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MOM24WONDERS

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  1. :iagree: I haven't read this whole thread, but this struck me as the best advice yet. I can't imagine not having the control in my own home to feel peaceful. I don't think sending them to school/daycare is the answer because it's obvious they didn't learn some great behavior patterns there. I would stop everything and work on discipline. At your son's age, he is still trainable - and that's what I'd work on with both of them. You can always take 6 weeks and just do discipline/behavior training and then pick back up for school. I do agree that your plate seems to full. It doesn't seem to full to homeschool or too full or for a mom or too full for a wife. I think it's too full for a PERSON. lol My advice would be to seriously look at the things you are doing and choose those with the greatest priorities - the things that involve your children and drop the rest. Also, bedtimes are a MUST. An 8 yo should be asleep no later than 8pm and a 3 yo should be in bed by 7 or 7:30. Then you can have the evenings free to read or take a bath or just breathe. Personally, when our oldest children go to bed at 9 pm (yes, our oldest who is 15.5 goes to bed at 9 pm - teens need more sleep than toddlers :) ) I take that time to spend with dh, cuddling, talking, whatever. I read, do my Bible study, etc. It refuels and recharges me for the next day. To be honest, my children are a joy. All the garbage I've been told about how awful the teen years are is just that - garbage. I love being with my kids. They aren't perfect, but neither am I ;) However, they were trained at a young age to be respectful and obedient...and it has made even the teen years be a precious time. I have loved and will love every stage of my childrens' lives (and hopefully those to come!) I'm not sure what you can drop or if you can drop anything, but I do think the secret is getting your household under control. Also, I don't know if you're kids have chores, but at their age, they both should be taking care of a good deal of things. Even the 3 yo can make his/her own bed, pick up their laundry and put it in the wash room, clean up their mess from meals and put in dishwasher, clean up their own toys, etc. The 8 yo can do much more - clean bathrooms, take out garbage, mop. I would get a good routine going and stick to it. I'm sorry and sad to hear that someone is feeling like you are. It makes me wish that someone would just give you a big hug and give you a day off!! :grouphug: That's the best *I* can do, but I will say a prayer for you and I hope things get better. I didn't say this before, but make sure to share with your husband how you are feeling. He needs to know and help you in making these changes - and possibly make some changes himself. You will definitely need his help in the child training aspect. Just remember, nothing ever gets better by pushing it away (school/daycare/job), the problem just gets bigger and causes more trouble. You are doing something so wonderful for your children, what they deserve and you are to be commended for that.
  2. My biggest epiphany this year was to just let my oldest be who HE was academically. I love literature based curriculum (we are avid Sonlighters :) ) - but my son did not love it. He hated it. So, I finally (duh) gave it to God - and asked him which way to turn...His answer? Textbooks. Well, technically textbooks, but really SOS...like a textbook on the computer. He doesn't do it for everything, but for most and our life is soooo much better. The girls are happy to be doing SL and he is happy to be NOT doing SL. So, I guess my biggest epiphany was to stop listening to all of the critics about what is best/worst and to just go with what works. It might be the "best", but only if it works for your child/family. The best can easily be the worst!
  3. We bought a new sectional last year...and we LOVE it. Best purchase we've ever made! We have a very large living room so we are able to move it around several different ways (I rearrange the furniture in each room at least every 3-4 months). Ours is really large and long - basically the size of a large sofa, a large chair, and two huge recliners. It also has a wide armrest between the two recliners that flips open to store things in - and two drink holders (not in the flip up thing, but in front of it). It is brown suede and sooo comfy. It's also very easy to clean. By the same token, I see that others don't like their sectionals...so I guess it's a "to each his own" subject!
  4. We don't have television in our home, but I personally don't like the look of a tv over the fireplace. I like our fireplace and mantel to be decorated - and look like home - not be all technical and electronic. I've seen this done in many homes and it's just a personal preference. I don't know how it would be watching it.
  5. The first thing I do each morning is shower. I roll out of bed, head straight to the bathroom while my husband wakes the children. They then do their chores and get dressed. I come out of the bathroom, make my bed, and go to the kitchen to start cooking breakfast. So, we are all dressed each day by 6:30 am - unless we are sick.
  6. We still buy paper towels (3 rolls for $1.25) and use them on a platter to catch grease if we fry something. That's about the only thing we use them for. Oh, and cleaning windows/mirrors. I've never heard of using a paper towel for dusting or toilet cleaning, though! I use a washcloth to clean the bathroom - just one from the stack - it's going to get washed in extremely hot water anyway :) I use my dishtowel to wipe counters, fronts of cabinets, table, chairs - and to clean the stove after each meal. I have a couple of those bar towels to use for dusting. We also keep hand towels in the bathrooms for drying hands. Growing up we always used cloth napkins, so it's not a big deal to me. Even though paper towels are cheap, it's still wasted money in my book. Of course, I am extremely frugal - we feed a family of 6 on less than $300/month. And this includes stocking up on meat that's on sale. We generally go once per month and spend about $250 and the other $30-$40 comes from needing to replace bread/milk, etc. I am very blessed to have grown up with frugal parents - we always had huge meals with plenty to eat - and always meat - but my mom never spent much money doing so. It's all about having a deep freeze, a pantry, and stocking up :) Ok, that was totally off-topic. Sorry!
  7. I should say it's been my experience that the healthiest women are those that have larger families. I find that women who have 4+ children (and I know MANY that have 8-10+) are in great shape, healthy, no problems. While, on the other hand, it seems that a large number of women with 1 or 2 children are overweight, bad health, having all sorts of female problems, hysterectomies, etc. The worst female problems that I've seen almost always come from women who reach age 30 and have never bore children. Our bodies were made to reproduce...it doesn't mean that we're like machines just pushing babies out for the sake of doing so. This isn't a dig at women who can't bear children, who suffer from infertility...I know first hand how hard that is. I have a dear friend that is 28 and she is infertile - it's devastating...but she also has severe and horrible female issues. It is heartbreaking. For everyone that I know that's quiverfull, it's honestly and truly about a complete desire to fulfill God's Will in our lives. We believe that birth control is a sin and we trust God to space our families according to His desire. It's not about seeing how many children we can have - I know quiverfull families with 3 children - they desire to have more or are open to more, but God hasn't taken them there yet. We've had 5 and desperately want more - and if it's God's will, we will have more - if not, then we accept that also. Again, it's not about a number, but more about accepting the blessings that God is offering. Doug Phillips once said, "The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. Why is it that our world heartily accepts a curse, but continuously rejects a blessing?" That's not exact wording, but the same sentiment. It's about letting God control the family size, regardless of what that size is. That's quiverfull :) As for the finances situation - anyone can have that. It's not exclusive to our ways or beliefs....all it takes is a little planning. If your situation only deems that you can have an insurance policy - make sure that it's big enough that neither of you will have to be concerned with anything except your children - at least for a few years. It's not about doing things "my way" or that I think we have it all figured out - we certainly don't!!! It's just about knowing what it is we want for our family - setting goals - and reaching them. This is beyond extremely important to my husband and I. His main wish when setting up our finances was that I would never have to work - even if something happened to him. Again, I don't mean to offend - it's not my purpose. I was just stating an opinion...and not even one directed at anyone for that matter. While I may not agree, others are certainly entitled to their beliefs and opinions. I wish Christians were given the same courtesy.
  8. That's rich. Heck, in that case...why not go ahead and blame the poor dead woman - I mean, for heaven's sake, she's the one that went and died. And yes, I've known REAL men who have cried and been devastated over their own infertility. I am blessed to be married to a man that loves me and our children completely...he would never want to do anything to risk losing me or one of our children. I'm certain that this man wasn't thinking about using his wife's pregnancies and their subsequent blessings as a way to "knock her off". Get real. There is no one to blame...it's not a blame type of situation. As for who would care for the child? Well, I think the time to prepare for that is NOW. In our case, for instance, if something happened to either me or my husband (and honestly, we have as about as much chance of getting run over by an 18-wheeler as we do dying giving birth, especially in this day and age), neither of us would have to work. We've set up our finances so that if he passes, our lifestyle won't change at all - I will still be at home, homeschooling, etc. If I pass, he will be able to do the same. Plus, we have AMAZING parents that would step in and help all they could and needed to. I think everyone should have their finances in order - then there is no worry. I mean, what happens if you die tomorrow? Who is going to take care of your child? That whole argument is pretty asinine if you ask me. Again, until you've experienced faith like we have, you can't fathom or understand it. I'm not sure why I ever expect anyone to.
  9. Ok, for those that are naysayers of the quiverfull movement - what would be your suggestion for "controlling" the births? Natural family planning I'm sure is an option - and one that isn't harming the mother or child. However, so many go for things like the pill or IUDs which cause spontaneous abortions. I just read an article recently that stated that a woman on the pill has an average of 3 spontaneous abortions per YEAR. That's huge...and scary. Not to mention all that junk messes with your organs, your hormones, and increases your risk of cancer tremendously. I'm certain that God knew what He was doing when He created the female body. It wasn't a mistake or a glitch in our development ;) Again, I'm certain that there are women who have very poor health who may need to take a different route with their fertility. In that case, I would suggest natural family planning. For the person who posted that their family member had died after giving birth...I just found that whole statement a little nauseating. It was as if you blamed the woman or even her husband for her death. Honestly, I'm sure they've lost enough. She didn't die by accident or because she had more children when a human, fallible doctor told her not to - she died because God allowed it to happen. Why? Only God knows. I'm just as certain that those folks didn't make the choice to keep having blessings lightly. They obviously knew the risks and were willing to take them. On the other end of the spectrum - can you really, honestly look at those precious children that she bore and say they shouldn't be here? Is it a ,"If you mother hadn't had you, she'd still be alive???" I know that most people can't understand a faith like we have. It's all encompassing. It never changes. It's easy to be faithless and even Christians have a faith that can waver momentarily...but if we truly believe that God is in control and loves us, why worry?
  10. Dh and I both had it and we were told that we were contagious for up to 5 days AFTER the symptoms left. I never even had fever, so the old adage of waiting 24 hours post fever wouldn't even have been an option. I can tell you from personal experience that this is one thing you do NOT want. I would stay far, far, FAR away from anyone that had it - and at least for a week afterwards. Just my .02
  11. I suppose if a woman was in poor health or something there could be a problem, but God knows that - and He knows that woman's body better than a doctor or even she does. We believe that God is in control and that He knows what is best. We don't believe in any form of birth control because we know that God will only do what is best for us. If it's to be blessed with 20 babies, then so be it - if it's to be blessed with 1 or 4 like we are, then again, so be it. I don't sit in judgment of those that DO use birth control, it's just not what we believe is right. I'm sure if you talk to 10 different people or even doctors that you will get differing opinions. Go to a pro-life, quiverfull doctor and you'll get one thing - go to a pro-choice doctor with a socialist or "limited number of children" mindset and you'll get another.
  12. She is a serial killer. There is no difference in someone grabbing an innocent child off the street and murdering them to get some perverted high than there is for this woman to have the gift of life created within her and killing it "for pleasure". What's even more appalling is that she can and does use the media to exploit her rampage. If someone did the SAME thing to those innocent babies 6 months later than she did, they would be in prison for life or facing the gas chamber, as well they should be. Simply sad in my opinion. What IS our world coming to?
  13. The difference being that our bodies were MADE to reproduce, so it's not "overuse" of our uterus to bear children. On the other hand, our bodies were NOT made to murder innocent babies. That's not overuse, that's disgusting. I really feel like vomiting now. I wish I'd never read that. What a sick and twisted woman....
  14. I feel the same way, Luanne. My parents are AMAZING. My mom and dad are my heroes! My mom for always staying home with us, homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, the whole 9 yards - and my dad for sacrificing so much to allow her to be home. I have THE greatest parents (well, according to me anyway :) ) I also can't imagine having some of the parents that I read/hear about. I know that I'm blessed and I don't take it for granted for a second! It's obvious that we have great parents because we all live right here on the same street - my brother on one side of my parents (mama and daddy still live in the same house we grew up in - been there for 38 years), my sister on the other, and me across the street. We are all very, very close. I am so thankful for the values and morals that my parents instilled in me - and I'm certain that my kids will be living right here beside us one day!
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