Did your path in life follow your parents plan for you?

[keptwoman]

I've been reading the threads about expectations of adult children. What I find fascinating about them is peoples certainty that their children will follow the very set path that is being laid down for them.

 

I know my husband and I have not followed the paths our parents set. The path my parents set was very like so many of you seem to be planning for your daughters, I did not follow it, I did not continue with their religion and I did not wait until marriage to have teA and children.

 

So I thought I'd start a poll. But of course feel free to comment :)

[keptwoman]

Just thought I'd add... in the end I have ended up in a very traditional marriage with husband and 3 children. The path to it was not as my parents hoped though.

[Dobela]

No. For my mother life is about wealth and power and prestigue. I didn't major in college in a major like law, medicine, or business. I didn't marry the doctor, lawyer, or military officer. I currently don't live in a big house in an impressive neighborhood. I am true to the religion that she taught, but interestingly she has since abandoned it herself.

 

My dad didn't try to lay out a path for me. I know that he had his own hopes and dreams, but he also always said I would make my own path. I know he would have liked seeing different things in my life at times, but he hasn't dwelt on it like my mom.

[The Girls' Mom]

My mother had no plans for me..lol.

 

Honestly, I think her biggest goal was for me to graduate high school. Check.

[elegantlion]

My mother had no plans for me..lol.

 

Honestly, I think her biggest goal was for me to graduate high school. Check.

 

:iagree:

[Melinda in VT]

I don't think my dad had any plans for me other than for me to grow up happy, healthy, and a contributing member of society.

 

My mom had more specific plans and hopes for me, and I have not followed them. I was not supposed to have a career, and I was not supposed to change my religion.

 

Oh, and both of my parents think I'm on the wrong side of the continent.

[Lolly]

I do not know if my parents had plans for my life to follow. If their plans were for me to make my own, then I followed them. Other than that, I am clueless. I think our job as parents is to guide and protect our children down the path that THEY choose. We are not supposed to push them onto the road that we think is best when they come to a split in the road.

[Night Elf]

Yes, and I felt like I had no choices. I was groomed to graduate high school with clerical skills, get a job, get married and become a stay-home mom with the birth of my first child. Anything else I did was 'nice' according to my mother but nothing thrilled her more than the happening of each of those events. My father died when I was 21 but his opinions were never really known because he totally deferred to my mom. They were divorced when I was 4 and my mom had all control.

 

Due to marriage and kids, I was unable to finish a college degree because I only took classes occasionally when I could fit them into my budget and schedule. I am happy with my family and home but harbor an unsatisfaction that my life isn't mine. I really don't want my children to feel this way.

 

Ironically, my mother was just telling me yesterday how happy she was for me and my life and that I should also be happy because I had everything a woman could want. What she really means is that she wishes her younger adult years were like mine. My life is her dream.

 

Added: I feel very strongly against laying out strict expectations for my children's lives. I absolutely have no plans I will insist they follow. I love them tremendously and believe I'm here to facilitate their journeys by walking just to the side and a bit beyond them as they explore the world. I'll be close enough to help but I will not be leading.

Edited July 18, 2009 by Night Elf

[Carrie12345]

I voted no even though I wouldn't say my parents set an official path.

 

I had asked to transfer to a technical high school for their art program (with my guidance counselor's support) and my mother freaked. So I did stick with her high school plan.

 

I had received a full scholarship to a local business school, but my mom really pushed for me to go away to a 4yr school. So I went (but it didn't go well!)

 

My parents had split up when I was a teenager, and my mom worked 2-3 jobs to keep our house and to keep as much food on the table as possible. She wasn't as focused on impressive degrees and high-powered careers as she was focused on making sure I could stand on my own two feet.

 

I wound up having a baby at 21, working a lot of retail for several years, flitting in and out of college, and now I've spent 8 years being a sahm with no college degree, 4 kids and, hopefully, many more years of sah to come.

 

It's not what she had hoped for me, but she's never said a negative word about it. Though I did hear that she cried when she found out about #4. :tongue_smilie:

[FO4UR]

I think my mom had certain expectations for me that were just not what I want at all. Some of it was generational gaps, and some of it was her not wanting me to fall into that same tough spots she experienced.

 

I did stay in the same religion. My faith was mine from a very young age.

[Peela]

The natural path for me, considering my family background and the expectations of not just my parents but my grandparents too, would have been to get some sort of a degree. I was considered a very bright child and the bar was set high for me. My dad is a scientist, my mum has an arts degree, my grandparents were teachers, my aunt is a doctor.

Unfortunately my parents separated when I was 13, and it affected me so strongly my life just took another path altogether. I left home at barely 16. I still finished highschool, but it was living elsewhere, not with family. I did well, was accepted into uni. No one was offering to pay for uni for me though, or even offering advice, and I was pretty estranged from both parents by the time I finished highschool.

I worked for a while, then I went travelling. I went on a spiritual pilgrimmage. I felt life was futile and my parent's lives were shallow (and most other people's) and I wanted something different for myself. I wanted to find out why I was put on the planet.

 

I would be happy if my kids had strong feelings for what they want to do. My son does in a way (he wants to make lots of money :)). My daughter is artistic. I am in the strange position of trying to formulate a path for her because she doesn't know what to do herself. She knows what she doesnt want to do, just not what she does. Its ok- I figure doing something is better than doing nothing, and it might help her develop more ideas for a sense of direction.

I am not especially attached to whether they go to university. I do hope I can get them both well skilled in something though.

 

The good thing about my disrupted teen years and estrangement from my parents was and is that I really did spearate from them and formed my own destiny. I have lived on the other side of the continent my whole adult life. They have had very little influence on my decision making as an adult. Yet we now have a great relationship and they are very respectful of me and basically grateful that I stay connected, I believe. I love them. And, they are proud of me.

 

Its interesting how generations flip though. I am so extremely close to my kids. I do hope I am not controlling of them though. I want them to find their own destinies.

[HRAAB]

I guess I'm in the minority. Yes. My parents hoped for me to have a good life, good marriage if that's what I chose, children, faithful, responsible husband, a belief system, and hold on to the morals and values they imparted to me. It wasn't specific, but more general. Except for a couple very small detours, that is what I have.

 

Janet

[Jenny in Atl]

All mine wanted was for me to be happy and have choices (many paths to explore).

[jenL]

The only path I think my parents had for me was for me to attend and graduate from college. I was always the "academic" type, so they expected high grades always, and as a result of the smarts, I had to attend college. However, I was never told "be a doctor, lawyer, etc". I attended college, graduated, and then went on to receive a M.Ed. I guess I fullfilled their requirements.

 

Someone mentioned religion... I know they expected me to remain a Catholic. I left it in college, yet I never stopped believing in God. We're now part of a non-denominational church, so as heartbreaking as it was at first for my family (including grandparents), my mom is content that I still have God in my life.

[Maria from IN]

My mother laid a rather haphazard path that was alternately decided by her feelings about women's independence, the traditional roles she grew up in, and later by the anxiety that caused her to manipulate as much (and as many) as she could in her life.

 

At first, she decided that both of her children would go to college and make something of themselves. She played her "I Am Woman" LP on my record player right along with my Thumbelina and Jungle Book records...B's had to become A's, and A's had to stay A's, or I was grounded...my brother floundered for seven years, changing his major again and again before getting a 2-year degree in television engineering--he's now an engineer at a tv station--but after 2 years in college, studying Communication Theory on a scholarship that paid most of my tuition and holding my own in the University Honors Program, she yanked me out, saying, "I didn't like what you were studying anyway.":glare:

 

A year later she said, "I'll pay your tuition to X community college if you promise to study something secretarial." I decided to stay in my retail job, because as a secretary at that time I wouldn't make much more than that anyway. I became pregnant outside of marriage, and I thought she'd be disappointed, but she said, "the only reason I sent you to college was to get married." :001_huh:

 

Thinking that was all I deserved from her, I married a man she and my dad didn't like, and that I knew I probably shouldn't marry, but I was naive and thought it would eventually work. I divorced after five years and lingered in a factory for ten years, feeling out of place and unsatisfied with my life.

 

Then, after dad died, I decided I was going back to college. I worked full-time, went to school full-time, and homeschooled. I'm not working full-time anymore, but I'm in grad school and working on my Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, and now I feel like I'm where I belong--if not terribly late getting here!

 

I have no idea whether she thinks this is the road I should've taken. Given that she's so concerned about how my actions could embarrass her terribly in front of family and friends, she's probably happy I'm in school again, and probably tells people it was all her idea.

[Firefly]

I voted "other" because I don't really think they had a plan for me. They are extremely happy with how I turned out though. ;)

[DawnM]

Well, for the most part, yes.

 

My parents expected me to finish college and grad school and have some sort of career, but they also were perfectly fine with me staying home with children as long as I had something to "fall back on."

 

I got my education and then got married at 29. I worked from the ages of 22-38 and then quit to homeschool.

 

Dawn

[Desert Rat]

I think that my parents are okay with the way I finally turned out. But they were very disappointed in the decisions I made and the path I took to get here. I kept telling them to trust me. I'm smart and I have a level had on my shoulders. The minute I turned 18 I also turned my back on their religion. I tried to go/believe while I was in college but it just really didn't work for me. I can only imagine the sadness they felt. My dad and I have an understanding and have really good talks about my beliefs and how they really aren't THAT different from his. Mom isn't there yet.

[LibraryLover]

,

Edited July 20, 2009 by LibraryLover

[OrganicAnn]

I voted yes, but I'm not sure you would consider my parents as setting a path. They wanted all of us to go to college, to be able to support ourselves if need be, and to be happy. It wasn't too restrictive. They didn't care what area we went into, what college or type of college, what career, how much we made. They wanted us girls to be able to support ourselves just as much as my brother.

 

But that didn't mean they didn't want us to get married and have a family. My mom had worked for 10 years (from high school till she was 28) before she met my dad and got married. Then she was a SAHM. We have several women in our family have never married. Aunts, great aunts, great great aunts. So the option to be single and work was always an option. My mom always said it is better to be happy single than unhappy married.

[Tap]

My parents didn't voice expectations of me but I know my mother didn't agree with most of my life choices. I was the baby of 9 kids (raised with 5) and I think by then they realized that they had little control over our futures. I am a product of my parents second marriages so my siblings are from previous marriages.

 

My mom had been a single parent for many years with 4 little kids so her main goal for us kids was to have a job that could support us no matter what. She had gone to college for computer science (back when they used paper punch cards) but never used her degree. She tended bar to pay her bills and because of this wasn't entirely convinced that a college degree was a road to success and money. She grew up in a blue collar town (lumber mill) and a lot of the people who made the most money weren't college educated, they were hard workers. When I was in elem school my mother went back to school and got a Real Estate Licence. My grandmother always worked being anything from a cotton field worker, wet nurse, house cleaner, nurse, and lumber yard employee. Women working in my family as part of the household income....is a given. Non of the women in my immediate family are stay at home wives or mothers (incl. SIL's). In fact I think that it may be looked down upon, if you didn't work ~~funny that I never thought about that before. When I was 21 got a job as a bartender. I was floored when she was happier about this than my getting accepted into college. :confused: I figured she would complain, but instead she was very happy that I had a job that I could support myself on.

 

My mother had 5 kids, but never wanted any of us to have more than two. She was very, very open about that fact! All five of us have two kids, so at least I didn't disappoint on that detail (our 2yo is my great niece that we adopted-not planned). I think part of that was that she was a young women when birth control was first coming out but she didn't use it. I was the only planned birth for her, and she didn't want to have me, but my father insisted (he wouldn't marry her unless she agreed).

[Impish]

My mother was determined that I be a doctor or lawyer.

 

Instead, I left home at 15 due to abuse, went into foster care, and my life became a roller coaster ride from Hell.

 

After ditching an abusive partner, I was a single parent of 1. I went to college and graduated from a health care aide program.

 

When I became pregnant again without benefit of marriage, both my mother and grandmother threw a fit when I refused to have an abortion.

 

I moved across country to get away from the toxic family relationships, met and married my husband. Despite being the only daughter, my parents didn't bother to come to my wedding. I was married in a church, the dress, etc...surrounded by strangers.

 

So no, I didn't meet her expectations at all, in the slightest.

[cathmom]

I voted no. I'm not aware of my mom wanting any particular path for me except to be happy, but my dad was disappointed that I remained Catholic after a period of exploration, and he saw no reason for me to get married and have a family.

 

Actually, I am surprised that my father still gives me advice, because I usually do the exact opposite. :)

[HeatherInWI]

It depends. I did graduate from college and did marry a wonderful Christian man, so from that perspective, yes. However, as a child of a two-career couple, I'd felt neglected, so I decided to quit my career to be a full-time, homeschooling mother when my first was born. So, from that perspective, no. Happily, my parents figure it's my life and are supportive of me even when I've chosen a different path. That's a gift I hope to give to my children, too. I want what is best for them and will urge them to make the most of their opportunities, but I won't try to plan their whole futures for them. That part, I figure, is between them and the Lord.

[Nicole M]

I am pretty sure my mother wanted me to marry JFK Jr.

 

:smilielol5:

[cathmom]

Oh, and I forgot to add, my dad also still thinks I should have majored in some math or science type field instead of foreign languages. He actually told me a couple years back that I should write a computer program about homeschooling, despite the facts that 1) I don't know programming 2) have no idea how one would go about doing what he suggested 3) hate anything to do with programming (basically I am on the computer because I have dh to set it up for me!) and 4) have no interest in that.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My parents hoped for me to have a good life, good marriage if that's what I chose, children, faithful, responsible husband, a belief system, and hold on to the morals and values they imparted to me. It wasn't specific, but more general.

 

:iagree:

[cathmom]

I guess I'm in the minority. Yes. My parents hoped for me to have a good life, good marriage if that's what I chose, children, faithful, responsible husband, a belief system, and hold on to the morals and values they imparted to me. It wasn't specific, but more general. Except for a couple very small detours, that is what I have.

 

Janet

 

I would say you were in the minority because it sounds like you had normal, mature parents who weren't trying to live through their children. What a blessing!

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I know for a fact they never saw me as homeschooling my children. But, I also know for a fact that they think it's absolutely the best choice for us. They are so supportive.

 

I know that they saw me as a missionary because that's all I've ever talked of being. But, they didn't see me living in Central America. I always talked of Europe--Amsterdam more specifically. But, again, they are so supportive and proud of what I've done and how our family is. They let me know all the time!

[PiCO]

I would say you were in the minority because it sounds like you had normal, mature parents who weren't trying to live through their children. What a blessing!

 

I'm pretty sure I had "normal, mature parents who weren't trying to live" through me, but they still had goals and aspirations for me. They wanted me to be an engineer because I was good in math and science. They certainly aren't disappointed that I own a small business, but they are surprised.

 

I did end up with the same belief system, though. I toyed with Christianity for a while in my early 20's, hoping to fit in with the crowd better- but I returned to Atheism. ;)

[Mommyof4ks]

No. For my mother life is about wealth and power and prestigue. I didn't major in college in a major like law, medicine, or business. I didn't marry the doctor, lawyer, or military officer. I currently don't live in a big house in an impressive neighborhood. I am true to the religion that she taught, but interestingly she has since abandoned it herself.

 

My dad didn't try to lay out a path for me. I know that he had his own hopes and dreams, but he also always said I would make my own path. I know he would have liked seeing different things in my life at times, but he hasn't dwelt on it like my mom.

 

Wow, I will avoid duplication and just say this is just like my family's expectations.

 

I ended up being a SAHM to 3 wonderful kids and have been married for 11 years. Life is fairly good here even if it is not what my mom had planned!

 

I don't have any long term expectations for my kids. My goal is to help them discover their talents and gifts and give them ideas on how to use them. If they choose to great, if they choose something entirely different that is fine too. IMHO God has a plan for everyone and He will guide them where they need to go if the kids will just listen. I know first hand that His plans are not always seen as the best choice or even a good choice by people.

[Nicole M]

My vote is really, "Good heavens, no!"

 

My parents' expectations primarily involved wealth and the pursuit thereof. I live a voluntarily simple life. I also home birthed, home school, aspire to an urban homestead, and generally live a bohemian, (re: revolting) lifestyle, according to my parents' view. They think it's a shame, tragic, even, that someone who is white, smart, attractive and educated should live like I do. If I weren't their daughter, I don't think they'd really even like me.

[johnandtinagilbert]

No. And I had 3 families! Foster: They wanted me to be an engineer and career woman. Mom: she was just happy I graduated high school (the first in her family) and when I started college she was thrilled. dad: not pleased I did not finish college -- any degree

 

They are all Shocked I married a "religious" man (b/c I am so free spirited) and all thought home schooling was, well I'm not even sure they had ever heard of it. They all wish my husband made more money.

 

I do have a path set for my children. They will all go to college, at least for an AA, as they will dual enroll in a local program that will give hs diplomas and AA. After that, I will strongly encourage them to finish their college degree in whatever field they love. I am preparing them for that with very specifically chosen courses even now.

 

I pray my daughters will marry pure Christian men and breastfeed, stay home, and home school. I pray my sons will choose women who will do the same and are pure women in the Lord.

 

I know that may not turn out, but a mother has prayers! Everything I do for them is centered around what we have decided is best for our families. They have a whole lot more support, guidance, sense, and/or provision than I ever did, so I am hopeful.

[JVA]

Definitely NOT. My mother had/has the mindset that one is only as valuable as how marketable one is. I went to college because she pushed it so much and I know she's disappointed that I don't work full time. She wishes I'd been a working mom and has always had them on a pedastal. They do juggle a lot and I admire those that MUST do it. I simply don't have to as we've chosen to live on one income and live very simply, forgoing many luxuries.

I've been married for 30 years to the same wonderful man, we had 'lots' of kids (her words- we only have 5), and I've been hs for 22 years. It's exactly what I/we wanted and not what she wanted at all. She was a public school teacher and can't understand why we wouldn't just put them there - with the job/daycare scenario. I know she's unhappy with my life choices and really doesn't have anything to do with us. I feel sorry for her in that she's missed out on our family and the love she could have experienced. It's taught me to not extrapolate my desires/needs onto my own children and let them explore what God's plan is for their lives on their own. When they ask for advice, we give it. We also have pointed out their strengths and gifts to them in discussions as we think it is important to exhort them.

On the other hand, my dad has been supportive and encouraging all along the way. He's wonderful!

Edited July 18, 2009 by JVA

[Tree House Academy]

Probbaly not. I was pregnant and married at 19 (thumbs down with the parents). I did finish college at 21 (thumbs up with the parents). Then I was divorced at 22 (thumbs down again). Remarried (thumbs down by mom at first...) and now am a sahm/homeschooling mom (likely not what my mom would have chosen for me. She wanted me to BE something. Well, I am...just not her description of "something).

[Janet in WA]

My parents didn't have any concrete plans for my life. But they did expect that I'm marry a nice local boy who would find some line of work (didn't matter what) that would keep us living in my hometown for the rest of their lives. Didn't happen that way. Instead, my dh's career almost immediately took us away from my home town, and we've been moving around every since. My parents were deeply disapproving of this kind of shenanigans. They would have preferred that my dh make the choice my father did and work his whole life at a job he hated, just as long as we never relocated.

Edited July 18, 2009 by Janet in WA

[Alphabetika]

I'm not sure that my parents had a path laid out for me - they were more the "You make your own decisions, honey," kind of parents.

 

But I know my dad would have preferred that I be a bitter atheist, as he was, instead of a joyful Christian, as I am. My faith and hope distressed him to no end, even to his dying day.

[TammyinTN]

No definitely not. My parents wanted and pushed me to be an accountant.

 

They didn't stay at home with us, and didn't see the point of homeschooling and being home with your children until they saw it all in action.

 

They would have had me live in our little town with my family, but weve lived all over the place.

 

I think now they are happy I did what I wanted and married my best friend. My life has been exciting and fun.

[kalanamak]

I said yes, for though my parents never hinted or pushed one career over another, nor SAHM vs. not, I knew what they were happy with how I turned out. The particulars are different, but in generals, I have simply copied them. It looked like a successful formula.:)

 

I'm honest and loyal, I work hard, I look on the sunny side, I support myself and my family, I'm a lifelong learner, I pay off debts ahead of time, I have a sense of humor and some common sense, too, I think. I could tell they were pleased with me, in their quiet, wry-smile way.

 

Plus, they got their prodigal daughter back: I was the one who "hated" my mother, who didn't do well in school, who ran off as a teen, etc. etc. What better than a tale of love lost and regained. And they only had to wait until I was 19.

[KidsHappen]

My parents didn't really have any specific life plans for me but instead supported my in whatever I chose to do. I am doing the same thing with my own children. All I hope for them is that they are happy and healthy.

[WiseOwlKnits]

I was until I decided to be a SAHM. My mom thinks it's a waste of my college education if "all" I want to do now is stay home with my kids and homeschool them. She'd much rather see my kids in public school and me back to teaching. She was a career public school teacher and I can't remember how many times I've heard her complain about the public school system so you'd think she'd be happy about it. Oh well.

[NancyNellen]

Well, I voted 'no', but it is because I became a "Bible-thumpin', born-again Christian". They weren't planning on that. :-)

[Dirtroad]

My Mom wanted me to earn big money in industry after completing college. She wanted me to be self-sufficient & never need a man (theory that you can't count on them).

 

I completed several degrees, but got married & now homeschool 2 with #3 on the way (and I am over 40). NOT IN HER PLANS! She firmly feels 2 kids are enough... after that, you are burdening your family & society.

 

To live on one income & not have a day job... kills both of them. I need to let day care & public schools raise my kids & I need to get a job.:001_huh:

 

Just say the Christianity post by Nancy... yeah, I tripped them up on that one too. They were not against it but neither went to church except for funerals. My Mom has changed direction greatly & now has joined us! She even is beginning to see how GREAT homeschooling is... but she still wished I had a full time job & #3 was not an issue.

[laughing lioness]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(I voted "no")

[lionfamily1999]

Of course, my parents' life plan for me was to be happy.

[Rosie_0801]

I don't think my dad had any plans for me other than for me to grow up happy, healthy, and a contributing member of society.

 

 

That's what my dad said. What he really meant is he wants me to be working and not terribly happy. At least he gets a kick out of anything that causes me grief and contributing doesn't really count if it isn't financial, in his book.

My mother expected me to get married, but mothers do expect those sorts of things. Oh well. She'll have to save up and go to Kenya and see my sister married, assuming she does marry her boyfriend. I'd have got married if someone had proposed, but he proposed to propose then decided not to. :glare: Oh well. If we'd had a wedding, we couldn't have afforded the kids and we like them :)

 

Rosie

[Liz CA]

My mother had no plans for me..lol.

 

Honestly, I think her biggest goal was for me to graduate high school. Check.

 

 

I think my mother just wanted me to be able to follow my dreams which to some extent I was able to do.

 

She came from the WWII generation (born in 1940) and they were happy to be alive when it was all over.

[Moni]

My folks said, "Make yer own path"

and so, Yes, I have" ;)

 

:seeya:

[MOM24WONDERS]

I don't think there is anything wrong with our parents having dreams and ambitions for our lives - as long as they realize that they are THEIR dreams and ambitions and may not come to fruition.

 

I followed the EXACT path my mom did - got married very young, started a family rather quickly after marriage, have always been at home and would never be anywhere else. Those were my parent's dreams for me - that I be full of joy, healthy, and living in God's will. Ironically (I suppose) I never wanted anything except to be just like my mom and to marry someone just like my dad...which I did.

 

My parents were THE perfect parents. I had the most amazing childhood any kid could want, terrific siblings, you name it. I always wanted to have exactly the same thing - and God blessed me with it. Now, I'm not a perfect parent - not nearly as wonderful as my mom - but I try and I am learning from her and God everyday.

 

I know people think I'm corny when I say that my childhood was perfect - the stuff fairytales are made of - but it was. My mom is my best friend and I love my dad more than life itself.

 

My parents live across the street, my brother and his family live on one side of them and my sister and her family live on the other side of them. So, yeah, we're all VERY close knit.

 

My sister also wanted the exact same things - to be just like our mom and to marry someone just like our dad. Which, she did.

 

It may be corny and ridiculous to some to say that we are living our dreams - but I know that I am. I couldn't want or ask for ANYTHING more than what I have. A wonderful husband, 4 gloriously wonderful children, a beautiful home, the ability and freedom to be the one my children are with everyday and to teach them, great parents (and in-laws - LOVE them) that live close, extended family across the road. My neices and nephews are my children's best friends.

 

So, yeah, I think if my parents could have planned out our lives they would have done pretty much what we've chosen. It was never forced on us or expected of us - we were given EVERY opportunity to do whatever we wanted - college, career, you name it. I think that's where the full of joy comes in :)

[BabyBre]

My mom wore a power suit in the 70s and 80s and I'm quite sure she expected me to do the same. I almost did, too, and it wasn't even going to be derailed by a baby at age 16. It was actually derailed by my marriage at 22 or so. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree, sure, but then went to work from home, outside of my field to finally stay home with dh and ds. And to later fully devote myself to child rearing was probably not what my parents had in mind for me, although they would never begrudge me for it. My mom has since praised my efforts with my children that are so different from the way she raised me, and that means a lot to me.

 

But Mom never taught me how to make meatloaf or in the supreme art of good wifery. And OJT in wifery (and cooking) is tough!

Edited July 19, 2009 by BabyBre