Poll: How often does your mother call you?

[ma23peas]

Maybe it's the holidays...maybe it's the run of extremely bad luck of late (one of those ridiculously..murphy's laws in a bad way..3 year old dog died before my eyes, robber terrorized our neighborhood for 3 weeks, I caught him and the drama from his life just floored me, bank acct hacked by African travelers, 3 year old fridge is on the blitz and GE will not even make the part until February, our propane went out...it's unending!)

But I have been bothered by the fact my mom is not the Ma Ingalls I so desired and strive to be! :tongue_smilie:

If I were in a bind, she'd be there in a minute...but she just does not 'reach' out...I had roommates in college whose mothers would call them everyday, one hated it, the other loved it...I literally think if I did not call her (I call about once a week) it would be 6 months before she picked up the phone...she's recently retired and just pittles around the house so it's not like she's very busy...she just is not that 'interested' in seeing what's going on in our families (all my siblings)...she expects us to come at the holidays which we do, but rarely if ever visits us at our homes...the only time she has slept in our beds (any siblings homes) is the first week we'd bring home a baby..she was a great help...but never a visit since. We took my parents on a Med cruise 2 years ago..the most time I've spent with her...we all love her...but it's kind of an odd thing expecting that your mom would take an interest or want to call but does not.

 

Just curious about the r'ship of others..I really want to be the mom that can call my kids because I love to hear how their lives are going and share in their experiences/joys...I try to think back to if my grandmother called my own mother growing up and really I can not remember her ever visiting our own family home or really calling my mom much...I just want it to change, I want something different..

[SKL]

My mom calls me maybe once a quarter, and never just to shoot the breeze. I feel that we have a good relationship; we just don't need to talk to each other all the time. Or, maybe I am just really boring. (Yeah, probably that.)

 

My mom has 6 kids and our family is all on good terms. Some of my siblings talk to my mom or hang out at her house literally every day, engaging her in various levels of drama. This probably uses up most of my mom's energy to talk to offspring. Not to mention time (we seem to have only long phone calls in our family). She has stuff she wants to do, and my schedule is pretty tight. Sometimes my mom's calls go to voice mail. She hates that. Come to think of it, that could be why she doesn't call much, LOL. But my siblings who are in constant contact with her fill me in if anything important is going on.

 

Honestly, I don't mind this, since I am not a big fan of phones to begin with.

[myfunnybunch]

Hmm. I voted "Not many calls." My mom *is* lovely to talk to and has many interesting things to say. But she and I have phone-phobia in common. We do enjoy talking to one another on the phone, btw, but picking up the phone to chat is just not a habit either of us has.

 

We do email often, though.

 

Cat

[mommaduck]

Not sure if she knows my number. It's been eight and a half years since I've heard from her. I wish her well; she's missing out on her only grandchildren.

[Liz CA]

I don't think I will be calling my son and daughter-in-law daily. I am more of a hands off mother too - since ds is now an adult.

Sometimes we don't talk for a week or longer, sometimes he e-mails or texts, sometimes he calls or we call him just to see what's going on.

[Sputterduck]

400,000 times a day. More if I ignore her calls.

[Fleur de Lis]

Mom calls at least once a week. I am really glad she does because I'm the type of person to fill my day with other things and not feel like I've got time to make a phone call. I'm really glad she calls and we usually will talk for 1/2 hour or so. She also calls her mom everyday.

[OnTheBrink]

It's almost been 2 years. She's mad that when she gave me the "my way or the highway" spiel, I took the highway.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

You forgot a once-a-week option!

 

I have a standing "date" for my mother to call at a certain time every Friday. We've got a bad history (she's in jail for child abuse) but I have forgiven her and we now have a nice, careful relationship.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I call my elderly parents every Monday morning at 9 am. 90% of the time I talk to my dad. I talk to my mom on occasion but my mom is extremely hard of hearing as in if you talk to her in the dark, she can't hear you. So even with her special phone, it is difficult for her to understand me. My mom values my calls though. She gives me long distance phone cards so that I can call them.:)

[Mergath]

I do most of the calling, but my mom expects to talk to me two or three times a week. If I don't call her, she'll wait a few more days and then call, freaking out. :rolleyes:

[Sputterduck]

I do most of the calling, but my mom expects to talk to me two or three times a week. If I don't call her, she'll wait a few more days and then call, freaking out. :rolleyes:

 

My mom freaks, too. She's been better lately though. Before, if she couldn't get ahold of me for a couple days, she'd sound like she was holding back sobs when I finally talked to her. UGH

 

Because of that, I really really need my space sometimes. It's not nice to be smothered when you are 31! My mom does not understand that. Her own mother didn't call her that much. Sheesh.

[FairyMom]

If we don't see each other every day, she will call me just to say "hi" or text. We've gotten so much closer since my kids were born. She's my best girlfriend. :)

[Rosie_0801]

We hardly ever ring because we don't want to pay long distance phone charges. She pops up on Facebook a few times a week and we'll text occasionally. Usually that's her asking me if we're ok after a thunderstorm. :rolleyes:

 

My grandmother and I will ring each other every few weeks.

 

Rosie

[Jen in PA]

About every other month. We end up chatting in Facebook IM or texting maybe once a month.

[cathmom]

I chose a couple of times a week, which is what she would do, except I'm really too busy this school year, so it's about once a week.

[LinRTX]

I talk to my Mom almost every day. But we didn't always. We used to talk once a week. But she lives in the same town and my dad died a year ago. I call to check on her (and if I don't call at a certain time she worries about me and calls). My dad did everything for her -- she has learned to drive and do some things around the house and her finances but I have to oversee much of it. I also see her at least once a week to take care of something.

 

Linda

[Pretty in Pink]

I call my mom far more than she calls me, probably by a margin of 10 to 1. She likes to talk so I'm not sure why that is.

[Cammie]

At least a couple times a week. We got a special set-up when we moved here so it is now cheaper for her to call us here than when we lived in the US! We chat frequently, she chats with the kids, just catching up.

[jennsmile]

I talk to my mom more than once a week but not daily. We see each other almost weekly. I am pretty spoiled by that. ;) We go to her house more than she comes to mine but she lives in town and I live in the country. She is awesome. She loves spending time with her grandkids. Because we live so close she usually doesn't spend the night but she is there during the day if needed.

 

That said she does have a busy schedule, beauty appts, line dancing, ww, and excerising. Not to mention church stuff and dates with my dad (only took them 30 years to figure it out.) Hopefully your mom doesn't just piddle but has a life. Why not call her and see what she is doing?

[Hikin' Mama]

We talk nearly every day.

[choirfarm]

I probably talk to my mom once a month or so. I actually talk to my mother-in-law a lot more. I talk to her several times a week at least. ( I love them both!!!) My mom forgets to call me on my birthday, though and my mil never forgets. My mom is just busy. They have different priorities. If I take my kids to stay at my mil: she gets them EACH their own kind of Blue Bell Ice Cream that they like, their own sugary cereal ( that I won't buy!) , candy etc She makes them all their favorite meals.

 

My mom: They go out because there is nothing in the house to eat or go to the grocery store with her to buy some juice.

 

Christmas when they were younger: mil- feels bad that she only got them 20 presents my mom- one

 

We often laugh that we wish we had something in the middle of these two extremes!!!

[pooh bear]

It has been 12 and half years since my mom and I last talked.

[G5052]

Always an other, but I suspect that others are in the same situation.

 

Mom is gone, but I had broken off all contact with her over a year before her death because of her mental issues. So no, I don't miss her calls.

[prairiegirl]

My mom calls me once a week (Tuesdays) and I call her once a week (Saturdays.) We have had this routine ever since I moved away (13 years ago.) I find the routine a comfort for me.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:

 

My mom and I talk, long-distance pretty much every weekday.

 

Dh's mom calls on birthdays and Christmas or if someone is hospitalized.

[JessReplanted]

My mom has gone months without calling me. But, this time of year when she's out Christmas shopping, she calls me more often. And, if we have a visit coming up (we live far away) she will get excited about it and call more often.

 

We just skyped with her for the first time on Thanksgiving.

 

 

 

I think that at some point we just have to accept that our mothers are who they are - and know that our kids will have to do the same with us! ;)

[Dustybug]

My mom and I talk on the phone several times a week. There are ebbs and flows in who does the most calling, but it is pretty even. As far as visiting? I've lived in NC for 8 years now and she has been here 3 times: on my wedding day, to help us move to her house once early in our marriage when we were having a hard time, and once for a visit about 2 years ago. She has never been here for the birth of any of our children and in fact didn't meet my DS until he was nearly 2 and my youngest DD until about a month ago when we went to visit her. She is always there for us though and her lack of visiting is really a product of some circumstances going on in her life, but it still makes me sad. I even moved here for college all on my own.

[georgialee]

My situation is a bit different so I didn't vote.

 

The mom that raised me hardly ever calls me. Maybe once every 2 months... and that's if she's not have a depression spell or something else going on. Usually I'm the one that ends up calling because I feel guilty that I haven't talked to her in so long (how messed up is that?). My adoptive mom & dad adopted me as a newborn, adoptive mom left, my dad got re-married when I was 3. So she has raised me since I was very young but never had the true mentality that I was her daughter...more like competition for affection from my dad.

 

I met my birth mother when I was 18. I now live very close to her and if I go 2 or three days without talking to her that's very unusual. I text with her and my sister (whom I also met when I was 18) every day... usually multiple times per day.

 

The situation with my step-mom really bothers me. To me she IS my mom... to her I'm her fair-weather daughter. Things have gotten a lot better over the past 10 years but those scars run deep, unfortunately.

[Guest]

I call my mom more than she calls me, but that is still not much. (See the phone phobia thread...:tongue_smilie:) My mother never initiates anything whatsoever. Years ago, she used to a little bit, ie, she would have Easter dinner or Thanksgiving or Christmas; she would call me about once every couple of months. My parents' home is not suitable or visiting anymore and my parents are physically limited, so now they never have anything at their house. My children have never spent the night over their house - have never even spent the day there.

 

I'm kinda over wishing my parents would be interested, involved parents/grandparents. I've just accepted that I'm not going to have that with them.

 

P.S. My father never, ever calls me. If I ever hear his voice on the phone, my mother will be in the hospital or worse.

[Jenny in Florida]

I haven't spoken to my mother in 18 or 19 years, and that's hunky dory with me.

[amy g.]

I'm with Jenny, no voluntary contact with mom for 14 years which suits me perfectly.

[Tigger]

It fluctuates....my mom probably averages a call a week over the year, but some months it's more often, other months less often - just depends on what's going on in all of our lives. I usually try to call my parents once a week too....so usually we talk twice a week (average) over the year.

[Lady Florida.]

400,000 times a day. More if I ignore her calls.

 

 

This was my mom. She loved to talk on the phone; I never liked talking on the phone. Any thought popped into her head and she picked up the phone to tell me. She drove me crazy. I wish she was still here to drive me crazy with her gazillion calls a day.

[ereks mom]

My mom is one of my dearest friends, and I am one of her dearest friends also. She lives about an hours' drive from me. We talk almost every night around 9:00 PM, usually for about 30-40 minutes, sometimes more, sometimes less. And we also text or talk briefly during the day a few times per week.

[Lady Florida.]

And we also text or talk briefly during the day a few times per week.

 

Three and a half years ago, when my mom died, texting wasn't yet common among adults. I think if she was still alive she would have embraced texting. Then she'd be able to "talk" to me anytime without worrying about interrupting our school time.

[kalanamak]

No other. My mother is gone, but she called about once in her life, when I forgot to call her for three weeks. Otherwise, she let her children call her. She figured we were much busier, and she'd rather we called at a time when we could talk. She could always talk.

[Lady Florida.]

She figured we were much busier, and she'd rather we called at a time when we could talk. She could always talk.

 

MIL does this with her kids. The three sons rarely call without a reason, but I know SIL often calls her just to talk.

[gingersmom]

My mother and I just had a showdown 47 years in the making. :001_smile:

 

So we are not talking very much these days. Suits me just fine.

[amy g.]

I don't think my MIL has ever called us, but I know Dh and her other children call her at least every other day.

[Crissy]

I used to talk to my mom a couple times each day. She passed away last January and I miss those phone calls.

My younger son recently brought home his first PS report card sporting a 4.0, and my older son has started receiving college acceptance letters and scholarship offers. She would have been the first person I called with all this wonderful news, and she would have behaved as my boys' biggest fans.

I am sorry for them that they are missing that.

[BarbecueMom]

Pretty much every day. We saw The Muppets together a couple weeks ago, so I've been texting her every day too, just to say, "Mahna mahna!" She lives close by, and we see each other at least 2-3 times a week.

[Daisy]

My mom has moved on to Facebook and texting. She uses that stuff more than I do. She sends me a text probably once a month and she uses FB everyday. We only talk on the phone a few times a year. I'm not a big phone person.

[Meriwether]

Since I call my mom almost every day, she waits for my calls. She will only call if she has to tell me something right. now. which happens 2 or 3 times a year.

[didadeewiththree]

My mom and I are like best friends....we talk almost every day:)

[ma23peas]

Wow! This is one of the most across the board polls I've seen! I guess it gives me hope that I can change this for my children...I love my mother, but guess she's just not that into phone calls, I will make it a point to communicate more with my kids...I guess homeschooling and seeing them everyday most every hour helps make it more 'natural' to do so! :)

 

:grouphug:s for those who miss hearing that phone ring!

[6packofun]

I wouldn't say my mom and I are super close...when we lived further away and it was long-distance, I would hear from her 1-2 times a month max. NOW, we call each other a few times a week. It's nice, but it's not because she's meddlesome or wanting to know about her grandkids. LOL It's to find out if I saw the segment on Dr. Oz about stress-fighting super-foods. :tongue_smilie:

[DusksAngel]

If I'm not over at her house, she calls me everyday. Even then we text each other throughout the day.

[catz]

I probably talk to my parents every 7-10 days. But I e-mail/skype them regularly too so I feel like we are reasonably in touch. I'm not a huge phone person either. My mom is the only person I'll talk to on the phone for over a few minutes. :001_smile:

[HappyCrazyMama]

I didn't vote because it is typically once a week but not usually more, definitely more than monthly though.:)