If either of you has been sterilized...

[JumpyTheFrog]

Did you feel 100% completely at peace with it a few days before the procedure, or did you have a few doubts, if even your reasons for not having more kids were good?

[Catwoman]

I don't have any personal experience with this, but I would assume that it would be perfectly normal to have a few doubts. It's a big step.

[mom2jjka]

I had doubts then. I have regrets now. :sad:

[nukeswife]

I was full of doubts for the two days prior to hubbys big snip. Even though we had the 3 kids we always said would be our perfect number. Every so often I still have moments where I think "man it would be nice to have another" and usually within a few moments have to go somewhere and realize that I've finally gotten to the point where I don't need a sitter or don't have to drag a heard of kids with me. It's nice to go to the gym alone, or the library or book store alone. It's really nice to go grocery shopping alone. Don't get me wrong I love my kids but when dh is on deployment it's nice to get some time by myself without having to hire someone to stay with them.

[elise1mds]

No doubts, no regrets. We both always knew we wanted only two kids, and neither of us has ever felt a need for more.

[TravelingChris]

No doubts since my dh was 43 when he had the surgery and I was 44 and had significant medical issues. Our youngest, at that point, was almost 11 and our oldest was 18.

[Mommyfaithe]

No doubts, and no regrets. I was so done....and another pregnancy would have been disastrous for me physically. I have not ruled out adoption, but another biological baby would have killed me and left my kids without a mom. I wasn't willing to chance it....again.

Faithe

[sassenach]

A few doubts. I will say that my husband had stronger doubts and mostly did it for me. He regrets the decision and wishes we had one more. I don't regret it, except that I regret it for him. I think it was a bad decision to push for it even though he wasn't 100%. However, I am totally happy that we haven't had any more babies. I think dh would have always wanted just one more. He's a baby dude, which I love about him, but seriously, he would never stop.

 

So when he has expressed sadness about being done that makes me sad, too, but I've never personally felt sad about being done.

[blessedmom4god]

We had doubts, we even cancelled the first appointment. I've had regrets at time also, but I think thats normal. I do think it was the right thing to do for our family, but it was a hard one to make.

[MamaT]

I had no doubts, because my health required it. I knew we could adopt again (we already had one adopted dd), and we did.

[TGHEALTHYMOM]

I freaked out before surgery ( I was getting lap. done to diagnose and treat endometriosis) I have 7 children, and thought ablation and a tubal would stop symptoms as well as having lesions removed and that 1 surgery for all of it would be cheaper and less recovery time.

 

I did not have much time to think it through ( only a few days) because I waited a year to go to the Dr. and he was so cooky, he did not even want to do the surgery. ( I asked for a hysterectomy), mind you I had been suffering for 3 weeks a month for a full year and nursing a 1 year old that year.

I freaked out and told him not to do the tubal or ablation. And then he wanted to do some hormone shots that would trick my body into early menopause. ( I am now 37)... it was a temporary fix, so I was feeling pressure to be sterilized to treat my condition.

 

Now I am pregnant again and have regretted not getting a hysterectomy. I had 2 painful, rough pregnancies before this one, and this one started out horrid, IB ( from endo scarring, and major sickness) on and on different troubles. But I am doing better since eating more fermented foods and grass fed beef.

I still think I need a hysterectomy after this baby to stop endo and will push to have it done.

[NotAVampireLvr]

doubts at the time yes... Regrets? 2 1/2 years later I can honestly say I have no regrets. I had mine done during my 3rd c-section.

[sparrow]

A few doubts before dh went in, but I think it is understandable why. We chose to adopt instead of having biological children. Once he got the procedure done, that decision was set in stone. We had 2 children and felt our family was complete. An accidental adoption seemed unlikely :001_smile:.

[FriedClams]

I had doubts then. I have regrets now. :sad:

 

:iagree:

 

My Beloved does not / did not have either, so the results would be the same. I adore him and would never pressure him into anything.

[justamouse]

Doubts and regrets. AND I waited years and thought long and hard and now I'm going to see if I can get it reversed. Not that I will have another child, we're done, but I don't like the downward hormonal spiral I've fallen into. I AM the person this stuff happens to. My body is just crazy sensitive, and I put a whammy on it. I didn't listen to my gut. Big Mistake.

Edited January 24, 2012 by justamouse

[5LittleMonkeys]

At the time dh was preparing to have the procedure neither of us had any doubts about going through with it but we were both a little sad that there would be no more babies. We had 5, I was 39 and had a very hard pregnancy with the last dd and she ended up in NICU for 10 days, of which the first 5 we weren't sure we would be taking her home. It was very scary and not something I want to go through again.

 

Occasionally, I will have a pang of sadness that she is the last baby but then I look at our life the way it is and see how our family is evolving and growing and realize that stopping when we did was absolutely the best decision for us.

[ma23peas]

My husband was fixed...we had our 'reasons'...I had been in a tough car accident that made pregnancies very tough on my back and health in general....we had three children in 4 years..the last two just 13 months apart...so we 'felt' like we were doing it for the kids we had to keep me healthy for them and not risk another pregnancy...doctors were saying surgery was my only solution for my back....

 

Honestly, 13 years later, we still regret it. Sure, we can rationalize it and say it was a 'responsible' decision...but it was more out of fear...if we knew then what we know now (just life lessons and maturing)....we probably would not have done it....

[SuperDad]

Doubts then, yes. Not regretful now, but... wondering. Wondering what life would have been like if the procedure hadn't been done.

Wife had five miscarriages, each harder than the last, both physically and emotionally, before she had the procedure done. All of our kids are adopted. We love them. They rock.

[PeacefulChaos]

No doubts, no regrets here. :)

We always knew how many kids we wanted. The thought of having any more now is not pleasant! I nearly got my tubes tied when I had DS6, but halfway through the pregnancy we decided to wait to be sure. I did get my tubes tied when I had DD.

I would not change a thing.

It's freeing, really. Not to ever have to worry about getting pregnant any more - not having to worry about birth control, etc.

A friend of mine whose DH had the surgery says the same. It is a freeing, wonderful thing to just not have to think about it any more. It's done!!! :D

[MominIN]

I had no doubts, but it was also just a few weeks after I gave birth to our last. A year later and I still have no regrets.

[Unicorn.]

Some sadness, yes. We had always wanted 4. Two of each. Doubts, not really. We had good reasons for stopping, not medical, but good reasons. Regrets, not really.

[HappyCrazyMama]

No doubts, had a girl and a boy (and a dog) youngest was five. Absolutely, positively sure, both of us on the same page. DH got a reversal 2 years later.:D

[rwjx2khsmj]

I wanted four. He wasn't sure he would be a good dad. He had his vasectomy when I was pregnant with #4. It was a good choice for both of us and we haven't been sorry.

[Sukale]

No doubts, no regrets. It took us 10 years to get our second child. We were both getting older. I was high risk with her. In a perfect world I wanted three kids each 2 years apart and some mix of boys and girls. Sometimes I am sad over that want but soooo happy for the two amazing kids I got.

[rhrice3]

I had 3 beautiful, healthy children and was near 40 when the last was born. Tying my tubes was the natural thing to do when the last one was born. It was part of the C-section and did not call for any undue risks.

 

I did not have any regrets God's plan for me was not to have children early so I feel blessed to have had the 3 healthy ones that I had before 40.

 

ReneeR

[myfunnybunch]

A few doubts, but we knew it was the right choice.

 

I was 100% certain when I was pregnant with my last child. I asked dh to please get his vasectomy before I had the baby. He said, "But what if you want another baby?" I told him, "I KNOW I will want another after this one is born, that's why I want you to go now while I know it's the right choice."

 

I was right, I did want another. But I was also glad that the decision had already been made, because it was the right one.

 

Cat

[fhjmom]

No doubts when DH had his first V.

 

So very thankful God knew better than us and gave us Littlest anyway - love her so much and cannot imagine our family being complete without her.

 

Definitely no doubts when DH had his second V, while I was pregnant.

 

Then just to be sure, we had the doctor do a tubal during the C section when Littlest was delivered.

 

We are triple sure. :lol:

[Guest]

I had doubts and didn't go through with it. I am glad I didn't because I wound up wanting (and having) more children. Even now, I still want more.

[Grover]

Absolutely no doubts and no regrets.

[*~Tina~*]

Did you feel 100% completely at peace with it a few days before the procedure, or did you have a few doubts, if even your reasons for not having more kids were good?

 

 

Yes, the first time we scheduled it, we had doubts...cancelled...had two miscarriages...were blessed with our fifth and final child...then there were no more doubts...we were done. It was important to me that we be sure before we went forth in that direction. No regrets now :D

[Birdwinglips]

We had 3 high risk pregnancies and a child with a disability. We were at a greater risk of having a second child with the same disability.

 

Overall, I had always wanted 4 but after the last pregnancy roller coaster we decided to call it quits.

 

I have times when I wish we'd had another, but it passes.

[Stayseeliz]

I had my tubes tied during my 4th c-section. After two easy pregnancies, two hard pregnancies, preterm labor, months of bedrest, a NICU stay and 4 c-sections I knew we needed to be physically done. I really would've liked 1-2 more kids but I know when to say when.

[Peaceful Isle]

I had 4 c sections as well. My dr told me on the operating table I needed to get my tubes tied...unless I had some strict religious reason why not, because it was too risky to have another one for obvious reasons. I put that I had a few doubts,..it was more like I had a few "not wanting it to be true" moments, but another one could really be bad for my health, at the least. I am one of those moms who would want 10, but God knows :)

[Joker]

We had zero doubts before dh's vasectomy but there have been twinges of regret. I know we did the right thing (for the health of future babies) but there were a few, short lived moments that we wondered. We're back to zero regrets/doubts now and looking forward.

[kalanamak]

Not at peace: eager!!

[mommaduck]

No doubts. 11 pregnancies, 8 children, health and financial issues...we were sure.

[Shellers]

I had doubts then. I have regrets now. :sad:

 

This is me! I wish I would have spoke up. :sad: Actually I did speak up two years later but the procedure didn't work.

[missmoe]

I had doubts. 12 years later I don't have any regrets. I know it was for the best.

 

I did have to go through a mourning period. I mourned for the other babies I wanted for several years.

[Donna]

My hubby got snipped right at the end of my 3rd pregnancy while I was on bed rest and had been for weeks for the 2nd pregnancy in a row. We knew we were done. My body just had a hard time holding in babies and I couldn't even think of trying again. Also, we felt complete with 3. As much as I love babies, I am perfectly happy playing with other people's babies once a week at work and have never desired another for myself.

[DawnM]

I am not fixed, but I wish I were.....does that count?

 

I am 45 and have below a 0% desire to have more children by giving birth. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to adopting more though.

 

Since this is somewhat the topic of the Facebook "debate" I am dealing with currently (birth control being wrong for a Christian) I am a bit sensitive to the topic.

 

Dawn

[StartingOver]

1991 - tubal ligation 2001 - tubal reversal 2008 = tubal ligation My mom talked me into the first one, I regretted it from day one. I had a reversal in 2001 and went on to have two more babies. I am completely at peace with the second one though.

[Lovedtodeath]

I voted many doubts and some tears for about a year... mostly it was more sad when my youngest grew out of the baby stage. We are perfectly happy with it now.

 

If I got pg again, my physical health would probably not support the baby, and if it did... with a baby along with the other kids... I would worry about my mental health spiraling down again.

[berry]

Don't do it!! Yes, we had doubts. And we sorely regret it. We even tried a reversal but it didn't work. :( If I could go back, we would have just used birth control instead of doing something so drastic and life changing.

[Janie Grace]

We knew we were done, so no doubts based on that ~ I just feared that one day they'd discover that vasectomies are harmful to men's health or something. We did some research and went for it. We're glad we did.

[mommaduck]

It's like this...a friend once told me (she's the mother of six): You'll know when you are done.

 

I thought I would never be done. Nope, she was correct, I knew when I was done.

[Sahamamama]

I married at 37, had oldest at just over 38 (C-section), had thyroid cancer (surgery/treatment), difficult pregnancy with twins, had the twins just before turning 40 (C-section), and had a tubal ligation during that second C-section.

 

No doubts at the time.

 

Later, though, there were a few moments of panic -- "I'm really done, wow." -- and I suppose there was something parallel to regret. Not exactly regret, as in, I wish I hadn't done that. More of a wistful thought, as in, "I wish there had been more time in my life to feel that power and beauty of bringing forth life, to perhaps add another to our family."

 

My husband and I did grieve the brevity of our "reproductive season." We had waited so long for marriage, had reached the point of thinking we'd never be married or have children, and within a few short years we were married, the parents of three babies, and done! :001_huh:

 

It was an adjustment, to realize there was no going back. I still think it was the right decision, considering my age and overall health/strength, our very limited finances, small house (w/an underwater mortgage), and the age and health of my own parents. Three children were and are "enough" for us. We are so blessed.

 

But I'm not sure what I'd advise you. I do think you lose something of yourself through the process, something that you won't even realize is there until... it isn't.

 

Think about how you would feel if you lost your entire family... and were sterilized. You couldn't begin again. I think that's what bothered me for a while, but now (at 45), I'm over it. Now I wouldn't begin again, anyway, in the sense of having biological children, so the surgery five years ago (during a C-section) was the way to go.

 

HTH. :grouphug:

[Julie Smith]

No doubts, no regrets.

 

The only slight worry was about the actual surgery for dh, and the recover time. Which as it turned out was no problem what so ever.

[astrid]

One pregnancy, one child, vasectomy when she was six. No doubts, no regrets.

 

But spending so many years here (since way back before this new board) has made me realize that I am an aberration around here when it comes to family size/desire for more. :-)

astrid