What do you do when they complain about food?

[Mynyel]

Someone in this house is always complaining about what I fix. Dh complained about the egg salad I made. He also said that ds3 didn't like it and liked the way dh made it better. Well fine you make it.

 

Ds9 complained about a meal I made last week. Dd doesn't complain much about food. If she doesn't like it, she just doesn't eat it.

 

We don't have to money to be picky. You eat what I fix or fix your own. However I take offense when they start complaining. I didn't have to fix it for you at all. You don't have to eat it. If you don't like it don't complain, just don't eat it and fix something yourself.

 

What do you do when your family starts complaining about something you fix?

[Mom-ninja.]

I tell them they are being rude. Then I take the food away, and tell them to fend for themselves.

[Bang!Zoom!]

I tell them they are being rude. Then I take the food away, and tell them to fend for themselves.

 

Now that's cool! Good going!

[Ria]

They don't complain. It's rude, they know it, and we never tolerated it. When they were little, rudeness about a meal would signal the end of the meal. I'm serious. There is no excuse for it and it shows disrespect and a lack of appreciation for the effort involved in trying to feed the family.

 

My dh would NEVER complain about something I made; he cooks, too, and knows that sometimes things just don't turn out as well as planned. If something is not the best, we do our best to eat it and cheerfully agree not to try that particular meal again. The boys know that if something is inedible, they can get something out of the fridge for themselves later.

 

That said, we do have some good laughs over failed recipes and my insistence on whole grains. The thing my kids really tease me about is spelt. I grind my own grain and bought a 50-lb bag of spelt. I use this in place of all-purpose flour much of the time, and the kids tease me about not having normal food (mind you, they are *teasing* - they eat and enjoy the breads, etc). I couldn't resist getting them a little gift when we went to pick them up after 6 weeks in the Canadian wilderness....I bought a bag of Newman's Own Spelt Pretzels (what are the odds of finding that?!) and the boys cracked up when they saw it!

[Rebecca VA]

Chronic complaining would make me angry. I would banish it and punish the offender. I'd also speak to my husband -- in no uncertain terms -- about the poor example he was setting in front of the children.

 

That said, if your husband is speaking privately to you in a reasonable way about the fact that he'd prefer egg salad prepared a certain way, I'd try to accomodate that. Just because I make the food doesn't mean I do everything perfectly. I'd try to please my family if I could.

[simka2]

We do not allow "complaining" from anyone. Now, I did explain to the kids that it is perfectly acceptable to try a few bites and the say something like, "Mom, thanks for making this, but for some reason it doesn't taste right to me. Can I go make a peanut butter sandwich?"

 

I think it is fine for people to be honest the didn't like something, but everyone should be thankful that you made an effort.

 

I try to treat complaining buy teaching greatfullness.

 

:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

Well, I like Simka's way, but in my world, if one thinks one can do a better job, one is welcome to it. Not too many of my people want the job :glare: so they don't say much.

[AK_Mom4]

First - I'm a rotten cook. I can bake like a wizard, but my cooking is terrible. DH does the cooking here.

 

On those very rare occasions where I had to cook, the kids learned early that complaining would get them a lecture on rudeness and an instruction to leave the table without eating. My kids will politely taste the food, and if they don't like it, they don't eat it. They can always be excused to make themselves something more edible. When they were too little for that, DH or I would make something for them.

 

If an adult (including DH) was rude at the table about my cooking, I would excuse myself and go sulk in my room.....and not cook for that person again.

[AvasMom]

I tell them they are being rude. Then I take the food away, and tell them to fend for themselves.

 

:iagree: I have no patience for that kind of thing. Eat it or starve. :glare:

[reign]

I tell them that those comments are rude and hurt peoples feelings. If food is "gross" they just have to say no thanks I'm good. We don't do different meals though so they just have to wait till the next meal or night time snack. I make sure there is always something they will eat.

[QueenCat]

Well, mine know better than to be rude about it nowadays... so if they tell me they don't care for whatever it is, I remind them that they are always free to make a sandwich or heat up soup. Many years ago, I decided I didn't want memories of battles of food, nor was I going to eat what I don't like, unless I absolutely had to, at someone's house for example, to keep from being rude... so there is no "I made it so you will eat it" in this house. It works for some, but not for us.

[cin]

to keep from being rude... so there is no "I made it so you will eat it" in this house. It works for some, but not for us.

 

 

Sensory issues related to food have caused this to the rule in our house. If you don't like it, find something NUTRITIOUS to eat. If you don't like the green beans, that's fine, but you do NOT get candy.

[rlugbill]

I make several different things for dinner, so that if someone doesn't like one item, there are still others they can eat.

 

Then, I say they don't have to eat it but they can't complain about it. No complaining allowed.

 

And I don't cook to order. They can't say I don't like this, cook something else. No, the dinner is done. Eat it or don't eat it. But no complaining.

 

On a related note, young children often don't like certain foods. I keep preparing those foods and eating them in front of the child. If I keep eating it in front of them, eventually, they will want to try it again.

 

It may take 10 or 20 times of eating it in front of them, but young children will usually want to try it. I don't coax or force them to eat something, but just eat it in front of them many times.

 

I don't believe in catering to them all the time, just cooking what they like. I know parents like that and at the potluck at church, out of all the great dishes there, the kids willl only eat one or two foods, usually dessert.

 

And those kids are already obese. All they eat is macaroni and cheese and junk food.

[Daisy]

It doesn't help that your DH is complaining. My husband and I have a deal. If he doesn't care for something I cook, he eats it politely and then asks me privately not to make it again (has happened maybe 2x in all our 16+ years of marriage).

 

The children are not allowed to complain at all. My husband won't tolerate it. If they continue he takes their food away and makes them leave the table. If they apologize they are welcome to return and eat the food. They are not given alternatives.

[gardenmom5]

grown ups who complain are free to fix something for themselves provided they clean up. or I may assign them to fix dinner the next night.

 

children - depends. my 6yo is special needs and will starve himself if he doens't like it. he also doesn't recognize he's hungry and won't eat. (i've now gotten him on so many supplements he is finally eating so he is slowly gaining weight). I will fix something I know he will eat.

[butterflymommy]

We don't allow complaints about food. If they don't like it, they make themselves toast or have some cereal. My kids are ridiculously picky. They only eat a handful of things, so I will only cook things that 5 or more of them eat. So I pretty much cook the same 3 things in sequence day in and day out. I cook separately for DH and for myself.

[Heather in Neverland]

I tell them they are being rude. Then I take the food away, and tell them to fend for themselves.

 

This has never happened but if it did I would do exactly as above.

[Hedgehog]

They don't complain. It's rude, they know it, and we never tolerated it. When they were little, rudeness about a meal would signal the end of the meal. I'm serious. There is no excuse for it and it shows disrespect and a lack of appreciation for the effort involved in trying to feed the family.

 

My dh would NEVER complain about something I made; he cooks, too, and knows that sometimes things just don't turn out as well as planned. If something is not the best, we do our best to eat it and cheerfully agree not to try that particular meal again.....

 

This is us, too.

 

A few meals where the plates were removed before they were done soon taught them all that complaining about what was provided for you was totally unacceptable. I have zero tolerance for rudeness.

 

On the other hand, I will listen if my dc are doing their best (hopefully succeeding) to be polite, whatever they are trying to say.

[4kiddies]

The rule is they must have one forkful/spoonful of everything offered. If they complain they don't like it before they have even tried it then they have to have two forkful/spoonfuls.

 

My kids are not really very picky so they are pretty easy to please and if they don't like the main course(like meat) they are welcome to fill up on the veggies or salad once they have had that one taste.

[Impish]

I tell them they are being rude. Then I take the food away, and tell them to fend for themselves.

:iagree:

[mcconnellboys]

I have finally called a halt and refused to cook for my sons. I've threatened to stop cooking for my husband, as well, but haven't gone that far yet.

 

I have lived all my married life in the shadow of "Mama does everything better; Mama was a wonderful cook," etc. I'm so tired of never, ever doing anything as good as Mama that I could scream!

 

Funny thing is, when my food is handed out to the single men at my husband's work via leftovers, they all scarf it down and gladly. Whenever anyone is passing through my home at dinner time, they give my food rave reviews. I don't think these folks are just trying to be nice because they seem to engineer the means of being here at dinner time over and over again so that they can get fed (I've fed one boy all summer long this year!)

 

It would be so nice to be appreciated for ME for a change and not constantly compared to someone else and told that I don't measure up.... I'm so sick of nothing I ever do being acceptable/right, whatever.... I'm grumpy, sorry to go on so....

[Haiku]

A few meals where the plates were removed before they were done soon taught them all that complaining about what was provided for you was totally unacceptable.

 

This never, never worked for my dd9 or my dd17. I used to take a very hard line on food ... eat it or go hungry. I finally realized that doesn't work with them and was just really negative. Now my kids don't complain because they know that if they don't like something, they can have a something else ... as long as it's healthy and they make it themselves. I tell my kids, "This is what I made. If you don't like it, you're on your own." I also tell them, "This is not a restaurant ... you don't get to place your order" and "This is not Burger King. It's not your way, right away."

 

The only thing my son doesn't like is lentil soup. He just eats something else on lentil soup night.

 

Tara

[Mama Anna]

In our house, the rule is, "You don't have to like it. You just have to eat it. Or not. But it will show up for your next meal and on and on until you do!"

 

Caveats: If it's inedible to adults, they don't have to eat it. Also, if we know beforehand that a dd doesn't like something in particular, we try to only serve her a little of it and have something else in the meal she does like.

 

Calories cost. Money is limited. Be happy with what you have.

 

Note: Complaining is heavily discouraged and, if not stopped after after a warning, will result in being asked to leave the table. Since other food will not be available, you have to be willing to go hungry until the next meal. Happily, we don't have any food allergies or incredibly picky eaters to deal with in this house - I've often been thankful for that because I know it's not to be taken for granted.

 

Mama Anna

[Dustybug]

We do not allow "complaining" from anyone. Now, I did explain to the kids that it is perfectly acceptable to try a few bites and the say something like, "Mom, thanks for making this, but for some reason it doesn't taste right to me. Can I go make a peanut butter sandwich?"

 

I think it is fine for people to be honest the didn't like something, but everyone should be thankful that you made an effort.

 

I try to treat complaining buy teaching greatfullness.

 

:grouphug:

 

We are similar to this.

 

. But it will show up for your next meal and on and on until you do!"

 

Calories cost. Money is limited. Be happy with what you have.

 

 

Mama Anna

 

I have done this as well when they like something, but are just complaining because it wasn't "what they wanted then."

[Joker]

It's just not tolerated but I cannot imagine dh complaining. Younger dd is the most picky and when she says, "It's all right.", that's code for she doesn't like it. :D She's then free to eat more of something else I made or make herself something else.

[AuntieM]

I try to not fix things I know *nobody* likes. But honestly, no matter what I fix, there's probably at least one person who won't like it. Can't please all the people all of the time, kwim?

 

But if DH complains, after I do my best to fix a nice meal for everyone? Hmmm... I guess if it was a new recipe, I'd just not add it to my repertoire. But to just flat out complain? He'd be making the next meal... just the way HE likes it. And then let him enjoy the response from the peanut gallery. ;)

 

I love my dh and try to please him. But if money and the grocery budget are tight, he can be sure I'm not hiding my own portions of steak & lobster somewhere in the larder. So if I'm not complaining, he shouldn't be, either.

Edited August 19, 2011 by AuntieM
Oops! Curse you, tiny phone keypad!

[musicmommy]

We just had this issue come up the other day. It is hard to hear someone complain about something I spent time on. We did talk about why their comments were rude and a better way to handle it in the future. The boys aren't generally very picky so it has to be something kind of out there to get them going. I used to get upset if they didn't want to eat my cooking, but now I will let them have the occasional peanut butter and jelly sandwich as long as they did try the meal.

 

Dh and I have a system down. If I make something new, I ask him how often he would like to see it on the menu. I know if he says, "Weekly," it's something he enjoyed. If he says, "Yearly," it's something he'd pretty much rather not ever eat again. (that's only happened once though and it really was nasty)

[Ewe Mama]

My dc get a lecture on the starving children in Africa. They are not allowed to eat between meals, so they are definitely hungry enough to eat what is set before them. If they choose to not eat, they go to bed hungry. We don't cater to their ever-changing likes and dislikes. With five of them, we would go crazy (and broke). We teach our children that we need to be thankful and grateful for the food we have, when so many people in the world are going hungry.

 

That being said, each child is allowed to help plan one meal for dinner and one meal for lunch each week. I give them the choices available and they pick main course, fruits, and veggies.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

I don't allow complaining or rudeness about the food we provide. Also, everyone is going to eat what I make and there are no other choices because IT IS WHAT IT IS.:)

Edited August 19, 2011 by 1GirlTwinBoys

[Laura Corin]

Complaining at table is rude in this house. I don't let it happen. If something is really distasteful to someone, they can leave it to one side.

 

I'm happy to be approached at another time about future meal planning with special requests. In that case, I'll try to work around any strongly-felt issues.

 

Laura

[DawnM]

I posted a similar thread a few weeks ago. I was so angry, even DH turned up his nose BEFORE TRYING IT!

 

I walked out and said they would have to eat it and clean up because I was DONE with listening to it.

 

It is typically just one son who doesn't like foods I serve, but as soon as he complains, the others chime in.

 

I have made him leave the table before!

 

Dawn

[JulieH]

I almost started an *identical* thread yesterday! I've been so disheartened. My two cry and carry on like its the end of the world if I make something that they *think* they don't like...I say think because they haven't even tried it. A couple of times, I told them there are starving children that would give their right arm for this meal and my 7 year old said "well give the food to them".

 

I made *awesome* stuffed peppers once and while I knew that getting them to eat all of the pepper would be a challenge, I made them eat a little of it. My husband is impossible and sets a horrible example. My oldest daughter and I were being all enthusiastic to get the kids to eat it..making a big deal about how yummy it was, and kindly and politely I said, happily, "eat your peppers daddy!" and he looks at me with a scowl and points to my SEVEN year old "well..she doesn't have to eat it". I didn't know I had a 40 year old child.

 

I'm so sick of it. My 19 year old is awesome and so supportive. She's leaving Tuesday and I just feel doomed. Sigh.

[Harriet Vane]

We have a rule in our home: Don't hurt the cook's feelings.

 

No one is allowed to complain about the food. The only exception to this rule is if the cook specifically asks for input. Even then, the input must be given respectfully (like saying, "I am not as crazy about this because it's very spicy" versus, "This tastes like vomit.").

[AuntieM]

We have a rule in our home: Don't hurt the cook's feelings.

 

No one is allowed to complain about the food. The only exception to this rule is if the cook specifically asks for input. Even then, the input must be given respectfully (like saying, "I am not as crazy about this because it's very spicy" versus, "This tastes like vomit.").

 

Okay, so now I would love to make a little plaque to hang in my kitchen (where it can be seen from the table, kwim), that cleverly states your rule about not hurting the cook's feeling. As in, it's not a good idea. ;)

 

So, what turn of phrase would you like to see on a kitchen plaque?

[Haiku]

So, what turn of phrase would you like to see on a kitchen plaque?

 

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." :D

 

Tara

[Mama Anna]

So, what turn of phrase would you like to see on a kitchen plaque?

 

It's too long, I'm sure, but my dad always something of the sort:

 

"There are two people you never tick off. The cook and your accompanist."

 

:)

 

Mama Anna

[kmp]

We have a rule in our home: Don't hurt the cook's feelings.

 

No one is allowed to complain about the food. The only exception to this rule is if the cook specifically asks for input. Even then, the input must be given respectfully (like saying, "I am not as crazy about this because it's very spicy" versus, "This tastes like vomit.").

 

We are like this too. I also remind them if they were eating at someone else's house they would not even think of complaining or grumbling about the food in front of them and therefore they should not do it in our house.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

My ds will complain about everything. I ignore it, he has to take a bite of everything on the plate, and sit with dd and I until we're done.

 

I've had to encourage dd to tell me if she doesn't like something. We eat a lot of the same foods, so if I make something that they both claim to enjoy, I'll add it to the menu. Twice, dd was just being nice and didn't like something but was eating it anyway.

[DusksAngel]

We have a no complaining rule as well. If you say something is "yucky" then you get another helping, as you obviously need to try it again. Otherwise you need to take one bite (a decent size one, 1 piece of corn doesn't count). If you don't care for it, leave it on your plate and eat more of the other parts of the meal.

[sweetTN]

We have a rule in our house. "He who complains cooks the next meal". No one ever complains. Darn:glare:

[Carrie12345]

Rudeness isn't okay, but I do try to prepare things that most-to-all of the family will like. If someone genuinely doesn't like what is being served, they're welcome to make a sandwich. If they just don't "feel like" having what's being served, they can take a hike!

[Hedgehog]

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." :D

 

Tara

 

Or, "Don't make me angry. Anger never improves my cooking."

[Abigail4476]

1. My husband doesn't complain. If he did, he would cook his own dinner. :glare:

2. He doesn't allow our children to complain, especially at the table. That's rude because it's inconsiderate of the cook who took the time to prepare something for them. If they don't like their dinner, they aren't required to finish it. However, they are required to take at least one bite of anything new that appears on the table.

3. I do try to prepare foods that we all enjoy, but bottom line, it's about nutrition, not about being flavor junkies. And as cin said - you aren't going to skip the green beans and then have candy.

[HRAAB]

My kids don't complain. We don't complain and have never allowed complaining. It's rude and bad manners. However, I don't cook things that I know people particularly dislike or don't agree with them - like liver for me or pickled beets for dh. Everyone is expected to eat a small helping, and if you have nothing nice to say, then don't talk.

 

I really don't know what I'd do if one of the kids did complain... maybe take away their plate and tell them they can eat at the next meal... or if they're older, tell them they can cook for themselves. I'm sort of mean that way. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and I do enjoy it, but I also get very tired of it. Appreciate your food I say.

[SonshineLearner]

I am SO not good about fixing food!! I think this has probably led to people scrounging for their own, and now complaining. My son really likes Mickey D's. He thinks it's the only "real" food around. My one daughter doesn't like potatoes... the other doesn't like rice.... my husband likes MEAT... my son hates all veggies... Top it off with I'm allergic to tons of fruits and veggies when they're raw. I'm trying to serve organic; my family thinks that's crazy. They like prepackaged Mac-n-Cheese (Hey, at least I buy Organic Annie's :)) I MAKE my son eat some lettuce... (once he shows me he can eat something... I try to keep it being eaten) They HATE oatmeal, only want "Sugar Cereal" (even though I don't buy it often...) Food is not a source of pleasure here. It's totally frustrating and makes for a grumpy mom. I finally started trying to cook every night, and make my son eat something every day. (Like... hey... eat the egg white... leave the egg yolk... compromise) I should have cooked from the beginning... every night..... and not listened to complaining :(

[Ginevra]

I shrug.

[twoxcell]

If my kids complain they get a warning, and if they continue than they can go sit on their bed while the rest of us eat.

 

Someone in this house is always complaining about what I fix. Dh complained about the egg salad I made. He also said that ds3 didn't like it and liked the way dh made it better. Well fine you make it.

 

Was this said just to you or in front of your ds? If he is complaining like that in front of the kids I think you guys need to have a private talk about setting a good example at the table.

[Sahamamama]

Haven't read the other responses. I know that in this house, there is a difference between a comment and a complaint. I say this because my husband does quite a bit of the cooking now (I used to do most of it), and of course there are adjustments. We've both had to learn how to graciously end up with food that we both enjoy eating, even if only one person is in the kitchen.

 

Here's an example: Let's say that my husband fixes us some steak. :D He likes his meat highly seasoned and practically raw. :tongue_smilie:He notices that the meat on my plate is still mooing, so he might even get up and put it back under the broiler. But let's say that the seasoning is just not my taste, ya know? I could go on and on about how delicious it all is, but I'd be lying.

 

So, "What kind of seasoning is on here this time?"

 

"Oh, it's the jalapeno-habanero-mesquite-guacamole spice. Like it?" :D

 

"Uh, well, it's not my favorite, but the meat itself is good, to the extent that I can taste it." ;)

 

From what I can tell my husband does not perceive this as a complaint. I'm not sure I could tell if he did see it as such, since he's so focused on his own hunk of meat. LOL. I do know that the next time we had steak, he didn't "over-season" it and it was delicious, truly.

 

And we've been "commenting" on each others' cooking since we were married, so we're used to it. But either one of us would just about have a fit if one of the kids complained/whined, "I don't like this.... wahhhh."

 

They know that is not allowed. Either eat it or leave it, but that is your meal. No comments permitted at this point. When they've learned to graciously either eat or leave what's on their plate without the commentary, then we might open it up a bit more to their personal tastes.

 

But, as my mother used to say, "I'm not running a restaurant here." :glare:

 

Sorry this is so incoherent. I'm on sinus/allergy drugs today... it shows.

[Sahamamama]

If my kids complain they get a warning, and if they continue than they can go sit on their bed while the rest of us eat.

 

 

 

Was this said just to you or in front of your ds? If he is complaining like that in front of the kids I think you guys need to have a private talk about setting a good example at the table.

 

:iagree:

[naturalhomestead]

They don't complain. It's rude, they know it, and we never tolerated it. When they were little, rudeness about a meal would signal the end of the meal. I'm serious. There is no excuse for it and it shows disrespect and a lack of appreciation for the effort involved in trying to feed the family.

 

 

This is the same for our family. A few times of going to bed with out supper the first time they complain about their food, made them realize that we was not acceptable in our house. They eat what is in front of them or they don't eat.