Live2Ride Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 The last couple of nights have found me by my friends bedside watching over her. Her husbands daughter, L (whom she was like a mother to), and I tended her needs and tried our best to keep her comfortable. We joked, teased each other and remembered funny times. I tried to stay other nights, to allow her husband to sleep, but he didn't really need me until the last couple of nights. I'm so glad I was able to allow him some rest. My lack of sleep the last two nights and days was worth the time I had with her. She is my best friend. She is really the only friend I have that has interests remotely similar to me. We knew the end was not far...she was waiting for her brother to come from deployment in Afghanistan. She passed away early this morning. Her brother got here last night in time to spend a couple of hours with her. She was extremely restless today and on into the evening. She settled a little when her brother arrived, but still restless a good bit. They left after visiting for a couple of hours. Her husbands daughter (known further as L ) and I got her changed, situated up in the bed to be more comfortable, gave her the hourly dose of morphine, and his daughter said "we need Christmas music"! I agreed. My friend LOVED Christmas! She lived and breathed it! We uploaded Pandora music station on my phone and chose a classic Christmas song. From there it just played many different classics. I went to singing and rubbing her hand and L went to rubbing her feet. She was relaxing well and we talked to her. We told her we were going to have a slumber party that evening and that we'd be sleeping right next to her on a mattress. She smiled at L and we went to lay down...sang songs that played, laughed about things she and I did together, and things that L did while she lived there as a kid. We watched her closely and within an hour of her brother leaving she was gone. She was waiting for him and held out long enough to do so. Her husband, his daughter and I were there with her letting her know we loved her and that we were so glad that she would no longer be in pain. I miss my best friend...deeply....I no longer have a riding partner, shopping buddy, Christmas tree getter, horse training mentor, sounding board, gardening expert, weather expert, animal lover, secret keeper, strong woman who helped me in many ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry...:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss. Your story brings tears to my eyes. That family is very blessed to have had you in their lives during their most trying time. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers for your family and hers. I was with both of my grandmothers in their final hours. I know it isn't easy and you will miss your friend greatly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayb842 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 So so sorry:grouphug:!! May God comfort you, your family and her family at this time!!! Jenn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kebo Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm so sorry. You are a wonderful kind of friend to have :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 What a blessing you (and the stepdaughter) were to your friend. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: I am so sorry. You are a wonderful friend and I'm sure she new that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss. She is lucky to have you as a friend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm sorry for your loss but it sounds like she had a beautiful death surrounded by the people she loved. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'm so glad you were given the privlege to spend those last moments with her.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry. Your friend sounds like a wonderful person, sometimes there just are no words. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry for you loss. Your story of her last hours brought tears to my eyes, I have worked in palliative care and the goal for us was a death similar to the one you described. Filled with love and care. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm so very sorry. Thank you for the update; I've been praying for you and your friend and her family. Her last moments were beautiful for her, but I'm sure very heartrending for you and her family. As I watched my mom slip from this world to the next, I had such a sense of peace for her. But, the pain at her loss was excruciating for the ones left behind. It sounds like your friend was a wonderful person, and she was fortunate to have a great friend like you. May God give you peace at this time and strength and joy for the days ahead.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:I'm so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwickimom Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :crying: I am so deeply sorry. How great it is that she left here surrounded by people she loved and that loved her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennay Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm sorry for your loss of such a wonderful friend. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 You have my deepest, deepest sympathies. I hate cancer, too. So very sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so, so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: I am so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm so sorry. It's both painful and precious to be there at the end. As significant a moment as the births of my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndie Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 You have my condolences. :grouphug: But wow. What a firendship you had!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacie Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: So Sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarbourLights Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so very sorry for your loss... and so very happy that you could share those last precious days and moments with your friend. My brother was 22 when he passed from cancer. Those last days, hours, and moments are among my most precious memories. Although the pain was (and still remains) a pain that never leaves my heart, I feel so blessed to have witnessed his final moments. I hope that your heart finds the same peace that your friend surely found by having you near as she left this earth. My most heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and her family.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, lost a good girlfriend to cancer when we were both just 34 years old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: I am so sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am holding back tears here too. My family would think I went off the deep end if I started bawling. My heart aches for you. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: I am so sorry for your loss. What a blessing to be able to spend time with her and for her last hours to be surrounded by people who love her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: I am so, so sorry. :grouphug: You are a wonderful friend, and it sounds like she was a wonderful friend to you, too. Take care of yourself, grief is definitely a process, sometimes a long process. It will get harder as the shock wears off. :grouphug: Again, I am so sorry. Cancer truly does suck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :crying: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry, but glad you got to be there with her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry. Losing someone you love leaves a hole and is hard...:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 CountryGirl, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a true and wonderful friend you have been to your friend and her family! I am praying for you and for your friend's family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 It will not be easy and you will never stop missing her, but you are so blessed to have been there at the end. :grouphug: Bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovelaughs_times_three Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 :grouphug:s and many of them. I am so sad with you today. :crying: What a loss. What an amazing person. What a wonderful friend. I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy that you were able to be there for your friend in her final hours. :grouphug::grouphug: Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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