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Rant: Can Teenagers Survive for One Day Without Texting?


JumpyTheFrog
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We went to the zoo yesterday. I saw many teenagers paying more attention to their phones than to the zoo itself. I see them do this everywhere else, but for some reason, I was surprised to see it so much at the zoo. And no, most of them weren't using their phones to take photos.

 

I'm not that old, but there seems to be a big gap between teens now and when I was a teen or in college. Even in 2003, not that many students at my private college had cell phones. If they did, they weren't glued to them and people didn't text. I have friends 8-10 years younger than me (they live at home and I'm friends with their parents, too) and I am always surprised at how often one of them will call another over stuff most people wouldn't have bothered calling about "back when I was their age."

 

Rant over. I'm done sounding like a crotchety old lady.

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I agree the whole text every move I make is just stupid and my kids do not do it! If I pay to go somewhere your not gonna be on the phone while we are there. You can't have a phone at dinner and while your doing school. After a certain time at night phones are taken and God help you if I find you sneak them after. My daughter has friends who every second of the day are updating facebook with the dumbest stuff I have ever heard! The whole keep in touch thing is crazy

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I think part of the problem is that this came upon us so suddenly, parents haven't figured out how to best regulate it yet, or how to teach their children to control their use. When my first three were in high school, it was rare that anyone their age had a cell phone. With my last two, everyone had one. That's how fast it became part of our culture.

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Ugh, I'm with you. I taught jr. high in 2007 and 8 of my 10 6th graders had their own phones, with texting. The school rules allowed them to use them between classes as well as at lunch. Like they had time between classes to get their stuff and chat with someone not on campus! I was the "young" teacher, so I loved shocking them with how primitive my HS years were. I actually had to *gasp* go to the office to call my mom! And *gasp* it had to be for something serious enough to get through the office staff's questioning.

 

I now teach at my church youth group. 95% of the kids are homeschooled, and a large portion of them are hooked on texting. Some would come to an 1.5 hr. youth group and be texting off and on for most of it. I started telling them, "If you're going to be here, BE here." and most of them have cut back. We had a lock-in for the girls and we didn't think to make it a no-phone/IPOD event, but we will next time. When I was a teen no one wanted to waste time talking to someone who wasn't there unless it was an emergency. You were there to hang out WITH your physically present friends.

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Well, I have two teens and neither have cell phones. But it bugs even them. When they are with friends who do have cell phones and they are texting away instead of interacting and also those who text during youth group/church when they should be paying attention. So it's not just adults who get driven nuts by it.

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Yes, it is possible but it requires parents to say-get off the phone or it will be taken away. and then the parents need to take it away if the teen does not listen. It would also be helpful to have rules and expectations set before leaving for the zoo.

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Do you know what I find equally annoying. People who get mad at you if you don't answer their text within 10 minutes. If I'm out for the day I shove my phone in the bottom of my bag for emergencies and ignore it. I so hate it when I'm trying to enjoy something and people are calling or texting about stuff that could wait or nothing at all.

 

When people finally contact me they get all snotty because I didn't reply quick enough. So I ask them what they wanted and they say " oh nothing just wanted to say hi ". Grrrr.

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This reminds me of when I was a teen and adults complained about kids wasting time on computers. Now those kids make a fine living through technology and those adults are holding up the check-out line because they still write checks at the grocery store. I'm not sure what's worse at the zoo. Looking at your texts all day, or spending your day watching people text and becoming upset about it. Neither group seems to be focusing on the animals. Also, unless you were stalking the SAME teen, ALL day, your eye could be drawn to whomever is texting at the moment. It could be me texting a picture of the kids with the elephant to my mom in another state. Now I'm branded a detached texter who can't enjoy the zoo!

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Am I the only one who spent hours on the phone talking to my friends when I was growing up? I thought 3 way calling was awesome because then I could talk for hours with two friends instead of just one. I really don't see most teen texting as any different. My teen dd texts but she usually forgets her phone when we leave the house, so she's not on it all the time. I don't see her friends being compulsive about it either. It just seems to come in bursts here and there throughout the day.

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I think this was what fascinated me about adults when I was a kid - the way they could get so angry about how a kid they dont even know is dressed at the bus stop or wears his hair in a Mohawk or lets his jeans sit too low. I was a rule follower by nature, but I loved the kids who did these little things that could make the adults around me go on venting binges.

 

So I can't help but sort of laugh that a kid texting his friend to say, "I am at the zoo, this is so lame" can be so infuriating to an adult who isn't his mother and doesn't even know him. Does the old guy sitting in thd bench reading a newspaper make you as mad?

 

I don't text that much unless I am out of town and staying in touch with my dh. But kids texting doesn't bother, though I don't allow it at meals, in class, etc.

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I see many adults who are just as bad if not worst than teens--maybe not just texting, but with phone in hand checking emails, posting on facebook, etc.

 

The other day when I finished a transaction at the bank drive-through the teller thanked me for not being on my cellphone. She said her last three customers had been on their phones and hadn't spoken a word to her.

 

I did spend a lot of time talking to my friends on the phone when I was a teen. I think the difference now is that it's mobile so it never shuts off.

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I don't know too many teens who would be interested in the zoo. At all. Maybe if they were in charge of the outing/showing little kids things. But along for the day with parents and little kids? Before texting, they would have been separating themselves in some other way.

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I am SO not like this. That's why I never "got" twitter.

 

 

Twitter is not about reporting every minute of your life. It's a surprisingly dynamic and effective news source. I don't use it much now, but when I was working, it was like a professional conference with huge amounts of links on my field whenever I needed it. I could also tweet a WWYD and get tons of professional input from colleagues near and far in seconds. I used to think it was all about "I just bought a hotdog!" posts and I stayed away. I was very wrong. It's also a great way to get updates on news situations around the globe. During the Arab Spring and the Egyptian protests, it was my best source of information, hands down.

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I suppose it can be a problem, weird that they would do so at the zoo.

In defense of texting though, there are times it is a huge blessing too. I spent all last month communicating via text from the hospital so I wouldn't disturb my Mom. Group texts were also incredibly helpful. Most of the family was at work so keeping them updated in a single text with the conversation going to everyone was wonderful.

Day to day, I text my sisters just to say hi, I know they haven't got time to chat on the phone but we like to keep in touch in little ways.

My teen and tween text here and there daily but not to an excessive amount, nor would they dare to do it when family things are going on, around company or meals or anything of the sort.

My BFF and I text frequently as well because she works at the library and it is the best way to work on our class together without her having to go outside.

I text photos to my sisters as well on a regular basis and they do the same.

I often text my husband so he isn't interrupted at work and I know he will get it later when he has a chance.

I don't enjoy talking on the phone, never have but I do so much appreciate daily communication with my family.

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I can see why teens text when they are at the zoo... the probably have to go, accompanying little ones, and are really just terribly bored and prefer to converse with their friends. Can't blame them.

Now, cell phones at dinner, that's another matter.

 

When I was a teen, I talked for hours with my friends, in person or on the phone. This generation of teens just has other technological means to satisfy this same need.

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Meh. When I was a teen, I did not have a cell phone. However I did spend hours on the house phone talking friends. I would not have had that option at the zoo, but by the time I was a teen, I would not have been terribly interested in the zoo anyway. I would likely have spent time with my nose in a book. It is probably easier to text and walk than to read a book and walk. And the book I would have chosen for such an adventure would have been about as valuable as those text messages. Or, I would have spent the time whining and driving my mother insane. Like it or not, most of those teens have probably seen a zoo a hundred times in their lives. They are much more interested in other things at this point in their lives. I don't even particularly love to hang out at the zoo. I spend the whole time chasing my kids, so I'm hardly bored, but if I had no kids it wouldn't be much fun.

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I agree and it drives me absolutely crazy. Unfortunately, it's not just the teenagers though. There are entirely too many ADULTS who act the very same way. It makes me happy that my 13 yr. old almost never even brings his cell phone with him anywhere unless I ask him to or if he's going somewhere without us.

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Teens and a Zoo seem like a disconnect set up; younger humans and older humans would be interested but teen brains? Not so much.

 

Really? Why would teens not be interested in a zoo? This makes no sense to me. Maybe my 13 yr. old is different then, but in the summer we visit our local zoo at least once a week and he often asks to go more frequently than that. Because it's 20+ min. away I refuse to go more than once a week. :)

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When I was a teen back in the 80's, I would have died if I couldn't talk to my friends on the phone every day. And I'm talking about friends that were in my apartment complex. My mom had to get the 2-way calling because I was on the phone all the time. I'm sure I would have been a texter if we had that back then.

 

Oh, and the zoo would have been totally uncool when I was that age. :)

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I just want to say that there are some teens who DO like the zoo and actually enjoy going to one. My own teen and bonus student are two. I was that teen. I thoroughly enjoyed it then and we all enjoy it now. In fact, we go to our local theme park at least once a month. My teens spend as much time looking at the animals and attending the zoo talks/shows as they do riding the rides.

 

And I'm one of those parents who simultaneously has the phone to take a photo with (usually post to facebook for family who may not be present to see) and a camera attached to my face. I don't disengage from reality, but I do check facebook frequently and I do answer and talk in texts frequently. But we have manners as well--never during a show or a talk. At lunch or walking around? I pay no mind to that unless my teen is remaining glued to the phone. If they are answering a text, walking, talking, observing, and answering a text--no big deal.

 

It's the day and age.

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I will admit having my nose in my phone a lot during our last zoo trip. DH was at work, so I was texting him pictures and funny things the kids were saying before I forgot. I also prefer to use the map and stuff off the zoo's website, since ours were flying all over the place in the wind. Plus, even though it was a nice day, it was still winter, and many of the animals were still hiding or staying pretty far out of site. I could look up a picture and say, "Okay, here's what's supposed to be in there!"

 

Of course, a group of teens might not be doing all that, but it's better than the "try to rock the zoo train off the tracks" the kids used to do on field trips when I was that age. Or shoplifting from the gift shop (gifted class trip, go figure...).

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I'm guessing it's part texting, part web surfing, part apps too new for us old people to even know about. There are teens who don't get sucked in. My neice rarely uses her phone, and she and my nephew are both rarely (VERY rarely) on FB or the computer other than for school. They rock!

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Heh, if we had small cell phones with affordable plans when I was a teen, my parents and their friends would have said the exact. same. thing.

 

People communicate. It's human nature. Kids grow up. Can't be helped. Part of growing up is communicating with people outside family, people with similar interests as opposed to just people within the same surroundings.

 

When our teens are our age, they'll find something their teens do that they *never* would have, forgetting they would have if they could. Meanwhile, I'll be yelling at people to get off my lawn.

 

Either that, or I'll be so completely fraught with dementia that I won't remember which lawn is mine and neighbors will yell at me to get off theirs, or at least put my clothes back on.

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It's not just teens. We were at an awards banquet for my dd's basketball team, and the parents at the next table were texting through the whole ceremony. My 15 yr old dd doesn't text because she doesn't have a phone yet :sneaky2: . She'll get one when she starts driving.

 

I agree that if there had been cell phones back in the day, it would be exactly the same. I use to tie up the phone line every night talking to my girlfriend. It didn't matter that we had been at school together all day. Cell phones have made it so public though.

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I see a lot of people ages 45ish and under using their phones. I don't mind if they have their heads buried in their phones, although I wish they could be in the present and enjoy what's in front of them. While I type this, I'm thinking of the 30-something dad who took his 2 young children to the park and spent 95% of his time with the phone up to his face with his 2 kids saying, "Watch me, Daddy!" over and over again. He'd give a grunt of acknowledgement and barely look up at his beautiful kids.

 

What gets me is people walking around while trying to look at their phone at the same time. I've had people just stop dead in front of me to deal with their phone, or mosey at a snail's pace while they're texting. MOVE TO THE SIDE, PEOPLE. To me, this is the ultimate in bad manners. There are people having to go around you :cursing: and you're blocking the aisle/sidewalk/path. (I'm not a wanderer, I'm a get-there-get-it-done kind of person.)

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The non teen generation has *always* complained about something the newest teens do/don't do.

 

 

I agree. However, sometimes the older generation may have a point.

 

 

Some would come to an 1.5 hr. youth group and be texting off and on for most of it. I started telling them, "If you're going to be here, BE here."

 

 

I think this is why it bothers me. I hate restaurants with TVs filling every nook and cranny. If I wanted to watch TV, I would get cable and stay home. I don't go to restaurants because I enjoy watching my boys zone out in front of a screen. (I totally understand having a TV at a sports bar. It's the family restaurants with them everywhere that bother me.)

 

I get annoyed at all the kids bringing their DSes everywhere because then my kids watch to sit and watch them play, rather than play with other kids at whatever event we're at.

 

I'm not sure what's worse at the zoo. Looking at your texts all day, or spending your day watching people text and becoming upset about it. Neither group seems to be focusing on the animals. Also, unless you were stalking the SAME teen, ALL day, your eye could be drawn to whomever is texting at the moment.

 

 

I think my post gave some people the impression that all the texting made me angry. It didn't. It's more like, "Can't they enjoy the zoo without being glued to their phone all day?"

 

Am I the only one who spent hours on the phone talking to my friends when I was growing up?

 

 

I spent a lot of time on the phone, too, at least at ages where I wasn't old enough to drive and see my friends in person. However, I think there's a difference between texting a lot at home (or while waiting in line or something) and doing it all day at a place that is supposed to be fun.

 

The other day when I finished a transaction at the bank drive-through the teller thanked me for not being on my cellphone. She said her last three customers had been on their phones and hadn't spoken a word to her.

 

I did spend a lot of time talking to my friends on the phone when I was a teen. I think the difference now is that it's mobile so it never shuts off.

 

 

Our DMV has signs about not using cell phones at the counter. When I went earlier this week, they had added additional signs saying that all hands-free sets and texting were also banned at the counter. I'm guessing it has become a real problem.

 

I can see why teens text when they are at the zoo... the probably have to go, accompanying little ones, and are really just terribly bored and prefer to converse with their friends. Can't blame them.

 

 

I would understand more in that case. But the teens I saw texting were all in groups, not with their parents and younger siblings. When they are already there with their friends, why not just talk to their friends?

 

 

When our teens are our age, they'll find something their teens do that they *never* would have, forgetting they would have if they could.

 

 

I'm sure that's true. It's just the way everything works. But sometimes they'll be right. "Those teenagers! When I was their age I never tried to text and drive my flying car at the same time!"

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I would understand more in that case. But the teens I saw texting were all in groups, not with their parents and younger siblings. When they are already there with their friends, why not just talk to their friends?

 

 

 

Some of them probably were texting with each other. Do I understand it? No. But it's not going to hurt anyone.

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I think that texting is okay in moderation. If you are with people, then BE WITH them. Don't look at your phone every two minutes. No phones at the dinner table....during church....during a movie....during school work.

 

My nephew is 17 and lives with us. DH told him the other day that he had over 1500 texts that month (and that was only outgoing and not the incoming ones). He seemed proud. And this is the same nephew that cannot talk to people and is too scared to make phone calls or chat with a friend on the phone. Hello??!!! It's partly due to texting! People don't know how to converse anymore.

 

Texting is great for a quick question or when someone is somewhere that they can't talk on the phone....but not non stop texting.

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My teen daughter who does text but didn't at the zoo since she loves looking at the animals did have a complaint. All the wrong info she kept hearing teachers? Day care workers? not quite sure who they were but they were teaching children incorrect information. And it wasn't like we knew everything but when the sign says it is a cheetah and lives in Africa, don't tell the kids it is a jaguar and lives in Mexico. It was this level of stupidity that was really annoying her.

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While I type this, I'm thinking of the 30-something dad who took his 2 young children to the park and spent 95% of his time with the phone up to his face with his 2 kids saying, "Watch me, Daddy!" over and over again. He'd give a grunt of acknowledgement and barely look up at his beautiful kids.

 

 

Every picture book I've read with the kids that shows a dad at the park, he's got his nose in a book or newspaper, while the kid jumps in puddles or chases pigeons or draws with a stick in the dirt.

 

A couple weeks ago, we took the kids (3.5 and almost 5) to the regional science fair/exhibits/egg hunt in the morning. Then we went to lunch, followed by a trail walk/bike ride and a little bit of soccer practice. After all that was done, the kids ran off onto the playground. You bet I had my phone up to my face, likely on my Kindle app, and so did DH. I'm pregnant, he has a bad back, we spent all morning entertaining the kids, and we were just DONE. It was time for them to find other kids to play with and let us rest a bit. They were happy to play with other kids, but constantly yelling "look at me!" wouldn't have gotten them much attention from us. They needed to go be creative and make up silly games without us for a while. Isn't that what the park is for?

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Am I the only one who spent hours on the phone talking to my friends when I was growing up? I really don't see most teen texting as any different.

 

 

No, you're not. My friends and I tried to get as many classes together in high school as we could. We talked between classes, at lunch, and even during class if we could get away with it. We then came home and called each other on the phone. We stayed on for hours until one or more of us got yelled at to hang up (no call waiting in those days!).

 

I can see why teens text when they are at the zoo... the probably have to go, accompanying little ones, and are really just terribly bored and prefer to converse with their friends. Can't blame them.

Now, cell phones at dinner, that's another matter.

 

When I was a teen, I talked for hours with my friends, in person or on the phone. This generation of teens just has other technological means to satisfy this same need.

 

 

I agree, especially with the bolded. When I was a teen I got dragged to family outings when I would have preferred to stay home, probably to talk on the phone with friends. If the technology existed to allow me to talk with them while I was out, I probably would have used it.

 

Teens? Heck, I couldn't survive a day without texting! LOL, I appear to be in the minority.

 

Signed,

 

Fastest Thumbs in the West

 

 

I have a friend whose teenage daughter teasingly complains that "my mom can faster than I can".

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I think cell phones in general are a big problem. All people who have them are always on them either talking or texting. It is like no one can do anything without their cell phone. Everyone forgot their manners too when these became popular. They ignore the cashiers in stores, their families, etc. I own one, but I don't let it own me.

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Am I the only one who spent hours on the phone talking to my friends when I was growing up? I thought 3 way calling was awesome because then I could talk for hours with two friends instead of just one. I really don't see most teen texting as any different. My teen dd texts but she usually forgets her phone when we leave the house, so she's not on it all the time. I don't see her friends being compulsive about it either. It just seems to come in bursts here and there throughout the day.

 

I couldn't live without the phone as a teen. My parents would punish me by taking away my phone privileges and I felt like I would DIE! My now adult children are very much like this with texting. I'll readily admit that I could not go a day without texting OR talking on the phone. It's how I keep in touch with my family. We have an ongoing joke thread with my extended family that is a riot, my husband texts me periodically during the day and will text me for a grocery list on his way home, my kids and I have group texts where we share pics and stuff, and then we have individual conversations when needed. I like that I can text all of them at once if I'm in a hurry, about to get on a plane, going in a meeting, church, etc. They do the same. It keeps me from worrying about them, and it keeps them from wondering where I am if I don't answer.

 

Honestly, I don't know how our parents survived without being able to check on us when we were away from home. I think I'd likely go insane if I couldn't contact my children easily!

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Okay, I went to AT&T and looked at our stats for texting. I could only get the current cycle which has 17 days of usage. So far here's the breakdown:

 

husband - 185 texts

one dd - 2,343 texts

another dd - 5,278 texts

son - 2,549 texts

me - 5,683 texts

 

I'm ashamed that I beat out my youngest dd, who is my most obsessed texter. These are numbers for just a little over HALF a month!

 

My oldest dd texts a lot also, but she is not on my plan.

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It is interesting.

 

Back when cell phones started becoming more popular (as in, kids started carrying them), we had a rule that you couldn't even have the phone ON during school hours, not even in the lunch area or outside.

 

Then the rule changed so that students could have it on OUTSIDE the building, which included lunch time (I worked in SoCal so we were always outside.)

 

Then the rule changed again and you could have them on all the time, but not using them during class time. This is when the problems began in full force. It is darn near impossible to regulate 35 kids in your class who seem to all want to have their phones on and "hidden" under their books while they text most of the class period. By this phase I was no longer teaching but in the counseling office. I had so many students kicked out of class and sent to my office for texting. It got quite ridiculous.

 

I am no longer working and haven't been for over 6 years, so I can just imagine how much worse it has gotten with the inception of the iphone and android devices.

 

Dawn

 

Ugh, I'm with you. I taught jr. high in 2007 and 8 of my 10 6th graders had their own phones, with texting. The school rules allowed them to use them between classes as well as at lunch. Like they had time between classes to get their stuff and chat with someone not on campus! I was the "young" teacher, so I loved shocking them with how primitive my HS years were. I actually had to *gasp* go to the office to call my mom! And *gasp* it had to be for something serious enough to get through the office staff's questioning.

 

I now teach at my church youth group. 95% of the kids are homeschooled, and a large portion of them are hooked on texting. Some would come to an 1.5 hr. youth group and be texting off and on for most of it. I started telling them, "If you're going to be here, BE here." and most of them have cut back. We had a lock-in for the girls and we didn't think to make it a no-phone/IPOD event, but we will next time. When I was a teen no one wanted to waste time talking to someone who wasn't there unless it was an emergency. You were there to hang out WITH your physically present friends.

 

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Every picture book I've read with the kids that shows a dad at the park, he's got his nose in a book or newspaper, while the kid jumps in puddles or chases pigeons or draws with a stick in the dirt.

 

A couple weeks ago, we took the kids (3.5 and almost 5) to the regional science fair/exhibits/egg hunt in the morning. Then we went to lunch, followed by a trail walk/bike ride and a little bit of soccer practice. After all that was done, the kids ran off onto the playground. You bet I had my phone up to my face, likely on my Kindle app, and so did DH. I'm pregnant, he has a bad back, we spent all morning entertaining the kids, and we were just DONE. It was time for them to find other kids to play with and let us rest a bit. They were happy to play with other kids, but constantly yelling "look at me!" wouldn't have gotten them much attention from us. They needed to go be creative and make up silly games without us for a while. Isn't that what the park is for?

:thumbup:

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I think cell phones in general are a big problem. All people who have them are always on them either talking or texting. It is like no one can do anything without their cell phone. Everyone forgot their manners too when these became popular. They ignore the cashiers in stores, their families, etc. I own one, but I don't let it own me.

 

 

No, not all people.

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I have to be one of the weirdos. Half the time I don't even know where my phone is. And if I know where it is the sound is not on. It has gotten to the point that my friends can't get me they will call dd's phone to tell her to tell me to find my phone.

 

I suppose it is some form of rebellion in relation to dh's obsessive nature with his phone.

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My teen daughter who does text but didn't at the zoo since she loves looking at the animals did have a complaint. All the wrong info she kept hearing teachers? Day care workers? not quite sure who they were but they were teaching children incorrect information. And it wasn't like we knew everything but when the sign says it is a cheetah and lives in Africa, don't tell the kids it is a jaguar and lives in Mexico. It was this level of stupidity that was really annoying her.

 

Oh that drives my son and I nuts, too.

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