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Things I like to do to drive my children batty.


Remudamom
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Wave back at the little people on Farmville.

 

Deepen my Southern accent.

 

Walk through the house with my laundry roller hollering "Bring out your dead"

 

Demonstrate my Rebel Yell in public.

 

Hum in Walmart.

 

Watch Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty and Swamp People.

 

What do you do?

 

ETA- can't drive dh batty. He enjoys the hijinks.

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I do the laundry " bring out your dead" too!!!

 

I like to push my pants halfway down my butt with my granny undies showing, stick out my butt, walk around the house saying, "yo, yo, my homies!" while flashing my version of gang signs.

 

The boys hate that. (lol)

 

So thankful I didn't have coffee in my mouth!!!

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I had to drop off my 17 year old at college ( he normally catches the train) As I went around the block to return I happened to see him going towards the entrance. I wound down the windows, beep-beep-beeped the horn & DD3 & I raced off yelling "YOO-HOO, D-----" :hurray: I think it took him all day to recover. He only forgave me after dinner :laugh:

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I need a spit-take icon!

 

Such great ideas! Thanks, gang!

 

This morning on the way to school DD11 said I sing creepy songs, so I sang Away In A Manger in an over-the-top, EXUBERANT little kid voice with a touch of Carol Channing. Massive giggles, followed by impromptu singing by all! They are starting to get me -- must up my game!

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Wear striped knee socks with capri pants - in Walmart.

Tell only the first half of jokes (I usually forget the punchlines anyway so I've stopped trying).

When they are driving, I ride in the passenger seat with my eyes covered moaning "OOOOOO NOOOOO, Mr. Bill" !

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I enjoy coming up with elaborate answers to some of their questions and going on and on with a straight face.

Mom, is Dad's bike really that old?

Well, back when he bought it they hadn't invented steel yet, so the frame is made out of gingerbread that they ley get really, really stale. For paint, of course they didn't have safe, colorful paints like we do today, do they mixed mud with lead and thats why it is that hideous broen color....

 

My older two are just getting too old. So sad.

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"sing" (I use that term loosely) the tunes from Shurley English (esp. the one about articles)...and especially when they are being slow about writing,spelling, grammar ,etc.

When they ask.."Mom, do you know what?"... I answer "Sure, I know lots of things, which one da ya want to know?"

Talk in a British or French accent when they are being lazy bums...or just to generally get them going faster...seems to work for some reason

When they repeatedly call out "Mom, Mom, Mom"... I reply "That's my name, say it again and I"ll tell you the same".... drives DS9 UP.THE.WALL!!!

Speak like my dad (he's from SE MO..ya know...warsh, wrastling...etc)...

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I enjoy coming up with elaborate answers to some of their questions and going on and on with a straight face.

Mom, is Dad's bike really that old?

Well, back when he bought it they hadn't invented steel yet, so the frame is made out of gingerbread that they ley get really, really stale. For paint, of course they didn't have safe, colorful paints like we do today, do they mixed mud with lead and thats why it is that hideous broen color....

 

My older two are just getting too old. So sad.

 

Classic! I once (in college) gave my circle of friends a lecture on how snow grows on trees in the mountains (using the weather outside as an illustration). I took questions and answered them -- even described the high-level wind patterns that carry the snow from the mountain trees across the continent. Amazingly, one friend (foreign, and unused to leg-pulling) thought for a moment that I was actually serious.

 

Sadly, I can't resurrect that one for my kids. No snow, no mountains down here.

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"sing" (I use that term loosely) the tunes from Shurley English (esp. the one about articles)...and especially when they are being slow about writing,spelling, grammar ,etc.

 

This morning I started in on the Backpack song from Dora the Explorer when they forgot to grab their packs. They are DD11 & DD8 -- the looks were priceless.

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Wake ds9 up by singing the song I learned at Girl Scout camp may, many moons ago..."I'm alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic..." He's really NOT a morning person, lol.

 

Sing and dance to any music playing in any store we happen to be in. Though depending on his mood and the song, sometimes he joins me on that one. He's a cool kid. :thumbup1:

 

Correct his form when he decides to goof around and "play karate".

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Hmm, I think I may be doing this parenting thing all wrong. My main goal has been to minimize them driving me batty. I didn't realize it would be more fun to do it to them. I am just not very creative. My goal for the day is to find two things that will drive them batty, that is fun for me to do. :-D

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I dance in the car when we are at a red light.

I have been known to bust a move in a department store.

I will sing in the car when the windows are open.

 

I have been know to shout "To the minivan and beyond!"

 

If I say we are chillaxing my oldest has a fit.

 

I do believe I need to start shouting "bring out your dead" We did have "Tis only a flesh wound" going for awhile.

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I like to remind Indy of how awesome I plan to dance in front of his friends if he doesn't listen to me. I put on a show of my sweet moves in the kitchen or LR. He usually listens to me, if for no other reason than to keep me from actually doing it in front of his friends.

 

I also dance at red lights. I am an AMAZING red light dancer.

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I crank the radio and "sing" along loudly when the older kids argue in the car.

 

If they can't get along at home (which, admittedly, is not often), I've been known to make them hold hands and sing the Barney song.

 

Answer "To the moon!" when they ask where we're going.

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I like to push my pants halfway down my butt with my granny undies showing, stick out my butt, walk around the house saying, "yo, yo, my homies!" while flashing my version of gang signs.

 

The boys hate that. (lol)

 

Pix or it didn't happen! :)

 

I suppose my kid probably wanted to hide when he came out of math team practice with his friends only to see his father and me doing our best seated Bollywood moves in the car. I wish I could say we'd done it on purpose,

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I say evil things like:

 

"You don't have to like it, you just have to eat it."

 

"I don't understand complaints, ask me a question."

 

"Hey is for horses..."

 

 

I also add their names to songs and then accidentally sing our silly version in public. Oops.

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I like to remind Indy of how awesome I plan to dance in front of his friends if he doesn't listen to me. I put on a show of my sweet moves in the kitchen or LR. He usually listens to me, if for no other reason than to keep me from actually doing it in front of his friends.

 

I also dance at red lights. I am an AMAZING red light dancer.

 

I do this also. Once, in Africa my kids would not go to the bathroom when we stopped. It was five hours to the next place to go to the bathroom because hey, we are not pulling over at the side of the road in Africa. So I told them I would dance right there in front of all the tourists at the bathroom if they did not go to the bathroom. What do you know, they did!

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Give them hugs and kisses when they're being snippy in public.

 

Sing to them in public whatever random song fits. If the child's being difficult, it's Taylor Swift's "Trouble." Rap to them Will Smith's "Parents Just Don't Understand."

 

Try to make them laugh when they really want to stay angry.

 

Require them to take a shower and brush their teeth and hair. Drives them up the wall!

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Answer "To the moon!" when they ask where we're going.

 

 

I always say "Crazy," when Indy asks where we're going.

 

I have a menu board up with our dinner listed and every single night he asks what's for dinner. I always tell him "Food," which makes him nuts. He still has some trouble reading cursive (mostly because he doesn't like to), so I finally told him if he couldn't read it, he couldn't eat it. Guess how quickly he learned to read cursive?

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I gave up. Mine are more warped than I am, so they just find me funny. I can't seem to embarrass them.

 

I knew I was in trouble when we walked into the eye doctor about 2 years ago and someone asked me where I got all the handsome boys. I replied "Walmart." Then one of them said, without missing a beat, "We were on clearance."

 

ETA: I thought of something!! Every time I see a picture of them when they're younger, I proclaim in a loud southern voice "My Baby!!". Yeah, they don't like that one much :D.

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Say "up-see daisy" when it's time to head upstairs to get ready for bed.

Call my 9yr old Baby Bear.

Call my 6yr old Baby Boy.

Bite my lip.

Chip my nails.

 

My poor Dh has a habit of chipping his nails too and oldest ds calls him out on it every.single.time.

 

ETA: I also belt out "Mommy's the Champion" to the tune of Queen's "We are the Champions" when I beat oldest ds in any game (he's really competitive and knows that I am not).

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I don't know that I do anything intentionally but I have OCD and I always have to walk around the car to make sure it's centered in the parking spot and check the doors and trunk to be sure they are locked and look in the window to see that the car is off. It's a brand new keyless car and it will start honking and beeping if I walk away with my key fob while it's running.

 

The other thing I can't control is I cannot hear in my right ear, at all. So if I am shopping and someone says "excuse me" to get by I don't always here them and my kids let me know. They are not mean or rude about it, they know I can't always hear but I know it annoys them.

 

I don't think they like it to much when I use to drop them off at school or a friends house and I'd yell out 'I love you, I'll miss you". I loved it, they hated it.

 

I have a bad habit of calling them by their toddler names like "Mikey" instead of their preferred older kid name Mike or Michael. They will correct me or give me the evil eye.

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I do so many of the ones already listed:

 

~ singing and dancing - at home or in public - drives them nuts either way :) Bonus battiness if I make them join me in the dancing by grabbing their hands and swinging them around while I dance like a madwoman.

~ "I want...." is answered with "Yes, well *I* want a million dollars." or "I want a clean house/kids who listen, etc."

~ "Where are we going?" Answer: Crazy

~ "What are we eating for (meal time)?" Answer: "Probably food, if you're good." Although I have been known to come up with elaborate "recipes" composed of household items in answer to this question. Ie: Cat Hair & DishSoap Casserole with side of construction paper salad. :p

~ Grab them and give them big kisses and hugs and tell them how much I love them when they're "in a mood."

 

I also dare them NOT to smile when they've got a pout going on.

 

Mostly though, I expect them to do schoolwork, chores, and practice good hygiene. That pretty much drives them right up the wall.

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ETA: I also belt out "Mommy's the Champion" to the tune of Queen's "We are the Champions" when I beat oldest ds in any game (he's really competitive and knows that I am not).

 

 

Stealing this and making it mine! The kids are going to LOVE this!

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Oh, I'm all over this one!

 

When he's being a butt-head, I make up lyrics to "Copa Cabana" and sing them. "Daniel is grumpy, he wants to pou-out," Etc.

 

I do the Electric Slide in front of their friends.

 

I do the "Cabbage Patch" (badly!), when they make me wait on them w/o good reason.

 

When I drop ds off at school, Lord help him if "Thrift Shop" is on the radio in carpool line, b/c the last time it came on, I turned up the base, put the seat in my car low and far back, put one hand on the steering wheel, and blasted the radio with the windows down. I may or may not have nodded my head to the beat.

 

When he says "My bad," or some other phrase like "True dat," I play along, too. "Mommy don't play that, home slice." "Yo-yo-yo, Mommy in DA HOUSE!" and so on. He loves it. //sarcasm (But he does stop saying things that are ridiculous! ;)

 

As my 19-year-old would say, I am the "ebil kitteh of DOOM." ;)

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"You can't always get what you want...." whenever they ask for something in the store or start whining about what they don't have or can't do.

They hate that song. :D

 

 

 

I've done that. Mine hate it, too.

 

My oldest just reminded me that when I knock on his door and he asks "who is it?" I usually answer with "Candygram. No I am not the landshark."

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I can't think of what I do to drive my daughter batty right now, but I did used to watch "New Zoo Review" with Henrietta Hippo to drive my sister crazy when I was a child (probably about 5 or 6). I am the youngest and hardly ever got to do anything I wanted to. I didn't even like "New Zoo Review", but I knew my sister hated it and my mother let me watch it so I did.

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I wave at the Liberty Tax person (someone dressed up like the Statue of Liberty waving on the street corner outside of their tax office).

 

When in Home Depot or Lowes and I'm separated from my dh and looking for him because I am ready to go, I honestly answer the staff who ask me if they can help me find anything, "Yes, I'm looking for a man." My youngest hates that. I can't imagine why. The look on the sales clerk's face is always hilariously funny!

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Oh geez. So much is a spur of the moment take off of whatever they're doing...

 

Wolf and I will make out. Like, some cheesy soap opera B movie drama fest, swooning and making slurping noises while our back is to Diva...she can't actually SEE if anything's going on, but totally grosses her out

 

I make big eyes at Wolf when he wanders by in a towel

 

Basically, any implication that Mommy has hormones and doesn't think Daddy's a troll tends to make Diva batty. Or Wolf acting like I might be attractive.

 

"Where you going?" "Crazy, and you're driving!"

 

Singing and dancing at the grocery store.

 

I'll launch into "Who's on first" routine, unprovoked. And they haven't really figured it out, so they unwittingly play along.

 

Announce my name is now, "Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious" and refuse to respond until it's pronounced perfectly.

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I can't think of what I do to drive my daughter batty right now, but I did used to watch "New Zoo Review" with Henrietta Hippo to drive my sister crazy when I was a child (probably about 5 or 6). I am the youngest and hardly ever got to do anything I wanted to. I didn't even like "New Zoo Review", but I knew my sister hated it and my mother let me watch it so I did.

 

It's quite an unusual thing...the animals dance and sing!

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Mine is a pre-teen, so she doesn't usually get upset by what I do. She's right there with me.

I know that's about to come crashing down.

Her sister especially hated me riding on the back of shopping trollies down the isles and car-park.

This dd loves and encourages it, usually from in the trolly. (I don't need much encouragement). Get a run up, jump on the back and coast. If fast enough, with enough clearance, it can even turn and keep heading in a straight line. Then jump off and brake hard before it connects with food, other shoppers, cars etc.

We also sing and dance with much enthusiasm in the car, especially at lights.

So I'll have to change from shared fun to malicious fun.

I think I can step up and manage that.

I've had practice.

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I know this doesn't drive them batty, but it makes them laugh and moan, as I can't sing (although I am not a horrible dancer. lol

 

I have a couple of little Broadway songs and dances I Do Big, just as taught in high school drama classes. ;).

 

One is the entire routine of "I'm Just a Girl WHo Can't Say No", from Oklahoma. A special fav (of mine) is my own solo song and dance version of "I am 16 Going On I7".

 

Another of my standards is "I Feel Pretty", which I have preformed during/after a long, unshowered, drama-filed morning of hsing,

 

 

Oh, this is right up my alley. When kids are crabby, I often break out in a full on Annie style "The Sun will come out Tomorrow!". Most of my kid embarassment/annoyance comes through singing. Or muttering at other driver's when I'm driving. Muhahaha!

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