Brilliant Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I just used the word "housewife" in the frump thread, and it reminded me of an experience I had last month. I had to get a security clearance for something - well, that sounds mysterious, doesn't it? ;) When I filled out the online application, there was no category for "homemaker" as an occupation. I had to choose "unemployed" as the best option. When I went in for the interview, the agent (who was under 30) asked if I was married, then when he got down to the the occupation part, he said, "Oh, so you're a housewife" and jotted something down. I laughed and said, "yeah, there wasn't a category for that." I didn't feel patronized by the term, but then wondered later if I should have. ;) (BTW - I've always used "homeschool teacher" as my occupation before, but I don't feel comfortable with that anymore. My youngest is a senior this year, but all of his courses are outsourced. So I'm not doing any of the actual schooling. Maybe I can say I'm "retired"?) What do you think - is housewife bad? Homemaker better? Homeschooler? Retired? Unemployed? What are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemosyne Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I personally don't really like the term. I don't freak out if someone calls me that, though. I call myself a stay at home mom or self-employed (I have a business I currently run from home). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susie in SWVA Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I am not married to a house. Homemaker is fine. Susie in SWVA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 ... I call myself a stay at home mom and homeschooler. ... I call myself a stay at home mom or self-employed (I have a business I currently run from home). Oh, I forgot about that one. I used to use "stay at home mom" when my kids were younger, especially if I didn't want to get into the homeschool topic. But again it's not appropriate for me now. "I'm a stay at home mom." "Oh, how old are your kids?" "They are 17 and 19, both in college." ha ha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 We use housewife for government forms back home. We use unemployed if we were retrenched recently if married or not working if single. Some housewives have live-in domestic help. Hubby joking introduce me as "the financial controller" to his friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I think housewife is an old-fashioned version of homemaker. I would be more demoralized by "unemployed". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I don't care for the term (or other terms like it, e.g. homemaker). It just rubs me the wrong way. I refer to myself as "self-employed". After leaving the corporate world four years ago, I started up my own business. Although I've put the business on hold for the time being (it was too much to keep up with along with homeschooling), I still use that term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I don't mind it. I've never even thought on it, though. I like write-ins. "High Priestess" "Head Hoobala" "Office of Instances" "Leeroy Jenkins" "Mrs. Jeff Goldblum" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeschoolMamaOfTwo Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I wouldn't correct someone if they said it, but I wouldn't choose that term on my own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I don't particularly like the term. I did not marry a building. Nor did I marry Mt. Laundry, the Everest of my county though sometimes I wish I could divorce it! Thankfully, I have an out. I was a professional musician before dh and I married, and I still do some performing here or there so I write that in or check "other" and let them fume about it. Generally, these kinds of forms seem to be seeking pay check oriented information and I charge dh deeply :biggrinjester: , but there isn't any way to get around some of this so professional musician works. However, the only time I've been offended by the term was when one of Dh's co-workers used it as an insult. The funny thing was she was the one who was expressing ignorance at the time. The discussion at the meal was about classical music. When I was asked my opinion by dh's boss, she immediately yelped, "She has nothing to add to the discussion. She's just a housewife!" Dh's boss, bless him, asked if I'd like to try out his Yamaha baby grand piano, so I sat down and played Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, all three movements, from memory. When I was done, I turned around and asked her if we could pick up that discussion about classical music again - in particular her erroneous assertions about music written from 1810 - 1830. She wasn't amused, but she was better behaved towards me the rest of the evening. Snicker, snicker...I have a mean streak and though I try very hard to control it, sometimes the bear gets out of the cage! Otherwise, I tend to not think about the term much. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 ... However, the only time I've been offended by the term was when one of Dh's co-workers used it as an insult. The funny thing was she was the one who was expressing ignorance at the time. The discussion at the meal was about classical music. When I was asked my opinion by dh's boss, she immediately yelped, "She has nothing to add to the discussion. She's just a housewife!" ... What is wrong with people? How did she get so far in life by being such a rude jerk? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kidlets4me Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I refer to myself as stay at home mom. I have no problem with housewife or homemaker. I am not unemployed. That seems to convey that I wish I had a job but currently don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I don't think about it much, but when I do I would rather be called something else,. I am NOT a wife to my house. I'm a wife and mother. I chose to stay home. However, it does't necessarily offend me - depending on the tone in which it is said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 What is wrong with people? How did she get so far in life by being such a rude jerk? Well, I don't think she made it that far. Truly, she was only on the account for about 18 months and the boss let her go. My best guess is that her jerkiness got her. I mean, this was a pretty tight knit bunch of IT geeks that were really pretty supportive of each other and that kind of thing probably didn't go far. Dh never said and he may never have known why she was canned. He just reported with relief that she had been pink slipped. It was not a "downsizing" because her position was filled immediately. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I'm not overly fond of housewife. I use SAHM if I need to specify. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I kind of like "housewife." Something about the retro nature of the word appeals to me. It sounds tidy. Of course, my previous job titles were "telemarketer" and "lawyer." "Housewife" tends to get a much more positive reception. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 I kind of like "housewife." Something about the retro nature of the word appeals to me. It sounds tidy. I think this is why I didn't get offended. It sounded sort of cute & retro. :) And although the majority of posters don't like the term... I was just on my profile (looking at the pesky social group thing) and decided to change my "title" to housewife. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 The term doesn't bother me much. It's a word that has been around for a long time. I usually say I'm a stay at home mom, but sometimes I tell people I'm CFO of ....last name.... and associates. I do pay the bills and earn my family money all the time by cooking at home, etc... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 n/a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I used to get upset about the term, but after getting comfortable in my own skin and with my life I no longer care what people call me (I would prefer it be appropriate for my kids to hear ;)). Housewife makes no sense, because I am not married to my house, but hey, most people do not put that much thought into what they are saying, so I try not to take offense to much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I'm a proud housewife. I'm not fond of the term "stay at home mom." It's an inelegant mouthful, and anyways, I'm a wife first and mom second. I don't mind homemaker, I just don't like it quite as much as housewife. Not sure why. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callie Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I refer to myself as stay at home mom. I have no problem with housewife or homemaker. I am not unemployed. That seems to convey that I wish I had a job but currently don't. Agreed. I'm neutral on housewife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callie Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I once saw a report by one of my doctors and it said, "doesn't work." Now that would have bothered me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meena Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I refer to myself as stay at home mom. I have no problem with housewife or homemaker. I am not unemployed. That seems to convey that I wish I had a job but currently don't. I wish there were separate categories for 'unemployed, seeking employment' and 'unemployed, not seeking employment' to convey when an unemployment status is by choice. I don't really like the term housewife and rarely use it to describe myself or others. I'm not sure why, maybe because it doesn't really describe what I do. I usually say I'm a homeschooling mom. For the OP I would probably say I'm a newly retired home educator. That conveys what you have done in the past and hopefully would show that you are entering a new phase in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charcat13 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I have no problem with it. If someone was using it a derogatory manner I'd be upset with them, but the word itself is just a word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoseInABook Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I typically use stay at home mom. I also dislike checking unemployed because I work my tail off daily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I dislike the term as much as stay at home mom because I dislike having my worth valued on my ability to do things most humans are capable of. I usually go with self employed because I assist my spouse with their business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I usually use homemaker but housewife doesn't bother me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 It sounds quaint and old-fashioned, but it's still much better than domestic engineer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted March 13, 2013 Author Share Posted March 13, 2013 It sounds quaint and old-fashioned, but it's still much better than domestic engineer. I know...isn't that one ridiculous? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Domestic engineer or Mobile Operations Manager is what I prefer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Oh, I forgot about that one. I used to use "stay at home mom" when my kids were younger, especially if I didn't want to get into the homeschool topic. But again it's not appropriate for me now. "I'm a stay at home mom." "Oh, how old are your kids?" "They are 17 and 19, both in college." ha ha. After her dc graduated and went off to college, one friend changed her "title" to stay-at-home wife. And this was well before SAHM was a popular term. One of my work friends referred to it as a Professional Mom. His mom was a SAHM and he thought of her that way. I'm not fond of housewife or homemaker. Those terms make me think of June Cleaver. And I'm so not a June Cleaver. I usually say Full-time Wife and Mom. I know, not much better but there ya go. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I immediately think of the show Real Houswives of the O.C. :blush: I like the way Rosanne said it best: Domestic Goddess :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I'm not overly fond of the term housewife, either. In part, it kind of implies that I'm spending most of my Shannonhouse. Which if you were to see the house, you would certainly not believe. I happen to be abysmally bad at housekeeping. For similar reasons, homemaker seems a bit odd. Perhaps if I was actually good at homemaking, I would feel better about it. SAHM works for now while my kids are young. Once people realize that I have three children, four and under, I don't generally have to deal with questions of what I do all day, at least. When they get older, I suppose I will need a new title. I guess I'll just have to figure that out when I get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I think that I am not married to the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Housewife is an old and honorable title that means a woman in charge of a household or family. Etymologically it goes back to the medieval husewif, which matched with the male husebonde--which changed into husband. I'm happy to be called a housewife, although it doesn't happen often. I work part-time and mostly I get described as a librarian and homeschooling mom, and anyway most people use stay-at-home-mom these days. But I quite like housewife too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 About as much as I think of the word "harlot." Except punctuated with a yawn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I refer to myself as a housewife even though I haven't got a husband. I suppose, seeing how I'm on social security, I could call myself a government employee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Well, Siri calls me "Queen of All She Surveys," but usually I go by SAHM. Housewife, homemaker, etc. don't bother me, but they aren't my adjectives of choice. My biggest pet peeve is when people say, "Oh, so you don't work." I'm quick to follow up,with, "Oh I work! I don't receive a paycheck, but I work harder than I ever did at a 9-5 gig." That usually makes my point, and I get a rueful acknowledgment that I have spoken truth. ;) Of course, I'm not at all trying to imply that women who work outside of the home don't work hard. I know it can be beyond rough to hold an outside position *and* be a mom, because I've had to do it. I'm generally just trying to point out that no paycheck does not equal "not working." Because, y'know, sometimes the point simply begs to be made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocoholic Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 For some reason, every time I hear the word "housewife" I feel like it reminds me of the word "house cat" and it makes me laugh. I hate the term. I think it's ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I think housewife is an old-fashioned version of homemaker. I would be more demoralized by "unemployed". :iagree: I refer to myself as a stay at home mom, but ds is getting older, and as another poster pointed out, how long can I call myself that? I don't know that there's a better term than housewife or homemaker though. While I am unemployed, that seems to have a more negative connotation than the first two. For some reason no one thinks you are unemployed by choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm generally just trying to point out that no paycheck does not equal "not working." Because, y'know, sometimes the point simply begs to be made. I believe the PC phrase is that you "don't work outside the home". :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linders Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Love the word. Would like to get one of them for myself :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I believe the PC phrase is that you "don't work outside the home". :D I still remember from 25 years ago, well before I had kids, when my now-SIL had three kids under 5, one of whom had significant special needs. Some yahoo her husband worked with said, "Do you work?" The iciness with which this 4'11" woman said, "Not outside the home" was enough to frighten half the room into a corner. I'm willing to bet that guy never asked that question again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lanny Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I don’t think my wife would have any problem with being called a Housewife. I remember, probably in 1998 or 1999, she attended a regional Astronomy convention (Latin America, with a few people from the USA and Spain) and that they were very surprised, and very favorably impressed, that a Housewife had so much knowledge of Astronomy. :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm a proud housewife. I'm not fond of the term "stay at home mom." It's an inelegant mouthful, and anyways, I'm a wife first and mom second. I don't like housewife (after all, who is married to her house?). SAHM is clumsy, but when I stayed home, the reason is was that I was a mom and had to take care of young children - I did not stay home to keep house for my husband. ETA: when the kids are grown: None of the women I know whose children are grown and who do not work paid jobs outside the home refer to themselves as "housewifes". They all have other things they do beside keep house for two adults: they are artists, gardeners, artisans, writers, retired... none of them defines herself through her role as housekeeper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
countrygal Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Well, you could list everything that you do and have done... Yes, I am a housewife, homemaker, and I have spent the last 20-something years training and discipling the youth that I bore to be productive members for their homes and society in which I have received eternal payment :) The best thing you can do is be prepared to answer such questions with confidence, no matter what term anyone uses. Those terms are used and thought of differently by everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 To me it sounds sorta like a pet. Like house cat. I don't care for it but I also don't care for SAHM. They aren't bad words, and I don't get my panties in a twist if someone uses it for me. I usually prefer homemaker and jokingly say accidental homemaker (as I had previously been a "WOHM" for most of my time as a mom and sort of stumbled into this by responding to the changed needs of my family and specifically my older son.) Part of transitioning out of most paid work for the foreseeable future has been letting go giving a d@mn about worrying about how or if other people value my work. That meant starting with letting go of gleaning my personal self worth from my job title or lack of job title etc. I don't bother with writing in a title on those forms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Frankly, I prefer to say "unemployed" rather than housewife. People are usually asking to see whether or not you have a paying job. Saying I'm unemployed best answers the meaning behind the question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MicheleinMN Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Home Educator. (Educating my children, myself, or anyone else who wants to join me on the journey.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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