joannqn Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I used to make everyone's plate. Sometimes I would bring them out to the table, sometimes the kids would get them, sometimes everyone got there own. Now, I serve almost every meal at the table, meaning I put all of the food out and everyone dishes their own. I don't use serving dishes like the pp's mom; I just put the pots and pans on trivets on the table. The youngest two get help dishing their plates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 well my answer would be yes and no, he doesn't expect me to but I do fix it when he is really tired or comes in late. My mother and mother in law always fix plates for their husbands. I remember my dad chewing me out for not fixing my dh's plate one time when we were visiting them around 10 years ago. My dh fixes my plate for me also it just depends who is the most tired, busy, or who is just being nice any given day:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 If we eat at the table the food is in serving dishes. The serving dishes are passed from person to person with each getting what they want on their plate. If we are not eating at the table I will plate food at the stove. Each person gets handed a plate. There is no special service for dh just because he is dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma2Many66 Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I do, I fix everyone's plate, it is just something I have always done for all the members of my family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I should also mention that my hubby does the dishes. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 well my answer would be yes and no, he doesn't expect me to but I do fix it when he is really tired or comes in late. My mother and mother in law always fix plates for their husbands. I remember my dad chewing me out for not fixing my dh's plate one time when we were visiting them around 10 years ago. My dh fixes my plate for me also it just depends who is the most tired, busy, or who is just being nice any given day:D My mom is the one that gets on me for not catering to my dh. I do fix plates while he does drinks and kids. My mom has become upset with me because I don't jump up when dh is done with dinner to get his dessert.:tongue_smilie: My dh does not want me to stop eating to get his dessert but mom just doesn't get it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 My mom is the one that gets on me for not catering to my dh. I do fix plates while he does drinks and kids. My mom has become upset with me because I don't jump up when dh is done with dinner to get his dessert.:tongue_smilie: My dh does not want me to stop eating to get his dessert but mom just doesn't get it! You make dessert? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 This thread is so interesting to me. I guess I just never stopped to think that people would serve dinner differently than we do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in AUS Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Mostly i serve everyones plates on the counter and then take them to the table, if DH is home he will happily take the kids plates to the table along with his own. If we are having a 'feast' then i would set everything on the table for everyone to serve themselves, we don't do that often, Birthdays, special occasions etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Everyone serves themselves. Other than a toddler, I can't imagine someone else deciding how much food I get/have to eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 You make dessert? :lol: Rarely! She will get weird when we have family dinners and SHE has made dessert and I don't jump when dh is ready. It's just crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 (edited) This thread is so interesting to me. I guess I just never stopped to think that people would serve dinner differently than we do! I don't put serving bowls on the table except at special meals. That way I don't have to wash the bowls and the pots and pans after dinner. (Even though the kids are supposed to be doing the dishes, they haven't been, so I've been feeding my Kindle with their allowances. Getting paid for housework isn't a bad gig.) Edited September 22, 2010 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 (edited) My mom is the one that gets on me for not catering to my dh. My MIL used to get on me for not going in to ask DH if he wanted a snack or a drink, while he was watching a ballgame and I was either fixing Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. I told her to stuff it -- not really, but I did tell her that I was busy and his legs and arms weren't broken, he could get himself a snack or drink. My DH is definitely stuck in the 50s. I told the boys not to get stuck on that idea because men today (hopefully) do not marry their mothers, hoping to continue the tradition of being catered to like a child. The women want a man, not an extra child. Now, DH is like he is, and there is no changing him, and I'm not complaining (much). He is 61, though, and I hope today's young men (anyone under 45) are more independent of their wives and can run a household as well as any woman. That's my aim for my boys. I do serve dessert because if I don't 2 boxes of brownie mix (cheaper than making it from scratch) or whatever I serve will disappear in about 30 minutes between DH and the boys. I like desserts I make to last a couple of days. Edited September 22, 2010 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I don't put serving bowls on the table except at special meals. That way I don't have to wash the bowls and the pots and pans after dinner. I noticed that lots of people do as you do. I guess I put serving bowls on the table because that is what my mom did at home. It would feel somehow "wrong" for me not to - not because I cognitively think that there is anything wrong with it - but because of how I was taught to do it from when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsmith Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I don't serve dh, but MIL serves FIL if she is home while we are eating. We generally eat family style and pass the serving dishes around. If they are too hot to pass, whoever is sitting closest to that dish will serve to everyone else. Dh would not like me to serve him. He likes one thing on his plate at a time - drives me nuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I noticed that lots of people do as you do. I guess I put serving bowls on the table because that is what my mom did at home. It would feel somehow "wrong" for me not to - not because I cognitively think that there is anything wrong with it - but because of how I was taught to do it from when I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I grew up in a home with bowls on the table as well but our table is too small. We had a large home and a big table growing up. It is just dh, I and two dds and our table could not comfortably fit all of us, our plates, cups and bowls of food. It's just something we're used to now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I grew up in a home with bowls on the table as well but our table is too small. We had a large home and a big table growing up. It is just dh, I and two dds and our table could not comfortably fit all of us, our plates, cups and bowls of food. It's just something we're used to now. Of course tonight, since dh was not home for dinner, we got a pizza and everyone ate in front of the t.v. while watching Ironside.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I should also mention that my hubby does the dishes. :) Hmm. My husband got home at 11 tonight and the first thing he did was wash the big pot and saucepan I left on the stove for him. I'm starting to feel really lazy after the thread about how many hours our husband's work...oh well...in my defense dh tells me to leave pots and pans for him because he knows I'm busy putting kids to bed when he's not here. Still...this thread and the other one is making me appreciate him more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Haven't read other respnses. I didn't vote because you did not include "sometimes." If I cook, I usually dish up the food. If dh cooks, which is quite often, he dishes out the food. In our house, whoever is at the stove when "Dinner" is yelled serves. Now, I do try to make a point of picking up his dish when we are done, but he is more than capable of bringing his plate to the sink. I get the whole "serving the husband" thing, but for me, many instances of "serving" requires me to look at my husband as incompetent and incapable of taking care of himself. I have never met a single man who enjoys being looked at as incapable or incompetent. But, this is just in our house. Others may have a different opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4besitos Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I fix my husbands plate, get him seconds, fix his dessert, if there are leftovers I will pack it up for his lunch. I usually serve the plates up at the stove, children help getting their plates to the table. It is a small thing to do for him; he works hard to bring home the money for our single income household. And yes, what Moms do at home is work and homeschooling makes even more work....but I don't get a paycheck for that. And I like staying home with our children. :001_smile: Does anyone else read the J.D. Robb detective books??? It's set in the future and there is a "stay-home Mom option" and the government pays salaries to the Moms. That would be nice!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 This thread is so interesting to me. I guess I just never stopped to think that people would serve dinner differently than we do! Even when I've eaten at others' homes, they've done it basically the way I have (all the food on the table/floor for people to serve themselves), and that includes lots of homes in several different countries. This has been very interesting to read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I would vote sometimes. I usually do not put bowls out on the table mainly because I don't want any more to wash. I may try to get back to it but more often than not, we eat in the living room because our dining room has been overtaken by our school. I have no problem doing so and my dh doesn't expect it but appreciates it when I take an extra step to do something for him. I grew up in an extended family where the women did not eat until the men and children were all served and were usually hopping through every meal to wait on the men and children (mainly male children). We don't go to that extreme but it definitely feels more normal for me to serve up his food and plate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dripdripsplat Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?! :scared: 61% of you don't serve your husband's dinner??? I am in total shock... Why would you not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dripdripsplat Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I fix my husbands plate, get him seconds, fix his dessert, if there are leftovers I will pack it up for his lunch. I usually serve the plates up at the stove, children help getting their plates to the table. It is a small thing to do for him; he works hard to bring home the money for our single income household. And yes, what Moms do at home is work and homeschooling makes even more work....but I don't get a paycheck for that. And I like staying home with our children. :001_smile: Yes!!! I'm not the only one!:hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaissezFaire Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Sometimes I do only because I am trying to make sure everyone gets their fair share. It's sometimes hard to portion out for 8 when everyone serves themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I told my dh we aren't in the 1950's anymore, women do longer bow down to there husbands. :lol: Well, I am a child of the 50's and this was how it was REALLY done: With bowls and platter in front of him, Papa serves all of us, starting with the youngest, and working up, while Mama served the salad. When all were served, and she lifted her fork, we, Papa included, were allowed to lift ours. Lunch and brekkie was more plates in the center, "please, pass the X" affairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?! :scared: 61% of you don't serve your husband's dinner??? I am in total shock... Why would you not? I don't slop enough butter on everything.:) Honestly, he likes what he likes, and I cannot drive myself to salt, soysauce, and marg up my cooking into a dish I no longer recognize. I can't even watch. Plus, that fancy mustache everyone in the outside world gets to see is un-waxed and "in it all" at home, and I can't stand to see my cooking looking like raindrops working down a windowpane, either. I even avert my son's eyes. Aren't you sorry you asked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?! :scared: 61% of you don't serve your husband's dinner??? I am in total shock... Why would you not? Dh would not want me to serve his dinner. He knows what he wants, thank you very much;). He's diabetic, so depending on his bloodsugar level then he might eat more or less carbs or even more or less food in general. Plus, sometimes he feels like eating more of one thing than another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I said no because there wasn't a 'sometimes' option and he doesn't expect me to do it. I do sometimes make and serve his plate, but it is usually because he is in the middle of something and I am trying to lure him to the table. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 My dh seems to think, with the exception of me, that all wives fix their dh's plates and then serve it to them. Is this true in your household? I told my dh we aren't in the 1950's anymore, women do longer bow down to there husbands. :lol: My mom does this for my dad. My dad claims to be clueless as to what goes with what (sauces, gravies, etc.). She routinely puts food from pots/pans into pretty serving vessels for the table, too. I don't see this as her "bowing down" to him, she does it out of kindness and truly doesn't mind. My dad, if left to his own devices, would eat only MRE's, Ramen noodles, and lots of red meat & fish. He was raised in a home where his mom served up the food and so was my mom, so it feels normal to them. When she's not around, he makes himself some Top Ramen with cubed moose meat. I put pots and pans directly onto potholders on the table; I don't have time for extra dishes. Adults and teens serve themselves because other people don't have a gauge for how hungry or not someone else may be. I wouldn't want somebody serving up my plate. I don't see this as "not serving/honoring/etc." my husband. Those sentiments run much deeper than who puts what on which plate. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Are you kidding?!?!?!?!?! :scared: 61% of you don't serve your husband's dinner??? I am in total shock... Why would you not? Why would I? He is a big boy and knows what he wants. He may not be in the mood for broccoli, or he may want a plate full. He can decide and make his plate to match his wants. It only takes him a minute to dish a plate, so its isn't like I am saving him a chore to do it for him. There are times that I do dish it, but there is a reason, and not an obligation, at play. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 My husband introduced a system that his family (German)used. I have no idea if the system is German, or just from his family. All food is put on serving dishes in the middle of the table. the serving dishes are passer clockwise around the table, with each person taking their portion. I sit at one end of the table and my Dh at the other. We make sure that the kids sitting nearest to us have a correct portion of food. Nobody serves anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iona Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 no, not in the sense of the op's question. if i'm serving from the stove it can happen. i prefer to serve myself because i know how much of each thing i'd like. dh is probably not as anal, so it probably wouldn't bother him. (he always repeats the lines from mary poppins when the husband gets home and his drink and paper are ready, he pats the children on the head and sends them off to bed, there isn't mention of dinner...but i think the cook or maid would probably serve. he thinks it is funny, but not a reality) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Dh is all grown up and I'm not his Mommy, so no, he plates his own food! However, if I'm dishing up for everyone and then putting the food out for them to take, I'll do that for him too, just as he sometimes dishes up all the food. We had friends around this weekend and had a "self service" lunch with sandwich makings laid out on the table, and I was very surprised when she prepared everything for her teen daughter and husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chanda7 Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 The serving dishes rarely leave the stove, so I plate for everyone. If the food was on the table, I would not plate for DH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 The serving dishes rarely leave the stove, so I plate for everyone. If the food was on the table, I would not plate for DH. This. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Sure I do. Sometimes I ask him to get his own if I am busy and sometimes he will get my plate. He cooks often as well. I don't consider it subservient - just a nice thing to do for someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gpsings Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Yep. It's just easier to do all the plates at the same time. He usually gets the drinks and rounds up the kids. It's not subservience, it's just convenient. Also, I like to make sure there is enough of everything left to pack his lunch the next day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Dh prefers to fix his own plate - afterall, he is an adult!:D He knows what he wants and doesn't want, and how much of each. We generally pass the serving bowls around and each takes his own. The exceptions were/are: 1) when ds was small, either dh or I would fix his plate; and, 2) if I have a very hot (straight from the oven casserole, e.g., or perhaps am serving something straight from the crock pot, e.g.) then everyone passes his plate to me and I serve everyone the quantity they specify, simply because the serving bowls are way too hot (cumbersome as well with the slow cooker) to pass around. Conversely, if a platter of meat, e.g., which I generally set near to dh's place, is too hot for handling, he will cut and serve the requested portions. So I voted no.:001_smile: :iagree: Exactly. I also serve our main dish items when I have a certain amount planned for the next day's lunch :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 (edited) I realized that I have no system. The question also assumes that the wife alone has cooked the meal which is not always the case for me. I also think this question is interesting culturally because it assumes a style of eating that not everyone has. In many traditional cultures, food is put on a big central plate; in others, all the dishes sit on the table. I have eaten with people where mealtime is generally sex-segregated and small spoonfuls of foods are put on the plate and eaten, and one person is in charge of filling the others' plate by carefully observing their eating patterns. That I find to be interesting. I feel very well attended to but completely overwhelmed. Edited September 22, 2010 by stripe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 Actually, my husband is more likely to be the one to serve the plates, especially since he's usually cutting whatever meat or whatever we're having. He's also a better cook than I am though and does the cooking on his days off, with me just helping with the sides and table setting and stuff like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 He prefers to fix his own plate. I don't put the right proportions of food on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJCMom Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 For us it depends on the night. Sometimes I'll fix everyone's plate and bring it to them. Sometimes I'll fix his plate while he fixes the kids' plates. Sometimes he'll just fix his own, especially if it's something like tacos where he wants the right proportion of goodies. But I would say that about half the time I fix his plate and serve it to him. It's such a small thing that pays such big dividends. His love language is acts of service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy Inman Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I generally serve all the plates while dh is making drinks and the kids are getting washed up. He makes my drink, I make his plate. It really has nothing to do with bowing down to him, our relationship is nothing like that. :iagree: And really there are only 3 of us... i dish out the food while they run around getting napkins, silverware, drinks. I put out the food for all 3 of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 How on earth do you know how much and what they want on their plates?:lol: I think that would drive dh crazy!!! He is far too picky about what he eats for me to dish it out for him. I might forget one of his no eat 'ems. It might touch his other food. Then, he wouldn't be able to eat at all. Besides, he usually is not home by dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I voted no, because I generally do not dish up his plate, but occasionally I do. Dh will help me set the table sometimes, and gets drinks for everybody. It's more that everybody works together to get the meal going, and not mom serving everybody. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I answered no because there was no sometimes option. Sometimes I serve, sometime he does, sometimes we help ourselves. If either of us makes a special meal, then we serve. On holidays, the food is served family style. Otherwise, it is what we call "Jump up". It is the same at my dd's house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I generally serve all the plates while dh is making drinks and the kids are getting washed up. He makes my drink, I make his plate. It really has nothing to do with bowing down to him, our relationship is nothing like that. :iagree:While I am finishing dinner and dishing up plates in the kitchen, my husband is setting the table, making the kids wash their hands, and fixing everyone's drink. Any part of the meal that gets served at the table (biscuits, salad, sauces) he serves himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomOfOneFunOne Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 I shop for it, bring it home, put it away, cook it, dish it up at the stove/counter, bring it to the table and lovingly present it to husband and daughter. But I draw the line there. They clean up the kitchen afterward. I like it that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted September 22, 2010 Share Posted September 22, 2010 If hubby was ill and in bed I'd bring him food - he'd do the same for me. But adults can certainly fix their own plates of food under normal circumstances!!!! I am his wife, not his mommy. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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