HappyLady Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 A member of DH's family just had a baby and their swing broke (this is their 2nd child). I have a swing that I'd like to sell. I mentioned it to DH and he said it isn't right to charge a family member for something and that we should just give it to them. I told him swings are rather expensive and we can't just go giving away all of our stuff. I'd like to get some money back on the expensive items that we purchased ourselves. I told him I was going to give her a great deal on it. We only used it for one of our children and currently it's selling for $150. It's in great condition. I was going to give it to her for $40. So, since it's family should I sell it to her or just give it away? What do you all think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Give it to her, or sell it to someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Offer it to her for $40. I'd love a deal like that and wouldn't be offended that you didn't give it to me. However - if it was my own family -I'd just either give it free or not offer it at all. I'm just like that. Maybe you can loan it to her and sell it when she gives it back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasia Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would give it to her. To me, $40 wouldn't be worth the possible awkwardness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I wouldn't try to sell it to her for $40. You could just call it (at least internally) a baby gift. Or I guess you could loan it to her (but without disappointment if it's not returned), if you think there's a chance you may have another baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Unless I *needed* the money, I'd gift it. I've had enough ppl gift me unexpectedly and it was so appreciated that I return the favour by giving whenever I possibly can. If I needed it for grocery money, then I'd sell, yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 P.S. Depending on the baby's age, she may not need it for more than 6 months or so. I remember once the baby is holding his head up, I switched over to a walker-type saucer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Definitely give....or sell elsewhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would give it freely or sell it to someone outside of the family. For family, I've always just given if it's something they need. They've mostly done the same. My SIL asked me to pay for a high chair that she had in storage. I didn't ask for it but they offered because there was a need. It was awkward (especially since I had given things to them). I told her I would just buy new. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Would NOT ask family to give me $40 for a used baby swing. I just wouldn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It is your husband's family and he is the one saying to give it. I would go with that. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I told him swings are rather expensive and we can't just go giving away all of our stuff. It's not all your stuff. It's the swing. I'd like to get some money back on the expensive items that we purchased ourselves. It appears that your husband would like to pass this on, even knowing it was an expensive purchase. I told him I was going to give her a great deal on it. We only used it for one of our children and currently it's selling for $150. Where is it selling for $150? Is this the new version? It sounds like maybe the Price went up since you bought it, not that you paid $150 for it. It's in great condition. I was going to give it to her for $40. I find it amusing that you use the word "give" to mean "sell," because the price is lower than what you paid for it new. Most baby items do not magically hold their value. Sorry to say. But at the end of the day, you've already lost money on this by buying it. I've had the same feeling that I want to recoup my costs on this item, but it rarely happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Give it to her, or sell it to someone else. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would give it. You can ask for it back and sell it then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would definitely give it. We're not rolling in money but $40 in the grand scheme of family relationships is nothing to me. In fact, I would feel awful selling it (not that you should feel that way) if I thought a family member could really use it. I would worry it would cause hard feelings. It is just worth it to me when it comes to relationships. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetkvass Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would not try and charge family for a used baby swing. I also do not think a used baby swing is worth $40 personally. IME baby swings made in the last 7 years or so are crap and do not last long at all despite the absurd initial prices charged for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 In my circle of family and friends, nothing is sold. We pass around what we have with each other. I can't imagine (within my family and dh's) selling anything of "low value" to relatives. Cars, houses, etc, they would be sold, lol. But baby items, children's clothing and toys, basic household small appliances, no, I wouldn't sell anything like that. Is the $40 really important to you? Do you really need it? If your family really needs the cash, sell it, but to someone else. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Give. I would not sell something like this to a family member. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Give it to her, or sell it to someone else. :iagree: I would just give it to her unless you really need the cash. In that case, sell it to someone else. It would be weird to me to sell something so relatively small to a family member, but maybe that's just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Unless I *needed* the money, I'd gift it. I've had enough ppl gift me unexpectedly and it was so appreciated that I return the favour by giving whenever I possibly can. If I needed it for grocery money, then I'd sell, yup. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Give. I would not sell something like this to a family member. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyLady Posted October 10, 2012 Author Share Posted October 10, 2012 Thanks, everyone! In the circle I grew up in, everything was "sold." No one did anything nice for anyone unless there was something in it for them. I was always the "nice" one, though, and gave freely, only to have it bite me in the end (meaning, no one was ever there for me, nor ever did anything nice for me). So I decided to stop doing nice things for people. My DH grew up in a circle where everyone did nice things for each other, no questions asked. So it's hard for me to relate to that since it's not what I'm used to. I'll definitely offer to give her the swing. But, I won't take it back to sell because they smoke in their house and I wouldn't sell something from a smoker's home. Thanks again! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 (edited) . Edited April 8, 2013 by *lifeoftheparty* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Unless I *needed* the money, I'd gift it. I've had enough ppl gift me unexpectedly and it was so appreciated that I return the favour by giving whenever I possibly can. If I needed it for grocery money, then I'd sell, yup. This. But if I needed the money, I still wouldn't sell it to family. How much would you have spent on a baby gift for her? If it is around the same amount, just give her the swing instead of a baby gift. If it is one of the ones that cost $150 new, I'd think she'd appreciate it as her gift, even knowing it is used. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Do they need the help? I would give it to them, unless, like I said above, I really really needed the money. Eta: I don't think this is a southern vs northern thing, personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 GIVE!!!!!!!!!!! No way, no how, would I sell a used item to a family member or friend unless I was already actually marketing/selling it via garage sale or ebay or whatever. NO WAY. Follow your dh on this. They are rarely right (when they disagree with us), so you both may as well enjoy it when it happens, lol. Give dh a big messy kiss and tell him how lucky you are to have married such a generous soul and that you've realized he is totally right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Maybe I'm like that b/c I am from the deep south... I dunno, NO ONE I knew, or was related to, in the South would ever, EVER stoop so low as to ask for money for gently used items from friends and family. I have only seen this up North, and it never sits right with me. I have always lived in the north, and I can tell you without question that I have never known anyone who would sell a used item to a family member. It's tacky and as far as I know, it is not a common practice at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Thanks, everyone! In the circle I grew up in, everything was "sold." No one did anything nice for anyone unless there was something in it for them. I was always the "nice" one, though, and gave freely, only to have it bite me in the end (meaning, no one was ever there for me, nor ever did anything nice for me). So I decided to stop doing nice things for people. My DH grew up in a circle where everyone did nice things for each other, no questions asked. So it's hard for me to relate to that since it's not what I'm used to. I'll definitely offer to give her the swing. But, I won't take it back to sell because they smoke in their house and I wouldn't sell something from a smoker's home. Thanks again! :) Here's the thing -- I don't think you need to offer to give her the swing if you had your heart set on selling it. I think you should simply say nothing about it, and sell it on Craigslist or in a consignment store or something. I would feel badly for you if they took the swing and weren't appreciative, or if you later heard that they never used it and sold it at a garage sale. I don't know about everyone else, but I didn't mean that you shouldn't sell the swing; I just meant that it would be awkward to sell it to a family member. You don't "owe" these people the swing, family or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 (Sorry, I see you've already answered!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'd give it to family. If you don't want to give it to her, sell it to someone else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I have always lived in the north, and I can tell you without question that I have never known anyone who would sell a used item to a family member. It's tacky and as far as I know, it is not a common practice at all. I'm from the North and it's not common practice to sell used baby items to friends and family. I gave most of my stuff to friends. The few things I wanted to sell I held onto and quietly sold to others outside my circle of friends and family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macmacmoo Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I had a very high end stroller. I bought a upgraded version and sold the stroller to my SIL. I told her how much it would be new and what the going rates on CL was and let her decide what she thought was fair. She paid me the average CL rate which was how much I would have list it. However she came to us asking if we had a stroller we'd sell to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtoamiracle Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 My dh's family sell things to each other all the time. Including clothes and books. Kind of blows my mind because in my family we just give it. I would either make it a baby gift, or sell at a yard sale or something. I had no family to give my baby stuff to but I sold a lot and gave some to friends. Most of the things I had I bought second hand so I didn't spend a lot in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'd give it to her also. I bought most of our baby stuff used and I think $40 is steep for a used swing. That's really high to me! One of ours was a swing that converted to a highchair (so double duty baby gear), brand new in the box with full instructions, I paid $30 for that one, and the other one was free. In my experience baby gear depreciates way more than most stuff. For most used items I look to pay 50% of new or so, for baby gear it's more like 20-25%, tops. I've also never heard of selling baby gear to family. Much of my baby gear was given to me from family members or friends, and much of it went (free!) to family and friends as we finished with it. I did buy one crib off a casual acquaintance when I saw her ad on Craigslist. (and I'm very much from the North) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyrobynne Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'd probably give it as a loan but not get too hung up on it if it didn't find its way back. If you need the money, I'd put it up on Craigslist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would loan it to her and sell it when she was done with it. Or just give it. I don't take money from my relatives. If you need the money now, then sell elsewhere and help her find a used one to buy. Think of it this way... if they needed $40 for groceries, you'd likely give it to them if you could. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would also give it unless I really needed the money. But I do have another perspective to throw out there. A year or so ago my sister in law was selling stuff at a garage sale at my inlaws. She had some adorable girl clothes and I have an adorable daughter. So I picked up a huge stack of stuff, set it aside (sil wasn't physically there at the time) and went to shop at other garage sales in the neighborhood. I came back, sil was there and I said "hey, I picked out a bunch of your stuff, I owe you $30." she wouldn't take it because she felt bad about taking money from family. I felt bad that she wasn't able to sell it because I was there first. If I had known she wouldn't take my money, I would have only gone through the clothes after the sale. (and I would have been sad that my daughter would have missed out on those cute clothes just because my sil would take money from a stranger, but not from me.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I'm way north (Canada! :lol:) and it's not common practice to sell to family members here. In fact, I just gave away Boo's carseat a cpl of wks ago, to a friend that is trying for another baby. Handed it to her and said, "Fill 'er up!" :lol: I didn't want to donate it somewhere, b/c often car seats are tossed, due to unknown history, liability issues, etc. It'd been bought brand new for Boo, no accidents, etc, so she knew it was good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would also give it unless I really needed the money. But I do have another perspective to throw out there. A year or so ago my sister in law was selling stuff at a garage sale at my inlaws. She had some adorable girl clothes and I have an adorable daughter. So I picked up a huge stack of stuff' date=' set it aside (sil wasn't physically there at the time) and went to shop at other garage sales in the neighborhood. I came back, sil was there and I said "hey, I picked out a bunch of your stuff, I owe you $30." she wouldn't take it because she felt bad about taking money from family. I felt bad that she wasn't able to sell it because I was there first. If I had known she wouldn't take my money, I would have only gone through the clothes after the sale. (and I would have been sad that my daughter would have missed out on those cute clothes just because my sil would take money from a stranger, but not from me.)[/quote'] In cases like this, I find other ways to pay the person that refused to take my money. A "just because" gift. Or taking them out, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susankenny Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Either would be fine. Me personally though? I would just give it away. We have a lot given to us though, so I tend to have an open door policy of giving things away for free and in return, we somehow always get for free:) I don't think selling things (even to family) is negative though. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I have always lived in the north, and I can tell you without question that I have never known anyone who would sell a used item to a family member. It's tacky and as far as I know, it is not a common practice at all. I agree that it is tacky. I didn't know if it was a North/South thing b/c like I said, I had NEVER even heard of anyone doing that in the South, but I have come across it up North. So, I guess that means that I have just met some tacky people and they just happened to be yankees ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would sell to a stranger (i.e. by placing an ad on Craigslist or a yard sale). I would give to someone I know. I think it is just commonplace to pass around used baby gear. I have both benefited from others doing this and I have shared my used baby things with friends and family as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I have given away baby gear. One of my cousins ended up having a surprise baby. (As in surprise your not getting fat, your pregnant and didn't know it. Opps, now you are on bed rest for a month, Woozers here is the baby - and you only knew you were pregnant for a month) I ended up given a barely used crib and change table (As I thought we ended up co-sleeping and I preferred to change on the floor - so each was maybe used once or twice) a car seat, a stroller, and a high chair. Every big ticket item we had. And since her baby was close to age to my youngest it was literally take mine out of the car seat and pass it to her the next day. The only string I had attached to these gifts (Which I told her about it advance) was once done with the stuff, if it was still in good condition she had to give it to someone else or give it to any charity. I still feel somewhat special around her baby since she had literally all the stuff from my kids. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Element Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I would give it to her or sell it to someone else, although it depends on the person. My neighbor, a single mom, needs help sometimes (items, babysitting, etc.) but hates feeling indebted to me because I never need anything in return. I adore her and don't mind helping her, but I know she feels better paying a minimal amount for something. So I'll offer her things for dirt cheap ($10 for a vacuum, $5 for 4 hours of babysitting.) I don't really care about the money, but it makes her feel better. I've never charged anyone for baby gear though; I've given it all away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 Give it to her, or sell it to someone else. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 I wouldn't sell to family or friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 It is your husband's family and he is the one saying to give it. I would go with that. Dawn :iagree: Different families work differently. I remember being so shocked when DH's grandparents sold stuff to him. But that's how his family works. Since, MIL has bought several things from us that I was going to put on CL. If he's saying give it, than that's what you should do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 **OFF TOPIC** In fact, I just gave away Boo's carseat a cpl of wks ago, to a friend that is trying for another baby. Handed it to her and said, "Fill 'er up!" :lol: This made my day!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 (edited) I agree that it is tacky. I didn't know if it was a North/South thing b/c like I said, I had NEVER even heard of anyone doing that in the South, but I have come across it up North. So, I guess that means that I have just met some tacky people and they just happened to be yankees ;) :D :D :D :D Perhaps when you were here, you met people from the cast of Jersey Shore or one of those Real Housewives shows. (And yes, we're scared of them, too! :eek:) ;) Edited October 11, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Give. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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