A question for church-goers (church attire question)

[Luanne]

I'm just curious about something. How do the people at your church dress when they attend church? Something that was said when we went to lunch with my mother, sister, and a friend that has me thinking about this.

[mazakaal]

We're missionaries, so we travel a lot and visit a lot of churches. It really, really depends on the church. At our last church, the one that we started, people dressed very casually, wearing exactly what they would wear on any other day, which for most people was jeans and a t-shirt/sweatshirt/sweater etc. At our last church in the US, which was in a more cosmopolitan place, people usually dressed slightly nicer than they would on a normal day. As a sahm I would normally wear shorts and a t-shirt. At church I would wear nice trousers or a skirt with a nicer top.

 

I'm curious what the conversation was with your mom, sister, and friend.

[asta]

When I was a kid, my mom always said "God doesn't care what you wear, he already knows what you look like - but you could put some effort into it, kid."

 

That said, don't try getting into the Vatican in a tank top and shorts: they simply won't let you in.

 

 

a

[EthiopianFood]

I wear jeans and a t-shirt all the time. Many people wear a sweater or nicer shirt with slacks or a skirt. I can't say that many of them don't necessarily dress that way all the time, so I don't know how much effort they are putting into it.

[TammyinTN]

I wear a dress/skirt with heels. Our 12 year old son khaki pants with a polo top or a suit and tie. Dad wears a suit and tie. This was just how we were raised as children and passed it on to our children.

[ElizabethB]

We move a lot.

 

It really depends on the denomination and the area, I've been to services where women were wearing dresses and hats and gloves and men were wearing 3 piece suits and others where people were wearing flip flops and shorts and t-shirts.

[Melissa in Australia]

Men wear a full suit. Women wear a dress or nice top and skirt. Even the little boys have suits on.

[nd293]

I was completely horrified when we saw the congregation coming out of a church on a recent Sunday, mostly at the teen-age girls wearing really short denim shorts and vests. I'm neither Christian (although was raised as such), nor especially conservative, but I wouldn't let me 9yr old dd wear that to the mall, let alone to a church. It's not just church, either, I should add - I saw a girl on TV wearing something similar to her Australian citizenship ceremony. I'm not saying formal situations warrant hats and gloves, but the care we take in our appearance does reflect our attitude to a situation. If people dress up for a date, why not for church / country etc?

[Alice]

We dress a little nicer than we would ordinarily. Dh doesn't wear a tie, about 50% of the men do and 50% don't. I typically wear a skirt or dress but not always. I try to have the kids wear non T-shirts and pants that aren't sweats/jeans and are cleaner/with no holes. I'd say most people at our church dress about the same with some getting more dressed up (men in ties, women always in dresses, kids in more "church clothes") and some tend to come in jeans and T-shirts.

[MyThreeSons]

The men wear anything from suit and tie to khakis and polo shirt; teen guys may wear nice jeans or khakis. The women wear dresses, skirts or slacks. I don't remember seeing anyone wear shorts/flip flops to a Sunday morning service. Even on the days when we have something like a picnic afterwards, people change into more casual clothes after the service.

[mommylawyer]

I usually wear something similar to or the same as what I wear to work or court - either a skirt and blouse/sweater or nice pants and blouse/sweater. My husband usually wears a suit - his preference. My girls wear dresses and my sons wear either nice shorts or nice slacks with a polo shirt.

 

I personally think one should dress nicely for church - t-shirts and blue jeans just don't cut it for me. I'm of the opinion that there is a time and a place to wear denim and church isn't that place. (The same holds true for t-shirts, tank tops, mini skirts, peasant dresses, Ugg boots, crocs, flip flops, etc., etc.)

[creekland]

At our church you can find anything from jeans and a t-shirt to full blown suits. Anything is accepted. It's up to the individual.

 

I tend to wear clothes I would wear to work (colored jeans and a nice top or sweater). Hubby wears slacks and a button down shirt. Our boys wear pants (not blue jeans) and a polo type shirt. We don't HAVE to wear what we wear - it's what we choose to wear. My reasoning is the first disciples probably didn't have a separate set of clothes just for church meetings in each others houses, but they probably didn't wear their most casual stuff either considering they were worshiping God. I don't know for certain, of course, it's just my thoughts.

[ChristusG]

Our church has anything from suits and dresses to shorts and flip flops. I usually wear jeans and a top. Not a T-shirt, but something a bit more dressy. And last week I did wear flip flops.

[momofkhm]

Most of us have the typical "church dress" going. A dress but not really a dressy dress. Pants and a nice shirt for the men, not many ties. Then we have women wearing pants - nice pants, but still pants. A few people in jeans and a button down shirt or polo. It all looks nice. None of the jeans with holes, extremely low cut jeans with bellies hanging out. No spaghetti strap tops.

[Annie]

Women either wear a dress or skirt and blouse. The only women I've ever seen in slacks have been visitors.

 

Most men wear a suit with jacket and tie. Sometimes no jacket, but pretty much always a tie. Even little boys wear dress shirts and ties.

[dirty ethel rackham]

At our church you can find anything from jeans and a t-shirt to full blown suits. Anything is accepted. It's up to the individual.

 

 

For our family, we decided that Jeans and T-shirts were not acceptable, so my boys and dh wear nice pants and a nicer shirt than a T (long sleeved solid color T is OK if it doesn't look like a sports thing) and dd and I wear either nice pants or a dress. If we are going to evening Vigil mass or 7:30 AM mass, I do relax our dress code to allow jeans - mostly because those masses tend to be more casual - and only if we are not serving:).

[Jeannie in NJ]

at our church, kids and teens wear jeans and t-shirts or polo shirts. Adults: mem wear jeans or nice slacks and polo shirts. The only suits are the ones worn by the ushers, deacons and pastors. The women wear nice jeans, nice slacks or long casual skirts or dresses. Only the older ladies tend to get really dressy. In the summer. lots of shorts but knee length, nothing shorter. I live in a resort town so everyone tends to be fairly casual in dress.

[Jennifer in MI]

A real variety! About 60% of the men wear suit and tie. Some wear khakis and polos. Some are homeless or very close to it and wear whatever they have.

 

Women tend to wear nice skirts and blouses. Many wear dress pants. Lots of hats!!

 

We have some Liberian families who go all out on Sundays - in native Liberian/African clothing. It's gorgeous!!

[iquilt]

Our church is right by the ocean so we get a lot more casual in the summer months, but generally I wouldn't feel comfortable wearing jeans to church. I have one pair of nice slacks that work for winter, and I have nice skirts for summer. DH always wears slacks and a button down shirt; 3 piece suits for holidays. Our children imitate us in their choices for church.

[michaeljenn]

very casual. Hubby wears jeans, shirt and ball cap most of the time. I just don't see the point in dressing up? I want to be comfortable. My relationship with the Lord is not dependant on how I dress?? KWIM??

[Mom22ns]

At our church you can find anything from jeans and a t-shirt to full blown suits. Anything is accepted. It's up to the individual.

 

 

:iagree:

 

In the summer, shorts are also acceptable.

 

Our family is casual. Dh and I work in the children's department and jeans fit best there. I do drama and most of the time, I'm dressed for my part. People who don't know me probably really wonder. If I have a week off, I might wear a dress. Ds wears jeans and a decent shirt or long khaki shorts and a polo. Dd wears jeans or dress pants with a nice shirt. I won't let her wear shorts, but will let her wear a skort (as long as it looks like a skirt).

[Chris in VA]

Usually the men are in coat and tie, with a few more casual. The women tend to wear dresses or nice slacks. I only have a few "not jeans" outfits, so I wear more casual dresses. Ds20 wears jeans with a belt and sneakers and a polo. He only has one suit--he'll wear it for special holidays. Ds18 doesn't go, but borrows Ds20's suit for funerals and holidays.

 

Dh wears the same thing, every Sunday.

:lol:

(He's an Episcopalian priest, in case you don't know)

 

I find it depends on the denomination, the individual church, and the family upbringing. I think liturgical churches tend to dress more formally, but even within those churches, there are evangelical/less formal services and people tend to dress more casually. As to why someone would dress up, I've heard that it shows respect for God and for the place.

Edited April 20, 2010 by Chris in VA

[Hockey Mom]

The kids wear jeans and polo shirts for the most part. Dh has a 't-shirt ministry' so he wears shorts and his t-shirts most of the time. I wear capris and whatever shirt/blouse will match. We live in South Florida, so it's more normal for us to wear shorts than to not wear shorts.

 

Our pastor generally wears casual dress pants and a short-sleeved button down shirt. The pastor's wife dresses similar to the way I do. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen anyone at our church dressed up the way some of you have described.

 

Personally, I wouldn't attend a church that required people to dress formally. What about those people who can't afford to dress to the nines for church? I can't think of anything more alienating than walking into a church where men are wearing 3-piece suits, women are wearing dresses and gloves, and the children are all perfectly pressed.

[Jennifer in MI]

Usually the men are in coat and tie, with a few more casual. The women tend to wear dresses or nice slacks. I only have a few "not jeans" outfits, so I wear more casual dresses. Ds20 wears jeans with a belt and sneakers and a polo. He only has one suit--he'll wear it for special holidays. Ds18 doesn't go, but borrows Ds20's suit for funerals and holidays.

 

Dh wears the same thing, every Sunday.

:lol:

(He's an Episcopalian priest, in case you don't know)

 

I find it depends on the denomination, the individual church, and the family upbringing. I think liturgical churches tend to dress more formally, but even within those churches, there are evangelical/less formal services and people tend to dress more casually. As to why someone would dress up, I've heard that it shows respect for God and for the place.

 

I bet your dh dresses just like mine!! :loll:

 

I think some here are misreading the motivation for dressing up. I dress up out of respect. Our church is more formal/liturgical. Most dress nicely. Yet, we have people who choose not to dress up. I find I feel more, oh, I don't know how to say it, prayerful maybe? when I dress up. It isn't about trying to impress anyone or trying to fit in. Like, in my daily life, I feel better when I get up and put on nice clothes (not dressy - but not sweatpants and t-shirt). I get more done. I'm more effective. Same with church - only stepped up a notch.

 

Now, we've also been to churches where the dress "code" was not formal at all. The service was still respectful (I'm not saying that you can't worship unless you're dressed up) and nice, but I didn't feel right for me. I can't describe it well. I feel better worshiping when I'm dressed for it.

 

But, maybe it's also because I grew up dressy for church.

 

Oh - also at our church - although most dress up, we are across the street from where the Detroit Tigers play. When people come in shorts/tshirts, it's often assumed they're going to a game after church!!

[Hockey Mom]

 

I think some here are misreading the motivation for dressing up. I dress up out of respect. Our church is more formal/liturgical. Most dress nicely. Yet, we have people who choose not to dress up. I find I feel more, oh, I don't know how to say it, prayerful maybe? when I dress up. It isn't about trying to impress anyone or trying to fit in. Like, in my daily life, I feel better when I get up and put on nice clothes (not dressy - but not sweatpants and t-shirt). I get more done. I'm more effective. Same with church - only stepped up a notch.

 

 

I understand that. But I tend to view our church through the eyes of new people entering our church. What about that single mom with four kids, who can't afford to dress up? What if her jeans ARE the dressiest thing she owns? What about the homeless person who shows up in whatever he wore last night? We had a homeless man come to our church every week - he's no longer homeless and has a job - but he was very obviously homeless. I want to welcome those people, and make then FEEL welcome. I don't want a perception of who God is based on what we wear to church. Does that make sense?

 

I think that mankind puts more emphasis on clothing than God does.

[3peasinapod]

We wear things we would normally wear, slacks or jeans with a T-shirt, sometimes a button-up shirt. The girls will often wear fancy dresses just because this is about the only time they get to wear them, and they love it.

[edithcrawley]

At the traditional service, most people wear at least dressy slacks/skirt and a nice shirt. Some men are in suits, some aren't. There are a few people in jeans, but not too many. At the contemporary service, it is the exact opposite. Most people are in jeans, with a few in khakis. There are only a few people wearing suits.

[chiguirre]

You'll have to go and see for any particular church and any particular service. We went to the Children's Mass instead of LifeTeen and WOW, I couldn't believe it was the same parish. At LifeTeen, jeans are as dressy as it gets (even for the choir/servers). I may have been the only mom not in a skirt at the Children's Mass. It was a very weird experience, and it might have been a fluke, because it wasn't like that the last time I went about a year ago.

[Tess in the Burbs]

our church has everything. old ladies in old ball gowns(no kidding!) to people in jeans. We tend to wear casual pants and I have a few skirts. No hose for me but I do see it on the old ladies. Some men in suits. Some look like they need a shower, lol. And we have a SMALL congregation

[Red]

Most dress casually and some more formally.

[2squared]

Our church runs the gamut, but I don't think anyone is super dressy. Dh wears a tie when he lectors, but never else. Our family dresses casually with a few rules: they have to match and their clothes cannot have holes or stains in them. :D The kids probably feel dressed up. In the winter we dress up a little more.

 

In general, I want the kids to not feel a separation between our home life and our church life. I want them to feel comfortable walking into a church no matter what they are wearing.

 

We also live in a poorer, rural farming community.

 

The senior citizens in our church never wear jeans and 70%+ of our congregation are senior citizens. Our baby will most likely be the only baby born and baptized in our church this entire year.

[BigMamaBird]

In our family, regardless of where we go, we dress up. Dh wears slacks, long sleeve shirt and tie, I wear a skirt and a nice top. I also wear make up which I rarely do during the week. At our church though, everyone wears what's comfortable for them. Some folks dress up a lot, others are pretty casual, there's even one young man who comes every week in full "punk" regalia. No one really cares what you wear.

[The Girls' Mom]

We've been to a lot of churches, and most have a pretty good mix between casual and formal.

 

We tend to dress up a little more. Dh wears a suit, but often no tie. I wear slacks or a skirt. The girls wear slacks or dresses....and flip-flops! (honestly, on the flip-flops...they have huge feet, and the only other 'dress' shoes I can find (and can afford x3) have heels and wear horrible blisters....so they have 'dress' flip flops.

 

It doesn't really bother us what other people wear...as long as it is respectable. Short shorts and skirts that look like band aids are not, imho.

[mommaduck]

When I was a kid, my mom always said "God doesn't care what you wear, he already knows what you look like - but you could put some effort into it, kid."

a

:lol: Love it!

[justamouse]

I understand that. But I tend to view our church through the eyes of new people entering our church. What about that single mom with four kids, who can't afford to dress up? What if her jeans ARE the dressiest thing she owns? What about the homeless person who shows up in whatever he wore last night? We had a homeless man come to our church every week - he's no longer homeless and has a job - but he was very obviously homeless. I want to welcome those people, and make then FEEL welcome. I don't want a perception of who God is based on what we wear to church. Does that make sense?

 

I think that mankind puts more emphasis on clothing than God does.

 

I stopped dressing up when i sat next to a homeless woman and realized everything I was wearing was a status symbol. I felt totally ashamed. We never dressed up for church again.

[mom2jjka]

I would say most wear 'traditional' church wear ( skirts, dresses, blouses for the women and dress slacks and shirts w/ ties for the men) - but there are a few in jeans, too. I don't think I've seen T-shirts (except maybe a Packers jersey on game days :rolleyes: )

 

Our Saturday evening contemporary service is definitely more casual.

The majority wear jeans - usually with a polo or nicer shirt.

[mommaduck]

Hubby is much the same. We dress nicely, but not not over the top. Hubby is more casual, but respectful. He will wear black jeans saved just for church and a button down dress shirt (he hates button down shirts and will change as soon as he's out of church). He's been turned down in various churches for helping to pass the plate, for deaconship, etc partly because he doesn't own a suit jacket or a tie. He used to work with the homeless and drug addicts in a major US city and thinks that such items, particularly for a blue collared worker like himself, is pretentious and keeps those that the Church should be helping out of the church. Fortunately, we finally found a church that has all types and little to no judgment on what each family wears. Some families are stricter on themselves than others and some families are much more lenient...but it's never taken personally.

[charlotteb]

My church is very relaxed. You can wear whatever you're comfortable with. Some people wear shorts and sandals, and some wear slacks with a tie.

[Crimson Wife]

What about that single mom with four kids, who can't afford to dress up? What if her jeans ARE the dressiest thing she owns? What about the homeless person who shows up in whatever he wore last night?

 

Our parish has a ministry that includes collecting donations of new dress clothes for needy families. All the mom would have to do is swallow her pride and ask for help.

 

If you would dress up to visit a monarch here on earth, why wouldn't you dress up when visiting the King of Kings? :confused:

 

My girls and I wear dresses or skirts & a nice blouse, DS wears khakis or dressy cords & a button down shirt with a sweater in the winter or a dressy polo shirt in the summer, and DH wears his suit pants & a button down shirt.

[Tutor]

Generally, members of our congregation dress in business casual - khakis or casual skirts, polos or tucked/ untucked button-downs, sneakers or loafers. Boys generally wear polos and shorts in the summer. But many have been known to wear jeans and sneakers or sandals with a nice shirt. Some come in t-shirts and shorts. The trend among the sorority girls down here are what I can best describe as cocktail dresses, so that's generally what they wear. (I wish they weren't quite so short, though.) One young man wears monk's robes (a la Martin Luther). My dh wears sandals pretty much all year. In the summer, many of the older men where seersucker suits and bowties.

 

It's pretty much "anything goes."

[SilverMoon]

.

Edited September 17, 2023 by SilverMoon

[i.love.lucy]

Our old church was a MEGA non-denom church so people were mostly casual-hip (including the pastor) and I kinda liked it. I could wear my nice jeans (with my Birkenstocks for comfort) and fit right in. The kids were even more casual with often seeing teens in stuff they wouldn't show up for a date in.

 

Our new church is smaller and more formal. We are actually enjoying dressing up more. I didn't feel pressure from the church per se, but seeing that more of a majority was dressier helped us see that this was a congregation that values putting your best forward (even if your best is a pair of jeans). And DH really wanted to dress more formally, so I am following his lead. I'm enjoying it a lot now.

 

Once at the old church one of the music leaders was dressed very casual-hip with the holes in the jeans and no tucked in shirt, etc, and my husband leaned over and said "Even the plumber that came over last week was dressed nicer than this guy". It's not about "playing dress up" to impress anyone, it's about putting your best self forward for worship. If I'd dress nicer with clothes/makeup/hair for a dinner party at a friends house or a wedding, why wouldn't I extend that same respect at church?

 

That said, I think a church needs to extend a welcome greeting to anyone who enters regardless of what they are wearing. We have a pretty multi-cultural congregation and just this last week there were guys in jeans, Aftican American older ladies in the dressy dresses with the big hats, and a gorgeous Indian family with the ladies in the most beautiful saris. I think if you have strong feelings about being very casual so you don't offend a homeless person then there are congregations that would accomodate that and I'm glad that you can find one. My feeling is that for our family we are able and choose to show our respect for worship by dressing nice and would hope that we do not appear to anyone to be doing it for show to anyone other than God.

[Hedgehogs4]

We dress a little nicer than we would ordinarily. Dh doesn't wear a tie, about 50% of the men do and 50% don't. I typically wear a skirt or dress but not always. I try to have the kids wear non T-shirts and pants that aren't sweats/jeans and are cleaner/with no holes. I'd say most people at our church dress about the same with some getting more dressed up (men in ties, women always in dresses, kids in more "church clothes") and some tend to come in jeans and T-shirts.

 

:iagree:

this is like our church.

[Daisy]

Our church is casual.

 

Nice jeans and shirts

Collared shirts

Casual skirts/dresses.

 

Even our pastor wears a collared shirt and nice jeans or slacks.

 

The only time pastor wears a jacket or tie is a holiday or really cold winter day and even then it is going to be a sports coat and not a full suit.

 

Kinda nice after having grown up in a home/church where you were expected to dress to the nines every Sunday. I was the lone kid wearing a dress at youth group on a Friday night. Thanks Dad (eyes rolling).

[Laurie4b]

At our church, there is no dress code. Some women wear dresses; no men wear ties. Younger people can be really casually dressed. Teens wear shorts, for instance.

[babysparkler]

It all depends on how I feel that day... sometimes a dress, sometimes jeans and a tee. I don't really feel pressured to "fit in" and go for comfort most days. I sometimes throw on a little makeup if I feel like it. My effort goes into getting the kids where they need to be early enough that I can prepare my heart for worship without jumping into the service haphazardly and frazzled;).

[dangermom]

The standard thing at our church is dresses or skirts for women, slacks and tie for men--generally it's "nice, neat, doesn't have to be fancy." I would feel pretty weird going to church in jeans! :001_smile: I don't get many chances to wear dresses the rest of the week, so I like the chance to wear something nice and look more graceful than usual. I usually buy one or two a year and have maybe 5 in rotation, but it's been over a year since I bought anything.

 

No one makes a fuss or anything if someone comes in casual clothes--it happens.

 

I don't really buy the 'too poor to own a dress' argument. There are many, many people in our church who have very little. I know women who have worn pretty much the same one or two outfits to church for a long time. The outfits may well have come from a thrift store or Walmart, or they may be hand-me-downs. But in this country, where clothes are cheap and plentiful and very few people are actually starving, it is not impossible to find one skirt to wear on a Sunday.

[Daisy]

I don't really buy the 'too poor to own a dress' argument.

 

I don't give the "too poor to own a dress" argument. I give the "I don't want to wear a dress and I don't think Jesus cares," argument. In our house we have "church" clothes. They just happen to be our nice jeans and our nice shirts. :D

 

Here's how I see it. I'm most comfortable with myself in jeans and a nice shirt. I'm most self-conscious in a dress. So am I going to church to worship Jesus or worry about how I look the whole time?

 

Jesus, you know, the fisherman? The guy who had dirty dusty sandals and hung out on hillsides chit-chatting with normal people? Somehow I'm thinking he cares a whole lot more about the state of a person's heart then whether they are in jeans or a dress. As a matter of fact one could argue that the people he slammed the most were the ones with fancy china tea-cup outsides and dirty rings inside.

[Lara in Colo]

Our church is very casual. We are there to praise God. I think that to dress out of the norm for THAT church is to make a statement that does not glorify God, but yourself. If the church is casual and you are trying to make a statement that they should be better, or vice versa is to take the focus off of God. We didn't attend church for a long time for many reasons, one of which was I couldn't afford to dress 4 children with enough clothes for a good rotation (when I was younger I was teased for only having 2 dresses that I rotated). This is silly. I hope that I am secure enough now to not need to be perfect and that I have chosen a church that wants myself and my family, not our image for a poster. That said, we wear a variety, sometimes dresses, sometimes jeans-but always we are clean, and respectful of others (ie; no short skirts as to not offend anyone) but forgiving of those who aren't.

 

Lara

[dangermom]

I don't give the "too poor to own a dress" argument. I give the "I don't want to wear a dress and I don't think Jesus cares," argument. In our house we have "church" clothes. They just happen to be our nice jeans and our nice shirts. :D

 

Then I was not addressing you and I don't see the need for sarcasm.