Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Maybe if I died, but even then it would be HIGHLY doubtful. Seems kind of like giving you child away. Personally, I had children to HAVE children in my life to raise, love, and support. Sending a child to boarding school doesn't mean that you don't love or support them. Sometimes it is in the child's best interest to get away from the home environment. If my mother had seen one single way out for me when I was a teen she would have taken it, because she loved me. I wouldn't send my own dc to school because I can provide for them, and they have a hope for a good future where they are. If those things weren't true I'd have to consider whether staying with me was best for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I don't think I would. Our family and time spent with our children is priority, and it goes so fast. One of the main reasons we homeschool is to have more time with them! On the other hand, if the child were an older teen (junior or senior year), very solid, grounded, capable, and the school was amazing and had some opportunity that would really benefit them, I would m a y b e consider it. Afterall, we let one of our daughters graduate from high school at a young age, a year early, and then she went off to school in France for a year after that. I suppose it wouldn't be much different than that... And of course in your friend's situation, I'd consider it much more seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth in MN Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Not a chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Never. Back when I was pregnant with Zee, my dh suggested to his mom that she should retire so that she could watch him 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, so I could go back to work. Of course, he was assuming she wanted to do that, that she'd do it happily and for free, and that I wanted to do that. And he said this to her in front of me, without even have discussed it with me beforehand. :glare: I gave him this :001_huh:, then this :glare:, then said 'I want to have children so that I can raise them, not so that someone else can'. That was the end of that discussion. And that's still how I feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 In our current situation, no. But in your friend's situation, I would seriously consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Nope...never. Part of why I homeschool is so that I can have an active role in my children's childhoods and spend time with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 It is not even remotely on my radar to send my kids to boarding school. In that particular mother's circumstances, maybe I would. If I had a 15+ teenager pushing for a particular opportunity and the teen was mature and driven, I would consider our options at that point. Our nephew and his mother moved 12 hours away from my BIL for 2 years for him to go to a performing arts school. I thought they were nuts at the time, but he's very successfully pursuing dance in college and my SIL and BIL were happily reunited. So, you never know. We live in a larger urban area though so we have so many amazing options and opportunities within 30 miles of our front door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I never would but we are not in the position to need that kind of support for my kids to achieve their dreams. I would have to seriously consider it if the school was able to provide the tools to allow my child the future I want for her and I wasn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 I wouldn't do that in a million years. I want to be the one raising my children, not a boarding school, no matter what kind of education they can provide. That's just me though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azmomx3 Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 NO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 We would be open to residential education for high school (and perhaps a bit younger, in an exceptional situation), but only if the school shared our family's religious beliefs. It looks like this one doesn't, so we'd decline. Not sure if/how the religious issue applies to the family in question. From the replies, I guess some people see boarding school as the polar opposite of homeschooling, but in some ways they're similar. The students are learning in the same place where they live, and with the same group of people. When it's done well, this can help to integrate academics with everyday life, free up time for extracurricular activities, and provide opportunities to build strong relationships with peers and adult role models. With boarding school, these relationships are going to be with people outside the family, but to us, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. For our family, "spending as much time as possible with our children" isn't a primary reason for homeschooling. It's more of a fringe benefit. :) I love spending time with them, and would miss them tremendously if they went to boarding school (or even to day school), but I can also imagine circumstances in which it would be selfish of me to keep them at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetIrony Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Only if it was Hogwarts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 A few years ago I would have said adamantly NO. Now with teenagers I would consider it, but not because we have any kind of difficulties. I see them maturing and developing into wonderfully competent adults and a part of that is eventually leaving the nest. If it was an opportunity that might enhance their education and lives, I would certainly consider it. Right now I am still slowly coming to grips with the thought of oldest son going off to college in 3 1/2 years! Where'd time go??? But still, if a boarding school option was available that he wanted to pursue, I would do my best to cope with it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
posybuddy Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 Only if it was Hogwarts! Like button!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 We would be open to residential education for high school (and perhaps a bit younger, in an exceptional situation), but only if the school shared our family's religious beliefs. It looks like this one doesn't, so we'd decline. Not sure if/how the religious issue applies to the family in question. From the replies, I guess some people see boarding school as the polar opposite of homeschooling, but in some ways they're similar. The students are learning in the same place where they live, and with the same group of people. When it's done well, this can help to integrate academics with everyday life, free up time for extracurricular activities, and provide opportunities to build strong relationships with peers and adult role models. With boarding school, these relationships are going to be with people outside the family, but to us, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. For our family, "spending as much time as possible with our children" isn't a primary reason for homeschooling. It's more of a fringe benefit. :) I love spending time with them, and would miss them tremendously if they went to boarding school (or even to day school), but I can also imagine circumstances in which it would be selfish of me to keep them at home. At my very good, very religiously conservative college- prep boarding school, I was introduced to alcohol at age 11. Kids were routinely bullied in the dorms but all under the radar of the houseparents. We caught one houseparent (a male) spying on the girls in the girls' dorm. There was a very strong legalistic "letter of the law" atmosphere of the school. My parents have said that in hind sight that it was the worst thing that they ever did for our family. I do know many others who had similar experiences but yet saw the overall experience as being ok. All this to say that being in an institutional setting (and all boarding schools are that, no matter how much they try to soften it) can lead to the possibility of abuse and do not necessarily solve problems but can lead to new ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 The more I think about it, I think it of course depends on the child's age and maturity level. If it's a high school student who is planning to go to college I would definitely be inclined to have her pursue it. I'd much prefer the child experience her first taste of freedom from me in the more sheltered atmosphere of a boarding school for (gifted and like-minded?) high school students than in the less sheltered college environment where there is more access to alcohol and everything. I would be beyond sad to see her leave of course, but it's not like I wouldn't encourage her to go off to college in just a few more years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 At my very good, very religiously conservative college- prep boarding school, I was introduced to alcohol at age 11. Kids were routinely bullied in the dorms but all under the radar of the houseparents. We caught one houseparent (a male) spying on the girls in the girls' dorm. There was a very strong legalistic "letter of the law" atmosphere of the school. My parents have said that in hind sight that it was the worst thing that they ever did for our family. I do know many others who had similar experiences but yet saw the overall experience as being ok. All this to say that being in an institutional setting (and all boarding schools are that, no matter how much they try to soften it) can lead to the possibility of abuse and do not necessarily solve problems but can lead to new ones. I've always appreciated your balanced, rational view of that period of your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 No. In general, I believe children do best living with family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Sending a child to boarding school doesn't mean that you don't love or support them. Sometimes it is in the child's best interest to get away from the home environment.:iagree: There are lots of reasons why boarding school can be a better option, especially at the high school level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenpatty Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Nope! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Not a chance. I realize there are families and children who benefit from boarding school. I believe that home and with their parents is where my kids thrive and do their best. They would be devastated if I sent them away before college! I'm not saying that no one should do that. But it is a never here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Nope. Not a chance. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Given the situation you describe and the age of the girl, I'd seriously consider it. My dh went to boarding school at that age. He felt it was outstanding. (Run by monks, so who knows if that makes a difference?) Guess I would take into consideration the issues the mom is having, the age of her dd and the educational opportunities available for college assuming there really was no other way to provide for that. But, I am still a supporter of keep them home because they grow and move on SO fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 The one girl I know personally who went to a boarding school ended up being kicked out for drug use. Her source was at the school. I know kids can find it anywhere, but it left a bad taste in my mouth for boarding schools. I have such a limited amount of time with my children. I don't want it to end early. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 My friend's daughter is 15 yrs old. She is at her wits end with her. Just isn't interested in doing anything. Has a hard time getting her to do her school work even. I've learned never to say "never! no way!" but I would almost definitely NOT send my child away to learn. However, if homeschooling and home in general was not a good situation for the child, then I would consider it. I wouldn't do it just because there were more opportunities or better academics. Although, that would make me wonder if the school wasn't full of kids who exasperate their parents :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Me, personally? No. But, I can see how it would be a valid and positive choice for some families! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Well, gosh, I could give my child away . . . and pay nothing for him/her anymore. Gosh, I guess I could have just NEVER HAD KIDS. That'd be a big cost savings. No way. My kid lives with me up until s/he is old enough to go away to college, so at least until age 16. I could *fathom* boarding school beginning at age 14 for a child with unique abillities and/or needs. But I can't fathom it prior to age 14. And, I would NOT make such a decision based on $$. If I made kid-rearing decisions based on $$, I'd certainly have not had three of them. Kids are money-black holes. I got over that a long time before I ever had any money. Life's not about money. It IS about family. And no $$ is buying my kids out of my home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 No. I would miss my children too much and feel like I was abandoning them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 In the situation you described, I'd seriously investigate it and fill out the application. There are risks to boarding school, but there are also risks to being stuck in a dead end high school with nothing to keep her interested and engaged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I've known many people who have sent their children to boarding schools. While I suspect it's not something I'd ever choose to do, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. I know very good families with good kids who've thrived in boarding schools. If homeschooling hadn't been an option for me (and there are many reasons why a parent might not homeschool), it would have been necessary for us to send our kids to a boarding school in the past because there have been no reliable schools in one of the places we lived in Kyrgyzstan. Even in Bishkek, the capital, there aren't a lot of choices and boarding school isn't uncommon here. Boarding schools can be great experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 (Deep breath.) My middle daughter is actually in the midst of the application process and will most likely attend one of the two boarding schools she considers starting next year, for high school - if they accept her and if she does not change her mind meanwhile. My eldest daughter is currently living with a host family in another country. IF the middle daughter ends up in one of the boarding schools of her choice, AND the eldest daughter opts not to come back (a valid option, she may wish to matriculate in the other school system), we would end up with a crazy situation in which our family lives over three countries on two continents. Sounds like an awesome "family life", right? :D But you know... I do know people who do that, quite routinely. And they still have happy families, and manage to connect in other ways (in fact, I swear that some of those parents still end up spending more time with their children than many other parents, between all the visits, holidays and Skype), and their kids still "turn out fine", and there are always additional considerations and different arrangements made if some of that is not working for somebody. For Heaven's sake, it is not like they drop off a child at a boarding school at age 5 and see them next time on their graduation at 18 years old :lol:, but boarding schools are an option because of crazy living arrangements (for many children, it is the only kind of stability in life, especially in parents' professions lead them to potentially unsafe places to live, such as conflict zones, etc.), because of better educational options, or other unique considerations that make them consider it a lesser of evils available, for that particular child that particular year in those particular circumstances. All of those parents struggle with some amount of guilt and big crises in which they miss their kids (kids on average take it VERY well, but parents not so much), but they are still convinced that they are doing the right thing for their children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I don't thnk I would say never. As a parent I try to do what fits for each of my dc . If boarding school fit and we could afford it I'd do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Absolutely not. A 'great' education is not worth having someone else parent my kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I only have littles' date=' but I can't imagine letting them go. However, I remember being a teen and if my child really, really, REALLY wanted to go, I would have to consider it. (Only 15 years and older)[/quote'] :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Is it Hogwarts? I could never understand how the parents let the kids go to boarding school. It would be tempting at times. BUT NO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabrett Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 My dd is attending a residential high school and we both love it! It is only for juniors and seniors. But, I don't think I would let a dc any younger that 16 attend that type of school. It is the best place for my dd because it is the only place around us that can provide they type of learning for voice she needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Is it Hogwarts? I could never understand how the parents let the kids go to boarding school. It would be tempting at times. BUT NO :iagree: The last time I watched Harry Potter I was watching it with my son (who just turned 9) and I realized that (if the movie was real) he would be leaving home in only 2 years - and I thought that was so sad! I spent the rest of the movie thinking about how sad it was that the kids didn't have parents they could turn to for help in the fight against Voldy. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 (edited) Let me just say (as someone who's already said that I went to boarding school and wouldn't send my kids there) that it would make a huge difference to me if it were an older teen and if the teen really wanted to go. I did not want to go. My siblings did not want to go. In a situation where we were there by duress, to then face some of the abuses that where there, put us in a position where we had no recourse - no hope of being able to leave. The situation was so bad that the school disbanded the boarding department two years after I graduated. The academic side of the school was excellent and remains excellent to this day. Edited January 26, 2012 by Jean in Newcastle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I think it needs to be noted also that there are different kinds of boarding schools. Some are very academic. Others are for impoverished or troubled kids. And some are for supposed troubled kids (there are some nightmare stories out there, such as Gothard's own personal "juvenile detention" centre and there is another B-something House). Each may have it's own issues and some may have greater issues of those in power taking advantaged of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I would say no, based on the residential aspect, assuming the same current home situation as we have now. I can see home circumstances where it might be in the child's best interests, even with a loving parent at home. I also think it depends on the age and interests of the child in question - for instance, for a teenager with specific talents or passions - e.g. I might consider it for a teen with exceptional musical ability offered the opportunity to attend a residential music school, or something along those lines. The personality of the child would also matter a great deal - mature, immature, introverted, extroverted? The short answer, though, is no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annlaura Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I went to boarding school for 10th-12th grades. I had a very positive experience. For high school age, I would certainly consider it. For younger, probably not. My mother decided against sending me starting in 7th grade, much to my chagrine. But by the time I went, I realized she'd been right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Just speaking hypothetically here. But am curious as to what other parents would do in a situation like this. What if you had an opportunity to send your child to an excellent school. With excellent teachers. They would pay for children's clothing, medical, dental expenses. There is no cost to the tuition. Even if your child does well they would pay for almost all their college expenses. Now what is the catch you say? (there's always a catch) Its a residential school. Meaning your children would be living on school grounds. With house parents and the such. Meaning it would be a good distance between you and your child for the school year. Of course they allow parent visitation on the weekends, activities and opportunities for the parents to come and watch their children , birthday parties etc. You can call, email, write etc. What would you do? Would you say, no, and pass up the opportunity? Or would you say , yes, because it could provide your child with every opportunity they could get in their educational life that you couldn't provide for them. I have a friend that is thinking about sending her child to a school like this and it got me thinking. What would I do if I had that opportunity. No freakin' way!! Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizaG Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 At my very good, very religiously conservative college- prep boarding school, I was introduced to alcohol at age 11. (...) I do know many others who had similar experiences but yet saw the overall experience as being ok. All this to say that being in an institutional setting (and all boarding schools are that, no matter how much they try to soften it) can lead to the possibility of abuse and do not necessarily solve problems but can lead to new ones. Yes, we have no illusions about that. One of the schools we're considering had scandals several years ago. But I've also heard horror stories in pretty much any context where there are human beings -- including groups of homeschooled teens. DH and I are very protective by most standards, but it's our belief that the outside world has so much to offer our children (and vice versa) that it's sometimes appropriate to take the risks inherent in letting them go. BTW, I don't think schools within our own religious tradition are guaranteed to be "safer" than others. Our reason for sticking to them is simply that we place a high value on the spiritual dimension in both the classroom and community life. :) Without that, it just wouldn't be worth it to us. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlmom Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 If it is Milton Hershey, we work there now as relief houseparents and we love it. Does it have some issues? Sure. But every job/school/etc. does. We love what we do and we've grown close to some of the kids that we work with. A lot of them are moving up to high school next year and we will truly miss them. I've thought about whether or not I would send my kids if we were eligible and the honest answer is that I don't know. The opportunities are incredible, even before the college tuition. Yes, there are kids there with various issues. Just like kids everywhere. If I was that worried about it I wouldn't take my 2 young kids there every other weekend. It's a very difficult decision and your friend is in my thoughts as she makes this choice. My suggestion to her is to make the decision based on what she feels is best for her child, and not based on scandals or heresay about the school itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Only if I wanted someone else to raise my child. For some people that's not a bad option. I'm not saying that judgmentally. Some parents for one reason or another might be better off in that situation. I'm thinking maybe political parents who are always on the road. Or parents who are sick or unavailable for other reasons. Family trauma going on. Extenuating circumstances of some kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I cannot imagine a situation that would make us even consider sending one of our daughters to boarding school. Only if it was Hogwarts! LOL! Too bad we're all Muggles here. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I would have LOVED to be able to go to a school like Interlochen when I was in high school, if one had been available at a price my family could afford, and I think it would have been a good thing for me. And if DD has an opportunity to go to a school that meets her needs in her teens, I can easily see sending her. I'd rather send her to a specialized high school with enriched courses in her interests than send her to college early, which I see as a very real possibility, particularly since the local colleges aren't all that exceptional (and I say this as someone who was on faculty for one of them). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1GirlTwinBoys Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 No, I would want my child with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 It sounds like an excellent opportunity on one hand, but... I wouldn't do it. I just couldn't. Even with a stellar educational possibility, I couldn't remove myself from their lives for that length of time. It's just how I parent. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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