How to break this habit in my family?

[Garga]

My dh, his dad and brother have a very annoying habit, and now my KIDS have picked it up.

 

My dh, fil and bil, like to "misunderstand" what you say if you're not ridiculously clear. For example, dh, the kids and I were driving in the middle of a huge downpour. I wanted to talk about how hard it must have been in the past when there were no cars. I said, "Remember in the olden days when people had to use horses and buggies in weather like this?"

 

DH said, "Nope. I don't 'remember' that. I wasn't alive back then."

 

That's just one example, but my dh, FIL and BIL do this aaaaaall the time. And, frankly, it's obnoxious. You simply can't have a conversation. Every time we get together for a big meal (Easter, Christmas), the conversation is totally stilted because the 3 of them do this non-stop. It's not funny. We don't all laugh at the joke. The conversation just comes to a standstill and there's silence at the table until someone tries to drum up a different topic.

 

And now my two sons have started to do it.

 

I canNOT live like this in my own home--watching every word I speak. The boys and my dh have been doing this sort of thing more and more, until I can't really think of any conversation in the past week that hasn't degenerated into this pettiness.

 

me: "Get out your books."

kids: "You want me to take my books outside? You said, get OUT your books!"

 

me: "You are a male."

kids: "What? I'm mail? I can't fit in the mailbox!"

 

This also includes if you mispronounce a word, or stumble over a word. They have to point it out and derail any conversation you're having.

 

Any suggestions on how to STOP the madness????

[Tap]

For an 8 and 6yo.....I would warn them that this would be the consequence. The first offense each day:

 

I would say, "how clear are these instructions?"

 

"Walk to the 'that' corner. Put your nose in the corner, where the two walls touch. When you get there, stop walking. Stand up straight, with both feet on the floor at all times. MAKE YOUR NOSE TOUCH THE CORNER. Put your hands in your pockets or at your side. Stand there for 10 minutes. If you talk, wiggle, whine or fuss, the 10 minutes will start over."

 

For each additional offense each day, I would add 5 minutes, and they would do it again.

[2cents]

Well, it is only funny ONCE. After that and to the degree you seem to be experiencing, it is rude and bordering on abusive. I think you need to call a family meeting and tell them how this is making you feel. This sort of thing can undermine your confidence and allowing them to continue would be to condone them disrespecting you. I'd nip it in the bud.

[Jean in Newcastle]

:blushing: I'm the one who does this in my family. It is met with a chorus of "Mooooom!" But in my defense I only do it once per conversation!

[Koerarmoca]

ugh that would send me over the edge.. I would blow up. Not the best response for sure but I know me and that would push my buttons. Your dh needs to STOP he is teaching your kids to disrespect you. If he stops and corrects the kids if they do it that should solve the issue. I would also if possible avoid family members that are doing it or politely ask them to stop. My 9 year old is kinda snappy like that sometimes and I correct it right when it happens and she is punished. I can't even think of an example of something she has said.

[clarkacademy]

For an 8 and 6yo.....I would warn them that this would be the consequence. The first offense each day:

 

I would say, "how clear are these instructions?"

 

"Walk to the 'that' corner. Put your nose in the corner, where the two walls touch. When you get there, stop walking. Stand up straight, with both feet on the floor at all times. MAKE YOUR NOSE TOUCH THE CORNER. Put your hands in your pockets or at your side. Stand there for 10 minutes. If you talk, wiggle, whine or fuss, the 10 minutes will start over."

 

For each additional offense each day, I would add 5 minutes, and they would do it again.

 

 

:lol::lol:

[LidiyaDawn]

I don't think it's fair to start handing out punishments for this if your own husband allows (and possibly encourages) the same silliness…. I think maybe you two need to discuss this first.

[Random]

How old are your kids? If they are young, I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, other than to tell them to use better listening and understanding skills.

 

If they are old enough to know better, I'd set up consequences.

 

FWIW, my sons have started this, but they aren't copying anyone. If ds is doing something like tapping his pencil on the table and it's disruptive, I'll say, "Please stop."

 

He'll say, "Stop what? Stop breathing? Stop living? Stop working?"

 

I tell him he's being disrespectful and he knows exactly what I mean.

 

I don't know how to deal with the whole family, though. :glare: Bummer. You may just have to let it go.

[Tap]

For dh:

 

I would respond

 

"That was really clever, the way you pointed out that the sentence could be understood two different ways. You have such a command of the English language."

 

I would respond the exact same phrase, in the same way, EACH and EVERY TIME he did it. Just to illustrate how often it is occurring. Sometimes, adults don't realize that they have a habit, and unless someone makes them aware, they won't learn.

[fairfarmhand]

blank stare with the dh and the kids. Till they just kind of shrivel up inside.

 

(you have to have the gift of "the look" for this to work)

[Audrey]

For an 8 and 6yo.....I would warn them that this would be the consequence. The first offense each day:

 

I would say, "how clear are these instructions?"

 

"Walk to the 'that' corner. Put your nose in the corner, where the two walls touch. When you get there, stop walking. Stand up straight, with both feet on the floor at all times. MAKE YOUR NOSE TOUCH THE CORNER. Put your hands in your pockets or at your side. Stand there for 10 minutes. If you talk, wiggle, whine or fuss, the 10 minutes will start over."

 

For each additional offense each day, I would add 5 minutes, and they would do it again.

 

 

I like this suggestion above.

 

To get your husband to quit doing it, I'd suggest rewording it to something that would get his attention.

[prairiebird]

ARGH. I have this pet peeve too. My DH does this, my FIL does this and my two boys are doing this too now! Nearly same situation! I wish I had some advice- I usually warn them for being too snarky, but it hasn't quit yet.

 

I seriously think they believe they are clever when they make quips like that.

[Meriwether]

For dh:

 

I would respond

 

"That was really clever, the way you pointed out that the sentence could be understood two different ways. You have such a command of the English language."

 

I would respond the exact same phrase, in the same way, EACH and EVERY TIME he did it. Just to illustrate how often it is occurring. Sometimes, adults don't realize that they have a habit, and unless someone makes them aware, they won't learn.

 

 

I think this would work and is nicer than what I do. Dh's family believe you further a conversation by arguing. If I say the sky is really blue today, Dh will say there are white clouds. I now leave the room if a conversation gets too cumbersome.

Edited April 17, 2011 by Meriwether

[dcurry]

For dh:

 

I would respond

 

"That was really clever, the way you pointed out that the sentence could be understood two different ways. You have such a command of the English language."

 

I would respond the exact same phrase, in the same way, EACH and EVERY TIME he did it. Just to illustrate how often it is occurring. Sometimes, adults don't realize that they have a habit, and unless someone makes them aware, they won't learn.

 

:iagree: This'll do it. I bet they quit within a week.

[tex-mex]

Nip the "snarky" gene in the bud -- before it is too late! ;)

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

I'd pull my sons aside privately and let them know that I am appalled at the stupidity that the men of the family are displaying. How embarrassing for them to behave as if they think oafishness is clever.

 

I'd tell them that what their Daddy says and does is his own business, but their education is my business, and further such displays of absolute ignorance on their part will result in extra lessons of the painful kind.

 

Seriously. I wouldn't put up with this from my kids for 5 minutes. No way.

[JessReplanted]

I would hit this head on - starting with a discussion with your husband, and then having a family meeting about it ~ spending time talking about what it means to love and respect each other with our words.

 

And then you could establish a consequence.

[Impish]

"You're not being funny. You're being disrespectful." and I would punish accordingly.

 

I'd definately talk to dh and point out the behaviours cropping up in the kids.

[2squared]

My brother does this. It's beyond annoying.

 

My Aspie does this. It's beyond annoying. I hope he is trainable, but I'm worried about his ultra literal brain.

[UmMusa]

I just love reading all these ideas!

My first thought, though, is to first ascertain the intention of your husband. Is he doing it out of habit and just 'is' like that, or is he trying to push your buttons or trying to find something so say to derail the topic? Or does he think he's being smart and quick? I think knowing where he is coming from would shape my reaction. If he's honestly not trying to be mean, but it's something his family just does, then I'd talk to him privately and tell him how you feel. Then tell him you're not going to let the kids fall into the same thing.

 

There are a few habits my DH has gotten from his mom that i really dislike. Thing is, I am pretty sure that when he says the things he says he doesn't mean it to be hurtful. Me, being sensitive, I take it too personally and get offended. I tell him, and he says that I'm 'difficult' and can't take it easy about anything. Maybe your DH is just doing what he is used to growing up with.

[Murphy101]

Well, it is only funny ONCE. After that and to the degree you seem to be experiencing, it is rude and bordering on abusive. I think you need to call a family meeting and tell them how this is making you feel. This sort of thing can undermine your confidence and allowing them to continue would be to condone them disrespecting you. I'd nip it in the bud.

 

:iagree: I'd tell dh point blank it isn't funny and to quit being such a horse's arse bc he knows good and well it makes me feel stupid, annoyed, disrespected and rudely treated and NO ONE thinks it is funny. I'd say that in private. Because we are a very tell each other every thing and tell it like it is kind of couple.

 

If he continued, which I would be very hurt and surprised at, he'd be risking my being just as "funny" in return.

 

"Gee. You're such a comedic genius it almost makes up for having something intelligent to contribute to the conversation."

 

"Sure you can remember it dear. You had hair back then, remember?"

 

I have a VERY low tolerance for that kind of thing becoming a habit. Once in a while? Mildly annoying. More than that? Intolerable. I'd HATE it. It seems bullying and demeaning to me.

:grouphug:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I'd pull my sons aside privately and let them know that I am appalled at the stupidity that the men of the family are displaying. How embarrassing for them to behave as if they think oafishness is clever.

 

I'd tell them that what their Daddy says and does is his own business, but their education is my business, and further such displays of absolute ignorance on their part will result in extra lessons of the painful kind.

 

Seriously. I wouldn't put up with this from my kids for 5 minutes. No way.

 

:iagree: Agreeing with Dulcimeramy and Martha. It makes them look socially inept and awkward, not smart and cunning, as they may think. AND....like Martha said, it really IS abusive and demeaning. (don't jump all over the word 'abusive'.) It truly is not a kind way to treat another human being,....unless you wish to alienate that person and make them look stupid.

[ByGrace3]

if my dc did that, I would explain in LONG drawn out explanation to CLARIFY what I did mean. I mean LONG. and then at the end look at my watch and say, "that clarification took ____minutes away from my life. I can never get that time back. You now owe me _____ minutes to replace my time." Then give a chore that will take that amount of time to "pay you back". I can't imagine that would happen very many times before they would magically understand what you mean :)

That said, you definitely have to address it with your dh first, and your dh has to address is to your dc. In order to have change it has to happen from the top down. I don't think you addressing it with your dc while dh is still doing it will help at all, and it would probably start a you vs them battle that would not be pleasant. Explain to your dh how it is disrespectful and simply tiresome to have to repeat and explain to your dc all.the.time. when they obviously understand initially. Explain how it makes you feel when he and they do it.

[justamouse]

:blushing: I'm the one who does this in my family. It is met with a chorus of "Mooooom!" But in my defense I only do it once per conversation!

 

Poor Jean, everyone thinks your disrespectful. ;)

 

While I think some of these responses are freaking hilarious and plan on employing some of them, I'd like to point out that this is a type of humor. It's not being disrespectful. They are making a joke--albeit one that makes you want to smack them after the first time.

 

My husband has a particular genetic humor, too, one that drives me batty. He gets it from his father, who employed it on his mother for 40 some odd years. She fell for it every time. I kind of feel sorry for my Dh because it doesn't work for me, and it IS a source of fun and affection for him.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Wow, from these comments, I'm even more embarrassed that I shared that I do this sort of joking around. And that's what it is. All of us in our family use puns and bad jokes. Dh has about 3 tired jokes that he always trots out. But it's fun! We groan and roll our eyes, but no one tries to shame or punish someone for trying to be lighthearted. I have to admit, my kids do go too far, sometimes and it can become smart alecky instead of funny but I rein them in and give them a short lesson in the difference between funny and not.

[ByGrace3]

Wow, from these comments, I'm even more embarrassed that I shared that I do this sort of joking around. And that's what it is. All of us in our family use puns and bad jokes. Dh has about 3 tired jokes that he always trots out. But it's fun! We groan and roll our eyes, but no one tries to shame or punish someone for trying to be lighthearted. I have to admit, my kids do go too far, sometimes and it can become smart alecky instead of funny but I rein them in and give them a short lesson in the difference between funny and not.

 

I think it is all about appropriate humor. If someone is bothered by it (OP) it is a problem. It seems in your home, it is simply humorous. If it began to bother someone or "drain them"/make them feel frustrated, inferior or ignorant, I am sure you would address it. . . :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think it is all about appropriate humor. If someone is bothered by it (OP) it is a problem. It seems in your home, it is simply humorous. If it began to bother someone or "drain them"/make them feel frustrated, inferior or ignorant, I am sure you would address it. . . :)

 

Sure. I do it as a form of teasing. And the people know they are being teased. But even my 9 year old knows that you wouldn't use these kinds of word games/puns etc. with Grandma because Grandma doesn't speak English as her first language. These jokes would only confuse her! So yes, it is about appropriate humor. And perhaps it is also about taking it in the spirit in which it was intended. I say this because sometimes my kids react to being lightly teased - not the mean kind that is really bullying in disguise but the kindly meant kind. And I've taught them that it is just as rude to react badly when someone is trying to be funny and kind.

[Kirch]

Wow, from these comments, I'm even more embarrassed that I shared that I do this sort of joking around. And that's what it is. All of us in our family use puns and bad jokes. Dh has about 3 tired jokes that he always trots out. But it's fun! We groan and roll our eyes, but no one tries to shame or punish someone for trying to be lighthearted. I have to admit, my kids do go too far, sometimes and it can become smart alecky instead of funny but I rein them in and give them a short lesson in the difference between funny and not.

 

It sounds like it's not out of control at your house. But when 3 grown men do it so much that it frequently completely derails all attempts at conversation, I think it has gone beyond what's acceptable. Sounds like you guys have healthy boundaries and social "antennae" (to pick up on the "that's really obnoxious/inappropriate" vibes that people around you send out) that the OP's male relatives don't have.

[Murphy101]

Wow, from these comments, I'm even more embarrassed that I shared that I do this sort of joking around. And that's what it is. All of us in our family use puns and bad jokes. Dh has about 3 tired jokes that he always trots out. But it's fun! We groan and roll our eyes, but no one tries to shame or punish someone for trying to be lighthearted. I have to admit, my kids do go too far, sometimes and it can become smart alecky instead of funny but I rein them in and give them a short lesson in the difference between funny and not.

 

No. I don't think anything bad of you Jean.:)

 

Know why? Because your family is laughing about it. Because your family SHARES in the joke.

 

It isn't funny when they don't laugh.

It isn't funny when it is all the time to the point that you can't have a conversation.

It isn't funny when someone you love says they are annoyed/hurt by it and you continue to do it to them anyways.

 

These men aren't SHARING some cute inside family joke.

These men are purposely being belittling donkeys and I bet they know it, even if they refuse to admit it. I bet money they wouldn't think it funny if the little woman started dishing it right back at them. I bet they don't speak to each other that way or coworkers. I bet if the woman says anything they make fun of her for not having a sense of humor. Bc of course the proper response must be to further make her feel stupid right?

 

I have never gotten that impression from you Jean. I can appreciate sarcasm and dry or sharp wit right there with you. Got my own fair share of it that I bet no one here is surprised to learn about.:D

 

But I don't quite know how to articulate what the OP describes... All I can say is I know EXACTLY how icky it makes a person feel. The man says it and all the other men laugh and the woman stands there feeling stupid and .. Maybe gives a nervous self depreciating laugh and stays silent most of the rest of the evening. But really everyone in the room knows it isn't funny. And there is that uncomfortable vibe in the air. It isn't an endearing family joke. It's just a nifty little quirky public way to humiliate the little women. And what can they say about it that doesn't sound like ill-humored nag whining? Oh... That makes it extra fun.

 

Personally, if I told my dh he was saying anything that made me feel that way, that would the END of that. I'm not a soft and quiet gal, so dh knows if I say he hurt me - it probably cut deep. Dh is the kind of man that would be deeply wounded to know he did that to his wife.

 

I hope the OPs husband is of the oblivious bad childhood habit, but actually loves his wife and so stops kind and not the subtly aggressive donkey jerk kind who blames it on her not having a sense of humor kind.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It isn't funny when they don't laugh.

It isn't funny when it is all the time to the point that you can't have a conversation.

It isn't funny when someone you love says they are annoyed/hurt by it and you continue to do it to them anyways.

 

These men aren't SHARING some cute inside family joke.

These men are purposely being belittling donkeys and I bet they know it, even if they refuse to admit it. I bet money they wouldn't think it funny if the little woman started dishing it right back at them. I bet they don't speak to each other that way or coworkers. I bet if the woman says anything they make fun of her for not having a sense of humor. Bc of course the proper response must be to further make her feel stupid right?

 

 

You are right. None of that is funny and I would get very mad - esp. at my dh because I would expect him of all people to stick up for me and "have my back".

[Denisemomof4]

blank stare with the dh and the kids. Till they just kind of shrivel up inside.

 

(you have to have the gift of "the look" for this to work)

 

:iagree: don't all women inherently have "the look?" I know I do. :blushing:

[Denisemomof4]

Wow, from these comments, I'm even more embarrassed that I shared that I do this sort of joking around. And that's what it is. All of us in our family use puns and bad jokes. Dh has about 3 tired jokes that he always trots out. But it's fun! We groan and roll our eyes, but no one tries to shame or punish someone for trying to be lighthearted. I have to admit, my kids do go too far, sometimes and it can become smart alecky instead of funny but I rein them in and give them a short lesson in the difference between funny and not.

 

I don't think you should be embarrassed at all. It works for your family. The OP is annoyed by it so it doesn't work for her. We're HUGE jokesters in our family; especially me. I can't imagine not being like this.:001_smile: But I would change if it were really bothering someone.

[Joker]

:iagree: don't all women inherently have "the look?" I know I do. :blushing:

 

I didn't know I had "the look" until I saw my younger dd give "the look" to dh. :001_huh: When I asked where that came from dh just laughed. I definitely think all women/girls have one now.

 

To the OP, we do that same thing around here but we all laugh. I would be seriously frustrated if it was all the time though. I think you have to talk to dh first or nothing will really change.

[Tarreymere]

blank stare with the dh and the kids. Till they just kind of shrivel up inside.

 

(you have to have the gift of "the look" for this to work)

 

 

:iagree:This is why I love my bifocals, they really enhance the effect!

[kolamum]

When it happens around here we continue forward regardless. ;)

[DawnM]

I think this would find its way back to them and bite them in the butt. That is just the way I roll.

 

I can't think of a specific example right now, but I might tie it to food to make it stand out. Something like, "Mom, I am hungry." I might respond with, "Oh, you want to take a trip to Hungary?" and I would walk away. I would then make a huge deal about how that will continue to be my response (along with NO FOOD) unless this nonsense stops.

 

I might also make them do a short report on the country of Hungary before getting a snack!

 

If that doesn't work, I would resort to punishments.

 

Dawn

[Heather in Neverland]

That kind of sarcasm from a child to an adult would have consequences in this house. And I would definitely start with a conversation with my dh.

[Mommyfaithe]

For an 8 and 6yo.....I would warn them that this would be the consequence. The first offense each day:

 

I would say, "how clear are these instructions?"

 

"Walk to the 'that' corner. Put your nose in the corner, where the two walls touch. When you get there, stop walking. Stand up straight, with both feet on the floor at all times. MAKE YOUR NOSE TOUCH THE CORNER. Put your hands in your pockets or at your side. Stand there for 10 minutes. If you talk, wiggle, whine or fuss, the 10 minutes will start over."

 

For each additional offense each day, I would add 5 minutes, and they would do it again.

 

Yup....something like this.

 

ETA: Jean...we play with words here all the time, but I think the op's kids are using word play as a weapon to not listen to her. Here, that would have consequences. A quick pun, or other wordplay, met with a smile and laugh would be answered here with another word play...or sarcastic...oh, shut up and do what I said stare or comment. We always play like that even in our extended family, but it is not allowed to be rude or hurtful. Kids do learn that nuance very young.

Edited April 17, 2011 by Mommyfaithe

[snickelfritz]

My older dd has a sarcastic sense of humor. And a class clown sense of humor. And she likes pranks. And.... She just likes to be funny. Thats just her and we haven't tried to completely stop her. Some of our ways to help her learn what is ok, is that it's only a funny joke if EVERYONE involved thinks it's funny. Otherwise, she shouldn't do it. Or she should stop and apologize. And if someone asks her to stop, she should stop immediately. I'm big on a person's right to tell you they don't like it and having my kids respect that. And that too much isn't funny. One April Fools Joke is funny, but we finally did tell dd she could only do one per person. Because, obviously, 200 April Fools jokes are that much funnier.

 

Does your dh know how much it bothers you? Start with him, with a serious talk. If that doesn't work, many before me have suggested some funny sarcastic remarks to get the adults to stop.

 

As for the kids, sit them down and tell them those are daddy jokes. They can do them with him and not with you. Then figure out which type of response will train them best. My kids know potty jokes can be said with daddy:glare:, but mom doesn't appreciate them and will send them away from the table or make them go sit in the bathroom, where potty jokes go.

Edited April 17, 2011 by snickelfritz

[Oak Knoll Mom]

I feel for you. My dad was like that (to a lesser extent). There's a Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle story in Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's Magic called "The Thought-You-Saiders Cure" about kids who deliberately misinterpret others as a joke. Might be worth a shot.

[KellyKelley]

Wow, from these comments, I'm even more embarrassed that I shared that I do this sort of joking around. And that's what it is. All of us in our family use puns and bad jokes. Dh has about 3 tired jokes that he always trots out. But it's fun! We groan and roll our eyes, but no one tries to shame or punish someone for trying to be lighthearted. I have to admit, my kids do go too far, sometimes and it can become smart alecky instead of funny but I rein them in and give them a short lesson in the difference between funny and not.

 

Don't be embarrassed. I think in the OP's situation it is occuring very frequently and several people are doing it. In my family we have all done this on occasion but it isn't a constant thing. I've know my dh for 17 years and he still has one line that gets me every time but he doesn't use it every day so its funny. If it became an issue I would talk to my dh about it and he would work on it and if my kids did something I would first talk about it with them. If that did not work they would get push-ups because that is my punishment for disrespect. I usually start them out with 15 for the 8yo because she is a competitive gymnast and I know that she can do 50+ without much of a problem so 15 is a warning. The 5.5yo is also a gymnast but she doesn't compete yet so she starts with 5 and for both girls if the issue continues we add on in incriments of 5. They do this in both gynmastics and TKD so I tired it one day and I was amazed at the difference in behavior.

[stripe]

I went through a phase like this.

 

Frankly I'm with Jean -- I found the examples given in the OP to be hilarious. They may be irritating, but they're funny! Really. It's great to see people enjoying wordplay. Isn't this the fun side of homophones??

 

I think I would just join them. Look for ways to do it to them, ALL DAY LONG. Don't find it irritating; make it a joke. Read Amelia Bedelia! Is there anything else like it?

[Pretty in Pink]

I'd tell the boys to knock it off during school hours because it is distracting and keeps you guys from getting your school work done. I might offer a reward for each day that they go without doing it during school hours. I'd let them do it beyond that.

[SnowWhite]

I *would* try to be a good sport about it. It must not be TOO obnoxious, because I presume it was already in evidence when you and your husband were dating.

 

I do however believe it is possible to establish boundaries for it. NO sarcastic jokes during school time, NO sarcastic answers when Mom is correcting you for behavior or giving instructions for chores, etc. Reserve it for the playful conversational times in your life. And if it's getting on your nerves they have to knock it off. (ie a one warning rule).

 

I would have a heart to heart with dh about it. ie, "I just really don't have the patience for the same amount of verbal banter I used to. I'd appreciate if you could tone it down a little. It would just make my life a lot more pleasant." I *don't* think it's reasonable to believe one person can change the family culture. I also think it would be unfair to forbid the boys to participate in the word play.

 

I think the posters who think it's ONLY directed toward the women in the family are likely mistaken. In my experience (did you suspect I grew up in a pun-friendly house? ;) ) boys and men are even more merciless with each other. It's a form of mental tussling which takes the place of poking each other in the arm, smacking each other on the behind, and tackling each other and rolling on the ground. Intelligent sparring, if you will.

[Alicia64]

I don't think it's fair to start handing out punishments for this if your own husband allows (and possibly encourages) the same silliness…. I think maybe you two need to discuss this first.

 

Yes, but after a frank discussion w/ dh I would definitely make it clear to your kids that a) it's odd behavior and b) won't be tolerated.

 

I would have no idea what you're even talking about except I've met a friend -- a fellow homeschool mom -- that does this too. And it's amazingly annoying. More than that: it's downright weird.

 

I haven't given it a lot of thought, but it almost seems to me to be a way to dominate/control the conversation. In other words they're saying, "I'm not really going to interact w/ you, I'm going to completely ignore what you're saying and make you look semi-silly."

 

And somehow they don't get how silly they look.

 

One last thought: you need to stop this in your kids. It will hurt future their future relationships. I don't spend as much time w/ the mom I mentioned because of this odd behavior.

 

Alley

[Alicia64]

I went through a phase like this.

 

Frankly I'm with Jean -- I found the examples given in the OP to be hilarious. They may be irritating, but they're funny! Really. It's great to see people enjoying wordplay. Isn't this the fun side of homophones??

 

I think I would just join them. Look for ways to do it to them, ALL DAY LONG. Don't find it irritating; make it a joke. Read Amelia Bedelia! Is there anything else like it?

 

I love to laugh. I make a point of having a great laugh every day and if one doesn't present itself I think of the time almost 30 years ago when a seagull pooped -- from far above -- onto the very center of my poor mom's head. It was hard for her, but the rest of couldn't stop rolling!!

 

Anyway, no, most people think these "word plays" are obnoxious and silly -- not funny at all.

 

Alley

[Murphy101]

I love to laugh. I make a point of having a great laugh every day and if one doesn't present itself I think of the time almost 30 years ago when a seagull pooped -- from far above -- onto the very center of my poor mom's head. It was hard for her, but the rest of couldn't stop rolling!!

 

Anyway, no, most people think these "word plays" are obnoxious and silly -- not funny at all.

 

Alley

 

:iagree: Occassionally, especially in family, it can be just a bad groaner joke.

 

Outside of that? Or constantly? It's just obnoxious. To say the least.

[Unicorn.]

:blushing: I'm the one who does this in my family. It is met with a chorus of "Mooooom!" But in my defense I only do it once per conversation!

 

Wow, from these comments, I'm even more embarrassed that I shared that I do this sort of joking around. And that's what it is. All of us in our family use puns and bad jokes. Dh has about 3 tired jokes that he always trots out. But it's fun! We groan and roll our eyes, but no one tries to shame or punish someone for trying to be lighthearted. I have to admit, my kids do go too far, sometimes and it can become smart alecky instead of funny but I rein them in and give them a short lesson in the difference between funny and not.

 

Don't be embarrassed. We do that here occasionally too. Me included. Like you said, Jean, it's fine if it's only once. When it is said at the wrong time, or abused, I respond (to the dc AND dh) with things like, "Ok, that's enough", or "Not funny", or "Now is not the time" followed by "Now go take care of XYZ". Usually if dh starts it, I get an apology, and then he has to get the dc back on track.

Garga, the dh can be taught! It took mine a while, but he really tries not to do it now unless he knows I'm in a joking mood. :grouphug:

[kchara]

My DH picked up some less than endearing habits after we got married. Or maybe I didn't notice them until about 5 years into our marriage. Either way, I finally had to put a stop to it. In no uncertain terms. It was making me feel stupid, self conscious, and generally depressed. DH didn't realize how he was making me feel, and stopped immediately. It could be your DH doesn't realize how this little habit sounds, especially if it's used constantly. I'd have a talk with him, and have him talk to the kids. After that, there would be severe consequences for each infraction. That's disrespectful, especially coming from children to their mother.

[5KidzRUs]

It is (can be) like that (sometimes) on this (and other) boards too. Heaven (or other place) forbid (or not) that we say (or type) a generalization (or embellishment) or not be (or not) perfectly (or imperfectly) clear on exactly what we meant (or didn't mean). Whatever you do (or do not do) make sure to add (or omit) disqualifies (or edifiers) so that you are not misunderstood (or flamed) for something that everyone (or just those reading your post or listening to you) knew (or understood) that you meant (or did not mean).

 

I clearly (as mud) did not mean (or be mean) to upset anyone (or two or more) by being so concise (or redundant) ... OK, I will stop LOL! :001_smile: