RoughCollie Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I deleted this just in case some nosy teenager decides to look at this forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 :scared: At least they didn't show up at your door saying they wanted to socialize. No advice, but good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I have no clue, but I can commiserate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Yikes! That's all I got. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I would send a thank you note for the food (even if you donate to the food pantry). And just ignore the request for the phone for now. If it comes up again, I would say that our schedule is very busy right now, but if things lighten up, we'll give you a shout. I don't know how successful *I* would be with this, but in my head it sounds polite which is my aim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 DR is correct. Your mother is ill and you are going out of town soon. You are much too busy to pick up the phone and you must have mislaid their number. . . . (Don't mislay mine though or you'll be in big trouble, Young Lady!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 what you do is give Tom a thank you card to give his parents. ... and if the parents start coming over etc. you are just on your way out, or are extremely busy... things like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Honestly? I'd dodge, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 You are busy. Very very busy. I'll send dh over to talk to them about FN..... then I won't have to hear it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 Okay, the thank you card will be written. What should it say? "Thank you so much for the box of food! We appreciate it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amsunshine Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I wouldn't know what to say -- the box of food just sounds, um...so weird. There wasn't a note attached or anything suggesting that this was intended to be some grand gesture of a gift, right? It sounds like they just kind of dumped some junk on your doorstep? My thought is that maybe you should say something in the note like..."Thanks for the box of food items. We didn't really need any of the items and didn't want them to go to waste, so we donated them to the local homeless shelter/food bank/whatever. I'm sure they will be put to good use." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 thank you card could be one of those cards that are pre written that you buy form the shop. that way you just have to write who it is to and who it is from. Or just write thank you for your kind thoughts. I have met people like this before. The being extremely busy thing does work eventually. some people are quicker to pick up on it than others. :coolgleamA: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 RC, I think you have to develop some annoying habit or personality trait that will drive these people away. It has to be something very obvious- these folks won't understand anything subtle. The good thing is that if they ever mention such behavior to any of your friends, nobody will believe it. Oh, RC talks incessantly about kilts and cupcakes? Hmm...she's never done that around me....TomMom must be mistaken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Okay, the thank you card will be written. What should it say? "Thank you so much for the box of food! We appreciate it!" I think they cleaned out their fridge to make room for incoming food, frankly, and we are the only people they know to foist this stuff off on. One thing is good. I wasn't home, and Aidan had to have gone ballistic. Maybe he scared them off permanently ... there is nothing like listening to a barking, snarling, growling, leaping 50 lb. terrier from the other side of the door! He sounds like he will kill any stranger who comes to our door. I have never met anyone before like this. Every cell in my body wants to escape their presence. It's weird. They are not dangerous, just so 100% off-putting. It's like being in the Twilight Zone when I am around them. I wonder how they find jobs, how they make friends ... surely my family and I can't be the only ones with this reaction. DH wants to play football with the cabbage -- it would win a prize, it is so huge! I would simply put something like Thank you for the box you left on our door. It was very thoughtful of you. We will certainly use what we can and pass the rest on to other families who can benefit from your generosity. NO lies. You are just thanking them for the box....LOL Maybe you can use it somewhere around the house, if even just to move some unwanted food to a shelter or to someone you know who could use it. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I wouldn't know what to say -- the box of food just sounds, um...so weird. There wasn't a note attached or anything suggesting that this was intended to be some grand gesture of a gift, right? It sounds like they just kind of dumped some junk on your doorstep? My thought is that maybe you should say something in the note like..."Thanks for the box of food items. We didn't really need any of the items and didn't want them to go to waste, so we donated them to the local homeless shelter/food bank/whatever. I'm sure they will be put to good use." This!! If you say you donated the food maybe they'll be offended and that will be end of future contact. Let's hope so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I think you should spend as much time as possible with them. Videotape, take notes, etc. then write a screenplay, kind of a black comedy about...well, whatever they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 :scared: At least they didn't show up at your door saying they wanted to socialize. No advice, but good luck. Shhhh! Don't jinx it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 umm...umm.. how... random. It is not a typical "we'd like to be friends" kind of present, but yeah I think a generic thank you card and maybe mention that some had to be donated. (Do you have any food allergies in the house??? mentioning that might keep future boxes from showing up) :huh: See, if I wanted to be friends with someone, I'm thinking a basket of baked goods, or some flowers.... not cleaning out my pantry. :lol: And yes, just be VERY busy...and no phone numbers AGHHH...although if you get backed into a corner, go get a google voice # (they are free and great for giving out to solicitors or in stores or online or to people you do not really want to talk to). The voice mail will go straight to your gmail inbox. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I'll be the rude one and say that no way on earth would I send a thank you note for the weird oddments o' food. This is not an ugly sweater from your great aunt, lol. I know that, in my circle of friends, we don't send thank you notes every time someone passes on a bag of outgrown clothing or drops off some extra soup. Also, they sound like the kind of people who will then turn around and tell the world how grateful you were, and make it sound like your family would be malnourished but for them. Don't do it. The sad fact is, some people don't 'get' polite, and you have to act in a way that you would normally consider rude in order to get through to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Oh, RC talks incessantly about kilts and cupcakes? Hmm...she's never done that around me....TomMom must be mistaken. Sorry to hijack, but would someone please explain to me the background behind this running gag of kilts and cupcakes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I would serve them coffee in Obama mugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Sorry to hijack, but would someone please explain to me the background behind this running gag of kilts and cupcakes? Maybe this thread will help? http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/302350-the-well-trained-mind-101-crash-course/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 My first thought when I read your post was they were being nice and trying to repay you for all the food they ate at your house lol. I don't eat goods left on my doorstep so it would be tossed or given away. I think the card is too much interaction with them ...tell Tom to say thanks and leave it at that. Try to avoid them as much as possible lol. That's all I got. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Weird dp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I'm with Sis. Send a thank you note on Obama-Biden letterhead. Maybe include a Weight Watchers brochure. But I'm mean like that. ETA: Would something with Ralph Nadar's name be more offensive? If so, do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I would serve them coffee in Obama mugs. And turn on MSNBC while they are there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 deleted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 My first thought when I read your post was they were being nice and trying to repay you for all the food they ate at your house lol. I don't eat goods left on my doorstep so it would be tossed or given away. I think the card is too much interaction with them ...tell Tom to say thanks and leave it at that. Try to avoid them as much as possible lol. That's all I got. How often is food left on your porch?? :laugh: :laugh: Write a thank you note, RC. Copy Tap's word for word and make sure you know their number so you NEVER answer the phone if they call. And learn their vehicle so you never answer the door if the bell rings. And hey, we have someone like this in our lives too. He calls himself an architect. He made it through exactly 11 weeks of college before dropping out. He's convinced he's too brilliant for college. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
West Coast Mom Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Look on the bright side, now you have something to feed them next time they visit. On the serious side, I'd probably just send a cordial thank you note through the son and be done with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I'd just ask Tom to pass along thanks. I'd be too worried that a card would be seen as encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 #6 They are not smart, not in the least bit. Education has nothing to do with it; I don't think these two have an entire brain between them. They are not mentally disadvantaged, they are aliens. I've been around all sorts of people, and I have never met anyone like them. Best. Line. Ever. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I just cruised by the bags of food, and one of them is a 2.14 lb. paper bag of mushrooms. They have dirt all over them, and a few of them are a different variety. They look like white button mushrooms, like they have at the grocery store. I wonder if TomDad is growing mushrooms in his apartment. You're not gonna eat the mushrooms, are you? :eek: :ack2: :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 You know something? I was going to suggest the thank you note, but the more I think about it, the more I believe these people will view it as encouragement to leave more stuff at your house and also to try to become closer friends with you. (And I'll bet they're already telling people you're their best friends.) I think you should just remind Tom to be sure to thank his parents for you, and let it go. Otherwise, one day next week, you might come home to find a somewhat used faux leather recliner sitting on your porch, along with a TV that only needs minor repair. The alien family's generosity may know no bounds. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 We love cabbage in roasted/stewed chicken, soups, and stir fry. Can I have it? What kind of granola bars? Any Pringles, or just the Fritos? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 If you go the thank you note route, think about using the good stuff. Maybe they will think you are uppity and not try again. If you use regular old Walmart cards, they will continue to think you are just one of the crew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isabella Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I agree with just asking Tom to pass on your thanks to his parents. Not to hijack your thread, but I had 2 families (together) like this over for a meal. They were brother and sister and their kids (both brother and sister are divorced from their partners). Their son lived near us, and while his Mum, siblings, uncle and cousins were down visiting, I thought I'd do the nice thing and have them all over. Well.....we basically provided the venue and the food for a fabulous private family catch-up. They talked and talked and talked amongst themselves, and basically there was nothing for us to say/do except add the odd little comment about some trip they'd been on, or whatever. On those occasions they would almost look in surprise that someone else was in the room with them! They dished themselves huge servings of food, proclaimed it absolutely delicious, left half of it, and said they were FAR too full to finish, and do I have dogs or chickens or something that would eat it? Then as soon as dessert came out (5 minutes after they were SO FULL) they chowed down on that, and polished it all off. All the while again talking non-stop between themselves. My husband and I could just look at each other across the table. The minute they left, I just said....NEVER AGAIN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 deleted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 That kind of sounds like they got a food box through a charity or state program and passed some of it onto you. Having received that type of things before I can say that the no name canned goods and random junk food are typical and the fresh produce is if you're lucky. It's a thought anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Be prepared for when they show up unannounced at your door. I would be incredibly surprised if this did not happen. Be ready to say, "Oh, I'm sorry, but this is really not a good time...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I'll be the rude one and say that no way on earth would I send a thank you note for the weird oddments o' food. This is not an ugly sweater from your great aunt, lol. I know that, in my circle of friends, we don't send thank you notes every time someone passes on a bag of outgrown clothing or drops off some extra soup. Also, they sound like the kind of people who will then turn around and tell the world how grateful you were, and make it sound like your family would be malnourished but for them. Don't do it. The sad fact is, some people don't 'get' polite, and you have to act in a way that you would normally consider rude in order to get through to them. This really seems like a classic, "we're leeches trying to weasel into your life" move. Don't fall for it. Don't send a thank you card, it will just encourage them. When they do show up unannounced(and they will!), you need to politely tell them that you're not comfortable with people showing up unannounced. I know it seems rude to a nice gal like yourself, but it's the only way. If you let them in, it's ALL OVER. They will probably move in and never leave. And, if somehow they do get in DON'T FEED THEM! Tell them you're all on a diet, love Obama, whatever it takes. What's that book about not giving a mouse a cookie? Go buy that book :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 deleted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 send a thank you note for the food (they already have your address.). don't mention that you will - give the food to a food bank they still don't have your phone number, and you still don't talk to them. prepare to be more proactive in ending their visits. (should you ever be stuck with that again.) because you didn't end the conversation, they think you're interested in more. eta: okay - I agree with the have Tom thank them for you - a note could be construed as encouragement from people who already think you're friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 deleted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 I have given these people no reason at all to think we are friends. hopefully they don't - but some people don't need much encouragement. from your description of them, they sound pretty socially clueless. the socially clueless don't see things the way "normal" people do. sometimes they see what they want, and that makes it real to them. Just because you feel you haven't done anything to send a message you are friends with them, doesn't mean they haven't (incorrectly) interpreted anything to mean you are friends. so, just be aware of what may come in future. I think it's great Tom is turning out more aware than his parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 It is proper to say thank you directly such as with a note. I would not go through Tom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Send them this card---- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 It is proper to say thank you directly such as with a note. I would not go through Tom. I would not worry about being proper with these nut jobs. I'd do everything I could to discourage them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013 Send them this card---- LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted April 13, 2013 Share Posted April 13, 2013   This entire food box thing is a way to get me to call them since Tom hasn't given them our phone number.  I just ignored this request on the theory that if I have nothing good to say, I should say nothing at all. Poor Tom! It sounds like he well aware of his parents and is trying not to let them screw up his friendship with your family. Poor kid. Can you imagine how he has struggled with that for years? :( I'd be devastated if my son felt that way about me and seriously reconsiders changing my ways. :'( Now, for that thank you note. I would not give it to Tom. I would mail it. Poor Tom doesn't need to be in the middle any more than they make him already. Dear Tom mom and Dad, Thank you for the donated box of groceries. I'm sure the local food pantry appreciated your generosity. In the future, it woud probably be easier to make a drop off at X, Y, or Z donation facility. Again, on behalf of X Food Pantry , thank you for the donation. Best regards, Basicly I'd make it sound like you don't expect anymore deliveries and you don't need food donations and you are keeping it somewhat professional-like to discourage, yet politely, discourage them repeating it or going further. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted April 13, 2013 Author Share Posted April 13, 2013 Thank you all very much for your advice. I appreciate it. I did tell Tom both times he was here last night to be sure to tell his parents thank you, and I am going to leave it at that. I deleted the posts I made to protect the innocent in case one of the many teens that comes in and out of my house goes into the pantry where my desk is and decides to peruse the forums on my computer. Usually I log off my password-protected computer account and put the guest account up, but not always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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