When should a child have their own cell phone?

[songsparrow]

At what age did you/will you allow your child to have their own cell phone?

 

What were the reasons that led you to get a cell phone for your child, or in what circumstances have you found it useful for your child to have their own cell phone?

 

:bigear:

[rwjx2khsmj]

We don't have a home phone so when I begin leaving them home alone, I need to have a way to get in touch with them.

Edited October 30, 2011 by rwjx2khsmj

[Ginevra]

I plan to get my dd14 one for Christmas. She is in a private school now and I'm feeling the need. She has been able to call me from volleyball games/practice from friends' phones, but I've felt hampered by not being able to contact her. I have to wait for her to call me.

 

She is not particularly clamoring for one; it's I who feels the need more now.

 

For full disclosure, I should add that she got an iTouch on her 14th birthday, so that met some of her needs for communicating with friends at that point.

[Lovin Learnin]

Both of my boys got cell phones when they graduated middle school. It was then that I figured they would be spending quite a bit of time away from home so I wanted a way to get in touch with them. This is our plan for dd also.

[mrs.m]

When the parents feel like it is necessary. I don't think there is a specific age.

 

We don't have a landline. I often drop DD off at activities (swimming, youth group, etc.) and I want her to be able to call me if she ever needs me. She is 11.

[Unicorn.]

For us it was more of a need thing than an age thing. Ds got one for his B-day this summer, because he was starting high school, and his involvement in extra curricular activities meant he would need to get in touch w/ us at different times to pick him up or whatever. A year prior to that, we got a trac phone for the kids to use on an as needed basis. My single mom friend, w/ no home phone got her kids phones much earlier, so they could call her as soon as they got home from school.

[*********]

Zee has his own cell phone. He got it last year, when he was 7.

 

Generally, I'm not one for letting seven-year-olds have cell phones. Friends who know me IRL are STUNNED that Zee has a phone, lol.

 

But it's only because I had a pre-pay phone for a few years, and then dh and I got a plan with smartphones. Since we already had the phone, we gave it to Zee.

 

I think he's used it twice? :D He liked having it when I took a college class last winter, and my bil watched him once a week for a few hours so I could attend class. He loves his uncle, and was very happy to get to visit him every week. But he liked knowing that if he *wanted to get ahold of me for *any reason, he has his own way of doing that.

 

Of course, bil would've let him use his phone anytime. But he loved the secure feeling of having his own way to contact me. So sweet. :)

 

Seriously, he never uses it. Or I should say, he never uses it to make calls; he does like to play tetris on it. :D Oh, and it's nice to have an extra cellphone around, so that when dss runs the bill up on the one his mom provided him and gets it taken away, :glare:, we have a phone he can carry around when he's at our house, but goes out for a walk/to visit a friend/ etc.

 

All that to say, if we didn't already have an extra phone for him, I have no idea when we'd be getting our younger boys their own phones. Probably somewhere between 14-16.

[Jenny in Florida]

My daughter got her first cell phone when she was nine. We took the plunge because she had started singing with a choir in the downtown area. She was the youngest in a group that included a lot of girls who drove themselves to and from rehearsals, and the director wasn't used to having to think too much about supervising the girls before and after. At some times of year, it was dark by the time rehearsal was over, meaning that if I ran late for any reason (or if rehearsal dismissed early) my cute little girl was left standing on the street of the downtown area in the dark by herself.

 

She got a cheap, pre-paid phone within a couple of weeks of joining the group.

 

At first, by the way, she hated carrying it. She didn't consider it a treat, just an inconvenience. She used it exclusively to communicate with us.

 

My son was a little younger when he got his first phone, but it was for similar reasons. I was doing this ridiculous drive in which I was running the two of them to and from two different choir rehearsals that overlapped by 30 minutes. Again, this was in the downtown area, requiring me to drive back and forth during rush hour. I lived in fear that I'd get stuck in traffic or one rehearsal would let out 10 minutes early, and I'd miss a pick up and leave a kid wondering where I was. He was also taking dance lessons that happened during the same time my daughter was rehearsing for a show, again meaning I was dropping one, driving the other somewhere, dropping the second, going back to get the first, then going to pick up the second.

 

They needed those phones for my peace of mind.

 

Neither used a cell phone to text or call friends or anything like that for at least two or three years after we insisted they start carrying the phones.

[regentrude]

At what age did you/will you allow your child to have their own cell phone?

What were the reasons that led you to get a cell phone for your child, or in what circumstances have you found it useful for your child to have their own cell phone?

 

My kids got cell phones when we spent a year in Europe and they had to get to and from school themselves, the 4th grader walking, the 6th grader using public transportation.

 

We use prepaid cell phones. For my 14 y/o, a cell phone is a necessity because she is on the go a lot and needs to be able to reach us, for instance to arrange pick up from the barn which is ten miles out of town. DS hardly uses his.

Edited October 30, 2011 by regentrude

[Mimm]

My children will probably have a cell phone to share within a few months. They will be able to call friends and text. I will have access to the phone whenever I want and read their texts. My kids are rarely away from me but I want them to feel like they have a way to be in touch with friends without having to borrow mine.

 

I didn't vote in the poll because I don't feel like there is a specific age. The right age is when it works for the family. My kids are nine and ten.

[dsmith]

Ds had a cell phone in second grade. He was only to use it for emergencies. The only reason we gave him one was because of a mix up where I didn't know school was getting out early one day. He stood in the parking lot alone for over an hour waiting for me before someone took him to the office. He couldn't go himself and ask for help. After we took him out of school it was no longer necessary for him to have one. He is 13 now, and asked us for one a few months ago, but he hasn't mentioned it since he got an ipad. If we ever decide to send him back to school we will definitely get him one.

[bettyandbob]

There is no set age. It is when they need it.

 

When they are being dropped at activities without a parent.

 

When they are going places on their own.

 

If you do not have a landline and are leaving dc home alone.

 

If they have not gotten it before high school age they may need it to keep up with their activities without your help.

 

So, it's a safety device for younger ages and as dc get older it's also for age appropriate independence.

[elegantlion]

Ds was 9. He would go play at the neighbors and the husband worked nights, so if we didn't want to call over there and wake him up. Ds saved up and got the phone he wanted. Plus we don't have a landline and that was about the age we'd start to leave him alone briefly.

 

He's saving for an iphone now.

[Thea]

We have two extra phones that the dc take when they go somewhere, but they are not 'theirs'. They share them.

 

They can get their own when they can pay for it.

 

My oldest has an itouch and she uses that at home for social networking and texting.

[Firestar Academy]

I didn't vote because my children don't have one yet. my oldest will be 12 in december and there is nooooo intention of getting one anytime soon. I don't believe in leaving my children unattended at age 11 or 12 for any reason, and,yes, my girls do a lot of afterschool activities. a lot.

 

Personally, I find irresponsible of parents to drop and go when their children are young. I see it at our dance studio when multiple children are left alone. the staff is not their personal babysitter. I sit at the studio for hours, sometimes up to 4 hours a night.

 

I have also taught my children that they can and should ask the adult in charge if they can use their phone (at a friends house or at a scout program). This goes back to my personal belief that all people should be able to ask for what they need whether it be at a store or at a friends house. I see too many adults that can't ask for help.

 

sorry for the tangent.

 

robin

[Cheryl in NM]

15...

 

We want them to have a cell phone when they start driving. Before that it is not necessary as they are always with us or (usually) another adult that has a phone. We got ds his phone already, he'll take driver's ed before the end of the year and won't be allowed (by state law) to drive by himself for another 6 months. Hopefully the newness of the cell phone and driving will wear off enough that he'll pay attention while driving and won't drive and text or be distracted by the phone while driving.

[DarlaS]

I voted 16+, but if I had a younger child who was away from me regularly and might need to reach me, I'd make an exception.

 

ETA: So far only the oldest has one.

[sheryl]

Well, I've decided not to vote b/c I do see different possible answers here based on need.

 

My 12 yo dd will "probably" not get one until she is around 15. Personally I don't think a kid needs one really before then. However, there are situations where a 12 yo may "need" one. If the child is away from parent/s quite a bit then obviously it would come in handy. But, my dd is always with me. When she's not I give her my phone to use or she's at a friends where she uses their landline.

[texasmama]

My oldest dd has always been in private school, and I got her one when she went into 7th grade...so about 13 years old. She has always been incredibly responsible with her phone in every way.

 

My other three don't have cell phones and are not anywhere close to getting them.

[Love HSing]

It's not a set age in our house.

 

We have a family plan but our dc have to pay $30 a month as their cell phone bill. It's an unlimited everything plan so we agreed it was a good deal for them :tongue_smilie:

 

Everyone has a cell phone except dd's 8, 6 & 2. So we got rid of our home phone!

 

I like being able to personally reach them all or send a quick text and not have to rely on them having a different phone available. But there's no way we could afford them all to have a cell phone except when we decided to have them have a "bill" so it was a win-win for everyone (they had been asking for phones for awhile) :)

[Lady Florida.]

I think it's less about age and more about need. Ds got one at 9, but two things happened then. 1) We went to the inauguration and I was afraid he might get separated from us, and 2) We got rid of our landline. We were just starting to leave him home alone, and I wasn't about to leave him home without a phone. If neither of those events occurred, he probably wouldn't have had a phone for a few more years.

[Cindy in FL.]

We have an extra Go Phone that goes with whoever needs it. We'd get another one of those if we needed to based on how many kids we had going separate directions.

[Parrothead]

No magic age. I think it is needed when it is needed. For us it was age 11. We did away with the home phone. Even at $10 a month for dd's phone, we saved a great deal of money letting her have a phone.

[mytwomonkeys]

our daughter will be allowed to have a cell phone at 13. our reasoning is that she will be babysitting then & need to have a phone on her. i also think 13 is a big deal (definitely in her mind), and it will give her some responsibility. we will discuss the type of phone we'll allow when we get closer to that stage.

[cin]

Our daughter got one when she was 7 or so. They went to grandma's house and grandma didn't always hang her cordless phone up correctly. It was an extra $5/mo. which helped with the decision.

[Scarlett]

Both of my boys got cell phones when they graduated middle school. It was then that I figured they would be spending quite a bit of time away from home so I wanted a way to get in touch with them. This is our plan for dd also.

 

What age is this?

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I voted 8 but ds has had some sort of cell phone for a couple of years now....he's an aspie and one of his attachments was to cell phones---he would go NUTZ so hubby broke down and got him one.....it's where he can only call/text certain people so that's not a worry for me.....it's a little more $$ than I'd want to spend but kiddo's happy.....

[Parker Martin]

We'll keep an extra phone around whenever our kids get involved in activities where we aren't present. That will be a floating phone or phones, and there will be no smartphones.

 

They can have their own phones when they can get them for themselves, including paying for their own plans, or when they go off to college, whichever is sooner.

[2squared]

My dc take my phone when they are out & about, so I expect that within a year we'll have another phone for them to use. I expect that it won't be assigned to a specific user but rather used by whichever child needs it on any particular day.

[4wildberrys]

DD got hers at 16 when she started driving, ds at about 14 because the plan was so cheap to add phones. I really like being able to keep in contact with my kids when they are out and about.

[higginszoo]

I don't see it as a specific age thing, either. I only have a Tracfone for myself, and I have another one for my 10, 12 and 13 year olds to share. Usually only one of them is away somewhere that they'd need it, or they're together. If they want their own phones, they will be making the purchase themselves. If they want something other than pay-as-you-go, they'll have to demonstrate enough income to keep up with contract payments.

Edited October 31, 2011 by higginszoo

[BMW]

I didn't read the responses... but, in our home, it's high school. I want them to be able to call me for pick ups. We do have the rule that if we call them and they don't pick up, they obviously don't NEED a cell phone (unless, of course, there is a VERY good reason, which has happened...). We might take it away for disciplinary reasons, too... but, not very often. If they have routine bad attitude or don't get sleep at night, we take it from them at bedtime... but, we haven't had to do that more than a couple times in 4 years.

 

Just our home...

[Splinter]

I don't see it as an issue of age, it's more about maturity and need.

 

My oldest got one for his 9th birthday. It was a gift from his grandparents and I didn't think he really needed it at the time, but he is very responsible and I thought it could be convenient. Over the last few months, I've realized that he actually does need it. He walks to of my younger kids to the bus stop in the mornings, and I have him call me if the bus is late, so I know why he's taking so long. Also, he plays a lot of hockey and just started working the scoreboard for other games, so I like him having a phone there when I can't be there.

[DawnM]

When they need one. No age attached.

 

We do have an extra phone. It was DH's but since it was only $7.50/mo, even when he was given a work cell, we kept the line.

 

My boys share it and only use it to call us when they are away from us.

 

I don't have girls who like to talk on the phone, so I am not sure when/if they will need their own phone for a long time.

 

We do have a home phone (internet based.)

 

Dawn

[LisaKinVA]

We are getting an extra phone... but it won't be HIS. We will loan it to him if I'm dropping him off somewhere and I feel he *should* have a phone to call me for some reason (for example, I'm dropping him off at the movies with his friends, and he's to call me when it's over... hasn't happened yet... but probably will before he can drive).

 

The phone will be basic... no data, no texting. That is the same phone he will have when he needs to drive.

 

Other than that, I will "allow" my son to have his own phone, for his own personal use, when he can pay for it. I'll provide a phone that meets his needs (not necessarily wants) until that time.

[missmoe]

I voted 16 or older because you didn't have an other option! ;)

 

My son got a phone when he was 16 because we felt a need for him to have one at that point.

 

None of my other kids have their own phones yet. We do have two extra cell phones that we give to kids when they are in a situation we feel they may need a phone. Also, we don't have a land line, so one of those phones acts as a home phone when my husband and I are gone.

 

Receiving a cell phone for each child will happen as we see a need for them to have a phone.

[BabyBre]

Ds got a prepaid phone for his 18th birthday and the responsibility to keep it loaded with minutes if he wanted to use it. No running up our minutes that way. Before he graduated high school, his friends all had cell phones, and we were always to know generally who he was with, so there was rarely any problem getting ahold of him.

[IsabelC]

Our eldest is 8 and we're nowhere near even thinking about it. We'll probably leave it as something they can get at their own expense if they wish. Unless they end up doing things / going places where we think it's necessary, in which case I guess we'd get them one.

[Meriwether]

When they need one or can pay for their own - whichever comes first -, they may have a cell phone.

[Running the race]

We have one extra cell phone that my 15yo uses that most. My 13yo has used it a couple of times. My 10yo daughter is the one who always asks for a phone.

 

So no one kid has his own phone here. Each child has an iTouch. They use those all the time.

[katiejane]

My kids get a phone when they are 15.

[TravelingChris]

I think it was around 12, but maybe 11 for my youngest. My two older kids did not have cell phones until later. Why? Because when my oldest was 12, cell phones were much more expensive. THen when he was 14, we moved to Europe. Then he went off to college but we were still in Europe. I think he finally got one around 17 or 18. My middle got one soon after we returned from Europe, so around the time she was 13. Youngest probably got one around 12, since I know I got her one when she was on swim team.

 

None of my kids were ever big users of the phones. My oldest is out of the house and has his own phone and call plan. My middle is at college and has a smart phone and texting. My youngest has a standard phone and can text but she rarely does so because it is time consuming and awkward with the old style phone.

[TravelingChris]

I think Robin LK's answer's is super judgmental and just not realistic. So you think parents should hang around day long daycamps and anyone who sends their child to daycamp or outs a kid on a sports team or any activity at all? I had three kids, widely spaced. ONe year, we had three kids in soccer. MOst of the time, all three games were not at the same time. A few times they were. My dh was coach of the youngest's team. I would drop off my oldest, having cleared it with both the coach and the team parent, and then take my middle to her game. Other times, and this was often in my life, my dh would be working and I would be driving kids and delivering kids here and there. My kids didn't mind, the adults didn't mind, and my kids didn't cause problems. Not all of us are as sheltering as you seem to be.

[FaithManor]

DD was 18. She took mine with her when she needed it prior to that time. When she was entering college, that's when we felt she had a real need of her own phone. We still pay for it, but that will be ending Dec. 1st when she begins taking over some of her expenses since she now has a paramedic job.

 

Faith

[sweetTN]

Our dd (12) is very active in the local theatre, sports, and various extra curricular activities so we have decided she will be getting a phone for Christmas. She is past the age where I feel it necessary to stay with her during her activities, and this will give me time to run errands. She can just give me a call when ready to be picked up.

[2squared]

I think Robin LK's answer's is super judgmental and just not realistic.

 

:iagree: Her ideas would probably work if your family had two kids closely spaced of the same gender and with the same interests and one parent at home.

 

We have five dc, boys and girls. My oldest two already have their afterschool sports scheduled at the same time, and the only choices were either 100% boy sports or 100% girl sports. I also drop my oldest two at religious education every week. I suppose I could sit in the church with my youngest three waiting for them while they are in class, but that would be very over-the-top and unnecessary.

Edited October 31, 2011 by 2squared

[Little Nyssa]

Interestingly, I just had a discussion about this with DD5. She says, 'not until we are teenagers, but skip the first two years' which means, 15. I agree!

[EKS]

We got an "extra" cell phone, with nothing but phone capabilities, when our oldest was about 13 because he had some activities that required him to be able to call us (or us to call him) to figure out pick up times. It isn't really his phone, but he is the only one who uses it.

[LisaKinVA]

I think Robin LK's answer's is super judgmental and just not realistic.

 

I drop my children off on Tuesday for their drama/choir activities. The organizers PREFER it that way (kids' aren't always looking for mom/mommy to fix the teacher... the teachers are the authority). I drop my oldest two off for swim team practice. My younger 3 are in the nursery... I'm working out (but, on the premises). Also, since I was my children's first swim coach... they have this 'need' to come talk to me about what they are doing, that does not go over well. My job is to encourage and support, not coach them (at this point). I get in the way of their coach. That is not good. At scouts... they reach a certain age, and parents are encouraged NOT to stick around (why? Because the space is small... and the parents get to yapping and disturb the meeting :lol:).

 

Children don't reach a "magic age" and are suddenly ready for X or Y. If you haven't given them responsibility and a certain amount of freedom as they grow... they don't. grow.

 

We have to teach our children about trust and responsibility, as well as some of the not-so-nice things that can happen in this world. No, it's not pleasant, but sheltering them too much is not the answer. Having the "talk" with my 12yo son (over a year ago) about child predators was not "fun." But, it was necessary to give him the tools he needs to be aware and protect himself (if necessary). IMO, this is as much a part of growing up as body development.

 

My son can ask for a phone, if need be. But, he is approaching an age that my husband and I will feel it is *appropriate* for him to begin experiencing some things on his own. If he is old enough to be in those situations, I need to make sure he has the tools at hand in those situations. While he *could* walk up to a random stranger in the mall, or at the movie theatre, and ask for a phone, I don't believe I *should* put him in that situation, when it's not warranted. So, we will have the basic phone for situations like that, but it won't be his. Same thing for when he begins to drive. He can get the fully-featured phone on his own dime... and that is part of learning responsibility.

[Laura Corin]

Calvin got his own phone when he started walking from one activity to another on his own in town. This was when he was about twelve. Hobbes roams through the (publicly accessible) woods around our village, but doesn't have a phone. The signal is variable, so I'd rather not have him rely on it.

 

Laura