Rant to woman ahead of me in the grocery store(nut free classrooms/anaphylaxis)

[MedicMom]

I had an anaphylactic reaction today.  On my way home from the hospital, I stopped in the grocery store.  In line in front of me was a lady complaining about how inconvenienced she was packing her daughter's school lunch--her daughter is in a nut free classroom due to a child with severe allergies(this is a small town; I actually know the allergic child and can vouch that her allergies are lifethreatning, even to airborne peanut dust). 

 

It was not good timing for me, but I held my tongue and I feel AWFUL from my own anaphylactic reaction today, so here is part of my blog rant....I thought someone here might enjoy it, but thanks for letting me get it off my chest.
 

Dear woman at the grocery store complaining about her daughters nut-free classroom:
Yes, I am sure leaving walnuts out of your muffins and sending jelly sandwiches are huge inconveniences to you. I am sure that the extra five minutes you might take to scan ingredients on pre packaged food is five minutes that you totally can't spare. I can fully relate! I hate it when I feel like my very veins itch. I am totally inconvenienced when it feels like my throat is filling with mucus and I can't push air through the thickness. That really sucks, probably as much as eating a jelly sandwich with no peanut butter does. And I never have time for the 9-1-1 call, the ambulance ride, the hours in the emergency room, and how miserable I feel for two days afterward from all the drugs they give me to reverse the anaphylaxis--yeah, I mean, that is JUST LIKE the five minutes you spend reading the ingredients on the granola bar you're sending for school lunch tomorrow. So, yeah, you totally have my sympathy in trying to keep the severe food allergy child your daughter's classroom safe. I mean, really, who had time for that?
--signed, someone who really wishes people took food allergies seriously

 

(full rant at Www.saragruver.com, if you want to read, but I really just needed to get it off my chest. Thank you!!)

[Excelsior! Academy]

As someone who knows a child very allergic to peanuts (she cannot be in a garden center due to fertilizers being made with peanut shells and if you have eaten peanuts in the last hour or two and she is breathed on during normal conversation she will likely end up in the er) I appreciate your vent.

[SKL]

I'm sorry you had a rough day!  I do believe that people are getting more and more aware of nut allergy issues.  I for one do pack my kids peanut butter etc., but they don't attend a nut-free school.  Yes, the convenience of peanut butter is great.  But if people really understood that it was a life or death matter, I'm sure they would be more understanding.

 

I wish it didn't have to be a matter of taking sides.  If it were my kid, would have a hard time trusting other parents to adhere to the policy (due to ignorance) and that would make me so anxious.

[gingersmom]

I'm sorry you had to endure such a person. 

 

I'm so nervous for my 18 month old niece who is extremely allergic to peanuts. 

[Mrs Mungo]

Send a letter to the editor of your local paper. Be reasonable and articulate. People lack an education on this issue. 

 

You know what might be a *great* initiative? Talk to the grocery store manager (and/or write a letter to the corporation, if it's a chain) about slapping some "nut free" stickers on safe foods to make things quick and easy for parents. It would benefit both people with nut allergies and moms looking for an easy way to choose snacks. 

[MedicMom]

I do know its a pain in the as*. I always offer to bring my own food or check things carefully to make sure I'm not going to inconvenience someone else with my food allergies. I am thankful for those who help keep me safe.

 

This woman's attitude towards it really rubbed me the wrong way. I know severe food allergies are a pain for everyone involved; but this is a kindergarten we are talking about. Can't you take a few extra minutes to help make sure she is safe at school? Sigh.

[Hot Lava Mama]

Ugh.  Sounds terrible!

 

Does anyone else wonder why there are so many food allergies nowadays?  It is so weird!  Did we not hear about during our parent's time, or do you think something wacky is going on with the food supply that is causing this?

Just wondering.

Glad you are o.k!

Hot Lava Mama

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

[Lara in Colo]

Ugh.  Sounds terrible!

 

Does anyone else wonder why there are so many food allergies nowadays?  It is so weird!  Did we not hear about during our parent's time, or do you think something wacky is going on with the food supply that is causing this?

Just wondering.

Glad you are o.k!

Hot Lava Mama

 

this is an interesting article about why--- not sure how much is actual fact or even correct-- just interesting http://www.thedoctorwithin.com/allergies/vaccines-and-the-peanut-allergy-epidemic/

[mumto2]

I do wonder why so many are allergic in the US. Several of dc's US friends have nut allergies. Only one in UK so far. We eat peanut butter sandwiches on group outings here with no worries about others.

 

The only conclusions I have are many wait til five to introduce peanut butter here and it is not popular because the non US brands are odd.

 

:grouphug:

[mumto2]

this is an interesting article about why--- not sure how much is actual fact or even correct-- just interesting http://www.thedoctorwithin.com/allergies/vaccines-and-the-peanut-allergy-epidemic/

Interesting, thank you.

[Lara in Colo]

Would it be helpful to submit your list of approved foods/snacks/brands to the school????

 

I would be more compliant if I could just go in pick up X brand of granola bars and not have to figure out that "long chemical name" is BAD THING in disguise.

[MedicMom]

My allergies--seafood and stawberries-- are fairly easy to avoid and aren't usually airborne.

Nut allergies are different because they often can cause a reaction by being airborne which is why you see the nut free classroom concept.

 

My personal opinion is that since nut allergies are the most common type of childhood allergies, manufacturers should label things nut free, allowing you to grab and go. My son is actually in a nut free Sunday school class; I usually send apples and cheese and that stuff for his snack.

[Word Nerd]

.

[kitten18]

.

Yeah, that was probably a good idea.

[Seasider]

My allergies--seafood and stawberries-- are fairly easy to avoid and aren't usually airborne.

Nut allergies are different because they often can cause a reaction by being airborne which is why you see the nut free classroom concept.

 

My personal opinion is that since nut allergies are the most common type of childhood allergies, manufacturers should label things nut free, allowing you to grab and go. My son is actually in a nut free Sunday school class; I usually send apples and cheese and that stuff for his snack.

I agree but I will extend your rant by saying that people really need to pay attention to all the fine print on labels! Many times I have picked up what one would think is a safe item, only to get to the little words on the bottom that say the item was processed on equipment or in the same facility as items with nuts.

 

So honestly, even if something had a nut free sticker at the grocery store, I'm still analyzing that label! I'd be all for an approved list of snacks in class rooms or club meetings. Unfortunately, folks are likely to complain that they actually have to do something more than buy a box of prepackaged snack food. DD is still in the process of learning to read labels herself. But she does know there are certain people she can never, ever, accept food from since they have proven to be unconvinced of the potential of a serious reaction.

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:

[KungFuPanda]

this is an interesting article about why--- not sure how much is actual fact or even correct-- just interesting http://www.thedoctorwithin.com/allergies/vaccines-and-the-peanut-allergy-epidemic/

That's interesting. I always just assumed that the spread was due to more peanut allergy kids actually living long enough to reproduce.

[Plink]

I understand not wanting to hear her grumble, but honestly, I think that it is great that she was following through. I have heard of so many people who ignore food safety rules. It scares me to death.

 

Not that she was right to complain in public, but she apparently is at least making an effort and going out of her way to make sure that a kid she doesn't know is safe. Good for her. (And good for you for holding your tongue)

 

I'll take a dozen grumbly rule-followers over one sweetly smiling allergen-ignorer.

 

Sorry you've had an awful day, and I hope you are feeling better from your reaction.

[NicAnn]

As an allergy mom myself, I totally get it. And I'm sorry that you deal with that. :(

I wasn't there tody, so I can't speak for her tone or exact words. But packing nut free is incredibly stressful for me! My daughter has allergies and restrictions, like I said, but she is also very small and needs a certain amount of fats in her diet. It's nearly impossible to get without nuts. I already spend a crazy amount of time dealing with her diet! Obviously, this has nothing to do with you or this other lady, but nut free classrooms are one of the 200 reasons we are homeschooling.

[MedicMom]

Honestly I think food allergies in general are plainly stressful. And I know it must be hard to pack a lunch for your own child while keeping someone else's health needs in your mind that you don't have to deal with and don't understand.

 

I get all this.

 

But severe food allergies are real and deadly. The extra stress she had picking out lunch food for her daughter is nothing compared to what that other child and their family deal with everyday. And I don't think a small town grocery store is the place to be loudly complaining about it.

[Mergath]

this is an interesting article about why--- not sure how much is actual fact or even correct-- just interesting http://www.thedoctorwithin.com/allergies/vaccines-and-the-peanut-allergy-epidemic/

 

I can't see how that could be true.  Supposedly there's peanut oil in vaccines, and this peanut oil causes peanut allergies, yet somehow kids with life-threatening peanut allergies don't have any kind of allergic reaction to vaccines?  How does that work?  Seems like a stretch.

[Hot Lava Mama]

this is an interesting article about why--- not sure how much is actual fact or even correct-- just interesting http://www.thedoctorwithin.com/allergies/vaccines-and-the-peanut-allergy-epidemic/

 

That is really interesting!  I have never heard that before.  I have just thought that something weird is going on with the allergies, especially the peanut thing.  Until recently, we never heard of it.  Now, it's lethal!  Too weird.  It has to be something that has changed with things that are inside our body (like food or vaccines!)  I feel for the people who have to live with this danger every day.  Stuff like peanuts are everywhere!

 

Hot Lava Mama

 

[hsmom27]

I have life-threatening allergies. I end up in the ER on a regular basis. I'm sorry you had a bad day. But as the mom of a child who desperately needs the fats he'll only eat in peanut butter, nut-free schools are impossibly problematic for my son's health as well. There's no good answer, but like NicAnn, it's one of the reasons we homeschool.

[MedicMom]

Actually I still sort of get it--my three year old is seriously underweight and eats a nut/peanut butter heavy diet because of that. If he was in school, I don't know what I would do, though I would make sure that we could come up with a solution that kept everybody healthy and safe. (It actually is on our list of reasons to homeschool)

 

That I get. Ranting in the grocery store that food allergies aren't real and that it's an inconvenience for you? Sorry, I don't get that.

Plus the school as a whole doesn't have a nut free policy and if it is that hard, why not see if your child can transfer into another kindergarten class that doesn't have these restrictions?

[Impish]

Plus the school as a whole doesn't have a nut free policy and if it is that hard, why not see if your child can transfer into another kindergarten class that doesn't have these restrictions?

 

Not being snarky, but have you ever tried to get a child transferred out of an assigned class, for ANY reason? Self surgery is easier, and probably less painful.

 

I have friends who have serious issues, either b/c of bullying students, teachers, on and on...and the school won't transfer the kid out of the class w/out getting major levels of authority involved, and threatening legal action.

 

Not saying it's the same everywhere, but I've heard stories from more than one parent, more than one location.

 

It's not as easy as you'd think.

[Lara in Colo]

Plus the school as a whole doesn't have a nut free policy and if it is that hard, why not see if your child can transfer into another kindergarten class that doesn't have these restrictions?

 

Not being snarky, but have you ever tried to get a child transferred out of an assigned class, for ANY reason? Self surgery is easier, and probably less painful.

 

I have friends who have serious issues, either b/c of bullying students, teachers, on and on...and the school won't transfer the kid out of the class w/out getting major levels of authority involved, and threatening legal action.

 

Not saying it's the same everywhere, but I've heard stories from more than one parent, more than one location.

 

It's not as easy as you'd think.

 

ummmm who are you?... you seem sort of familiar....can't quite figure out where I know you from............

[IsabelC]

OK, my kids all like peanut butter and yes, it's a bummer to have restrictions on what food they are allowed to bring. But surely needing to eat peanuts for health reasons isn't comparable to needing to avoid peanuts for health reasons. The former kid can have peanut butter for breakfast, peanuts for after school snack and peanut satay sauce for the evening meal. The latter could die if she/he is exposed to peanuts.

[Impish]

ummmm who are you?... you seem sort of familiar....can't quite figure out where I know you from............

:001_tt2: Been a wee bit busy, new baby and all, yanno :lol: 

[Lara in Colo]

:001_tt2: Been a wee bit busy, new baby and all, yanno :lol: 

 

You know, that is the same excuse another friend of mine uses----Perhaps I should take a hint???

[Joker]

I'll admit to getting annoyed by the attention paid to nut allergies sometimes. I have a dd who has had an anaphylactic reaction to cats, but the school doesn't tell others they can't own cats or have to hose off to come inside the building. She also has asthma and it's been scary at times. There are many kids out there who are very allergic to many different things but are not given much attention. I would always comply but I can't say I wouldn't be someone who might be overheard complaining in public about the attention one is given over the other.

[BakersDozen]

I confess that I was "that" lady/mom who complained (to myself only, however) about the peanut allergy thing.  My take on it was if your dc has an allergy then it is your responsibility to provide a snack for them separate from what the other kids were having.

 

Then I took care of my nephew who, I was informed, had a severe peanut allergy.  I didn't take it seriously until his finger touched peanut butter and then his lip.  In a matter of seconds his face was bright red, his eyes were swollen shut and his tongue was swelling.  I have never been so scared in my life.  

 

I take peanut allergies and all other allergies very, very seriously now.  

[kiwik]

we don't have 48 things on our vaccination list and we still have peanut allergies. I don't think I ever had peanut butter as a child though I'm not sure it was available here in the 1970's. I have never heard of anyone being allergic to vegemite or Marmite so i put that on my son's sandwiches.

[Impish]

You know, that is the same excuse another friend of mine uses----Perhaps I should take a hint???

LOL!

Oh, hey, check PMs, I'll send ya somethin...

[MrsJewelsRae]

Sorry about your reaction. :) My 4 year old ds is highly anaphylactic to peanuts, among other things. I've had a few idiots I've run into as well. At the farmers market a few months ago we walked by a peanut booth and the man shoved a scoop of peanuts toward my ds, offering him some! I pulled my ds away and shouted "no he's allergic!" - he rolled his eyes as if he didn't believe me and even attempted to push the scoop at us again as we were rushing away! My dh was about ready to kill the guy when I told him about it. At another farmers market a few weeks ago my friend stopped to pick up some cookies at a booth, the lady offered her some peanut butter cookies and she declined saying "no sorry, I don't want to eat any peanuts as my friend and her son are visiting me and he's deathly allergic". The lady went on a rant about these peanut allergy people who expect everyone to run their lives around their problems, peanut free schools, etc and finished with "why don't they put them in their own schools?!". Ya, sorry my sweet and adorable little boy's life threatening food allergy is such an inconvenience to you!!! While they're annoyed at having to find peanut alternatives for school lunch, my heart stops every time my son sneezes when he's eating.

 

Fwiw, while I do have my concerns about vaccines my son is completely unvaccinated. He is my only child who I took prometrium progesterone supplement with- which is suspended in peanut oil (I was otherwise peanut free during my pregnancies), and he's the only one with food allergies. I think there are multiple reasons why we are seeing such an increase...

[Arcadia]

It is impossible without medical reasons to change classrooms in my kids's assigned school. That is because the parents all want the "best" teacher in each grade for their kids.

My older had a peanut allergic child in his kindergarten class. We just send fruits for class parties contribution. For his recess and lunch, I packed two packs of milk and a ham sandwich. He is my slow eater with sensory issues.

My boys also have a peanut allergic child in their saturday class. We bring fruits, cheese, tortilla chips and pasta for potluck contribution. We do check labels for fine print.

[MommaOfalotta]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  Feel better.

[MedicMom]

I can only speak for my public school, but I do know they've changed classes for various reasons. It's small town though and probably a bit more flexible.

 

Btw, I am talking specifically about a child who is deathly allergic to even airborne peanuts. For instance, I am anaphylactic to strawberries and I wouldn't have a problem if you sat across from me and ate strawberries. I am anaphylactic to airborne fish, so that makes a difference. An enclosed classroom with a child who will have a reaction to the smell of peanut butter makes it a more serious situation. I'm not talking about worrying about sharing snacks; but about a child who risks dying by someone else at the same table eating a peanut butter sandwich.

[fairfarmhand]

I'm sorry you had a rough day!  I do believe that people are getting more and more aware of nut allergy issues.  I for one do pack my kids peanut butter etc., but they don't attend a nut-free school.  Yes, the convenience of peanut butter is great.  But if people really understood that it was a life or death matter, I'm sure they would be more understanding.

 

I wish it didn't have to be a matter of taking sides.  If it were my kid, would have a hard time trusting other parents to adhere to the policy (due to ignorance) and that would make me so anxious.

 

Let me tell you...cream cheese and jelly/jam sandwiches are DIVINE. Totally amazing substitute for PB, and with almost the same protein content at the PB.

[Dmmetler]

Ugh.  Sounds terrible!

 

Does anyone else wonder why there are so many food allergies nowadays?  It is so weird!  Did we not hear about during our parent's time, or do you think something wacky is going on with the food supply that is causing this?

Just wondering.

Glad you are o.k!

Hot Lava Mama

Part of it, I think, is just plain not hearing about it. I know of at least two other folks my age who I was in elementary school with (so out of a group of about 60-we had three class sections per grade level)who had anaphylaxis level allergic reactions to foods, and mostly, it was up to us and our parents to make it work, somehow. For me, that meant packed lunches until I was old enough to know what I usually could eat and was able to quiz the lunch ladies or the mom who brought the cupcakes on ingredients (my allergies are to specific spices and flavorings, meaning that for me, something homemade is safer than something packaged listing "natural flavorings"). Another boy couldn't come to school at all if the cafeteria was serving fish (which meant that he was out of school every Friday during Lent) and ate in the office if a classmate had packed tuna (by the end of 1st grade, I don't think anyone brought tuna to school-it was never an official ban, but we knew that if we packed tuna, it would make B. eat in the office, and having to go to the office was a HORRIBLE fate for a 1st grader that we didn't want to wish on anyone). Another had a serious milk allergy, but it wasn't an airborne one, so packed lunches were enough to make her safe.

 

Basically, it was made to work, but, for the most part, was handled without formal rules. I would imagine the kid who had to miss school if they were cooking seafood had to have had something on file to allow this to happen without problem for him, but the idea that they would simply not serve fish in the cafeteria never was brought up as far as I know.

[fairfarmhand]

I'd eat it on a grammy!!

 

 

The cost though, is not divine. Many who are just one notch up from reduced lunch couldn't fit this into their household budget. The other issue is the stressed K & 1s...they aren't going to eat anything but their comfort lunch the first six weeks..and if that's pbj, they are just going to sit there and stare at whatever is in the lunchbox before they throw it out at the end of lunch. Milk will be their only protein and that would have to get them thru the next four hours.

 

yup. I get it.

 

[TeacherZee]

I'll admit to getting annoyed by the attention paid to nut allergies sometimes. I have a dd who has had an anaphylactic reaction to cats, but the school doesn't tell others they can't own cats or have to hose off to come inside the building. She also has asthma and it's been scary at times. There are many kids out there who are very allergic to many different things but are not given much attention. I would always comply but I can't say I wouldn't be someone who might be overheard complaining in public about the attention one is given over the other.

 

When I was in grade school we were asked to not cuddle our animals in our "school clothes" because we had a student in the class with severe allergies so it does happen.

[mirth]

I had an anaphylactic reaction today.  On my way home from the hospital...

How are you doing today?

[Library Momma]

I've never heard of a completely nut free school.  Around me nut allergies are so common that usually two classrooms out of about 8 per grade (2-4 nut allergic kids in each) are nut free.  The classrooms that are nut free are for their daily snack only not their entire lunch.  When kids eat their lunch usually there is a peanut free table in the cafeteria.  I have seen some confused parents that think the entire lunch needs to be peanut free but then realize that is not the case.  Teachers are very good at monitoring the nut free snacks in the classroom.

 

The down side is that the kids with the allergies always have to eat at the nut free tables in the cafeteria and can't sit with their friends (although it's a small price to pay for their safety).  Also children with other food allergies are often put in those same peanut free classrooms.

 

When I was a kid in the 70's I had two classmates with peanut allergies but the school never really did anything to accommodate them.  They really had to monitor themselves.  I've known so many people with all sorts of food allergies in my life.  Everything from blueberries to chicken.  Perhaps people have more allergies in the Northeast!

[OH_Homeschooler]

It boggles my mind how ignorant people can be about allergies. Mostly, that so many people still think things like nut allergies are just a minor inconvenience or even imaginary. I've heard people complain that school restrictions on nut products are just a form of political correctness...OK then. I just feel so lucky I don't have anyone close to me with any really bad allergies, but if I did I would go out of my way to make life easier for them, and not complain. Because yeah, the inconvenience for me is way lower than it is for the person with the allergies. 

[trinchick]

The down side is that the kids with the allergies always have to eat at the nut free tables in the cafeteria and can't sit with their friends (although it's a small price to pay for their safety).  Also children with other food allergies are often put in those same peanut free classrooms.

 

 

They have a nut-free table at DD's school. Each allergic child is allowed to invite a guest to join them each day, so they're not ostracized from the rest of the group. It actually gives the allergic kids some social leverage (be nice to me or I won't invite you to sit at the nut-free table). This system works great at our school.

[QueenCat]

I've never heard of a completely nut free school. 

 

The school where my sister teaches went completely nut free this year. About a year ago, she said her county was looking at going nut free. Not sure if they did or not.

[Seasider]

The other issue is the stressed K & 1s...they aren't going to eat anything but their comfort lunch the first six weeks..and if that's pbj, they are just going to sit there and stare at whatever is in the lunchbox before they throw it out at the end of lunch. Milk will be their only protein and that would have to get them thru the next four hours.

I get your point, but I think you are still talking about a difference between wants [eta I meant to say NEEDS, not wants] and preferences. A parent could take the summer and "train" a soon to be K or 1st to a new type of comfort food. A nut-allergic child cannot be trained to safely eat nuts - it is simply not an option.

 

For the non-allergic child, you are basically talking about one morning snack and one lunch meal in the context of a full day of perhaps four to seven eating opportunities. It only takes one exposure at one eating opportunity to send a nut-allergic child into anaphylactic shock.

 

This is one reason we homeschool - to take the time to train our allergic kid how to eat safely, and to be able to oversee her diet and how she reacts in food-social situations, training along the way. We are fortunate in that her reactions (to date) have not been of the most severe variety (ie, no problem with airborne nut matter), but many kids are in that situation. If we were, for whatever reason, unable for me to stay at home during this season of life, I would be very uncomfortable sending my child into a school where others have little regard for the consequences of a nut exposure. I realize that many people have issues with picky eaters and underweight kids, but in most cases those families have more choices than those that are nut-allergic.

[MSNative]

nm

 

[Mom-ninja.]

Send a letter to the editor of your local paper. Be reasonable and articulate. People lack an education on this issue. 

 

You know what might be a *great* initiative? Talk to the grocery store manager (and/or write a letter to the corporation, if it's a chain) about slapping some "nut free" stickers on safe foods to make things quick and easy for parents. It would benefit both people with nut allergies and moms looking for an easy way to choose snacks. 

 

This. My grocery store puts gluten free labels on food items.