Miss Peregrine Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "Kyle, your DNA is in my purse." He made a model of DNA out of Wikki Stix today and I had to remind him.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 That's hilarious! I can't think of one right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluezoo5 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Not my quote, but DH's the other day as he was cleaning out the garage: "What do you want to do with these cuneiform tablets?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 On the phone investigating a Health Savings Account: "So, the pub. from PEBB gives 8.4K as the maximum out of pocket, but the IRS's pub 696 says 11.4K is the max. Is that the maximum max or the minimum max?" and "Get off the couch and stop scaring the flicker away from the corn chips." and "Stop running at me and don't you dare shout. Now then, you have just figured out a new reference from Bugs Bunny, right?" (I was right.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 An unfortunate misreading of a line from The Story of the World: "The Etruscans taught the Romans how to dress like Geeks." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) . Edited September 14, 2014 by amana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 If your hair turns grass green, that means you are taking after your mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Please stop acting like a nerd and finish your math. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Nyssa Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Me, all flustered because a dog was jumping up on DD5: "Don't worry honey, he is with his owner, and his owner won't let anybody hurt him." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Well, I helped run a Halloween party, so I said lots of weird things: Dd, get my glowing spider. Would you like an eyeball? Will you volunteer to let the kids wrap you in toilet paper? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "Stop reading and start coloring your Celtic warrior." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "Help me fix this, it's all wonky." Wonky?? When did I pick up the word wonky?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "Will you please put your sodium carbonate somewhere else so I have room to roll out the piecrust?" Some days, the line between kitchen and chemistry lab is blurry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) Not my words... My mom (after I told her a great story about our trip to a vegan marshmallow factory) said: "I kind of think the world would be a better place without marshmallows"... Holy cow... she was serious! :willy_nilly: Edited October 21, 2011 by helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Not my words...My mom (after I told her a great story about our trip to a vegan marshmallow factory) said: "I kind of think the world would be a better place without marshmallows"... Holy cow... she was serious! :willy_nilly: Your mom is the devil. The world world be poorer for a dearth of s'mores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Your mom is the devil. The world world be poorer for a dearth of s'mores. :lol: My husband got up and walked out of the room... I was sitting there wondering how my mom turned into Willy Wonka's dad! I'm going to eat a s'more right now- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felicity Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 We had to create a new house rule today and I actually spoke it out loud for the benefit of my 3yo: "No coloring on the cat." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 We had to create a new house rule today and I actually spoke it out loud for the benefit of my 3yo: "No coloring on the cat." New rules can be hilarious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 We had to create a new house rule today and I actually spoke it out loud for the benefit of my 3yo: "No coloring on the cat." Very nice. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Me, all flustered because a dog was jumping up on DD5:"Don't worry honey, he is with his owner, and his owner won't let anybody hurt him." Priceless! DS5 has been jumped by large dogs 3 times in the last year. Now he thinks the most perfect pet is a scorpion. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obsidian Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 We had to create a new house rule today and I actually spoke it out loud for the benefit of my 3yo: "No coloring on the cat." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Mine came just a few minutes ago - 'No, the rapture is not going to occur at midnight tonight. You still need to get to bed because we are doing school tomorrow. Your assignment will be to find the passages of the Bible that warn against trying to predict the end of the world and to figure out how many times this guy has made some prediction that hasn't come true.' :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneddmanybooks Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Mine came just a few minutes ago - 'No, the rapture is not going to occur at midnight tonight. You still need to get to bed because we are doing school tomorrow. Your assignment will be to find the passages of the Bible that warn against trying to predict the end of the world and to figure out how many times this guy has made some prediction that hasn't come true.' :glare: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emeraldjoy Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "WATCH OUT FOR THAT COW......HOLY insert almost a cussword here but ended up with...CHEESE!!!" This was screamed by me to husband as we were driving home from a nice fall stomp around the mountains and a cow came toward the highway out of nowhere almost wrecking us. We were going about 70. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "If I google naked girls, I'll go to jail." I was showing the girls (age 4/5) some old music on YouTube, then I was googling our names just for fun. They have been on a potty word kick and had just finished their bath, so they thought it would be funny to google "naked girls." Har, har. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "Princess Pop-Up got her come-uppance today!" In reference to a very young, very self-absorbed, very spoiled coworker who feels it's appropriate to "pop up" over the cubicle wall that divides our desks to contribute to conversations she's not a part of nor invited to join. One staff meeting, some specifically worded questions by the other team members, and a glorious performance by her on how she cuts people off and interrupts was very successful in conveying to our manager just what's going on without having to point fingers or name names. It was a good meeting, for most of us. We even had doughnuts! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 (edited) . Edited October 24, 2011 by Momto4kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 :lol:My husband got up and walked out of the room... I was sitting there wondering how my mom turned into Willy Wonka's dad! I'm going to eat a s'more right now- :lol: Love your husband's reaction. "You are very good at branding, sweetie" - told to my 8 y/o daughter. She attended to a Pioneer Camp this week. She was branding a piece of wood, btw. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Yesterday, to DD4: "Is that you crying or your doll?" She was pretending that the doll was crying, but her fake cry is a pretty good imitation of a real one, and I'd just sent her (pouting) out of the room so her sister could practice piano in peace. So I just thought I'd better clarify who was crying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Me, "The garden shop is not going to have dandelion seeds." Ds 7, "But I want to grow more of them in the backyard!" Me, "I know you like dandelions, but we can't plant them." He is still upset that we can't buy dandelion seeds anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 No, you may not have a cup of syrup for snack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiles2share Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 An unfortunate misreading of a line from The Story of the World: "The Etruscans taught the Romans how to dress like Geeks." :w00t: Ok, it must be bad sentence structure or something because I did the exact same thing and my kids won't let me forget it! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Yesterday I said "I don't know. I don't think I"ll ever be bitten by a platypus." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Random Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Put down your school work and go shoot that woodpecker! To my 9 yo ds who is very worried about his first co-op test this afternoon: It's just a test and it doesn't really matter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenaj Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Me, "The garden shop is not going to have dandelion seeds."Ds 7, "But I want to grow more of them in the backyard!" Me, "I know you like dandelions, but we can't plant them." He is still upset that we can't buy dandelion seeds anywhere. :) Oh, but you can somewhere. . . . I remember about 10 years ago receiving a catalog from a natural seed company that sold grass with dandelion seeds mixed in for people who wanted a natural-looking yard. We had just had a neighbor complain about our dandelions and I was contemplating purchasing a bag and leaving it in a conspicuous place on the property! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Not today, but Tuesday, "Stop eating the red blood cells!" We were making blood with karo syrup for plasma, sprinkles for platelets, nuts for white blood cells, and red hot candies for red blood cells. After we were done we had blood on top of ice cream. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Yesterday, on the way to Nana's before I head off to work. DS7 Ping-pong-"Mom, where do my ideas come from? I have such good ideas." (He's not the least bit inflated, is he?:tongue_smilie:) Me-"Seeds. What you see, read, hear and learn are seeds. They go in your brain and grow into ideas." Ping-Pong-" Wow." A moment's reflection. "Well, I've got sprouts about steam engines, and trains and..." A new family saying is born. Any good brain sprouts today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 "My 14-year-old would love to go to your boarding school next year, and we'd be honored if you would accept her." (This is true, but it's a particular school not far from here, and it would be an especially suitable environment for her. Honestly, we're not trying to get rid of her. We don't know if the boarding school thing is really going to happen.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaMa2005 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 To a friend who called and asked us over for the evening: "Sorry we can't come because DH is taking DS to the bank since he has seen him all week!" My friend: :confused::glare::001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 The strangest thing lately has been to dd last night. I told her when I grow up I want to be a tame racing driver. :auto: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Yesterday, on the way to Nana's before I head off to work.DS7 Ping-pong-"Mom, where do my ideas come from? I have such good ideas." (He's not the least bit inflated, is he?:tongue_smilie:) Me-"Seeds. What you see, read, hear and learn are seeds. They go in your brain and grow into ideas." Ping-Pong-" Wow." A moment's reflection. "Well, I've got sprouts about steam engines, and trains and..." A new family saying is born. Any good brain sprouts today? Love that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 "My 14-year-old would love to go to your boarding school next year, and we'd be honored if you would accept her." (This is true, but it's a particular school not far from here, and it would be an especially suitable environment for her. Honestly, we're not trying to get rid of her. We don't know if the boarding school thing is really going to happen.) :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Mine came just a few minutes ago - 'No, the rapture is not going to occur at midnight tonight. You still need to get to bed because we are doing school tomorrow. Your assignment will be to find the passages of the Bible that warn against trying to predict the end of the world and to figure out how many times this guy has made some prediction that hasn't come true.' :glare: Mine was similar. To my juniors "yes if you wake up dead tomorrow you do not have to take the test next week and I will give you all As. However if you are still alive next Thursday you will have to take the test and the mark I give you". :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thessa516 Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 My son's math question: Would you rather have 5 nickels or 4 dimes? My son's written answer: 5 nickels. Me (confused, because he has done very well with this in the past): DS, why did you write down that you would rather have 5 nickels? :confused: DS: I have a lot of dimes, but not very many nickels. I'd like some more nickels. Me: Oh, I see. :lol: ----- I'll have to let Steve Demme know that his Beta students don't necessarily infer a math problem in his question. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 "And this is why we don't stick things up our noses." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 "Remind me when we get home that your tooth is in my wallet." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Me: Are you Chakotay? Said to 6yo dd after I discovered the "tattoo" she'd drawn on her face with her pink marker. (Older brothers are into Voyager right now.) Her response: No, these are tally marks. :confused: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moki4 Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Unresponsive. No pulse. Shockable rhythm? V fib. Shock at 200. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Sleep deprived me to dd16 "I'm going to go take a Shakespeare." I really meant shower. Sigh. I was working on the syllabus for our next Shakespeare class, but was so tired because I was up most of the night with a stomachache that I got the two mixed up. Dd found it funny :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinter Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 "No, the dog does not want a pet kitten. She can have a fish though, if she promises to feed him every day and help me clean the bowl." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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