WWYD - living conditions/housing question

[AimeeM]

Say you live in a lovely (albeit small) cottage style home. Said home was your husband's before you were married - he purchased the home when he thought he would be single forever :glare:. It was fine for just him - but now, married, three children, and two dogs later... well, crowded is an understatement.

 

Say, also, that your only viable option for adding on is to finish a walk up attic space - there is no way you could add a whole new level to the house and maintain selling value (you would price out of the neighborhood completely).

 

The obvious answer would appear to be to move and find a larger home. Valid and do-able.

 

BUT, let's also say that you adore your neighborhood. I mean, you LOVE it. It's a block-party-every-friday, neighbors randomly stopping by for dinner or glass of wine kind of neighborhood; the type of area where your older children play outside, wandering the neighborhood until dark without worry - childless couples make available their larger yards and basketball nets, neighbors pitch in to help when you're in a pinch (like when you go into labor, your husband's at work, and your closest relative is 3 hours away!)... they dote on your children and you love their children... they laugh with you and cry with you. Picture perfect subdivision without any animosity or cliques, filled to the brim with stay at home moms, working moms, lawyers, retired nurses, speech therapists (who offered to help your son with his speech so you didn't have to play the waiting game), teachers (who give you school supplies and are supportive of your homeschool journey), etc.

 

Also say that there is no option to buy a larger home in the same neighborhood - you are in "downtown district" and most of the homes run more expensive and still on the smaller side.

 

Would you sell and buy a bigger home, knowing that you will have more space but will never find a neighborhood like this again, or do you stay, finish your attic, and be happy in your super crowded home with your wonderful neighborhood?

[stripe]

I am in a fairly crowded home in a place I like, so I tend to say, embrace what you've got. It's hard, though, when you see all the giant houses.

[In The Great White North]

Stay.

 

Sooner or later, you'll want to downsize and wish you still had the small house.

 

What about the basement? Is it usable?

[justamouse]

Hands down, stay and finish the attic. 1. Location, location, location. 2. A bigger house will not assure you of great neighbors. Too much of a gamble.

 

I moved out of the tiny home because there was no neighborhood, we were out there, in the middle of nowhere...you get it.

 

Now? I have a neighborhood like yours and I love it to death. No way will I leave.

[TranquilMind]

Say you live in a lovely (albeit small) cottage style home. Said home was your husband's before you were married - he purchased the home when he thought he would be single forever :glare:. It was fine for just him - but now, married, three children, and two dogs later... well, crowded is an understatement.

 

Say, also, that your only viable option for adding on is to finish a walk up attic space - there is no way you could add a whole new level to the house and maintain selling value (you would price out of the neighborhood completely).

 

The obvious answer would appear to be to move and find a larger home. Valid and do-able.

 

BUT, let's also say that you adore your neighborhood. I mean, you LOVE it. It's a block-party-every-friday, neighbors randomly stopping by for dinner or glass of wine kind of neighborhood; the type of area where your older children play outside, wandering the neighborhood until dark without worry - childless couples make available their larger yards and basketball nets, neighbors pitch in to help when you're in a pinch (like when you go into labor, your husband's at work, and your closest relative is 3 hours away!)... they dote on your children and you love their children... they laugh with you and cry with you. Picture perfect subdivision without any animosity or cliques, filled to the brim with stay at home moms, working moms, lawyers, retired nurses, speech therapists (who offered to help your son with his speech so you didn't have to play the waiting game), teachers (who give you school supplies and are supportive of your homeschool journey), etc.

 

Also say that there is no option to buy a larger home in the same neighborhood - you are in "downtown district" and most of the homes run more expensive and still on the smaller side.

 

Would you sell and buy a bigger home, knowing that you will have more space but will never find a neighborhood like this again, or do you stay, finish your attic, and be happy in your super crowded home with your wonderful neighborhood?

 

Stay where you are! I've never had that no matter where I've lived, large house or small. The kids will be gone soon enough.

[AimeeM]

I am in a fairly crowded home in a place I like, so I tend to say, embrace what you've got. It's hard, though, when you see all the giant houses.

Golly it is hard! We see huge homes in our budget on the outskirts (outside of downtown district) - 6 bedrooms, two/three stories... ROOM!

But I'm kind of with you. The thought of leaving makes me feel slightly sick.

[Soror]

I'd finish the attic, some things you cannot buy and it sounds like a great place for your family. I'd declutter and simplify as much as I could and focus on all those positives.

[AimeeM]

Stay.

 

Sooner or later, you'll want to downsize and wish you still had the small house.

 

What about the basement? Is it usable?

Not really. It's an inch shy of meeting code and it attaches to the garage. We do *use* it - but for storage.

[justLisa]

I would love a neighborhood like that.

[marbel]

Our house is too small for us. It's not charming either, but that's another story. ;)

 

I'd still stay. Your neighborhood is wonderful! You love it there! That's worth a lot, but it might be hard to see that now.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Stay, have big big yard sale. You can't buy neighborhood like that anymore.

[I talk to the trees]

If I could find a neighborhood like the one you describe, I'd gladly downsize to one of these to be there. So my vote is for staying put and finishing the attic.

[Wheres Toto]

Well, your situation is almost identical to ours. Dh bought our very small (not lovely) home before we met. It was him and two dogs in 750 square feet with two (small) bedrooms. He figured he'd be single forever but also always planned to tear it down and rebuild. He bought for the gorgeous property, nice neighborhood, while still being close to jobs. Then, we met, we married, I already had a daughter so BOOM we were crowded. Then pregnant two weeks after the wedding, two kids in two years. When we were ready to re-do, the banks had gone nuts. We finally found financing and were literally two weeks from breaking ground and dh was laid off.

 

We do not have a walk-up attic (would LOVE that), no basement, detached garage. If we add any bedrooms, we'd have to move our well, redo our septic and make major changes to the house to bring it up to current code. We did build a small room out of the corner of our large living room so that we had 3 bedrooms and now that my oldest is in college, we have slightly more room. We've considered things like expanding our kitchen/dining room/laundry room, adding a sun room, redoing the garage to be more pest proof. Things that will add more living space but not bedrooms.

 

We chose to stay because we do LOVE the neighborhood, including that we have a lot of space (for NJ) on a nice river with lots of trees and a county park across the river. So it will never be built up. We'd have a very hard time selling at this point but even when the market was better, we would have to move fairly far to the west to find something bigger for the same money. Which would make dh's commute very long. We have a neighborhood pool, with lots of community parties, people who watch out for the kids.

 

Bad neighbors can ruin the best house unless you never go outside. If I were you, I'd stay and finish the attic.

[AimeeM]

The architect we spoke to is very confident that we could gain an additional 800 sq ft of space if we finish the attic. The plan, if we were to take that route, would be to finish it into a master suite with an additional bathroom.

True to form, like many older homes, the bathroom here is TINY. Tiny like you can't open the door without hitting the person on the toilet, much less squeeze in to bathe your children. Lol.

The additional bedroom would mean we could move the boys into our larger room (together, when the Babe is older) and keep DS3's "now" room as an office or guest room.

The additional space wouldn't add any real "living" space, but it would clear up a bedroom.

[Cinder]

I'd stay and finish the attic. Unless you're hoping to have a few more kiddos. Or unless you find the space, even with the extra attic space, to be unbearable. I did have a co-worker once who lived in a 3-bedroom with his wife and 7 kids. No basement, no attic, about 1200 sq ft. And I grew up in an apartment that was about 1100 sq ft with Mom and my 4 siblings.

 

You love your neighborhood--that's a biggee. My sil and her dh were in the same situation. They bought a tiny 2-bedroom bungalow when they first got married. Years later they added one dc and still fit. They loved their neighborhood. Sounds a lot like yours. They hoped to have one more child, so they started working on the attic. Many years later they bumped the back wall and added a family room, though the older child was already in college. Now both dc are on their own and the house is just the right size again for 2.

 

It's easy to find a house. It's much harder to find the right neighborhood that fits you.

[Harriet Vane]

Stay. Finish the attic. It is much cheaper to add on to a house than to buy a whole new one, even with the resale value being less than ideal. The community is wonderful, and others may add on to their houses along the way too.

[Kathryn]

I'd stay and finish the attic in a heartbeat. I'd love more space that I'd be able to get my money out of, but if I had the kind of close-knit community you describe, that would more than make up for any financial loss.

[kokotg]

Stay!

 

Are there ANY big enough houses in the neighborhood? Like, if you're super patient, will one come up that you can pounce on someday? If not, I'd go with the attic reno plan. Sounds like a reasonable compromise.

[Unicorn.]

You just described Mayberry. I'd stay! No large space is worth giving up that neighborhood.

[Annie]

You just described Mayberry. I'd stay! No large space is worth giving up that neighborhood.

 

:iagree:

[Durriyyah]

800 extra sq ft? That would be awesome. I would go with that and you could have your office up there even and have a school room. It would open up some possibilities of knocking down walls and turning two rooms into one big one (if that would make things easier). I've never lived in the type of neighborhood you are describing, but that would be great if we had that! You can't buy good neighbors. :)

[Juniper]

Redo the attic (it will be a great studio, office, sewing room someday)! As someone who moved away from this situation, I so regret it.

 

Heck, my neighborhood was not half as good and I still regret it!

[Soror]

Personally I'd do more than just a bedroom and bathroom upstairs as that doesn't seem to be an optimal use of space but I think huge bedrooms and bathrooms are a bit of a waste. I'd rather have more room in living areas then just where we sleep. I'd probably put a larger master suite, bathoom and a smaller bedroom as well.

[Brigitte]

I agree with everyone else. I would finish the attic. Is there anyway to add a sunroom, or something like that?

[Lisa R.]

Hands down, stay and finish the attic. 1. Location, location, location. 2. A bigger house will not assure you of great neighbors. Too much of a gamble.

 

I moved out of the tiny home because there was no neighborhood, we were out there, in the middle of nowhere...you get it.

 

Now? I have a neighborhood like yours and I love it to death. No way will I leave.

 

:iagree:

 

Aimee,

 

Would you mind telling us where you live? Even generally--northeast, southwest?

 

I really didn't know that neighborhoods like that still existed. If you move, you will never get this again. Refinished attics can look really lovely. I'd also consider having a decorator come out and give you ideas on how to use space more efficiently. Maybe smaller scale furniture in your living areas, coffee tables and end tables that double as storage--that kind of thing.

[speedmom4]

I agree with everyone else, finish the attic. I also would hit Ikea. Their catalog last year had this saying on the front cover, "A home doesn't need to be big, just smart."

 

Elise in NC

[Unicorn.]

Personally I'd do more than just a bedroom and bathroom upstairs as that doesn't seem to be an optimal use of space but I think huge bedrooms and bathrooms are a bit of a waste. I'd rather have more room in living areas then just where we sleep. I'd probably put a larger master suite, bathoom and a smaller bedroom as well.

 

:iagree: 800 sq feet is a lot! I would go w/ 2 bedrooms, a decent sized bath, and an open area that could be used as a tv room for extra living space.

 

I'd also consider cleaning up the basement enough to use it as a playroom. It doesn't have to meet code- think of it as an outdoor playhouse type space.

[mazakaal]

I agree with everyone else. Stay in your wonderful neighborhood and redo the attic.

 

Also, could you add a conservatory to the ground floor to add a bit more living space downstairs without huge cost? They're extremely common here in England. Something like this.

[Anne in CA]

I also vote in the stay camp. I have never had such a great neighborhood and I am jealous. One of my coworkers works two part time jobs as well as her full time job to stay in a similar situation, although it is a reverse. She and her husband bought a large home in an affluent suburb when they moved to Portland, they love the neighborhood because they are great friends with their whole block, but her husband got a big pay cut and they can't afford the house anymore and it's underwater in this economy, but they don't walk away because of how wonderful the friends they have are. I have older retired neighbors who resent my son practicing the drums, even though he only does it in the middle of the afternoon, and they resent my dc's dog, and oh, the list goes on.

[Soror]

:iagree: 800 sq feet is a lot! I would go w/ 2 bedrooms, a decent sized bath, and an open area that could be used as a tv room for extra living space.

 

I'd also consider cleaning up the basement enough to use it as a playroom. It doesn't have to meet code- think of it as an outdoor playhouse type space.

 

That is a good idea as well, having a place for the toys or hs'ing stuff or a big family room could make things seem a lot bigger.

[Lisbeth]

Stay! I love having house space, but your neighborhood sound priceless.

[Starr]

This stage of your life is going to fly by. I would stay but rethink all the possibilities of the attic space.

[LisaKinVA]

If I had a house in a neighborhood I loved, that I could essentially see myself in forever, I'd say forget about resale, and simply do what needs to be done to make it comfortable to stay. Who knows, you could start a trend! Just keep the finished home style in keeping with the neighborhood :D

 

So yes, finish the attic space (at minimum), and see where that leads.

 

Remember, re-sale is only important if you are going to sell it. If you're going to pay it off and live in it, add-on anyway (just do a nice job!)

[QueenCat]

BUT, let's also say that you adore your neighborhood. I mean, you LOVE it. It's a block-party-every-friday, neighbors randomly stopping by for dinner or glass of wine kind of neighborhood; the type of area where your older children play outside, wandering the neighborhood until dark without worry - childless couples make available their larger yards and basketball nets, neighbors pitch in to help when you're in a pinch (like when you go into labor, your husband's at work, and your closest relative is 3 hours away!)... they dote on your children and you love their children... they laugh with you and cry with you. Picture perfect subdivision without any animosity or cliques, filled to the brim with stay at home moms, working moms, lawyers, retired nurses, speech therapists (who offered to help your son with his speech so you didn't have to play the waiting game), teachers (who give you school supplies and are supportive of your homeschool journey), etc.

 

This part, above, is what I seek in a neighborhood. I would stay and finish out the attic. I would consider out-pricing the neighborhood if you are going to stay a long time and do the full addition.

[Sparkle]

If I had a house in a neighborhood I loved, that I could essentially see myself in forever, I'd say forget about resale, and simply do what needs to be done to make it comfortable to stay. Who knows, you could start a trend! Just keep the finished home style in keeping with the neighborhood :D

 

So yes, finish the attic space (at minimum), and see where that leads.

 

Remember, re-sale is only important if you are going to sell it. If you're going to pay it off and live in it, add-on anyway (just do a nice job!)

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[AdventureMoms]

We are in a small house in a great neighborhood. We've talked about it many times and I don't think I could move. We may add on - I think even 400sqft would make a HUGE difference (we have 1100 now). I would not use 800sqft for ONE bed/bath, personally. THat's only a little smaller than my whole house, and definitely bigger than my 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom upstairs. I'd see about moving ALL 3 or 4 bedrooms to the attic space and add more living space downstairs. The current bedrooms could be things like an office or rec room, or you could knock down walls.

 

I like small bedrooms and large living spaces though.

[Lara in Colo]

This part, above, is what I seek in a neighborhood. I would stay and finish out the attic. I would consider out-pricing the neighborhood if you are going to stay a long time and do the full addition.

 

 

Exactly what I was going to say. Good neighbors are priceless!!!

 

Who knows? Perhaps everyone will start upgrading and up the whole neighborhood!!!

[mommaduck]

Hands down, stay and finish the attic. 1. Location, location, location. 2. A bigger house will not assure you of great neighbors. Too much of a gamble.

 

I moved out of the tiny home because there was no neighborhood, we were out there, in the middle of nowhere...you get it.

 

Now? I have a neighborhood like yours and I love it to death. No way will I leave.

:iagree:

[Garga]

Are you seriously asking?!?! :D

 

STAY!

 

You have the last neighborhood like that in America. Don't leave it!

 

The kids will be gone one day and you won't need a bunch of room. It's good for (normal loving) families to live in small spaces together. (Yes, my house is small. See how my location says I live in a cottage.

[elegantlion]

Stay and finish the attic. We have a cozy cottage and the attic is finished. That's ds's room. I'm surprised how much space it actually is, square foot wise it's the biggest room in the house.

[Mrs Mungo]

If I had a house in a neighborhood I loved, that I could essentially see myself in forever, I'd say forget about resale, and simply do what needs to be done to make it comfortable to stay. Who knows, you could start a trend! Just keep the finished home style in keeping with the neighborhood :D

 

So yes, finish the attic space (at minimum), and see where that leads.

 

Remember, re-sale is only important if you are going to sell it. If you're going to pay it off and live in it, add-on anyway (just do a nice job!)

 

This part, above, is what I seek in a neighborhood. I would stay and finish out the attic. I would consider out-pricing the neighborhood if you are going to stay a long time and do the full addition.

 

:iagree: With both of these posts. If you have the cash to add on a story, then I would do it. Yeah, you might price out of the neighborhood, but if that's where you plan to stay, that's okay.

[SpecialClassical]

Just think of the value of the relationships for your children. Even if you did find another great neighborhood, they would lose the type of relationships they currently have with the people in your neighborhood.

[KatieJ]

Stay and remodel. Great neighbors are worth it.

[momma2three]

If you have no plans to sell anytime soon, I wouldn't worry about resale value. You can't really tell much about that 20 years into the future anyway... who knows what could happen to your town, your neighborhood, or the economy in general during that time. I think your neighborhood sounds amazing, and I would build an extra story and then stay.

[Trish]

A good neighborhood is PRICELESS. :)

[elfgivas]

The architect we spoke to is very confident that we could gain an additional 800 sq ft of space if we finish the attic. The plan, if we were to take that route, would be to finish it into a master suite with an additional bathroom.

True to form, like many older homes, the bathroom here is TINY. Tiny like you can't open the door without hitting the person on the toilet, much less squeeze in to bathe your children. Lol.

The additional bedroom would mean we could move the boys into our larger room (together, when the Babe is older) and keep DS3's "now" room as an office or guest room.

The additional space wouldn't add any real "living" space, but it would clear up a bedroom.

 

in our previous home (we moved due to work), we had an amazing neighborhood, and a small home. what we did was refinish the attic and change it into an old style british nursery. the kids beds were up there, and all their toys. they loved it. we took out the seating area in the kitchen and turned it into a "cooking only" space, added a small bathroom, and ate meals in the dining room. we used the basement for storage. and we sold a lot of stuff, including furniture to make it "feel" bigger. for us, having an 800 sq. foot master bedroom wouldn't have made as much sense, just because we're not in it much except to sleep, and what we longed for was more "living space", not more "sleeping space"....

 

fwiw,

ann

[stripe]

Besides, everyone I know who moved to a McMansion came to regret it when they had to pay the heating and cooling bills. People who live on my street joke about going to their houses and having to keep your coat on because it's so freezing inside.

[HomeschoolMamaOfTwo]

I would definitely use the attic space and stay if you can make that work. Your neighborhood sounds great.

[idnib]

Stay and finish the attic, for sure.

 

My parents live in a neighborhood with good neighbors and it's really paid off as they've gotten older. There's always someone to help, I can call the neighbors to check on things for them, the could catch a ride to the store if they needed to, etc.

[AimeeM]

Stay!

 

Are there ANY big enough houses in the neighborhood? Like, if you're super patient, will one come up that you can pounce on someday? If not, I'd go with the attic reno plan. Sounds like a reasonable compromise.

There is *one* that is in our neighborhood and up for sale.

BUT, our neighborhood is a 250/300K neighborhood and this is a For Sale By Owner... and they want, like, 450K for it. They bought it, renovated it, and are listing it for sale - because they put so much money into it, they need to sell it for more than the house is appraised at, to cover their losses. I'm just not sure that it's worth it. It isn't THAT much larger than our home now, and we can buy a 6 bdrm, 3bath, 4000+ sq ft outside of downtown district for that price!

In our neighborhood, there are very, very precious few homes that are larger than ours. Most of the homes were built around the same time (1950's) and are about the same size, on about the same size lots, kwim?