I know I shouldn't be upset but...

[heidirenata]

I was at my daughter's soccer game listening to another homeschool mom (the only other homeschooler on the team) brag to the other moms about her son. It all started when the other moms started asking general questions about homeschooling like "what do you do?". So this other homeschool mom starts bragging how her 2nd grade son reads on a 5th grade level and he's just sooooo advanced she doesn't have to do anything really, he pretty much just teaches himself.

I wasn't really part of the conversation so didn't comment but it bothered me because I have a hard enough time fighting the stereotypes explaining that my kids aren't weird unsocialized homeschoolers. UGH!

[Desert Rat]

Ugh. I would be miffed, too.

I would look for an opportunity in the future to talk to the lady she was talking to and explain how your homeschool looks. Offset it a bit. Sounds like the other momma is more of an unschooler.

[DJgang]

My kids are in private school right. We're coming home and I did HS my oldest two years... Anyway, last weekend in cub scouts this little first grader was reading and reading very well, much better than my second grader... For a second it bothered me, then i have nieces who could read fifth grade no problem at the age of 7. Yes that bothered me too......

 

But.... You child and my children will all end up reading fifth grade level in the end right???

 

I'd rather my children read on their garde level and comprehend first and foremost!

 

And sometimes...let's be honest, people brag and stretch the truth sometimes.

[Susan in TN]

It's great that her child is a good reader and works well independently. But just wait til she has a child in 2nd grade who struggles to read at grade level, is completely baffled by long division, and prefers to spend his time in La La Land. :D That will tone down her conversation right quick.

[WishboneDawn]

She was talking about her own experience and while it sounded like a brag to you it may very well have been how homeschooling looks in her house. If it seems to fit with certain homeschooling stereotypes, oh well, that's not her issue and I'm not sure what she should have said or done differently.

[Rebecca VA]

Yes, she's bragging, and yes, she knows it. Chalk her up as an obnoxious mom. If her child were in school and doing well, she'd brag about that, too.

 

In about 15 years you might want to check back and see how well her son is doing. The proof will be in the pudding, as to whether she still has an accomplished, high-achieving child or not. Lots of kids start off well, but they don't all finish well. (And conversely, some start off slowly and end really well.)

[fairfarmhand]

It's great that her child is a good reader and works well independently. But just wait til she has a child in 2nd grade who struggles to read at grade level, is completely baffled by long division, and prefers to spend his time in La La Land. :D That will tone down her conversation right quick.

:iagree: this was me! God has a way of humbling me.

[MindyD]

She was talking about her own experience and while it sounded like a brag to you it may very well have been how homeschooling looks in her house. If it seems to fit with certain homeschooling stereotypes, oh well, that's not her issue and I'm not sure what she should have said or done differently.

 

:iagree:My oldest would sound a lot like this.

[elegantlion]

I think things said at the bleachers during any sporting event should be taken with a huge grain of salt. She may have felt ganged up on and blurted something without thinking. She may be wanting to brag to make her son feel smarter and her feel successful.. He may be smart. I'm quite sure I have uttered words I'd rather not when I feel like I"m getting the third degree.

 

 

 

 

____________________(insert any stereotype here) Those people usually put their foot in their mouth at least once during the course of trying to prove they are not like the above stereotype.

[spaceman]

Which part of what she said are you trying to avoid being put on you?

[Danestress]

Some women just really need to brag. It isn't about homeschool - these women probably know lots of mothers who need to advertise their children's standardized test scores or relative reading levels. We all know the mothers who do that, and it isn't about where they go to school.

 

It is tacky. And frankly, I bet several women there have 2nd graders reading on a fifth grade level. It is not at all unusual or particularly impressive, and a wide range of reading levels are normal at that age. But those other mothers probably just refrain from engaging in the "my child is sooooo advanced" game. Perhaps, like me, they have has one extremely advanced child who sputtered out in high school when everything stopped being so easy for him. So they know not to blow their own horn. It isn't about where the child goes to school, and it is not a reflection on you!

[beaners]

Yes, she's bragging, and yes, she knows it. Chalk her up as an obnoxious mom. If her child were in school and doing well, she'd brag about that, too.

 

In about 15 years you might want to check back and see how well her son is doing. The proof will be in the pudding, as to whether she still has an accomplished, high-achieving child or not. Lots of kids start off well, but they don't all finish well. (And conversely, some start off slowly and end really well.)

 

Bragging about adult children and using them as a reflection on yourself is perfectly acceptable then? ;) (I'm kidding!!!)

[Samiam]

I don't see the issue, meaning how it reflects on you.

 

I see the issue, in the bragging part. But lots of people do that, about their children, their job, etc etc etc. MOST of us can see through it.

 

I agree with what the others have said, in that it may very well be her experience with her child. Having had a child, my first, very much like that, it's all she knows. It is very humbling and eye-opening to have the next child be completely opposite. I am ever so grateful to be humbled in that way, as it did open my eyes to the struggles of others, something I probably wouldn't have been able to relate to had I only had my first born, who struggles at almost nothing academic or physical. I'm grateful now to have been knocked off my "best parent in the world" self-created pedestal :).

 

It also could have been that scenario where she felt she had to pump it up a bit, because she felt "attacked", and it could have been in the tone or looks of those that were asking.

 

Either way, I don't really see an issue with what she said. Better that stereotype then the one of the "nerdy, unsocialized homeschooler".

[Mrs Mungo]

Maybe she was feeling defensive and overcompensated?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Maybe she was feeling defensive and overcompensated?

 

:iagree: I've seen many people recommend talking up their kid's strengths when questioned about homeschooling on this board. ;) The mom obviously felt like she had to trot out some pluses for homeschooling or at least proof that she wasn't failing the child.

 

Kids develop and learn at different rates. They may be doing well at reading and not so much at math . . . or in their social skills.

[Desert Strawberry]

I admit up front to being a braggart. I choose to present a positive image to the world. I don't lie, and I try to keep it real, too, but compared to the endless whining I see many other people do, I know I'm viewed with a green-tinged eye.

 

I don't see anything wrong with what she said. It's not my experience. My first is a slow learner. But it is her experience. I think that is wonderful for her.

 

I'm not what stereotype we're talking about here. That all homeschooled kids are brilliant? Some are.

 

I think a great many kids, in this situation, would achieve in this way. Lots of kids are bright and talented and soar when released from structured curriculum. If this kid liked math, she'd probably mention that. If he was a builder, she'd mention that.

 

I think this statement is more a reflection of her overall parenting style than...anything else.

[SorrelZG]

She was talking about her own experience and while it sounded like a brag to you it may very well have been how homeschooling looks in her house. If it seems to fit with certain homeschooling stereotypes, oh well, that's not her issue and I'm not sure what she should have said or done differently.

 

 

:iagree:

 

She may be right about what was happening but it could equally have just been the OPs own insecurities coloring her interpretation of the event. I've been on both ends in various contexts.

 

Frankly, its basically how things are with my oldest and it's no thanks to me, it's just reality. If someone was to ask how homeschooling looks right now at our house am I supposed to lie? I also have other children that aren't doing the same things he did at their age and what they are doing is shared in the same way I would share what he is doing. So, no, there is no relevance here to the thought "just wait until their next is struggling rather than accelerating". All children are different and have their own needs.

 

One thing I have learned is to identify those whose own insecurities would make it best not to discuss school around at all and thankfully this forum provides specific places for people with no-one else to talk to and get assistance from.

 

I likewise I have no idea how these things play into a stereotype. What is weird and unsocialized about a child enjoying books and having an intense interest in teaching themselves in their areas of interest?

[black_midori]

I admit up front to being a braggart. I choose to present a positive image to the world. I don't lie, and I try to keep it real, too, but compared to the endless whining I see many other people do, I know I'm viewed with a green-tinged eye.

 

I don't see anything wrong with what she said. It's not my experience. My first is a slow learner. But it is her experience. I think that is wonderful for her.

 

I'm not what stereotype we're talking about here. That all homeschooled kids are brilliant? Some are.

 

I think a great many kids, in this situation, would achieve in this way. Lots of kids are bright and talented and soar when released from structured curriculum. If this kid liked math, she'd probably mention that. If he was a builder, she'd mention that.

 

I think this statement is more a reflection of her overall parenting style than...anything else.

 

:iagree:

 

I have absolutely done that - not deliberately bragging, just telling it like it is.

 

My 6yo is very advanced - if someone asks me how school is going with him (especially someone who DOESN'T homeschool & is more likely to be asking to see how badly it is going) I tell them pretty much the same things as your "braggart" did... because it is true. Why is that wrong? My 8yo is "on-level". My friends 8yo is "below level". My other friends 6yo is WAY farther "above level" than mine is. So... where is the problem in knowing that? It doesn't sound like she was trying to denigrate their kids, or thought that she was a super-star because hers was advanced - I know I wouldn't have been saying either of those things, anyway! :)

 

I'm not sure I understand the so-called "stereotyping" that you are concerned about here. That all kids who are homeschooled are extra-smart? Obviously not true, any more than all kids who are in PS are extra-socialized, but hers may be advanced - so??

 

I love that part of homeschooling involves the ability to LET my 6yo do the same work, in some areas, that my 8yo does and LET my 8yo move at his own pace as well & not feel like he has to do xyz because he is 8.

[catz]

Some women just really need to brag. It isn't about homeschool - these women probably know lots of mothers who need to advertise their children's standardized test scores or relative reading levels. We all know the mothers who do that, and it isn't about where they go to school.

 

It is tacky. And frankly, I bet several women there have 2nd graders reading on a fifth grade level. It is not at all unusual or particularly impressive, and a wide range of reading levels are normal at that age. But those other mothers probably just refrain from engaging in the "my child is sooooo advanced" game. Perhaps, like me, they have has one extremely advanced child who sputtered out in high school when everything stopped being so easy for him. So they know not to blow their own horn. It isn't about where the child goes to school, and it is not a reflection on you!

 

:iagree:My 7 year old 2nd grader reads above 5th grade level. My 5th grader is doing algebra. Someone would have to ask me some pretty specific questions to get that info out of me. And much of the time, if someone is that specific they might have an above grade level kid they're working with. If someone loosely asks "how is it going", I usually just say "great, thanks for asking". Honestly, I thought PS parents were worse about this. My son went to PS for 2 years and many of them were declared brilliant by they're parents. Some of these kids were working at grade level and some were working WAY ahead of grade level (not at all that strange in our former PS). Competitive parenting drives me nuts and honestly, it contributed to why we're homeschooling. Every kid, family, educational need is unique.

 

I also wonder what leads to some of these conversations. If another parent insinuated that a child couldn't be well educated being homeschooled, I might be more willing to throw out where my kids are working or what kind of materials we use.

 

If this is this particular parent's tone ALL the time (and I do know a couple like this), I'd just do the internal eye roll and avoid at all costs. :D

[Pretty in Pink]

She was talking about her own experience and while it sounded like a brag to you it may very well have been how homeschooling looks in her house. If it seems to fit with certain homeschooling stereotypes, oh well, that's not her issue and I'm not sure what she should have said or done differently.

 

I agree with this. I'm not sure why you were offended by what she said. I've made similar statements with regards to my eldest -- the boy is quite bright, pretty much teaches himself, and has done so for years now. It's not a brag, just a statement of fact.

[justasque]

So this other homeschool mom starts bragging how her 2nd grade son reads on a 5th grade level and he's just sooooo advanced she doesn't have to do anything really, he pretty much just teaches himself.

 

Some kids really are like that, especially at that age. I've known quite a few over the years, some homeschooled and some schooled. In the hs case, it was the main reason the parents chose homeschooling. I've known parents in those situations who were more on the bragging side, and others who were more careful about what/how they shared about their kids' progress. But be careful that you're not assuming the intention was bragging just because the child is reading above level and is very self-motivated to learn.

 

I think in your shoes I would have added my perspective to the conversation, or something general abut how all homeschooling families are different, etc., just so that the listeners know that you're coming from a slightly different place.

[Catwoman]

She was talking about her own experience and while it sounded like a brag to you it may very well have been how homeschooling looks in her house. If it seems to fit with certain homeschooling stereotypes, oh well, that's not her issue and I'm not sure what she should have said or done differently.

 

:iagree:

 

She may be right about what was happening but it could equally have just been the OPs own insecurities coloring her interpretation of the event. I've been on both ends in various contexts.

 

Frankly, its basically how things are with my oldest and it's no thanks to me, it's just reality. If someone was to ask how homeschooling looks right now at our house am I supposed to lie? I also have other children that aren't doing the same things he did at their age and what they are doing is shared in the same way I would share what he is doing. So, no, there is no relevance here to the thought "just wait until their next is struggling rather than accelerating". All children are different and have their own needs.

 

One thing I have learned is to identify those whose own insecurities would make it best not to discuss school around at all and thankfully this forum provides specific places for people with no-one else to talk to and get assistance from.

 

I likewise I have no idea how these things play into a stereotype. What is weird and unsocialized about a child enjoying books and having an intense interest in teaching themselves in their areas of interest?

 

I agree with this. I'm not sure why you were offended by what she said. I've made similar statements with regards to my eldest -- the boy is quite bright, pretty much teaches himself, and has done so for years now. It's not a brag, just a statement of fact.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

In what way were you offended by what the woman said? :confused: It's not as though she was going on and on about what a wonderful mother and brilliant teacher she was -- actually, she sounded somewhat self-deprecating to me, because she said her child basically taught himself. She wasn't trying to take credit for being Super Mom. It seemed like she was saying that she was very fortunate to have a bright kid.

 

What was she supposed to do -- lie about her son's abilities on the off-chance that someone would be too envious to deal with the truth? :glare: Like Pretty in Pink and SCGS, I'm sure I have said the exact same thing to people about my own ds when people asked about how our homeschooling was going, but not to try to make anyone else feel badly.

 

Obviously, I wasn't there to hear the woman's tone, but unless she rambled on for another 20 minutes about her perfect child, her perfect teaching abilities, and her perfect life, I can't imagine that anyone would find what she said to be problematic. :confused:

[SKL]

My first thought was that she felt the need to say how great her kid was doing, so that others would not suspect her of educational neglect. (In other words, she might have been dodging one of the most damaging homeschool stereotypes.)

 

She may also have wanted to change the subject by saying as little as possible in response to the specific question of "what are you doing."

 

Or, she might have been bragging. Some people do brag! You don't have to be a homeschooler to do it, either.

 

Truth be told, the WTM "accelerated learner" board saves me from the tempation to "brag" more often than I should admit.

[J-rap]

It would bother me, too, but of course you'll find people like that everywhere, even in public school! :) Also, I do believe that there are some parents who talk like that who don't even realize they're bragging; they're just saying it like it is. (But it would still bother me!)

[tex-mex]

Maybe she was feeling defensive and overcompensated?

:iagree:

[Tess in the Burbs]

Oh there are two moms at gymnastics that I wish the earth would swallow them up when they talk about homeschooling. It's obnoxious and condescending and embarrassing and I always want to leave for fear someone will ask me where we go to school. I wouldn't want to be associated with these people! And one this week asked another mom who had the homeschool tag(not many of us there that day....they are going to figure me out!).

 

They say the most idiotic stuff. The best one yet: Homeschool mom told a group listening to her that homeschoolers do co-ops--otherwise how would they socialize? :001_huh:

 

I am glad homeschooling is there, but I wish some people would just not advertise their status as a homeschooler. They aren't bringing people over to our side of life.....these people are clearly thinking she's nuts!

[Kertie]

She was talking about her own experience and while it sounded like a brag to you it may very well have been how homeschooling looks in her house. If it seems to fit with certain homeschooling stereotypes, oh well, that's not her issue and I'm not sure what she should have said or done differently.

 

I thought this, too. I obviously couldn't hear her tone, and she may well have been obnoxiously bragging, but I also know that if other moms start talking about reading, I have to sit quietly, because there's nothing I can say that someone won't take as bragging. I get caught in the "why did you decide to homeschool" question, because the original reason was discovering that ds1 could read at a very young age. Even when I emphasize the "discover" part, SOMEONE will think I'm bragging. And, honestly, when you have a child that reads that far ahead, it does seem like he teaches himself. I'm NOT an unschooler, but I can't tell you how many times we go to talk about something, especially in History or Science, and I get a "I already know about that, Mom"--because he read about it on his own.

 

Personally, I get sick to death of people that can't just share the ups and downs of raising and/or homeschooling kids without turning everything into a competition or making assumptions. But, I guess all of that is why there are separate boards for Special Needs and Accelerated Learners.

[Jpoy85]

I would of been upset too. Not every child (hs'd or not) can be advanced like that. :grouphug:

[SJ.]

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

In what way were you offended by what the woman said? :confused: It's not as though she was going on and on about what a wonderful mother and brilliant teacher she was -- actually, she sounded somewhat self-deprecating to me, because she said her child basically taught himself. She wasn't trying to take credit for being Super Mom. It seemed like she was saying that she was very fortunate to have a bright kid.

 

What was she supposed to do -- lie about her son's abilities on the off-chance that someone would be too envious to deal with the truth? :glare: Like Pretty in Pink and SCGS, I'm sure I have said the exact same thing to people about my own ds when people asked about how our homeschooling was going, but not to try to make anyone else feel badly.

 

Obviously, I wasn't there to hear the woman's tone, but unless she rambled on for another 20 minutes about her perfect child, her perfect teaching abilities, and her perfect life, I can't imagine that anyone would find what she said to be problematic. :confused:

 

:iagree:

[jenangelcat]

I agree with this. I'm not sure why you were offended by what she said. I've made similar statements with regards to my eldest -- the boy is quite bright, pretty much teaches himself, and has done so for years now. It's not a brag, just a statement of fact.

 

Ditto. My daughter is pretty advanced in comparison to other kids her age. I'm not going to not speak about her accomplishments just to avoid potentially offending somebody else. She's proud of her kid, so what? It's not about her, just your own insecurities.

[warneral]

I think I can understand her because I notice when I talk to people about HS I'm trying to "prove" that they are getting a good education.

[DarlaS]

Why is it so taboo to talk about a kid's academic success? Especially when questioned.

 

This does not seem to apply to other areas. Like sports.

 

If someone had asked her how her ds was doing in karate, should she evade answering honestly if he had just earned a new belt rank or got promoted ahead of the usual time? I think no one would hesitate to share that kind of success and unless it was really over the top, few would consider it bragging.

 

And some kids do practically teach themselves. Just like some adults can teach themselves anything, and others do better in a class or with a tutor.

[Embassy]

I'm not sure I understand the OP. Do you consider advanced children weird and unsocialized or do you consider the mother to be weird and unsocialized?

[Desert Rat]

See, I didn't take it as bragging. I took it to mean that she didn't do much school. Ha! I thought the OP was upset because it made it look like homeschoolers don't do much at home.

[black_midori]

I think I can understand her because I notice when I talk to people about HS I'm trying to "prove" that they are getting a good education.

 

It occurred to me as I was re-reading this thread that the above is probably high on the list of reasons why I might put forth all of the great achievements & play down the not-so-great moments... lol. I know when I talk to my big brother who doesn't think HS kids could possibly get a good education without higher state standards (learned after a discussion of how lax my state's standards are - which I think is *GREAT*) I tend to be on the "braggy" side & when I commiserate with my best friend (who homeschools) we gripe about the "this is hard" stuff! :)

 

Maybe she has had past conversations with these people that put her on a constant edge about certain things. It is just so hard to say.

[Night Elf]

Personally, I get sick to death of people that can't just share the ups and downs of raising and/or homeschooling kids without turning everything into a competition or making assumptions. But, I guess all of that is why there are separate boards for Special Needs and Accelerated Learners.

 

Hmm... strange way to word that, but as it's written, I disagree. Those specialized boards are a place where people can go for specfic concerns and/or questions. That's why they were set up. With the volume of posts and readers on this site, there has to be more than one board or it would be really hard to wade through so many post. But not because we can't all share ups and downs.

[Mommyof4ks]

It's great that her child is a good reader and works well independently. But just wait til she has a child in 2nd grade who struggles to read at grade level, is completely baffled by long division, and prefers to spend his time in La La Land. :D That will tone down her conversation right quick.

 

:iagree: Try not to let it get to you. My dd is just like her son, she practically taught herself and is advanced academically for sure (lacks common sense, but that is another thread :D), but my 2nd child struggles to gain anything academically. The classical model is great for him, because while we are working on the reading and math he is still learning a lot through read alouds and hands on projects.

[8circles]

Why is it so taboo to talk about a kid's academic success? Especially when questioned.

 

This does not seem to apply to other areas. Like sports.

 

If someone had asked her how her ds was doing in karate, should she evade answering honestly if he had just earned a new belt rank or got promoted ahead of the usual time? I think no one would hesitate to share that kind of success and unless it was really over the top, few would consider it bragging.

 

And some kids do practically teach themselves. Just like some adults can teach themselves anything, and others do better in a class or with a tutor.

:iagree:

My oldest is naturally quite advanced & I'm not going to not say it JIC I might offend someone. He is certainly lacking in other areas & I don't hide those things either.

 

My second is quite the opposite & I speak quite honestly about him as well. Sometimes people are just being honest - I find that refreshing. It isn't a competition.

[Catwoman]

I would of been upset too. Not every child (hs'd or not) can be advanced like that. :grouphug:

 

But so what?

 

No matter who you are, there will always be someone smarter than you are, or prettier, or better at sports, or more artistic or more musically-inclined, or whatever.

 

Should no one ever say a proud word about anything, for fear of offending people who can't deal with it that either they or their children can't live up to a particular achievement or ability? :confused:

 

I'm sorry, but I really think that, unless a person is truly an obnoxious braggart (and let's face it, most of those people are also masters of exaggeration... ;)) I can't understand why anyone would be upset about a mom saying that her kid is reading at a certain grade level and practically teaches himself. It's not really that big a deal. She's not making up a big story about how her 4 year-old just finished Advanced Calculus; lots of kids are advanced in at least a subject or two, and the mom mentioned it when she was asked how the homeschooling was going.

 

It sounds to me like the people who are upset, are actually either envious, highly competitive, or both.

 

Everyone's kids are special in their own way and have their own gifts and talents, so I think it is quite shallow to feel hurt in any way by an innocent comment about a kid's reading level. My question is this -- why would you compare your kids to someone else's anyway? (And if the OP is feeling upset, she is doing just that -- or is feeling somehow inferior to the other mom, because she is taking an entirely impersonal comment that wasn't even directed toward her, and making it personal.)

 

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I could very well have been "that other mom" on many occasions when people asked specific questions about our homeschooling, and I can honestly tell you that I was never, ever trying to make it seem like I was a better mom or that my ds was better than their kids. All kids are special and have their own gifts, abilities, and personalities, and I would never consider one child to be superior to another because of something silly like a reading level, nor would I like to think that my child is being judged by others for a reason like that.

Edited May 6, 2012 by Catwoman

[RanchGirl]

I think you should give this Mom a break, she just hasn't yet learned that it is taboo to talk about your children if they're advanced academically. It doesn't matter if they're homeschooled or not, it just brings out other parents' insecurities.

 

Don't worry, she'll learn.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think you should give this Mom a break, she just hasn't yet learned that it is taboo to talk about your children if they're advanced academically. It doesn't matter if they're homeschooled or not, it just brings out other parents' insecurities.

 

Don't worry, she'll learn.

 

I know. And here I thought that one of the reasons I was homeschooling was so that my kids wouldn't learn that celebrating their academic abilities was something to hide.

[pbb119]

It's great that her child is a good reader and works well independently. But just wait til she has a child in 2nd grade who struggles to read at grade level, is completely baffled by long division, and prefers to spend his time in La La Land. :D That will tone down her conversation right quick.

 

omgosh, that is me, too!!!! Yes, to the poster that said God has a way of humbling, boy does He ever!!!! ds9 was full blown reading at 3. ds7 started 1st grade w/o fully knowing all the letters in the alphabet, much less read. La La Land...yes, we have souvenirs all over the classroom from his visits.

 

The mom probably moved on to how her child was walking by 8 months.....

 

Those parents are everywhere...let it roll off your shoulders momma! :grouphug:

[DarlaS]

omgosh, that is me, too!!!! Yes, to the poster that said God has a way of humbling, boy does He ever!!!! ds9 was full blown reading at 3. ds7 started 1st grade w/o fully knowing all the letters in the alphabet, much less read. La La Land...yes, we have souvenirs all over the classroom from his visits.

 

The mom probably moved on to how her child was walking by 8 months.....

 

Those parents are everywhere...let it roll off your shoulders momma! :grouphug:

 

Okay. Those of you who are so looking forward to this "braggy" mom being humbled, please explain something to me.

 

The OP stated that the mom said her kid was working easily above level and she didn't have to do much... How does that in any way translate to giving herself credit for his abilities? :001_huh: I just didn't get that from what was posted.

 

My oldest was just like the woman described. Still is. Ds 15 and dd 11 are very bright, but need to work somewhat harder and are much more prone to procrastinating and dilly dallying around (They are like me. Both of them! :lol:). Sorry to disappoint, but I do not feel "humbled". Kids are different. Believe it or not, even parents with high ability kids do realize this.

 

I don't feel humbled because contrary to what anyone might have thought if they overheard me in a conversation about him, I never took credit for his ability in the first place.

[historically accurate]

NM

Edited May 6, 2012 by beckyjo

[Rebecca VA]

I think the bragging part came in when the woman mentioned about her son being in second grade and reading on a fifth grade level. For her to mention it at all means she was trying to get the information out there for all to hear. She wasn't saying, "oh, yeah, my son likes to read," or "reading is his thing," or something general that was kind of nondescript. It didn't sound like she was trying to bond with the other moms over shared experiences. She wanted them to know that she has a boy genius on her hands and that he's so brilliant she doesn't even have to lift a finger to teach him.

 

To those moms who think anyone who objects to bragging is secretly burning with jealousy -- uh, no. My kids read early, too. There are many things in my life that I could boast and brag about -- just as almost everyone else here has as well -- but I try not to, unless I'm bonding with someone who is right there at the same level with me in that particular area. Boasting is just kind of ugly, and people recognize it and despise it. It doesn't mean they're trembling with insecurity.

[Mrs Mungo]

I think the bragging part came in when the woman mentioned about her son being in second grade and reading on a fifth grade level. For her to mention it at all means she was trying to get the information out there for all to hear.

 

I disagree. I am frequently asked why we homeschool. My eldest dd's extremely high reading level at a young age is one of the main reasons. She read The Children's Homer before she would have started kindergarten. She plucked it off the shelf, read it, loved it and basically accused me of holding out on her, lol. That is why she did not go to kindergarten. There was only one kindergarten class, and they spent the first month learning the alphabet. The particular school would not consider advancing kindergartners. So, homeschool it was. That is our reason. When people ask, I tell them.

[kroe1]

:grouphug:

 

I'm not sure what part of the snippet of conversation you heard that makes you feel bad, but hugs to all the parts.

 

If I was trying to see the cup half full, then I'd reason that the mom was trying to convince the other women to homeschool.

 

Many people assume my youngest kiddo is a genius because she works out of textbooks a couple of grade levels ahead. I have to tell them, "no" she is a regular kiddo who happens to school all year round. We skip the repeat and catch up pages at the beginning of all texts. Since she is the only kid in her class, we don't do every problem on the page or read every book required. We do the bare minimum to give her a reasonable "A" or "B" course experience and it still takes a good 5 hours of my time each day. So, of course, she's a couple of years ahead. We are lucky. She is lucky. So be it.

 

Totally OT, I am still angry that people don't brag more about homeschooling. What a waste that my first kiddo spent all those years in a brick building. Why didn't someone defend and brag on his "religious", "freaky", "nonsocialized" children so I could gain the same? Instead, when I used to ask about socialization, I would get a shoulder shrug, a huff, and a walk off. Why wasn't I given a good shake and a kick on the backside?

 

We may not feel up to battling the nonbelievers, and we may get sick of the weird looks, snubbed noses, etc. But one a day a mom is going to see the light and give her kiddo a better education sooner rather than late

 

Why did I go off on a tangent yet again, today?

:)

[prairiebird]

I think the bragging part came in when the woman mentioned about her son being in second grade and reading on a fifth grade level. For her to mention it at all means she was trying to get the information out there for all to hear. She wasn't saying, "oh, yeah, my son likes to read," or "reading is his thing," or something general that was kind of nondescript. It didn't sound like she was trying to bond with the other moms over shared experiences. She wanted them to know that she has a boy genius on her hands and that he's so brilliant she doesn't even have to lift a finger to teach him.

 

To those moms who think anyone who objects to bragging is secretly burning with jealousy -- uh, no. My kids read early, too. There are many things in my life that I could boast and brag about -- just as almost everyone else here has as well -- but I try not to, unless I'm bonding with someone who is right there at the same level with me in that particular area. Boasting is just kind of ugly, and people recognize it and despise it. It doesn't mean they're trembling with insecurity.

 

 

Yes, thank you! I am scratching my head at all these responses that boil down to an upset listener with many insecurities and jealousy. Yeah, you start oversharing details of your child's advanced academics when asked a few general questions, homeschooled/private/public, you sound like you are bragging. Now if you have someone asking questions that are more specific, that's different. Maybe someone has asked what program a homeschooling parents uses and they say the kid is taking Saxon calc in 6th grade and goes on to talk about having an advanced kid. But who exactly is benefiting in a situation where unsolicited information like that is brought up to the most general questions?

 

It's big issue with me and hits hot spots because I was an advanced public school student. It embarrassed the crap out of me in a bad way to have a parent go on and on about how great or ahead I was at X subject or what awards I received or whatever it was she was talking about. Because to me, as the person she's talking about, it sounded like bragging. If someone asked her, "How's prairebird doing in school?" that wasn't usually an invite to detail every single thing I'd done recently and every single award or advanced thing. Especially if I was present, you could see the person listening in kind of rolling their eyes.

 

So when I see someone doing it now, in conjunction with homeschooling in particular but regarding public and private school, my brain instantly goes to: why. (And I always feel a bit of secondary embarassment for the child involved when it's a huge, random blurt of their abilities.) Why are you sharing this? Is this a very good friend or family member that really wants to know and has interest? Would you go into the same amount of detail for a child at any other ability level, or is it specific to this advanced child? Why is it important that the listener know that your kid is taking calc in 6th grade or whatever it is? Did they have questions for you? Did they ask something specific? Is it the ego-boost you get by saying it? Seriously. I wish people would think a bit about it because there's a child attached to each statement. /my soapbox.

[Jen in PA]

I disagree. I am frequently asked why we homeschool. My eldest dd's extremely high reading level at a young age is one of the main reasons. She read The Children's Homer before she would have started kindergarten. She plucked it off the shelf, read it, loved it and basically accused me of holding out on her, lol. That is why she did not go to kindergarten. There was only one kindergarten class, and they spent the first month learning the alphabet. The particular school would not consider advancing kindergartners. So, homeschool it was. That is our reason. When people ask, I tell them.

 

:iagree: I tend to give a general statement about the schools not being a good fit for my dc's needs, without saying whether those needs are for acceleration or remediation. When pressed, I am more than willing to give the details.

[KungFuPanda]

What if she was addressing a group that tried to talk her out of homeschooling to begin with? There's just not enough information. This is the danger of eavesdropping. On the other hand, obnoxious bragging is eye roll worthy whether it's about academics, sports, or music. I don't think anything gets a free pass here.