I guess it would depend on how many pictures are being sent. If she's sending them once an hour on the hour, then okay. Don't have the time. But if this is the once a year or few times a year "cute" picture fest, then indulge in a small kindness, and say, "Cool!" or "They look like they are having fun!" or "Glad to see them looking so happy!" (just to the first picture - I think you can comment on a whole group of pictures, too). These are all things that I'm sure you do want for them. Every kid isn't going to be cute in a conventional sense, but every kid has something about them to be affirmed. Maybe that's what she's looking for - especially from a friend. And if you don't have that "cute" kid, it might be all the more important to hear it from a friend. Just taking the other POV. Totally get the annoying EXPECTATION, but I'd rather avoid the phone call myself and know that I did a very small thing to make someone's day.

We do incorporate it into our homeschooling, but in a flexible way. I change the table semi-regularly based on the themes we are studying, but the kids feel pretty empowered to bring in items (whether they fit the theme at all). I actually schedule the themes for the nature table, but try to leave room for found objects. Our nature table is sometimes more Waldorfy/celebrating the beauty of nature and the seasons and sometimes more of a science observation center. This month it's arranged to honor advent and has a spiral of 24 candles for advent along with natural items. Our honoring of Advent with lighting the candles will go along with a series of short stories leading up to the coming of Jesus in addition to some activities around learning the history of different Christmas traditions. But my son has also put a bird's nest that he found on the sidewalk there. Often, serendipitiously, what they bring in ties into the theme in some way (I'm totally going to discuss how interesting that he found a bird's nest and the possibility that the nest once held baby birds and tie in connections to the coming of Christ; what was Jesus' first home as a baby, etc...nothing too forced, but I'm a whiz at making analogies). I only change our nature table about once a month, so it's not constantly changed to reflect our studies. But we do use things on the table as they tie in with our studies (we probably pay attention to the nature table specifically for study about once a month). I have a K'er and a 4 year old, so the connections are pretty easy right now. I also have the Private Eye book (we just haven't used it that much yet) and we do weekly narration style - tell me what you observe/I wonder why it's shaped like that type stuff that we can follow up on - a few weeks ago, we did a lot on how shells provide protection. We had nutshells and seashells of different kinds on the table. I hope that gives you some sense of how we use it.

If modesty or offensive words on clothing are not an issue, allow her the exploration. It's one of the adolescent biggies - dressing oneself to suit one's tastes. Save input for a few biggies - your grandmother's 90th, a wedding, a funeral, etc... Keeping your cool on this might open up the door for something that truly is a big deal - like her choice of dating partners. Having lived through asymmetrical haircuts, the torn jeans look, neon colors, baggy "MC Hammer" pants, "chandelier" earrings, and a good solid year where I totally wanted to dress like Cyndi Lauper, she'll turn out okay - I'm wearing khakis and a grey Fair Isle sweater as I type. Can't get more buttoned-down than that. It's all good. Just wear sun glasses - in the house - next time she puts on the bright red skirt. Tell her you're inspired by the 80's and the Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades song. (Okay, just kidding on that last one.)

I wonder if mentioning it to her this year will open up the idea that every year two dressings are served. My MIL did a very nice thing my first Thanksgiving as "family." She asked me to make several sweet potato pies for the 40-person meal she hosts, even though she's a Martha Stewarty type who would usually make several pies - pumpkin, apple and mincemeat (which I hadn't realized anyone made past medieval times). What I appreciated is that she made room for other traditions/traditional foods, in an attempt to both make me feel comfortable AND in recognition that the growing family (this time through marriage) has several traditions now, not just the one they grew up with. BTW, I love both types of stuffing so I'm glad that I get one kind one year when we do Thanksgiving with my family and the other kind the next year when we do Thanksgiving with my very NORTHERN New England-descended family (my husband's family apparently helped found Connecticut). Besides, I'd gain too many pounds if both were presented as options every Thanksgiving.

Bring it, maybe mentioning it out of courtesy for the host. I wouldn't call it "traditional" though - depends on who's tradition we're talking about:tongue_smilie:. I make a sweet potato pie every Thanksgiving we go to my inlaws because I grew up with it rather than pumpkin (personally I think it tastes way better than pumpkin, but that's a different story). The sweet potato gets eaten just as much as the pumpkin and I married into a family with deep Northern New England roots (not a sweet potato in sight).

Being in the paid workforce is not necessarily a sign that you are using your degree in a productive way. I consider all of the people responsible for crashing the economy as having "thrown away their degree," particularly those who acted out of greed. Whom did your degree serve? There was a really interesting article in the NYT a few weeks ago about how tightly coupled an Ivy League degree is to the idea that one should "cash in" on that degree and work for Wall Street. I think the numbers were something like 60% of those graduates expect to work on Wall Street and about 50% do, contrasted with decades ago when there seemed to be a more balanced set of choices/aspirations from Ivy Leaguers - going into teaching, the sciences, etc... I really think that it would help our society greatly if "using your degree" wasn't so tightly coupled with getting paid because we still at least indirectly link "the most money" with "the most productive," and that think that has been highly problematic and destructive in our country. So I guess I don't much respect the "throwing away your degree" argument. Or at least I think that there are many, many ways to use a degree and just as many ways to "throw it away" (at least some of which is concentrated in one zip code in New York as well as other places).

Two master's degrees. One in Social Work and one in Public Policy, earned concurrently. It took six semesters with no time off for summers and a 17 credit course overload the last semester (crazy, but I did it). I also have a one-year fellowship under my belt that became a one-year terminal degree Master's level program the year AFTER I finished the fellowship. Glad to have both degrees, they have been most valuable in offering me tremendous job flexibility and ability to negotiate employment situations that are difficult to come by. But it isn't everything and there have been trade-offs. There are major gaps in my education (as there are with everyone). I'm very "pointy" in my education - deep expertise in a fairly limited area - and while I do okay for myself on Jeopardy:), I'm not as well-rounded as I'd like and will have to do a lot of learning with my children to help them get the education I'd like for them to have. I'd also give back one of my degrees for an easier fertility ride than I've had - noting the two miracles I have - at least that's how I'm feeling in this particular season in life.

My kids are too young to watch anything other than Nick Jr or PBS, so I'm still figuring out when they get to move up to other types of shows. I think it is comparable to the Cosby Show in terms of content/basic message, though I do think they've made the parents' characters a bit too "love muffiny" now that I think about it. Nothing inappropriate in the context of a committed married couple, but there is occasional flirteaous banter between the husband and wife about "later" - nothing explicit, and one scene where the husband gave the wife a love pat on her rear. I guess it's about the same as Claire and Cliff's flirting if I remember my Cosby shows correctly.

It's a new sitcom on BET featuring Malcolm Jamal Warner (aka Theo from the Cosby Show, but all grown up) and Tracy Ellis Ross (Diana Ross's daughter). They play the parents of three children, two older high schoolers and a 7 year old that is... homeschooled! The older ones are in a brick and mortar high school (maybe they were homeschooled through middle school - unclear so far). It's a cute show (I'm watched 3 episodes), not stellar but not horrible. Apparently, it's getting good reviews. Homeschooling is shown in a positive light, and 2 of the 3 episodes made some direct reference to homeschooling. In one, the daughter receives results back from the NY board of ed that she's passed or exceeded the requirements to move up to 2nd grade and her siblings high five her. In another, the dad - who is the primary homeschooling parent - has given her spelling words to study. When she finishes, she says something like, "If my school is here, why do we call it homework? Shouldn't it just be called work?" It was cute. The family is definitely "Cosby-esque" - positive values, no put downs, showing African American families in a normative light, etc... Makes sense, Malcolm Jamal Warner is the Executive Producer, and I'm sure his years on the Cosby show were a great influence. I'm hearing through my networks (Mocha Moms organization) that the lead writer for the show is a dad in a homeschooling family (though, IRL, the mom must be the homeschooling parent). Just wondering if anyone else has seen it, and what you think?

Meant to post into a new thread

I thought of another one. My mom says "destructions" instead of "instructions." She insists that all instructions for putting something together usually result in somehow breaking it anyway. Instructions get her really "flusterated."

This thread is great - thanks everyone for the chuckles. My kids call the Sears Tower in Chicago (I know it's now supposed to some other name) the "Serious Tower."

The "heathener" thread made me laugh - and that person deserved whatever response they received. I'm wondering what other malapropisms or mistatements you've heard. Very different situation, but one that has my husband and I still chuckling five years later is an acquaintance of ours who was describing another person she had known who had gotten very, very drunk. She said, "He drunk himself to Bolivia." Again, we knew she was trying to come up with the right phrase, but my husband and I couldn't help but have a private chuckle in the car later because Bolivia is a long way and we couldn't imagine just how many drinks that would take.

Then I think she might be most comfortable with "I'm sorry, I must not have heard you correctly." If the goal is to get the person to think, then having them hear their words a second time might start that process.

Well, First I would ask whether she wants to say something (and you've heard her express this sentiment) OR you wish there were something she could say. If she hasn't asked for advice on what to say, then I'd be inclined to assume that she's already handling it as best as she can. As an African American woman, my first thought is, "Well, she's been a person of color all her life (now you didn't say whether she is an immigrant or not, or has lived in this country for a long time - so these experiences may truly be new for her), none of this is new." I have yet to meet an adult person of color who "didn't know what time of day it was" at some level. So I'd be surprised if she hasn't already developed her own strategies or been in conversation with others folks from a similar background about how they have handled it. They may not be my strategies, but I'd be surprised if she hasn't already given it some thought. If she wants to say something and being sarcastic back is not her style (though sometimes it's mine - bigots get no grace from me), then I like the "I beg your pardon" approach or "Interesting." My personal favorite is a teacherly, "That comment reflects poorly upon you and your family (because, actually, it does)," but that might lean too much into the sarcastic.