stuff up all those flights of stairs!!! Most families seemed to have teen siblings with them. Extra hands were useful. If there were younger kids in the families, they didn't seem to be along. (And, they would have most likely been in the way if they had come!)

[Laura Corin]

We had debated about taking oldest to college.  They had a full 3-day orientation and had activities for siblings.  It would have been great for dd - lots of age-appropriate stuff for her to do.  But, ds was 16 at the time and the stuff they had planned for him was totally lame.  So they stayed home (and we didn't have to pay for a dog sitter.)  I had hoped that dh and I could have treated it like a weekend away for us, but I was so exhausted (physically and emotionally) that I just slept at the end of the day.  We didn't see ds that much during the day, but I do feel that the orientation was very helpful for us as parents - it helped me feel comfortable about leaving him there and helped me deal with the separation better.  I held it together for him and saved the tears for the ride back home. 

 

 

I don't think that UK universities do much orientation for parents.  Warwick seems to have had a welcome speech for parents last year, but I can't find anything else that went on.

 

L

[dirty ethel rackham]

I don't think that UK universities do much orientation for parents.  Warwick seems to have had a welcome speech for parents last year, but I can't find anything else that went on.

 

L

 

The big universities here don't really have any orientation activities for parents.  More of a "drop your kid off, spend some $$ in town, and go away."  This was a smaller, private liberal arts college.  For many of the things done during orientation, it was helpful for parents to be there  - signing FERPA waivers, opening new banking accounts (and learning how to make sure we as parents could get money to them).  My son had some pretty big social anxiety issues, so I felt that having us involved in the orientation was important - we could help navigate some of the health and wellness issues and feel comfortable that ds knew of the resources in place. 

 

For ds18, who is going away in the fall, we have even bigger concerns for his mental health issues, so having us at the orientation will be very important for him (and us) as well. 

 

[Sunshine State Sue]

Thanks for bringing up this topic, Laura.  Hearing the myriad ways that families have handled college student drop-off has been comforting and thought provoking for me.  We are discussing this now.  I would like all of us to go (no sibs here) because it seems like such of a momentous occasion.  However, ds is spending 1/2 the summer at school as it is (ds took him last Sunday), we'll be spending a few weeks in CO this summer, returning with ds at the end of our trip, and it seems unnecessary (or foolish or wasteful or ridiculous) to spend the extra airfare for both parents to return for a weekend a month after we return from vacation.  I'm not sure if ds would prefer one or the other or both of us go.  I'm not sure he would even be willing to really explore that question much less voice a preference.

 

For the record, we expect ds to move into a temporary triple until the new dorm we think he'll be housed in is finished, so we won't be meeting his permanent roommate I don't think.

 

We decided today that I will take him, but I will miss having dh with me, and I want dh to be there for ds (whether or not ds wants both of us there) and for me.  I want us to all be there for this rite of passage.

 

It kind of boils down to money.  We have the money, but it feels like we've been spending it left and right lately, and will be spending it left and right for a while yet.  My head says to cut out this unnecessary expense, but my heart disagrees.  :wacko:

 

[dirty ethel rackham]

 I would like all of us to go (no sibs here) because it seems like such of a momentous occasion. <snip>

 

We decided today that I will take him, but I will miss having dh with me, and I want dh to be there for ds (whether or not ds wants both of us there) and for me.  I want us to all be there for this rite of passage.

 

It kind of boils down to money.  We have the money, but it feels like we've been spending it left and right lately, and will be spending it left and right for a while yet.  My head says to cut out this unnecessary expense, but my heart disagrees.  :wacko:

:iagree: with the bolded.  Yesterday, dh suggested that I just take ds to college by myself, after all, he is the 2nd one to go.  I looked at him like he had two heads.  Of course I want him with me.  Who will drive home when I am in a puddle of tears?  Who will keep me from texting him every 5 minutes asking if he's ok?  (Okay, I have a reason for this - his mental health issues. )  But, then again, who will be with dd14 at home?  We will just need to make arrangements for her and the dog, I guess.

[Pawz4me]

The big universities here don't really have any orientation activities for parents.  More of a "drop your kid off, spend some $$ in town, and go away."  This was a smaller, private liberal arts college.  For many of the things done during orientation, it was helpful for parents to be there  - signing FERPA waivers, opening new banking accounts (and learning how to make sure we as parents could get money to them).  My son had some pretty big social anxiety issues, so I felt that having us involved in the orientation was important - we could help navigate some of the health and wellness issues and feel comfortable that ds knew of the resources in place. 

 

For ds18, who is going away in the fall, we have even bigger concerns for his mental health issues, so having us at the orientation will be very important for him (and us) as well. 

 

 

UNC Chapel Hill does.  It's a two-day affair for kids and their parents. The students go in one direction and the parents in another.  We'll be going in a couple of weeks.  They have many orientation sessions throughout the summer, and you sign up for whichever one you want.  There's one session right before school starts.  We're guessing that one is mainly for the convenience of OOS students who have to travel a long way.

[8filltheheart]

The big universities here don't really have any orientation activities for parents.  More of a "drop your kid off, spend some $$ in town, and go away." 

 

UA has parent and sibling activities are orientation.  Of course, we just gave ds and hug and he went to orientation by himself.  ;)  He had a blast at orientation (and found a new sport to love, something like battleship.   They put canoes in the pool and have teams of 4 in each canoe and using 5 gallon buckets they try to sink the other team's canoe.)   

 

Sue,

 

Think of it this way.   By saving that air fare, could your dh fly up for a parent weekend or you fly ds home for a break where he would normally stay up there?  

[Sunshine State Sue]

Think of it this way.   By saving that air fare, could your dh fly up for a parent weekend or you fly ds home for a break where he would normally stay up there?  

Yes, dh would much rather take a trip to see a basketball game this winter.  :thumbup1:

[creekland]

My head says to cut out this unnecessary expense, but my heart disagrees.  :wacko:

 

My vote would be to go with your heart.  I doubt you'll regret it.

 

Then I'd vote to go to a bball game later on in the year anyway... Some things are worth spending the $$ on if you have them.  We'd cut other areas.

 

But... YMMV  ;)

[ThisIsTheDay]

What have you done?

 

L

 

Our homeschool journey has been so much about being a family, and dd going off to school was a family event.  We stuffed everything in the car, including all four of us, and some even had to (happily) make the three hour drive with things on their laps.  After we moved everything into her room, we took her and her roommate (whose parents had left!) out to lunch.  I was pretty stoic, but dd and I welled up at the very end, so she shooed us out.  Of course, we live within driving distance, so we didn't have to consider the cost of a hotel, several meals out ,or a petsitter at home. That would have changed how the day went.

 

Prior to that, dd and I had attended our original tour, an honors open house day, and smaller three day orientation during different times leading up to the school year.  Dh and ds had only come along with us on a second tour.

 

What surprised me the most and caught me unexpectedly was the change in family dynamics after she left.  Sure, we knew we'd miss her, and her being gone was a shock.  But the balance in our family shifted.  Instead of two adults and two kids, it became more of a three way partnership, with me and my dh, and my ds as more of a roommate/equal, if that makes sense.  Ds took on more responsibility, had no one to bicker with (well, kind of!), and rose to meet the occasion.  This was something that none of my friends really talked about. Everyone was more verbal about missing their kid, not the ripple effect of their child leaving.

[retiredHSmom]

What surprised me the most and caught me unexpectedly was the change in family dynamics after she left.  Sure, we knew we'd miss her, and her being gone was a shock.  But the balance in our family shifted.  Instead of two adults and two kids, it became more of a three way partnership, with me and my dh, and my ds as more of a roommate/equal, if that makes sense.  Ds took on more responsibility, had no one to bicker with (well, kind of!), and rose to meet the occasion.  This was something that none of my friends really talked about. Everyone was more verbal about missing their kid, not the ripple effect of their child leaving.

 I agree with this.  When our second college kid left 2 years ago our son was only 12 and suddenly an only child.  It was very good for him I think.  He had always been "the baby" and it really forced him to step up and take more responsibility.  He is now a much better leader and more responsible than he was. I realize that he is also growing up but the fact that there was no one else to help out made a difference.  He still has 4 more years at home.  When he moves out is will be hard.

[Ravin]

I remember my mom drove me down to university by herself, no dad or younger sisters. She kept it together and was all chipper for me, but years later told me as soon as she was away from campus she pulled over and had a good cry.

 

That said, as you describe it is probably either have your DH take him down alone, or else make it a family event.

[creekland]

What surprised me the most and caught me unexpectedly was the change in family dynamics after she left.  Sure, we knew we'd miss her, and her being gone was a shock.  But the balance in our family shifted.  Instead of two adults and two kids, it became more of a three way partnership, with me and my dh, and my ds as more of a roommate/equal, if that makes sense.  Ds took on more responsibility, had no one to bicker with (well, kind of!), and rose to meet the occasion.  This was something that none of my friends really talked about. Everyone was more verbal about missing their kid, not the ripple effect of their child leaving.

 

We experienced the ripple effect twice.  When oldest left, middle "found" himself and started to take charge in more leadership roles in his groups as well as being more of an adult in the family.

 

When middle left, youngest did the same thing.

 

I think it was good for each kid to have their turn at being "the oldest."

 

Our kids almost always had the partnership aspect with us (at least since they hit their teens), but it still made a difference in their dynamics.

 

[Kareni]

Our homeschool journey has been so much about being a family, and dd going off to school was a family event.  We stuffed everything in the car, including all four of us, and some even had to (happily) make the three hour drive with things on their laps.  After we moved everything into her room, we took her and her roommate (whose parents had left!) out to lunch. 

 

I'd forgotten that we too had lunch with one of our daughter's new roommates.  She had flown in by herself.  She and her parents were well acquainted with the campus as her two older siblings had also attended.  We also helped her move a heavy box of things cross campus that the just graduated sibling had left in storage for her.  We all ate in the cafeteria on campus. 

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Sunshine State Sue]

My vote would be to go with your heart.  I doubt you'll regret it.

Dh agreed to accompany me/us today.  :001_wub:

[Starr]

Make it a fun family day getting there. Families helping unload cars are the norm. It is only appropriate for Calvin to give a nice goodby to his family. It's not like you're going to go to class with him. I would have a talk with him beforehand. Ds sat in a tree and played the ukelele while I helped dd get her room semi set. 

 

We live in a college town. Memorable moments, watching dad sob as son says goodby and heads off to the dorm....I just want to go around and give everyone hugs.

[unsinkable]

.

[katilac]

There is no way dd is getting away from having mom, dad, and lil sis! She'll be lucky if she doesn't have a retinue of aunties, besties, and grandparents driving a caravan to the school. 

 

She will have plenty of time to be all grown up and independent once we leave - and we do have to leave, I'm pretty sure dh checked  :laugh:

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I'm pretty sure that most kids have lots of helping hands on move-in day.  There were certainly plenty around every year when I was in school-even grad school.  Most of my dorm mates ended up meeting my dad since he was always holding doors or offering to help someone else carry a box or grabbing one side of a trunk on the way up the stairs.  I also think all kids are embarrassed by their parents that first year and in subsequent years are happier to let them lend a hand and buy dinner or lunch for them and a few friends on move in day.  My kids will have to suck it up-as many of us that can logistically be there will be there.  And if memory serves when we pull away from the campus the child we just dropped off will be comparing embarrassing stories about our behavior in the previous few hours with their new friends/roommates.  I suspect that is one of the timeless traditions.  (I will add that as much as my friends laughed at the silly stuff my mom did or said they all put in special requests for my exam time care package when mom sent enough cookies for all-many of them asked for her cookie recipes as graduation gifts or wedding gifts in the years to come.) 

[ThisIsTheDay]

 I also think all kids are embarrassed by their parents that first year and in subsequent years are happier to let them lend a hand and buy dinner or lunch for them and a few friends on move in day.  My kids will have to suck it up-as many of us that can logistically be there will be there.  And if memory serves when we pull away from the campus the child we just dropped off will be comparing embarrassing stories about our behavior in the previous few hours with their new friends/roommates.  I suspect that is one of the timeless traditions.

 

"All kids"?  I just don't find this to be true at ALL. 

 

Your experience fascinates me, but I also find it really sad.  :(

[idnib]

.