Do you think...

[shanvan]

people should include the ages of their Dc when posting? I've noticed quite a few responses to posts in which the poster does not seem to have BTDT, but I can't quite tell b/c no Dc are listed and no ages.

 

If you are asking questions about a situations with very young children, I would imagine it helps to know if you are getting advice from someone who has btdt, or even if its someone who is right there in the trenches with you. And if a poster with a 5 year old is giving high school advice, it might be helpful to know that he/she is not speaking from a place of experience (not that they might not have a helpful insight). I've read a few posts lately where I wished I had known the ages of the poster's Dc.

 

Of course, some people are very good about being upfront about whether or not they are speaking from experience.

 

Then, a while back, I read a thread in which one poster got very flip with another b/c she didn't have any older kids so how could she even comment---and it turned out the poster had a Dc in college, but just didn't list him/her in the signature and so she was clearly speaking from experience. So, just curious---do you like to know the ages of the poster's Dc?

[Dandelion]

I like to know the ages (because it's helpful to put the response in context, as you said). But I don't think people are under any obligation to disclose that info. It would be nice though if they could use the "BTDT" or "haven't BTDT" qualifier in their response. It doesn't give away any identifying info about their family, but still helps clarify for the OP.

[Dana]

I really liked signatures that had that information (and materials used). I found it incredibly helpful the first few years I was on the boards. With the switch to the new boards though, I'm hiding more and more signatures that get too large. So I tossed mine as well. If I post with a question or comment, I'll sometimes include ds's age if I think it's relevant to the question or reply though.

[shanvan]

I usually include the ages because I think it is helpful, but I agree with Julie that nobody is under any obligation to do so.

 

My question was poorly phrased. I did not mean to imply that everyone 'has to'. I really meant to ask what others prefer. I can't imagine a board mandate or something like that. That would be very strange!

[Tita Gidge]

I don't, and here's why -

 

the less I know about a poster, the more objective I tend to be about their posts.

 

I think some people go the opposite direction (discrediting someone whose bio they don't know).

 

But in general I don't feel that only people in the trenches are best-suited to advise. Sometimes they're the worst, IME.

[Kaleidoscope]

I find its best if I don't think.

[Guest inoubliable]

I include my kiddos' ages out of habit. I did take the info off of my signature, though.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If I need to know the ages and they weren't provided, I ask. No one has ever been offended or said no. I only ask when it is pertinent - because my advice to someone about bedwetting in a 13 year old is going to be very different than with a 3 year old. I don't see that it is all that pertinent if those answering have the ages of their kids listed. Advice is either helpful or not.

[SKL]

If it seems relevant, then yes, I think it's best to include it. Or you could say "when my dd was around that age."

 

I have no plans to put that kind of info in a signature, though. I do enjoy seeing others' info in their siggy, but I'm not going to do it because I want to be as anonymous as possible online.

[regentrude]

I like to see the kids' ages in the signature or text of both the OP who poses a question and of people who respond. It helps me to judge whether I have any meaningful to contribute, and to get a picture of the family situation (since I have only two kids, for example, I am of limited help to posters with large family issues). If I believe the age to be pertinent, I ask.

 

For advice about older kids, yes, it is relevant to me whether the poster has btdt. If I have a high school question, the response of a poster who has already graduated students or has older teens will be more meaningful to me than the advice of a mom with babies and elementary age kids - unless, of course, she offers some more information (for instance, that she is an instructor in that subject).

[Harriet Vane]

I do find it helpful at times, but think the usefulness of that information is limited. Just as an example, when my kids were much younger, I still felt qualified to give advice on teen issues. One reason for this is that I have siblings much younger than me and did virtually parent one in particular. Another reason is that I have a ton of experience with teens due to the nature of the work I did for many years. By the time my dd became a teenager, I already felt like an old hand . That life experience is not something that is obvious from my signature.

[creekland]

I can't really think of any situation I've read about (I don't have time to read ALL the threads) where I haven't been able to discern whose info is relevant and whose isn't based upon the context of the post itself. If in doubt, someone has usually asked before I see the thread. ;)

 

Personally, I'm not sure one has to BTDT to offer good advice. We have a wide variety of experience here on the board (something I treasure) and many can offer valid advice, arguments or options simply pulling from their knowledge banks (work, friends, something they've read, or BTDT). It's up to me to figure out if the advice is something I can use.

 

Then too, advice can vary based upon location or circumstances. What is true in State A might not be true in State B. What is true for Child A might not be true for Child B. Nonetheless, those offering their advice should feel free to share what they feel.

[Seasider]

I have strong reasons for not listing my kids' ages or even all my kids in my sig. But I will answer a pm from a familiar poster if s/he really wants to know.

 

I do like to know that if I ask a question, the advice/input I get back is truly BTDT versus theoretical, kwim?

[dbmamaz]

i admit i find it annoying when ppl dont say the ages of their kids. But much more so when they are asking for curriculum advice! i'm a very open person and it does frustrate me when people want to tell you their opinion without telling you where it comes from. but seriously, this is a forum to talk about educating kids, why wouldnt you say how old your kids are? it goes a long way towards helping people understand where you are coming from. its such a large board that everyone is pretty anonymous, at least to a person like me with a really bad memory.

[Dana]

i admit i find it annoying when ppl dont say the ages of their kids. But much more so when they are asking for curriculum advice!

 

 

Although that can also be just which board you're on. If I'm on the high school board, even if I'm talking about a younger child, I expect advice is being given for the high school level.

[Wheres Toto]

I like seeing ages during curriculum discussions, because it's easier to compare and tell if the items under discussion might be worthwhile for my kids; or during discussions of challenges, because it can be very relevant - as Jean says bedwetting is different for a 3 year old than a 13 year old.

 

That said, I know a lot of people don't update their signatures often and I sometimes see text saying "my 10 year old" when the oldest kid in their signature is 8. :tongue_smilie: I used to have my signature with dates rather than ages, but I don't remember why I changed it back.

[Jan in SC]

My phone doesn't show any signatures. If it's not mentioned in the body of the question, I have no way to know.

 

(There might be an easy fix for this, but I'm clueless!)

[KathyBC]

I find it more distracting when people don't list their kids' ages when asking a question. It's much harder to reply to a post about a child not reading yet if you can't tell whether they are 6 or 10, for instance. More detailed signatures could make it easier for people to quickly shoot off a question, I think.

[elegantlion]

I like seeing the ages or grade/stage level, it's just my preference. I've noticed more personal confusion now that there is a general homeschooling board. I'll start to read a post and then realize they're discussing early elementary, frankly, I've forgotten a lot about early elementary with ds.

 

It's also kind of nice to see who is in the trenches with me, age/grade/level wise.

[Alte Veste Academy]

The more info the better for me. I know some people have valid reasons for restricting information and some people don't like to list ages because they are "hiding" giftedness but I admit I get annoyed sometimes. There are some posters here who seem to expect that people will remember the ages of their kids from previous posts in old threads. My mind is too jam packed for that! Whether it's the OP or someone responding, I like to get a frame of reference. Yes, sometimes people answer questions in areas they are qualified in by way of past experience and this is just as helpful (and sometimes I actually find this input more helpful because these people have experience with many kids as opposed to only their own). But really, most of the time here, posters are responding based on their own experience and I would like to get at least the most basic idea what that experience is.

 

All that said, I know I am guilty of having posted to threads in which I totally deserved the massive eye-rolling I probably got. I searched for a recent post of mine a few days ago and up popped a result from 2008. I was mor. ti. fied. :lol:

[Parrothead]

Meh, If it is critical to know and not in a siggy I have no problem asking.

[gardenmom5]

well - having the ages can add (or detract from) credibility to what the poster is saying. it's up to them if they want to include the information.

[shanvan]

All that said, I know I am guilty of having posted to threads in which I totally deserved the massive eye-rolling I probably got. I searched for a recent post of mine a few days ago and up popped a result from 2008. I was mor. ti. fied. :lol:

 

 

Regardless of my Dc's ages, this is one area I'm qualified to comment on...I've definitely BTDT.

 

I'm also guilty of forgetting what it's like to have to deal with littles and have not taken that into consideration when responding to posts at times.

[GailV]

I don't, and here's why -

 

the less I know about a poster, the more objective I tend to be about their posts.

 

I think some people go the opposite direction (discrediting someone whose bio they don't know).

 

But in general I don't feel that only people in the trenches are best-suited to advise. Sometimes they're the worst, IME.

 

 

Not to pick on this particular poster, but I see several people posting similar thoughts that you really don't care it someone's BTDT.

 

So, then, when asking for homeschooling advice, would it bother you if several of the people answering actually have their kids in public school and have never homeschooled? Or, for that matter, if they don't even have children?

[elegantlion]

Can I just vote this thread for best title of the week? Do you think... sometimes I wonder if I do or not.

[Ottakee]

I have my kids ages in my signatures along with the fact that they are adopted and that we have a foster dd as well. When out and about I do NOT refer to them as adopted, foster, etc. unless it really comes up.....they are just my kids. On the boards though I think it is helpful to quickly see that so and so has adopted kiddos and/or foster ones.

[BigMamaBird]

I am wary of posting anything about my kids in a signature line because I spent some time on another HS board for a while and there were some serious nutcases who got into stalking and even threatening each other. I just feel safer if I don't have any direct identifying info on my kids. I am a member over on the SL boards which are private and I have my kids' genders and ages there because I figure if someone gets out of line there's an accountability structure built in. I can report abuse to a mod and they have direct, real world info on whomever the abuser is and can nip it in the bud.

 

If I'm posting to a particular question with personal experience I would say "when my kid was 4 years old xyz worked for us . . ."

[Myra]

_{I like the ages or grade levels along with curriculum choices in signature lines as they are helpful when I'm thinking about the direction that I might or could take with my boys. And I like the descriptive nicknames that people put there too - they just make be smile a lot and brighten my day!}

 

_Myra

[Julie Smith]

What I find annoying is when people don't say what country they live in.

 

Often in discussions people might say, "That might be how it's done in the US, but over here they do it this way". I'm just left thinking "Over where?"

[wapiti]

All that said, I know I am guilty of having posted to threads in which I totally deserved the massive eye-rolling I probably got. I searched for a recent post of mine a few days ago and up popped a result from 2008. I was mor. ti. fied. :lol:

 

Oh yes. I have often posted when I should have kept my mouth shut; I guess I just felt like blabbing or sharing some little bit that was recent news to me ("have you seen curriculum x?! it looks cool! maybe it might work for you!" lol). Even worse, I've read some old post and thought for a split second that the poster must be crazy, doesn't know what they're talking about, etc. and then realized it was me :tongue_smilie:. I've come across old posts of mine that I don't even remember writing - sometimes they're not that old... sometimes they're from last month.

[regentrude]

 

Not to pick on this particular poster, but I see several people posting similar thoughts that you really don't care it someone's BTDT.

 

So, then, when asking for homeschooling advice, would it bother you if several of the people answering actually have their kids in public school and have never homeschooled? Or, for that matter, if they don't even have children?

 

For me, that would depend ENTIRELY on the question asked. Just to give an example: if a homeschooled student has difficulties grasping math concepts, a person with math teaching expertise could have very valuable insights - even if she has no children at all. If I were in that position, I would include a short remark about my "credentials". (I do that when I comment on something that is related to my area of expertise, because I would consider this important for the reader to know.)

[Tita Gidge]

Not to pick on this particular poster, but I see several people posting similar thoughts that you really don't care it someone's BTDT.

 

So, then, when asking for homeschooling advice, would it bother you if several of the people answering actually have their kids in public school and have never homeschooled? Or, for that matter, if they don't even have children?

 

Would it bother me? No.

 

But I may weigh it differently.

 

I think, for me, it boils down to the parable of the blind men and the elephant.

 

As it pertains to homeschool advice, I've actually received pretty good insight from my best friend (a principal married to a teacher) maybe because she's not in the trenches with me. She brings a fresh, more distinct perspective. Not all of her ideas will work or be relevant, but the diamond in the rough she may offer is worth wading through the rest. She feels the same when I bring a homeschooler's insight to the operation of her school.

 

I prefer to remain open to EVERYONE's input, at which point I can self-select the advice (rather than self-select the group I'm receptive to hearing it from). The only time I may wish to self-select the group is if I'm just venting and the BTDT types will better understand and extend sympathy LOL. That's when I call for my people in the trenches :)

[StartingOver]

I love seeing ages and what they are using for curriculum. For a while I didn't put the shed of my little ones because of negative feedback. But I got over that quickly. :laugh:

[Alte Veste Academy]

Oh yes. I have often posted when I should have kept my mouth shut; I guess I just felt like blabbing or sharing some little bit that was recent news to me ("have you seen curriculum x?! it looks cool! maybe it might work for you!" lol). Even worse, I've read some old post and thought for a split second that the poster must be crazy, doesn't know what they're talking about, etc. and then realized it was me :tongue_smilie:. I've come across old posts of mine that I don't even remember writing - sometimes they're not that old... sometimes they're from last month.

 

Yes, barely recognizable sometimes! The thing is that the kids grow and we all evolve and change. Sometimes it is just plain impossible to remember how much!

[Tammyla]

Can I just vote this thread for best title of the week? Do you think... sometimes I wonder if I do or not.

 

 

:iagree: And I do appreciate seeing the ages.

[Ailey]

I think it's helpful to know the kids' ages for general or life-related questions. For threads about specific a curriculum, it's even more helpful to know how far along the poster's kids are in that subject. For instance, in a conversation about the Art of Problem Solving, it might be more helpful for a poster to say "DD is about to finish Calculus" than "DD is 13".

[Deb in NZ]

What I find annoying is when people don't say what country they live in.

 

Often in discussions people might say, "That might be how it's done in the US, but over here they do it this way". I'm just left thinking "Over where?"

 

That's why I have my country in my name. Often where someone is living is relevant to the question / answer. Depending on the question, often I give more value to those who have BTDT on travel questions or general overseas questions, than someone who has never traveled overseas.

 

I try to give info about me & my family that others may find relevant, without giving enough info to actually find us online. This is to give credibility to my responses to posts & to help others to see where I may be coming from with my questions.

[mytwomonkeys]

it depends on what i'm asking i suppose.

 

honestly, someone can have BTDT, but if i'm asking about discipline issues and the advice is from a parent that is completely authoritarian, their advice isn't going to be a huge help to me, regardless of how old their kids are. and likewise, a mom with younger children, but has a similar take on parenting, may speak from no personal experience & still be a tremendous help to me.

 

however, if i am at a loss with homeschooling specifically, i do value the advice of moms who have older kids than myself. for example, when my daughter was 7 and was struggling with reading, i sought out the advice of moms that had BTDT. it isn't that moms with younger children had no valuable words of wisdom; i just really needed tried and true advice from moms that had been in the trenches (so to speak).

 

and honestly.... even then, i needed advice from moms that understood my POV and didn't have a totally different educational philosophy. i didn't need people telling me it was no big deal and to just stop trying for a few months. i needed moms that could hold my hand and explore options as to what wasn't working and why.

 

So yes. I like ages listed. But no, they aren't criteria for posting advice. :)

[Arcadia]

So, then, when asking for homeschooling advice, would it bother you if several of the people answering actually have their kids in public school and have never homeschooled? Or, for that matter, if they don't even have children?

 

From my signature, you (general you) would not be able to tell that I had to tutor my kid brother all the way to his getting his Bachelors in Mechanical Engineering. I vetted his dissertation/thesis for his degree. I also volunteered for years with a special needs school for Down syndrome because my cousin was born with Down syndrome. I also tutored plenty of high school kids for their national exams. I babysat my nephews and nieces from infancy long before I married. Allergies and 2E also seems to be the majority in my extended family,

 

Most times I would remember to post that I have BTDT when I reply but I do forget.

[Tap]

It is nice to know what ages are in the family but I don't think that it necessarily shows BTDT. I was the baby of a large family. I already had a lot of parenting 'experience' by watching my siblings raise the kids. In my family, I actually tend to go the Other way than my sibling's parent. LOL I learned a lot of what Not to do by watching them. co

 

I think the opposite is true to. Older children sometimes have a lot of experience by helping to raise younger siblings.

 

I was a Wild teen, and I remember it vividly. This factors heavily into my parenting style.

 

 

So, yes ages are nice....but it doesn't mean as much as you might think.

[Melissa in Australia]

That's why I have my country in my name. Often where someone is living is relevant to the question / answer. Depending on the question, often I give more value to those who have BTDT on travel questions or general overseas questions, than someone who has never traveled overseas.

 

I try to give info about me & my family that others may find relevant, without giving enough info to actually find us online. This is to give credibility to my responses to posts & to help others to see where I may be coming from with my questions.

That is why I have my country in my name as well. I hope readers of my comments know that I am looking at things from a completely different angle, the Aussie angle :thumbup1:

[skeeterbug]

What I find annoying is when people don't say what country they live in.

 

Often in discussions people might say, "That might be how it's done in the US, but over here they do it this way". I'm just left thinking "Over where?"

 

I have mine in my location, so I expect people to look there if I mention being from somewhere else, although usually I say where if it is relevant. But I've noticed that many, many people have not filled in their location since the board switch. More people used to have it listed, or at least had something funny or generic in there. Maybe people don't know it's there, that it disappeared when the boards changed? I've wondered.

[Donna]

I include ages in my siggy because I don't like to have to explain their ages every time I answer a btdt post. I don't put curriculum there because I'd just rather not.

 

Sometimes I will look at another person's siggy for children's ages but it doesn't bother me if they aren't there.

[Mommy22alyns]

I find it helpful to know the ages of the children.