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what to say to friend's "only cute to parent" photos


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I can't be the only one that gets email or personal facebook notices to look at photos of their kids doing cute things, that really aren't so cute unless you're there. I get away with ignoring most of them, but a few friends and my sister will call if I don't reply. So, what do you say beyond

-oh, so cute (sweet, darling or whatever applies)

-how funny

-lol

It seems to be worse this time of year.

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I try to comment on something cute about the child. Their beautiful eyes, their curly hair, that really cute outfit. Some kids just aren't traditionally "cute" but you can usually find something to flatter the Mommy about. You can't go wrong with "Oh! Look at those sweet little toes!"

 

If it's FB you can always fall back on a good old "Like" button.

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Oh my goodness, I was at a big family lunch several years ago with my family, my parents, my grandfather, my father's cousin and her dh. My father's cousin passed around a photo of her grandchildren. I was shocked speechless. :001_huh: I love children and see their beauty and innate cuteness easily. I have *never* been unable to find something on which to comment. This was the one and only time in almost 39 years that I couldn't find one, single, thing to comment on. Those poor dc were extremely unfortunate looking, their clothing was awful, the colors were odd and pukey, the pose was terrible... I could go on. I was stunned and passed the photo quickly to my dh while stumbling over a "hmm, wow" kind of muttering. I was horrified to be so speechless. :lol:

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:lol: You guys are cracking me up! My cousin just had a baby last Sunday. This poor baby girl totally has an old man comb-over. I just commented on pictures of her with my aunt, who had two boys plus my uncle's son and always wanted a little girl. Or I "liked" pictures of her in Saints clothing. I was so good and never once mentioned the comb-over;).

 

If someone posts a million pictures of their kid(s), I just "like" the whole album. Seems to satisfy most people.

 

And can I just say that I think it is really creepy that people actually call you and asky why you didn't comment on their kids' photos?

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"That's some baby!"

 

It's still true for the fugly ones :D

 

*SNORT* My friend has a fugly baby. I'd never tell her that as of course her sun rises and sets with him (as it should), but if I comment on her fb photos, it's something like: look how quickly he's growing or looks like he's having fun. I don't lie, I just don't mention how unfortunate he looks. I feel terrible even saying that on here, but it's true. He's just not cute. He's very sweet though and there is a chance he'll grow into the ears and nose. ;)

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Oh. When I saw the thread title I thought they were coming over the house with albums. Well if it's online say something nice, but vague enough so that it doesn't matter whether you looked at them or not. When fielding phone calls, say, "I can't wait to see the next set!"

 

Then worry about the ramifications of the lie...

 

:lol::grouphug:

 

I hear you.

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I don't think I have honestly seem a kid (or esp. a baby) that was "ugly". Sure, some kids could be on TV (extreme attractiveness) but I guess I think all little kids are cute to some degree. So I wouldn't have a problem saying "cute". But I certainly wouldn't do it on demand. That's just annoying. Next time I got a phone call, I'd probably say, "oh, I've been busy and didn't have a chance to look" -- just to let them know that viewing FB pix aren't on my top ten priority list!

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My youngest ds was early and looked like he needed to cook some more. I did not send photos out because I was worried what everyone was going to say. And honestly, if someone saw the pics and commented on his cute little toes I would know they were avoiding the fact he looked like a raisin. Just for the record, he grew into his wrinkled skin and is quite handsome now.

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You might have meant me, so can I just add that I could find something nice to say, but I'm stunned that the other poster had never seen an ugly baby.:001_huh:

 

The attractiveness of a baby has just never crossed my mind. :001_huh: It's a baby, he or is she is precious period.

 

OP, I've never heard of being asked to comment on FB! I post pics of my kids occasionally, particularly for family who live far away. I don't expect comments. Can you just click "like" or mention say, "thanks for sharing, love seeing your kids" to the whole album?

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But I certainly wouldn't do it on demand. That's just annoying.

 

I agree. To me, the problem is being backed into a corner & forced to comment.

 

I would enjoy seeing photos, but wouldn't always want to comment on them. If asked, I'd say the same thing -- I enjoy seeing the photos, but don't always have time to comment.

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I'm pretty sure she meant the "That's some pig (baby)!" part. :glare:

:iagree: That's what I thought too. I also think it is odd that people actually call if you don't comment on their FB photos.:confused: Sometimes when I don't want to be rude I like to use the word interesting; "oh wow, that's interesting".:D

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I guess it would depend on how many pictures are being sent. If she's sending them once an hour on the hour, then okay. Don't have the time. But if this is the once a year or few times a year "cute" picture fest, then indulge in a small kindness, and say, "Cool!" or "They look like they are having fun!" or "Glad to see them looking so happy!" (just to the first picture - I think you can comment on a whole group of pictures, too). These are all things that I'm sure you do want for them.

 

Every kid isn't going to be cute in a conventional sense, but every kid has something about them to be affirmed. Maybe that's what she's looking for - especially from a friend. And if you don't have that "cute" kid, it might be all the more important to hear it from a friend. Just taking the other POV.

 

Totally get the annoying EXPECTATION, but I'd rather avoid the phone call myself and know that I did a very small thing to make someone's day.

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I honed in on the part where she said it wasn't that funny or cute, unless you were there.

 

I had in mind people who showed you 200 pictures of daily activities that really hold little interest for the non-parent. For someone with kids, it takes a really exceptional event to truly be funny or cute. We all have friends who post multiple pictures daily. They aren't all comment worthy, especially if you've seen the other 199 pictures.

 

Now, I've been happily responding to people as I get Christmas cards.

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Im not even sure what to say here. Im sure some of you are very attractive but Im not sure about your personalities, based on this thread.;)

 

Really? You cant come up with anything nice to say about your loved ones' kids??? what's the matter with you?

 

 

:iagree: I also have not seen many not-cute babies. If these are people that you love, you should be nice. (Granted, they shouldn't demand comments, but just because they are rude doesn't mean that you should be too.)

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Im not even sure what to say here. Im sure some of you are very attractive but Im not sure about your personalities, based on this thread.;)

 

Really? You cant come up with anything nice to say about your loved ones' kids??? what's the matter with you?

:iagree: :iagree::iagree:Am I the only one who finds this thread incredibly sad? (not a poke at OP, btw). I guess I just assume everyone will have a loving response to things like that, especially baby photos... It has honestly never occurred to me that someone would think mean thoughts when seeing a baby. I hardly ever post or share any pics, but I totally can't imagine having an unkind response to someone else's. That is just so profoundly sad to me.

 

The attractiveness of a baby has just never crossed my mind. :001_huh: It's a baby, he or is she is precious period.

:iagree: I suppose it is all in your perspective. I will just continue to assume the best of others in this matter. Too sad to consider otherwise.

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I don't think anyone is grading you on originality, so sweet, cute, lol, funny are just fine. Repeat as needed.

 

Yes, following up with you if you don't comment might be a bit weird or needy, but it's obviously important to them, and such an easy thing to do (easier than fielding the phone call, right?).

 

If they start critiquing your comments, THEN you have a problem! :D

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I honed in on the part where she said it wasn't that funny or cute, unless you were there.

 

I had in mind people who showed you 200 pictures of daily activities that really hold little interest for the non-parent. For someone with kids, it takes a really exceptional event to truly be funny or cute. We all have friends who post multiple pictures daily. They aren't all comment worthy, especially if you've seen the other 199 pictures.

 

 

Yes...likea picture of a bunch of kids' head leaning over a table at some family gathering (not a birthday party where at least there's a cake to see)...why even post that?

 

I have trouble with the newborn baby pictures that get passed around. I feel like you're expected to say how cute or adorable the baby is, and I do not think fast on my feet. And I think many newborn babies are not very cute at all (including at least one of mine--he looked just like my FIL!) so I have trouble thinking of something truthful to say.

 

I don't think people in this thread necessarily have trouble thinking of something kind to say, but if they feel expected to say something about the cuteness of the child/photo, that might be hard to truthfully do at times.

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Honestly, my primary reason for posting pictures of DD is for my parents, who don't live locally and LOVE the pictures of DD at gymnastics, or dance, or whatever. I don't expect friends who have kids of their own to even LOOK at those pictures, unless of course their child was at the same event, in which case I'll probably tag them in the album so they can share the picture with THEIR out of area grandparents :).

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I guess it would depend on how many pictures are being sent. If she's sending them once an hour on the hour' date=' then okay. Don't have the time. But if this is the once a year or few times a year "cute" picture fest, then indulge in a small kindness, and say, "Cool!" or "They look like they are having fun!" or "Glad to see them looking so happy!" (just to the first picture - I think you can comment on a whole group of pictures, too). These are all things that I'm sure you do want for them.

 

Every kid isn't going to be cute in a conventional sense, but every kid has something about them to be affirmed. Maybe that's what she's looking for - especially from a friend. And if you don't have that "cute" kid, it might be all the more important to hear it from a friend. Just taking the other POV.

 

Totally get the annoying EXPECTATION, but I'd rather avoid the phone call myself and know that I did a very small thing to make someone's day.[/quote']

 

Agreed. My toddler has a congenital craniofacial deformity and while I feel really OK about it now when he was a baby I was really sensitive and I needed to hear from other people, especially friends and family, that he was cute.

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Am I the only one who finds this thread incredibly sad? (not a poke at OP, btw). I guess I just assume everyone will have a loving response to things like that, especially baby photos... It has honestly never occurred to me that someone would think mean thoughts when seeing a baby. I hardly ever post or share any pics, but I totally can't imagine having an unkind response to someone else's. That is just so profoundly sad to me.

 

Well, I only had this come up once. I was in college and a classmate showed me this photo of her new niece and said "isn't that the cutest baby you ever saw?" Baby was an unhappy-looking mixture of orange, green, and purple and I honestly could not find one speck of cuteness in that photo. (And I adore babies.) I had this thing about lying (even to save someone's feelings), and I don't have a gift for words, so I honestly was at a loss. I did my best to smile/chuckle and gave the photo back. Then I ran home and asked my mom what I should have done, LOL.

 

Mom gave me three words of wisdom that have served me well ever since. (1) Every mother (and grandma) thinks her baby is the most remarkable baby ever. (2) Nobody else thinks your kid is as cute as you think she is. (3) Be prepared with a catch-all compliment at all times. "Awww, how sweet" was my mom's suggestion.

 

I was kinda surprised that I didn't get flamed for my earlier response acknowledging that there could be a really ugly baby. Apparently it's an accepted fact in this community.

 

As my mom used to say, "ugly in the cradle, pretty at the table." There is hope for every child.

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I think it's safe to assume that nobody who indulges in humor on this thread at the expense of an imaginary ugly baby is actually going on a massive baby-teasing rampage in real life. The OP was tracked down for commentary. That's funny, worthy of a mini-vent, and just asking for a little teasing that never leaves your head. This thread is the perfect outlet for that. Not everyone has a sterile sense of humor.

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I think it's safe to assume that nobody who indulges in humor on this thread at the expense of an imaginary ugly baby is actually going on a massive baby-teasing rampage in real life. The OP was tracked down for commentary. That's funny, worthy of a mini-vent, and just asking for a little teasing that never leaves your head. This thread is the perfect outlet for that. Not everyone has a sterile sense of humor.

 

:iagree: In my post, I was literally stunned that I couldn't come up with one thing to say. It is so totally out of character for me and unexpected. I had never experienced that before and have never experienced it since. But for heaven's sake, I didn't blurt out "Ugh!" and run away screaming! :tongue_smilie: I tried valiantly to hide my disbelief and cover it up. :D I am about positive that my dad's cousin had no idea I stumbled so badly.

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Agreed. My toddler has a congenital craniofacial deformity and while I feel really OK about it now when he was a baby I was really sensitive and I needed to hear from other people, especially friends and family, that he was cute.

 

:grouphug: I have a child with a syndrome, and while she doesn't have any physical features, I've become sensitive to this b/c others "like her" do.

 

Everyone has something pretty about them. If you are stumped, "he/she is so sweet" always works.

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What do you say, though, when it's the baby's own mother who thinks he's ugly? I ran into an acquaintance who had her infant with her and she kept going on about how homely he is. "He has hair in his ears and his nose is huge and he already has a unibrow and I just know he's going to get his grandmother's thin lips..." and on and on. Now, this baby is unlikely to be on any magazine covers any time soon, I grant, but he was still adorable. I kept saying how cute he was, but the mom just interrupted to tell me I was wrong and he's ugly. I know she loves him anyway, but gracious! Aren't we all supposed to think our own babies are the cutest things (even if we acknowledge they might not be classically beautiful)?

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My friend is a barista. One of her former coworkers came in with a 5 y/o my friend hadn't seen since she was an infant. My friend told her she was as adorable now as she was then. The mom said, irritated, "We don't lie to her or encourage her to believe lies." :001_huh: That was horrid. My friend was flabbergasted.

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What do you say, though, when it's the baby's own mother who thinks he's ugly? I ran into an acquaintance who had her infant with her and she kept going on about how homely he is. "He has hair in his ears and his nose is huge and he already has a unibrow and I just know he's going to get his grandmother's thin lips..." and on and on. Now, this baby is unlikely to be on any magazine covers any time soon, I grant, but he was still adorable. I kept saying how cute he was, but the mom just interrupted to tell me I was wrong and he's ugly. I know she loves him anyway, but gracious! Aren't we all supposed to think our own babies are the cutest things (even if we acknowledge they might not be classically beautiful)?

 

I think she still needed to hear that you thought the baby was cute. If a mother is so adamant that her baby is ugly, I'd wonder whether she had some sort of a PPD and was detaching from the baby.

 

My mother's favorite story about me as a baby was how she walked down the street, sobbing, because I was so ugly, and my eyes were ugly, and ears were ugly, and so on. :confused: She bumped into a friend who told her that all babies looked that way, and that my ears were totally normal. :D

 

Now, my mother implied many times during my childhood that I was an ugly child, and it felt good to know that someone had stood up for me and told her that I wasn't ugly.

 

I'm not classically beautiful or cute, but I am decently attractive, and somehow managed to grow up content with my physical appearance. :)

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Fugly = F'ing ugly

I didn't know this. I just thought it was a way to make the word 'ugly' not sound so bad.

 

The attractiveness of a baby has just never crossed my mind. :001_huh: It's a baby, he or is she is precious period.

 

OP, I've never heard of being asked to comment on FB! I post pics of my kids occasionally, particularly for family who live far away. I don't expect comments. Can you just click "like" or mention say, "thanks for sharing, love seeing your kids" to the whole album?

 

:iagree:

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