Rjmakmom Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I decided to start a Scout-like group for girls. Lots of hiking, fishing, camping, outdoor stuff and also some service projects, etc. I contacted a close friend to ask if her daughters would like to join. We texted back and forth about it all morning and left it at the point that she wanted to think about it and get back to me. No problem. 30 minutes later this is posted by her on FB and on our co-op yahoo group: I will be starting a group. It will be called homeschool homesteading. It will cover learning about animals, plants, trees, gardening, survival, camping, backpacking, fire starting, climbing, hiking, gun saftey, knife saftey, bow saftey, water activities, and much more! we will meet at our home 2 times a month. the meetings will go for 1 1/2 hours and will be packed full of info! We will have a few trips planned as well like hiking, camping, fishing, and canoeing. Let me know if you are interested. Thanks in advance! I was floored! This was my idea, and I invited her to be a part of it. I didn't quite know what to say, so I told her we were interested, and I would love to be involved and help. I was told that she and her husband will be doing it. Ummmm...ok. So now I have been completely shut out of my own plans. She thinks I am being petty and that the 2 groups are not the same thing, because I wanted to include service projects in the one I was planning, she only wants activities. So, Hive, am I wrong to upset about this? Is she right, am I just being petty? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 That would bother me a lot. Doesn't sound like much of a friend. I'd start my own group anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 :blink: :sad: :cursing: I'd be equally upset. I can't even imagine what she was thinking. I'm so sorry. I don't know how you can fix it. :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 That would bother me a lot. Doesn't sound like much of a friend. I'd start my own group anyway. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I decided to start a Scout-like group for girls. Lots of hiking, fishing, camping, outdoor stuff and also some service projects, etc. I contacted a close friend to ask if her daughters would like to join. We texted back and forth about it all morning and left it at the point that she wanted to think about it and get back to me. No problem. 30 minutes later this is posted by her on FB and on our co-op yahoo group: I will be starting a group. It will be called homeschool homesteading. It will cover learning about animals, plants, trees, gardening, survival, camping, backpacking, fire starting, climbing, hiking, gun saftey, knife saftey, bow saftey, water activities, and much more! we will meet at our home 2 times a month. the meetings will go for 1 1/2 hours and will be packed full of info! We will have a few trips planned as well like hiking, camping, fishing, and canoeing. Let me know if you are interested. Thanks in advance! I was floored! This was my idea, and I invited her to be a part of it. I didn't quite know what to say, so I told her we were interested, and I would love to be involved and help. I was told that she and her husband will be doing it. Ummmm...ok. So now I have been completely shut out of my own plans. She thinks I am being petty and that the 2 groups are not the same thing, because I wanted to include service projects in the one I was planning, she only wants activities. So, Hive, am I wrong to upset about this? Is she right, am I just being petty? You are not being petty - this was downright vicious, a shameless power grab. This is not a friend !!! If you want to keep things civil so your kids can be involved, do that. But watch your back around this person, do not ever give her any information that she can use against you. She is a shark with no conscience whatsoever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 :confused: I don't think your being petty at all! I'd be disgruntled if it were me!:mad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Wow. Some people.:glare: Unbelievable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Why are you even asking that question? That person is incredibly rude, that's all there is to it. Do your recruiting in places her sticky beak isn't part of because she's going to make out you are stealing her idea and anyone with manners would then think you are horribly rude. :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I was going to tag this post "crazy lady" but someone beat me to it. You definitely win a prize for this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 It sounds like she really didn't like what you had planned at all or that she and her DH just don't want to turn over their DDs' teaching to anyone- even you. :glare: Perhaps a combination of both. Then she decided that she also didn't want her DD to miss out or want to join your group, so she threw together a replacement. For you to be surprised and stunned that she would whip up some class right after you mentioned yours is not petty. I would drop it though. If she's got her mind set that she's right and your wrong, you probably aren't going to convince her otherwise. I'm not sure that I would have my kids participate in her group though. Whatever reasons she has for starting her own "club" may also mean that she has ideas about the teaching that you might not like. It would be a bit of a red flag for me. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 I hope at some point her club will address learning how to spell safety correctly. I would be ticked and don't think you're petty for being upset and feeling like she stole your idea and is passing it off as her own—because that's what she did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 :ack2: :001_huh: What a twerp! No, you aren't being petty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjmakmom Posted May 7, 2012 Author Share Posted May 7, 2012 Ok, I am still upset, but feeling a little better that I am not upset for no reason AND being a b***h. At this point, I figure I will just have to bite the bullet and let my girls participate, but she has switched it to evenings and that is just a no-go for us. Unfortunately, we are both drawing from the same pool of girls, so I guess it makes no sense to continue on with my group. She got tons of interest right away for hers.....grrrr. My hubby is adamant that our girls not be involved with her group. This is not the first time she has been a less than stellar friend. Big surprise, huh? Apparently I am a slow learner.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 What a stinky person. Do not be part of the group. If you have plans do not discuss with this person. And if you start something (weekly science experiment program, fieldtrip group, anything), be selective who you invite. Honestly, I'd start rethinking my whole social circle if this happened to me. It would make me question the other families in the group, because clearly this mom is in a power grab. Have other families noticed and been burned. Have you noticed that other families who used to be part of your homeschool group are no longer active. Where did they go. What other homeschool groups are in your area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 What? Did she purposely plan to have it in the evening so you couldn't be involved? I would be upset too. I would still consider starting your group since it would be during the day. Different people are available at different times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 What? Did she purposely plan to have it in the evening so you couldn't be involved? I would be upset too. I would still consider starting your group since it would be during the day. Different people are available at different times. Perhaps you should reply to her facebook post, "Oh that's great! I had a similar idea but we are going to meet during the day so if that works better for anyone let me know!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2samlibby Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 Perhaps you should reply to her facebook post, "Oh that's great! I had a similar idea but we are going to meet during the day so if that works better for anyone let me know!" :iagree: I would do this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petepie2 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I'm so sorry.....that just stinks on so many levels... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) What a weasel. :glare: That woman is no friend!!! :angry: I wouldn't have anything to do with her group, nor would my child. In fact, I wouldn't have anything at all to do with her, either now or in the future. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't call her out immediately, letting everyone know what kind of stunt she'd pulled. I think you've been far too nice about it. Edited May 8, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Congratulations! You have found the crazy lady of the day! :glare: Wow - that lady has quite the nerve. Within 30 minutes of your discussion!? I'd probably be tempted to unfriend her on FB and cut her off. What a whack-a-doodle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Wow!!! I'm sitting here with my mouth open! I can't believe someone could be so blatant. I would be angry, and there is absolutely no way I would join her group!! Or, help her in any way. If I were you, I would find someone else and go forward with your idea. Even if it's a smaller group, it's your ideas and plans. Make it what you want. Tell her to take a hike!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 She's a butt. Give us her fb name and we'll all tell her so. Or I will tell her so over and over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Why are you even asking that question? That person is incredibly rude, that's all there is to it. Do your recruiting in places her sticky beak isn't part of because she's going to make out you are stealing her idea and anyone with manners would then think you are horribly rude. :grouphug: Rosie :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I only read the first page but I think this was very rude of her. What's the saying? Imitation is a compliment. She obviously thinks you have a great idea. Too bad she can't see how rude it was! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in AL Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 No. Not petty. She was Rude, Rude, Rude (with a capital 'R')! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Are you a Christian? If you are, look into starting an American Heritage Girls group. If you have an organization as opposed to her club, then it will increase your chances of success, I think. They partner with the BSA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I would encourage you to continue with your plans as if she never did this. Just because you are drawing from the same group of people doesn't mean that they won't come to yours. Plenty of families may not be able to make evenings as well. Plus, how much orienteering are you able to do at night? Can you widen the pool of potential participants? This may help you find a better group of people to hang with:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 :lol: This is not your friend. I have had "friends" like that, and I have finally, finally learned to steer clear of them. It's not you, it's her. She's petty. Trust me, if you aren't direct in telling her about how awful she is being, you will regret not standing up for yourself. Start your group. Keep planning it like you have been, and announce it when you are ready. If anyone says anything about the similarities, say that it's been in the works for a while, and you asked not-your-friend to join a while back, but she wanted it different, so she started her own, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 She sounds like a butt. You are not being petty at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I like pp's idea about starting a day group for those who prefer to hike during the day. It's hard to see where you are shooting in the evenings. Sounds like Middle School continues for some people.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 She's a butt. Give us her fb name and we'll all tell her so. Or I will tell her so over and over. OH YES!!!! A bunch of us could friend her and tomorrow morning we could post all over her post that this idea is stolen! I am in just a mood to do it too :D I cannot stand people who do this kind of stuff and it really makes my blood boil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Wow! What a B!t@h! She is mean, rude, mean, and just plain....wow. I feel bad for you and your girls, and the girls who will miss out on your group because of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I think she did you an enormous favor. She showed you her crazy BEFORE you were entangled in it. It would have been much worse if you had started a group that included her and then had to fight her for control of it. Now you know she has social problems and you are not involved yet. Win for you! I predict her group will not last. People like this, who don't have a mature interaction style, tend to be very difficult to work with and people will drop out of her group. You should quietly set up your daytime group (and start with service projects since that is the differentiator) and try to ignore her as much as possible. Cut her out of your social life as much as you can. Any relationship with her will not end well. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I would encourage you to continue with your plans as if she never did this. Just because you are drawing from the same group of people doesn't mean that they won't come to yours. Plenty of families may not be able to make evenings as well. Plus, how much orienteering are you able to do at night? Can you widen the pool of potential participants? This may help you find a better group of people to hang with:). :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 what a winner. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Why are you even asking that question? That person is incredibly rude, that's all there is to it. Do your recruiting in places her sticky beak isn't part of because she's going to make out you are stealing her idea and anyone with manners would then think you are horribly rude. :grouphug: Rosie That. It always shocks me, the absolute gall of some people. I mean, not only advertise and claim your idea as her own, under the pretense of "thinking about it", but to then have the nerve to tell you YOU'RE petty? Truly astonishing. And there is no doubt that she will go around slamming you for being so petty as to steal "her" idea. Wow. Just wow. Hindsight being what it is, I think the perfect FB comment would have been something along the lines of "wow, I didn't know 'let me think about joining your group' was code for 'let me claim the idea as my own'!" Alas, it seems a bit after the fact for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommy5 Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I vote that she is really truly crazy. You are not being petty. She seems toxic -- I would stay away from her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Incredibly rude. I'd be livid, and I really don't offend easily. I'd continue with your group, though. If you're drawing from the same group of girls and they all end up in her group, I'd be seriously looking for a new set of participants to draw from... And daytime makes more sense for this kind of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Every time I think we've reached the end of Crazy Street, someone posts about a new weirdo. That 'friend' is beyond rude. Run far, far away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cailin Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 :iagree: Trust me, if you aren't direct in telling her about how awful she is being, you will regret not standing up for yourself. Start your group. Keep planning it like you have been, and announce it when you are ready. If anyone says anything about the similarities, say that it's been in the works for a while, and you asked not-your-friend to join a while back, but she wanted it different, so she started her own, too. You're not petty, keep your kids out of her group, and absolutely continue with your plans. Try not to let this dampen your spirits too much. By the way, you have a great idea, and I'd be choosing the group with the community service! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Can you get a picture of your text conversation? If so, post it on her FB and say, "Wow, this sounds familiar! We're starting a new group too!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I vote that she is really truly crazy. You are not being petty. She seems toxic -- I would stay away from her. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Can you get a picture of your text conversation? If so, post it on her FB and say, "Wow, this sounds familiar! We're starting a new group too!" :iagree:I'd be tempted to do this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rjmakmom Posted May 8, 2012 Author Share Posted May 8, 2012 She's a butt. Give us her fb name and we'll all tell her so. Or I will tell her so over and over. LOL!!! I love this! Thanks for the offer!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 The good news is that she has probably done similar things to others, so they won't want to join her group. There shouldn't be any competition for members in your group. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
learningmama Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Congratulations! You have found the crazy lady of the day! :glare: Wow - that lady has quite the nerve. Within 30 minutes of your discussion!? I'd probably be tempted to unfriend her on FB and cut her off. What a whack-a-doodle. :iagree: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I think she did you an enormous favor. She showed you her crazy BEFORE you were entangled in it. It would have been much worse if you had started a group that included her and then had to fight her for control of it. :iagree: And she will never think she is being rude. She thinks she is "effective" and has "leadership skills", is "creative" and "a go getter". She thinks doing this was admirable behavior. I've met that type plenty of times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Unfortunately, we are both drawing from the same pool of girls, so I guess it makes no sense to continue on with my group. She got tons of interest right away for hers.....grrrr. Make yours co-ed. Your pool will be bigger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 Speechless... If I had a nickel for every time I've said "What is WRONG with people?!" in the last week, I'd be a rich woman! Yikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatA Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 And daytime makes more sense for this kind of thing. That's what I was thinking. I think your idea is great, I'm sorry that this woman knocked the wind out. If it were me, I'd want to do the hiking and gardening during the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.