What Do You Call Your MIL and FIL?

[MooCow]

My awesome, amazing MIL refers to herself as "Mom". I still call her by her name. :blush:

just.can't.do.it.

 

My Mother is still annoyed that I started calling my stepmom "Mom" over twenty years ago. :001_rolleyes:

 

I rarely talk to my FIL (:D) and my MIL's hubby I call by his name.

 

eta: dh calls my mom "mom" and she thinks of him as her son.

[Lisbeth]

I call my in laws by their first names.

 

*Crickets*

I don't call them...because they are mean

But when I did, it was by first name. My parents did the hard work of raising me. They were there and provided wonderfully. No way would I cheapen mom and dad as names by giving the same honor to virtusl strangers who are *%4@@ to boot.

[sassenach]

First names.

[Seeking Squirrels]

Well, one of those popular sitcoms did a show that addressed this, but I don't remember which one (maybe Everybody Loves Raymond?). It was hilarious b/c I could identify completely.

 

I don't call them anything. Yup, really. I could never call them mom or dad, and I've never felt enough friendship to call them by their first names, and it felt like i was taking liberties, especially since they never told me what to call them. So for years I've avoided the issue. You really have to be creative, but it can be done! Now I often call them grandma or grandpa if the kids are around.

 

It is ridiculous that after 18 years I still don't know what to call them, but that's the way it is. Though there are times (like MIL's summer power trip) when I have the perfect names for them.:tongue_smilie:

 

I plan to have a conversation with my future DI & SIL to agree on what they should call Dh and me.

 

Same here. Except it's not due to any lack of friendliness. I've just always been very shy and unsure of what to call people. They never stated a preference, so I've never called them anything.

 

I mostly just avoid addressing mil. If it fits, I use grandma. "here honey, take this to grandma". When referencing to other people I used to always say mother in law, but I've recently switched to first name if it's someone who knows who she is. I say "your mom" if talking to DH or sil.

[justamouse]

I was told to call them Mr. and Mrs.

 

 

I will be called whatever they want to call me. Mom is ok with me, I come from a tradition of that, or, whatever the grandkids call me.

[MollyAnn]

I use their first names which MIL was annoyed by. I was expected to call her Mrs. Last Name forever.

[besroma]

I call my in laws by their first names.

 

This.

[carriede]

Mom and Dad.

 

I refer to them as "your mom/dad" when talking to my DH or siblings-in-law; I use their first names when talking with someone else about them.

 

It was easy to call MIL 'mom', but it wasn't until recently (been married 4 years) that I could confidently call FIL 'dad'. No negative issues, just a matter of getting to know a quiet man. And it probably helps that my own father died unexpectedly earlier this year. Now FIL is all I have.

[peachskittles]

Well, one of those popular sitcoms did a show that addressed this, but I don't remember which one (maybe Everybody Loves Raymond?). It was hilarious b/c I could identify completely.

 

I don't call them anything. Yup, really. I could never call them mom or dad, and I've never felt enough friendship to call them by their first names, and it felt like i was taking liberties, especially since they never told me what to call them. So for years I've avoided the issue. You really have to be creative, but it can be done! Now I often call them grandma or grandpa if the kids are around.

 

It is ridiculous that after 18 years I still don't know what to call them, but that's the way it is. Though there are times (like MIL's summer power trip) when I have the perfect names for them.:tongue_smilie:

 

I plan to have a conversation with my future DI & SIL to agree on what they should call Dh and me.

 

Thank you for admitting it first and then everyone else that said they do it too. I tried once to call my MIL her name...Nope can't do it...:tongue_smilie: I wonder if they notice that I never address them when we talk, more of a "Hey, you" type thing.

[beezus]

I call my in-laws by their first names. MIL will sometimes sign a card as "Mom," but it always felt awkward to me to refer to them as "mom" and "dad." They don't seem too bent out of shape by it though. My husband and I met later in life. My daughter refers to her step-dad's parents as "grandma" and "grandpa." Maybe that makes up for my stuffiness about the whole in-law name thing.

[Serenade]

I call my inlaws by their first name. My hubby does the same for my mother.

[Wisco]

I call my in-laws by their first names.

 

My husband calls my mother by her first name and my father "Mr. Lastname" or "Sir." :D

[ErinE]

I call my ILs by their first names. I would be really uncomfortable calling them Mom and Dad. I have parents. My ILs (and I love them dearly) are not my parents.

[Belacqua]

I call my in-laws by their first names. MIL will sometimes sign a card as "Mom," but it always felt awkward to me to refer to them as "mom" and "dad." They don't seem too bent out of shape by it though. My husband and I met later in life.

 

I've wondered how often that comes into play. I've known my husband's parents since I was 18, and they really have been parental figures for me. My husband's sister and her husband, on the other hand, didn't marry until their late 40s. That BIL calls our inlaws by their first names. Seems to work for everybody so far.

[Mama2Many4]

I call my in-laws mom and dad, and my husband calls my mother mom. He called my father by his first name though. My father past away last year.:angelsad2:

[sbgrace]

I call my in-laws mom and dad, and my husband calls my mother mom. He called my father by his first name though. My father past away last year.:angelsad2:

:grouphug: I'm sorry.

 

We married relatively young--21. I have always called my in-laws by their first names and my husband does the same with my parents. My brother in law, who was I think 35 when he and my sister married, calls my parents mom and dad. It's not a closeness issue here. I imagine it's just what you're used to that feels right.

[mom2jjka]

I call them by their first names.

 

My mom passed away shortly before I got married, and it was (and still is to a point) just too hard for me to call someone else 'Mom.'

[Mélie]

We've never lived near my parents, and there is a language barrier between my mother and Dh. I don't think he's ever called her by name, but I believe he has occasionally called my father by his first name. I send cards addressed to "mom" or "dad" and sign both of our names.

 

I call Dh's parents by their first names, but they are quite young and their other DILs do the same.

[NittanyJen]

I call my MIL and FIL by their first names.

 

I have to laugh, though I should not; it is kind of sad. Until this thread I never gave it any thought-- but I guess my husband doesn't really know what to call my parents. We have been married 20 years, and apparently he has managed to avoid addressing either of them by name. That must really take some effort.

 

I know he feels extremely close to my parents; he was devastated when my Dad died, as he really looked up to him and they were quite close. To me, he just says, "your Mom."

 

My parents called each other's parents "Mom" and "Dad."

[bobbeym]

DH calls my parents Mom and Dad. They're Grandma and Grandpa to the kids, and first name to DIL.

 

DIL calls me by my first name, although she's said before that I'm more of a mom to her than her own mother is, so I won't be surprised or upset if she chooses to call me Mom once they get married. I'll be Nana to the grandbabies though. :)

 

If I had to speak to her, I called MIL by her first name. In reality I call her something that isn't allowed to be used on the boards. :D

[JennyD]

I call my ILs Mom and Dad, and DH does the same for my parents. We both have good relationships with our parents and our ILs. I've never quite understood the "I already have parents" perspective, but a lot of people in our generation do seem to feel that way. All of our parents called their own ILs (i.e., our grandparents) Mom and Dad -- or the foreign language equivalent thereof --though, so it's presumably just a matter of family norms.

 

My parents and ILs have become pretty good friends over the years and when we're all together, DH and I call them "Mom/Dad [iL lastname] and "Mom/Dad [parent lastname], just to keep everyone straight. The kids have their own names for everyone, of course.

 

I would be delighted if my children's spouses called me "Mom," but given how many people feel so strongly about *not* doing that, it's certainly not something I'd expect. First name would be just fine, too.

Edited October 9, 2012 by JennyD

[mytwomonkeys]

i call them by their first names.

[JadeOrchidSong]

:lol:

I call mine Mom and Dad. My sister-in-law and her husband each call their inlaws Mil and Fil (as in "hey, Fil, do you need help carrying those chairs?"). Imagine my surprise when I looked around the room wondering who the heck was named "Phil."

:lol::lol:

I call mine mom and dad. I can't imagine calling them by their first names because of my own culture.

[mom4him]

I hate to admit that I didn't have very good relationship with my MIL. I called her, "Mrs. M**ll*r". She one time, after she had been just a bit hatefully controlling she told me I should call her 'mother'. I told her that I already have a mother. Did I tell you that we did NOT have a good relationship? Honestly, I really wish I could do many things over but can't.

 

My dil and sil both call me mom. My dil is a simply sweety, yes, we have had rough spots but she is much more mature than I was and is willing to work through them/forgive and forget. My sil hasn't had a mom for many years so I think he really likes having the feeling of having a mom in his life again.

[Jpoy85]

I call both of my MILs by their first names. I dont have a FIL (he died when DH was very young)

 

and N isnt old enough to be married but i would like his wife one day to call me by my first name.

[KatA]

I have to laugh, though I should not; it is kind of sad. Until this thread I never gave it any thought-- but I guess my husband doesn't really know what to call my parents. We have been married 20 years, and apparently he has managed to avoid addressing either of them by name. That must really take some effort.

 

We've only been married 5 years, but I've maybe said my in-laws names twice. To my husband I'll say "your mom" or "your dad." But to them, I rarely say their names.

 

I do call them by their first names, but it sounds too informal, but mom and dad doesn't work for me either. So I'll probably go another 20 years not addressing them directly.

[Mom-ninja.]

How's this.....

 

I have managed in the last 14 years of marriage to never once call my in-laws anything. I don't call them "mom and dad" and I don't call them by their names. When talking to them I simply start talking with any address. I say "your mom/dad" to dh when talking about them.

 

Why? Long story.

 

At least I know I'm not the only one.

[Impish]

LOL, I think you have a special circumstance!

Yeah, calling her by her first name is the politest I can be :D

[scrapbabe]

I don't think I can repeat what I call my MIL and FIL. Because of some VERY serious issues I have cut them entirely out of my life. But I used to call them by their first names.

[jelbe5]

I call my in laws Mom and Dad. They are second parents to me. My MIL especially. She is a wonderful person and a dear dear friend. I am truly fortunate.

[sewingmama]

I call them nothing -I generally avoid them when I can :lol:

 

Actually they wanted me to call them mum and dad but I couldn't. I felt disloyal to my own mum and I've never grew up with a father in the home so it felt too weird.

 

DH just calls my mum by her first name so that's what I'll do if I ever have to address the in -laws in person :tongue_smilie:

 

Originally Posted by shanvan

Well, one of those popular sitcoms did a show that addressed this, but I don't remember which one (maybe Everybody Love Raymond?). It was hilarious b/c I could identify completely.

 

I don't call them anything. Yup, really. I could never call them mom or dad, and I've never felt enough friendship to call them by their first names, and it felt like i was taking liberties, especially since they never told me what to call them. So for years I've avoided the issue. You really have to be creative, but it can be done! Now I often call them grandma or grandpa if the kids are around.

 

It is ridiculous that after 18 years I still don't know what to call them, but that's the way it is. Though there are times (like MIL's summer power trip) when I have the perfect names for them.:tongue_smilie:

 

I plan to have a conversation with my future DI & SIL to agree on what they should call Dh and me.

 

 

 

Hey you stole my technique. I don't think I've ever used my inlaws names in the whole 10 years I've been married to DH. We live countries apart so it's pretty easy. Usually I just call them DH's mum or DH's Dad

Edited October 9, 2012 by sewingmama

[teeniebeenie6]

I call my in-laws by their first names. I would have had no problem calling them Mom and Dad, but was not sure if they wanted that.

[Dustybug]

I call my ILs by their first names. My DH calls my mom by her first name OR "Mom."

 

I would never feel comfortable referring to my ILs as mom and dad.

[jar7709]

Everyone generally uses first names. A first happened recently, though...DH works for my dad and has since before we were married (12 years) and they see each other every day, they have gotten along well the whole time. Apparently the other day the both of them were looking over some project DH completed, and dad said, "well done, son." Which is a nice moment, but DH said it was actually a little awkward and they just went right back to first names. :lol:

[abacus2]

Mom and Dad. It gets confusing though. Ben and I have Mom and Dad and Mom and Dad. I was hoping a natural distinguishing nickname would come from the kids, but no, we have Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma and Grandpa. We married young and were dating really young so it seemed pretty natural before long.

[KrissiK]

I call them "Mom and Dad" and refer to them as Gerald and Sara.

[Audrey]

I call them by their first names. I would not and could not ever call someone "mom" or "dad" who was not my actual mother or father. That, to me, feels incredibly disrespectful to my own parents (who are dead, and don't care now, but I still care.) Obvious disclaimers apply, YMMV, yada yada...

[happypamama]

I call them Mom and Dad. I call my own parents Mom and Dad as well.

 

If I'm referring to my ILs to someone else, I would say "my mother-in-law/father-in-law." If I'm referring to my ILs when speaking to my own parents, I'd refer to them by their first names, but my parents and ILs have been friends for years and may well see each other more than I see any of them.

[Shellers]

I call my MIL "Jean" because that's her name. My kids call her, "Grandma Jean".

 

I don't really call my FIL anything because we never see him. :001_huh:

 

My DH calls my mom "Gma" because that's what our kids call her. They say she's too hip to be a "grandma". My kids see my mom all the time.

 

My DH doesn't really call my dad anything because we rarely see him. My kids probably won't recognize him if they saw him. :001_huh: I was shocked he actually knew my DD#3's name.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Lol, I'm surprised how many people avoid calling their in-laws anything--takes a lot of creativity! Come to think of it, my son-in-law hasn't actually called me anything yet, either, even though I know for sure he doesn't want to call me mom.

[justkeepswimming]

I call the ILs by their first names.

 

Through reading this thread, though, it dawned on me that I no longer call MY parents "Mom and Dad." I call them the names the kids call them. I've stopped and corrected myself a few times when I start to call mom "Mom" and switch it to her grandma name. :001_rolleyes: I'm not really sure when that happened. lol Probably to clear confusion with the kids ("Hey, take this to Dad..." leaving the kids confused who exactly I meant...)

 

Oh gosh. It also just dawned on me that I call dh "Dad" most of the time and he calls me "Mom." When the HECK did THAT happen?!?!? And how on earth did I not process it happening?? :001_huh:

 

DH calls my parents by either/or first name or "Mom and Dad." Just depends on the moment, I guess. As far as they are concerned, he is their son (and often, I think, the favorite child... lol). Since relations with his mom have become increasingly strained over the years, that relationship has become more important to him and to my parents. ♥

 

 

 

I call mine Mom and Dad. My sister-in-law and her husband each call their inlaws Mil and Fil (as in "hey, Fil, do you need help carrying those chairs?"). Imagine my surprise when I looked around the room wondering who the heck was named "Phil."

 

Oh, I think this is super cute. Going to stash the idea away for the future. :) I don't love the idea of future kid-in-laws calling me by my first name, but don't really feel like they need to call us mom or dad (unless they have no relationship with their parents, or have no parents... then, of course, I'm happy to be full-time mom. :).

[thebacabunch]

Mil and FIl. Perfect! I get creeped out thinking about my kids calling another lady mom. I think it is a name of honor given to the lady who raised you. I only wish I got along with my mil cause I love "Mil". I am gonna tell my new dil and sils someday to go ahead and call me Mil. I love it!!! If I am obnoxious they can call me Pill. he he

[Tammi K]

I called his parents by their first names. He called my parents Mom and Dad. It just never felt right to call my in-laws mom and dad.

[Heather in Neverland]

I call my in-laws by their first name. My dh, however, calls my parents "mom and dad" and the only explanation I have for that is neither my dh nor I are very close to his parents but we are both very close to mine. Maybe that's it?

 

It was never a conscious decision. It just ended up that way.

[carina]

By their first names or Ma'am and Paa.

[Melissa in Australia]

I don't really call them anything. If they ring I say G'day and have a chat then tell DH his parents are on the phone. I only ring them when DH is in Canada visiting them. When they were younger and came and visited I was never in a situation where I had to use their name.

 

The main reason I don't call them by their name is their age, they are over 50 years older than me. I couldn't possibly call them by their first name and it would seem rude to call them Mr.. or Mrs...

[Melissa in Australia]

I call my in-laws by their first name. My dh, however, calls my parents "mom and dad" and the only explanation I have for that is neither my dh nor I are very close to his parents but we are both very close to mine. Maybe that's it?

 

.

 

My DH would NEVER call my mum mum, as she is only 4 years older than him. I think she would hit him with a rolling pin if he tried that.:D

[IsabelC]

My in-laws are no longer alive.

I started off calling them by their first names, then after we had kids I sometimes called them Nanna and Grandpa. I wouldn't dream of calling anyone other than my actual parents Mum and Dad. It would feel disrespectful to my parents who, after all, earned those titles through years of bringing me up, to give their special titles to someone else.

[Hoot]

I call them by their first names, but my MIL always signs cards as "Mom and Dad." I get along with them well and think of them as closer to "mom and dad" than my own parents; however, I have issues with saying the words. My own mom died in a car accident when I was 9 and I could never bring myself to call the step-mothers "mom" because, well, they were not my mom. My dad is still alive and I think that would just be weird.

[Rosie_0801]

Lol, I'm surprised how many people avoid calling their in-laws anything--takes a lot of creativity! Come to think of it, my son-in-law hasn't actually called me anything yet, either, even though I know for sure he doesn't want to call me mom.

 

Hey, at least he isn't calling you Late For Dinner!

 

Where does that phrase come from anyway? My grandmother claimed not to care what she was called as long as it wasn't Late for Dinner.

 

Rosie

 

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